02x10 - Welcome Back, Bravo/The Man with the Golden Gut/ Aunt Katie's Farm

[bunniefuu]

1, 2, 3, hyah!

Baby.

Sassy.

Man, i'm pretty.

Huh! Ha! Huh!

Do the monkey with me.

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Ooh!

Yeah, whatever.

And so we see that we're alone

in the universe,

A superior species

at the peak of its powers!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

I'm stirring in

the sea monkeys'

food, mrs. Bravo.

Oh, the little dears.

There's so much

we can learn from them.

Like what?

UhHave

a cookie, darling.

Hey, look, everyone.

I got a mango.

That's a telegram,

sweetie.

Right.

What did i say?

Just read it,

dear.

"to unseal envelope,

peel back flap and--"

Give me that,

johnny.

We're not getting

any younger, you know.

It's from the state.

They say that due to

a recordkeeping error,

You never

successfully completed

the fourth grade.

Ugh! This is the worst water

i ever tasted.

My sea monkeys!

They say that

to get your diploma,

You have to report

back to school

To pass

social skills.

Social skills?

What are they?

Social skills are

interpersonal techniques

Such as active

listening

[slurp]

And respectful

interaction with others.

Quit blabbing

and make me

a sandwich.

Just think, johnny,

If you go back

to the fourth grade,

we'll be in the same class.

No way!

I'm out of here.

If you want me,

i'll be in bolivia.

Now you see here,

young man.

No son of mine

is going to be

A fourth-grade

dropout.

You're going

back to school!

Aw, mama,

i don't want to

go back to school

With a bunch of

immature little brats.

I don't want to!

I don't want to!

Here's your

lunch box, dear.

I put in some

extra prune loaf

to snack on.

And don't forget

to give the nurse

This note about

your adenoids.

Be a good boy.

Don't talk

to strangers.

Oh, they grow up

so fast.

You'll see,

johnny.

We're going to be

best friends.

How about we stay acquaintances

and you leave me alone?

Teacher:

Good morning, class.

Whoa!

Learning is

its own reward.

You'll be

happy to know

I'm familiar

with the three rs--

Reading, writing,

and rrrr.

Check out

this student body.

You must be johnny,

the new boy in class.

So, you want to

go out with me?

I'm sorry. I don't

date my students.

Oh, i get it.

Ot-nay in front

of the ids-kay.

Gotcha.

Suzie, since your

grade point average

in social skills

Is the highest

in recorded time,

You'll be in charge

of monitoring johnny's progress.

I object!

Withdrawn.

[ringing]

Can i have

cutsies?

No.

Please?

No!

What kind of friend

are you?

Don't think of me

as a friend, johnny.

Think of me as someone

who's going to judge

Your every move

for the next 3 weeks.

Look. Leonardo

dicaprio.

Where?

Shove over, kid.

Hey, hair net, give me

One of them headcheese

quesadillas,

Some ham tots, a bowl

of lips and gravy.

Aw, give me that.

You're too slow.

And now for

the most important

food group of all--

Ice cream.

Come on, sweet pie.

Hey, wide load, give

someone else a chance.

Oh, you want some?

Yeah, yeah. Sometime

today, jumbo.

Allow me.

[sputtering]

You'll pay for that.

Food fight!

[shouting]

Cafeteria

conduct, "f."

[ringing]

Mugsy, why don't

you be our first

for show-and-tell?

Certainly.

This is my diorama

Of the st. Valentine's day

m*ssacre.

Boring.

You had me,

and you lost me.

And now,

through the magic

of sock puppets,

I give you

Johnny bravo's

puppet time theater.

Huh! Hyah!

Hi. I'm johnny.

I'm the coolest guy

ever by far.

Let's meet some

of my doofy friends.

Hi. I'm suzie.

I think i'm so great

because i'm all smart,

And i don't want

anyone to know

That i'm in love with

smelly raymond in the third row.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Johnny!

Hello. I'm mugsy.

I pretend i'm so tough,

But secretly

i like show tunes.

Don't look at me.

And we're all the other kids

in johnny's class.

We're all short

and doofusy.

We're all going to get

beat up in high school

And live boring,

unrewarding lives.

[sobbing]

I'm miss winkleman.

I think

johnny's so cool.

I want to marry him

And make him

my buff little cabana boy.

Thank you.

That'll do.

Sit down,

johnny.

Respect for others

"f."

This field trip is

your last chance, johnny.

If you don't score

an a-plus-plus-plus

in team supportiveness,

You'll have to start

the fourth grade

all over again.

Team supportiveness?

What's the team

ever done for me?

When does johnny

get his share?!

Class, welcome to the museum

of extremely dangerous things.

Feel free to touch

and explore.

Let me feed the cobra.

Let me feed the cobra.

Don't shove,

children.

The cobra's

not going anywhere.

Ooh

Ooh

Ooh

Ahh

Ahh

Ahh

These mannequins show

what happens to children

Who sit too close

to wide-screen tv.

Now, follow me

to the hall of

nasty paper cuts.

Stay with

your buddy.

Look, johnny, an old 1944

little stinker harbor mine.

I wonder

if it still works.

Who are you kidding?

This stuff's all fake.

Look, i'll show you.

Computer:

Firing mechanism activated.

Detonation

in 20 seconds,

19, 18

Johnny,

what'll we do?

The only thing

there is to do.

Get out of my way!

Johnny first, then all

the women and children.

Mock my love

of show tunes, huh?

Sic him, spike.

No!

Maybe it's a dud.

Look, everyone.

Johnny smothered

the b*mb

With his

tremendous bulk.

The big jerk's

a hero.

[children cheering]

And so, for saving

your fellow classmates,

Sort of,

I award you,

johnny bravo,

With your

fourth-grade diploma.

[applause]

Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you.

So, i'm not

a student anymore.

How'd you like to get

hooked on johnny?

I also don't date

brainless, musclebound oafs!

My son, the graduate.

[crying]

Hey, count flabula.

Do you want to work your way

to total body fitness?

Do you want

abs so awesome,

They'll frighten

small children?

Uh-huh.

If you are like me,

you've tried

Every exercise product

on the market

And you are

still not satisfied

It's like he

really knows me!

Until now.

Introducing

the abdominizer 9000.

It'll give you abs harder

than the densest neutron star

More powerful

than cannon fire

So sharp

they can cut diamonds.

You can even fry an egg.

Don't be a smelly,

pathetic loser.

Call now so you can have

plutonium abs.

Abs will revert to fat

later in life.

MustHaveAbdominizer.

"step one,

dump parts on floor."

[hammering and drilling]

Johnny: "step 613

Insert treadle sprocket

into ratchet face z."

Finished!

Guess these are extras.

Let the pumping begin.

Whoa!

Huh! Hyah! Huh!

Whoa!

Huh! Hyah! Huh!

Whoa!

Getting huge.

I'm feeling the burn!

Now to show off my new physique

to the conchitas.

Huh! Hyah!

Off with the wrapper.

Here's the candy.

Hyah!

[laughter]

No way. That's

totally bizarre.

What? Am i that good?

Clam on a stick.

Get your clam

on a stick.

Great leaping

nanny goats!

Nothing

to see here.

Come on,

show's over.

Pops, what's

the big idea?

Johnny, don't you

know what you got

on your belly?

Is there still some eggs

from this morning?

No, son, look!

There's

an exact replica

of mount rushmore

Embossed on your

stomach muscles.

Aah! Get them off me!

Make it stop, pops!

Don't be

a fool, boy.

I could make

a fortune

off this.

A fortune, huh?

What's in it for me?

Why, uh

You can watch me

make a fortune

off this.

I'm in!

Pops: Step right up.

See the boy with the presidents

on his belly.

Gaze upon the magnificent

freak of nature.

Johnny: I cannot tell a lie.

This gut is cut.

Um, ha ha ha!

Bubby--i mean, booby.

Ha ha!

Lock of hair, $5.00.

Johnny's

baby blankets, $25.

Treasure the memory

of my freakish son forever!

[applause and cheering]

I hold these abs

to be self-evident.

In just

under a week,

We've made

170 pounds of money!

Oh, pops, i can't

thank you enough.

Because of you,

johnny finally has

focus in his life.

Make way for

the emperor of abs.

Hey, here's

our star now.

Rico, sonny, make me

a peanut butter sandwich.

Huh! No crusts.

Go easy

on the snacks

there, johnny.

Hey, lay off, pops!

I'm eating for 5 now.

Ok. We'll just have

to train that much

harder tomorrow.

That's another thing, pops.

I'm done training.

It makes me

all sweaty-like.

That's crazy talk, son!

You didn't get to be

top freak by sitting

on your rump!

Pops, let me tell you

a little story.

It's about

a shy young lad

Who came

to the big city

With a handful of acorns

and a crazy dream,

And that boy's name

wasAbe lincoln.

What's your point,

johnny?

I don't know.

What's on tv tonight?

And where's

my potato chip ice cream?!

Pops: And now the moment

you've been waiting for.

Ladies and gentlemen,

rushmo the magnificent!

[muttering]

Good gravy!

Hey, where's

everybody going?

I haven't even done

my bill of rights dance.

sign it, sign it,

you know you want

to sign it, yeah

Forget it, johnny.

They're not coming back.

No presidents,

no crowds.

What? You mean

No more fake friends?

No more

screaming girls?

Not unless you get

back into shape.

I'll do it,

pops!

I'm going to

make a comeback!

First, let's

get some lunch.

Ow!

[groaning]

[panting]

Whoa!

Oh! Uh! Oh! Uh! Oh! Uh!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Congratulations,

johnny.

You're back to

your original weight.

Great. Let's eat.

No. We got to get you

back on stage.

You're right, pops.

People were

paying good money

To stare

at my deformed bulk,

And i threw it

all away.

I'm not going to make

that mistake again.

Good lad!

[cash register dings]

The tension is thick here

on the lawn of the bravo house,

Where we are awaiting the return

of rushmo the magnificent

And his eerily accentuated

abdominal muscles.

There's his manager now.

Let's listen in.

Do you love america?!

[cheering]

Do you love

those wacky presidents?

[cheering]

Then join me

in welcoming back

Rushmo the magnificent!

[fanfare plays]

Huh! Hyah!

[crowd quiets]

[gasps]

Huh!

Man: That's not

mount rushmore.

No. UhIt's better.

It's, uh

Melvin dimitri,

The 16th man to swim

the english channel,

Dressed entirely

in chiffon.

[crowd muttering]

Hyah!

No! No! No!

[sobbing]

Hyah!

Hey, look.

He's dancing.

[singing]

And these are

the prehistoric tar pits

Where dinosaurs became trapped

while looking for food

And sank

to an oozy death.

I suppose when your brain's

the size of a cashew,

You're too stupid

to avoid walking

Into a lake of sticky,

disgusting tar.

This way, please.

[squish]

[gasping]

[gurgling]

Johnny's voice:

Here i am, cliff rogers,

The world-famousest

lifeguard in the world.

All the chicks love me.

Johnny, with high voice:

Hi. I'm a new lifeguard.

You can't be a lifeguard.

You're just a chick.

Oh, yeah? Wait till

you see my moves.

Look out, you fool.

It's the deadly

loch ness duckie.

Aah! Help! Help!

I knew she'd fail.

Eat chlorine,

you hideous pool beast!

Aah!

Hi, johnny. I didn't

know you liked to play

with dollies, too.

These aren't dollies.

They're action figures.

Now go away!

But, johnny,

today's the day

You promised

to take me

to a taping

Of my favorite

tv show--

aunt katie's farm.

I never promised that.

Yes, you did.

I have a signed

letter of intent

Notorized

by 3 witnesses

And a tape cassette

of you promising

to take me.

Suzie's voice:

Promise me, johnny.

Johnny's voice:

All right, all right.

Just give me that pizza.

Even so, i'm not

going to take you

nohow, no way.

Johnny's playing

with dollies!

[cars stopping

and people laughing]

Well, let's get going.

Don't want to be late

for the taping.

Johnny, take

that stupid thing

off your head.

I don't want anyone

to recognize me.

Hi, johnny.

You here for the taping, too?

I camped overnight.

I love aunt katie.

She's my favorite ever

cultural children's host.

Want to know how much

i love her on a scale

of one to gazillion?

[muffled]

i wish i were

a little seed

So she could plant me

in the ground

and nurture me.

The doors

are opening!

The doors

are opening!

Hey, wait for me, guys!

Where am i

going to sit?

Hey!

Down in front!

Ranch hand jim

and piggy pig

Are warming up

the audience.

You using this?

Oink oink.

[gasp]

All right, let's get

this stinkfest

over with.

Ranch hand jim and piggy pig

look seriously injured!

Man over intercom:

Ladies and gentlemen,

Due to circumstances

beyond our control,

This episode of

aunt katie's farm

has been canceled

Aw

Aw

Aw

Unless someone out there

can fit into

The ranch hand jim

and piggy pig costumes.

Oh, johnny!

We could fit

into the costumes!

I could be

ranch hand jim,

And you could be

piggy pig!

How about if i be

mr. Slap you silly

And you be

mr. Shut up for a change?

Woman, southern accent:

Oh, please, sir.

I'd be forever

endebted to you.

It's aunt katie

herself.

Suey! Suey!

[applause]

Aunt katie: hey, farmeroos,

pull up some hay

we're going to

aunt katie's farm today

songs and games

to make you think

please won't you watch?

Our ratings stink

there's ranch hand jim,

he's not all there

and piggy pig,

aw, you don't care

[pffft]

so gather round,

we'll all make nice

and then you'll buy

our merchandise

Hey, farmeroos!

Hi, aunt katie!

Hi, aunt katie!

Today's episode

is brought to you

By the great taste

of fat.

Fat, the other

other white meat.

[toot]

Oh, i hear

golly trolley.

Wonder

who it could be?

Hi, kids!

[cheering]

It's ranch hand jim

and piggy pig.

How are you today,

ranch hand jim?

I am plumb fine,

i reckon, aunt katie.

And how

are you today,

mr. Piggy pig?

Farmilicious,

aunt katie.

Check out

this bacon.

[laughter]

Maybe piggy pig

ought to stick

to the cue cards.

How about we go back

to the smokehouse

And you cure

what ails me?

Someone's being

a naughty piggy pig.

You know what we do

with naughty piggies,

Don't you, children?

Pecking party!

Pecking party!

What the heck's

a pecking party?

[clucking]

Ow! Ooh! Help! Ooh!

Watch the hair!

Well, farmeroos, here we are

at the learning corral.

Today's lesson

is all about sharing.

Let's seeWho can help us

learn about sharing?

I expect i can,

aunt katie,

With a little help

from piggy pig

And eustice,

the angry donkey.

Come on, donkey.

Good donkey.

Johnny's got

a nice piece

of beef for you.

[braying]

Just what is

sharing anyway,

ranch hand jim?

Sharing is when

you let someone else

Have some of your stuff

just because it's nice.

Piggy pig's

going to show us

How he shares these

yummy corn husks

With eustice,

the angry donkey.

Corn husks.

Sweet.

Piggy pig, aren't

you going to give

some to eustice?

Johnny: Go away!

Johnny, i really

think you'd better

give him some.

Hey, eyore,

is this what you want?

Denied!

No, seriously.

You want some?

Denied!

No, really.

This won't end well.

Whoa!

Ooh! Oh! Uhh!

And, uh

That's what happens

When you

don't share.

Are you all right,

mr. Piggy pig?

[muttering]

The best way

to cheer up

a piggy pig

Is to give him

a big old

mud bath!

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

No, please, don't.

[sputtering]

[laughter]

That does it!

Piggy pig's mad as heck,

And he's not going to

take it anymore!

Ooh!

Whoa!

Say good night,

john boy.

Whoa-h*!

[crash]

[toot toot]

Aah!

[crash]

Aah!

[crash]

Heh heh heh heh!

Get off this set

before i call

security.

You shall be my wife.

Wait for me

by my secret

grain silo.

I will

join you anon.

[smack]

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha!

Fly, my pretties! Fly!

That will teach them

to mess with piggy pig,

won't it, kids?!

[kids screaming]

4 feet good.

2 feet bad.

4 feet good.

2 feet bad.

4 feet good!

2 feet bad!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha

Ooh

That'll do, pig.

That'll do.

Sorry.

Look out.

Huh! Hyah!

Ooh!

Oh, mama!

A babe!

Mercy.

Whatever.