08x08 - Winning a Golf Tournament Is the Solution to All of Life's Money Problems

[bunniefuu]

[bird crowing]

[cat meowing, mouse squeaking]

[elephant trumpeting,
lion roaring]

♪ Go! ♪

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

[horns honking]

Man, I love this car!

The seats are so nice

- and squeaky!
- [squeaking sounds]

The engine is
so nice and revvy.

[engine revving]

The windshield
is nice and shiny.

And once we fill it
with wiper fluid,

It'll sha-kling even louder.

Sha-kling!

Like that.

[wheels squeaking]

[hissing]

Wait a minute. Cyborg!

Do... Don't you think

you should feed the meter?

We're gonna be right back!

It'll be fine!

[bell chimes]

[gasps]

This is not fine.

They are taking my baby away!

[screams] Why?

Whoa. According to this,

you owe this city $5000

in unpaid parking tickets.

Uh-oh, and if you don't pay up

they are going to auction off
the T-Car!

Oh, man.

I gotta come up with five Gs

to save my car?

I don't have
that kind of money.

[crying]

[squeaks]

[continues crying]

Cheer up, Cyborg.

I know how
you can come up with the cash.

You do?

- You're gonna ask
Bruce Wayne for it?
- Nope.

- Apply for
a part-time job.
- Nuh-uh.

Sell some old things
at a yard sale?

No! I've got a much more

practical idea in mind.

[upbeat music playing]

Winning a golf tournament?

That's right.

If movies have
taught me anything

it's that winning
a golf tournament

is the solution to
all of life's money problems.

But I don't wanna enter
some boring tournament.

Well, you're in luck,
because this is
no ordinary tournament.

This is the DC Invitational.

An annual event
where heroes
and villains compete

for the greatest prize
in the DC Universe:

a giant novelty check
for 5000 bucks.

[cash register dings]

That money would help me
save the T-Car.

But I don't know
anything about golf.

Except how to drive those
sweet little golf carts.

That's okay.

Because I
am an amazing golfer.

And I'll be your caddie.

You're gonna drive a taxi?

No, not a cabbie. A caddie.

It's someone
who carries your bag
and coaches you on how to play.

You really think
you can coach me to win?

[laughs] Of course, I can!

Not only am I
an amazing golfer,

but I'm even better
at bossing people around.

[captivating instrumental
music playing]

Okay, Cyborg.

If you are going to become
a great golfer, first,

you have to look like one.

So put these on.

Oh, man.
I look ridiculous.

You look like a golfer.

Well I feel like an accountant.

Great. Time to learn
about the clubs.

Now, what would you
like to start with?

- The sand wedge?
- Yeah, man.

I love a club sandwich.

No, sand wedge.

Or, how about this one,
the chipper.

Ooh, chips.

Does it come with dip?

[screaming] I'm not
talking about food!

I'm talking about these.

Ow!

Why did you do that for?

To get you to focus.

I am trying.

But all this club talk
is making me hungry.

Then let's move on
to the rules.

Now, each player starts
from the tee, with the goal
of making it to the pin,

with the least amount
of strokes possible.

A stroke, is to find--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You hit the ball and try

and get it into the hole.
I got it.

Well, there's much more
to it than that.

First, you have to get
a feel for the course.

Become one with it.

I recommend tasting
the morning dew,
like so.

[slurping]

Is that really necessary?

I mean, you wanna win,
don't you?

Yeah.

Then get down there
and taste that dew.

[both slurping]

Alert the
groundskeeper, Mallah.

It appears this course

has a pest problem.
[laughs]

Go ahead,
laugh it up now, Brain.

Because you won't be laughing
after we win this tournament.

And what makes you think
you can defeat me,
the reigning champ?

'Cause we are on a mission
to save our car.

Oh, yes. I heard about that.

Which is why when I win,

I'm going to use the money
to buy your car,

and melt it down
into my own personal toilet,

with a built in bidet.

You wouldn't dare.

Whoa, easy there, Cyborg.

You can't fight him here.

You are going to have
to settle this on the green.

I would say
let the best player win.

But we already know that's me.

[beeps]

[trumpets bellowing]

[hip-hop instrumental
music playing]

[cart reversing]

See you at the tee, Titans!

Whoa.

That cart is sick!

Please tell me we get
to drive one of those.

Mm-hmm, no, no.
I have got
something better in mind.

We are going to travel
like golf legends
by walking the course.

[Cyborg] But the first hole
is over a mile away.

Well then,
we better get started.

[groaning]

Okay, Cyborg. This first hole
is a 300 yard par four.

So hit the ball
with all your might,

and make sure to follow through
with your swing.

[lively piano music playing]

[gasps]

[giggles]

Nice shot!

Or should I say, nice shank.

Now, step aside,

and let the champ
show you how it's done.

[rock music playing]

Oh, I can smell
my toilet car already.

[laughs wickedly]

[Robin] Well, the good news is
your ball didn't go
into the water.

[croaks]

But, the bad news is,
you're gonna have hit it off

- k*ller Croc.
- [croaks]

Man, forget that.
Can I get a do over?

Ooh, sorry.

There are no do overs in golf.

You have to play it
where it lies.

Look, I know you're nervous
but, golf is a mental game.

Which means, you need
to play with your head,

and not your emotions.

Fine,
I guess I'll give it a try.

Be careful, Cyborg.

[Robin] Easy.

- Easy.
- [croaks]

[suspenseful music playing]

Whoo! I did it.

- [k*ller Croc groans]
- See?

That wasn't so bad.

- [growling]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This club isn't mine.

- [growling]
- Ah!

[screaming]

- [growling]
- Ah!

Great, now what?

[Robin screaming]

Will you quit
loafing around, dude?

Try using a nine iron
to free yourself
from this sand trap.

Fool.

That isn't a sand trap.

That's Catwoman's litter box.

[hisses]

Ugh.

Okay, Cyborg.

- You're up.
- Here we go.

Ah, so close.

There it is.

Boo-yeah!

I'm a natural, baby.

[giggling nervously]

- [Robin grunting] Ow!
- [Catwoman meowing]

[upbeat instrumental
rock music playing]

[screeching]

[both grunting]

[upbeat instrumental rock music
continues playing]

[bell dings]

It all comes down
to this, Cyborg.

If you can sink this shot,
you'll win the prize money.

Oh, man.

I don't think I can make it.

Yes, you can.

Remember,
golf is a mental game.

You just have to use your head.

Use my head...

I can do that!

[cheering] Ha, ha!

[gasps]

Oh, no, you don't.

[laughs]

[giggles]

Whoo! All right!

Boo-yeah!

Yeah! All right.
[giggles]

h*-h*!

[grunting]

No!

You did it, Cyborg.

Whoo!

- Yes!
- Awesome!

[cheering]

- I can't believe it!
- Cyborg!

- Nice job man!
- [cheering]

I can't believe this whole
golf thing worked.

Now let's go get the T-Car.

Forget it, Titans.

- That car is mine.
- [beeps]

[dramatic music playing]

Now hand over the check.

No way, dude.

Then you shall be destroyed.

Quick, chip away at it
with your chipper.

You shall pay for that.

Now smash it with your driver.

[grunting] Ha!

Oh!

[groans]

That check belongs to me!

You want it so badly,

you can have it.

[echoing] Fore!

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, no, Cyborg.

Your check is ruined.

Now we won't be able to get
the T-Car back.

That's okay.
The brain can have the T-Car,

'cause I'm taking this.

Pop in. I wanna play
another round
before the sun sets.

I love this game!

Whoo-hoo!