01x07 - Ozzie's

[bunniefuu]

Woo! That was a f*ck of lumberjacks.

[SCREAMS]

I'm still so jazzed up!

Well, you better stay jazzed. Gotcha, babe,

because guess where I'm taking you tonight.

Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie.

Besides, drinks are on me tonight.

Let's hit up the new dive down the street!

Actually, sir. It's our one-year marriage anniversary, so

I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!

Ozzies?! No way!

That place is always booked!

Yeah, well, I've been planning it for quite a while.

Moxxie!

Ah, can you two not?

I'm sorry, sir. Maybe another time?

No, it's fine. I can come with the two of you.

Help you celebrate your boring as f*ck monogamy.

Uh, no. The reservation is for us.

Uh-huh.

Just us.

Mhm.

Without you there.

Explicitly without you there!

I'll wear something nice. It's a big deal after all.

See you love bugs later!

[MOXXIE GROWLS]

Relax, Sweetie. Don't let him get to you today.

Let's just go home and clean this blood off. [PURRS]
[GIGGLES]

Elevator 666, departing for Lust in 5 minutes~.

Yeah, it's Loona. Whoever you are, go for it.

Hey Loonie. Just wanna let you know I'm not gonna

be back home until real late.

I got something important tonight.

[JAZZ MUSIC]

Hold on there, little buddy. You got a reservation?

Oh yeah. I'm with those two.

This club is for couples only.

It's what?

No date, no reservation, no entry.

You know you have really nice eyes, Daddy~.

You f*cking prude!

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

Why won't you love me, Alejandro?!

That's a mood, Gabriella.

Hello?! Hello, Blitzy!

Stolas, hey.

You, uh. You busy tonight?

Uh... why do you ask?

I was wondering if you wanna come with me

to a club tonight.

Are you... asking me on a date, Blitzy?

I-I... yes, I suppose that is what's happening.

How fast can you get down to Lust?

I can be ready in 20!

Alright, fantastic. See you soon.

I'll see youuu, Blitzy.

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh, Blitzy!

I'm here!

Wow.

That's a bit overkill, don't you think?

[NERVOUS LAUGH] Well, I-I just wanted to look

a little nicer for you.

This is our first real date, after all.

Oh, yeah. I guess this is, huh?

You again? Beat it, shithead.

Ahem.

Do we have a problem?

Oh! Oh, sh*t. Uh, my apologies, your highness.

Uh, please. Go right in.

Oh my.

Oh, no. No but yes!

Oh, Blitz. How romantic is this?

What made you choose such a place to bring me?

Oh, it just sounded like...

I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know?

Gotcha!

Oh, Blitz? What are you looking at?

I'm looking at nothing. How about that?

Can I get you two off?

I mean, start you two off with some drinks?

Yes! Uhm, perhaps some wine to share.

Do you prefer red wine or white, Blitz?

Or perhaps some champagne?

Yeah, whatever.

[NERVOUS LAUGH] Perhaps all three.

Why not.

So, Blitz. How was your day?

Huh? Oh, uh. Good, I guess?

We k*lled a bunch of weirdos.

That sounds fun!

How... did you k*ll them?

How? I-I mean there was a lot of them so...

Uhm, b*ll*ts?

Right! [NERVOUS LAUGH]

So... What made you decide to ask me out after all this time?

Uhhhm.

Ladies and Gentlemen!

I see some sexy faces around here tonight!

Welcome, welcome to Ozzie's.

Lustering's number one place for all kinds

of sick, twisted fantasies.

Put on display for all you sleaze and sleazetts.

The gem joint of Asmodeus himself.

Come on, give him some love!

Did he just say Asmodeus?

Oh, no. No f*cking way. Not him.

I'm the one and only Fizzarolli.

Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face

from my numerous toy bogic replicas across

the rings of hell.

Gloriously designed by the big man himself

and uh... ribbed for your pleasure tonight~.

We have a great lineup for you tonight!

Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream and the Squirters!

But as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all.

Did any of you hear about the batshittery

that happened at Loo Loo Land?

[LAUGHS]

Oh yeah! Wow!

Can I tell you what. I'd sure love to

shake the hand of the crazy son of a b*tch who

decided to burn down that off-brand sh*thole

and then slap a [INAUDIBLE] in it 'cause

I'm very much looking at a zoo.

That robo-me made us more money

entertaining those kids than the ones we sell

to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean.

Oh! I know what you mean!

I have four of them!

Okay, keep that guy far away from me.

So, without wasting any more time...

Our little opening act is a fresh one.

Coming at us from a little imp from the wrath ring...

Give it up for Moxxie...!

With no creative stage name whatsoever.

Hello, everyone!

Oh... Ahem.

Hi... uh, thank you for letting me be here.

It's an honor to play.

Uh, hurry up b*llet. Uh, sing boy!

This song is for my beautiful wife.

A surprise for our first anniversary.

I love you, Millie.

♪ I love you ♪

♪ More than the brimstone loves the fire ♪

♪ More than Beelze loves her bub ♪

♪ More than a maggot loves gangrenous stubs ♪

♪ You make my spirits sing ♪

♪ Yeah, you make me glad I live in hell ♪

♪ Our love is a story sweet to tell ♪

♪ Yeah, you cast a special satanic spell ♪

♪ Over my heart ♪

♪ Love is a journey we decided to start ♪

♪ Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart ♪

♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪

♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪

♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪

♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪

[LAUGHS]

♪ You singing love songs in my lustful lounge? ♪

♪ Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds ♪

♪ What'd you expect from a proprietor like us? ♪

♪ Your demon host, Asmodeus ♪

♪ The embodiment of lust ♪

♪ Give me a thrust ♪

♪ Yeah, show me some lust ♪

[IMITATES TRUMPET NOISES]

♪ From the groin to the bust ♪

♪ and desire we trust ♪

♪ in the house of Asmodeus ♪

Trumpet, hah!

♪ Little Imp, if you came here to sing your serenade ♪

♪ Perform your feelings on the velvety stage ♪

♪ Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts ♪

♪ Only little b*tches strum the strings in their hearts ♪

♪ You want to hang around this lustful town? ♪

♪ Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around ♪

♪ Here we sing about wants and desires ♪

♪ Depravity, savagery, loins harder than fire ♪

♪ So give me a thrust ♪

♪ Show me some lust ♪

♪ From the groin to the bust ♪

♪ Little Imp, you just must ♪

♪ in the house of Asmodeus ♪

♪ Come on, sing us a song ♪

♪ Make sure the subject is "Gettin' It On" ♪

♪ Make it graphic and tactfully long ♪

♪ Make sure to rhyme thong and shlong ♪

♪ Go ahead, your mic's on ♪

♪ I want to ♪

Yeah, what do you want? Butt stuff, piss play, bondage?

♪ Make gentle love to you ♪

♪ Ugh, what a limp-d*ck imp ♪

♪ You're really k*lling the vibe ♪

♪ Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride ♪

Hey now, I've watched those two pork many times.

What?! Blitz!

And honestly, they make missionary look

relatively exciting.

♪ Is that Blitzo? So you're showing your face? ♪

♪ Hey everybody! ♪

♪ This guy's a total disgrace ♪

♪ Some nerve you got to comment on a relationship ♪

♪ Last I checked your love life is ♪

♪ a pile of sh*t ♪

♪ Oh, Blitzo? ♪

♪ I used to date him ♪

Oh, Verosika... you're here.

♪ I'd stroke and I'd fellate him ♪

♪ Yeah, but when it was my turn ♪

♪ He did no reciprocating ♪

♪ A selfish imp in the sheets ♪

♪ and just as bad in the streets ♪

♪ A reckless heartbreaking freak ♪

♪ Who's that at your table? ♪

♪ Is your date a demon prince? ♪

♪ Stolas, is that you? ♪

♪ Are you sleeping with an imp? ♪

♪ Oh! My dark lord ♪

♪ How the mighty do fall ♪

♪ You used to have a smoking wife and a kid ♪

♪ You had it all ♪

♪ I hope you didn't give it up ♪

♪ so you and him could get it up ♪

♪ You sold your life for a thrust ♪

♪ Now that's the spirit of lust ♪

♪ Grab your groin or your bust ♪

♪ You better get your hair mussed ♪

♪ Pretend you don't see that crust. ♪

♪ Hump til your junk turns to dust. ♪

♪ In the house of Asmodeus ♪

I think you were trying to sing something

for me, Mox.

Yeah, I was.

♪ I love us ♪

♪ I love us just the way we are ♪

♪ Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't ♪

♪ I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes ♪

♪ I'll never take you for granted ♪

♪ I'll always give you my best ♪

♪ And if you can offer the same ♪

♪ Fate will handle the rest ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you ♪

You know what. This was a mistake.

Let's just... let's just leave.

Oh, right. Of course.

Oh, ain't that just such a happy display.

It sickens me!

GET THE f*ck OUT!

Thank you... for...

inviting me out tonight.

Despite everything that's happened I...

I enjoyed spending time with you.

Yeah.

You know. I have some more wine in the house.

Octavia's with her mother this weekend so we could...

I'm not f*cking you tonight, okay?

I'm really... just...

I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.

We could talk or watch a movie

or... maybe... cuddle?

Stolas, don't act like what we have is

anything but you wanting me to f*ck you, okay?

You make that really clear all the time.

But I just can't do it tonight, okay?

I'm sorry.

Okay...

Goodnight, Blitz.

Night.