03x07 - Dental Hijinks/Little Red Riding Johnny/Pouch Potato

[bunniefuu]

One, two, three, ha!

Baby.

Sassy.

Man, i'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me!

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Yeah, whatever.

Hey, mama bought

some new ice cream.

MmmPizza fudge ripple.

My favorite!

Ahhhh

Ahhh!!

My tooth! The pain!

The horrible pain!

MmmCreamy.

Ahhh

Ahhh!!

The stabbing knives of pain!

Hey, it's got nuts in it.

Ahhhh

Ahhhh!!

Johnny! What's all

the commotion here?

Oh, i got

a toothache, mama.

Have you been brushing

your teeth, young man?

Yes, mama.

I've been using this

baking soda and peroxide,

Just like you told me.

Johnny, that's not

baking soda

and peroxide,

That's cane sugar

and molasses.

Tomato, to-mahto.

Ahhh!!

Oh, my poor baby.

Let's get you to

the dental college

And get those teeth

checked out right away.

For free!

The dental college?

Oh, please, mama,

don't take me

to the dental college!

I'm afraid of

the dental college!

Oh, did i say

dental college?

I meant, um,

the happy fun park.

Ooh! Happy fun park!

Happy fun park!

Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

And i want to go on

the twisty slide,

And then i'll go on

the bumper cars,

And then we can go

on the log flume.

We're the bravos.

We have an appointment

to go on the rides.

Yes, mrs. Bravo.

The dentist will see you now.

Dentist?

Oh! She means

the horsey ride guy!

Ooh. Horsey ride.

I'll wait out here,

johnny.

I can't stand to hear

your howls of pain.

Er, uh, i mean,

your squeals of

boyish delight.

Ok, mama.

Ooh. Rocket chair!

Three, two, one,

liftoff!

Wooo!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Woooo!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Rocket-y!

Man: Hello, johnny.

I'm jeremy de sade, dds.

Professor of root decay

and molar dysfunction.

Yeah, whatever.

Can i have $5.00 worth

of quarters?

No.

Now, i'm told that

you suffer from extreme

Dento-laryngitical

distress.

You talk funny.

Hey, which way to

the whack-a-sloth game?

I feel like

hitting something.

Hmmm

Your tremendous pain

seems to have induced

a hallucinatory state.

How delicious.

Right. Well,

i'll just go find

a change machine and--

Oh, i'm afraid you're

not going anywhere

Until we've given

the old choppers

a once-over.

Uh, look, mister,

you don't have to change

my quarters,

I'll just go

over to skeeball

Where the change guys

aren't quite so creepy.

Relax, johnny.

Pain is just

nature's way of

telling you

You're in

horrible agony.

Now, open wide

Ahh! Mad change guy!

Mad change guy!

You won't escape,

johnny!

Louise, hold my calls.

We've got a runner.

I'd better hide in here.

Hmmm.

Must be the hall of

giant chattering joke teeth.

Every fun park has one.

Desade: Johnny.

Oh, johnny,

my boy.

Where are you, johnny?

Are you in here?

Johnny: No

Well, if you were in here,

where might you be hiding?

Johnny: Definitely not

inside these giant teeth.

Ooh, how delicious.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Now i've got you.

I win!

Give me

a stuffed panda.

Grrrrr!

Ahh!

Hey, a fun slide.

He'll never find me

in here.

Whoa!!

HmmmMust be the room

of wacky costumes.

Ha! h*! Ha! Ha! h*!

Ooh, look at me.

I'm a spooky janitor.

Doctor,

where have you been?

The patient is

waiting.

Huh?

Thank you,

thank you very much.

And now, dr. Schmengee

will perform his famous

Lateral frontal

bicuspidectomy

On a random volunteer.

[gasp]

Johnny?

Carl, what are

you doing here at

the happy fun park?

This isn't a fun park,

johnny.

It's krelman's

dental college.

Dental college?

That would explain

the lack of freakish

carny workers.

You're not gonna

do dentistry to me,

are you, johnny?

Me? I wouldn't touch

your mouth if my life

depended on it.

Then what are you doing

wearing those clothes?

Has anyone seen

an escaped dental

patient?

Well, open wide,

it's time to begin

the dental surgery.

What? No! Wait!

He's not a doct--!

All righty,

i believe the patient

is now anesthetized.

[snoring]

The next step to be

performed by a dentist,

which i am,

Is to glue the foot

to the soft palette.

Next, we take

a black marker

And draw

a funny mustache on

the patient's face.

Eh, doctor.

Aren't your

methods

A tad dangerous

for the patient?

How dare you, a pastry chef,

question my methods.

I'm not a pastry chef!

I'm a dentist!

Really? Can you

do something about

this toothache?

It's k*lling me.

You!

Ahh!

[laughs]

At last, i have you

right where i want you.

Johnny: No! No! Nooo!!

Ok, everything's peachy.

You just had a pine nut

stuck in your gum.

Really? Sweet!

I'm outta here!

Wait! Don't forget your

complimentary lollipop.

Thanks, doc.

Mmmm

More strained beets,

johnny?

[muffled]

yes, please.

Mmm

Strain-y.

Hi, i'm congressman

mitch sweeney

And i'm soliciting

donations for my

re-election bid.

I don't think so,

dirtbag.

That, kung fu guy,

is a decision you will

live to regret.

[kung fu shouts]

Thank you,

kung fu guy.

Your efforts to rid

congress of liberal

tax and spend robots

Have made our nation

a better place.

When will you

trespassers ever learn?

[fighting]

Ha ha ha. Contusion-y.

Announcer: Squint ringo will

be back after these messages.

Hey kids, if you want to keep

trespassing lowlifes off your

property just like i do,

You'll want a pair of

squint ringo tungsten knuckles.

Cool!

How can i get a pair of

squint ringo tungsten knuckles?

Just send 97 labels from

krelman's prune spread to:

Knuckles, weybosset,

rhode island, 40023

Good thing mama always keeps

a big supply of krelman's

on hand.

There must be some

prune spread in here someplace.

"dear johnny,

we're out of prune spread.

Love, mama."

Nooooo!

Girl: 94, 95, 96

97 jars of krelman's.

[knock on door]

Hello, i am

a health inspector

Tracking a rancid batch

of prune spread.

You had better give me

all of the prune spread

you have.

Oh, i'm sorry, johnny.

Can't play now.

I'm taking a basket

of goodies to my granny

Who lives in a house

in the woods.

All right, i tried

to reason with you,

Now give me that basket!

Ahh! I'm trapped!

tra la la la la la la la

Ah! I'll starve to death!

I'll have to eat my belt!

And then how will

i keep my pants up?

Oh.

"appalachian trail,

cumberland gap, addis ababa.

Grandma's house"!

I know, i'll change the signs,

Get what's her name

hopelessly lost,

Then steal her basket while

she's crying like a little girl.

Oh, johnny,

you are too smart.

la la la la la la la la

Huh?

That's strange.

I don't remember granny

living in that direction.

Good thing i have my

junior blue bird digital

geosynchronous compass.

Just as i thought.

The latitude is off 131 degrees.

tra la la la la la

It didn't work.

I know, i'll follow this

sign to granny's house

and wait for her.

Excuse me.

Can you tell me where

granny's house is?

["talking"]

Oh, left at the second

traffic light. Oh!

I know, i'll get rid

of this log so she can't

cross the stream.

Then, while she's whining

like a little baby,

I'll sneak off with her basket.

h*! Ha! h*! Ha!

The chess master makes his move.

Girl:

tra la la la la la

Uh-oh.

A junior blue bird

is always prepared.

Good thing i brought

my junior blue bird

bridge in a can.

tra la la la la la la

Ooh. She's a wily one.

But if that bridge can support

the weight of a small child,

Surely it can support me.

Perhaps i underestimated her.

Ahhhh!

Uh, granny's house?

Thanks.

MmmHigh energy

protein bars.

A hiker's best friend.

I'll nab the basket while

she's stuffing her face.

Better leave the rest for

any hungry woodland creatures.

tra la la la la la la la

Ha!

Oh.

Hello, mr. Feral wolf.

Grrrrr

You wouldn't know how to

get to granny's house,

would you?

Grrrr.

You could've just

drawn me a map.

"dear susie, i've gone to mall

for the big sneaker clearance.

Granny."

Hmmm

That gives me an idea.

Hello?

Granny, it's me.

I've brought a nice

basket of goodies.

[high-pitched voice]

oh, hello, susie.

Come in.

You look a little

different, granny.

[johnny's voice]

yeah, whatever.

[higher pitch]

did you bring

the prune spread?

Granny, what big

sunglasses you have!

Yes, well, the better

to see you with when

it's glary out.

And, granny,

what big hair you have!

Yeah, well, chicks dig

big hair, you know.

And my, granny,

you've really bulked up.

Yeah, well, um

Give me that

prune spread!

Johnny!

Ha ha ha.

I got it.

Victory is mine!

Hey, this ain't

krelman's prune spread.

Susie: No, it's

krelman's mango butter.

Prune spread gives

granny indigestion.

Oh, i'll never get

my squint ringo tungsten

knuckles now.

I'm just a big,

stupid loser.

I know, johnny.

But don't feel bad.

Here, have a protein bar.

Grrrr

Johnny: Down, boy!

And they lived

happily ever after,

Except for the painful

rabies shots.

tra la la la la la la la

Thus, we see how man has evolved

To realize his ultimate

modern potential.

Hep!

Ha! Huh!

Hey, how come

he gets a banana?

MmmmBanana.

[monkey noises]

Mad johnny thunders through

the australian outback

On the search for

the post-atomic future's

most valuable commodity.

Sandwich bags.

Suddenly, he's set on by

a g*ng of kangaroo biker punks.

He swerves to avoid them!

Woman: Sir, sir!

Hurry! Get these

sandwich bags

To the orphans

at the thunderdome.

Woman: Sir!

Please stop pretending you're

in a post-apocalyptic future.

You're disturbing the other

people on the tour.

Johnny: You call

this an australian

theme park?

Where are all

the great white sharks

And boomerangs

and leprechauns

and junk?

Look, mate, if you'll just

pipe down and pay attention,

I promise to give you

an extra gob of vegemite

at snack time.

Oh, coming on

to me, huh?

Yeah, i've heard you

germans like to make

the first move.

Look! Is that

a dingo tap dancing with

olivia newton-john?

What? Where?

Stop the tram!

That her?

No, that's the dingo.

Wait a minute.

I don't see anything!

Ok, i'll, uh,

i'll wait here then.

Aw, look,

an adorable koala.

Well, hello, mr. Koala.

Aren't you a cute

little fuzzy wuzzy

little koala?

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Huh! Ha ha!

Trapped. Stranded.

Alone in a harsh,

unforgiving wilderness at

an australian theme park.

I wonder what

will get me first.

Hunger? The loneliness?

The lack of clean living?

Kangaroos?

Kangaroos?

If i can roam among them,

get them to like me,

Gain their trust

Then i can steal their food.

Hello,

you stupid kangaroo.

That's right,

i smell a lot

better than you.

Look, a shiny nickel.

That's right,

now go get it, einstein.

Ha ha! Psych!

That's why a man bestrides

the earth like a colossus,

Ruling all that

creeps or hops--

I want a rematch!

This time,

i'll dazzle him with

my fancy footwork.

Whoa! Whoa!

How about a bracing

game of checkers?

Help! Mad kangaroo!

He's all hopped up

on eucalyptus!

["talking"]

Hold me back!

Hold me back!

He's lucky

my chick's here.

Hey, you're a mama

kangaroo, ain't ya?

Well, anyway, nice

to meet you, lady.

Now if you

could just point me

the way to the--

Hey! What the--!

Oh, no,

not in your pouch.

[struggling]

Ooh, snugly.

Looks like the only way

i can stay alive in this

harsh environment

Is to learn the ways

of the kangaroo.

With my new

mama teaching me,

it'll be a snap.

If i can just

keep my lunch down.

No thanks, kanga-mama.

Johnny does

his own grooming.

Let's see now.

This tree sap should

make a nice hair gel.

Oh, yeah!

Primitive, yet stylish.

Eww, gruesome.

I'll bet if i help

roozilla over there

With some of

my styling secrets,

I can get on his good side.

I, uh, notice you got

a little bald spot,

So i'm just gonna

comb it over a bit.

Now, see,

you got a big forehead,

So you want to push

the hair up and back.

Oh, it's like looking

in some kind of smelly,

Sub-equatorial

marsupial mirror.

He must have a very

negative body image.

["talking"]

No thanks, kanga-mama.

I'll catch up.

All the kangaroo guys are

calling me a mama's boy.

From now on,

i travel johnny style.

Ha! Pogo-y.

I don't suppose

any of you kangaroos is

a licensed chiropractor?

Ah, there's nothing more

relaxing than sundown at

the watering hole.

Well, what are you all

standing around for?

Let's drink!

Oh, i get it.

The water must fill

your walnut-sized brains

With fear and

superstitious dread.

Here, let johnny show

you how there's nothing

to be afraid of.

Once again, i,

a highly evolved human,

Must take the lead.

You know, you've got

a little piece of platypus

on your back tooth here.

Ahhhh!

[laughing]

You mangy marsupials!

You set me up!

Ah, it's no use,

kanga-mama.

I don't fit in.

I'm just a big,

pouchless loser.

The authorities frown on

hunting animals in the zoo,

But that won't stop me,

boomerang cain,

Tasmania's foremost

kangaroo hunter.

If only i hadn't lost

my glasses during that

wild animal attack.

Why, hello there.

Say, you're a

cute little rascal,

ain't you?

Blimey.

There's a big honking kangaroo.

Look at the shanks on him!

I'll never be a kangaroo.

Never ever, ever, ever, ever,

ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!

Freeze, kangaroo!

You talking to me,

frenchie?

I think you made

a little mistake.

Cor! You're

mighty well-spoken

for a kangaroo.

I'll bet your tongue

and palette will fetch

a hefty price.

Look, i'll explain

it to you slow.

I..Am..Not..A..Kanga--

Saint crispin's day!

Help!

Mad kangaroo poacher!

Save me, kanga-mama!

A lady kangaroo.

She'll make a fine

batch of cutlets.

You just made a big

mistake, frenchie.

No one, i mean, no one,

messes with johnny's mama.

All right, all right, i know,

i'm a shining, gleaming man-god.

Hey, quit licking me.

What the heck's

going on here?

Tour guide lady!

You found me!

Now you can

take me home.

Boomerang cain.

We've been trying to catch

this scallywag for years.

Heh!

Take him away, boys!

I guess you'll want

to reward me now.

I take cash,

credit cards,

And sloppy southern

hemisphere smooches.

How about if i toss

you in the slammer for

harassing my roos?

Hey, man, why don't you

just have them give you

a pair of glasses?

Quiet, kangaroo,

you're spoiling me aim.

I want my kanga-mama.