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01x12 - A Bicycle Built for Me/Crowded House

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Mike, Lu & Og". Aired: November 12, 1999 – May 27, 2001.*
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Series follows a foreign exchange student from Manhattan named Mike, a self-appointed island princess named Lu, and a boy-genius named Og.

01x12 - A Bicycle Built for Me/Crowded House

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

where uh

knows

[Music]

bested by the wily wombat i rather think

not

[Music]

oh a princesses tasks are never done see

how i have to lay out here all afternoon

and later if i'm not careful i may even

have to take a nap

lancelot you're getting sand on the

royal towel

[Music]

look out watch where hey do i look like

a racetrack what does it take to get a

little peace and quiet around here

tell the island i don't wish to be

disturbed

this seat taken sorry not without a

reservation come on let me share your

shame i don't share what's in it for me

well for starters you can make someone

else happy i said for me me me me is

that all you think about of course what

else is there sharing isn't half bad you

ought to try it you'll see i'm happy i'm

gonna make you happy it's kind of like

giving a gift to yourself well good then

i'll just share with myself that way

i'll get two gifts

wow

my bicycle

it's even my favorite color i had to

know oh i can guess sorry it took so

long you said you wanted a 10 speed but

i took the liberty of making it 27. oh

watch out for gear 26. it's got an ion

fuel rocket boost

that dastardly creature is so nimble if

only i were a little faster what you

need is a bike like mine something to

give you an extra edge what exactly does

it do gets you from here to there fast

how fast i clocked it at 75 kilometers

against a 39 head wind on a 60 degree

incline my that is fast well since

you'll put it that way

wait i said a bike like mine as in

similar to this one is actually mine

well if you insist i'll forget to give

it a try

i just got it and i haven't even ridden

it once and you were saying about the

gift of sharing sherry you know making

other people happy so you'll be happy

okay okay

first you throw your leg over the seat

whitey h*

all set uh alfred

oh crikey

[Music]

of course i knew that now put your hands

on the handlebars handlebars right good

now put your feet up and away you go

feet up and away

got to push the pedals push

silly

hands on bar

feet on pedals and pedals that's right

i've got it i'm definitely got it watch

out for gear 26 it's got an eye on

rocket boost what's that i don't know

he's finally got the hang of it

that is the silliest contraption i ever

saw glad you think so cause you're not

riding it i wouldn't get on that thing

in a million years it's just like

snowing

on that thing

[Music]

he's gonna wear out the wheels on my

bicycle

will you stop staring and do something

[Music]

you wanna hog it all oh

to be blown off again give up the nose

wombat you're no match for the wheels of

12 wares

oh could be tricky

i can't believe i was born to do

[Applause]

believe it was this castle witch that

started the few not the old bunker teams

yes that's right that's right

the right honourable martin cozzlewood

took offense at the wage of a diabolic

teen wolf

oh yeah i can't believe i've eaten our

last toffee

how am i ever going to finish this and

maintain my girlish figure i've got to

get some exercise

hi honey

i'm home what for dinner you're circling

in it

[Music]

oh mike i can write an exercise at the

same time you make me so happy and that

makes me happy could you hand me a

toffee these guys really burn me up

everybody gets a turn on that stupid

bicycle but me i suppose i could just

sit here and pout

or

i could get up

and do something about it

what

you know how much i liked about i'm

telling you they're after me everywhere

i go there they are constantly falling

like monstrous hailstones just waiting

till i least suspect so they can

surround me and do their worst they're

coconuts a fruit what could they

possibly have against you ask them oh

man you are the only way i'll survive is

to be faster than they are i've got to

be more than a coconut i've got to be

more cokery more nastier you don't say

oh whatever shall i do well if i were

you yes yes i'd forget this whole

business and don't have a nap that's it

that's your sage advice but

since i'm not you thank goodness here

drink this

oh repeat after me i don't care about

coconuts but i do care about coconuts

you wanted a minute

you could i am with a nose like that

you've got far greater problems than

falling coconuts this is what bike

riding's all about the wind in your hair

the sun on your back the scenery

whizzing by as you rush down a mountain

trail looking forward to the inevitable

wipeout when you eat dirt and scrape the

skin off your knees doesn't that sound

like fun fascinating really indeed the

cover bits burned the wig and it was

never found but you could actually go

somewhere somewhere real real close then

you could turn around and come right

back again and that would be the end of

your turn the whole thing might take two

maybe three minutes five at the most

what do you say could you hand me

another toffee lancelot like it or not

there are some times when you just have

to take matters into your own hands

you're so kind to share your bicycle

with me you mean my brand new never been

ridden by me bicycle you don't mind do

you oh no

i love

sharing oh me too

it's like giving a gift to yourself

the gift that keeps on giving and giving

and so how long do you think you'll need

it well just until i finish this top

chapter

i just don't feel i'm getting the

exercise i'm sure how do you make it go

faster shift gears

but watch out for gear 26 it's got an

ion rocket boost what's that you know

i've been wondering about that let's

find out

wow

so that's an ion rocket boost dibs on

the bike

with a nose like this the coconuts can't

miss

i'm a sitting duck with a beastly

beak

my bike my turn hey it's my turn it's my

bike

i have dips

[Music]

have you ever heard of the gift of

sparring

[Music]

is

[Music]

oh no

my nightmare come true

[Music]

we did it we made it i'm alive

yeah

watch where you're driving

[Music]

so lovely to see them playing together i

do hope they are careful with that

[Music]

crash test

should yield up some interesting data

finally

my turn to ride my

handlebars

come on you're hogging it move over

forget it you move over you're way over

on my side haven't you learned anything

about sharing

you make me happy it'll make you happy

here you can have it all

you're right it does make me happy

i think about the one bed constantly

it's gone so i can't sleep or eat or

even make small talk about fellow

dusters and mint i'm a man obsessed just

drink it

what have you done

you're a genius with a nose like this

i'll be a proverbial bloodhound that one

that is mine i

[Music]

[Music]

ain't no silicone ain't no parmesan

ain't no kidney stones ain't no

microphones ain't no slideshows ain't no

carry-on

[Music]

go

[Music]

where uh

knows

[Music]

oh whew

[Music]

[Music]

knocks down a three-pointer to win it at

the buzzer fascinating you threw a

coconut through a hoop whoopee you know

i love basketball

but there's something missing from this

game excitement fun a reason to play

people well what do you call me no i

mean fans make a play like that there

should be 10 000 people on their feet

screaming

why not

i'm talking about a crowd what about us

you're always saying three's a crowd i

mean a real craft like getting stuck on

an elevator with 17 sweaty people

getting into a shouting match over

cutting in line elbowing your way into

the merry-go-round in central park

crowds that's what this island needs

crowds crowds crowds why would you want

thousands of people when you've got moi

thousands of reasons

hello

he's got that familiar faraway look in

his eye well i didn't ask him to make

anything

what's that

that my friends is a cruise ship people

a crowd all we gotta do is figure out a

way to attract their attention

[Music]

a signal light let me give you a signal

this is a bad idea actually it's a

variable particle accelerator powered by

the rapid colliding of matter and

anti-matter set to full power i could

point this baby at the dark side of the

moon and there would be no dark side

sounds a little overkill i mean we're

trying to attract a ship not vaporizing

don't worry i'm only setting it on two

great crowd love you people the ships

had full

i can hardly wait do you think you'll

recognize any of them i'll recognize

them all they're

my people

pure bliss

[Music]

rocket

[Applause]

[Music]

where are we the end of the world as i

knew it

[Music]

excuse me oh

look at i don't mean to bother you but i

don't have a whole lot of time i'm

looking for some local color is there

anyone who hunts on this island well it

is your proficient day

you are looking at alfred i am the

hunter

ah just watch my style what

i hate this job

i do believe it's done

it's been 17 long years of hard

backbreaking work but finally it's done

and here we have a fine example of

beautiful native artistry

[Music]

don't do this and that no no no no no no

don't do this

no

[Music]

indeed

[Music]

density ratio 22.1 humans per cubic yard

interconnected contact rate one for 8.6

seconds

[Music]

big guy

put me down come on princess have some

fun listen up

left hand up front and pop

uh

hop on one foot

stop and twirl

six subjects is all right but this is

real power today a conga line tomorrow

the world you will leave my island and

take this infernal noise with you and

here we have a prime example quiet i

said why yes the ceremonial dance fine

example of the indigenous sculpture say

hello to jj get away from me come on

just say it

why thank you so much you know i think

it is something that will last forever

how much for just the nose

[Music]

hey get out of my spot what are you

talking about this is my spot not

anymore

you know

i sort of forgot how jerky a jerk

[Music]

and on your left there is an actual

native hunter haunted

look fierce

wombat speak to me not the shoddy

costume grotesquely large nose and

charmingly crude hunting

apparatus look what you've done to my

wombat you scound all your beasts

all right then moving right along we're

walking we're walking over here on the

right you'll notice a prime example of

an indigenous

he was like a brother he didn't look

much like me but still

[Music]

oh

[Music]

and here we have a typical native family

unit mother kid in curiously modern

clothing and uh very cranky old geezer

i'll give you giza how much for the cane

stop that they are not for sale i'll

take the hair get your hands off me all

of you

say hello new jersey can i keep a mom

kelly huh i promise i'll feed him i

promise oh just what he needs another

native you haven't even played with the

one you got in barabara

dad

all right but this is the last one who

are these people savages yeah savages i

tell you

this is a disaster

okay are you counting queens

[Applause]

[Music]

shake your head

wrap your arms like a chicken

now pay at the moon

i think i have an idea

[Music]

here's the person in front of you

hey

get back here

[Music]

where are you going

you can't leave me

perfect i did it

chuck went up for the kid from the night

well doc jolly good

do something plants a lot lancelot

lancelot i must be desperate i'm calling

a turtle for help

[Music]

i've got an idea

[Music]

mike

[Music]

[Music]

not that much wow

saved by a turtle your crowd stink that

wasn't a crowd that was a mob what's the

difference mobs stink

sharp double double

[Music]

love you people ready try the meal i'm

here every friday great audience good

night everybody

where'd

[Music]

[Music]

ain't no kidney stones ain't no

microphones ain't no slight trampoline

ain't no carry-on

[Music]

on the island

[Music]