02x19 - The Wall

[bunniefuu]

[Roars] feel the
power of senor frog!

- I terminate you!
- [Laughs]

Let me go.

Jake, take it easy on your dad.
Those are some brittle bones.

Ah. I think I got
him this time, reba.

Soda? Why, thank you.

- Sucker punch, jake!
- No!

I win!

I don't know, brock. You
always fall for the soda trick.

Yeah. You think I'd have
learned after all these years.

[Laughs] okay, you
can leave now.

- Adios, senor frog.
- [door opens]

hey. There he is, mr. Football.

And his wife, mrs. Football.

hey, guys. Remember
baby football?

Oh. That should
be your nickname.

So how was your first day back?

Oh, coach says, "montgomery,
you're slow, fat and stupid."

[Chuckles] one day, and coach
already knows my name.

attaboy. Jake?

You better sleep with one eye
open! Ah ha ha ha! See you guys later.

Hey, you know what's fun
after a hard day at school?

Taking care of your baby.
Oh, come here, sweetie.

Mommy is gonna miss
you so much tonight.

What? Why are
you gonna miss her?

We're going to dinner with van's
parents to a fancy french restaurant.

yeah, I don't know
about that, cheyenne.

I know my parents have been cool
the last few times we've seen 'em,

But, you know, it's
still weird for me.

van, this is important. We're trying
to build a bridge between us and them.

While you're busy building your
bridge, who's gonna watch elizabeth?

Well, we're kind of busy,
and... You're kind of not.

Guys, you can't just assume that I'm
always gonna be here to watch elizabeth.

- I mean, what if
I had plans for tonight?
- Yeah, good one.

Oh, all right. I'll
watch her this time.

But you guys have got to start taking
more responsibility for your child.

Thanks, mom. You're the
best. Bye, angel. [Kisses]

Say bye-bye. Say bye-bye-bye.

Okay, it's just me and you, kid. It's
time to wrestle. A one, a two, a three.

[Screams, imitates expl*si*n]
oh, you dominate.

[Babbles] [laughs]

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

Oh, mom. You gotta see the one of elizabeth
sleeping. That's a really cute one.

Oh! There it is.

Yep, and that's the one of her crying
after van insisted we take the picture.

She looks just like van
did. We have missed so much.

But we're here now.
And... We have a camera.

Hey, van. Why don't you take a
picture of us looking at the pictures?

Okay, I got a bucket
of chicken for dinner.

i know it's not
snooty french food,

But it does come
in a "la buckette."

[laughs] hi, dan, sue.

- Hello, reba, "ki-ra."
- It's "kyra." Thanks again, mom.

Hi there. My parents wanted
to come by and see the baby.

[Chuckles] great.

She's right over here.

[Chuckles] van, I think now's a good time
to take a picture of the lucky grandma.

Oh, no. I just got in from
work and my hair's a mess, but...

Oh.

Reba, we know it's dinnertime, and we
really don't want to overstay our welcome.

Oh, no. Stay. I mean, I got a
family pack and three sides.

Here, you can have my
biscuit. Oh, thanks. We'll pass.

but we do have something we
wanna give elizabeth. Van, cheyenne.

I know we've missed some
earlier photo opportunities,

But here's a little something we
hope will help create some new ones.

Oh, thank you. It's a key.

Welcome to this week's episode
of cheyenne identifies objects.

"Dearest elizabeth: this key
will unlock stable number eight...

At the bobolink pastures, where
you'll find your very own pony."

- A pony?
- A pony?

A pony? [Squeals]

- Wow, what a gift.
- [cheyenne] oh, my god.

Well, it's a very nice gift,
but it isn't very practical, is it?

I mean, who's gonna
take care of him, 'cause

I sure don't have time
to watch a pony too.

Oh, no. The... The people at
the stable will watch her.

And you know, couple
of those guys are single.

[Chuckles] but is that a
really good gift for a baby?

I mean, a wild animal?

You guys, we should
take elizabeth to pet it

So she gets to know
it before she rides it.

It's perfect. [door opens]

Because those dragonflies
love each other, that's why.

Hi, mom. Hi, mr. And
mrs. Montgomery.

- Hey.
- Hey, sue, dan.

Dad, van's parents
bought elizabeth a pony.

What? Isn't that amazing?

I've always wanted a pony,
and now my daughter has one.

Oh, honey. I wanted to get you a pony when
you were little, but... Your mom said no.

Yes, and no offense, but
rather than giving you gifts,

We decided to give you love
and kindness and affection.

yeah, but you can't ride
love at the state fair.

No, you can't!

Can we go ride the
pony? I don't see why not.

- Can I go too?
- Jake, don't you have homework?

Not if I can ride a pony.

- We'll all go.
- Oh, how exciting.
- Let me grab the chicken.

Hello, honey. I can hardly wait to
get a picture of you on your new pony.

and then maybe afterwards,
we can go back to our house,

So you can see where your
other grandparents live, huh?

- What?
- Oh, no. That's a great idea.

- That way mom
won't have to watch her.
- I don't have any plans.

No, this is perfect. Maybe you
guys can watch elizabeth sometimes,

So mrs. H doesn't
always have to.

Oh, don't call me mrs. H. My name is
grandma. And I'm happy to watch her.

We'll be glad to pitch
in. Let's go, everybody.

[Van] whoo!

Let's go. Where are you going?

I wanna go see the pony.

Yeah. Who doesn't love
a pony? I love ponies.

Hope y'all get there
and it's a big ol' fat dog.

Okay, ready? Ready.

All right. Touchdown! Yahoo!
Raise the roof. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Praise the man upstairs.

Spin the ball and
break-dance around it.

[Vocalizing]

Well, somebody found a quarter.

For your information,

We are practicing the official
van montgomery touchdown dance.

Well, the good news is
you won't be doing it much.

You know what this
needs? My batman costume.

Hey, football star. You wanna walk
your lucky wife to class this morning?

- My friends
are dying to meet you.
- I'm sorry, honey. I can't.

I have to hit the weight room, and
then I have to make up a math test.

Well, maybe we can have lunch. The
board of health reopened the cafeteria.

No. No, I'm supposed to watch game film
during lunch. But hey, I'm free at 2:00.

- Oh, my last class is at 2:00.

But after...
- I have practice after.

Can't you take the day off?

take the day off? Sure,
let me just ask coach.

"Hey, coach. Can I
take the day off?"

"Why, montgomery? So you can
get slower, fatter and stupider?"

No. Nope. Nope, coach says no.

But I thought we'd be together.

well, you can
walk me to the gym.

I don't wanna walk you to
the gym. Who's gonna see us?

What's the point of being
married to a big football star...

If nobody's gonna
see us together?

- Kyra, do you mind?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just dying to know
how this all turns out.

Listen. Cheyenne, listen.

Coach says if I work real hard, I
have a chance to make it to the nfl.

You know what that means.

even if I'm a scrub, that
leads to announcing gigs.

And then the big
jackpot: infomercials.

But, van, infomercials are on at night.
Then we would never have dinner together.

I tell you what.
Tonight... Yeah?

We'll have dinner, just
me and you. I promise.

Okay, it's a date. All right.

Whoo! It's gonna be okay.
Everybody, it's gonna be okay.

But I forgot to mention that elizabeth
likes her apple juice at room temperature.

Well, no, if grape
juice is all you have, it

Doesn't really have to
be room temperature,

'Cause elizabeth
hates grape juice.

Okay. Fine.

[Phone beeps] yeah, you'd
know best after three hours.

- Hey, reba.
- Hey, barbra jean. That looks heavy.

Oh, it is. Real heavy. The
beams are made of real oak.

Wow. It's a beauty. Thanks for
bringing it by and showing me.

- Oh!
- [knocking]

Good one. [Laughs]
it's for elizabeth.

Oh. Where is she?

She's with the big shots
who got her the pony.

Right now they're probably out
gettin' prices on a baby elephant.

Well, I think a little girl likes
a dollhouse more than a pony.

I mean, for one thing,
no poop. [Chuckles]

Oh, for the tenth time,
cheyenne, I'm exhausted.

We'll have a romantic
dinner another night.

We should go get
elizabeth. I think she's

Spent enough time with
her other grandparents.

But, van, you promised.

Mom, will you please tell van that a big
sack of tacos is not a romantic dinner?

Or can you tell her that a big sack of
anything is romantic when you're in love?

Or you could both take a look at
the beautiful dollhouse I got elizabeth.

Oh, yeah. Look.

Football and school are like workin'
two jobs, and arguing with you makes three.

Now, I'm tired. I'm gonna go upstairs
and eat and sleep. Chicken or beef?

- Vegetarian!
- What?

She said vegetarian. And seriously, guys,
it's time for elizabeth's apple juice.

Well, if you wanted vegetarian,
why didn't you ask for vegetarian?

I did ask for vegetarian. Ha!

Well, guess what! I
wasn't listening! Ha back!

Can you believe him? [Staccato] no, I
can't. We should go get your daughter.

- Mom, I'm sure she's fine.
- I don't think so.

Those people don't have the first
clue about how to take care of a baby.

And they sure don't
wanna hear about it either.

Mom, you have your
way, and they have theirs.

I think I know what's
best for my child.

[Sighs, chuckles] I
mean, your child.

Can't we just go get
her? I don't like this.

Well, you're gonna
have to learn to like it,

Because she's spending
the night over there.

You're lettin' her have a
sleepover on a school night?

Barbra jean, did you hear that?

Earthquake!

[Cackles]

Elizabeth is not ready to
spend the night over there.

This is absolutely
wrong, barbra jean.

- You're right, reba.
- I'm not talkin' to you.

We have got to get that baby
away from those pony people.

If they're in, I'm out.

What? Why would you say that?

Because they're
real grandparents.

You and brock are real
grandparents to elizabeth.

I'm just a young, attractive woman
that married her grandfather.

How can you be so selfish?

- This isn't about you. It's about me!
- Ow.

I do her bedtime routine.

Apple juice, bath
time, two silly stories,

Give her a blanket
and she's out.

Right about now, she's spittin' out
grape juice and cryin' for grandma reba.

And the young, attractive
woman that married papa brock.

Oh, my gosh. They don't
have elizabeth's blankie.

She can't go to sleep
without her blankie.

Of course not. A blankie
is like scotch to a child.

I'm gonna go give it
to her. Yeah, let's go.

Why do you think I'd
let you go with me?

Because if things get rough,
you're gonna need some muscle.

Okay, but I call the shots.
Batman, robin. Got it?

[No audible dialogue]

[Ringing on receiver] no answer.
Where could they have gone?

Well, I see some light.
Someone must be home.

Oh no, wait. That's
the gatehouse. Oh!

Man, they should be answering
their phone. [Phone beeps, rings]

I don't like this. I mean,
what if we were ed mcmahon,

And we were here
with a big fat check?

Yeah, like they
need it. [Scoffs]

[Gasps] oh, god. I hope they didn't
sell elizabeth on the black market.

A healthy baby
brings a pretty penny.

No answer. What if they're in there
and they're havin' a swingers party?

Do you know where
brock is tonight?

Let's go home.
This is a crazy idea.

Oh, no. The reba I
know doesn't give up.

The reba I know
would scale that wall...

And give those people a
blankie and a piece of her mind.

Oh, barbra jean. no, reba.
I'm going over the wall.

- Give me a boost.
- Me boost you? You'd pound me
into the ground.

There'd be just this little
head down here in the dirt.

Well, we're not leaving until this
blanket is in front of that door.

We came to perform a mission,
and our mission is incomplete.

Oh, what's that I hear,
reba? A tiny cry in the night?

"Grammy weba, I
want my blankie."

[Imitates baby crying]
all right. All right.

Let's get this over
with. Gimme a boost.

All right. Okay. Okay. Come on.

[Grunts] oh, god. Yeah.

[Grunting] watch the mascara.

- [Grunting continues] - little
higher. Just a little bit higher.

- Yeah.
- Oh, I see a light.

Oh! What'd you...

Dad-blam it, I almost had it.

Well, I just started at bally's.
I can't hold you that long.

All right. Just give me one big
push and I can do the rest. Okay?

Okay. Right. Right.

Here we go. And hyah! Okay.

Come on, batman. [Grunting]

Hey, did you get new shoes?

- Okay, I got it. Rest's a piece of cake.
- All right.

[alarm blares] [man] perimeter
violation. The police have been called.

- Barbra jean, help me down.
- Jump, reba!

- I can't. It's too high.
- Well, just shut your eyes
and jump!

- Barbra jean, help me down.
- perimeter violation.

- I can't take another hit
on my police record!
- Barbra jean!

Barbra jean!

[dan] who's there?

reba?

Oh. Hi, dan. [Chuckles]

Could you help me find my frisbee?
I think it flew over into your yard.

♪♪ [Piano on tv]

Why are you watching pbs?

If you tell me what pbs stands
for, I'll tell you why I'm watching it.

I know what pbs stands for.

It's not "peanut
butter sandwich."

[knocking]

Hey, kids. Hey, is
barbra jean over here?

No. Good. Make sure you
tell her I was looking for her.

Why are you watching pbs?

If you tell me what
pbs stands for...

Forget it.

Hey, where's van?

He's at school
watching game tapes.

That kid's really committed
to this thing, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah? [Laughs, sighs]

- Could you get him to quit?
- What?

At first I thought him playing football
again would be great, but it's terrible.

I never see him, and when I
do, he's exhausted or sweaty.

I know it's hard right now,
angel, but he's countin' on you.

You know, when I was going to
dental school and workin' nights,

Your mom was the only
thing that got me through.

This is about your marriage? You
do remember how it ended, right?

Yeah. Even though those
were our toughest times,

The fact that we sacrificed for each
other, that just brought us closer.

Until you got divorced.

Right. Until we got
divorced. Give me a break.

You know, it's possible I learned
a few things from our mistakes.

Do you think I'm making a mistake about
bugging van to spend more time with me?

Well, cheyenne, do you think he
loves you less when he's not with you?

Of course not. And do you think
that once football season's over,

He's gonna do everything he can to
make up for the time you missed together?

- Yes. Yes.
- Well, then I say...

Save your naggin' until
it'll do you some good.

- I said bugging.
- Whatever.

- Thank you, daddy.
- I'm glad I could help.

But what do I
know? I got divorced.

- Dan, what-what-what was it?
- Hey, sue.

reba, how can I
put this delicately?

What the hell were you
doin' on top of our wall?

Well, I wouldn't have had to been on your
wall if you'd just answered your phone.

Well, we were getting so many helpful
phone calls, we finally unplugged it.

- Thereby forcing people
onto your wall.
- [Scoffs]

Okay. Maybe I did
call one or five times,

But I was just
concerned about the baby,

Who is somewhere unsupervised.

She is sleeping in the nursery.

She can't be sleepin'.
I've got her blankie.

By all means, let's wake
her up and give it to her.

She's fine. You know,
we have raised a son.

And you did a great
job. He's a fantastic kid.

- But elizabeth
is my granddaughter.
- She's our granddaughter too.

Right. For the last
couple of weeks.

Okay. We get it.

We haven't been around. You...
You can stop rubbing it in, reba.

We already feel inferior to you.

[Exhales] really?

of course. You've been like elizabeth's
second mother. We're practically strangers.

- Rich strangers.
- What has that
got to do with anything?

Hey. Children can be bought.

Heck, my kids are already liking
y'all better than they like me.

Reba, you have
nothing to worry about.

You have been with elizabeth
every second of her life.

Which do you think
she's gonna remember...

Her first 10 months of care
and love or her first pony?

I guess I was just
a little jealous.

Reba?

Would you like a pony?

No, but those little mini
coopers are really cute.

Look, I'm really sorry I scaled
your wall. Y'all are doin' a great job.

Reba, we're not going
to do anything that

Takes away from what
you have with elizabeth.

We're just so grateful
to be back in her life.

We're glad to have you.

Reba, did you know we
call you "super grandma"?

[Laughs] well, I don't
like to wear the cape.

[Laughs] see ya.

[barbra jean] ca-caw! Ca-caw!

[loud whisper] batman,
are you in there?

Who is that?

I have no idea.

But if you have any dogs, now
would be a good time to release 'em.

acme! [Coughing]