01x09 - Hostile Makeover/Grid Iron Glory

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ At the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ But my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ From annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ Without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ The story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Flute music]

Blam!

So, vexus,
ready to surrender?

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

So you've dismantled
a handful of my drones,

But we are legion.

One day soon,
you will join us,

And together, we will enslave
the human race.

Think again,
evil robot queen,

Because as there's a human being
alive that needs my help,

I'll be there.

When you see a little kid trying
to outrun a cannibal android,

I'll be there.

When you see some working guy
trying to get his change back

From a demon-possessed
snack machine,

I'll be there.

And when the day comes

That crime-fighting robots
and plain folks

Can live together in peace,

Laughin'
and hootin' it up--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it, already.

But your words
are meaningless.

You will be a member of
the cluster before you know it.

[Coughing]

Be seeing you.

[Coughing]

What a--cough, cough--witch.

[Coughing]

Boing! Boing! Boing!

Boing! Boing!

Yowch!

That was weird.

[Bell clangs]

Crikey,
I'm late for school.

[Woman]
and the axelockle,
a primitive amphibian,

Is unique
in its ability to--

♪ Boring. ♪

So tell me again
about how you kicked

That battalion
of cluster butt.

Cripes, not again, brad.

That story really loses its zip
after the 100th retelling.

Come on!
It's exciting.

My only battle today is between
my urge to gorge on chocolate

And my desire to be zit-free
for the school photo tomorrow.

Foul temptress.

That's one good thing
about being a robot:

I never have to worry
about breaking out.

Pop!

Aahhh!

Okay, see you later.

Come here, you.

Crrreak...pop!

Pop!

Aahhh!

[Crying loudly]

Hey, jenn, what's
with the tiny tears?

I-i tried to unscrew it,
and it just got bigger.

Come on; it's nothing
to freak about.

But I'm a hideous mutant.

Freaks? Mutants?
Where?

Let me see!
Let me see! Let me see!

Aahhh!

Sheesh, itis bigger.

[Knocking]

[Wakeman]
xj9, time for your daily
systems check.

No! Not now!
I just can't!

Young lady,
you open the door this instant!

No!

Ooh, so temperamental.

Why did I ever build
a teenage robot?

You see, jenn?
You're a teenager.

You're just suffering
from robopuberty.

It's perfectly natural.

You see, all teen folk
reach a special time

When the mysterious
broth of hormones

Starts to come to a boil.

Little billy suddenly emerges
from the cocoon of childhood

As william,
a promising young man,

While little sally
blossoms into...

Uh, big sally.

Well, I've got my own theory,
mr. Health class.

I think you've been infected
by some tiny alien machine,

A machine that is slowly
changing you from within,

Turning you into a monster,

A hideous monster!

You and your
wild imagination.

One little pimple bolt
does not a monster make.

Pop!

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Aaughh!

[Teeth clattering]

Hey, try some
of this cover-up.

It always works
to hide my zits.

♪ Brad wears makeup. ♪

It's cover-up, and
there's no shame in it.

You really think
this'll work?

Absolutely.

[Jenny]
no, brad, I can't.

I changed my mind.

Oh, for crying out--
nobody's gonna notice.

[Music playing]

See?

[Music stops]

[All giggling]

[Laughing]

Boing!

[Laughing]

Sploop!

Wahhh!

Well, brad, thanks

For making me look
like a complete...

[Lower voice]
fool.

Whoa.

Oh, no, now my voice vocoder
is malfunctioning too.

[Laughing]

Great.

I'll have to wear
this bag on my head forever,

And it smells
like fish tacos.

Everyone goes
through this, jenn.

It's completely
natural.

[Beeping]

You're right.
It's not so bad.

Hey, maybe this bag thing
will become a new fad:

Fish taco bag heads.

That's the spirit.

Whick!

[Circuits wind down]

[Voice lower]
this is all your fault.

Blam!

You and your lousy
cover-up!

♪ Someone's having
mood swings. ♪

Whick!

[Crying]
I'm sorry, sweet brad.

Please forgive me!

Don't sweat it, jenn.

Hey, I bet you've
already started to clear up.

Really?
You think so?

Sure.

How do I look?

Uhhh...

Eeuw.

Huh?

Ohh.

[Gasps]
I gotta go.

What's your hurry, sally?

I-i mean, jenny?

Chirp, chirp, chirp

[Loud moan]

Rrring!

Bam!

Squeak, squeak

Bam! Bam! Bam!

[Very low voice]
me go school now.

Be productive, xj9.

[Loud crash]

Watch the birdie.

Smile.

Work with me,
darling.

Oh, that's it.

[Slurping]

Bam! Bam! Bam!

[All gasp]

Bam! Bam! Bam!

[Low, scary voice]
friend.

Okay, maybe thereis
something wrong with you.

Jenny, stop
horsing around

And get in line,
young lady.

Everyone gets
their school photo
taken today.

You can't expect
special treatment

Just because you're having
body-image issues.

No photo!
No photo!

Watch the birdie.

Poof! Poof! Poof!

[Clanking]

Blip-blip-blip-blip

Rrowr!

[All screaming]

[Laughing wickedly]

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

My, what a difference a day
makes in a young robot's life.

Boing

One day, you're
swearing eternal loyalty

To the human race;

The next, you're
my obedient pet.

Now finish
destroying the school.

Once you've warmed up,

We can take over
your pitiful hometown

And then
this whole puny planet.

Crash!

Rowr, rowr, rowr.

Rowrr!

Wait, jenny.

It--it's me, brad,
your buddy, remember?

Aahhh.

Xj9 remembers only

What the cluster
tells her to remember--

Namely, that she's first
and foremost a robot, like us.

Now destroy the nasty
little vertebrate for me,

Won't you, darling?

Rowrr!

[Panting]

[Wakeman]
vexus.

I knew I smelled
your stench on this,

Especially when tuck told me
what was happening to xj9.

You're too late.
She's mine now.

All right, tuck, I need
you to attach these

To that power box
over there.

Where?

There.

Rrowr!

Oh.

Go!

Now, stop fooling around,
xj9, and put these on.

The sooner
we short-circuit you,

The sooner we can put an end
to this cluster nonsense.

Ahh.

[Wakeman]
young lady,

You stop trying to take over
the human race right now,

Or you are grounded.

Goodness, I should
never have stopped

My spinning classes.

[Jenny]
rrowr!

Run, tuck!

Bam! Bam! Clang!

Tuck, keep going.

Bam! Bam! Bam!
Rrowr!

Boing boing

Boing

Gimme those, mammal.

Catch, brad.
Tuck!

Aahhh!

Tuck?

Whoa!

Aahhh!

Aahhh!

Tuck?

Now, brad!

[Electronic tone]

[Zapping]

Clank!

Just as I thought:

The cluster infected her
with a tiny alien machine

That changed xj9 from within,
turning her into a monster,

A hideous monster!

My wild
imagination, huh?

What a disappointment to lose
such a fine fellow robot

To such a pathetic
bunch of creatures.

I'll just have
to console myself

By playing
with this fleshy whelp.

You hurt
one hair on his head,

And your nanobutt
is toast.

Mama.

[Sentimental violin music]

Oh, my beautiful baby.

All right, we'll trade.

Foolish xj9.

Someday soon, you will join
the cluster family.

Well, now that miss moody's
complexion is cleared up,

Perhaps she'll allow us
to take your picture.

Watch the birdie.

How embarrassing.

[Laughing]

[Jenny]
stop lagging, brad.

Tremorton high
needs our skills.

But I don't want to try out
for football.

The quakers haven't won a game
in five years.

The only good player
is jacque, the quarterback,

And he's a supreme jerk.

Where's your school spirit,
brad?

You're gonna join
the football team,

And I'm gonna be
a cheerleader.

It's a great chance
to increase our popularity.

Don't you want
to be more popular?

Sure, you do.

Okay, guys.

I want to see
some attitude out there.

I want you to be tigers,
men of steel,

Warriors.

Let me hear your w*r cries.

[All, quietly]
roar.

Looks like
another great season...

For my ulcer.

[Jenny]
here you go, coach.

A football superstar,
coming at ya.

Okay, brad.
Let's see what you got.

Bonk!
Ow!

Whoa!

I guess
I didn't make the cut.

Did you black out?
No.

Great.
You're on the team.

Okay, girls.

Watch while pteresa,
stephanie, and jantrice

Demonstrate
one of our cheers.

[Together]
quakers, quakers,
rah, rah, rah.

Quakers, quakers,
la, dee, dah.

Go, quakers.

Now let's see what

You new recruits can do.

Gimme a "q," "u," "a,"
"k," "e-r-s."

Go, quakers!

Ahh!

[With french accent]


Hi, jacque.

Oh, hi, girls.

Smack!

You better get your act
together, jacque,

Or you'll be
off the team.

Please, coach.

Have you seen
the rest of the team?

Somehow,
I think you'll need me.

Brad, you look
miserable.

Didn't you make the team?

No, worse.
I did.

How'd you do?

Uh, not so good.

I don't understand it.

I even downloaded


Clank!

Yo, a little help here.

Beep, beep, beep, beep

Smack!

Splash!

That was amazing.
Congratulations.

You're
our new quarterback.

Hey, what about me,
coach?

Think of it
this way, jacque:

You'll have more time
to sign autographs,

Now that you're cut.

Cut?

R-r-r-r-r-r-r!

Brad, I really need
you to quiz me

On the playbook
at lunch.

You need to relax,
jenny.

You can't possibly
make the team any worse.

I just don't want
to let anyone down.

Too late for that,
team wrecker.

It's your fault
jacque got kicked
off the team.

Yeah,
you show-off.

No one's seen him
all week.

Rumor has it that
he transferred
over to poly tech

And joined their team.

Did you hear that, brad?

If we're playing
poly tech,

I really need
to know those plays.

Don't listen to them,
jenny.

Poly tech is
a technical school,

Specializing in applied
technology and electronics.

They don't even have
a football team.

Brad, why do you have
that pamphlet in your locker?

I picked it up at
the poly tech bake sale.

What?

They have
a great bake sale.

[Man over p.a.]
Good evening, and welcome to
the first game of the season.

And now, boys and girls,
your own tremorton quakers!

Suit up, jenny.
It's time to go.

And now, introducing this
season's starting quarterback,

Jenny wakeman!

Boo!

We want jacque.

Okay, team.

Let's get out there.

[Crowd booing]

So that's how
these things go on.

[Cheering]

[Crowd]
ohh!

[Gasps]

[Cheering]

[Man over p.a.]
Touchdown!

Quakers!

Hike.

Skree!

[Jenny]
hey, brad.

I gotcha.

Bam!

Skree!

[Cheering]

Can you believe it, brad?

Me--on the front
of the paper.

I told you
you'd do great.

Iwas pretty great,
wasn't i?

Great job
on friday, jenny.

Thanks.

All right, jenny.
Great game.

Thank you.

Looks like
you're on your way

To major
popularity, jenny.





Boing boing boing

[Cheering]

Hike.

[Loud rumbling]

[Cheers and applause]

Hike.

[Crowd cheering]

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Thanks, jenny.

Right on, jenny.
You rule.

Thanks, jenny.
You the man.

Hey, thanks,
but I'm really

Just an electronic
artificial female

With outstanding football
skills, don't'cha know?

[Chuckles]

Well, brad,
I've finally made it

To the right side
of the popularity fence.

Did you see
all my new friends?

Listen, jenny, I don't mean
to burst your bubble,

But these people are your fans,
not your friends.

Their affections
will only last

As long
as you keep winning.

Friends, fans--
what's the diff?

Popularity
is popularity.

Besides, I know
I'll keep winning.

I got the skills--snap--
to pay the bills.

[Girl]
don't count
on it, jenny.

You're playing poly tech
in the championship,

And they're supposed
to be unbeatable.

Yeah, this is
their first season,

And they're kicking
everyone's butt.

Oh, please;
no one can stop me now,

Especially
a bunch of nerds.

Oh, yeah?

Well, the nerds' quarterback
is jacque.

Who cares
about jacque-itch?

[Microphone squeals]

[Man]
good evening,
ladies and gents,

And welcome to the season's
championship game.

Now turn your eyes
to center field

For this season's
star qb, jenny!

[Cheers and applause]

And now,
the visiting team

For tonight's
championship game,

The poly tech bulldogs.

[Booing and hissing]

[All]
where are the bulldogs?

[Chugging]

[Hydraulic winding]



Poly tech is here to win.

Clang!

Resistance is futile.
Snort, snort

[Man]
and at quarterback,
jacque!

Well, well, robogirl.

Prepare for a taste

Of your own
mechanized medicine.

Bring it on,
jacque strap.

Okay, guys.
Huddle up.

Now, I know
these guys look tough,

But I have total confidence
in your abilities...

And, of course, my skills.

So let's get out there

And kick some number-crunching
nerd butt!

[Boys]
break!





Clang!

Hike.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Aahhh!

[Sizzling]

[Teeth chattering]

Aahhh!

Yikes!

[All]
toss the ball.

[Crowd booing]

Time out.

Okay, guys.
Let's huddle up.

Now, I know
things look rough,

But we only need
one touchdown to win,

If we all...pull...
Together?

Are we
the only ones left?

All that's left standing.

But what about dominelli?

Broken scapula.

Thomas?
His lips off.

Sanchez?
Fractured toe.

Parkins.
Idislocation.

Lopez.
Real bad owie.

Cruz?

Comatose, but he wasn't
much of a talker, anyway.

It doesn't make sense.

Nerds aren't supposed to know
how to play football.

Well, there's no time
to figure it out.

Let's give 'em
the old sidewinder play.

[Both]
break!



Smack!

[Crowd booing]

[Man]
come on!

[Laughing]

You might as well
hit the showers, brad.

It'll all be over soon.

That's okay, coach.

I'll just watch the game
from here.

What the--

Aaugh.

[Brad]
ah-hah!

I knew it.

That's how
they're playing so well.

[Voice amplified]
hey, jenny!
Check out jacque!

He's got an antenna
microphone set up,

And he's feeding
football instructions

To the nerds
from the sidelines.

Why, zat leetle--

All right,
set up in blitz formation.

Hike.

[Electronic winding]

[Train whistle and chugging]

Ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Fizzling]

This is it, brad.

Only seconds left.

I can't look!

Jenny, pull yourself
together!

You're our last hope!





Stop her.
Stop her, you nerds.

What'll we do?

I don't know.

Cast the dice
from a force field.

Red dog right.
Red dog--huh?

[Zapping]

Hike!

[Crowd cheering]

Oh, idiots.

I agree.

If they wanted a truly
impregnable force field,

They should've used
a positively charged ion beam.

Now we are in beezness.

Okay, robogirl.

Let's see what you got.

[Clattering]

[Man]
touchdown!

Tremorton wins!

[Cheering]

Hey, jenny,
wait up.

Aren't you gonna
stick around?

You sure have
quite a few friends now.

Nah.
Brad, you were right.

These people are fans,
not friends.

[Jacque]
hey, robodweeb.

Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha!

This game's about to go
into sudden death overtime.

[Cat screeches]

Hey, what are you doing,
you stupid mutt?

Heel! Heel!

Smash the girl, not the cat.

Christmas bonus,
here I come.

[Laughing]

Meow!

Blam!

What'd I miss?

[Rock music]