08x09 - Always Be Crimefighting

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go! ♪

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go! ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

[clicking]

Does anyone know
why friend Robin

has called this meeting?

I'm guessing
it has something to do

with our low
crime fighting numbers.

That ain't our fault.
It's these bad leads.

They are pretty weak. Look.

This one's just a toe print.

Can I have your attention
for a moment?

[beeping]

One sec, bro.

Put that communicator down.

Communicators are
for crime fighters only.

Why is he going on
Glengarry Glen Ross on us?

Because like those poor saps
in the movie,

you four need
a kick in the pants.

You haven't solved
any crimes lately.

- [Beast Boy yelps]
- [glass shatters]

You call yourself superheroes.

You're a bunch of super zeros.

I don't have to listen to this.

You certainly don't, pal.

'Cause the good news is
you're fired.

[all gasp]

The bad news is
you've all got just one week

to get your jobs back.

Hmm, we're gonna need
more incentive than that.

How's this for incentive?

A crime fighting contest.

First prize,

a vintage 1985 wave skipper.

[all] Whoa!

Twin cylinder two-stroke engine
with rebounds!

And the underwater exhaust
for the quieter operation!

And racing stripes.

Must have it.

What's second prize?

Second prize is an
autographed photo of me.

[triumphant music playing]

Third and fourth prize.

- You're fired.
- [triumphant music stops]

You get the picture?

You can't fight crime,
then hang up your tights, pal,

'cause you are out.

But the leads are the weak.

The leads are weak?

The stinking leads are weak?
You are weak.

I could bust criminals
all day with those leads.

You just have to work harder,

because only one thing
counts in this life,

get them behind the bars
which are iron.

ABC.

A always, B be,
C Crime fighting.

Always be crime fighting.

Always be crime fighting!

Guy thinks he's a big deal
just 'cause he knows
them alphabets.

[Robin] You see
this utility belt?

Kind of hard not to.

I got this belt from Batman,
the world's greatest detective.

So, yeah,
I'm kind of a big deal.

- Oh!
- [glass shatters]

Do any of you
know what it takes
to be a good crime fighter?

Meatballs?

- [sloshes]
- [crashes]

No! Brains!

But you didn't know that,

[panting] because you are
not good crime fighters.

Which is why
you don't get these.

[all gasping] The good leads!

That's right.
These are the good leads.

These are Batman's leads,
but they'd be wasted on you.

So you do not get them.

So we're stuck having
these crumb-bum leads?

You wanna win
that wave skipper?

[all] Yeah!

Then Titans, go!

[Robin reading]

[Cyborg] All it says
is grocery store.

What a terrible lead.

Scanning for
suspicious behavior.

[mimicking electronic beeps]

Free samples.

Get your free samples here.

Brother Blood.

He must be giving out
those blood biscuits

so he can turn the customers
into mindless zombies.

[laughing maniacally]

Stop right there,
Brother Blood.

I know you're
using those biscuits
to control people's minds.

I'm doing no such thing.

My biscuits are just so good

that they blow people's minds.

[Cyborg] I'll be
the judge of that.

[chomps]

[howling gleefully]

- [mystical music plays]
- Oh, my!

I'm in biscuit heaven.

[chomping]

[belches]

[chomping]

See? You're hooked.

And I am off the hook.

The weak lead has taken me

to the mat of the laundry.

If the crime
is in the progress,
I shall do the finding of it.

[humming]

[gasps] The k*ller Moth
has the holes in the sweater?

This can only mean one thing.

He has dressed
the adorable tiny cricket

in a fancy sweater vest.

Then, using his toxic serum,

k*ller Moth mutated him
into a monstrous creature

of the destruction
and the chaos!

- [humming]
- [Starfire yelling]

You will pay
for creating the abomination

who wears the fancy sweater!

What are you talking about?

I'm just here doing my laundry.

Then explain to me

why the fancy sweater vest
has the many holes in it?

I'm a moth.
Putting holes in sweaters
is kind of my thing.

[chomping]

- [dings]
- [chuckles]

Oh, I the see. My mistake.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to run into that light.

- [electrical buzzing]
- [thudding]

Ooh, I actually
gots a good lead.

The movies.

All right, I gotta find me
a crime to fight.

[gasps] Gizmo.

He must be smuggling in
a shrink ray

so no one can block
his view of the screen.

- [pops]
- [laughing maniacally]

- Hey!
- I got you, Gizmo.

Now let me see
what's in that backpack.

- Snacks?
- Yeah, so what?

I was smuggling my own snacks
into the movie.

I guess that's not a crime.

Now let's get down
on this candy
and watch this movie, yo!

[chomping]

[crunching]

[idyllic music plays]

[Raven] The park?
This can't be right.

It's so peaceful here.
Not a single crime in sight.

Hmm.

[suspicious music plays]

Wait a minute. It's the Brain.

He must be receiving some cash
Mallah robbed from a bank!

- Oh, no, you don't!
- [smashes]

Hand over
the stolen money, Brain.

What? I don't have any money.

I am just here to paint,
like Monet.

[harpsichord music plays]

Wow, you're actually
pretty good.

Oh! Why, thank you.

[groans] Well, could you
at least commit a crime?

We're having a competition
and the winner
gets a wave skipper.

Ooh, a wave skipper!

So, you'll help me?

- [splashes]
- [Brain] Never!

This is my day to paint.

- Now go away.
- Whatever.

[thuds]

[lightning strikes]

[groans] None of us are gonna
ever win that wave skipper

with these bad leads.

[all sighing]

[somber jazz music playing]

[giggling mischievously]

Are you guys thinking
what I'm thinking?

Mmm-hmm.

I think we is.

[all] Steal the wave skipper!

[all laughing]

I thought you guys
were serious for a second.

No, bro, that's crazy.

We are supposed to be doing
the fighting of the crimes,

not the committing of them.

You're right, Star.

We could never
steal that wave skipper.

Even though it would be easy.

- Yes, it would be easy.
- [all murmuring]

Who would suspect us?
Am I right?

Not difficult at all.

[whimsical music plays]

Yeah, well, phew!
Look at the time.

I've got something, uh,
important to go do.

Oh, I, too, have

the doing of
the important something.

I better get home
so I can beat that traffic.

- Laters!
- [lightning strikes]

[Robin] Ahhh!

What's all this
screaming about?

Someone stole the wave skipper!

It wasn't me.

Star said
she was gonna steal it.

Yes, and so did friend Raven.

I was joking around.

Everyone knows how much
Cyborg loves wave skippers.

He stole it.

Don't you
point your finger at me!

It could've been any one of you
little thieving thieves.

Well, one thing's for sure.

You're all
terrible crime fighters
and even worse criminals.

Oh, yeah, Mr. Big Shot?

Then let's see you
solve this crime
using your leads.

Okay, okay,
I can work with this.

Because when it
comes to crime fighting,
I'm kind of a big deal.

Just gotta find more clues.

[thuds]

Come on, Robin,
ABC, always be crime fighting.

Give me a second!

Hmm, no.

It is not so the easy, is it?

I just need some more time.

[crashes]

[sniffs]

[gasping and choking]

[vomits]

Time ain't gonna help you.

What you need
is some of them good leads.

Argh, you're right.

[sighs] We can't be
good crime fighters
without good leads.

We told you.

Now let's use these
bad boys to track down
that wave skipper.

Titans, go!

[engine revving]

- Which way, dude?
- Let's find out.

[energetic music plays]

[Robin] Take a right.

[tires screeching]

So them good leads
is just a bunch of arrows?

That's right, Beast Boy.

- Now take a left.
- [tires screeching]

- [Robin] Right. Left.
- [tires screech]

- Right again.
- [all] Ahhh!

Would you cut it out?

Why? Because it's leading us
to where you stashed
the wave skipper?

No, because it's
making me car sick.

[vomits]

Go up, up, up!

[Robin] Now down, down, down!

[all screaming]

Okay, okay. I admit it.

That you stole
the wave skipper?

No! That putting you
in charge of the leads
was a terrible idea!

- [thuds]
- [tires screech]

Turn down that street, Cyborg.

But we cannot
go down that street.

Why, Star?

Because it will reveal
that you're the thief?

No! Because that street
is the one way!

- [cars honking]
- [all screaming]

Phew, that was close.

Last card. It looks like
we're almost there.

- Go straight, Cyborg.
- But I can't go straight.

Because we'll
uncover your secret?

No, dummy, the bridge is out!

[groans] This is the place.

Now we'll finally uncover
who took that wave skipper.

[engine revving]

The Brain?

Yes, it was Mallah and I

who stole this sweet,
vintage wave skipper.

Ooh, we love water sports.

Now tell me,
how did you find us?

[all] Good leads!