01x15 - You May Kick the Bride

[bunniefuu]

Who hears wedding bells?

Isn't it bad luck for the ex-wife to
see the bride before the wedding?

We just stopped by to
drop off outfits for the kids.

- there's my bridesmaid!
- and there's my best man.

I am so proud to
give you away, coach.

You're gonna love
the dress I picked out.

Look, mom. It-it's
purple taffeta.

[Giggles] shiny, purple taffeta.

You seem surprised.

Now, I know you're still on the
fence about being in the weddin',

But I think this dress
might change your mind.

I had them stitch in a
little padding, you know.

I'll just hang it on your chair.

And here are the tuxes for my
best man and for my ring bearer.

Why don't I get to
be your best man?

Well, son, the ring bearer
is a very important job.

You have to carry the
rings on a shiny satin pillow.

Sounds like a girl job.

All right, enough wedding
talk. I'm getting all misty.

Come on. Time to get
ready for school.

And, reba, I didn't want
you to feel left out.

You know I think of you
as family. Yeah. Stop that.

So, here.

You can r.s.v.p. Now if you'd
like. Catfish or chicken?

[Chuckles] I know this kinda
sounds right out of left field,

But I'm not getting within a
hundred yards of this wedding.

♪ There's gonna be cake ♪

♪ No ♪♪

Please? It would mean
so much if you were there.

My family isn't coming. They don't
know I'm... [Whispering] with child.

i thought I'd just send them
a nice picture of the wedding.

You know, a close-up. [Giggles]

Well, we really
have to be going.

Hey, listen. Don't worry if you
miss the wedding. Maybe next time.

Oh, he makes me laugh.
Did he make you laugh?

I'm laughing right now.

♪♪ [country]

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands and
the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

[cheyenne] mom! [gasps]

I look like a
giant, puffy bruise.

No, honey, you
look... You look, um...

Can you believe this bow?

She said that it would draw
the eye away from the baby.

What'd you say? I'm sorry. I didn't hear
you. I can't take my eyes off that bow.

Mom, you have to help me. I
cannot be seen in public like this.

What do you want me to do? It's
your father's wedding. Ask him for help.

I already did. All he said was
I didn't have to wear the hat.

There's a hat?

[Chuckles] call me crazy,

But I don't think it's my place to be
sewin' dresses for my ex-husband's wedding.

Oh, yeah. You're
right. I understand.

I-i am just your daughter and I'm
gonna be seen out in public like this...

And you know, i-i guess
you know what's best.

Presumably you love me.

Oh, all right.

Maybe I can do something
with this, and take care of that,

And take a little
bit of this off...

And I can make six more dresses.

Mom, this is not funny.

Oh, come on, cheyenne.

You're gonna have to have
a sense of humor with this.

I can't work
miracles. But I'll try.

Thank you, mom. Van, mom's
gonna help me fix my dress.

Cheyenne, I thought we agreed not to talk
about the wedding in front of your m-o-m.

It's okay, van. I'm fine.

Mrs. H, we know you must
feel horrible. You've been jilted.

Yeah, and for someone who
thinks this dress is fashionable.

- i mean, granted she's younger, but...
- stop making me feel better.

We're here to help.

Guys, I've been hearin' about
this wedding for months.

i just want to get the whole
thing over as soon as possible.

Kind of like yanking a band-aid
off a really hairy part of your leg?

Somethin' like that, yeah.

Hey, mom. Hey.

Well, it took me a few hours, but
I've transformed cheyenne's dress...

From a serious bruise
into a festive grape.

- Where's yours?
- I'm not going to
b.j.'S wedding.

- Honey, it's your father's
wedding too.
- So what's the big deal?

I wasn't at his
first one. Ha ha ha.

Kyra, it's important to
your dad that you be there.

So you're saying I have
to be in the wedding?

No. That's totally up to you. But
you should really think about it.

All right, I'll bring you my dress,
but I'm not making any promises.

All right. I'll try to
take some of the ugly

Out of it, but I'm not
making any promises.

- So, I need to ask you
for a little favor.
- No.

- It's for the wedding.
- Once again, no.

- But, reba...
- Brock, I am the ex-wife.

"Ex" as in excuse me,
I'm not interested.

I know. But barbra jean
and I were talking and, well,

It's important to her
that we have your blessing.

Yeah, I know. I feel ridiculous
even askin'. But it's for b.j.

Well, in that case...

Look, I know b.j.'S not your favorite
person. But come on, it's her wedding day.

And it'd mean a lot to her. And it'd mean
a lot to me to be able to make her happy.

Have you tried balloon animals?

Reba, this is serious. She won't
get married without your blessing.

Then you got a
problem. Okay, fine. Fine.

She's gonna want to
postpone the wedding.

That means we'll spend another
five months planning another wedding,

And then we're gonna
be right back here again.

Okay, fine. Bless her,
bless you, bless you all.

Gee, couldn't you say it like
you mean it? I didn't mean it.

Fair enough.

yee-haw!

Wow! You two look spiffy!

Wait a minute.

Sorry, sheriff. You can keep the star,
but you gotta lose them there six-shooters.

But we were gonna play
cowboys and aliens at the wedding.

Cowboys and aliens?

[Whirring]

[Doorbell rings] cheyenne!
Kyra! Get a move on!

Oh, boy. This is a
little awkward.

Kinda hopin' one of the
kids would answer the door.

What's the big deal? I've seen
you on your wedding day before.

[wolf whistle] [reba] oh!

Cheyenne, you look beautiful.
Hey, what happened to the bow?

Oh! That's nice. Kinda
works like a counterweight.

So is kyra coming?

Well, I didn't want to pressure
her, but I did fix her dress,

I laid out her shoes, and I told
her what time you'd be coming.

Would you go get her? I don't
want to be late for my own wedding.

Again.

[barbra jean] yoo-hoo.

Please tell me I'm the
only one that heard that.

Barbra jean, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to be at the church.

don't come in. It's bad
luck. I need to talk to reba.

Glad these aren't loaded.

Great.

Now it's burned into
my brain forever.

Do you like it? sure.

And it's so bold to wear white
after the second trimester.

Reba, I need your blessing. I
already gave you my blessing.

Yeah, well, that's what brock
said, but I need to hear it from you.

Sometimes I'm not sure if brock's
being completely honest with me.

Good instincts.

Reba, I am doing the
right thing, aren't i?

B.j., This is your wedding
day. You should be... Not here.

But I really want to
know how you feel.

No, you don't. Now stop
worrying. You have my blessing.

I do? Sure.

Oh, reba. You are
such a good person.

So good luck, god
bless and good-bye.

Is she okay? She's
great. We had a nice talk.

I feel we connected. See ya!

[sobbing] is that crying?

Oh, mrs. H. Did you hit her?

- I didn't hit her!
- Did you pull her hair?

Barbra jean, are you okay?

the wedding's off.
I can't marry you.

What? oh, I was
talking to brock.

What'd you say to her?
All I said was, "good luck!"

Well, then why is she
calling off the wedding?

Why is she in my kitchen? Why
is she asking for my blessing?

Why does she do anything?

Barbra jean, I'm not gonna
look. I'm just coming in to talk.

Ow!

Well, I gave it some
serious thought,

And I decided that I'm not going
to the wedding. Nobody cares.

Your mom made b.j.
Cry. The wedding's off.

Way to go, mom. All I did
was give her my blessing.

Oh, it's okay, mom. She shouldn't have
come over here to rub salt in your wounds.

- I don't have wounds!
- Sure, not now. You got your wish.

It's not my wish! No, it's my wish.
There must have been a mix-up.

This is crazy. I didn't do anything.
There is going to be a wedding.

The wedding is definitely off.

I don't know what you said to her, reba,
but she doesn't want to marry me anymore.

Well, I guess we
should go change.

Always the bride,
never the bridesmaid.

Okay, freeze. Everybody keep
your clothes where they are.

I'm not taking the rap for this.

What happened to my lasagna?

I'm not getting' married.
Who cares if I'm fat?

I do. That was my dinner.

I'm delighted you're marrying brock.
You have my full and total support.

Reba, you are such
a wonderful person.

So giving and so selfless. I don't
know why brock ever left you.

Maybe it'll come to
you in the delivery room.

If brock left you, what are the
chances he's gonna stay with me?

I couldn't take it if he left me,
reba. I'm not as strong as you.

Which is another one of
your wonderful qualities.

All right, look. None of us
know what's gonna happen.

But just because brock's
first marriage didn't

Work, it doesn't mean
his second one won't last.

Really? If you hadn't noticed,
you and I are very different people.

Maybe you're the one
that's right for him.

Maybe you're right.

I am considerably taller.

And you do tend to nag.

Well, you'll never know if you don't
leave my house. Now, go get married.

Thanks, reba. You
are truly special.

- Won't you please
come to the wedding?
- Don't nag.

The wedding's back
on. Oh, thank god.

Oh, man, talk about an
emotional roller coaster.

I don't know what you said
in there, reba, but thank you.

You're welcome. Now please,
get this wedding over with.

Saddle up, boys. It's
time to get hitched!

Kyra, honey,

Are you sure you don't want
to come to the wedding? I'm sure.

Well, I really would
love it if you were there.

But I understand. I want
you to know it's okay.

Oh, they're gone. Finally.

Well, let's wait 10 minutes
before we start dancing.

I'm so glad I'm not going to be
there, wearing that horrible dress.

That I spent hours fixing.

Still, I was looking forward to
seeing jake burp during the vows.

I told him I'd give him
a quarter. You didn't.

All right, it was a dime.

Wish I'd have thought of that.

So this is really going
to happen, isn't it?

Did you think it
wouldn't if you didn't go?

No. Maybe.

I just didn't want
to be a part of it.

Honey, whether you're there
or not, you're a part of it.

I liked things the
way they were.

That train's already
left the station.

But you've got a mama and a daddy
and a family that loves you very much.

You're not losing that.
You're just gainin' a barbra jean.

How do you make
everything sound okay?

I'm a mom. It's my job.

Well, mom, assuming that I've
decided to go to the wedding,

How am I gonna get there?

All right. It ain't over
till the little man burps.

Mrs. H, do you know
where you are?

Don't panic. I'm not staying.

Oh, hold on. Your bow's crooked.

Kyra, you came.

My previous plans fell through.
And, you know, you are my dad.

You look beautiful. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you, reba. Yeah, yeah.

It's beautiful.

A new mrs. H is born as
another fades into the sunset.

[Sighs] shut up, van.

♪♪ [organ] okay,
best man, showtime!

Wow! You look like
a giant marshmallow.

Thank you. Reba!

Kyra! Oh, I'm so
glad you're here.

I'm not here. I'm
just fixing a bow.

♪♪ [organ]

All right, jake, honey,
you're gonna be fine.

Don't be scared just because a roomful
of strangers and god are all watching you.

All right, girls, you're next.

Those dresses were so
much cuter on the hanger.

- Later.
- Reba, wait.

I think we both know
why you're here.

Because kyra can't drive?

So you really won't stay
and share this day with us?

No. I don't belong here. This is
your day, and you can have it.

♪♪ ["the wedding march"]

[Whimpering]

Oh, my gosh! My dress is
ruined! Oh, what am I gonna do?

I don't think anybody'll
notice. It's not that bad.

What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?

You're gonna march into that
church and get this thing over with.

But, reba, I can't
get married like this.

Yes, you can. I can fix it. I
have a needle and thread.

♪♪ [continues]

Where the heck is she?

Man, I told her to drain the
tank before she suited up.

I wonder if this
is a sign from him.

I tore the fabric of your perfect
family and now I'm being punished.

No, it's not a sign. It's your


Ohh!

A few more stitches and you'll
be on your way down the aisle.

♪♪ [continues] now, go!

Barbra jean! Stop! Stop! Stop!

I'm stitched... I'm stitched
to you! Stop! Barbra jean!

Stop! Ohh!

Look, it's the ex-wife.

Talk about not
being able to let go.

What is mom doing?

I'm so glad I'm
not missing this.

Reba! What are you doing here?

[Nervous chuckle]

What am I doing here?

Well, that's a really
good question.

I tried really hard
not to be here,

But, well, y-you
see, the truth is...

I'm attached in many
ways to this wedding.

I'm attached to my children,
who are attached to their father...

Who's soon to be
attached to barbra jean.

And I guess I can't escape the
fact that I'm a part of this whole...

Whatever we are.

So I want to wish the bride and
groom a happy and speedy union.

Thank you. [Chuckles]

Anything else?

♪ The stars at night
are big and bright ♪

♪ Deep in the heart of texas ♪

♪ The sage in bloom
is like perfume ♪

♪ Deep in the heart of texas ♪

♪ The prairie sky is big and
wide, deep in the heart... ♪♪