01x06 - Whole Lotta Shakin/The Mother of All Marathons

[bunniefuu]

When a bodyguard.

It's the nylon

where nobody knows.

Ain't no burger stand, ain't no just go

back on the island where

nobody goes.

Behold the. Palace of Al

Banquetine, a palace fit for a

Princess. Looks like a big lump to me.

Are you kidding? There's a Moat, a

drawbridge, 7 Spires and a

guillotine for people who don't like my

castle. What's that?

Manhattan? Looks like a

big lump? What are you talking about?

I've got the Empire State Building over

here and the Twin Towers and right in the

middle of Central Park, complete with

little trees, the lake, Zoo and the

mugger. What's with him? No,

he's just saying that my castle's better

than your dumb city. Just look at the

throne room. There's no throne room? Oh,

sure there is. Right through this window.

Observe the golden chandeliers. Hey,

careful. You almost crushed my peasant

village. Quit

fidgeting.

Looks like he's trying to Oh, he's just

being weird. He does that all the time.

One word, 3 syllables. First

syllable sounds like round

cabbage bounce. I know. Castle ball

sounds like ball.

This ones easy old man queks pointing

can't told you.

No ball cane,

no ball keen. No,

that's dumb ball.

Gain no

volcano cool.

Go away. You can't just see I'm busy.

Nothing makes the blood pours through the

veins like nature. Clearing her throat

sounds like an Aria to me,

music to my ears.

It's been almost a year.

You might. We're being attacked.

Someone has to sit. The island?

Someone else. Wait,

it's Mount Henry, a rake at last.

Gorgeous.

Dust, heat, people being entombed in tons

of lava. We gotta get out of here. I'm

too young to die. I haven't even seen a

peachy movie. We got to get up there.

What? You haven't lived till you've tried

lava? Fried coconuts? Fried coconuts.

Oh, goody fried coconuts.

Are you coming? The closest I want to get

to a volcano is a fourth grade science

project. Stop

whining, it's completely harmless.

And.

A weekend at the spa, Facial

and body wrap. I don't care what anyone

says, I'm worth it.

Did you bring the cucumbers?

Here, go mad.

This is living, anyone

for tea, Freshly baked scones

and clotted cream, You devil

you.

Pain in my legs, pain in my hips. I got

pain in parts of my body that don't even.

Don't burn them like. Like the last time,

I hate it when they're burnt. Don't

worry, this is a whole new mechanism.

Extremely sensitive to heat fluctuations

and pressure drops.

Excuse me, but I. I

told you, coconut for brains. Our

volcanoes are not like your

volcanoes. Besides, I'm a

royal Princess and I rule

everything, even

volcanoes. I feel so

much safer.

I feel spoiled. Downright spoiled.

Let's never leave. I feel like Jelly.

Touch me, Do I feel like Jelly?

Tea is served.



pretty. I can run, I can skip. I'm

spray as I'm funny. Hide

and seek Alfred, catch me if you

can. He.

I wonder if he's cooked yet. If he burned

those coconuts, he can just stay down

there. What? What is

it? Lancelot's not here. Oh,

great. What am I gonna sit on?

Needs a little more heat.

I'm hot. Hungry. We might have a bigger

problem than dinner.

Oh, perfect.

Hey, watch it. We got to get out of here.

Don't tell me you don't have my coconut.

Well, the temperature is reaching over

700 Kelvin and lava rising at the rate of

6 feet per second. I suggest we get out

of here.

Wendy. Have you noticed a rise in the

temperature?Yes, and it's

heavenly. Hey, quit playing in the mud.

Time's up. OK, Put my wrinkles, my

Cellulite, my varicose veins.

Come on, there's no time to lose. Hey, my

little boy, I'm paying. I'm climbing a

tree.

I'm old, I can't run. Someone saves me.

What about me? I can't walk on covered in

mad. What if someone sees me mad?

Come on.

They're beastly hot, like being in the

Sahara but without the chiggers.

I seem to be surrounded by

molten block.

Everybody, this is.

Save me.

What on earth is that horrible noise?

Sounds like a turtle in trouble.

Sounds like a volcano erupting if you ask

me.

Ladies and gentlemen, we jump.

This is melted lock. This is

not good. This is the end of my career as

a Princess. I'm doomed and it's all

your

fault.

She's frying my hair. Look at it. It's

going all frizzy. This is the last time I

interrupt my work for a volcano.

What is he trying to say? What is it,

boy? Little Timmy's caught in the well.

I think Lou is stuck out there. And along

with all the others. We've got to save

them. Let's go.

This way.

But I'm saved. Where

are you going?

Be careful. One false step

and I'm fried.

No, no, no.

The hero. Thank you, thank you, thank

you, Thank you. What

took you so long?

I just don't know what to say. I'd say

nature did rather more than clear her

throat.

Cost us up and spit us out.

Tell me when it's over. Thank you so very

much indeed.

Thanks. Makes you wonder about

life's fragile nature, about a place

where the animals are smarter than the

people.

Just hold it steady. That's right,

Daddy. Look at me. Look at me.

I'm the island's greatest cop. Goodnight

Balancer, let go now.

You ruined my trick. You got. Sand on my

issue 23. I was only balancing the hugest

coconut ever grown on this one slender

and quite lovely finger, that's all.

Well, but you can't bounce too.

Easy, a well trained dog could do it.

Give me those. Get ready to learn how to

lose.

First one to the coconut.

OK, ready. Set. Go.

Hey, no cheating. You won the race,

but you know why?Yeah, Princess, I won

because even though you cheated, I ran

faster. I'll tell you why. Because the

race was too short. Too short.

What I need is room. You want room?

I'll give you room. How about a race from

here to the ocean? Easy.

Alrighty. How about a race around the

whole island? A marathon. What's a

marathon? Always so long you'll never

finish. No erase. So long I'm going to

win and you're not. You're on. You want a

marathon? You've got it.

What's with this training? But you're not

going anywhere. If you want to win, kid,

you got to train. Even though an inner

voice is saying stop you idiot, Even

though you know it's stupid and painful

and even though you're bored silly.

Doesn't make sense. No pain, no

gain. I'll skip the pain, thank

you. See ya. She's a weird

girl.

Hi. Why are you running? Getting ready

for the marathon?You should run. You

could get a good view of my back as I

break out, pulling decisively away from

the rest of the pack. The

marathon. The first truly noble race.

Who won? The Greeks. All of them? No,

Just one. And when he finished, he died.

Sounds dreadful? Perhaps. But as the

Greeks go, so go I

Athens, here we come.

Hi, Dad, Jolly

good. Chasing the wombat, dear boy.

Accepting the baton of familial duty and

all that. Good shell? No, not

really. Training for the marathon.

Marathon.

Sounds like just the thing.

What are you doing in here?

I will not allow animals

domestically otherwise in my kitchen.

Go away before I get all the recipe for

fricassee. Looking

very good, my dear. What was your jolly

good form? You're a sure winner. Why,

thank you. I've worked the

marathon. Greek sort of thing. Endless

running. Horrible ordeal coming up

tomorrow. I've been training myself, but

I'd say you're a winner. Like to the

Zephyr. Quick as a gerbil and looking

fresher than Sunday's breakfast chasing

chickens. I feel more like Wednesday's

leftover bit of training. All it needs,

my old girl, and you're the winner. See

if I'm not right.

What? What is it? It's marathon.

No, not a marathon. You know I don't run

and I don't sweat. You could lose a pound

or two. You noticed if those dreaded

cocoa nuts. You'll be missing the event

of the season. Everyone will be there.

Fair exercise. I simply

loathe it.

And soon I can add the title of.

Marathon winner to the already extensive

list of my accomplishments. You may fan

me. What's

this all about? Where's everybody going?

It's called training. It's what winners

do. Nothing like it. Come

on along. I think I'm hitting the

wall. Am I slim? Training. Training.

What's with all this training? It's

winning. That's important. How are we

going to win? Oh, isn't that

sweet? You want to be in the race too?

OK, but there is just one tiny, itsy

bitsy little problem. You're a

turtle.

What are you doing figuring the exact

balance between muscle and motion? What?

All I need to do is find the value of F

no? Why are you running?Planning on this

thing Secret technological weapon

virtually does the training for you. It's

how I'm going to win the marathon.

Excuse me, got to check something with

the goat, right? What's this thing

do? I'm trying to win the event of a

lifetime and he's checking with a goat.

Get me off of this thing. Help. Help

Lance a lot Help.

Thanks, Lance. Thanks for the help.

Alrighty people. Skip this over with

runners to your marks. Ready. Oh

no, no, wait. Ready. No, no, I'm not.

Which food do I start with? It doesn't

matter. Just pick one set.

Left, right, left. I can't get too many

choices. Pick the one on the ground.

I don't know,

whatever.

Look at me. I'm winning. I'm winning.

Yeah. Hey, what's going on?

Looks like you've reached your stride and

I'm passing it. I'm just warming up.

This hurts. It

hurts, just as I feared it. Sweats. Reach

for the stars window. I can see those

phones pelting off left, right, left,

right. Lift those knees.

Let's wear the gear.

Electrolytes must associate positive

and negative ions. Yeah, right.

That move your feet up.

I'm

winning, I'm winning.

Out.

Giddy up, I said.

Hey little piggyback. Yay, I'm

winning again.

Giddy up, stupid pig.

You can't run any better than that. You'd

be better off as bacon. I really don't

like that child.

Oh, I must have lost at least 3 lbs by

now. Call me Daddy.

I'm short, I said. Call me.

I'm spent. A coconut or two would sure

hit the spot, or 9 or 10. Great.

Thanks a lot, Dad. Now what do I do?

Are you all right, dear? You're turning

an extraordinary shade of purple

mold and ash. I'm fine. Good

for another 20 miles.

Just taking a breath. Probably preferable

to a massive coronary.

Sometimes you just gotta do a thing

yourself.

Out of fuel so lose the tank and I could

use a chair back here. Make that a

throne. Can't go on.

Can't make it. And I'll find someone

who can. Hey, what

are you doing? Get off of me, parasite.

Good cheat. I'm not cheating. I'm

winning. You put the loo in, loser. Watch

where you're going. Hey, look out. You're

going to hit that.

What did you do that for? I was winning.

I was winning until you had to make like

a blindfold or not. All I had to

do was jump from your back when we got to

the finish line and I'd have had it. I

tell you, I had that British right in the

palm of my royal hand. Only thing you had

in your Royal Palm was my eye, you loser,

loser, my foot, foot, my eye, loser,

loser, loser.

What?

Lancelot. Oh great beat by a

turtle.

Just goes to show you can win if you're

slow and steady. Stand off ground and

never say die.

That's nice, dear. Now it just

goes to show you can win if you don't

have something bad on your back, covering

your eyes and making you run into a tree.

I'm going back to dieting.

Little twat in the woods. Anyone up for

another girl? Have a seat there. Catch

your breath, good turtle.

Congratulations Lancelot, I

see $1,000,000 contractyour picture on a

cereal box and your old line across

trading shoes for turtles. Hey, I

want that. You'll have to wait till the

2nd annual marathon and next time

you might try running a Princess running.

Never come Lancelot.

Lancelot, come here. Come here.

Lancelot, give me that

trophy. A

lot.

Ain't no ice cream cones, ain't no

silicones, ain't no parameter, ain't no

kidney stones, ain't no microphones.

Ain't no carry on.