03x04 - The Best and the Blondest

[bunniefuu]

[laughing] oh, reba.

That was so much fun.

I just love the park. You and I
should have play dates more often.

That wasn't a play date. I was hidin'
behind that tree when you found me.

Why wouldn't you go on the
teeter-totter with me, you spoilsport?

Well, I thought somebody
should watch the kids...

And explain you to
the other mothers.

And there's my sweet
little bundle of perfection.

Aw. You can call me mom.

Well, how was the
campus career fair?

Oh, wait. Let me guess.

It was just fair.

So tell me about
it. What was it like?

Uh, the campus career
thing was awesome.

Informative, yet fun.
There were balloons and...

And careers and people
talking about careers. [Chuckles]

Really?

Any promising leads on what you might
wanna do with the rest of your life?

Tons. But they said it's
bad luck if you talk about it.

Yeah.

You didn't go.
Dang it, cheyenne!

There's a bad moon
risin'. It's go time, hank.

Okay. Look, mrs. H. We were
on our way to the career fair,

But our path was blocked
by this huge outdoor concert.

yeah, and at first we
thought that was career day.

By the time we realized that it
wasn't, the real one was over.

So, you were supposed
to pick a career...

So you could choose a major
so you could have a future.

- So?
- So instead,

You start the first day of the rest
of your life by going to a concert!

Mom, it was one career fair.

What is the big deal? The big
deal is you have a baby now.

Which means you don't get
to be the college student...

In the beer helmet
sayin', "party, whoo-hoo!"

It's like she was there.

You have to start takin'
responsibility, make hard choices.

Stop actin' like children and
start actin' like you have one!

That guy in the beer helmet
was my guidance counselor.

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

♪♪ [Humming]

[Chuckles]

Okay, coin wrappers.

As I like to say, "let's roll!"

Why can't we just take the penny
jar down to the grocery store...

And dump it in the
sorting machine?

Or maybe we could
go to the bathroom...

And flush eight cents on
the dollar down the toilet.

Roll.

- [knocking]
- dad, do you have a minute?

Aw, if it were only any
time other than coin time.

What can I do for you,
honey? Mom yelled at me.

You know what
always cheers me up?

Rollin' nickels.

With me, it's scotch. So,
what happened, honey?

She's all over me about
the stupid rest of my life.

Just because I
haven't picked a major.

Your mom's always
been like that.

She used to ride me about
mowing the lawn every week.

I mean, every other week is
fine. But would she let it go? No.

It was always,
“grass, grass, grass!"

And garbage. And
dishes. But mostly grass.

You know, brock. We should
help her. What are your interests?

Well, she likes nail
polish and shopping.

She should major
in rocket science.

Or I could major
in shut up, kyra.

You know, cheyenne, I didn't always
wanna be a thrifty, stay-at-home mom.

At one point, I wanted
to be a meter maid.

But they wouldn't
let me carry a g*n.

Well, I don't know
what I wanna do.

I mean, I like money. How did
you decide to become a dentist?

Well, I knew I wanted to make a
good living and have flexible hours.

Okay. Well, that's a start.

And I really wanted
to be my own boss.

That's what I
wanna be... A boss.

Being a dentist lets you be all those
things. Plus you get to help people.

- It's very rewarding.
- Those are the things you
should look for in a career.

- Okay, I'll do it.
- Do what?

Become a dentist.

First you have to be
able to spell "dentist."

I'll tell you what I can
spell... Shut up, kyra.

Cheyenne, honey,
it's a big commitment.

Are you sure you
wanna do this? Yes!

I used to love coming to see you at
the office. Plus I'd learn from the best.

[Chuckles] I'm not the
best. Am I the best?

Best dentist and best daddy.

[sighs] hey! For
the future dentist.

Oh! Go out and buy yourself
some monogrammed drool bibs.

I did, and I never regretted it.

Hey, if we get you
and jake to join her,

We could be those "four out of
five dentists" that recommend stuff.

Come on. Let's go tell mom.

She is gonna be absolutely
thrilled that I finally picked a major!

Come on, kyra. Don't you wanna hear
what your mom has to say about all this?

Oh, we're only four houses
down. I'm pretty sure I'll hear.

Hey, mom. What are you doing?

I'm trying to help your
sister with her career choice.

Shouldn't she be here?

No, honey. I want it
to be the right one.

Well, I know what I
wanna be... An accountant.

- Really? Why an accountant?
- 'Cause jeffrey's dad
is an accountant.

And he has a jet ski!

Oh, cheyenne. I'm
glad you're back.

I wanted to go over some
possible majors that I found for you.

- No need, reba. It's already done.
- Yeah.

Dad and barbra jean
helped me pick a major.

Oh, great. Bring in the
experts. That's what I always say.

okay. Well, after a lot of soul searching
and some really good bonding time with dad,

I decided I wanna be a dentist!

[Screams, laughs]

- Isn't it great?
- Yeah!

[Laughing]

Oh, you had me there.
I got one for you.

Maybe van should be governor.

No, no. No, mom. I'm
serious. I wanna be a dentist.

Oh. Really? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

[chuckles] whoo-wee!

Well, what did your
dad say to you...

To make you choose such
a perfect, perfect career?

Well, he was talking about
what he loved about his job...

And I realized I
loved "dentisting."

It's... It's dentistry.
Whatever.

Well, that's great. And I'm
sure you guys talked about...

How cheyenne doesn't care
for science, math or teeth.

[Chuckles] a dentist!

Yeah! Sure.

We didn't really talk all that
much. It just kinda happened fast.

I can't wait to tell
van. Thank you, daddy.

- Oh, you're welcome, sweetie.
- Uh-uh-uh.

Oh, I'm sorry. Dr. Sweetie.

Yeah! Van, wake up!
I'm gonna be a dentist!

What were you
thinking, you boneheads?

Oh, excuse me. Dr. Boneheads.

Reba, I'm not a doctor.

You know, I don't think it's such a
bad idea, her wanting to be a dentist.

Brock, it takes eight
years to become a dentist.

She's never gonna stick with something
that long. I don't think that's true.

Okay. She took piano,
ballet and karate.

She can't play, she can't
dance, and jake can take her.

Yeah, well, she
was younger then.

Maybe she's learned if
she wants to accomplish

Anything, she's gonna
have to stick to it.

That's how I learned to
fit seven eggs in my mouth.

And besides, you know, I feel that we
must encourage our children at all costs.

Yeah, when they're six and wanna
fly a cardboard box to the moon!

Reba, a child can do
anything she sets her mind to.

Except shrink eight
inches. I can tell you that.

[Grunts]

So what? You're saying
that I'm a bad parent...

For encouraging our
child's dreams, is that it?

Yeah. You're a bad parent.

A good parent matches
the dream to the child.

So they won't get
hurt or disappointed.

Not every child can
be an astronaut...

Or jam seven plums
into their mouth!

Eggs.

And it would've been
eight, but I sneezed.

How do we know cheyenne's dream
is unrealistic until she tries it?

Oh, you're right. Yeah. I'm sure
cheyenne will be great at "dentisting."

I can see the sign now.

"Cheyenne montgomery.
Teeth taker-outer." Hoo-hoo!

She misspoke.

Okay, brock. Here's the
deal. You talked her into it.

You get to talk
her out of it. No way.

Oh, yes way. Because I
know how this happened.

She went cryin' to you
because I yelled at her.

And instead of backing me up like
you should have, you agreed with her.

That is so wrong.

And I bet you even
brought up the grass thing.

Now this is just
insulting. Excuse me.

Fine. Maybe you can let her waste a
year of her life, but I'm not goin' to.

oh, reba. Don't you
worry about a thing.

i'm gonna brew a pot of tea, and we
are gonna have a nice long chat about it.

Why don't we do that
over at your house?

Oh! Okay.

I got lemon zinger,
orange pekoe.

I've got an organic peppermint.

Hi. But I don't need
career counseling.

- I already decided
what I wanna major in.
- When?

In the car when we were
at that really long light.

I wanna major in
marketing. You know why?

Because they hang out with accountants,
and the word is those guys have jet skis.

All I'm sayin' is a career counselor
will just give us a little confirmation.

I just think it's a waste of time when
we already know what we wanna do.

Dentist. Marketer guy. Mm-hmm.

hey! Maybe I could do the
marketing for your dental office.

I'm seeing a campaign.

It's not coming to me.

Cheyenne, when you said you wanted
to be a dentist, it got me thinkin'.

If you're willing to put that much effort
into it, why not sh**t a little higher?

Maybe like a brain surgeon.

Whoa! Now that's
somethin' I could market.

I got nothin'.

I hear you, mom. I mean, what if I'm
meant to be, like, a molecular biologist...

And supposed to find a cure
for cancer or something?

Exactly.

- Thanks for thinking
I could cure cancer, ma.
- That's what we're here for.

cheyenne and van montgomery?

Hi. hi. It's nice to meet you.

I'm van. Hi, van.

- Who are you?
- I'm reba hart.

I brought the kids down so you can do
that thing we talked about over the phone.

Oh, mrs. Hart. I tried to
explain this to you earlier.

Career counseling is not telling
people what they've chosen is dumb.

This is serious.

My daughter is makin' a big mistake,
and I need you to straighten her out.

Uh-huh. How 'bout I listen to what she's
thinking and then give her some guidance?

Oh, no. She doesn't need any guidance.
She needs a big fat dose of reality.

She thinks she wants to be a
dentist... And you don't like dentists?

No. My ex-husband's
a dentist and...

And you don't want her to be one
because she's following in his footsteps...

And you hate that.

Tell you what I do hate.

It's people finishing
my sentences.

Look, that kid is a
wonderful, sweet girl.

She's the kind of kid that
gets real excited about stuff.

But by the time you buy her the tutu, she's
already wantin' to take karate lessons.

Is that the end
of your sentence?

Yes.

Mainly her father doesn't want
to say anything negative to her.

All right then. I'll
see you in a little bit.

He does that with all the
kids. To tell you the truth,

That is the reason why
kyra moved in with him.

Kyra, now, she's 14 years old...

Mrs. Hart, we have family
counseling just two doors down.

Why don't you take a little stroll over
there while I talk to van and cheyenne?

hey, van. How'd it go in there?

That was tough. Yeah?

I'm not even sure where to find an organ
grinder, let alone get him to take me on.

Hey, there!

Did you pick a
career? I sure did.

And? Dentistry.

Turns out I've
been sayin' it wrong.

No, honey. I don't think
you heard her right.

No, no, no. It's dentistry.

And she told me to go
for it. Isn't that great?

It's unbelievable. That's what it is. I'm
gonna give marie my personal thanks.

Okay. All right.

Oh, marie? Hmm?

[Chuckles] thanks! What
happened in there?

Oh, it's simple. After talking with
cheyenne, I think she could do it.

Now, she knows she hasn't applied herself
in the past, but she wants to correct that.

Now, that boy there...

He is lucky to be indoors.

That's unacceptable. Take those kids
back in and tell them you made a mistake.

[Scoffs] mom, what's wrong?

What's wrong is that so-called guidance
counselor gave you kids some bad advice.

There's no way you
should be a dentist.

And you say your 14-year-old
just moved out? Huh.

So you never really
believed I could do this.

And I bet you were lying
about me curing cancer too.

Cheyenne, those classes cost
money, and in a couple of months...

You'll be wantin' to do something
else, and I'll have to deal with that.

You know what? Thanks
for bringing me down here.

It's good to know someone
believes in me... Just not my mom.

Cheyenne!

Don't worry. I can cheer her up.

Mr. Robotica!

[knocking]

Hi, reba. Oh, look.

It's the guidance counselor
from make-believe land!

Hey, I'm here because
I wanna help, okay?

You know, I was sittin'
out on my porch...

Watchin' the grass grow,
like it's supposed to, and...

And I realized it's not fair for
me to always make you the bad guy.

So I'll talk to cheyenne.

See, I'm sure she thinks being a
dentist is all glitz and glamour.

What cheyenne doesn't know is
that for every guy who pulls a molar,

There are a thousand broken
hearts of people who couldn't cut it.

Oh, hey. Look, I'm glad
you guys are here.

Mom, I thought a lot
about what you said.

Cheyenne, sweetie, I
think I made a mistake.

I'm not really sure
dentistry is the right thing.

I mean, truth
be told, I hate it.

They bite you. The little
kids? They bite you on purpose.

And you can't even smack 'em.

It's okay. I think I know why
mom thinks I can't handle it.

Look, mom, I am flaky
and I don't stick to things.

Wow! Honey, admitting that about
yourself is a step in the right direction.

Don't worry. We'll find you
something. Oh, I already did.

Dentistry.

I'm going for it. Look,
everybody thinks that I can do it.

Everyone but you.

Cheyenne, I wanna
believe in you. But it's hard.

You've got a very well
established track record.

You've been a model flake.

Thank goodness you're back.
Where is the baby's ba-ba, cheyenne?

I looked everywhere,
and I can't find it.

I gave her the green one, but
she threw that. Now it's gone.

And she's pulling on her ear again,
which means she needs the drops.

I don't have the drops. I don't
have the ba-ba. I got nothing!

Van, calm down. I always clip
an extra ba-ba to her binky.

ba-ba? Binky?

listen to us!

She's taken away our ability
to speak like big people.

I so wanna be that guy in the beer
helmet goin', "party, whoo-yeah!"

Van, breathe.

okay? Everything is gonna
be all right. Mommy's back.

it's after 4:00, so you
can give her three drops.

If she keeps pulling on her ear,
though, give her some children's aspirin.

Top drawer, left. Okay.

Elizabeth, mommy's home.
Daddy's gonna be okay!

So I'm going for it.

And if you don't think that I'm
gonna follow through with it,

I'm gonna have to
prove you wrong.

No. Just a minute.

I just realized something.

- Maybe I was wrong.
- Somebody get a video camera.

What do you mean,
maybe you were wrong?

Elizabeth, bein' a mom...
Honey, you're a great mom.

It's not that you can't stick
to somethin'. It's that you don't.

And it's obvious you can do
just about anything you want to...

As long as it's
important to you.

So what are you saying? You'll
support me trying to be a dentist?

Is being a dentist
important to you?

That whole thing about kids biting you,
that was really just for dramatic effect.

We have great hours.

Is it? Yeah, it is.

You sure you wouldn't
rather just take piano lessons?

Mom. Okay.

I'm here to support
you. Thank you.

But if, in a couple of months, you decide
to be a forest ranger, you're on your own.

Whoa! A forest ranger? Cheyenne.

Right. Like I would ever wear
one of those stupid brown hats.

You know, reba, if
we weren't divorced,

This is where we'd hug and
say what a good job we did...

And then discuss what
we're havin' for dinner.

Hey, why don't we do
that over at your house?

You're gonna slam the
door on me, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

acme! [Coughing]