01x08 - Queen Bee

[bunniefuu]

[Phone buzzes]

You want me to drop you off here?

Oh! Uh yeah, yeah this looks right

I uh... haven't been here before

[House music picks up]

[Crowd cheers happily]

LOONAAAAA!!!

Hey girl! Glad you could make it!

Tex! Yeah, hey! Thanks for inviting me.

Course! Course! Hey everyone, meet the new face!

[Tex howls]

[Party guests howl in response]

You want a drink or anything?

Oh, uh... sure, yeah, totally.

Off Screen: And so I told him, I'm not gonna go get it-

-unless you f*cking throw it this time

That is so not fetch

Not fetch...

Loona: hahaha, yeah like that happens all the time... ah ha...

O.M.G Loona?

Lunatic Loona?

That you?

Uhhh yeah. It's Loona... yeah...

Wow

I can't believe you're showing up to another party-

I mean, do you even remember the last one

I'm sure you'll remind me

Yeah, this...

This you right?

[Growls]

Why do you still have that?

It brings me joy

You know you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy

[Growls]

Wow... you're being really negative

You're aura is really aggressive right now

Oh yeah? Well maybe it's cause I'm in the presence of a massive b*tch!

[gasps]

Oh...

my dog...

wow.

What!? is that not an okay thing to say?

Like, come on! It's true!

[off screen] You can't say that

Did I miss anything?

No no no... no nothing... no.

[Off screen] HA HA! How my dirty b*tches doing toniiiiight?

[Howls and cheers]

OW OW! Ya'll ready to party with the Queen Bee of Gluttony!

Come on!

Hell yeah! Cause the honey is flowing tonight-

And this b*tch bout to get -

f*cking!

WILD!

LETS GET IT STARTED!!!

[Cotton Candy begins playing]

[Lyrics] Cotton Candy, Cotton Candy

Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy

Hey! I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want

I got it all, a carnivale

I'll bring you up, I'll take you DOWN

I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like-

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

I'm whatchu want, not watchu need

Hey, I don't know why, I'm whatchu want but it's the truth

I'm not your lie, let them eat cake, let them eat PIE!

Or better yet, let them eat-

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

I'M WHATCHU WANT, NOT WATCHU NEED

COTTON CANDY SKIES!

SWEET AS APPLE PIE

I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

YEAH

COTTON CANDY

I'm watchu want, not watchu need

SO WATCHU WANT!?

Ya hungry?

Take a BITE!

Get f*cked TONIGHT!

So watchu want

Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff-

So keep making me that mother f*cking honey

Yeah, keep it comin

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

COTTON CANDY

I'm watchu want, not watchu need

COTTON CANDY SKIES

SWEET AS APPLE PIE

I CAN'T HELP BUT SHINE

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT

COTTON CANDY SKIES

SWEET AS APPLE PIE

I CANT HELP BUT SHINE

BRIGHTER THAN THE STARLIGHT IN THE SKY

[Howls and cheers]

[off screen] OW OW! Vortex!

The party is buzzin now

f*ck!

I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time though

I have like a rainbow...

In my vag*na right now

Oh hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?

Excuse me?

She's a f*ck cutie! Where you been hiding girl? [laughs]

Is there something funny?

Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now

Tex says you don't get invited out much

I hope this itty bitty get together can serve as a fun first time

Mmhmm

I would have thrown a bigger one-

but I couldnt convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs

SO f*ck lame

I mean, I usually just steal them but Belle changed the locks

She says I'm a total "jackass" for trying but hey-

I'm proud to be a total jackass

Anyway, yeah Bee, this is Loona.

And Loona, this is my girlfriend Bee

Nice ta meetcha b*tch!

Oh this is...

She's HOT!

Ha! Holy sh*t! Okay, Tex you didn't tell me she was hilarious

Thats so funny

Right...

I love that that's the first thing you say to me

You don't give a sh*t how freaky you come off

And that's. f*cking. Beautiful.

You are my new favorite person

Am I though...

Yeah b*tch!

No really-

Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on

I was like, OOF BOY! YOU ARE HOT AS HELL!

But then I wanted to die, cause it was so awkward

Cause he's more like a brother to me, you know?

But not ACTUALLY my brother so I guess...

It was fine. I COULD hit that...

Anyway girl, you have a good time tonight

Get some sweets, get some eats, drink it, tear it, f*ck it up!

WHOO!

Cheers honey! Thank you for coming

Do you need anything? are you having fun? Are you good?

Are you drunk? Okay good, okay great...

Yeeeah, I'm gonna go.

What? Why? You just got here, at least one drink right?

Nope, you really wouldn't like me after one drink

[Barking ringtone]

So stupid. I shouldn't have come

Hey Loonie, how ya doin? You alright?

Yeah I'm fine, I just wanna go

Hey hey! That sounds like Blitzo!

The "O" is silent as*h*le!

Hey hey, I knew it was you. f*ck man where you been? You here for the party?

No, I'm just here picking up my daughter

Oh sh*t! You have a daughter now?

ADOPTED!

Oh man, you're already leaving? Things just got started

Come in and show us all up again

No, no, thank you, but I think Loonie wants to head back

Huh, the hottie next to you wants to leave?

[Growls] Watch it

I mean, we could stay a little longer

I think we need to go mkay? I think it's been a long night

Well these people seem to know you.

Come on, I think I want to give this another try.

Pleeease?

Okay fine, maybe ONE drink

BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ, BLITZ!

Aaagh

[Howls and cheers]

[off screen] Oh wooow

HA! That was nothing b*tch! Give me a real challenge!

Oh yeah? Wanna f*ck with the big b*tch imp boy?

I got a challenge for ya

Oh... He's gonna die

Aaaalright, lets do this!

From Bee's personal supply, the hardest sh*t there is

You ready my man?

OH BORN READY!

Bring it barky! I will drink you under this f*cking table-

You have no idea what kind of night I've had

Alright sh*t talker-

but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game

So you better bring the fire baby

Oh, is Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?

Oh okay, lets get in on you little b*stard

[Gulping]

Come on Blitz! f*ck her up! You can do it!

Who's the queen now!?

Yeah! That's my DAD!

Well f*ck me! That's a first, I haven't had a first in a while

That was magical, seriously, impressive.

I tip my crown to you imp boy

Respect

[Howls]

[Laughs]

Hey Loon, I don't mean to be a buzz k*ll here, but your uh, dad...

guy dude...

Is um... He's seeming a bit

Out of control, like... a mess.

Yeah it's worrisome, you wanna maybe check on him or somethin

What!? No! No, Blitz is fine. He's always a mess, trust me

Look honey, I see people having fun and getting f*cked up all the time

but he's clearly getting wasted off his a*s and causing problems on purpose

So I feel like, you should check up on him at least

Just see if something's up

Don't act like you know him like I do

I aint sayin that

I'm just pretty sure he's had like four tongues inside him at once

I mean... Good for him, but...

I can taste the flavor of people at my parties-

and he's giving off a very... not okay vibe, you know?

Oh yeah, and I'd bet you'd know the "not okay" vibe right?

I mean everyone likes you so much

What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin sour cream?

Don't f*ck with me!

Sorry, yeah nope, I'll uh... I'll check on him

Uuuugh sorry, sorry. I know I got a little spicy there, I just-

hope everything works out. Now let's dance

BLITZ! BLITZ! Where are you shithead! Blitz-

Oh piss on a d*ck! What the f*ck are you doing Blitz!

This guy

It looks like you're in the middle of a god damn orgy, STOP!

[Slurred] Look I didn't expect you to come in here and see any of this Loonie I'm so sorry-

but it's a party, I'm just havin fun with uh...

the f*ck is your name again?

Dennis

Christ on a stick, you would be a Dennis

Get the f*ck away from me! I'm not f*cking a Dennis tonight

I need a Monica or Alejandro in here STAT!

Better...

You don't need anyone else sucking your face freaky weirdo

You need to drink something other than Beelzejuice

Uuuugh, no...

Do you need to throw up?

Mmm..no...

[Laughs] Yeah you do.

I had a really shitty day

Oh yeah? Is that why you drank like five gallons of who knows what?

f*ck, Fizz was right

I'm gonna die alone aren't I

Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste...

Will you be there Loonie?

Be where?

I dunno jus- [Drunken mumbles] ...lonely... Die alone...

I'll be there dad

Now go the f*ck to sleep... okay?

[Drunken mumbling] Millie... Moxxie... Stolas...

f*ck! Yeah, I did need to throw up