01x08 - Scopin' It Out/The Good Ship Bad

[bunniefuu]

Where nobody knows,

ain't no burger stand, ain't no just

go back on the island where

nobody goes.

Shake your body. Shake your body.

Shake your body time during your keep.

Lance a lot on three, jump three,

I said jump, not flail like a wounded

chicken. Don't cry.

What do you want me to do? Bring the

stump closer?

Fine. Hey Aug,

I'm busy. Why don't you just get closer

to the stomp?I am a

Princess. Hey, give me

that. That's not a toy. That's a very

important piece of training equipment.

Are you listening to me? Give me that.

Sheesh, you're losing it. The royal

person is just trying to accomplish

something that is beyond your

limited, unroyal mind. If you're trying

to be a royal pain in the butt, you're

there. Look, I'm training Lancelot how to

jump through this hoop.

What Lancelot?Where'd

he go?

Lanceloto, Lancelot.

Come back to me,

boy, You try and help someone get ahead

in life and this is what happens. There's

nothing worse than ungrateful subjects.

That's the price of being a beloved

leader.

They're all the scientific endeavour is

pitted with the potholes of

disappointment. Where do you think

Lancelot went? Well, where would you go

if you were a turtle? As far away from

you as possible? Cliques is Oracle can

find him. It is all knowing.

We have a web for that charlatan.

What's this? More people with nothing

better to do than harass an old man while

he works? Allow me to introduce myself.

Yolo. Now scram. How

did he know my name? He lives here. You

get to know your neighbors when there's

only six of them. Let me know when the

world's going to

end. The Oracle or I'll never see my

beloved turtle again. There's too

many people and they're all bothering me.

Don't burn it,

burn it. I'm here to ask the Oracle a

very important question and I'm not

leaving till I do.

I didn't talk about it.

So a man can't even put his fingers in

his own ears. Too many other

people. They'll beg you good for

nothing. Lazy. All right, You

win whatever it is you want.

But there's a condition. What?

Tell me I want that new vanguard thingy

machine but.

What's up? Hand over your headphones? No

way, sorry. Deals done.

Hey.

What's the second hand smoke buddy?

I see a turtle,

yes, brown in color,

yes. With with the

head and three, no, four

legs. That's my little eye.

Is he all right? You are not

serious. That's the description.

Perfectly. Oh, great, Oracle. Tell

me more. He is well

fed. Happy Oh

please refund.

And you shall find him under the third

step behind the landing at Marjorie's

back door. OK,

last one caught my attention.

You are not native to this island.

Insightful. Yesterday you

ate lunch. The man's a genius.

Marjorie's cabbage soup. It was

without carrots. You don't like them.

And then you went swimming with Algonlou.

Don't you children know to wait 30

minutes? Wow. How'd you know that? Hold

your horses. There's more.

Yes, your future.

The next time faith brings you to visit

the Oracle, you shall wait in a very

long line. That's it. Go away.

Leave me in peace. What about my

headphones?

Oh my precious baby, I found you

at last. Why,

hello there, Lou. Come from a spot of

tea. No, Lancelot was lost.

And through quicks. I've spoken with the

gods. The Oracle told me

where Lancelot was.

Splendid. Perhaps he knows the answer to

the eternal question. How to make a three

inch meringue. He knows everything.

You know, I've been thinking

there's no way that old guy could tell

the future. There's got to be a catch.

And he's got my headphones. Everyone's

treating him like he's got a Direct Line

to the universal truth. He's just an old

guy with a turban around his hips.

You don't believe me? I'll prove it. All

I need is an Action Guy Action Pack. Not

the one from issue 28. The one from issue

231.

Irritant bio flux proton heat shield

fits in with my current work.

Did you leave that part out?

Go ahead, put it on. I can't. It's

huge. It's supposed to go on your back.

Action guys went on his back. According

to Baldwin's law, objects are larger,

heavier and much more cumbersome than

they appear in comics.

It's impossible here. Let me turn it

on.

They thought you were going to leave that

part out.

Let's see. Wow,

infrared sensor.

Gotcha. Kiss your evil Oracle empire

goodbye. Oops, Barcelona. How's

this thing work?

Not that button. Where's the manual for

this?Come

again? Where's Action Guy? How I've been

kidnapped by a backpack.

Let me go, put me down. There's got to be

in the chat button here somewhere.

Keep your dental hygiene yourself.

Finally.

Interesting. He said it again.

He was sure he

was. Let's see what's

behind curtain number one.

I knew it well. I should have known it.

Lancelot, get away

from there, you delinquent. You're a

fake. I told you children to keep away

from here. I did. And they Oracle told

you to to. There's no Oracle, just an old

man with a telescope. The Oracle has

spoken. People aren't dumb, you know.

Yes, they are. Well, maybe some. But when

they find out you're a hoax, they're

going to come after you. As the Oracle

foretold, there will be a very long

line around the mountain next time you

visit. But this is the next time. This

time doesn't count. It wasn't a visit, it

was as we and as and

so then the Oracle declared that

Lancelot, who had consumed exactly 3

lettuce leaves and had a slight

bellyache, would be found sleeping under

my third step. And there he was. It

was truly otherworldly. He just

looks through a telescope. The

turtle was impossible to find hidden in a

cave behind her secret sliding door.

But the all knowing eye of the Oracle

peers through the walls of solid rock and

revealed his exact location. I'm trying

to tell you the all knowing eye was

looking through a telescope.

Oh my, do you suppose he knows the what

about to my collar button? I know I

haven't a collar, but I used to have a

button. And then the

Oracle descended from the heavens in a

fiery chariot drawn by 7

silver whales and ripped the mountain

asunder. Snatching the turtle from the

jaws of imminent death

brought a tear to my eye. It's just an

old guy with a telescope.

He's lost, disappeared.

I did everything you said. I gave him a

big hug and told him he was doing great

just before I boxed his ears. And now

he's gone. I'll never find

him the Oracle. Not again.

Oh wait, I'm working.

Free and powerful. Article

3. And powerful.

Wow, he was right. He's magical, he's

mystical, he's all knowing. No,

but he did predict there'd be a line

around the mountain when I came back.

Which leads me to believe one thing. That

oracles are the real deal. No, that

people are stupid.

Shut up. It's OK. Whoa.

And an enemy the Order act on the Aria.

It's got no skeletons. Truly

disgusting.

Yuck.

Let's make a deal. From now on, the only

skeleton list thing I touch is fruit. OK,

maybe boneless chicken.

What did I just say? Afraid of an

octopus? They're harmless.

You know the problem with?Water around

here, is it so natural it's crawling with

stuff. I mean, water is supposed to come

out of a bottle. Why would anybody want

to live in a place where water's in a

bottle? At least there's nothing living

in it.

What's that?Iraq ship. Oh,

that clarifies it on Pirates

chased our ancestors ship. They both

crashed on the rocks. That's what's left

of the pirate's ship. Let's go check it

out, see if we can find some flats. And

there's nothing out there. Come on, let's

go take a look. I know how to roll

anyway. There might be treasure. Oh,

yeah, right.

This is not the best idea. What do you

mean the wind in your hair? The salt

spray? This is just like the Great

Outdoors channel but without the

commercials. I thought you hated this

water. It's fine as long as I don't have

to touch it. I'm bored. Can we

go back? We haven't even gotten there.

But times change. In a regular,

predictable cycle pulled and pushed by

the moon's gravitational pull. Would you

stop it with the doctor? Science stuff?

I'm just saying this is not the

best idea. OK, OK. I'll

bite. Why is this not the best idea?

We could have walked. Oh, I'm

still bored.

Could use more than just a coat of paint.

Hold this while I climb aboard. What's in

this smelly bag? Surveying

instruments. This wreck should becharted.

Where's my stuff? It fell over.

OK, where's the treasure? Does

the wood?Thanks mean anything to you.

As in treasure hunt, No. How

about go find it yourself hunt?

Hey, there's a lot of junk down there.

Wow, Vintage action

Colican, complete with snap win contest

rules and important disclaimer about how

no one can win. It's at least two years

old. Wow, a

useless disaccording across the grass,

this needle still works.

Pirates map a treasure.

Yay Lil what? We're going to

go back. Well, I'm going to stay here and

soak up some.

History. Yeah, that's it. History. You

know how I love history?

Dates, facts, that sort of thing. Oh, I

thought you were bored. Well, I didn't

realize how much rotted

wood and other stuff there was.

You go ahead. I'll just walk back.

I don't think that's the best idea. I'll

go on. Just go ahead. I'll be fine.

Really, really, I will

just go ahead. Just go

on. Go

OK.

Suckers straight

ahead then, right?

Left over to this

thing. Across

here, right, left,

right, up the stairs,

down the stairs.

There must be some kind of secret passage

down here.

I can almost smell the treasure.

Maybe not.

According to the map, this is it. I can

hardly wait. Gold bullion, pieces of

eight pearls, A Pretty Little tiara.

Let's see. There should be two

identical. Nails.

So why wasn't it the best?Idea for us to

leave the royal pain in the butt. I mean,

we're here and she's there.

Well, the tide has come in and she's

stuck there.

And that's a bad thing.

Get away from my treasure, Otto Skunk.

I got dipsies. I saw it first.

At last it's mine.

Go find your own treasure.

Look, I'm warning you. Don't push me.

Somebody has. Let's a

lot help.

Help The royal personage is in danger.

I guess we had a saver. And be the right

thing. Funny, I usually enjoy doing the

right thing.

I could use some device. Tonight,

intervention here.

Hi, get off of me.

Greetings poor people who didn't find any

treasure. Someone

you know?

Hey, I'm Harvin anyway. 1.

I got it, I got it. The treasure is mine.

All mine looks like a mailbox with a bad

case of eczema.

So go on, open it.

Captain's property. Whosoever touches

this chest will have his hands chopped

off, be hanged, keel hauled and

otherwise made uncomfortable.

I can hardly wait to see my gold bullion,

gaudy jewels, a new crowd.

Some buttons, well,

that was worth the effort.

Oh, that's slimy octopus. He stole my

treasure.

Well, look on the bright side, we can

give you a grass skirt. A whole new look.

No suction cups. See Slug of a

monster is going to pull one over on

me. Yeah,

well, these treasure things are never

what they cracked up to be. And think of

the taxes you won't have to pay.

Mortgage loan ain't no hair salons

ain't no shading loans ain't. No. Ice

cream cones ain't. No. Free coupons

ain't. No. Silicones ain't no Parmesan

ain't. These those paint no microphones

ain't no flight. Trampolines ain't no

carry on.

When

everybody goes on the island where nobody

goes.