01x05 - Love Match Supreme Part 2

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on Freelancers.

Why don't you relax into
a pit of spikes?

- I will let you make the Love
Match Supreme ad,

if you can all bring dates to
our Valentine's dance

tomorrow night.

- I think we need to know how to
play these instruments

in order to attract women.

- You're weak! Will you
go out with me?

- Clearly no.

- The point is I'm going out
with this gorgeous

woman tomorrow night.

- How did we not think of using
the very app that brought us

all here in the first place.

- Boys.

- Yeah.

- We've got dating
profiles to make.

[Wicket Youth by Sego playing]

- Profiles done. Let's do this.

- Okay guys, let's get swiping.

- I got a match.

- Me too.

- I got one.

- What! What kind of crusty
matches did you get so quick?

They beautiful.

- Yeah, my guys like Idris Elba
mix with a possum.

Just my type.

- Yeah, my girls like
Miss Kentucky,

but with all her teeth.

- My girl looks like a
pretty cloud.

- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

- Man, what gives jabronis,
why no match for Zona?

- Maybe its because of
the way you talk.

- Zona don't worry.

Seriously it's only been
like 30 seconds.

You'll get one.

- Why no match for Zona!

- Come on Zona, you
still got time.

- No, it's too late for me.

- It's never too late.

- Whoa. Do you always answer
the phone that way?

- Ah no, I rotate through
three phrases.

So how are my love losers doing?

- We're good.
Everything's perfect.

- Okay, just wanted to remind
you that if you all

don't have dates by tonight,

I'm going to have to take my
business elsewhere.

- What?

No!

- You, sound worried?

- No, I'm not worried.

In fact, I'm here with my
boyfriend Clod.

He's here and he wants
to talk to you.

- Oh.

Oui.

I am Clod.

- He's French and very shy.

- Okay, great, yeah. Excited
to see you tonight.

- Okay, goodbye.

- Guys, I.

- Don't take him back.
He's a pig.

- Mr. Doyle.

- Oh, sh**t.

I didn't mean to call you again.
Bye.

- Guys, we're never gonna get
this job because of me.

- Zona. I think you're just
being too picky.

You gotta swipe right
on everybody.

- Yeah, sometimes you
just gotta let go

and let life happen to you.

Like when I got stuck in that
giant tumbleweed.

- Girl what?

- Okay.

- Yes.

- I feel like she shoulda
got a match by now.

- Definitely.

Yeah.

- Your profile pic isn't the one
of you at the Grand Canyon

where the wind makes you look
like John Travolta is it?

- I think it is.

I bet it is.

- Is it?

- It is.

- Zona what have I told you.

- Aha, I got a match.

- Oh.

- Saints deliver us.

- He's got like a moon head.

But it's waning.

- His few teeth are very
evenly spaced.

- Yeah, he's got all the
right features.

In all the wrong places.

- It's like his eyes, are
avoiding eye contact,

with each other.

- Maybe it's the angle.

- My eyes feel like they
have hair on them.

- Okay. Whatever. We
all have dates.

Now let's go.

- No, no, let me keep trying.

- No, no. Just tell him to
meet you at the dance.

- I can get someone better.

- Give up on love.

[Back On Top by Oscar Hill &
Justin Black playing]

- Oh yeah.

Oh, man I'm nervous.

I hope Emily likes me.

- Said to meet me here 7,
guess he's running late.

- Yeah, Rachel too. What cars
are your dates driving?

- Mine said she'd be
arriving in a grey Volvo.

- Wait, seriously? Troy
said grey Volvo too.

- Ta-dah!

- Wait, what's going on here?

Where's my, my Idris possum?

- I catfished all of you.

For friendship.

- That's not a thing.

- You always working.

This is the only way for us to
spend quality time together.

- How'd you know how to make
profiles that would hook us?

- I feel like I know you like a
mother knows her womb fruit.

- I wrote you personal poems,
man.

- I gave you my social
security number.

- Rachel promised tacos.

Ooou, carnitas.

- You can't eat a pocket taco.

- Well, I can't now.

- You're a deceiver.

Isabella and I were gonna
get milkshakes.

- Like you could eat
a milkshake.

- We were gonna share.

- Man, this really is a shame.

I was looking
forward to meeting.

Merlin.

- I didn't catfish you.

- Marlin's real?

- Wait, why not?

- I never cared for Zona.

- What!

Why no care for Zona?

- Sssssh, just go home
Mr. Gandolfini.

- All right, I'll see
you at home.

- No, no, to your home.

Don't you dare go
near our house.

- Huz-zah

- Well.

That's it, time's up and
we're all alone.

- Hey!

Hey!

We're alone together.

We're alone, together.

We're all alone together.

- Devin's right. We
don't need dates.

We're our dates.

- Let's do this.

- Yeah. Hold our heads high.

- Let people stare.

[Feels so Good by Kevin Ronnie
McPherson playing]

- Wait, who are you?

- Is this not a line dance?

- Oh, sorry. No.

[Feels so Good by Kevin Ronnie
McPherson playing]

- Well, obviously I'm giving the
Love Match Supreme account

to Prank Fart Studios.

Since you all failed miserably.

- We understand Mr. Doyle.

- Are you Zona?

- What am I looking at?

- Am I upside down or
is his face?

You look like Shrek,

but like a, like a, a
bootleg Chinese copy.

Is this what they
signed Bird box?

Zona is this your date?

- Yeah.

- I take it back. Love truly
knows no bounds.

The account is yours.

- Really?

The dating app of your dreams.

- Is love match supreme.

- Love match surprise.

- Ahh, never mind.

You're fired.

- Noooooo!

- Get outta here you.

- Cursed me with his face.

- What's wrong with his butt!

- If you wanna date, but not
leave your couch,

try Love Match Supreme.

When you're hunting for a
man and his name is DAN!

If you're feeling lonely,
than that's baloney.

Just pick up your phoney and
call your homie,

take him to Romey.

Su-batcha-lomey!

If your in love with the couch,

and you wanna start a family.

No couches Zona!

Dating app of your dreams,
it's Love Match Supreme,

it's gonna be good, it's gonna
be better than Hollywood.

Love match Supreme,

is better than beans.

- Better than beans.

- No, it's not good enough.