04x12 - Reba and the Nanny

[bunniefuu]

[woman] now, previously on reba.

I don't have very much
time. Van's on his way in.

But listen, I have to warn you,
do not make fun of his injury.

- Why? What is it?
- He broke his butt.

Have you ever heard of spinal stenosis?
It's a narrowing of the spinal canal.

My spine is getting narrow? Is that
why my pants have been feelin' looser?

No football, no money, no life.

All I got to look forward to
now is a lifetime of topical creams...

For my bottom!

Surprise! [Screams]

Barbra jean, what the heck?

I'm lonely.

You scared the heck
out of me. I could've hit ya.

See? Ow.

I came to see van.

What with his spine being narrow
and his football career being over,

Talking to him makes me
feel better about my life.

I'm really worried about him.
I've never seen him so down.

Stee-rike!

There's no better place
to be on a beautiful day...

Than a smoke-filled
bowling alley.

Van, are you okay? I mean,

If you're still down about losing your
football career, we can talk about it.

No, no, I'm fine. I've been
through all the stages of grief...

Denial, anger,
unusually dry skin.

And now, I feel like
a moist new man.

Okay, great. I guess the next
step is for you to find a new job.

A job? No way! Yep.

I finally have the time to do those things
I missed when I was playing football.

Not just bowling.
Important things.

Going to the movies, seeing old
friends, a little light gardening.

I'm telling you, life is a cabaret
now that I've got a narrow spine.

♪♪ [Humming] oh! Oh!

He's so happy. Wish I
had a narrow spine.

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

I'm signing up for
another evening class,

So I'm not gonna be
home until after dinner.

Another class? What are you
trying to do, graduate by morning?

Honey, are you sure you can deal
with all that plus elizabeth too?

You're right. I can't. So can you pick up
elizabeth from preschool from now on?

No! I have a job, and
you have a husband.

He can't be doing anything that's more
important than watchin' his daughter.

okay! I'm off to the lake.

It's a huge body of water
where they house fish.

- Guess what I'm doin'.
- Picking elizabeth up at 3:00.

Nope. The license says fishin'.

Wait. Let me get this straight.
You want me to skip class...

To pick up elizabeth
so you can go fishing?

Yes. Thank you, honey.
You're the best wife ever.

- You're picking up elizabeth.
- [Mutters, indistinct]

Van, she's working really hard,

And working hard
builds character.

- You oughta try it sometime.
- You know what else
builds character?

Fresh trout.

That's a good idea. Why
don't you get elizabeth...

And take her down to the grocery
store and pick some up for dinner.

All right, fine. I'll buy fish.

But I'm bringin' a cooler
full of beer to do it.

Catch me a carton of
eggs while you're at it.

Hey, reba, big news.

I figured out why
I was so lonely.

I was so lonely
because I was alone.

Oh, barbra jean,
you can't be lonely...

As long as there's
voices in your head.

No, reba, I was seized with
loneliness because I miss brock.

Yeah, and so I was thinking about
asking him to move back in with me.

Wow. Really?

Actually, I was thinking about
asking you if you'd ask him for me.

Me? And why would I do that?

[Little-girl voice] because you're my
bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Reba, please?

No, barbra jean. This is
between you and brock.

I mean, if you're sure you
want him back, ask him yourself.

If you're just
lonely, get a dog.

Van, I'm home! Shh!
Elizabeth is asleep.

Oh, sorry. I'll try
to keep it down.

- Um, hello.
- Hello.

- Who are you?
- Who are you?

- I live here.
- I'm elizabeth's nanny.

Elizabeth's... Oh. Van!

- Shh!
- Sorry, sorry.

[Whispering] van!

Oh, hey, mrs. H. I see you've
met penny, our nanny.

You hired a nanny? Uh-huh.

I can't believe cheyenne
approved of this.

That's the beauty of her being
so busy. She doesn't even know.

ah!

Penny is great. Elizabeth's
toys have never been cleaner.

And she's teachin' jake spanish.

es verdad, mamá.
Me gusta a penny.

- buen acento, jake.
- Gracias, penny.

Well, thank you very much, penny,
but van can take over from here.

no, no, no, no, I can't.
Penny is makin' chicken mole.

That is the most complicated
sauce in the spanish language.

You want me to leave?

Yes, uh, take the rest
of the day off with pay.

I'd love to, but I
don't work for you.

Hey. I can't stay. I've
gotta get my lab stuff.

But I will be back
around... Hello.

You must be the mother. I
will raise your daughter right.

- Van hired a nanny.
- What? Van...

Thank me later, honey.
Have fun at school.

You know what? I've got class right
now, but remind me to yell at you later.

Okay. [Forced laughter]

Yeah, right. I'm not
gonna even remind her.

Van? Oh, mrs. H,
what is the big deal?

I want the best for
my daughter. This way,

Elizabeth gets to have
quality time with me...

And quantity time
with a professional.

The big deal is, I thought
you were watching elizabeth.

That's your job.
I outsourced it.

Oh! Come on, mrs. H.
Lots of people hire help.

Why should I wait till I'm old
to take some time off? [tapping]

¡van, ándale! ¡Vamos!

I gotta go. Jake is "el maddo."

I'm learnin' spanish too.

There is a mr. Brock
at the backdoor.

also, there is a sullen
young lady named kyra...

Who wants her allowance
with no questions...

About school, her
friends or her life.

i will have a little chat with
her while I make the polenta.

Who's that woman? And why did she
pat me down with an antiseptic wipe?

Well, we've all wanted to.

It was actually
quite refreshing.

To what do I owe
this inconvenience?

Well, I'm having dinner at barbra
jean's tonight, like we do every week,

And I'm thinking about doing
something a little risky.

Spendin' more than four
dollars on a bottle of wine?

No. Asking her if I
can move back in.

Oh. Really?

Yeah. It's a little risky because I
don't wanna put any pressure on her.

I mean, she's the one
who kicked me out,

And if she wants me to move
back, she'll ask me to move back.

But she hasn't asked me to
move back, and it's k*lling me.

So I was wondering if
you could, you know,

Kinda ask her if
she's thinkin' about it.

So you want me to ask her
to go to the prom with ya?

Metaphorically, yes.

Look, brock, you're not the only
one a little nervous about all this.

Oh, my gosh. Are you saying
that barbra jean has told you...

She's thinking about
asking me to move back in?

Yes, but don't you
dare tell her I told you.

When she does ask
you, you act surprised.

Not that fake, ridiculous surprise
that you have. I mean really surprised.

Oh, reba, I just have...

Oh. Brock. Hi.

Barbra jean. Wow!
What a surprise.

What's up, barbra jean?

I have some news, and
since you're both here,

I may as well tell
you at the same time.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

But it's okay. Please, continue.

The step that I'm
about to take...

Is a big commitment emotionally,

And I know that there is always
the possibility of getting hurt.

But I have decided
that it is worth the risk.

So, barbra jean, is there
something you wanted to tell me?

Yes.

I got a dog! [Laughing]

Well, that is a
surprise. [Chuckles]

You got a dog?
That's the big news?

Yeah. Oh, don't you
just love her, brock?

- Guess her name.
- Cat food?

Brock! Her name is brock!

You named her brock?
Get a short leash.

You named the dog
brock? But... But it's a girl.

Well, she spells it with a "q."

Oh! Does broq wanna
live with barbra jean?

Huh? Yes, broq
does. Yes, he does.

And you better not hog
the whole bed. No. Oh, no, no.

And not only is she cute,
she is great protection.

Yeah, if you get attacked
by a tiny little man.

Oh, no. She is scared of men.

and, yes, I could've
gotten a bigger dog, but...

Stop it, broq. [Chuckling]

But, you know, bigger
dog, bigger mess.

I'm not even sure she poops.

So, barbra jean, honey,

is there anything else
that you wanted to ask me?

You know, anything at
all? I have no idea what.

Mmm... Nope.

Well, I better get home.

It is time for broq's
worm medication.

[Whispering] it's rectal.

Reba, I can't thank you
enough for the idea.

if you hadn't suggested I get a
dog, you know, I'd still be lonely.

Does broq wanna
give reba a kiss?

[Babbling gibberish]
no, I didn't think so.

No, I didn't think so, 'cause
broq only loves barbra jean.

[Baby talk] yes, she
does. Yes, she does.

Maybe you oughta get a cat.

And that's how it was.

Wow. Well, I guess
my life is better...

Than growing up in a rebel
camp in the jungles of colombia.

Mom, thanks for raising me with
a roof, heat and running water.

Penny, that was amazing.

No big deal. I
grew up in seattle.

You know, I'm kinda gettin'
used to havin' you around.

Would you hand me the
garbage under the sink?

I would love to, but
I don't work for you.

[Snoring] [door opens]

[Sighs] cheyenne.

Cheyenne? Honey, wake up.

[Horn honks] [yelps]

How's your class goin'?

Oh, no. Mom, I
was just so tired.

I only meant to close my
eyes for, like, five minutes.

I was in this dream where van
bowled so much, all his teeth fell out.

You ever have that one?

Cheyenne, you're stretchin'
yourself way too thin.

Oh. It's more than
stretching, mom.

It's cardio. It's diet.
It's a lot of work.

I meant with your classes.
Honey, you gotta slow down.

I don't have a choice. I have to
graduate early. I'm the breadwinner now.

What? Yeah. My
husband's not working.

I have to pay the bills and...
And put a roof over our heads...

And buy clothes and
food and everything.

Oh, honey, no, you don't.

I do.

Cheyenne, pushing yourself beyond
your limits isn't gonna help anything.

I don't know what else to do.

Talk to your husband.
Tell him how you feel.

What kind of wife
do you think I am?

My husband is going
through a very difficult time,

And the last thing he
needs is me on his back.

He has a weak spine.

He has a narrow spine.

Your father has the weak spine.

How am I supposed to
tell my husband that...

That I think his
life has peaked?

That... That his best
days are behind him?

Well, you don't have
to say it like that.

[Sighs] van had a great
time playin' football.

But it wasn't gonna last
forever. He'll find somethin'.

Maybe nothin' as glamorous as
football, but life isn't about glamour.

It's about finding the little moments of
joy that you can share with your family.

Oh, I know. I just... I feel
like we've had such bad luck.

No, no, no. You've
had good luck.

Bad luck would've been if
the doctors hadn't of found it,

And van could've
really gotten hurt.

- I never thought of it
like that.
- Mm-hmm.

Thanks, mom.

You're welcome.

Top that, penny.

Here ya go. Mm-hmm.

So, more salt? Huh?

Yeah.

Hey, barbra jean. Hey.

Uh, gee, honey.

Do you really think it's sanitary
to have a dog up on the counter?

Well, of course it
is. Here, taste this.

- It needs a little salt.
- Yeah.

- Oh!
- [Barking]

Broq, no! Hey, but i...

No, not you, brock. Broq.

That is just so funny.
She only does that to you.

And yet, with one stomp of
my foot, I could put an end to it.

Can't we put the dog out
in the yard or something?

No! Gosh.

It's dark out there. Now,
you are both important to me,

And I want you to get to
know each other better.

Now, you go sit down,
and I'll get the appetizers.

Okay?

Yeah.

Say something nice to her.

[Growling]

You know, my favorite part
of old yeller was the ending.

- Brock!
- Well, what? I can't talk to a dog!

[barking]

What is wrong with you? Why
are you being so hostile to her?

Because I was here first. What?

Why'd you get a
dog, barbra jean?

Because you need a
license to get a monkey.

You never wanted a dog before.

Well, I was never lonely before.

Yeah, but you don't
have to be lonely.

We've been making
really good progress.

I thought that you were
gonna invite me to move back.

Instead, you replace
me with... Broq.

Well, I got scared. Okay?

You know, suddenly... Suddenly,
everything just became very real to me,

And, brock, I kept thinking,
what if you do come back...

And I get all happy
like I was before,

And then everything
just falls apart again?

[Crying] I really
couldn't take that.

Honey, I love you.

I'm not gonna let things
fall apart. I swear.

- You promise?
- I promise.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

[Sighs] I love you, barbra jean.

Oh! I love you too, brock.

Well, not you,
broq. "Brock" brock.

Right. You know what?

I just realized this
could get confusing.

From now on,

I'm gonna call you... Reba.

I love it. I love it.

Say, can we put reba outside?

Oh! I think so.

There you go, reba.

[whining]

Reba, no! No!

[video game lasers firing on tv]

Oh!

We need to talk, now.

This has been coming
for a long time.

Bring it on, cheyenne.

- Not you. Him!
- [kyra] stop yelling.

You know who has the right to
yell? 15,000 Refugees, that's who.

Okay, who wants to go upstairs
and play a nice game of monopoly?

Monopoly is the
game of capitalist pigs.

¡viva la revolución!
that's what I'm sayin'!

All right. Parcheesi it is.

What's goin' on?
It's about the nanny.

Let me guess. You
wanna get rid of her?

- No. No, actually,
I wanna keep her.
- Really?

Yeah, yeah. We're
gonna need someone...

To help us take care of elizabeth
while you're lookin' for a job.

A job. What is it with everybody
wanting me to get a job?

- I'm not ready.
- Well, when are you
gonna be ready, van?

I don't know, cheyenne.
Forgive me if I'm not rushin' out...

Looking for a job that I'm gonna
hate to replace the one I loved.

You can't fish for
the rest of your life.

I can if someone teaches me.

- Van, I thought that
you were adjusting.
- Well, I'm not.

I'm doin' all this stuff to distract
myself so I don't just sit here...

And... And think about how
screwed up everything is.

Football was all
I knew, cheyenne.

I just...

I think I need to be
lost for a little while.

[door closes]

- Cheyenne, is everything okay?
- Yeah. Everything's great.

Dinner is ready.

You know what? I'm gonna get
lost after the chicken mole.

- Is that dinner for me too?
- Sure, you too.

Will you show me where
you keep the cheese grater?

I'd love to, but I
don't work for you.

acme! [Coughing]