03x12 - The Great Bunny Book Ban/Toy Boy Johnny/Frankenbravo

[bunniefuu]

One, two, 3--huh!

Baby!

Sassy!

Man, i'm pretty.

Hoo! Hah! Huh!

Do the monkey with me!

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Yeah, whatever.

Boy: My book report is on

the little engine that could,

Which is a really awesome book

about a little engine

That gets attacked by ninjas,

but morphs into a snowmobile,

And his robot friends

come to help him,

Then they blow up

the death star.

The end.

Teacher: Very good, raymond.

I'm impressed.

Miss winkleman,

that's not how

the story goes.

Raymond's compromising

the literary integrity

of the book.

Really? Well, suzy,

since you know so much

about literary[mumbles]

Why don't you help raymond

do a new book report.

[romantic sigh]

Um, i didn't mean

that i-i would

Oh, miss winkleman,

that would be like

some wonderful dream.

Well, it's settled then.

[bell ringing]

Suzy, when we get married,

do you want to have children?

Because i would rather

have monkeys.

We're not getting

married, raymond.

I'm just helping you

with your book report.

You smell like cream soda.

Uh, i know

a book you could

do your report on.

Mrs. Dewey,

do you have a copy of

harold and the fuzzy bunny?

Oh, no, dear.

I'm sorry.

"the man" came by

and banned that book.

Nooooo!

Did he say why?

Oh, something about

its being dangerous

for young minds.

Oh, this is terrible!

The freedom to read

what want is

The cornerstone

of our democracy.

I've got to do something!

That's right, suzy!

Fight the power!

Stick it to the man!

No shirt, no shoes,

no freedom!

Sourball?

[bell ringing]

What to join my campaign

To fight the senseless

repression in our library?

Get lost!

I baked brownies.

Awesome.

Suzy: Want to join

my campaign

To fight the senseless

repression in our library?

Books good!

Fire bad!

Books good!

Fire bad!

I like pie!

I like pie!

[horn honking]

Who's that man,

mrs. Dewey?

Oh, dear, that's

the horse's patooty

Who came and took

the books away.

Hello, children.

Why did you ban

harold and the fuzzy bunny?

Ban is such

a strong word.

I prefer to think

that i

Protected your fragile

little minds.

But bunnies are

soft and cuddly

And have lots to teach us

about sharing and togetherness

And the dangers

of overpopulation.

Harold and

the fuzzy bunny

depicts a world

Where humans and bunnies

frolic shamelessly

In meadows

and at picnics

And even on the moon!

It's that kind of fantasy

hoo-ha that leads to

Dancing, card-playing,

and the eating of tofu.

Well, i like

that fantasy hoo-ha,

And so do my friends.

Kids: Yeah!

Now, now,

calm down, children.

I've brought plenty

of wholesome books

For all of you

to enjoy.

Klaus!

Kids: Yay!

"not-so-curious eddy?"

"fun with carpet lint."

"formica: A short history?"

These books stink.

Don't you understand that

children must be challenged

So that they don't

grow up to be cartoon-like

cookie-cutter stereotypes?

Yeah!

Hey!

Suzy: So, what do you have

to say for yourself?

UhLook! Matt damon!

Where? Where?

[tires screeching]

I'm tired of playing games.

I'm taking this fight

to the highest authority

in the land.

Welcome to spit-take live.

I'm barry krelman,

and we're talking to suzy.

Tell us about

the rabbits, suzy.

Well, they're not

rabbits exactly.

It's a fuzzy bunny

and his friend harold

Fascinating.

Caller, are you there?

Johnny, on telephone:

Yeah, i'd like a large pizza

with pepperoni and extra crust.

Johnny?

Johnny: Little neighbor girl?

What are you doing

at spanky's pizza?

Caller, do you have

a question?

Johnny: Yeah, could

i get a free soda with that?

Johnny, please,

you're eating up

my time!

As i was saying

Sorry. We're out of time.

One final question.

Can i fix you up

with my nephew?

Noooo!

Sorry, barry,

freedom of speech

is my boyfriend.

We'll be right back

with the nun-chuck chicks.

Phew!

[sighs]

It's no use.

Mr. Blowhard doesn't care

what kids think,

And everybody listens to him

more than me.

Don't be sad, suzy.

Maybe mr. Blowhard

didn't have any friends

when he was a kid,

And people said

that he smelled,

And he was in love

with a beautiful girl

Who didn't know he existed.

AndAh, but you don't

want to hear my story.

Hear my story?

That's it!

[crash]

I think heaven is

missing an angel.

Tell rupert the merger's off!

Now tell him it's on!

Now fire jameson!

Then rehire him at

twice his salary!

HmmI could use

a stick of butter.

"once upon a time,

there was a fuzzy bunny"

Aaaah!

Drive, klaus!

"he lived

in mrs. Fiddlehead's

carrot patch

At the end of

dimbly doo lane"

Aaaah!

[panting]

Your table

is ready, sir.

"fuzzy bunny had

lots of friends

And loved to play

all day long"

Aaaah!

[phew]

[siren blaring]

"but sometimes

fuzzy bunny was sad,

For you see,

fuzzy bunny didn't

have a mommy."

Oh, curse you,

you meddling, obnoxious,

irritating little--

Fuzzy bunny didn't

have a mommy?

"And the fuzzy bunny

was never sad again."

[sobbing]

That's the most wonderful

story i've ever heard.

So, will you stop your

crusade of censorship

and repression?

And admit i'm wrong? Never!

Then i guess

i'll have to

Release these pictures

i found on the internet!

[stammering]

Thank you for saving

democracy, suzy.

No problem, mrs. Dewey.

I'm just glad that

my friends can read

great literature again.

Pop-upy.

Johnny: Hey, i didn't know

there were bell peppers in

the oriental chicken salad,

And i certainly didn't

know about

The underground volcano complex.

Now i must defeat you!

Karate! Hoo! Haa!

Whoa!

Oh! Softy linty death!

Evil poly-cotton blend!

Johnny!

Stop messing around!

Sorry, master hama.

I was practicing

my pinky jab of terror.

Why don't you practice

doing your stupid job

before i fire you!

Go towel off jimmy.

He's all sweaty.

Ok, do i get a new

belt color for that?

h*! Ha! Huh! Hiyah!

Gently, you fool!

I'll get cotton burn!

You know that powerful

surprise blow that won

that last match?

I would have done

that differently.

You mean this one?

Yaah!

Yeah, i would have

done that differently.

Johnny, stop

bothering students!

Go eat lunch or something.

But, master hama,

i've got to uphold

the honor of

Ooh, lunch!

[sniffing loudly]

All right!

Peanut butter!

Huh! Hah!

Mmm

So, hama, we meet again.

Oh, hello, pantene claw.

We missed you at

karatecon this year.

We went to tampa.

We dropped many

water balloons.

Big fun! Big! Ha! Ha!

Oh, well, some of us

have a life, you know.

Huh? Oh, i will not

long endure your scorn,

you yin yang yutz!

Someday soon vengeance

will be mine.

You got some soy sauce

on your shirt.

Oh, thank you--aah!

Curse you, hama!

MmmI love

the creamy kind.

The chunky's good,

but the nuts get

stuck in my teeth

And make me slur

my consonants.

[chattering]

Hey! Back off, buddy!

This is johnny's sandwich.

Oh, you want a piece of me?

Well, you better cancel

christmas, chipmunk!

Oh! Aaah! Aah! Whoo!

What an idiot.

Oh! Running away, huh?

I want a rematch!

Very impressive,

young master.

What do you call

that karate style?

Uh, i don't know.

Chipmunk style, i guess.

You must teach me

this chipmunk style

So that my dojo

can make bean paste

out of hama's dojo.

Uh, look, my mama

told me not to speak

to strangers.

Join me, johnny,

and together we'll sweep

the tri-state regionals!

Sure. Why don't you call me

about that at the office?

Seize him!

[struggling]

You fiend!

You'll never get

away with this!

You have insulted

the honor of my dojo!

Master hama! Kids! To me!

Ooh!

Ok, who wants hot dogs?

Kids: Yay!

Welcome to

my secret lair.

Do you like what

i've done with the kitchen?

Aah! Don't walk

on the carpet!

I just had it

dry-cleaned!

What do you want, villain?

I want the secret to

your chipmunk technique.

I know you're loyal

to hama,

But i can offer

you wealth, power

Good references!

Do you have

a talking monkey?

UhYes.

I'm in.

Excellent.

Observe carefully.

Hoo! Hah! Hah! Huh!

Hoo! Hah! Huh!

Hah! Hoo! Huh!

Aww

[hitting and groaning]

Did i get him?

So, you mock me?

Lock him in my rec

room until he becomes

more cooperative!

I warn you

Master hama will rescue me,

And his vengeance will

be swift and terrible!

Trapped!

Imprisoned in

the pantene claw's rec room!

Possibly for the rest

of my life!

Hey! Pinball!

Woman: Hello, johnny.

I am the pantene claw's

daughter ting.

I hate what my father

has done to you.

I wish to free you.

First, why don't

i show you

How i got my eighth

degree love belt.

Hiyah!

Or you could just free me.

Ok, johnny,

but will you show me

your chipmunk technique

So that i may combat

my father's evil.

Ok, but better

make it quick.

Master hama will be

coming to rescue me,

And woe be unto my enemies

at that particular time.

Ok, i got the peanut

butter on me.

Now to find an oak tree

with a chipmunk in it.

Here chippy, chippy,

chippy, chippy.

Here, chippy,

chippy, chippy.

Note to self.

Don't do that again.

What a jerk.

Dad! This is totally

not working out at all.

I have lost patience

with you.

You will show me

your chipmunk style,

Or i will karate

you silly!

Gloat while

you can, villain.

Master hama is even now

flying like the wind

To come and save me.

Rats! Out of skim milk.

Better run to the store.

Talk! Talk!

Ooh! Ooh! Never!

[humming chinese tune]

It's master hama!

I'm saved!

Hello, johnny!

How are you doing,

pantene claw?

Talk! Talk, i said!

Chippy! I must be swift

like the wind!

Haaa!

Yes! Victory is mine!

Thanks, chippy.

[chattering]

So, i beat up your dad.

Want to go out?

Hiyah!

Great! So, i'll pick

you up around 8:00.

Hey, kid, can

i borrow your shovel?

Here's your i.D. Bracelet.

Here's a compass

in case you get lost.

Mama, i'm just going

next door to borrow

a cup of sugar.

Mrs. Krelman?

Open up!

It's me! Johnny!

[thunder]

Ah, i love kite-flying.

And this highly conductive

copper wire makes

the perfect string.

Curse you, ben franklin!

You knew this would happen!

Hey! My kite!

Mama paid almost

$4 for it!

[howling]

Oh, man, whoever

owns that dump is

a big, fat sky hog.

These people think

they can just move in,

build scary castles,

And take over

the neighborhood.

It lives!

It lives!

[ding]

I don't know, boss.

I'd give it another

two minutes.

[loud knock on door]

Hey, buddy.

I told you you're not

getting a tip!

You keep throwing

the paper in the moat,

And then i can't read

the funnies!

Oh, man, i came

to get my kite back.

Oh, your kite.

I see, yes.

If you'll just step

right over here,

I'll see

what i can

Stop, igor! That's no way

to treat a guest!

With such a huge finely

developed cranium.

You're some kind of

weirdo, aren't you?

Welcome to my home,

young man.

I'm dr. Frankenstei--

uhJones.

Oh, you're a doctor.

Well, it's like this,

dr. Frankenstei--jones.

After i eat,

i experience a sudden

loss of appetite

Sometimes for hours!

And then every night,

i lose consciousness

until the next morning!

And sometimes my mind wanders,

and i lose my train--

Hey! Burrito!

You going to eat that?

Don't touch that!

That's my lunch!

Hey look!

Sciency stuff!

Ha! Ha! Levery!

No! You fool!

Look at me!

I'm inventing the cotton gin!

Hoo! Hah! Huh!

Aah!

[gasps]

Aah! Man!

This thing's hot!

Whoa, mama!

Behold, my friends!

The perfect woman!

Kissed with the spark

of life and

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey there, tall, gray,

and reanimated.

How'd you like me

to alternate your current?

[hissing]

Whoa! Graveyard breath!

Do you like her, johnny?

You know, i could

fix you up with her.

All i have to do is

remove your brain,

Stick two bolts

in your neck,

And run 3,000 volts

of electricity through you.

So, let me get

this straight.

I get to go out with her,

but you're going to

remove my brain?

That's right.

Hmm

You know i--hmm

I'll do it!

Did you hear that,

My little gauze-wrapped

gladiola.

One date with johnny,

And you know your body

temperature will go up to 4.

[hissing]

Ah, young love.

Oh, carrying me over

the threshold, huh?

Naa!

Whoa! She has the strength

of 10 women.

She is 10 women.

Hey, baby--ooh!

If we're going

to go out--oh!

Can i get a warranty

on the parts?

Oh, no!

She's getting away!

Rev up the brain-removing

machine.

I'll be right back.

Good luck, son.

Wait! Come back,

my embalmed little

peach blossom!

I shall not rest

until i find her,

Even if it takes me

to the end of time.

I shall not sleep

until my true love--

Hey! Pop's diner!

Who's there?

I can't see you,

stranger.

I've just had

laser eye surgery.

[muffled speaking]

Poor, inarticulate brute.

Come, and share

my simple meal with me.

[sizzling]

Aaah!

No! No! Fire good.

Come on, stranger.

Let's go to the freezer

to get you some ice.

Aaah!

Sweetie!

Come back!

I know i'm alive,

but i can change! Honest!

Friend! Friend!

AhPoopy.

Wait up, my little

flatlining fleur-de-lis!

Hey, everybody!

Johnny's formed

an angry mob!

Let's join in!

[crowd cheering]

[hissing]

[panting]

Back! Back, you animals!

I'll handle this.

Look, babe.

I know you want me.

[hissing]

And by "hiss"

i guess you mean,

"johnny i love you.

Be with me forever

and ever and ever."

[hissing]

[gasps]

Oh, no! Johnny's gone!

So, who wants cookies?

Honey, i'm home.

You're late again!

Why do i put up

with you?

I don't even know why

the doctor bothered to

sew you back together!

All right, all right,

keep your stitches on.

Bride: I sl*ve all day

around this dump,

And you just saunter in

and plop yourself down

in front of the tv!

Well, what about me?

What about my needs?

Everything is

you, you, you!

They always start out nice

when you marry them,

But afterwards, they turn

into real monsters.

Oh, and where's your

paycheck this week? Huh?

Look out.

Oh!

Whoa mama!

A babe!

Mercy.

Whatever.