02x05 - Giant Steps/Night of the Living Ancestors

[bunniefuu]

where uh

knows

[Music]

and then

the big scary giant comes stomping over

the western horizon hungry and angry and

hard to appease

and it drives a hard bargain smashing

anything and everything if he's unhappy

give me a break remember three years ago

when the giant almost dropped that tree

on your head oh yeah that was quite

alarming and remember what the giant did

to your kitchen ugh it took me weeks to

clean up and remember what the giant oh

please don't remind me i simply cannot

take it oh come on there's no such thing

as giants then who tore the roof off my

workshop last year only i can stop him

unless you do exactly as i say

you will all be smashed into tiny bits

of dead toe jam

i need a volunteer

you and you

very good whitey h* oh mother yes

volunteer for what who appears the giant

of course i'll need three things you

know

i'd love to do that cause appeasing

giants is really my thing but lancelot

and i we got this uh thing over at the

uh thing and uh right lancelot

saving the islands more important well

if it's that important of course it is

i need a shell from the wagga wagga

birch egg a piece of wood from the

geysers spider and the eye tooth from

the upper door of the black shark i hate

spiders and a shark's tooth nobody said

anything about a shark's tooth come on

you haven't much time

don't worry dear lancelot will show you

where it is oh and watch your stare

don't be long

how am i gonna get a sharks too

no lancelot the ocean's that way

good idea we'll stop by oggs and pick up

some scuba gear

i want to go home to lancelot but we

have to do this job first this is very

important no matter what you do keep the

pump running

while i'm down there if i ring this bell

it means i'm in trouble and you need to

pull me up right away

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ah

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um a nice hard rock tastes good and good

for you right

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hi there looks like you're in need of a

dentist well today is your lucky day

because we're having a dental hygiene

sale one tooth extraction

totally free

now you just sit back and relax this

won't take a second

open wide nice weather we're having huh

so

what line of work are you in

you don't say eating people and stuff

like that must be uh challenging

how long have you been doing it

to pay well

oh

yeah there it is

i got it i got the sharks dude

um

would you like a lollipop

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foreign

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salt water soup again if only we had

something to thicken the

stock think our lucky stars received

lids

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our lucky stars

well that was easy what's next

giant

big a*s

now twaddle this isn't working i'm an

artist i need my tools i want my shell i

want my tooth i want my web

funny when i did it last year it only

took me five minutes

i can't be expected to work under these

conditions oh poor mike

i'm sure she's doing the best she can

nice work lancelot you found the geyser

spiders web

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i'll be right down

i'm not gonna fall see i made it safe

and sound

i eat fighters i hate spiders

we gotta get out of here

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[Applause]

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lancelot you're the man you are so brave

the way you took on that spider it

didn't even have a chance

me

nah you

you're a man

okay all right it was both of us

we were amazing

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mommy

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okay last on the list

seriously lancelot how hard can it be to

get an eggshell from a bird as silly as

the wagga wagga

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oh look

it's so ugly that it's kind of cute

okay cute little guy we'll just take a

piece of your shell since you're not

gonna use it anymore whoa

don't strain yourself helping me

lancelot

great this thing really bites me

all right little monstrosity i'm gonna

set you down and leave you alone and

you're gonna leave us alone okay

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i couldn't agree more

you know it's birds like you that give

birds like you a bad name

come on let's get out of here

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hey everybody we got the stuff hello

anybody home

man lancelot this village is eerily

silent where do you think everybody went

hello

anybody

we scored we did it

lancelot and i are the kings of the

world that dumb old giant better watch

out when he gets here i hope that isn't

what i think it is

i mean

giants don't exist do they

hold it hold it hold everything what the

heck is this

you're the giant of course i am you've

got a problem with that yeah i got a

problem with that you said that a big

scary giant was coming well no no no

dear in actuality there is no real giant

it's a it's a metabolical statement

metaphorical

yeah that too but we went to a lot of

trouble to get you this stuff to appease

the giants

gotta be kidding what what's the deal

you said to go and collect the necessary

items you see old girl we did say that

but we simply wanted you to go and get

the box there in second shelf on the

bottom

you mean you know about the box the

whole time why don't you say something

you see the giant represents the coming

rainy season and the tooth represents

the food that grows when it rains and

the web represents being stuck at home

enjoying all those downpours and the

eggshells represent what you have to

walk upon when everyone has been cooped

up inside for so long

yeah great but i wonder what it

represents for them

you didn't expect a happy ending did you

baby

the problems of youth are too numerous

by half but as you get older and start

getting bolder you'll find that your

problems get decidedly fine i don't

laugh

i'm always

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but i'm not dead yet

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where uh

knows

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so

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turn that down

oh sorry i'll turn it down

i said turn it down

gee

sorry

i can barely hear it

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i said turn that infernal racket down

gets to a man can't hear his own ear

mites

i can't take it anymore and won't take

it anymore there are too many conflamed

visitors on this island i'm the only

visitor well pack your bags

what's wrong what's happening what's got

quick syrup set oh he's always upset no

but he sounds upset upset that is not

good what's he gonna do like take a nap

well once when he got upset upset he

made it rain very hard another time he

changed lancelot into a rutabaga and

once he called up the spirits of our

ancestors

yeah right

like that's scary

double trouble noises

stomach churn and spitters

lunches

it worked

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what's wrong dear

someone's under the bed

you were sure

i guess not but i could have sworn

oh well

[Applause]

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what's all the noise you wouldn't

believe what just happened one minute

i'm sleeping and bam the next minute i'm

a clamshell poltergeists polter what's

this invisible spirits that move

things um ghosts come on odd boy there's

no such thing as ghosts then what's that

a giant squid got caught in my match i

don't know

she's in for a rough night

i don't believe in ghosts i don't

believe in ghosts i don't believe in

ghosts

i do believe in ghosts i don't believe

in god i do believe in god

we

want you

to drat albert how many times do i have

to say it keep your hands to yourself it

can't help it things just keep falling

off oh it's usually gonna ruin the whole

thing throw us all off now we're gonna

have to start all over again

wait wait i've almost got it oh double

drat um

guys

hang on a second

they call it tape one of the great

inventions of the 20th century

fascinating look it's very nice to meet

you and uh you can keep the tape okay oh

thank you so much but it's late and i

wonder if i could just go to sleep now

yes indeed of course oh yes yes

yes of course not that i need much sleep

myself what was being dead and all

[Applause]

where's mike i wonder if she's all white

i wonder if those dreadful ghosts are

gone i hope so

can you believe it we'll see through

ghosts oops uh time for me to be on the

trail me too see ya

alfred og

and they'll be staying for how long oh

we can't leave until our job is done

we're supposed to drive this one off the

island does if we would do such a thing

could take years you know uh yes are you

cooking or just boiling your socks

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it's just a hunting method of change

since you were here no self-respecting

grand son of mine is going to hunt with

rubber tiptoes

oh crumbs

what are you doing are you completely

out of your mind no well at least i

don't think so incoming documents always

come into the right hand corner of the

table always it is the law

i rescinded that law and i always put

incoming papiers on the left corner of

the desk

right no wrong

leg is the correct corner i know what

i'm doing

wrong is right

left

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and the proper way to tear a paper is

vertically

horizontal

vertical horizontal

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it's 27 grams of uranium-238

the uranium should be ground to a

consistency of about 12 parts per

million

fine but not so fine is to operate the

granular nature entirely it must be i

mean okay

oh excellent

now pour the powder slowly into the

solution taking care not to disturb its

contents

it was horrible lancelot a nightmare i

dreamed the island was crawling with

really old smelly decrepit ghosts and

worst of all my awful aunt lulu was one

of them you're lucky you never met her

the self-centered old hag all she ever

did was get in her own way get off that

towel and give an old woman some room

you selfish

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oh and while you're up make some

lemonade what are you gogging at

make a pillow for your auntie lulu

hey

get back here you little in great

the feud started july 27

1778. actually it was the 26th well i

believe it was the 28th year may i

continue i wonder of course run along go

ahead thank you

early one morning

uh-uh it was afternoon evening the

senior mr castlewitz was out in a

leisurely stroll

respect he was doing no such thing

remember practically dawdling look

i am trying to write a solitary

intellectual pursuit couldn't agree more

absolutely don't you do have somewhere

else to go

no no actually we don't

and if you don't stand up straight how

can you end up all hunched over one year

old i am old

please i would love to

yes

but i can't

no

they came here to get rid of mike and

she's the only one that can get rid of

them then you've got to go to mike and

get her to do it me

you

but i'm ricky here

her

or him take your pick

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yes

mike

we

that is to say the others and i

we

together not just i

they have a problem yeah yes

and

i need your help excuse me i need your

help you need my help oh

why creaks i'd be more than happy to

help how can i help

you i need help getting these molding

old bone bags back where they belong no

problem no problem nope they're ready to

depart or ascend or dematerialize or

whatever it is that goes through i said

it's a mystique yes why what about the

spell well mike has given us some very

good advice she lost us for an eternity

yes she told us to stop

stop

yes whenever we're about to go all

bickery we just

stop truly a revolutionary concept yes

and i'm taking these newfangled theories

with me

i don't want to stay around you anyway

all hunched over and shriveled up you're

crankier than a rhinoceros with a head

comb

let's get out of here crank it up

thanks for the yo-yo

oh thank you mike yes without your

newfangled advice and the marvy music

we'd be stuck with a living nightmare

all right all right keep the noise down

i'm going back to my cave are they gone

yet

phew i thought it would never end

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you think you got problems try being old

the problems of youth are too numerous

by half but as you get older and start

getting bolder you'll find that your

problems get decidedly fine i don't

laugh

i'm

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[Applause]

i'm not always yet

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