01x08 - The Honeymoon's Over

[bunniefuu]

I'm Hank.
I was your typical
emergency room doctor.

Until I got fired.

ADMINISTRATOR:
You let a billionaire
hospital trustee die

to save some kid
off the street.

I made a judgment call.

You made a mistake.

HANK: This is my brother.

I'm Evan R. Lawson, CPA.

HANK: He took me away
from my troubles
and to the Hamptons.

And suddenly,
I had a chance to become
a whole new kind of doctor.

It turns out the wealthy
and not so wealthy out here

could use a guy who
makes house calls.

So, I've got a second chance
to do what I do best.

So, welcome to the inaugural
HankMed staff meeting.

I love your blouse, Divya.
Good. Good day to you.

First on
this evening's agenda,
business development.

It's 11:00 a.m.

Oh, yeah.
No, I wrote this
last night. Sorry.

Yeah.
Since I left the ER,

the two things I miss least
are pelvic exams
and staff meetings.

And not necessarily
in that order.

Evan, can't you just
send out an e-mail?

Oh!
Yeah. Okay.

You know what? I'll send
an e-mail. That's great.
Okay. Cool, Divya.

I'm sending an e-mail
to both of you that says,

"I worked
for three days on this
multimedia presentation

"and that you're going
to sit down, shut up,
and enjoy it."

There. Sent.
How does that sound?

How's it going
over there, Stu?

[HICCUPING]
Still working on it,
Mr. Lawson.

Okay, that's cool.
Keep it up.

Was it really necessary
to retain an AV specialist
for this?

[STU HICCUPS]

We should
reschedule the meeting.

Motion to reschedule
not seconded.

Motion fails.
Moving on.

There's no stopping him
when he's like this.

The bylaws to
our tree house were
eight pages long.

And it was
an imaginary
tree house.

[HICCUPS]
So, as I projected,

the HankMed balance
sheet is robust

as we approach the end
of our fiscal summer.

All I needed to hear.
Thanks, Ev.

[STU CONTINUES HICCUPING]

Here, Stu. Drink this.
It should help.

But our gold standard
is turning
our one-time patients

into retainer-paying clients.

"Patients into clients."
This is our new motto.

Let's all say it together.

[HICCUPS]
Patients...

[STU HICCUPING]
Patients...

Okay. All together now.

[HICCUPS]
Patients... Okay.
Excuse me for one second.

[SHOUTING]

Thanks, Mr. Lawson.

Absolutely.
Did it work for you?

[HICCUPS] Sorry,
Mr. Lawson.
Cool. It's all right.

So, our research department
has shown that

when our CFO
attends house calls,

client conversion triples.

Has our research department
also found that we have
no research department?

Funny. That's really funny.
Guys, I propose that for
select residential quadrants,

I join you on visits
to provide
the on-site up-sell

and administer customer
satisfaction surveys.

Great idea.
Awesome presentation.
I'm off to the lab.

Awesome presentation.
Okay. Really? Wicked.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

HankMed. How can we make
you feel better today?

[HICCUPS]

I can't believe
you're here.

You better respect
the patient.

Oh, my God.
I googled them.
She's a swimsuit model.

And he's filthy rich.
So, yeah, I respect
them both. Trust me.

So, hi. Are we treating,
like, a pterodactyl?

No. My husband.
We got married
here yesterday.

Oh, congratulations.
Oh, that's so cool.

Thank you.
It was beautiful.

You know,
I wanted to honeymoon
in the real Amazon,

but my husband, Alan,
is deathly afraid to fly.

So, he rented this for us.
EVAN: Oh.

That's a lovely gesture.

It was.
Until the pollen or something
set off his allergies.

Yeah?

I've said bless you
so many times,

I'm starting to
sound like the pope.

[LAUGHS]

Well, you look way sexier
in your work clothes,

so you've got nothing
to worry about.

Evan. Be quiet.
What?

Be professional.
Behave.

But mostly, be quiet.

EVAN: Oh, my God.

Alan! Alan, honey?

The doctors
you called are here.

Okay!

I'm so glad you're here.

[ALAN SNIFFLING]

Hi.
Hey.

I was just dropping
a sample off at the lab.

Oh.

It's okay. You don't have
to explain why you're here.

Right. So,
how have you been?

You know,
for the past
couple of days.

Pretty good. You?

Pretty good.

So, what are you
up to for the next
couple of days?

I'm sorry. I know
what we said, but...

It's easier
said than done.

Who knew it would
be this hard?
Yeah.

Yeah. And we're obviously
still going to be bumping
into each other,

so we do need to make
some ground rules.

Right. Right.
And what's fair game.

And what's not.

Yeah. But more,
what is.

Excuse me,
Miss Casey. Um...

The emergency
arrhythmia patient
we admitted yesterday

is checking
himself out. AMA.

Well, did we try
talking sense into him?

Okay. All right.
I'll get Dr. Weisman.
Excuse me.

Yeah. Sure.

I signed fewer forms
when I bought my house.

Those your kids?

Yeah.

Nothing quite like
leaving a hospital
to raise your spirits.

Excuse me, sir?
I'm Dr. Lawson.

I'd love to talk, Doc,
but I'm not staying.

Yeah, neither am I.
I don't even work here.

You mind if
I check your chart?

All yours.
I'm done with it.
Here you go.

Thanks.

Mr. Kingsley.

You were admitted
just yesterday

for hypertrophic
cardiomyopathy?

Little stutter step
with my ticker.
But I feel great now.

So, they adjusted
your medications
and stabilized you.

But that doesn't mean
you should leave.

Look, I know some
patients check out

against medical advice
for financial reasons.

Luckily, my wife bought
us good insurance.

Then use it. Stay.

You have a very serious
heart condition.

I also have
a very serious
work deadline.

If I don't make my deadline,
I can't make a living.

And then my wife can't
buy us health insurance.
Ironic, huh?

Almost poetic.

But still not
a good enough reason
to leave here.

Don't worry.
My studio is low-stress.

Less stressful
than this place.

I meditate,
live organically

and the little lady
dotes on me.

That's great. All great.
But you still need
medical supervision.

Are you a cardiologist?

No, just a friend
of the hospital.
I'm a private physician.

Private?
As in house calls?
Yeah.

Problem solved.
You're hired
and I'm out of here.

No, no.
That's not what
I meant to...

Doc, I'm going to
walk out that door

and go home to my wife,
no matter what.

If you come with me,
at least I have
supervision, right?

Yeah, but...

Mr. Kingsley?
Hi. I'm glad
you're still here.

The cardiologist
is on his way.

No need.
I signed your forms

and I'm on my way
with my new doctor.

Miss Casey. Miss Casey,
they need you in
critical care immediately.

HANK: "Zoomer
and Jewel." Cute.

My wife and I
created them


That must be cool,
to work with your wife.

[SCOFFS] You're
not married, are you?

[LAUGHS] No.

Our first book
sold 50 copies.

Ten books later,
Zoomer and Jewel
are local icons.

Like Martha Stewart.

But they've never
done hard time.

Right. Right.

These books,
they are the only thing
that worked out.

We get one good
paycheck a year.

God knows we need it.

[CHUCKLES]

Still, this seems like
a lot to illustrate
in three days.

Which is why
I called our publisher
for an extension.

For someone who works
in children's books,

that lady knows a lot
of very nasty words.

Hank, this is
Julie, the writer...

Oh, and my wife.

I just went to the hospital
and all they'd tell me
is that you checked out.

They sent me home.
So I found a private doctor.
Check him out.

Hot veggies,
tea, and a Hank are no
substitute for a hospital.

The Hank tried
to tell him that.

Well, I'm feeling Zen,
which means it's time
to get back to work.

Our little guys
look bored.

Yeah, well,
they didn't just have
an adventure called

Zoomer and Jewel
Take a Ride
in an Ambulance.

You have.

Honey, you have
got to take it easy.

The scanning shop needs my
proofs in three days, right?

Yes.
And?

And we have the reading
at the library.

We do a sneak reading
for every release.
It's our good luck tradition.

That's funny.
I have my own
good luck tradition

where I give
the patient an exam.

Soon. Honey,
what's so hard about
sticking to page count?

Twelve pages, you said.
Not sixteen.

So, exactly
what kind of animals
are these little guys?

Tasmanian devils.
Badgers.

We've never
really agreed.

Then, how do you
draw them?

Vaguely.
You know what?

Maybe they're woodchucks.
Did you ever
think woodchuck?

Sorry.
Let's do the exam now.
I'll go get my stuff.

So, you should know, Alan,
that I'm a humongous fan
of your work.

I really...
Just being
in your house

and this close
to you is,
like... Whoa.

'Cause you're
like a rock star

of stock portfolio
tracking software.

And it's just, you know,
it's just such an honor.

It's always nice
to meet a fan.

Absolutely.

Now that we've all mingled,
I should treat
Mr. Ryder's allergies.

Right.

Rachel, honey,
why don't you go
enjoy the beach?

Because you know
it reminds me of work.

You think swimsuit
modeling is easy?

The woman can't enjoy
the beach anymore.

Maybe I could
go shopping.

You're in, like,
and billboard ads.

Shouldn't shopping
remind you of work, too?

I have selective memory.

[RACHEL KISSES ALAN]

Evan.
Mmm-hmm?

Will you excuse us?

Wait. I spoke to you
on the phone.

You said your business
is discreet?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, HankMed
invented discretion, man.

We're just, you know,
too discreet to publicize it.

Fine. My problem
isn't allergies.

You're the doctor?

Physician assistant.

And as a medical practitioner,
I'm obligated to
maintain confidentiality.

EVAN: What she said.

For some reason,
I assumed HankMed meant
a doctor named Hank.

You see? I should get
a branding award
for coming up with that.

The doctor can come later.
Or I can help you now.

Okay.
Maybe you can help.

[SIGHS]

It started last night.
Pain. When I go.

Internet said kidney stone,
right? It will pass?

The internet says
a lot of things.

Did it begin
in your back
and descend?

No. Should it have?

Most kidney stones do.
Where does it hurt,
precisely?

I doubt it's
a kidney stone.

I'll have to take a look
at your genitals.

Wouldn't the physician
do that while you assist?

Can't you just give me
a pill I can take for now?

I'm paying
quite a bit for you
to not be a doctor.

I understand...
You know what?

Maybe we don't
have to do an exam.

Evan! May I
speak with you?

Absolutely, Divya.
Give us one second, Alan.
Be right back.

[EVAN LAUGHS POLITELY]

What do you think
you're doing?

Shutting you down,
Nurse Guantanamo.

What are you doing?
Have you ever heard
of bedside manner?

This isn't about
bedside manner.

This is about
diagnosing a problem
and helping a patient.

You don't need an MD
at the end of your name

to know what's
going on here.

Well, duh. But the guy
obviously doesn't want to
tell a CFO and his PA

that his brand new wife
gave him an STD.

Where's your
trademark HankMed tact?

People pay to be treated,
not coddled.

And I don't give
a tinker's cuss
for your marketing drivel.

I can't debate you
if you talk gibberish

that sounds kind of
like something

a chimney sweep
from Mary Poppins
would say.

Honestly.

But you can't cure him unless
you win his trust first.
So work with him.

Guys. Should I call
someone else?
An actual doctor, maybe?

Patients into clients.
Patients into clients.

Say it. It's empowering.
And it's Hank-sanctioned,
too, remember?

Here we go.

Mr. Ryder,
I apologize.

I believe you may
have an infection.
Yep.

I'll need to
take some blood
and urine samples...

Urine samples,
probably.

...to confirm
the diagnosis.

Meantime,
I can prescribe

some antibiotics
and painkillers.
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

Will that
be sufficient?

Delightful.

On behalf of me
and my genitals,
thank you.

Absolutely.
Well, we aim to please
all of you, so...

Great. That was great.

HANK: Breathe in. Out.

Yeah. You can have
high tea when
the exam is done.

Breathe in.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Out.

Okay. Pulse is down
to 60 from 70 when
you left the hospital.

Blood pressure is
You're doing better.

I told you I'd be fine.
Natural living.

The food from
my organic garden beats
hospital food any day.

The rocks in your garden
beat hospital food.

[LAUGHING]

But Hamptons Heritage
put you on
the right medications.

Calcium channel blockers
and furosemide.

I'd prefer
the hospital food.

Now, if we're done,
I'll get to work.

Hey, you know what?
Tell me about
all these characters.

I mean,
where do you guys
get your ideas?

My wife gets them.
From me.

Life experience, I guess.
Zoomer's always been
the mischievous one.

The little white one?

No, that's Jewel,
the good girl.

She's harder to illustrate
than he is. It's all about
shading the white.

Speaking of shading,

your wife should know
the truth about how
you left the hospital.

[SCOFFS]

A year ago, I found out
I had this thing.

And, look, I know Julie is
just trying to protect me.

But, you know,
I like illustrating
for kids.

Not being treated like one.

This isn't just a thing.
Part of your heart
is too big.

It's crucial
that you monitor
and medicate it

so you don't develop
complications.

I do.
Look at my numbers.

And we should talk
about long-term options.

I mean, there are surgeries
you might be a candidate...

Long-term? You sound like
the hospital I just left.

Let's talk long-term later.

I hired you
to get me through
the next three days.

[SIGHING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey.
Hey.

Uh, come in.
Come in.

[KETTLE WHISTLING]

Oh! Uh...
I'm just going to...
Come on in.

I'm glad you came by.
You got my message?

I did. And I decided
to respond in person.

Look, I really am sorry
about what happened
today with Zack.

Zack. Oh, you mean
Mr. Kingsley.

Hmm. How is
my patient, anyway?

He's doing well.

Jill, look,
he was already leaving
Hamptons Heritage

before I even got there.

At least now, he has
medical supervision.

What you did, Hank,
is the definition of
not fair game.

What do I tell
my board members

if they ask me
why my boyfriend...

I'm sorry, ex-boyfriend,
poached a serious
cardio case from me?

Tell them
this was unintended
and in no way personal.

And that they're
giving their hospital
a little too much credit.

What the hell
does that mean?

Let's face it.
Zack wasn't really going to
undergo his cardiac surgery

at Hamptons
Heritage anyway.

Really? And why not?

Look,
it's a great hospital
for some things.

But, Jill, if you had
his condition,

I'd want you at a larger,
specialized facility.

My tiny unspecialized facility
is full of dedicated people

who save lives every day.
Just like you used to.

It just so happens, Hank,
you don't have to get fired
to be a good doctor.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Come on. Please. Dude.
I didn't even use it yet.

Sorry, Mr. Lawson.
It is a 24-hour rental.

I know, but can a brother
get a grace period? I mean...

[LAUGHS]

Okay.
Yes.

All right.
Thank you, Stu.

Now, allow me
to walk you through
the financial benchmarks

that we did not
get through yesterday.

Actually, medical updates
take priority.

I know, but... Okay.
But we finally...

Divya, what's the status
of our fake allergy patient?

He wasn't cooperative.
But it's most likely
a simple STD.

He probably won't
think it's simple.

When are
lab results expected?

They'll be e-mailed
any time now.

Meanwhile,
I started ceftriaxone
and doxycycline.

And oxycodone
for the pain.

All right. Well,
wide-spectrum antibiotics
was a good call.

Speaking of good calls,
did you make yours?

No. I haven't
called her, yet.

You should send flowers.
I recommend peonies.

Thank you.

[HICCUPING]

Again with this?

Not again. Still.

Wife's about to k*ll me.
We just had a baby boy,
and I'm...

[HICCUPS] I'm...

I'm keeping him up
at night.

[HICCUPS]
All right. Come here.
Let me take a look.

Look, you only delayed
the inevitable yesterday.

When the STD results
come back positive,

someone's going to have
to discuss it with them.

That will be
a real Dr. Phil moment.

Here is their contract
and invoice.
You take care of that.

And I'll take care of him.

Okay. This is tetracaine.
It's a mild anesthetic.

It'll relax the larynx
and end the spasm.

Wow. Thanks. Thank you.

Hey, no sweat.
Thank you.

You got it.

Hey. I'm giving
you guys an extension.

Dude. Dude.

All right, guys.
Is the case handled?
Mmm.

I really think
she needs backup, Doctor.

I've got it.
I'm going back
there today.

Alone.

Oh, and I read Zack's file.
His non-compliance sounds
like a liability.

You want Divya
should rough him up?

No, I'm good. I'm going
over there right now.
I've got a plan.

Plan. Plans are good.
Contracts are better.

You don't even have one
with him yet, do you?

Well, I...
Okay. You know what?

This Handshake Hank thing
is really cute, but now,
I'm tagging along with you.

Fine.
And by the way,

next time we have
a staff meeting,

we are going to use
that multimedia station,

because I slaved over
that PowerPoint.

And I also really want
to use this laser pointer.

[CLICKING LASER POINTER]

Stop it.
Stop it.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

Zack? Exam time.
Come on down.

[MUSIC STOPS]

Take a break, Picasso.

Zack. Step down, please.

[GRUNTS]

I'm okay.

You stopped taking your
calcium channel blockers.

They wore you out,
so you compensated
with too many diuretics.

And now you're
dehydrated and cramping.
That's why you fell.

I need a banana
for some potassium.

Zack, we are way past
bananas and tea.

All those diuretics
made you ototoxic.

Temporarily deaf.
You can barely
hear me, right?

Those blockers make
me feel like crap.

I take them,
I miss deadlines.

And eventually,
our publisher is
going to drop us.

I can't afford
to play Russian roulette
with our livelihood.

Well, you're playing
Russian roulette
with your life.

I've got to make
a living, Hank.

Look, I get it. I do.
But if you don't take
your meds,

you could develop
a severe arrhythmia.

I'm your doctor.
You need to listen to me.

What?

You need to
listen to me.

Don't you guys have
a AAA discount?

Coupon in the paper?
Two-for-one special?
Anything?

We're here to keep
your husband alive,
ma'am.

Not steam clean
your carpets.

Fine.

Here's a check for half.

I'll give you collateral
for the rest.

What kind of collateral?

Because I'd really rather
not have to store
any valuables, ma'am.

[SIGHING]

Wow. All right.

I don't even have
to ring a bell
with a sledgehammer

or let you guess
my weight first?

The book is
a first edition.

It's worth something.
And be careful
with the stuffed animals.

Some of them were determined
to be highly flammable.

Kids were setting
these on fire?

One kid. He was fine.
But his parents were lawyers.

Okay.

Forget the collateral.

Just indulge me
by completing
a survey, okay?

On a scale of one to ten,
how satisfied are you with
your decision to hire HankMed?

I didn't want to hire
you in the first place.

We traded an entire
cardiac ward for a guy
with a duffel bag.

My husband belongs
in the hospital.

So, can I say,
like, 9.5?

I'll just say nine.

I've been avoiding
Rachel all day.

This allergy ruse
won't last long.

Then let's get this
diagnosed and treated

so the two of you
can move on.

If you'd let me
do the exam now...

[EXHALES]

The tests showed that
it's not a urinary tract
infection or syphilis.

Why did you test
for syphilis?

I retired my player's jersey
when I met Rachel.

Although the wild stories
about mutual fund
software entrepreneurs

are everything
you've heard,
and then some.

Wait.

You thought my wife
was cheating on me
right before our wedding?

Not necessarily.
But given your restrictions,
that's all I could test for.

She was on
a three-week photo sh**t.

She flew in for the wedding,
so we haven't been
intimate for a month.

I certainly didn't mean
to cast aspersions.

If you'd let me conduct
a quick exam...

So far, your medical hunches
haven't been that hunchy.

So, what are you going
to check for now?

Epididymitis
or testicular orchitis.

Neither of those
sounds any good.

I don't name them.
I just treat them.

Hey, for the record,
I don't have any problem
with you being a woman.

Good.
Neither do I.

My problem is
you're an assistant.

Mr. Ryder, if you would
worry less about my title

and focus more
on what I can do,

hopefully, I can get
you back on your honeymoon.

Now. Drop them.

You can just fax it.
That's cool.

Mrs. Kingsley.
We need to talk.

Of course we do.

Then, you can call it
a consultation
and charge us for it.

No, no, no.
This isn't about
the money.

Evan, they can pay
what they want,
when they want.

That's actually exactly
what I was about to tell
Mrs. Kingsley.

But in exchange,
I expect that survey
to be filled out, okay?

Optional comments
section included.

I'll see you at home.
Okay.

So, you finally realized
you bit off more
than you can chew

with my loving,
stubborn-as-hell husband.

No, I realized that you
and I want the same thing,
and we can help each other.

And how's that?
By convincing Zack

that he needs to be
your husband first
and your illustrator second.

Zack?

He locked it again.
He gets like this
before every deadline.

Zack. Open up, buddy.

Even I don't get a key.

The good news is the kitchen
and the bathrooms are all
on this side of the door.

So, eventually,
he has to come out.

Zack!
Zack!

Open the door, Zack!

What's happening?

It's called
a flash pulmonary edema.

[WHEEZING]
This fluid is
coming from his lungs.

Grab that bag, please?

JULIE: Oh, please!

Don't leave me, sweetie.

Please. I need you.

HANK: It's going to be okay.

Stay with me, Zack.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Just stay calm
and breathe, Zack.

This is a BiPAP machine.
There's fluid backed up
into your lungs.

The BiPAP will help
your oxygenation

and improve the function
of your heart.

Julie, come here.
Can you hold him?

Keep him sitting up while
the machine does its work.
Okay.

You'll feel better soon.

I have you, Zack.
I have you.

I'm not putting a gown on.
You wanted a look,
I gave you a look.

I eliminated epididymitis
and orchitis.

But I did see
a mild ulceration
down there.

In order to diagnose it,
I'll need to examine
your pulse,

your temperature,
your nose, your ears...

I told you where it hurts.
You're not even looking
in the right end.

This is part of
the diagnostic process.

I need to do
a full examination

and get a scraping
from the ulcer

to put under
a microscope.

The software
I invented sold millions

because it gives
people an answer.

No offense.
I just think a doctor would
have given me one by now.

Or at least have a theory.

It could be
any number of things.

It would be irresponsible
to speculate out loud
at this point.

Any number of things.
Like what? Please.
Be irresponsible.

Granuloma inguinale.
Chancroid. Balanitis.
Fungal infection.

Psychosomatic dermatitis.
Herpes zoster. Tuberculosis.

HPV. Squamous cell carcinoma.

Carcinoma? On my honeymoon?
On my...

That?

Oh, God.

I knew something
had to happen.

Good. So those
are Zack's options.

Yup. Do it my way,
the right way,
or it's back to Heritage.

Sounds like a no-lose
situation for me.

Either way, I get to
keep you alive, Zoomer.

All right.
Fluid's dissipated.
How do you feel?

Lucky, I guess.
And cold.

I'll go get your tea.

All right.
Ready for the blockers?

Actually, first
I'd like to finish...

Rhetorical question.
Before you do anything else,

I need to give
you the medication
that will keep you alive.

Look, the good news is
the IV catheter is already in,

so I just have to
switch bags.

Yeah. And the bad news is
now I'll be lame.

Kids hate lame, Hank.

So, you'd let your
course of treatment
be dictated

by people who
are three feet tall
and eat paste for fun?

Why not? They dictate
the course of my career.

Don't give up on me.
Get your health back.

Then you can work
on getting your mojo back.

Hey, maybe you could
put a little doctor character
in one of your books.

Hey, do I tell you
how to practice medicine?

Actually, that's exactly
what you've been doing. Yeah.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Yeah?

I'm just saying
I never heard of the job,

so how could I know
if a so-called "PA"

knows a kidney stone
from a kidney bean?

Because she works for me

and we ask that question
on the HankMed
job application.

You're the doctor?

Great. Glad to finally
have you involved.

I've been involved.
Divya's kept me informed
every step of the way.

Mr. Ryder, I am happy
to check you out,

but you were in
great hands before
I got here.

How far along were you?

He wouldn't let me
give him a full exam.

I gave her a peek.

I thought he didn't
have allergies.

I don't. I didn't.

HANK: Minor lesions
in the nasal membrane.

In combination with
the other ulceration.

I've seen this overseas.

I don't go overseas.

Were you in
the greenhouse much?

Only for the wedding.

Did you spend
any additional time there?

Not in your tuxedo,
perhaps?

Well, yes.

Rachel came to my door
the morning of the wedding

and made me go skinny-dipping
with her through the trees.

I told her it was
bad luck to see
each other,

but she can be
very persuasive
when she's naked.

I'm sure. I think
when you brought
the tropics to you,

you may have gotten more
than you bargained for.

Divya? I'm going to
need a microscope and...

A giemsa stain?

Uh-huh.

I think you have a case
of leishmaniasis.

It's caused by the bite
of tropical sand flies.

One of them probably hitched
a ride to America on a tree,

then bit you
upstairs and downstairs

while you romped
and frolicked.

Luckily, it's treatable
and you're going to be okay.

Thank God.

I'll go tell my wife
she still has a honeymoon
to look forward to.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

JILL: Hey.

Hey. What are
you doing here?

Oh, my nephews
are big fans.

They're over there waiting
for the reading to start.

Oh. Can I ask,
do you...

Does this cut-out
look funny to you?

They're children's
book characters.

Yeah. But not ha-ha funny.
Like, off.

Looks like Zoomer
and Jewel to me.

Okay.

Was that Super Stan Weisman,
the cardiologist
from Manhattan?

Mmm-hmm.

What's he doing here?

Dr. Weisman has a house
in the Hamptons.
And he has kids.

Oh! Yeah.
No, that makes sense.

And I recruited him
to work at Hamptons Heritage

two days a week,
every summer.

Wow. That's quite a coup.

Mmm.

I guess sometimes
us little people
want it more.

Okay. I see
what you're doing there.

Look, I should have spoken
to you before agreeing
to treat Zack.

I owed you that
and I am sorry.

Yeah, well,
he was leaving anyway.

Oh. So, apology accepted
and we're good?

Uh...

I don't think
it's that simple.

What do you mean?

Well, this is exactly
what happened
with me and Charlie.

Charlie.
Yeah. Charlie. My ex.

You know,
once it stopped
working personally,

we thought we could
still make it work
professionally.

But it turns out
it's really an
all-or-nothing deal.

Anything in between
is just too hard.

So, what are you saying?

I want nothing more
than to see you, Hank.

But I don't think
I know how.

I guess nothing
is fair game.

It's the only way
that I can move on.
I'm sorry.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

JULIE: Hank! Come quick!
Zack collapsed!

He collapsed?
The cut-out.

Jewel's all yellow.

What?
What does that mean?

It means that Zack is toxic.
I'm on my way.

[JULIE CRYING]
Stand back, ma'am.
We've got it.

We were on our way,
and he just...

BP's dropped
to 60 over 30.

Heart rate,


I've got a line in
just in case.

Stop. I'm his doctor.

He's afib with RVR.
He needs to be defibbed now.

Yeah. That could k*ll him.
He has digitalis toxicity.

What does that all mean?

Julie, the tea
he always drinks,

do you have
the box somewhere?

There is no box.
It's herbal.

He grows it himself
in our garden.

Okay, I'm betting
that tea was foxglove.

It grows wild here
and it makes the digoxin,
which slows down the heart.

He was self-medicating.

Look, state protocol
mandates that we stick
to standard treatment.

Yeah, well,
we don't have time.
I'll take full responsibility.

That's not my call, Doc.
It's hers.

[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Julie, did you see
the cut-outs he painted?

No.

Okay. They showed signs
that his vision had yellowed.

That happens with
excessive digitalis.

Look, I'm on your side, Julie.

[SOBBING]

Hank is his doctor.

Okay. Get my bag, please?

I need you to
flatten him out.

Clear.

With digitalis toxicity,
you push lidocaine,


Herbal tea can
really do this?

The kind Zack drinks can.
It's powerful.

So, with his heart condition,
overdosing is easy.

Heart's still racing at 150.

Are you sure, Hank?

Yes. It will drop.

Heart rate
is really dropping.

Too low.
It's in the 30's.
He could flatline.

How's his pressure?


Set up
the external pacemaker

just in case
his pressure drops too low
before this kicks in.

[GASPS]

[GAGGING]

Welcome back, buddy.

Hey, there.
He's gonna be okay.

So, we'll give you
IV pentavalent antimony
with allopurinol.

And I'll cut back
on my naked frolicking
in the elements, too.

Hmm.

You'll be all better
by month's end.

This survey Evan gave me?
Two questions.

Can I rate you
higher than a ten?

And for condition treated,

it doesn't seem
to have a box
for flies inside my fly.

Just check "Other."

Check.

I owe you a thanks
and an apology.
I was uncooperative.

I put too much value
on perception sometimes.

But sometimes
the best stocks are the gems
nobody's heard of yet.

Hi, baby.

How's my super-fly guy?

The PA thinks
I'll be better by...

Right here.

Oh, well, that's during
my Trinidad photo sh**t.

What would you think
if I met you in Trinidad

and we flew to
the real Amazon?

You'd really get
in an airplane for me?

With enough sedation, sure.

Look, if something this weird
can happen in the Hamptons,

what am I
so afraid of, huh?

Oh baby.

Oh, my big, strong man.
Oh, my gosh.

I just love you so much,
my little rock star.

Eskimo kisses.

Okay. Bye.
ALAN: Bye.

"Watching the sun set
always made Zoomer
a little sad.

"Because that meant
bedtime and all
the day's fun was done."

"But every night
when the lights went off,
Jewel whispered to him,

"Tomorrow is a brand new day."

"And it was."

Well, they think
you still got it.

Well, some days,
I have the mo.
Some days, I have the jo.

And some days,
I even put them together.

That sounds like progress.

Nothing will make you stop
bitching about your life

like getting
a second chance at it.

And, look, as I said,
if you want to find out

if you're a candidate
for either of
those surgeries...

The long-term.
Mmm-hmm.

Did you know
Hamptons Heritage
happens to have

the premiere cardiologist
on the East Coast?

That's surprising to hear.

And his kids
love your books.

That's not
so surprising
to hear.

As you requested.

Thank you.

Though it doesn't seem
like payment enough.

And, as your CFO requested.

Ah! He'll be pleased
by your feedback.

Can we please get started?
I have some place
I need to be.

Where?

I'm still working on that.
Anywhere but here.

Yeah. No.
I'm waiting
for Divya, man.

Does she know you're
giving your presentation?

Yeah, if she checks
her text messages or her
e-mails or her voicemail.

You should
start without her.

I'm not...

Just...
You know what?
Okay. I will.

It's her loss.

Which means
it's you and me, Henry.
You and me. You ready?

I am ready.

You ready for this?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Welcome to advanced Evanomics.

So...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

See? I'm not starting it
over for her, by the way.

I don't give a tinker's cuss
what her excuse is, either.

Hey, Doc.

[HICCUPS] They're back.

I hate to bother you,
but my wife is...

Come to the cabinet.
Thank you.

Morning, Mr. Lawson.

Morning, Stu.

Viscous lidocaine.
It will feel odd
for about two seconds,

but it's better than
hiccups for two days.

STU: I really appreciate this.

Stu, do you happen
to take meds for
allergies or asthma?

I have a prescription
for my hay fever.

Well, if it's
corticosteroids,

they sometimes have
the side effect
of persistent hiccuping.

Try these instead.

Hey, if you ever need
any free AV help...

Will do. But I leave the bells
and whistles to my brother.

Thanks, Doc.
Take it easy.
Mmm-hmm.

See you, Stu.

So, anyone else dropping by?
Some huddled masses?

Maybe Fagin's g*ng
of street urchins, perhaps?

[LAUGHS] We'll resume
the Evanomics lesson later.

But so far,
utterly engrossing. Riveting.
Some of your best work.

Henry. Henry!

Toddle-la.

I can't believe this.

I cannot believe this.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Divya Katdare.

Well, we should...

[HICCUPS]

We should...

[HICCUPS]

We should reschedule.

[HICCUPING]
No, no. We should...

[CLEARS THROAT]

[HICCUPS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Yeah.

[EVAN HICCUPS]

You got my message.

I did. I thought I'd
respond to it in person.

Hmm.

You got my gift.

Yeah.

Zoomer and Jewel
Go to the Hamptons.
First edition.

Signed to you.

You know,
if that's fair game.

Look, I'm sorry
about everything.

You know, Hank,

sending me cute little gifts
really isn't going to
help me move on.

Well, what about
adorable little gifts?

Mmm.

[LOCK CLICKS]

Even worse.