01x01 - Back Story

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Charlie Horse Music Pizza". Aired: January 5, 1998 – January 17, 1999.*
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Show takes place around a pizzeria on the beach.
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01x01 - Back Story

Post by bunniefuu »

comes along

but no one knows your secret recipe for

peanut butter and jam

the hell tell me to dress warmly you

know how sensitive i

am the little lady mcmahon

i see what's

[Music]

tomorrow while i'm gone

think of something special that we all

love to do and just

remember how much i love you

when you're feeling glued

oh help me with my multiplication

because school's on vacation

who pat me on my head you didn't like

that you said

[Applause]

[Music]

okay last time away

it's very

[Music]

it's true it's great to be

together every day

[Music]

all that singing made me hungry

okay guys from now on we are going to

stick together like glue

right there's only one problem what are

we going to do to make a living you know

to earn the money

for food and clothing and rent oh come

on

shari shari don't be such a bring down

a bring down yeah yeah there's got to be

a thousand things that'll land the horse

a dog and a

uh a shower he can do okay start naming

okay we can we can hold

a a yard sale a yard sale yeah you'd be

surprised how much

money you can make selling all the old

junk you don't want anyway that's

wonderful idea

and then after we have sold all our

chunks what do we do

we go to somebody else's yard and we buy

their junk and then

we sell their junk i see we spend all

the money that we've earned

selling our junk to buy somebody else's

junk exactly

it sounds very complicated ah it's

easier than something hard like

running a business yeah but you know

charlie

if we were to start a business to run

together

uh which of course we're not what kind

of business might it be

a toy store yeah we do love toys

how about you hush what kind of business

would you want to run a butcher shop

what

you want to be in the butcher business

yeah i like bones bones

and i also like bunnies you want to be

in the bunny business

yeah bones or bunnies or bicycles or

bungles or bananas or balloons

wait a minute by any chance what's

sesame street brought to you today by

the letter b

yeah how'd you go wild yes

all right guys think about it if we were

to run a business

which of course were not which of course

we're not

it should be something that everybody

likes you know i mean

like what do kids like which mate

he's going right down your throat your

big loop

absolutely right what do you think well

free childhood 24 7. it's not going to

live with that

i like the idea how about you hush yeah

good idea

okay and now listen i know great big

empty store

and we could hold it hold it that's not

the way it happened come

on everybody free that's not the way it

happened

i found the place yeah well billy would

you rewind rewind the tape yeah

hey sherry i am looking at the answer to

our prayers right now yeah really um

what oh it's the old pie shop down by

the volleyball

court you know it is absolutely

beautiful

oh oh charlie horse are you seeing

something that i'm not huh

it's a dump ah come on sharon you just

gotta look at it the right way

now turn your head like this

and now squint what do you say

a sideways dump charlie this place needs

an

awful lot of work i couldn't help but

overhear your conversation

don't tell me you're actually having

doubts about this gold mine

well it is a little dusty

and it does need a coat of paint or

three and i doubt that anything is

working in this kitchen

under all of that rust and by the way i

don't think we have met

my name is shari hello where's my

manners lewis hardison belmont lemoyne

baptiste ii

call me junior junior i'm telling you

sharon

shack right this place has everything i

mean you can't go wrong it's got low

rent

a beautiful ocean views plenty of space

me

you oh yeah why i mean you're going to

need somebody to clean up this

stuff and uh

you you're going to need an assistant

manager for all the times you're away

and

i've been assisted managing this place

since the day it was born

ahaha i see you worked at the pie shop

that went out of business right exactly

and i also worked at the ice cream

parlor that was here before that

and um before that the house of weenies

and uh before i had before that the

locker connection and i said

sushi and um before that you worked at

all of those places

that went out of business mm-hmm what's

your point

you're a jinx well no it was how old

no no no no have you ever tried the food

at any of those places no

exactly neither did the owners in fact

sharing as my first order of business as

the assistant manager here i'd like to

suggest

that we hire a cook who knows how to

cook free

have you ever tried to hire a cook

oh it is not as easy as it seemed

oh billy rewind

lamb chop was right it wasn't easy at

all

i mean i took an ad in the paper and i

thought

maybe a hundred people would show up for

the job you know

and then i would hire the one who could

toss the pizza dough the highest or

or melt the cheese the fastest

well as it turned out we got exactly

one response one i tell you as kitchens

go i've seen worse

really i promise you

my little mutton shank compared to some

of the roach motels that i have worked

in this

is a palace it's the white house it's

bucky kim palace it's

foot it's an outrage that's what it is

it's an outrage you expect me to work

under these conditions never

i am an artist i'll have you know you

wouldn't ask picasso to work on a sewer

you're gonna ask mozart to work on a

garbage dump no

oh no i've been insulted enough i'm out

of here uh

how do you do mr how do my name is

giovanni batista muzzleloader

the piazza the piazza is just like pizza

only with

more letters i got it good my father

calls me cookie

okay cookie yes what is it now what do

you cook mostly food

hey you like food oh i eat nothing else

hey

all right listen when it comes to

negotiating i want you to know that i'm

very very easy i'm a pushover a pussycat

i'm not demanding but i have

two or three items that are very very

non-negotiable fire away

okay firstly i will only come to work

after three o'clock i will need you at

11 each morning

11 15 or i'm out of the door deal okay

secondly my days off are thursday

friday saturday and sunday your night

off will be tuesday

tuesday that works for me

okay when it comes to money

this is thirdly i will work for nothing

less

than three thousand dollars a week five

hundred and fifty

five hundred and fifty bus fare included

done

okay i'm driving a hard lugging

okay now fourth quarter are we almost

done here

yeah why i have raised children in less

time than it's taking to hire you

all right you can joke if you want but

this is very serious to me very serious

okay okay

fourthly fourthly fourthly i needed

assistance

i'm sorry now you have gone too far keep

laughing ladies

no assistant okay well then i wish you

all the luck in the world when it comes

to

getting somebody who's gonna come in

here and work under these conditions do

you realize that shopping has to occur

you also realize that there is slicing

peeling

not gonna mention mincing cooking there

is no mincing mentioned i'm talking

about

mopping up cookie hold it

you know he had a point

so i put another ad into the paper and

this time a number of people applied

some of them very interesting

hello uh any chance i could see what you

look like without your makeup

makeup are you sure you're old enough to

be a delivery boy

no problem man i've been doing it for

years

just one thing though it's that darling

my mom won't let me cross the street by

myself

bye bye

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

why on earth would you think of of

changing your line of work

he's eating me out of house and home

when i got him he was only yay high

now look at him who knew does he have a

name

means schmange who's got time come on

lady i'm dying here you're going to take

him or not

i don't know you know we would be the

only restaurant on the beach

that had a 300 pound talking monkey

around rangutan sorry

delivering our pizzas yes yes

kid you're hired i'm hot

okay now you're going to be our delivery

man

yo rangitan a regular

and we expect to have a very big takeout

business takeout means

that we're going to be delivering pizzas

all over the neighborhood you know so

here is a map

and this will show you where all the

addresses are in case you don't know

okay oh no people will give you money

and you give them the change have you

ever made change before

oh yeah up until about six minutes ago i

was for an organ grinder

changes my life good

all right now junior you could stop that

now

now junior is going to need your help

too

you'll have to do some dishes and some

shopping so

listen for junior when he calls you oh

yeah i'll listen up for junior whenever

he calls

i'll be there because i'm dependable and

i promise on

that of my words honey

that's you what take out

hey wow

i finally got a name

yes sir guys we have to figure out

what kind of a pizza parlor we want to

be

well it's got to be cool well you know i

think this place has to be

friendly like a love house so that all

my friends

want to come and hang out especially the

ones with money for pizza

guys what we have to concentrate on is

decorating the place

so that when anybody walks in boom one

look at the decorations they know

who we are and what we're all about no

sweat

got a big box of props out back that'll

fit any theme you could throw at me

what do kids like best animals animals

love animals this place was a pet shop

before take out do me a favor okay

run out back and go to the box that's

mark igor's exotic pet shop grab a toy

pig

okay pig the piggy pizza oh yeah

and a slogan can be little really really

all of the way home

i don't think so charlie ross what would

bring your friends

into the pizza party pizza oh good what

else

me yeah besides you and pizza what do

your friends like music and they like

wait

oh really they're like music and they

wait that's great

what music what the music

pizza oh i love it oh oh oh oh and it's

become a place where

everybody comes to listen to music and

then and make their own kind of music

hey we even got a stage over here a

stage i got it

good now lose it why because

take out you have just entered

[Music]

hey guys it's looking good

oh yeah we're starting now oh yeah it

looks like

it looks like we had expl*si*n in the

ink factory

do you know what this is it's a big

splotch a splash no it's not a splotch

it is a note

it doesn't look anything like those

things i passed in school

well it's not that kind of a note it is

a musical note

right uh-huh what are you doing i don't

hear a thing

they don't make sounds all by themselves

but when you put them all together and

you play them

these notes tell you what the music is

going to sound like

[Music]

just a quick adventure to a little start

music travels through time and we can go

along

just by following the notes we

find in every song here's the road we'll

travel on bar lines show how far we've

gone these bar lines

are like road signs that we see

they he'll guide us on our tricks from

one bar line to the next

we call this space a measure right here

we have three one two

three it's easy as can be

at the beginning of

every song there will be two numbers

here's where they belong these two

numbers

tell us just how full the measures are

so we'll know how far to go to reach

that little star

the top number tells us how many steps

we'll have to take before

we reach the next bar

[Music]

we take steps with our feet when we're

reading music

we call each step a b*at steps can come

in many different

sizes and you'll find that the same is

true of

notes there are many different kinds

we call this not a quarter note

it gets one b almost all the time

we call this note a half note

and two feet usually suits

it's fine there's

[Music]

it generally gets warped

okay let's see what we got one two

three four

[Music]

where's that twinkling little star it's

right here in this song

we can all count off the b*at as the

music

goes along one two

three

[Music]

so that's the story now you know how we

started this place

and how we made it a success and you've

met

everyone everyone in the music pizza

family wait

a minute everybody freeze

sure everybody thinks that because i'm a

raccoon and i live in the back

i must just be some kind of no good

loafing mooch

well let me tell you this place wouldn't

be nothing without me

how it really went was like this

i told sherry she had to have a party

open the place with a bang you know what

i'm talking sherry said

nope let's let the business build slow

i said okay okay you're the boss

then i talk to her kids into a party

anyway

i worked the beach crowds for three days

solid you may not know us from looking

at me but i am a very well respected

person around here when i talk people

listen anyhow it comes to tonight

the place is all and also span

cherry comes waltzing in not expecting

nobody

and

am i good or what hello everybody

i'm shari and i own this pizza parlor

and i want to welcome you

to the grand opening of the charlie

horse

music pizza welcome

time to get started i know that we'll

all have a great

time seeing your faces there's no place

that i'd rather

be all through this show i'll be

counting on you guys to play

along i'm ready for you

and i hope that you're ready for me

[Music]

because we're in this together

you're all a part of the show

when the band beats a rhythm let's hang

along with them

now me love you

this is different love you

now me now you

watch it you

me you

me now you

right now i'm feeling so happy i could

start

growing

why don't we all grow together it's easy

to do

now oh once you get started

you'll see that you just want to keep on

going keep

[Music]

i know it's true i am happy because i am

with you i'm glad we're

in this together by now

i'm sure that you know i need you

in fact you're a part of the act so join

in and have some fun that goes for

everyone

that's all you have to do i'll keep

reminding you

[Music]

[Applause]

now

you know i think this is going to work

out

just fine

[Music]

you can't

[Music]

you can't be mine but we

could still be friends

i hope that we'll still be friends

i know that you'll still be friends

we will still be friends

the charlie horse music pizza is brought

to you by the following

a complete education includes music and

nan believes

the best part of music is making it

nam the international music products

association

and by remo a world of drumming

[Music]
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