01x03 - Splitsville

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Santo Bugito". Aired: September 16, 1995 – August 17, 1996.*
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The show primarily deals with slice of life stories, but often with a strange insect twist.
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01x03 - Splitsville

Post by bunniefuu »

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be

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a

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hey waitress another round of water

please and hurry okay that works for me

going to be

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come on now groy party B do it do it

yeah do it do it would you kindly stop

that okie dokie clam first they just

started a game of Twister come on no

thanks Virgil we're taking a breather oh

check you later

then but Twisters are favorite we got to

go negatory on that buddy we've been

fooling around long enough y ah it's

time we found us some

females oh yeah

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girls yeah yeah that's all right fine

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come

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on now don't you go embarrassing me

again buenos

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dinosaurus uh what he

said nice

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eggs have you tried the fish it's mighty

fine I see and the bo are are so

handsome they like us clim quick uh do

something

interesting you ladies want to see

something weird

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a dog on it Clen I told you before don't

do that eyeball thing in public no more

well you got to admit it is interesting

congratulations Don Juan you just ruined

another party for us

thanks Hey Bert where you going Bert are

you mad Bert hey wait

up I tell you A two friends who parted

today come

moig

always you can smell a wind

blowing I think I must be

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going come on

[Applause]

get him

now give the ball to your grandpa come

on

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go

Tata you

win Tata Paco you are so good we never

beat you ah but someday you will if you

keep

practicing everywhere we go you have to

pull something stupid and make a fool

out of me I'm sorry Bert I was just

trying to do what you told

me what's up with them I would like to

know and that's not the half of it

Carmen see not only did Miguel give me

the flowers and the

candy see

he gave me this k*ller foood massage let

me tell

you we are so happy aren't we

miguela be gentle with your squeezing

he's not fully formed in there yet oh

yeah I forget I just can't keep my wings

off of him oh come on Bert you know I am

sick and tired and tired and sick of you

embarrassing

me uh the usual

Carmen the

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another can I believe my eyes Glen and

bird best of friends

arguing what is happening please I'll

tell you kmen Clen here's wearing out my

patience Big

Time

yep sometimes it's real hard being the

best fly in

town

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uh-oh what do you mean the best fly are

you saying that you're a better fly than

me

oh Bingo

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buddy well I may not be as intelligent

as you but there is one thing I had to

tell you Mr thans he so much better oh

oh yeah what it's that you're you're

you're oh gosh I went and

forgot but whatever it was I meant it oh

yeah

yeah boys why don't we just forget about

this and you have a nice malted mold on

the house see yes please stop you are

really confusing me okay CLM Bert your

friendship is something we all count on

like the sun rising every day like how

salt goes with pepper it is completely

unnatural to see the two of you fighting

yeah yeah yeah who holds the record for

the longest belch at the Kus County fly

Fair me who live for 24 days straight in

Farmer Bob's next St me oh yeah that's

true

see wait a minute didn't CLM lie

unconscious in a POA drool for 3 hours

right yesterday CLM uh he regurgitated

his intestinal tract by

[Music]

mistake it is true he

did well he did oh that was nothing but

a fluke I can do anything you can do

Sporto oh is that right well I bet you

can't even stick to the

wall ha

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yourself all right smarty pants let's

see you do

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this okay what's you know this all about

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what do you think Carman yeah you tell

us who's the best

fly I will not answer such a ridiculous

question I stop being so childish no one

is better than the other only

different how about you Paco who do you

think's the best fly

uh oh great he's doing that thinking

thing again it'll take him all day to

decide all day well I know why don't we

settle this matter once and for all I

propose a fly competition a contest the

ultimate challenge you and me me and you

to see which of us are the best fly

you're on would you care to step outside

after you Burpo

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let's go this way let's

go can you believe it pako I think our

friends are hopeless no see I you said

it hopeless childish

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embarrassing come on Miguel hey wait for

us

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oh yeah buddy I'm the best fly in these

hair parts and I'm going to prove it

let's see you buzz around people

annoyingly like

this that ain't nothing check this

action out

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[Applause]

CLM Bert Bert CLM oh they're both so

very very fly like I I cannot

decide I can it's easy go

B again go

clam you

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can't get him

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clam hey you over

here this is a dung beetle a Wy bug

whose Keen sense of of of of smell

allows it to locate fresh dung or

intestinal waste within seconds of it

being um produced the the male and the

female cooperate together in storing the

dried up dung as food for their

squirming Lara their babies then in the

privacy of their dwelling they Gorge

themselves on the feted matter

[Music]

and Mr and Mrs dheer I'm I'm sorry but

clam and bird have just eaten your house

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I

am the best

fly don't you

think I

am g m I am afraid it is getting

worse they have built something

something

huge now

[Music]

what

it ooh that's got to hurt Jean huh well

there's no doubt about it Vince Clen

Barfly look shaken up yeah that small

error in judgment is going to cost him

Jean and I don't think he's looked the

same since he suffered that groin pull

back in round two oh that's right that

was a better

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

not being you a b

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

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get your clam and BT souvenirs penants

buttons and limited edition bath bag

step right up Miguel Miguel look what I

have little clamp penants one for me and

one for I think Barbara B B oh is that

the way it is after all we've been

through well you can just find your own

way home Sor hey down you know in front

I can't you know see why should I listen

to Jo you're just a bird supporter he's

a better fly than you know CLM is that

so bir you know what I'm saying will

think we are in trouble

[Music]

see well well well where do you think

you're going I'm going to my favorite

place to have lunch nuh you see I'm

going to my favorite place to have lunch

and I ain't sharing it with the lik of

you oh yeah yeah now you listen to me

you mosos Locos no bug is coming in

until you two learn to share

5050

coming fine have it your way yeah

[Music]

fine what are you doing please like you

said Carmen where're

sharing sharing your place and the town

505050 they are not joking me

[Music]

look everything on this side is mine

everything on this side is mine too I

got I Santo bito we are ruined

[Music]

and now our poor old town is

silent nobody moves nobody stirs if only

we could solve our

problems one is called

CL the other bird you are the fly

mama needs a new pair of juice CL clam

clam CL clam

[Music]

clam

yeah had enough

partner not even close

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and I thought you love

me go clam orbert uh no clam no wait uh

B uh just

go ethon do you realize that you have a

white line painted down the center of

your body behold I am one with the town

nay I am Twain with the town divided

split rent into two alas I am

torn can I get you something like a

doctor just the usual please

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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H not bad for the second best fly and

SLE bugo Who you calling second best you

that too oh yeah come on let's go this

town ain't big enough for the both of us

I ain't a scared of

you who it looks like this is it Vince

the final showdown Jean oneon-one fly

versus

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fly cl cl

cl paco What are what are you doing

erasing the line why because I have come

to a

[Music]

decision I am the best

F

no I am the best

fly no oh well if it's not Bert or clim

then who I have this idea

that you two are more disgusting more

annoying and more fly likee when you are

together than when you two are

apart

together good job my

love you're a genius yes thank you thank

you thank you thank you for ending the

Dilemma of it all this is amazing Vince

it appears we have two winners today

unbelievable Jean well there you have it

folks wa well boy howdy clim the answer

was under our feeding tube the whole

time yep the whole

time he's right you know we are better

together than a part always have

been and here I was dumping on my best

friend do you forgive me clam of course

I do put her there partner

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it's a good day Clen it's a good day

bird that is it after all this friends

again just like that well uh uh yeah

just like that what's your

point got I

well I

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guess oh me my little cocoon I'm sorry

too

right see you later B our friends are

too strange I think that we should move

soon okay

I tell you of two friends who made up

today kadr Muchachos Amigos

always he said there's no best fly he

said it's a tie next time there's

trouble I'll call this

guy b a happy wind is

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blowing blowing our cares

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away blowing our car

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away blowing our cares

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away just a little speck on the map it's

a cozy place not the sticky fly trap

it's the

nicest place could ever be found

santoo is

a kind of t

[Music]
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