01x08 - Rivalries

[bunniefuu]

yo yo it's time for what do you know

the online game show where yes know what

you know daddy-o I swear that's the

voice of the kool-aid man no way

it's definitely the guy you played Fred

on Scooby Doo sounds more like Noah

Adams from All Things Considered NPR

West Jonah you know in which post

Highlander vehicle did Christopher

Lambert star in 1995 1995 remember the

time your mom drove us to the movies to

see happy gilmore right but she had to

go to her Landmark Forum meeting so she

dropped us off two hours early yeah so

we went to the arcade to k*ll some time

and saw the poster of the old Highlander

guy fighting crime in a bathrobe Mortal

Kombat B is the answer yes there isn't a

question we can't answer here's one

geniuses what's it like to kiss a girl

shut up

to me on my computer

years of our lives our new TV

together going

but anyway

Braco what are you doing what does it

look like today's Saturday and Saturday

means college football college football

means tailgates and tailgates means

respectable early-morning drinking Rocco

it's Friday night we don't have a

football team and why are you wearing a

skirt sometimes I like to feel pretty

man they have this huge pep rally for a

crew race but what are they doing for

the human race

way to go deep stock cookies in Greece

this is so medieval do they really think

we're all gonna get excited just because

some girls in short skirts tell us do

sucks Gympie ghost attack oh yeah I

guess I hate my best friend breakout not

that this rally is truly riveting but I

got to go or I'll be late to play trivia

with hippy and then my pediatrician said

I may be below average in height but I'm

way above average in weight yes they did

mom hey it's nits please enter your

screen hombre time for the Decepticons

to conquer the trivia first once again

pull up a chair nets or take bumps none

sir I know this is silly me being your

right-hand man and all but the way you

in it's play trivia everyday you a

little left out come on huh you know

you're like wedge to my Luke Skywalker

trusty loyal and you never die but knits

and I have a special and unique

friendship you know the kind you and I

could never have he means because we

grew up together it's like we share the

same brain you should have seen us in

high school we were unstoppable oh you

okay what actor played the Riddler in

the 1960s Batman TV series

God how easy

hey oh you uh what do you know fanáticos

get this we're hosting a special

tournament pitting colleges all over the

country against each other we are so

there oh you I'd hate to say anything

that would diminish the joy you two

share together but you don't go to the

same college that sucks but we're a team

maybe you could find another partner

perhaps someone whose friendship you

haven't had for as long as niches but

someone who has demonstrated his

unwavering loyalty and other servility

someone named mum yes but wait you're

talking about yourself aren't you listen

Brody I need a partner for all what do

you know it's an online trivia game

where they ask you questions like who

won the Oscar for Best Actress in 1977

I'll tell you who should have won Sally

Field for Smokey and the Bandit now

don't get that film confused with

Cannonball Run it's a completely

different animal

don't even ask you any good at trivia

Kruger

yeah really do you want to play great

Cal hey I have an idea

you should be my trivia partner you know

I always do anything you say so the

answer's no huh

I'm the new state you mascot guy the

manatee the cheerleaders all voted for

me

well not the guy cheerleaders but

they're not real cheerleaders anyway so

go seek out

Braco what are you doing here I have to

say the tailgating here is kind of weak

whining a fox but at least the lame

asses are your school of trying really I

think the whole rivalry thing is idiotic

don't patronize me knits maybe I don't

go to a real school like you do maybe my

two-year Community College doesn't have

fancy grad schools or computer labs or

books printed after 1974 but I don't

need your stinking pity wait I agree

with you'll eat those words my friend

I'm gonna start a rivalry between state

you in my school by any means necessary

nice work mom knits never did any of

this before a match canta numero 1 Oh

which Star Wars character idat8 hot dog

question - clearly - in what country was

baseball invented I don't know if this

obscure sports trivia okay we can figure

this out

remember the time we were playing D&D in

your basement and your dad came in and

told us if we were normal kids we'd be

outside with the other boys

oh wait that wasn't it's not you really

I think that happened to me - only

seconds left baseball that's the one

where you don't use your hands right I

think so so we should pick a yes

definitely a is the answer but B seems

like it could also be right he's my

favorite letter there's one in my name

silent B ah I don't know

C yes I was going to say C C sounds good

it's a consonant are you gonna agree

with everything I say

sure that sounds great

yippy I'm a little busy here I'm getting

my butt wiped in the qualifying round by

Pat Robertson University

lordy there kid so just take a second I

know I know the answer to this question

but I need you to help me remember what

it is

come on get your face off my screen I

can't see my answers help me first I'll

help you if you help me deal him aren't

you forgetting someone named mum so we

got one wrong did the rebels abandon

Hoffman the going got tough actually

they did

please cow I was up all night playing

trivia cow I'm the manatee and I must

answer the manatee signal it's

desperation time to state the manatees

are in dire need of another bucket if

they're gonna be attacked by an even 40

points yay

here we go

yeah give me some of this I am the

manatee you hear what I said check it

out beat the crap on your mascot good

that's Roy central state to your

community coach this kicked your a*s

looks like we've got a prankster wearing

a t-shirt from a fictitious college

that's right damn it don't mess with us

we're briquette fictitious go back to

your cheating husband are you crazy

40 lashes with a wet noodle that um

Landers sir I need you to focus

we need an answer for question seven now

I think you don't think you push the

buttons nits and I do the thinking so I

should not bothering your captain with

the details I'm delegating this one the

next Nick's it's definitely be it says

it's definitely what the hell nits and I

never get anything wrong

correction sir nits got it wrong yeah

maybe nits is holding us back after all

he does go to a state school guys

shouldn't we be in class class we go to

a state school

check it out I'm in the paper way to go

trivia boy can I have your autograph

fine I'll share my celebrity with

someone who respects the grueling man

sport that is trivia yes let's get me

there and who's calling please

what month it's mean it's right Nitz

sorry but he can't come to the phone

right now he's terribly busy I Rodolfo

you're a miracle worker I think I can

squeeze you in for a few seconds in

about a half hour if you want to hold

Byron Allen wants it

I beat the crap out of your stinking

mascot again now you have no choice but

to defend your honor these maps will

direct your supporting team to central

state Junior Community College which as

this brochure explains is an accredited

NCAA sanctioned place of learning stuff

what he said beat the mascot again that

was cool right head of the Alumni

booster Society to see you sir it is an

honor to meet you yeah yes that your

business son the tech ursin asses never

got the respect the name deserves but

now to you we're going to go with a

winning name the tech ursin Decepticons

and I care because well we want to keep

you happy make sure you keep winning and

keep making us look good I can offer you

whatever you want gold chains cars that

bounce your own religion you want to

make me happy I'm gonna need the limited

edition 16-inch uncle Owen action figure

in the box consider it yours do the

Decepticons month shake the man's hand

he just had his manicure

finally you're too late

oh sorry Rocco I thought it was gimpy oh

I guess you didn't expect a guy from a

Community College to know how to use the

phone what do you want respect

let me talk to cow Rocco you have to

stop beating him up I have to do I is

that a challenge you and your school

will be willing to settle in the field

of Honor with a football team No

hey best party Rocco yeah I do think one

more good one and I'll break yeah that

does bleed when it gets pocket okay guys

see you soon I don't get it count I'm

about to play the most important trivia

game of my life but you'd rather go get

beat up in a sea cow costume this

costume gives me great power that power

to instill school spirit and make people

cheer but along with great power comes

great responsibility

I'd be letting the school spirit down if

I didn't go and the school spirit is a

ghost that will k*ll me if I disobey

ghosts a scary guy fine go have fun with

Rocco okay this is my semi-final match

where were you I tried to call there's

no excuse for being late to a game what

happened to the lean focused competitor

I used to know athlete's foot what the

answer is beep athlete's foot got it

listen don't get mad at me just because

you're jealous I appreciate all you do

for my team even if no one else notices

you're the guy who makes it happen

behind the scenes like the black

Ghostbuster that answer speaks right

beep I can't believe I'm hearing this

I'm going with see here see good I'm the

one who's answering all the hard

questions the ones you know are the easy

ones you know the answer I'm joining the

blank come on let's figure it out okay

remember that comic convention in

eleventh grade with Anthony Daniels and

Kenny Baker only I never went because

you didn't invite me and I was really

pissed and didn't speak to you for a

week and you didn't even know you've

done anything wrong

yeah but what does that have to do with

this everything

go team

yay go team great and only at the

expense of my best friend that means

that show down for trivia supremacy will

take place between team checkers and Jax

and the learning addicts what hello it

should have been you going to the finals

not me you're ten times the trivia

player I am you know I could have sworn

all this was leading up to some kind of

climactic showdown between me and you I

was wrong

the final climactic showdown will take

place between techris and tech hey I

guess we will be playing each other in

the finals after all good luck in my

experience there's no such thing as luck

you're going down I must break you

okay rocky three that's rocky for trivia

master damn everybody knows you can't

use your hands in this sport right

no German dammit

hate me I just beat up your crappy

manatee again it's how Cullen or

nobody cares about school spirit anymore

it's all about the beatings we're gonna

have to do something about that these

for talking gosh I feel like I can tell

you anything man it's yet hello and

welcome to these Oh what do you know

college challenge final webcast live

from Texas intact where's that voice

coming from look at the crowd kind of

make me wanna pee please don't finish my

sentences

charming to the last yes may the best

trivia nerd win that's gonna be me I'm

gonna kick your behind all the way to

the front yeah well your a*s is grass

mister you don't know who you're messing

with nits teen tech it's gonna reach in

your ear and tell you a new nostril

after we eat your unborn choking right

out of your uterus too much hippie what

the hell are we doing are we gonna throw

away a lifelong friendship for trivia

you're right it's just a game a very

important game with the balance of the

universe riding on it but a game

nonetheless

who do we treat being a state state all

these people are here to see me so why

are we here again to see the manatee

just like a dirty tech rat refused to

shake let's wait question one which US

president MacGyver correcto

Uranus no mr. Weatherbee no Uranus no

yeah I gotta give thanks to the big guy

up in the clouds that one's for you

Lando what are you doing I thought we

were both trying to lose ya old fool

only now at the end do you understand

I've been trying to win the whole time I

just didn't know the answers to those

other questions but what about

friendship being more important than

winning I totally agree so you should

still be my friend even if I win and get

uncle Owen everybody wins

as long as you lose that's it I'm

kicking your a*s straight to the house

shut up you had the chance for a piece

of meat but you're washed out so I'm

taking my challenge to the nation since

state was doubt I'm looking for another

college with ba*ls be my colleges rival

you know that the manatee is a gentle

giant with no natural predators I know

that the manatee never goes looking for

a fight but the manatee custom comes

with great power so any college or you

know really tough high school that's

what about the trivia

what do you care you were gonna lose

anyway that's it it's go time nerd boy

okay see [ __ ] come get down yeah

there go my plans to build a school

indoor Kirby I'm not fighting underneath

our costumes we have the same stamp Tech

ursin whatever cards Rocco goes to four

years from now

I bet Rocco in this donkey will have

learned just as much as me my god cows

right what have we done that crazy

manatee speaks nothing but the truth

school spirit doesn't bring us together

it divides us we should all learn to

love one another except for that fat guy

over there he's creepy come on guys

fight mankind thrives on aggression piss

off man oh you so that's it everything's

back to normal

I'm just to absorb all of your ill-will

like some kind of chill will absorbing

absorber that sounds good short no wait

Kippy you treated mump like dirt

apologize fine

I'm sorry apology accepted and I guess I

was pretty rotten to units you were and

I do it again that's my boy well I've

been a jerk too I shouldn't hit calicos

he's a state humanity right on guy I

should have hit him because he's cow

and just so there's no question I was

winning the trivia thing when we were

interrupted so I won and it's lost yeah

loser

I remember

yeah

I'm here today

oh you