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01x03 - Losing Lancelot/Buzz Cut

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Mike, Lu & Og". Aired: November 12, 1999 – May 27, 2001.*
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Series follows a foreign exchange student from Manhattan named Mike, a self-appointed island princess named Lu, and a boy-genius named Og.

01x03 - Losing Lancelot/Buzz Cut

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

where uh

knows

[Music]

want to play snatch the cabbage

good boy

ha you missed nice try though want to

try again

too bad

the thing is snatch the cabbage is a

tough game gotta always be on the ba*ls

with your feet poised ready to snatch

otherwise whoops no cabbage

hey stupid turtle

hey lance a lot

lancelot

time for a game of dress-up

i've got the dresses and you're up

[Music]

what a beautiful cake

i wonder if it's my birthday

want some

too bad

yeah

needs cream coconut cream come on let's

play another game

[Music]

this one's pretty simple

it's called whack and catch i'm the

whacker and you're the catcher

[Music]

oh goody coconut cream

come on lancelot i got another game

baseball mike likes this one and you get

to be home played isn't that great you

lucky little devil

[Music]

stay

now

i hit the ball out of the park

then i run around the bases and i come

home and tag you and i win

lancelot where are you

home plates gotta be home when the

winning run comes in

lancelot oh lancelot

you can come out now

the game's over

you've had your little fun and it was

really fun wasn't it but now it's over

let's go

please lance luck time to come back

lancelot

[Music]

get back here you stupid turtle get back

here you're gonna be in so much trouble

you're gonna wish you were a vegetable

broccoli at least broccoli's got a head

[Music]

what do you think you're doing

don't

now

lancelot you're a lamb turtle you can't

swim

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

gone gone totally over why why did it

happen to me

why

what happened to you

just when we had bonded oh he had almost

learned to sit

and stay

and i i learned to love unconditionally

oh

lancelot what about him he's gone where

there there what'd you do well come on i

didn't do anything he jumped i don't

know why we were playing a game he just

jumped well come on action guy would

save your turtle but he's not here so

let's go get the turtle before he drowns

mike

i'm overcome i mean i just don't know

how to thank you i mean i do thank you i

mean do you really think you can save

lance a lot from a watery grave don't

worry about a thing kid i rode one of

these in central park

lancelot is as good as saved okay please

find him find my lancelot

she's so brave

come back lancelot

[Music]

hey bozo easy on the hardware it's a

rental

i wonder if she's gonna be able to do

this oh

oh hello

mike do what

well she's doing this very brave thing

for me well

actually

it's for lance a lot but um what

um hmm what's she doing for you and

lancelot i think she's fighting with a

shark or

and i'll pull your two lip over your

forehead

[Music]

not good

[Music]

be careful enough is too much already

[Music]

go on go away quit eating my boat go eat

an octopus

[Applause]

you've got very big teeth for a fish

ever think about orthodontics

[Music]

[Music]

good going out man you're the beast

what's that noise

what's that no noise why is the boat

stopping the boat shouldn't stop not now

this is very not good

you my dear have you seen mike and og he

was going to help me sharpen my suction

cups hmm and she was to meet me for tea

they took a boat ride but everything's

fine

what up with a motorbike out boy well it

could be as simple as the magneto or the

coil neither one likes to damp we'll try

them these shark guys are moving in for

the k*ll we gotta get out of here fast

well i'm just not sure i approve i don't

know if those two are old enough to go

out in a boat alone

now dear our hogs are pretty capable

fellow

capable or no there are such things as

sharks

and i just don't know if i approve

oops

it wasn't my fault hold on mike

your father's coming i'm too young to go

like this i haven't even tasted caviar

hold on kids i'm coming

it was all landlord's fault

[Music]

hold on i'll be there in just a chip

this kid needs a life

[Music]

good old girl i knew you had to stop

[Music]

time to go

they did it they did it they're saved

hallelujah oh they're coming back

huh

they're ruining your beautiful boat no

this can't be happening

give me a hand deal the children no go

ouch oh we were just playing a game and

now this disaster all all devoured by oh

no no it is just too horrible

wait it's a lot

lancelot is it

it is it's you

i can't believe it you are in big

trouble buster but never mind look

everybody else is in worst trouble

they're all gonna be gobbled up by

sharks

what can we do up a creek without a

paddle we haven't even got a boat i mean

i could make one sure but he's out there

what do we do oh what do we do

but lancelot we haven't got a boat

[Music]

i've got a blister

[Music]

lancelot you have got to stop this silly

running away look at the mess you've

created alfred my dear

i wonder do you know of a nearby home

for wayward girls no but i'm sure ogg

could make one

something with high fences locks

restraints

maybe just a key boy help people out

look what it gets

you what did i do

nowhere to stand

up and down in and out where do i land

life's an ornithopter

michelangelo try and make it

do i land

[Music]

[Music]

where uh

knows

[Music]

ah come to the royal personage if you

please

[Music]

the regal feet will not touch the

present stand

definitely maladjusted anti-social with

a hint of dysfunctionality

does not play well with others

i'll play with you

let's play like you can fly

[Music]

crabs are weird i mean they live in the

water and out of the water

which time do they hold their breath

crabs don't breathe only people breathe

many members of the crustacean order

decapoda huh crabs they breathe through

a highly unusual gill system which hangs

ventrally in a series of plates called

gill books hold it

do i need to know this no but some have

gills at the base of their legs

they have to wiggle them all the time in

order to breathe

[Music]

[Music]

i wish i was a crab

thought you were what i'd like to be a

bird

or maybe a jet

or an acrobatic stunt plane

no no no no no i want to be a helicopter

to walk in a talk at a talk and

what's a helicopter it's the vest

okay it's like this big thing like a

plane but with a giant propeller on top

so it can fly up and down back and forth

anywhere

kind of like a giant bumblebee you can

get inside and you can ride

oh sure make a giant bumblebee she can

ride in make anything for the exchange

girl

he's gonna make one

sister ignatius would love you in her

science class

what about me

i may be a princess but i have my needs

i have my wants my desires i say i'd

like to be a crab does he make me a crab

no

oh any crab i want i gotta go catch by

myself

can't you fan any faster

uh

we'll need silica sand

bitumus earth copper and iron ore a

smelter a high temperature forge several

machine tools

and a chair

wanna help why would i wanna help little

miss get everything she wants

nice

another counseling candidate

you're not helping lance a lot

how are we going to find a chair a chair

a chair

my kingdom for a chair

thanks for the help thanks for the help

[Applause]

come on lancelot we're finding a chair

[Music]

[Music]

sorry

[Music]

maybe i should get him to make a tractor

first

[Music]

i'm helping

[Music]

good

now while that's set i'll just finish up

some writing

where can that chair have gone

oh well i'll just do a bit of sculpture

instead

[Music]

wow

it's a beaut oh thanks

hold it yeah hold it what not so fast

miss helicopter what well just not so

fast that's all

i mean you always get what you want and

i never do

you say you want something boom there it

is you want a helicopter boom you got a

helicopter but what about me what do i

get i get sand palm trees a turtle

stuff everybody gets

what do you want i want to fly it do you

think you can teach me i don't know how

either oh sure good one pushy babe from

the big city doesn't know how to fly

tell me another really i i don't hold it

you got to read the manual

finally og 1011 the operation of a

helicopter is akin to but not exactly

the same as the flying of an airplane in

that the pilot controls not only

ailerons and forward motions

[Music]

manuals are for exchange student losers

so what's the manual say it says read

the manual first oh

[Music]

[Music]

sorry do not start the helicopter

without a full understanding of the

operating manual i said i was sorry guy

get upset over nothing why don't you

oh what are they worried about this is

easy a premature starting time can lead

to serious consequences if the operator

does not have a full understanding of

machines operation

she's bringing it down

ah got you now you devil you there is no

escaping this time

the tree is your only way down and i'm

on the tree you cannot get past

dragged

everything okay son ah

nice too

[Music]

i need a haircut

i don't have any hair

that kid ought to be putting some kind

of program

[Music]

just a trim base in my head

not too close man you let me looking

like a shaved cat

splendid very good

indeed thank you thank you so much

isn't that my chair

how can a person drive their helicopter

properly when it is full of rocks

[Music]

get me down

right now

[Applause]

[Music]

that's better

oh you okay

are you all right dear yeah

great

isn't that my chair

[Music]

i didn't take it she did she made me do

it it was all her fault and his if he

hadn't made that stupid helicopter this

never would have happened

[Music]

next

what am i supposed to do with you a

little hidden massage would be really

nice but it's not my fault you're bald

shut up and run

like a helicopter

nowhere to stand

michelangelo

do i land

[Music]