01x07 - Zardo Zap

[bunniefuu]

[theme song] [SINGING] Bah-dum
bum-bum, bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum, bum.

We're ready to wiggle.

Wiggle your fingers
high in the sky.

We're ready to wiggle.

Wiggle your ears,
and wiggle your eyes.

We're ready to wiggle.

Wiggle your hair,
and wiggle your nose.

We're ready to wiggle.

Wiggle all 10 toes.

Wiggle all 10 toes.

Woo.

You know, there's lots of
places you can walk or run to.

Dorothy the Dinosaur's
walking, eating some roses.

Captain Feathersword is
running to his pirate ship.

Whoa ha-ha-h*.

Henry the Octopus is walking
to the ocean to have a swim.

And Wags-- Wags the dog is
running to dig up some bones.

And Jeff, well,
Jeff's sleepwalking.

[chuckles] He's always asleep.

Jeff?

Come back here, Jeff.

Wake up, Jeff.

Wake up.

Get ready to--

["walk" playing]

[SINGING] Walk on
your way to school.

Walk to the swimming pool.

Walk to your favorite park.

Walk, but not after dark.

Walk everywhere.

Run right around the block.

Run in your shoes and socks.

Run with your knees up high.

Run when you're feeling fine.

Run everywhere.

Well, it's been lots of
fun walking and running.

What other ways can we move?

Oh, I think I know.

[SINGING] We can move
in many different ways.

We can walk and run
and jump all day.

Jump like a kangaroo.

Jump over to the zoo.

Jump up two flights of stairs.

Jump high up in the air.

Jump everywhere.

Walk.

Walk.

Walk.

[classroom chatter]

WOMAN: You can find
out lots of things

when you play on a computer.

You move the mouse, and
click it when the cursor

is on the right spot.

And you can have all sorts
of computer adventures.

Sometimes you can solve puzzles.

And sometimes the computer
asks questions and tells you

if you've got it right.

Oh, you need to watch
what is on the screen

and listen to what is said.

And then you can
make stories happen.

Sometimes it's hard
to make the mouse

do what you want it to do.

You have to
concentrate and think

about what you have to do next.

It's really exciting
when you've made

the characters on the screen
move and jump up and down

and sometimes disappear.

[laughing]

Hee hee hee.

[theme music] [SINGING] Bah-dum
bum-bum, bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum, woo.

[upbeat music]

What a beautiful
sunny day outside.

[yawns] I think I'll
take a quick nap.

[snoring]

[whirring]

[electronic beeping]

Zardo Zap to spaceship.

Zardo Zap to spaceship.

Do you read me, spaceship?

Over.

[squiggly sounds]

I have arrived at Wiggle House.

I plan to enter and complete
objective of finding out

how the Wiggles and their
friends make children laugh,

dance, and sing.

[squiggly sounds]

Very well.

Any more orders?

[squiggly sounds]

Yes, I will bring back
one can of lemonade.

Who goes there?

I am Zardo Zap.

I am a scary alien
from another planet.

Resistance is futile.

Likely story.

You'll need to do the
test if you want to enter.

No.

No test for Zardo Zap.

Look into my eyes.

[electronic beeping]

You are getting sleepy.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

[electronic beeping]

Resistance is futile.

Oh, all right.

[door opens]

[door hinges creak]

[snoring]

[door closes]

Oh, this is a Wiggle.

I think it is a Jeff.

I have a brilliant plan.

I will disguise
myself as this Jeff

and find out what secrets they
have to make children laugh,

dance, and sing.

ANTHONY: [SINGING]
An apple, an apple.

Oh, no, another Wiggle being.

I must hide.

[door opens]

[whirring]

[slide whistle]

[boing]

[door closes]

[exhales]

[door opens]

[whirring]

[door closes]

[door closes]

Oh, that was close.

[whirring]

Zz, zz.

Zz, zz.

[door closes]

[exhales]

[electronic beeping]

Zardo Zap to spaceship.

I am preparing to take
on the form of the Wiggle

they call Jeff.

[whirring]

[ROBOTIC] NO one will ever know.

[doors open and close]

Jeff, you're awake.

Aren't you sleepy today?

[ROBOTIC] I am not tired.

Why would Jeff be tired, Murray?

Oops, I mean Anthony.

But, Jeff, you're
always tired.

Jeff, is there
something wrong?

You sound funny.

[ROBOTIC] Just a cold.

Ah-choo.

[organ music]

No more foolishness.

I know you are there.

Aw, Jeff, how did you know?

[ROBOTIC] My sensors
detected a reptilian lifeform.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

[ROBOTIC] Let us
perform for the children

immediately, make them happy.

But, Jeff, we don't have
any concerts till tomorrow.

You know that.

[ROBOTIC] Oops,
my Jeff mind forgot.

Ah, Henry, show me how to
make the children laugh.

[ALL] Henry?

That's Dorothy.

Is this really Jeff?

I don't think so.

[ROBOTIC] I have
been found out.

My goose is cooked.

[electronic whirring]

Wah-hoo, that's not Jeff.

I am Zardo Zap from
the planet Zephyr.

And I have failed in my mission.

[door opens and closes]

Why?

What was your mission?

The children on
my planet are sad.

We must find a way
to make them happy.

I was going to take your
secrets away and use

them to make children smile.

Well, you didn't
have to disguise

yourself to do that, Zardo.

And there's no
real secret about it.

It's because they love
to sing and dance and have

fun with their friends.

Oh?

Fun?

What's fun?

Hey, Zardo, watch this.

[SINGING] Ah goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo goo-goo.

Goo-goo goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo goo.

Hey.

That is most fun.

But I would never be able to
teach the children of Zephyr.

Sure, you can.

All you have to do is try it.

Go on.

You might even like it.

[ALL SINGING] Goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo goo-goo goo.

Goo-goo goo-goo goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo.

Goo-goo goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo goo.

Goo-goo goo-goo
goo-goo goo-goo goo.

[laughing]

That is fun,
most fun, but hard.

Well, yes, it is hard, Zardo.

But the main thing is you
try and enjoy yourself.

Well, thank you,
my new friends.

If you ever get to
Zephyr, please look me up.

[ALL] Will do, Zardo.

Zardo Zap ready
for transportation.

Oh, may I borrow
one can of lemonade?

GREG: Sure.
Jeff?

One moment.

[electronic beeping]

Zee ya, Wiggles.

[ALL] Zee ya, Zardo.

[SINGING] Doo-doo
doo-doo doo-doo doo.

[ALL SINGING] Doo-doo
doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo.

[RAPIDLY] Doo-doo
doo-doo doo-doo doo.

Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo.

Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo.

[laughing]

[theme song]

[SINGING] Get ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

We've been ready for so long.

Get ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

When you wiggle,
you can't go wrong.

Get ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Wiggle will make
you big and strong.

Get ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Come on, wiggle to this song.

Wiggle to this song.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

We're ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Wiggle your fingers
high in the sky.

We're ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Wiggle your ears,
and wiggle your eyes.

We're ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Wiggle your hair,
and wiggle your nose.

We're ready, shoo-bee
doo-bee doo, to wiggle.

Come on, wiggle all 10 toes.

Wiggle all 10 toes.

Bah-dum bum-bum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum.

We can wiggle, woo.

And wiggle, woo.

Wiggle at home without a care.

Shoo-bee doo-bee doo.

Wiggle, woo.

And wiggle, woo.

Wiggle on your own
or with Teddy Bear.

Shoo-bee doo-bee doo.

Wiggle, woo.

And wiggle, woo.

Wiggle at breakfast,
lunch, or tea.

Shoo-bee doo-bee doo.

Wiggle, woo.

And wiggle, woo.

Wiggle along with me.

That's right.

Wiggle along with me.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Bah-dum bum-bum,
bah-dum bah-dum.

Woo.

["henry the octopus" playing]
[SINGING]

Henry the Octopus lives
down in the deep blue sea.

Henry the Octopus, he's
a friend to you and me.

Hi, everybody.

Or as we say in octopus
language, bree-boop.

[bouncy music]

GREG: It was a lovely
day under the sea.

Henry the Octopus and
his Underwater Big Band

had been playing their music.

After the practice, Henry had an
idea to do something different.

We spend our time
entertaining others.

Why don't we put on
a show for ourselves?

GREG: Henry thought for
a moment and then said--

A circus-- ooh,
I love a circus,

with lots of tricks and acrobats
and jokes and fun, and--

GREG: Henry the octopus
was getting very excited,

as he usually does.

And soon, the other
members of the band

thought it sounded like fun.

What we should do is go
away and practice and act

and then come back and perform.

It'll be so much fun.

I'll be the ringmaster
and announce everybody.

Let's go away and get
ready for the show.

[whoosh]

GREG: And so it was that
Henry's Underwater Big Band were

practicing their circus acts.

Soon, they were all
ready and very excited.

The band all gathered around.

And Henry walked into the
center of the sand stage

and announced--

[circus organ music]

Ladies and
gentlemen, presenting

the wonderful sea circus.

GREG: Henry was a
very good ringmaster.

The Underwater Big
Band all cheered.

[ALL] Yay.

And now for our next act,
the funniest shark in show

business, Jacques the Shark.

ALL: Yay.

I say, I say, I say,
what time is it when

an elephant sits on your car?

I don't know.

Time to get a new car.

[chuckles]

GREG: Jacques was very good.

Next came Tom, with
his magic tricks.

And now, I will
perform a magic trick.

I will make Joey the Crab
appear inside this magic box.

And now, with the magic
words fish fingers--

[ding]

GREG: Oh, dear, where is Joey?

He didn't appear
inside the magic box

because he was away
practicing his circus trick.

Oh, sorry, Tom.

I forgot to get inside the box.

Oh, well, better
luck next time, Tom.

GREG: And so the
members of the band

performed their
Sea Circus tricks.

Some worked, and a lot didn't.

But it was a lot of fun.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, for the last act,

I will perform some juggling.

Here I go.

GREG: Henry threw the
ba*ls high in the sky

but forgot that to juggle,
you've got to catch

them and throw them up again.

Instead, the ba*ls all
landed on top of Henry.

Whoa, I think I
need more practice.

Still, did you enjoy yourself?

ALL: Yay.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Thank you for
performing, everyone.

And we know that next time, the
Sea Circus will be even better.

GREG: And so Henry the Octopus
and the Underwater Big Band

had finished their circus.

It wasn't perfect, but
it was so much fun.

[warped tones]

["captain feathersword's theme"]

Ahoy there, me hearties.

You're all welcome here.

[SINGING] It's "Captain
Feathersword's Pirate Show."

[jaunty organ music]

Oh.

Hoo.

Whoa.
Whoa.

Oh.

[chuckles] Ooh,
ooh, you know what?

Ooh, ooh.

Ah.

Oh.

Oh, arr.

It's just no good, Wags.

I lost my special pirate hat and
with it, my ability to dance.

I need that hat to
be able to dance.

Oh-h*-h*, whoa, whoa.

I can't even walk
without my hat, Wags.

What am I going to do?

Who's going to do
the pirate dance?

Oh-h*-h*.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

[barking]

Wags, what is it, my boy?

Ooh, a treasure chest.

Oh, let me give you a hand, boy.

Look at that-- hats,
hats, hats, and more hats.

[barking]

Oh, Wags, do you
think one of these

might help me to be
able to dance again?

Only one way to
find out, I guess.

Oh, here goes.

[jaunty organ music]

Whoa, whoa.

Ooh, oh, quick, I
gotta stop, Wags.

Quickly, help me.

[whistles]

Whoa, whoa.

Wow.

Well-- well, that
one didn't work.

Perhaps we should try another.

[chuckles]

Ooh, that looks great.

[jaunty organ music]

Oh.

[jack hammering]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wags, I [STUTTERING]
don't think it's working.

Oh, dear.
[panting]

[music stops]

Perhaps another one.

Oh.

[bark]

That looks good.

Feels good, too.

[jaunty organ music]

And I'm not kicking my leg.

And I'm not shaking.

Oh, h*-h*.

Oh, whoa.

Oh, no.

Ooh, spaghetti legs.

[chuckles]

Whoa, wow.

Woo, ooh, ooh, help me, Wags.

Whoa, Waggsy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[barking]

Oh, it's just no good, Wags.

I just can't dance without
my special pirate hat.

Oh, dear.

Oh, I don't know
what to do, Wags.

[barking]

Oh, what?

Oh, what is it, my boy?

[barking]

Oh, yeah, tool belt, goggles.

Oh, you're going
to make something.

Here, let me help you.

Ooh, there we go.

ooh, yes, indeed.

Ha-har.

Ooh, yes.

[HUMMING] Dum-dee dum doo-doo.

Ow.

Ooh, ooh, this is a
great tool belt, Wags.

Ooh, yes.

Ooh, here we go.

Ah, well done, boy.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, Wags.

Ooh, I think you
should hurry, Wags.

Ooh.

[electric whirring]

[hammering]

[xylophone]
[jack hammering]

[sputtering]

Oh, oh.

[squeaking]

[yelling]

[ding]
- [barking]

What?

Ooh, oh, wait.

Whew, whew.

It looks just like
my old pirate hat.

[barks]

Do you think it will
help me to dance, Wags?

[barks]

Here it goes.

[panting] Oh.

Oh.

[jaunty organ music]

[chuckles]

Ooh, Wags.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

Goodness gracious,
goodness gracious.

Oh, nothing seems to work.

[music stops]

[crying]

Wags, oh, dear.

[barking]

Wags.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

[ding]

Oh, a new feather.

Oh, that's just what it needs.

Oh.

Oh, there now, it looks just
like me old Feathersword hat.

Ooh, ooh, I think
you've done it.

[jaunty organ music]

Ooh, Wags.

[hoots]

Ooh, yes, indeed, me hearty.

[barking]

[chuckles] Ooh,
Waggsy, Waggsy.

[barking]

Ooh, look at me.

[barking]

Look at me.

Look at me.

Ha!

[splash]

[bark]

[sighs]

Hmm, seems to have
gone in the water.

Wouldn't you know it?

Say, Wags, do you
think you could

make the Captain another
one of those hats?

Wags?

Whoa.

[barking]

[stuttering] Wags.

Wags.

Whoa.

Here's a song
about four animals.

It's a song about
a bear, a kangaroo,

a snake, and a wombat.

At the end of the song, let's
all give a really big growl

like a scary bear.

["here comes a bear" playing]

[SINGING] Here comes a bear,
stomping, stomping, a very

scary bear, stomping, stomping,
paws up in the air, stomping,

stomping, stomping everywhere.

Kangaroo jumps, boing boing.

He jumps so high,
boing, boing, he almost

touched the sky, boing, boing.

The kangaroo jumped so high.

Here comes a snake, ss, ss,
slithering along, ss, ss.

His body's very long, ss, ss.

Slithery snake slithers along.

Wombat crawls, crawling,
crawling, nose to the ground,

crawling, crawling.

He's making lots
of sound, crawling,

crawling, crawling everywhere.

Here comes a bear, stomping,
stomping, a very scary bear,

stomping, stomping,
paws up in the air,

stomping, stomping,
stomping everywhere.

Rawr.

[energetic music]

[gentle lullaby music]