02x10 - The King of Curtains/Margery the Duck

[bunniefuu]

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where um knows

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wow look at that surf lancelot tons and

tons of churning water just ready to

suck you down into a watery grave so are

you ready come on what are you a coward

no you're not you're bold you're brash

you're my knight in shining shell now's

your chance to get out there and be my

hero

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okay

fetch stick

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a lot did i say bottle

i said stick

is this a stick

get it right

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hey look at this a message in a bottle

it's probably my million dollars from

the sweepstakes get your paws off my

bottle

and then without a moment's hesitation

i jumped into the froggy foam and swam

as if my life depended on it which of

course it did read the message i wonder

if it's from my great uncle co-wraith

it's been over 30 years since he sat out

in that leaky boat and he did promise

faithfully to write oh maybe that's form

stephen my friend from day camp

just read the message the towering waves

loomed over me like voracious giants the

icy water cut through me like a knife

my hair was an absolute mess

and then from out of nowhere comes this

really big everything

his royal majesty soul sovereign of the

kingdom regal ruler of the far-flung

colonies protector of the protectorates

announces his crown and glory world tour

to kick off on the last tuesday of the

month

the king uh guys here on our humble

client guys let's see the last tuesday

of the month is there four minutes

wednesday

the 25th

the 23rd that's tomorrow

tomorrow but it takes weeks to ferment

pea fat guys i can't possibly make 500

yards of bunting by tomorrow you guys

just look at this bottle it's really

ancient this is obviously a very old

message and besides there's no king in

people england calm down

this is our mic we're talking about

she's a new yorker what do they know

that's so true i still say we hang

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it is with great pleasure your majesty

that i bid you welcome

well welcome

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what i'm helping

i do believe i'm ready

ready

ready

i am so ready

i do believe i hear him coming

org

seagulls

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isn't he here yet

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seagulls

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i have to go to the bathroom

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[Applause]

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no seagulls

i don't understand it the note did say

tuesday didn't it maybe he's just late

yeah by about 400 years could it be that

it's an old message hello good thinking

wendell he may just have something there

he what do you mean he well the bottle

did kind of look old

so does this mean isn't coming i'm

afraid so old girl oh dash it all and i

look so nifty ship oh

that's him no it's just more seagulls

hi there he's a king he doesn't look

like a king he's wearing a floral print

with

plaid bob johnson king of curtains at

your service

how do you guys expect anyone to find

this place i've been driving around for

days sire this is

such an honor

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that uh last bit

didn't rhyme

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is this all included

and so it is with great pleasure that we

welcome his royal majesty king bob to

our humble island paradise or you guys

run some outfit this is definitely

better than the other islands in the

atoll all you get there is a continental

breakfast and a shower cap listen i was

thinking sire after dinner i might take

you on a tour of the island eh

helicopter tour i'm there

excuse me wendell but i was thinking

that his royal majesty might want

something a tad more interesting say an

exciting wild wombat hunt oh i am sorry

my dear but i've booked his majesty for

the whole rest of the day i'm painting

his portrait for the national gallery

i've got milk and cookies back at my

cave that's milk fit for a king what

what but he's already committed to me i

don't think so my dog i know so my

darling sorry kids but but nothing guys

what's all the fuss he's not even a king

he sells curtains hey of course i'm the

king who else has enough crushed velvet

curtains to cover the entire tri-state

area hmm i had no idea the kingdom was

so vast isn't it thrilling long live the

king what's crushed velvet

and over here is marjorie and alfred's

house and over there is my house love

the shipwreck theme how'd you get to

look so real wrecked a ship say sire how

would you like a gorgeous daughter of

your very own lulucams you already have

a father remember no offense dad but it

much rather be the daughter of a king

hence princess than the daughter of a

governor hence government really i had

no idea but you must care where

opportunity takes you don't worry about

me i'll be your friend okay

i'll just live out my ears alone and

off

you'll go and be a princess great so how

about it a daughter i don't think so i

already have a german shepherd ah my

turn

no wait i'm not done yet bye dad there's

nothing like the thrill of the hunt to

make you feel alive your heart pumping

your breath quickened it's just you and

the prey a battle of witches and w*r

jungle

close now i can feel him can you feel

him

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not another word we have to be totally

silent

actually this reminds me of the time we

were hunting tigers in the punjab

beastly business the flies the heat lost

three good men that day but then we

found them again having tea in a cafe

beastly tea

you uh sure this is included in the

package

oh it is a great honor to do your

portrait and may i say you have a

remarkable nose

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and over here is my fav coconut tree

nice and over here

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we've got to do something

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who's going to read it

sorry i can't make it sincerely the king

p.s if a bob johnson shows up claiming

to be king get rid of him except no

substitutions

give me that you frog it's fraud there's

that too

well i can't thank you enough you folks

have been just great i'm definitely

recommending this place to my whole

salesforce next time i'll plan to stay

longer maybe uh finish that tour or bag

that wombat oh oh yeah and uh save some

bath milk for me

well

i think we've all learned a powerful

lesson here today

on the head sweetie family and friends

mean more than royalty no wendell if a

king shows up check his id no outfit

always have some be fat on hand and no

margery i was thinking more along the

lines of i may be from new york and i

may be new to this island but there are

times when i do know what i'm talking

about and you guys should listen to me

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it's over alfred

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where um knows

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wow

you actually got a caterpillar to play

bombs

what's next a tap dancing dog i did that

already

by careful rearrangement of certain

neural synapses i'm going to make it

possible for this duck to run a travel

agency can he book me two tickets to

manhattan for the weekend well he won't

be open for business right away there's

still some bugs in the system so be

careful what you touch here where the

shield then stand back and whatever you

do

don't look at the brain ovulator

just a minute mom i'm sorry dear but i

really need you to fix my p5 mega

renderer not now mom i'm in the middle

of an important experiment

i have so much to do make afternoon tea

prepare dinner complete a statue for

windows unveiling tomorrow

whatever you do

don't come here

what did you say there

mom

mom are you okay

mom quack quack quack oh no this can't

be happening i've turned my mother into

a duck

quick grab my mom

quack

got to hold your quack i've got to get

this helmet on her head

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i can't even catch her

look out she's right behind you grab her

i don't got it this is the worst day in

the history of modern science and your

dad's gonna be really mad

look

it's not as bad as all that it could be

worse you could have turned your mom

into uh

uh

okay

so it is that bad but we'll fix her you

think i'll watch her make sure nobody

finds out you make another brain helmet

thingy and we'll have her back in the

kitchen whipping up those bee fat pies

in no time

excuse me

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i nearly forgot i'll be a little late

for dinner tonight my dear hope it won't

be a father i'm hot on the wombats trail

and wouldn't want to put up an

opportunity like this you do understand

old girl quack quack quack

i had no idea you felt so

there well well if that's the case i i i

shall make every effort to be on time

quack quack quack margaery please i i

had no wish to offend you

can't we discuss this calmly clearly

there's been some misunderstanding quack

quack quack

oh hi alfred um have you have you seen

her what have i done

i'm always putting my foot into it talk

to her she'll listen to you tell her i'm

sorry

sorry for everything

anything only convince her to forgive me

uh

oh what marjorie of course

i'm such an insensitive lout

maybe it was something i said or

or didn't say or or something i forgot

don't you worry i'll talk to her

that's it i forgot something

an anniversary perhaps or or maybe a

birthday marjorie is

oggs

the wombats that's it she's angry

because i forgot my wombat's birthday

no

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such a glorious day for a swim and so

good for the complexion

not that you have to worry what with

your skin

how's the water

look how lovely

now about the sculpture for the

unveiling tomorrow

i've discussed it with my people and we

think that nose lies we need to go in a

slightly uh different direction it needs

to be you know a little less

nosy

excuse me quack quack quack quack well

there's no need to get snippy it's not

as if we want you to do a complete redo

we just want you to work with us on this

i give up

you try talking some sense into her tell

her whatever she decides to do i need

that sculpture by tomorrow

listen to me that course is really

working i'm getting so assertive no

okay my dream okay here marjorie time to

go back to the workshop

come on marjorie

come on don't you want to be a person

again no no no this way this way

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this is hopeless absolutely positively

hope

okay

we're almost there

it's not far i keep coming keep coming

oh no you don't this way this way the

workshop's over here you're going the

wrong way is stupid

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this is no time to get maternal much

away dear

don't come in the kitchen are you still

angry much kings emojis

no i'm making you a surprise the

surprise for me

i'm counting the minutes my sweet

no please don't burn please don't burn

hey don't get

i couldn't wait any longer

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marjorie wait i knew i should have gone

with a bigger bouquet

oh there you are oh i'm ever so sorry if

i was a little too

assertive back there it's just that i'm

beside myself with fear and trepidation

over this deadline tell me you'll be

ready by noon tomorrow nose on no nose

oh

you eat though sure she loves them uh me

i prefer the brown ones

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all right what's going on what oh no

nothing's going on nothing eh okay so

there's been a slight problem in hogs

workshop but but it's okay now we have

it all under control obviously listen we

can fix marjorie we just need a little

more time

oh i hate this

i need your help help you need my help

this is getting better and better we

need you to finish the sculpture

marjorie was working on you mean for the

unveiling yeah your dad's expecting and

it's almost finished you don't have to

do much

i hear they're expecting a big crowd

tomorrow

huge i mean over 10 people well in that

case you'll do it why not all right

uh yeah yeah good good good good yeah

same here my g

my g she was just here

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old girl but i've been doing some

reading and according to she says he

says 10 steps to marital bliss we need

help the way i see it

you can spend the next five years in

therapy or you can just give up

personally i do the letter

face it dear boy your marriage is

history

love on the rocks what what two clams

please but we've been sweethearts ever

since i couldn't remember

we truly love each other right marjorie

marjorie

marjorie

marjorie

see

audrey wait i also do divorces

and so it is with boku plasia that i

dedicate this statue to our illustrious

ancestor

joshua wendell albanquetine

look lulu kims he has a bikini top just

like you

and here is the artiste of the r

marjorie oh won't you come up and say a

few words darling

words indeed

three hundred years ago our forefathers

broke their arab ship

here

come on marjorie you're going to og's

workshop whether you want to or not

marjorie teach these kids some battles

quick fighting

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this is totally hopeless

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make sure it covers your eyes i've

tripled the power

margaery are you in there we must confab

it once i'm telling you he wore hoop

earrings just a minute

i don't want to panic you son but i

think your mother's left me

not now dad you can't hide from me

margaery you owe me two clans fine for

whatever

oh wendell i am so sorry i will get that

sculpture to you first thing in the

morning

crack wendell

quick

quack quack quack

quack quack

quack quack quack quack quack quack

quack quack quack oh

man

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do you think you could book me a one-way

ticket to anywhere simple words simple

thoughts like a spark can be caught it's

how it does

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what you make it

when you find it leave it take it

paradise is all that life can be

endless

it's over alfred

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