01x05 - Sliding into DMs

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[Michelle] It's another day on The Circle,

and we've already seen more drama
than a Housewives reunion.

With Antonio and Alana
already digital memories,

RIP, Players,

new boy Alex is ready to become Adam.

Let's hope he bucks the whole
"names beginning with an A" curse, right?

Let's open the album "Just Me."

Please take me to the picture
in the middle on the right.

I feel like, this man,
he's... he's friendly, he's approachable,

he's not threatening,

but he can get with the ladies
and be friends with the guys,

and that's what I need to win.

Circle, please set this
as my first profile picture.

Let's go back to my private albums
and pick a second photo.

Open the album "Fav Pictures."

All right, Circle,
open the top middle picture, please.

Oh! It's making me sweat.

So, he is obviously fit and attractive
and beautiful

and that's, like, everything I want to be,

but I don't think I want a picture
of this caliber right now.

I think I'm going to use this photo
in the future, just not right now.

Please close this photo.

Okay, now, Circle,
open this photo to the left.

This is a great second picture.

I think it makes Adam feel
like a real person.

While I want to be, like,
this buff, fit, hot guy,

I also want people to connect with me
on, like, a very personal level,

and everybody loves dogs.

So, Circle, I would like to select this
as my second profile picture.

Here it goes.

[chuckling] Yeah! That is now me.

Dog lover.

Handsome as hell.

I'm going to set my age to 27.

Set my relationship status as single.

If I went in as a married person,

it pretty much cuts me dead
with anybody else who is single.

Oh, God, I gotta turn on my wit now.

[Michelle] While Adam, aka Alex,
searches for the wit button,

the other Players are about to get
their first glance

at this dog-loving catfish.

- [alarm blares]
- Oh!

- Alert! Alert!
- [all] Alert.

Yeah!

Oh, no.

"A new Player has joined The Circle."

Oh!

Already?

Oh, no, not another person.
Oh sh*t. Oh, that's me!

[laughs]

Ooh, this is exciting.

My third eye is telling me
it's gonna be a guy.

The real reveal when my face shows up,

and they are overcome with emotion
and sexual energy.

[gasps]

[slurps]

I think I just drooled a little bit. Whoa.

Oh, Adam! Ooh!

I think Adam is gonna knock out
Joey's slot.

Okay, we got Adam.

Joey doesn't look as cute anymore.

Adam is...

Oh, my God, he is so sexy.

Ooh.

Adam looks good.

[Michelle] Yeah,
almost too good to be true.

And while Chris figures out
how to set the new guy as his screensaver,

Adam, aka Alex,
does some snooping of his own.

Oh! Something has happened.

Are these real people?

Holy smokes.

[chuckles] It looks like this is
all my competition or my new friends,

but mostly my competition.

It's a little overwhelming.

I wanna open Chris's profile first.

Oh, hello.

"Ain't God good?"

Is this man a Christian drag queen?

That is... bizarre.

Circle, please take me to Adam's profile.

Oh, he's a dog lover!

"Hi, guys, my name is Adam.
I live in Los Angeles.

When I'm not working out
or walking my dog, Zipper,

you'll likely catch me
eating tacos by the beach."

He's definitely not my type. At all.

Well, we have something in common, Adam.

I like tacos too.

He seems a bit douchey,
to be quite honest.

Adam's picture seems more realistic,
for some reason, than Joey's.

Well, I'm ready to meet Adam.

[Alex] Joey looks like the type of guy

who wakes up in the morning
and goes to the gym.

No, not only goes to the gym,
but runs five miles to get to the gym.

Like, meanwhile, I wake up in the morning,
I'll sit down and listen to an opera.

I can see Miranda trying
to slide up on Adam.

Circle,
let's see that profile photo large.

Oh, my God, I gotta go to the big screen.

Oh, my gosh.

[takes a deep breath]

- Oh, she's just shimmying over and over.
- [dance b*at playing]

I just can't do it. Uh, like,
my hips don't move that way.

Ooh, maybe he likes guys.

And now Chris has someone to, like,
talk to and flirt with and stuff.

Uh, my gaydar's starting to go, "Mm...

This means gay. This means straight."

My gaydar's right here going,

"Hmm..."

Nice beard. Respect to him.

It's a perfect picture.

It's like an... It looks like a...
like an ad, almost.

Like... Like in a magazine
or, like, on a commercial.

Let's open up Sammie's profile.

That picture
on the right is something else.

What does it say?

"Have no tits." Sure.

[Michelle] What's better
than one unexpected alert?

- [alarm blares]
- [Seaburn] Oh!

Another alert.

Oh, God.

[Sammie]
"Adam is allowed to take one Player

to join him for a romantic dinner
in the Hangout." Ooh!

What?

Really?

Ooh!

Adam, how am I gonna win you over?

[Seaburn]
"In order to help Adam with his decision,

he must now invite three Players
to a Group Chat."

Oh, let's play matchmaker.

Ooh!

Pick me.

I can't just take all four girls,

so one girl is gonna be left out,
and she's gonna feel b*rned, for sure.

It's a popularity game.
I don't want to f*ck it up.

Pick me.

Pick me.

Come on.

I'm gonna be a little upset
if I'm not in the group chat at least.

If he's smart,
he's gonna pick me, Joey, and one girl,

preferably Rebecca
'cause she knows how to be loyal

and she's a great ally of mine.

[Seaburn] I'm gonna land this date
with Adam

and we're gonna blow it out of the water,
baby.

[sighs] Team Rebecca. Whoo.

I mean, come on, bro. Let's talk.
I wanna see what you're all about, Adam.

[Alex] Oh, God!

I'm not good at making decisions,

and Gina is on the table,

[chuckles]
staring me down the whole time.

"What are you doing, Alex?
Who do you think you are?"

And I'll be like,
"I'm not Alex, I'm Adam.

It's not me!"

All right.
Let's see if Adam's made a decision.

[exclaims]

Oh, dear.

[Michelle] More like "oh, dear"
for the four Players

who don't get passes
to this private party.

But who's on the VIP list?

"Adam has invited you to a group chat."

[gasps] Oh, my God!

[laughs]
I feel like I have to start getting ready!

[Michelle]
She knows this is an online chat, right?

[Seaburn whoops]

Oh, we're in it!

Message: "Hey, ladies,

I'm really excited
to get to know everyone.

I'm going to ask you ladies
a couple of questions

to get to know you all better."

[Sammie] Boom. I like that.

Rather than, like, we're all just like...
[exclaims]

So many things can happen right now.

This could be played
in so many different ways.

Either way, we gonna get this money.

"The girl that gives me the best answers,
I will invite out on a... a dinner date."

[chuckles]
But maybe it needs to be sexier.

Hold on. Hold on.

I have to get out of my, like,
own headspace

and be the single bachelor hunk
that is Adam.

Okay, uh, scrap that and say,

"The girl that arouses me the most
with their answers

will get to go on a dinner date with me."

Just go ahead and send it
before I regret it. [chuckles softly]

[Michelle] Okay, for real,
he's going with "arouse"?

[grunts]

I... I've never liked the word "arouse."

Wow, that's pretty forward. [chuckles]

I'm kinda grossed out
by the "arouse" part.

[Michelle] While Adam, aka Alex,
arouses "ews"

but not much else in his private party,

the other Players find out

they haven't caught
this catfish's eye yet.

Damn! He didn't pick me?

[Michelle] And decide to have
a not-bitter-at-all chat of their own.

"Guys, we're not in the Adam group chat.

We're the four he didn't pick."

That was a mistake, Adam.

That was a mistake.

Message: "Who wants to have a dinner
with Adam and get to know him

when you could spend time
with people you already love?

"Hashtag loyal."

Send.

Aww!

"Let's have our own dinner.

Miranda's bringin' the cake."

"Shooby's got the booze,

Chris has got the music..."

"And Uncle Joey's picking up the tab."
[chuckles]

Joey is funny.

"Who says we block Adam?"

[laughing] "And get his dog, Zipper,
to take his place?"

That's really funny.

"Now, now, now, children,
y'all stop being mean."

"Hashtag spread love like butter."

Joey's so quick to att*ck him.

You would think you wanna invite somebody
into your group, don't you think?

So, message: "I wonder
what they are all talking about.

What do you guys think it can be?"

Send message.

Message, at Chris:

"The girls are probably just all drooling
over Adam."

"They're probably tearing each other apart
like savages."

[chuckles] Joey, you're probably right.

Message, at Joey:

"I trust my girls.

Hashtag they are not thirsty."

"Maybe so, but Adam looks
mighty dehydrated, my friend."

[laughs]

[Michelle] As the Players figure out
the new guy,

Alex, aka Adam, is figuring out
what to ask in his group chat.

Maybe you just don't open
with "Are you aroused?"

Now, let's see how Adam starts this.
Does he come out, like, "Hey, ladies?"

Does he come out
as, like, a Prince Charming,

knight in shining armor?

[sputters] God.

What is his angle right now?
Damn, Adam. [clicks tongue]

[sighs] It's so hard to do my makeup
and be, like, waiting for his message.

[Michelle] Hashtag the struggle is real,
right, Sammie?

[Alex sighs]
Ugh, it shouldn't be this hard.

What's wrong with me? Okay. Um...

What is going on right now?

Adam,
please don't ask no weird sh*t either.

"What is your ideal first date,
question mark." Send.

Ask me. Mine's super cute.

At Sammie: "You first." Send.

Yay! Okay.

Message: "I would have you drive us

to a drive-in movie on the beach
in a big truck

with blankets and pillows in the bed,
a bottle of wine, and lots of snacks.

This emoji." Send.

Drive-in movies on the beach?
I guess it's a thing.

But, no, like, do you drive on the beach
and see the movie? No.

[Karyn] Message: "I'm simple.

I wouldn't mind playing games on the pier

and watching the sunset."

Mercedeze really wants this date with me.

"My ideal first date is a trip
to the bank."

♪ Date girl, be Rebecca ♪

♪ Be, be Rebecca, what? ♪

At Rebecca: "Question mark."
You don't even have to say anything.

Message: "I would first love for you
to take me to a restaurant

where I could wear a beautiful dress
and enjoy your company

and then we'd take a walk
under the night stars."

Yeah. [grunts] Rebecca!

Yo, Rebecca, not to be funny,
you deserve a f*cking Oscar for this sh*t.

♪ And we struttin', we struttin' ♪

♪ We struttin', we struttin' our stuff ♪

♪ We strutting our stuff ♪

♪ What? Let's go, Rebecca ♪

Adam wants more.

So, my next question is...

Message: "I've been told
I'm very adventurous in the bedroom.

What is the wildest romp
that you've been on, question mark."

Send.

I don't get that.
I don't know what a romp is.

Romp? What the f*ck is a romp?

Mercedeze.

[grunts] f*ck!

What is something crazy that I've done?

Me, the real me, I've had threesomes
with girls, orgies with girls.

I have never had sex with a guy.

I once got eaten out on a trampoline.

How do I answer that
in a way that keeps Mercedeze ladylike...

but not a prude?

[grunts]

Rebecca really has to take the wheel
on this one.

I am a little worried that the girls
will think it's a little too forward,

but let them be offended.

Do they want the dinner date or not?

All right, here you go.

Message: "Laugh out loud, oh my God,
why me first?

Um, I had a threesome back
in my college days with an ex." Send.

"I had a threesome back in my college days
with an ex."

That's not that crazy.

Ah, what? [chuckles]

[Michelle] New guy thinks it is.

Message: "Wide eyeballs emoji.

Rebecca, you're next."

Watch Rebecca come in and be like,

[chuckles] "I was in a big orgy,
and I did some crazy stuff."

Message, at Adam:

"LOL. I've always been told
that a lady never kisses and tells,

but maybe you can find out.
Dot, dot, dot. Wink."

Send. I'm happy with that.

Very classy, Rebecca. Very classy.

Aw, that was a good, safe answer.

She's really playing this shy girl sh*t
to the f*ckin' tee.

"What about you, at Sammy, question mark."

I think I wanna get... like, maybe kinky.

I think he just wants to get turned on.

Message: "My bed isn't made
out of metal poles for no reason.

Purple devil face emoji." Send.

Devil emoji? Jesus Christ.

I love her. I love her.

Sammie, I love you.

I love you. That's it.

Wow.

I love her. [laughs] Yo.

I think the bed thing might have really,
like, reeled him in.

Message: "I've really learned a lot
about all of you."

"Looking forward to chatting to one of you
later in the hangout." [squeals]

Now he's gonna go choose.

I feel like everybody is hiding something
from me,

and it's... it's a really hard decision
for me to make.

[Michelle] So, Adam, aka Alex, is deciding

which lucky girl he's gonna slip
into something way more casual for

on his big date.

And because absolutely everything
in The Circle is online,

we created a virtual shop

where he can select a gift
and have it delivered,

all while staying completely horizontal.

[Alex] Uh-oh.

"Adam, you now have access
to The Circle Shop

and may order something
to give to your chosen dinner date."

Why can't I just buy myself something?

Circle, open The Circle Shop, please.

[sighs] Oh, God.

What would Adam send out of this shop?

They're, like, very classic date gifts,
except the cat onesie, which...

I would most like to give that to myself.

Circle, can you add one giant teddy bear
to my basket, please?

Whoa, "out for delivery."

[Michelle] The gift that Adam, aka Alex,
thoughtfully spent

nearly one whole minute selecting
is on its way.

But will it be a bear or bad news
delivered to Sammie, Rebecca,

or the extremely unbothered Mercedeze?

[laughing] What the f*ck?

Oh, sh*t.

[Sammie] Aww!

It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.

[Karyn] Good times.

I don't have to have a conversation
with somebody I wasn't interested in.

I feel like I won twice tonight.

[Sammie] That sucks.

I just wanted to have the upper hand.

[Seaburn]
"To my potential future honey bear,

if you're feeling lonely,
give this a squeeze and think of me

because I'll be thinking of you.

XOXOXO."

Whoo! We did it! [laughs]

Oh!

[Michelle] So, Adam,
who is really married cat lover Alex,

is going on a romantic first date
with Rebecca,

who is really a guy named Seaburn
posing as his girlfriend.

See, this is why I don't do online dating.

[Seaburn] Wow.

[laughs]

[Alex] Ah. This is...
This is just what I needed after today.

A romantic sit-down
with my new friend Rebecca.

We'll see how friendly
Adam will get with her.

Ooh, we got wine. [chuckles]

[Alex] Circle,
let's send a message to Rebecca.

Oh, Adam's writing. Adam's writing.
We're... We're doing this.

"Thank you for joining me here tonight.

Did you get the package I sent,
question mark." Send.

Message: "OMG, I nearly cried
when I seen your package,

and your message absolutely blew me away.

You really know how to surprise a lady."

Send.

[exhales]

Oh, good, she liked it.
But now... [chuckles]

Now how do I respond to that?

I'm gonna message:

"I couldn't imagine
having either of the other girls here.

You are by far the most interesting
and elusive of all of them."

"You made me want to know more about you."

[laughs nervously] This is crazy.

Oh, my gosh.

I have to think, during all of this,
of my wife at home,

so it's, like,
this relationship with Rebecca

is, like, this bizarre,
false, fantasy relationship.

But as long as I'm the most popular
in The Circle,

the consequences
in the real world are nothing

because... [chuckles]
...I'm gonna walk out of this and be me.

We don't want to be rumbled,
so Rebecca is gonna stay her course.

She's gonna continue to keep
the nicey-nicey aspect,

which is gonna make
my entire narrative believable.

[sighs]

[Michelle]
Wow. I didn't know catfish actually sweat.

[exhales] Rebecca.

Message:

"I honestly thought you might have picked
one of them because..."

"Because they are so brave and bold,
and I'm shy and reserved,

and that's the first time
I have ever made a guy interested

in wanting to get to know me more.

Hashtag shy girl." Hmm.

Has she not dated anybody before? Huh.
Message:

"I find it hard to believe

that no man has ever wanted
to get to know you more."

[Seaburn] "With your eyes and your smile,
you are irresistible."

Message:
"I bet you look extremely handsome.

I apologize if I seem a little forward.

Truthfully...

I'm just excited
to be in the moment with you."

Send.

Rebecca, you are a poet.

It's like her innocence is
a little too much,

and I don't quite buy it.

♪ Mm-mm, mm ♪

♪ Let's go, Rebecca ♪

♪ You doin' it, girl, you doin' it ♪

I need to advance this conversation
beyond, like, just looks.

I need to, like, get to some... some core.

[Michelle] So, while catfish Rebecca

and catfish Adam accuse each other
of being catfish,

the ones that got away are heading to bed.

[Sammie] I'm not gonna lie.
I am super sad that he didn't take me.

[yawns]

[Miranda] Any of those ladies
would have been a great choice

to have a dinner date with,

but, Adam, I might pick on you
a little bit for not choosing me,

but, hopefully, we'll have plenty of time.

I'm still here,
and I'm not going anywhere.

[Michelle]
While the rest of The Circle snoozes,

the battle of the catfish continues.

Rebecca.

Let's... Let's have fun.

Message:
"Is it true that you are a heart-stopper?

And if so, will you..."

"Will you stop mine?" Ugh.

Let's go, Rebecca. Let's go.

Something about that just seems insincere.

You... are blooming right now.

You are absolutely... [sniffs]
...blossoming.

I think Rebecca has something
that she's hiding.

I'm just gonna ask...

Message:

"What has it been like for you so far
being in The Circle, question mark.

Do you think there's anybody
I should look out for, question mark."

Send.

Ooh. Wow, that's a good question.

Message:

"Someone you should have
on your side is Shubham."

"But also watch out for Mercedeze
because she has a smart mouth."

- Huh.
- There's that alliance.

[Alex] Message:

"I really appreciate your honest opinion
on the situation."

Message:

"I'm truthfully and honestly grateful
that I got the opportunity

to go on this date with you."

"It was breathtaking."

I don't know about that.

"And I hope we can do it again very soon.
XOXOXO."

I think I might be... getting duped.

This was absolutely,

positively Rebecca's best work yet.

I just don't trust it. She's too naive.

["Blue Monday" playing]

[Michelle] It's a beautiful morning,
not that the Players will appreciate it

'cause they're still locked
in their apartments,

competing for that 100K.

[grunts] Good morning, Circle.

[kisses] Good morning, baby.

God, I wake up, and I'm in The Circle.

And the blue checks are all gone.

Yes! They're gone.

Ah.

We have no more Influencers.

Chris and Shooby are done.

Oh, no! No, no, no! [chuckles]

Things don't last forever in this game.

I wonder who went on a date with Adam.

[Michelle] Not as much as he does.

Circle, update status.

This is a new feeling.

This is unfamiliar territory.

"I am absolutely
on cloud nine this morning.

Had an amazing night.

My heart has absolutely melted."

Oh, we're gonna do the angel emoji, right?

Oh? "My heart has absolutely melted."

I don't know the repercussions
of liking the post,

but I'm gonna go ahead and like the post.

Aww.

He's thinking of us.

[Michelle] After Adam, aka Alex,
hosted a group chat

with all the girls but Miranda,
she's feeling left out,

so she starts a girly chat
to put the pieces together.

"Good morning, beautiful ladies,
exclamation point.

Smiley face.

How was your chat with Adam last night?

What do you guys think?"

I knew you were gonna come in here
being nosy.

[panting] I've never been in a girls' chat
to talk about guys,

so this is gonna be... a new experience.

Message: "The chat with Adam
was very amazing.

Also, I believe
that he will absolutely steal your heart.

Dot, dot, dot. Hashtag Zipper." Send.

Message, at Rebecca:

"Well, I don't think
he wanted to steal my heart.

Laughing face emoji,
but that's okay. LOL."

Aw, Miranda. [chuckles]

Let's play it girly.

Like, message:

"All right,
let's get to the meat and potatoes.

Who went on the date, and how was it?
Laugh out loud.

I'm trying to live vicariously
through them."

Message: "Well, now that you said
it wasn't you, and I know it wasn't me,

that just leaves Rebecca. LOL.

So, now I need to know,
exclamation point, exclamation point."

Send.

Come on, Rebecca.

Give us the juice, girl.

Message, at Mercedeze:

"Girl, there is enough meat and potatoes
to go around

because Adam is absolutely gorgeous."

[Sammie chuckles]

Seriously?

So, are you ready to sip on your tea
this morning?

Ooh, Rebecca,
are you gonna dish what happened?

My cup is ready, boo!

They love the gossip.

I feel like, hopefully, some juicy stuff
is about to come up. What's up, girl?

"So, he sent me a huge teddy bear
and wrote me a beautiful message.

He got off to an amazing start."

[gasps] He sent a huge teddy bear?

Aw! [chuckles]

But that's too much for me.
I'm not into that romantic stuff.

It's like sending a pigeon
back in the old days

with a letter tied to their leg.

"Let me just fly my bird to your room."

Message: "Oh, my God, the romance!"
In all capitals.

"Ladies, he wrote:
'To my future honey bear,

When you get lonely at night,
give this a squeeze,

and I hope you think of me. ""

Aw, I love that.

[squeals] Ugh!

[retches]

[Michelle] I guess Sammie's
more of a cat onesie kind of girl, then.

And while the girls finish their tea,
Adam, aka Alex,

tries to milk the guys for info.

"Adam has invited you to a bros' chat."

He wants to be bros!
I would love to be bros!

Let's see what's poppin' today.

I'm ready to get this goin'.

Message: "Hi, how is everybody feeling
this morning, question mark." Send.

Keep it general, keep it broad.

Message: "Like a million dollars, bro!
So happy to finally connect with you."

Where does Adam live in LA?

Well, he loves the beach,

so, naturally, he would have to live
on the West Side.

He kind of looks like he'd be
from Santa Monica.

Or one of the beach towns,
like... Huntington.

Message, at Chris: "I'm living in Venice.

Can't be too far from the beach.
Water emoji."

Send.

"Called it.
Totally get beach vibes from you.

I love Dogtown."

Message:
"Still getting the lay of the land.

I love the food out here,
but coming from NYC,

I'm not gonna lie,

I'm going through some serious...
pizza emoji... withdrawals."

Send.

[Chris] Message, at Adam:

"I feel you, hon.
I'm from the Big D, Dallas,

and I'm having serious withdrawals.

Hashtag chips and salsa.

Is pizza the beauty secret?"

Ooh! Oh.

What do we know? Chris is being Chris.

And he's keeping a good flirtation going.

Message, at Chris:

"Pizza is my beauty secret,

but it has to be followed
by a hundred crunches."

And then, like, strong arm emoji.
And send it.

I think I can do about ten crunches
before I, like, collapse.

At Adam: "You must come down
to Texas one day... [laughing]

...and get a taste of this taco."
That's so stupid.

[chuckles softly] Chris.

I can't take this, like...

This flirtation everyone is doing.

It just seems so... like, fake.

This is why I'm single.

What kind of flirting sh*t is that?

"Come on down to Texas
and get a taste of this taco?"

So, Adam hasn't...
literally hasn't talked to me once

in this chat.

I don't like him. I think he's annoying.

Message: "I feel like Miss Rebecca
is in love with Adam."

"Someone had a romantic dinner."

Oh, Christ.

It seems like Adam could be cutting in
on my bro-ey with Joey,

and he looks like
he already has taken over

the Rebecca angle.

"It was a very romantic dinner.

I have to get to know Rebecca more
to know if the spark was...

is there for me." Send.

Rebecca probably told him
how close we were.

So, at least this gives me hope
on that front.

"We got nothing but time, bro.

We can discuss this at the gym.

Push-up contest?

Hashtag let's do it."

At Joey:

"A little rusty at the push-ups,
but I'm sure I can take you."

He thinks he can work out,
and that's cute, I respect that.

Let him come to the gym with me.
He won't walk for two weeks.

Message, at Joey, at Adam:

"I know I'm the smallest,
but I reckon I can put up a good fight."

"Let's speak soon,
and hope you settle in, Adam."

That's very nice.

Why is Shooby such a sweetheart?

Message:
"All right, my dudes, love you all.

Adam, look forward
to the friendly competition.

Speak soon, mwah!" Send.

"I guess I should go practice
to keep up with you guys.

Hope to talk with everyone later." Send.

Whatever. Whatever.

[Michelle] It's not just the boys
who are so competitive

they literally set up a contest
within another contest,

'cause yesterday, Miranda and Sammie
gave each other the daunting task

of getting naughty Joey
to send a naughty emoji.

This could get... naughty.

Let's talk to Sammie
and see how she's feeling today.

Let's spread the love.

Message: "My love, exclamation point,
exclamation point.

Haven't talked to you in a while.
How's everything going?" Send.

Ooh. She said, "My love."
She's thinking of me.

Message: "I've been waiting to talk to ya,
sweetheart.

A lot's been going on.

Smoke popping out of the head emoji."
Send.

See how she feels about that.

Message: "Yeah, I'm okay.

Just got done doing some squats.
Winky face."

Hopefully, he sends, like,
"Can't go wrong with some squats.

Peach emoji."

Oh vey.

"Just got done doing some squats."

She wants to reference the gym,
I'll reference the gym.

Message:

"You know,
squatting can be very dangerous.

You can't do this alone anymore.

I think you need me as your spotter."

[Sammie]
"I think you need me as your spotter."

I don't even know... know
if I've ever actually really done a squat.

I'll show her a thing or two
about leg day.

I think I worked out, like,
two months ago.

I almost threw up, like, three times,
and it was only 30 minutes.

Sammie's flirting. I'm flirting back.

She's wanting me to picture dirty things
in my mind, and it's working.

I don't know what I'm even gonna say
that would get him to use the peach emoji.

I'm trying to think.
What could I say about my butt?

Message: "I don't know
if you can handle standing in the back,

but we can test it out." #JuicyBooty.
Send.

You know,
I have a feeling she's gonna one-up this.

She's gonna keep taking this up.

See? She took it up.

"Juicy booty."

That was a good one. The "juicy booty"
might have reeled him in.

She thinks she's gonna intimidate me?

I'm going for the jugular.

I just want him to send a peach bum emoji,
that's it.

"I never turn down a challenge.

Looks like this experiment
is gonna have to take place, honey."

Send.

He didn't give me the emoji.

"I'm dying to see more of ya.
Let's bring on some photos."

Message: "If only you could see
my private albums.

Ass sh*ts all day. LOL.

Splash emoji." Send.

[laughs] I wanna see his reaction.

I feel like guys get so, like,
worked up over this sh*t.

Meanwhile, girls are just sitting there,
like, entertaining.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Joey, just give me an emoji.

That's all I need.

"I'm going to take a cold shower
and collect my thoughts."

"I'm gonna take a cold shower
and collect my thoughts.

Love ya, peace out."

[laughs] Well, that was ended shortly.

I need to see those private albums!

[Michelle] While Joey
tries to hack into The Circle,

Shubham is fishing
for some sensitive data himself.

[Seaburn] Oh!

Message: "Hey! Miss you and our talks.

How was last night with Adam?" Send.

I hope she says, "It was okay."

Aw. Message:
"I miss you and our talks as well.

I've been dying to congratulate you
on getting the blue tick.

You more than deserved it.

Last night with Adam had me
on cloud nine."

[Shubham] "He sent me a body-sized bear.

Dot, dot, dot. Hashtag OMG."

sh*t! [scoffs]

[Seaburn] I really want
for him to feel confident in our alliance

that just 'cause some guy

whose big hunky muscles comes
and woos me over,

doesn't mean that I forgot about Shubham.

Because Shubham is my first friend.

She's on cloud nine?

[sighs] Okay, message: "That means a lot.

I'm glad I had the blue tick
so I could protect you." Send.

Aw!

Shubham! Wow.

That... That response caught me off guard.

Shubham is... [sighs]

He's flirting, potentially.

Message: "I... I actually...

I really thought you'd get picked
for the date

because you're always so authentic,

but I feel that Adam's strategy
is to flirt with the girls."

Oh.

Huh. Maybe.

See through the flirtation of Adam.

There's other stuff beyond that, Rebecca.

Like, you're a really smart girl,
and I hope you see through that sh*t.

[Michelle] We're on to episode five,
so y'all should know by now

that whenever you see
a montage of Players relaxing,

something's about to jump off!

- [alarm blares]
- [Joey] Oh!

[all] Alert!

Yeah! This is what I was waiting for.
Come on.

"Players, it's time for the Ratings."
[chuckling] Oh, no.

Hold on, we're gonna do that right now?

So soon?

Oh, my stomach has turned.

[Miranda]
"You must rank your fellow Players

from favorite to least favorite."

[sighs] Okay.

[sighs]

I think I could reasonably rank everybody,

- and if I had the option to...
- [Michelle] You don't.

Let's do it!
Let's get the show on the road!

Okay,
I need to put Rebecca in fifth place.

I just feel like everybody has
this good-girl image of her,

but good girls can always go bad.

I want to put Rebecca second.

From day one, she's just been that person
that I've always looked at

and been like: "She just seems
like a really good person."

In third place, I'd like to put Sammie.

Sammie and I had one of the most warm
and genuine chats

I've had in The Circle.

I really do enjoy Sammie.

I'm gonna put Sammie as my third
and lock that in.

So fourth: Miranda. [chuckles]

At first, she didn't start off too well
with me,

but now she's made up for it.

Third ranking is Miranda
because we have a good connection.

I think it can go somewhere.

Let's let her and Sammie duke it out
for me.

Joey. Him and I have just connected
more than anybody else,

so he's gonna be my first.

I hope he's got me first too.

All right, number six... is Joey.

I'm sorry, bro,
but you ain't make the initiative

to speak to me either.
So number six is Joey.

Mercedeze, I bless you
with my first position again.

Circle, in fourth place,
could you please put Mercedeze?

She's one of the smartest of the bunch.

I'm just skeptical
she could either be a catfish

or she's setting me up to come at me.

My first Rating is going to go to Shubham.

Him having my best interest in mind,

he's more deserving of this spot
than other Players.

Shubham, you get my fourth place.

You have shown me

that you really are loyal
to those that you care for.

Please let that be the right decision,
Lord.

[Shubham] Please put Chris in sixth place.

My instinct is telling me
Chris is ready to make a move against me,

and if I can t*nk him for the Ratings

and get him
out of the Influencer position,

that's all good for me.

Lock in Chris as number one.

If I have to give a little bit of power
to anybody, it would be Chris,

because I feel like
he would make a heartfelt decision.

[alarm blares]

Ratings complete!

[Michelle] With Ratings done,
it's time to play a little game.

"Hashtag This."

[Chris] What is this about?

[Michelle] In this game, each Player
gets to upload a new photo

and give it a hashtag.

I'm sure everybody will be
on their best behavior.

[groans] I have to hashtag my own photo?

God, I'm not the hashtagger.

[Michelle] To make it even juicier,

everyone gets to add a hashtag
to each Player's new picture.

That's right, anonymously.

Anonymous and this is always a bad combo.

[Michelle] First up: Shooby.

Circle,
please go to the "Happiness" album.

Uh, Circle,
please open the bottom right picture.

I like this photo
because it's just extremely funny.

Circle, add the hashtag
"before and after caffeine."

Ah!

[laughing]

[chuckles]

What if we do something silly and dirty,
like, "Nerd nuts... are sexy"?

[laughs]

"Nerd nuts are sexy"?

I'll take it, I guess.

I mean, I didn't get...
I didn't know I give off the nerdy vibe,

but, yeah, okay, all right.

Showing that you graduated from UCLA
is, like, kind of a humblebrag.

Please hashtag
"smarter than the average bear."

"Hashtag smarter than the average bear"?

"Hashtag big heads."

"Hashtag I'm smarter than your boyfriend."

Damn, everyone's coming at my brain.

Message: "Appreciate the kind words.

Means a lot."

You can't not like him.

You just can't.

"Next up is Rebecca."

All right, Rebecca, what do you have?

It will freak everybody out
to see that there is two and not just one.

[Joey] "Sister sister."

I like that.

She told the truth. She's a twin.

"Hashtag two is better than one."

"Hashtag caring and protective."

"Hashtag double the pleasure,
double the fun."

[Seaburn] Message: "Thank you, guys.

And I told you I had a twin."

Send.

"Next up is Miranda."

So, Circle, let's go with this photo.

And let's go with the hashtag,
"Who let the T. rex out?"

That's Miranda?

Girl, that's a badass body, man.

And she's yet again
in another bathing suit.

I got it.

"Hashtag strong but sexy."

"Hashtag strong but sexy." Thanks.

Aw, that was Joey.
I know that was Joey.

Oh, I know a good one.

"Hashtag Tittysaurus Rex."

That is hilarious.

- [Michelle] That is hilarious.
- Not that funny.

[Michelle] Don't be salty, girl.
It's funny.

[Joey] I'm up next.

There's no question in my mind,
I got the best photo in the lineup.

To my right is Miss Lady Gaga,
to my left is Adele.

"#LoveTriangle."

Send.

The love triangle.

Huh. Interesting.

Who are these ladies?

[Karyn] I think that's a family photo.

Maybe a aunt or a sister
or something of that nature.

This might be the most excited I've been.

To see how people are gonna react.

Wow. Is that Lady Gaga?

Is that Adele?

Is that Sarah Paulson?

[Joey] "Pucker up." "Mr. Loverman."

"Want your bad bromance."

That's clever.

Message:
"Who is the other person behind you?"

"Who is the other person behind you?"

Oh, dear.

At Rebecca:

"Honey, that's Adele. LOL."

Send message.

"That's Adele."

Message: "Love all these guys.

Best night ever."

Damn, I'm a huge Lady Gaga fan.

Some of her... Okay, a couple of her songs.

[Michelle] Shooby is gaga.

Next Little Monster is Adam.

We look at that, and then we look at this.

I can acknowledge when a man
is fit as f*ck.

"Hashtag feeling hot."

Let's see what he posts.

He looks like an old man.

The girls and Chris
are definitely gonna be like, "Ooh."

"Hashtag damn, Gina."

[Alex] "Damn, Gina."

Aw, that's my wife's name.

"Hashtag damn, Gina" is probably Chris,
'cause he's always using weird names.

I couldn't help it.
I couldn't help it. I mean, look at that.

"Hashtag I'm buying you longer shorts."

Okay. Uh, it's, like, a mixed bag.

Next to bag a new pic is Sammie.

I really want to go with a picture
that shows, like, my... my tomboy side.

Yeah, I think this is the picture
that I'm gonna go with.

"Hashtag I'm the daddy."

Yes. That's it.

Wow, she looks so different
in that picture.

"I'm the daddy." She likes to be dominant.
We like that.

I think she's really hot.

Adam thinks she's really hot.
I have a beautiful wife.

Oh, I'm in love!

The real me is in love!

"Hashtag dominance." Send.

"Hashtag you could be my daddy any night."

[Sammie chuckles]

Jesus.

Message: "Daddy can chain me up

and teach me a lesson
or two... two any time.

Zipper mouth emoji.

Devil emoji." Send.

[Seaburn] Wow. Adam!

Shubham was right.
He is flirting with all of the girls.

There is a fine line to walk.

Adam is a weirdo.

That much I can say.

[Sammie] Here we go.

Who's up? Chris!

I love Chris.

Circle, I want to use this photo.

It just says everything.

"Hashtag this is the American dream."
Post it.

Aw, Chris looks good.

Looks like Chris's family. It looks nice.

It's probably my favorite one of him.

Every picture I see of him,
he looks completely different.

Every single time.

Message: "Hashtag
none of your pictures match." Send.

I feel bad, but, like, it's true.

Ooh!

"None of your pictures match."

Oh, my God, they think I'm catfishing.

That is hilarious.

"Hashtag everyone knows you're fake."

Make him get suspicious.
Everyone's talking about it.

Holy sh*t.

Message: "b*tches, don't hate.

LOL."

Send message.

[Alex] God, everybody thinks he's fake.

Message: "I know we just met,
but I think you're the real deal."

Thank you, Adam.

You know what, Adam?
You're such a kiss-ass.

Unbelievable.

Oh! "Next up is Mercedeze."

I like this picture of me.

"Hashtag the blacker the berri"

With an i

because I am the hottest topic around,
bro.

The blacker the berry,
the sweeter the juice!

What, what!

Mercedeze looks totally different.

One: she's posing.
One: she's got on, like, skater shoes.

I know she don't skate.

I should keep stirring the pot
'cause I'm anonymous.

"Hashtag the faker the juice." Send.

"The faker the juice."
I knew it was coming.

Yeah, message: "Hashtag poser."

I mean, we could say: "Hashtag
I didn't know there was a catfish filter."

"To catfish or not to catfish."

Oh, man!

"Hashtag Antonio knows the truth."

Oh!

Holy sh*t!

I am positive that he went to see her.

Damn.

So, five out of the six people
that could have said something

called her a catfish and called her fake.

[Karyn groans]

"Since everyone is so real,

anyone want to admit
which hashtag belongs to who?"

- Wow.
- [in singsong] Someone's angry!

Oh, my God.

I'll say it. You know what?
I'm gonna step up and say it.

Message.

[theme song playing]