04x06 - Quinn Misses the Mark

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Come on, fast forward.

- I'm fast forwarding.

[error alert chiming]

- So at a temperature
of 20 degrees Celsius

and a pressure
of 101.325 KPA absolute--

- Where the density
is 1.205 kilograms

over meters cubed.

- My foot itches.

[error alert chiming]

- Shouldn't you guys
be heading on up to bed?

- You're bonging.
You need to be blipping.

- I'll blip you.
- Give it.

- No, I'm doing it.
- No, give it to me!

- Give it back. I had it first.
- Zo-zo, listen.

No! Zoey--
here, let me do it!

- No, I'm doing it.

- Oh, give it--

[electricity powering down]

Why'd the power go out?

- Weird.

- All right, let's crash.
- Later, gators.

- Night.
- See you.

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

- Don't you just love
snuggling?

- Okay.

- You wanna maybe...

Kiss?

Okay, Mark, what up?
- What up what?

- You've been acting weird for,
like, two weeks now.

- I don't know.

We've been going out
for a long time.

Maybe we should...

take a little break.

- A break from each other?

- Kinda.

- Okay,
if that's what you want.

- Ah, thanks.

You rock.

[solemn music]

[door opening and closing]

♪ ♪

- Did you get it?
- Did he get it?

- I got it.
- He got it.

Okay, just bring 'em here

and don't eat
any of the cookies.

- Hey, don't be rude.

I didn't have to stop
by the mail room

and pick up
your big cookie basket.

- Dude.
- And I expect

at least nine cookies
when I get there.

- No, way, you get one.

MICHAEL: One?

All right, then.

There,

now your cookie basket's
on the ground

and I'm walkin' away.

- No, Michael.
- What happened?

- He set the cookie basket down,
and he's walking away.

- Oh, give me the phone.

Hey, man, just pick up
the basket

and bring it here.

You can have as many cookies
as you want.

- Thank you.

- No, they're mine!
He only gets one.

- I need cookies.

- On my way.

[laughs]
It's cookie time--

[horse whinnies]

What in the--
um, hello.

[stammers] Those cookies
aren't for you.

Seriously, just--just--

just step away from--

[horse whinnies]
[screams]

- A horse?

- I know it sounds weird,
but it's true.

- You ate my cookies.

- I did not!

I wish I had but I did not.

Tell him I'm not lying.

- Okay, Cookie Monster.

- Here, smell my breath.

- No.
- Smell it.

Do you smell cookie
in here?

[exhales]

- Gross!
Never do that again.

- James, feel my tummy.
It feels flat and empty.

- I'm not feeling
your tummy.

- That cookie basket was a gift

from one of my stepmoms.

- Which one?
- I don't know,

but it was
a very meaningful gift

and I can't believe
you ate it.

- Okay, that tears it.

I'm gonna prove to you both
that it was a horse.

I'll prove it.

LOLA: Anyway, Quinn,

I gotta say,
I think you're taking

this whole Mark thing
really well.

- Yeah, how come
you're not more upset?

- You know, 'cause
it's just a guy thing.

I think Mark just wanted
a little time to himself.

What's wrong?

- Nothing.
- Nothing at all.

Just don't turn around.

- [laughs]

- Quinn?

- Stay calm.

- I'm calm.

- Maybe
she's just a friend.

- Yeah, just a friend
whose hand he's holding

while he giggles
like a schoolgirl!

I'll be back.
- Wait.

Give me your zap watch.

- I promise I won't.
- Give it.

And your ankle laser.

- Be right back.

Hello, Mark,
Mark's friend.

- Hi.

- Excuse me a sec.

Look, Quinn--

- I see why you wanted to take
a little break.

Who is she?

- She's Brooke.

She started going here
last semester.

- And that's what you want?

A brainless trollop
wearing a shirt

that wouldn't fit
an eight-year-old boy?

- She's in my chemistry class,
and she wasn't

understanding anything.

- Ooh, that's a shock.

- So I was helping her
with some homework,

and--I don't know--
she started liking me

and I guess I kinda started
liking her back.

- You lied to me!

- Shh, I didn't mean to.
I just--

I didn't want you
to get upset.

- [scoffs]
Too late.

[beeps]

MARK: Quinn.

- Eat yellowtail!

- Why'd you do that?

- 'Cause he hates
yellowtail!

[beep]

[zapping]

[crashing]

[electricity crackling]

- Oh, no!

[speaking in Japanese]

[horn honks]

- So I'm thinking
about becoming a male model,

but I don't really need
the money

'cause my dad's got
over a hundred mil.

- Oh.
[giggles]

- Come on, this way.

[horse chuffs]

Follow Michael.
Keep walking.

[horse whinnies]
Look at the cookie, yeah.

- Wanna feel my hair?

I use this special
Norwegian conditioner.

You can only get it by--
- Lookit, a horse.

- See, I wasn't lying.

- Where'd that come from?
- I don't know,

but he's here
and he ate your cookies.

And now I'm standing here
waiting for an apology.

- I'll apologize to you
when he apologizes

for eating
my cookie basket.

- I gotta get to class.
I'll feel your hair later.

- No, wait.
- Say you're sorry

for not believing me
about this horse.

- Fine, I'm sorry.
Bye.

Wait, no.

- All right, horse.

Thanks for proving
I'm not a liar.

[chuckles]

Now, go back to wherever
you came from.

[horse neighing]

What?

[horse neighing]

What do you--
[horse chuffs]

Come on, horse.
This is my last cookie.

[horse neighing]

All right, take it.
Take my cookie.

MAN: ♪ I always cry ♪

♪ When you're not around ♪

♪ You can weep
when you're gone ♪

♪ You make me sing
this sad song ♪

♪ You make me cry ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What you doing?

- Mangling Mark's face.

- This is not a good use
of your time.

- Well, it makes me
feel better.

Two years.

I gave that boy
two years of love,

and he repays me
by--by dumping me

for some dumb little trollop
in a tank top?

- Sometimes guys just--

you know,
they think they want girls

who look and dress
like that.

- Hey, Lola.

You left your laundry
in the dryer.

- Okay, back in a few.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Bank shot.

- Ooh, fancy.

You think you can beat me
with shots like that?

Come on.

Bank shot.

- Uh, horse.

- No, that's just h-o.

- Dude.

- The only two shots I missed
were that one and--

[horse chuffs]

You're back?
[horse whinnies]

I told you to go home.

- Where'd he come from?

- I don't know.

[beeping]

- Uh-oh.

Zoey says I'm late.

- Late for what?

- I don't know,
but she's my girlfriend

and she says I'm late,
so the best thing for me to do

would be to run.

Later.
- Late.

[horse whinnies]

[sighs]

Okay, horse,

I'm gonna go
take a shower.

You...go back to wherever
you trotted here from.

All right?

[horse whinnies]

Bye-bye.

Go on.

[horse whinnies]

ZOEY: [laughs]
MAN: Captain,

it seems that
the Pafluvian lemonade

causes extreme burping.
- Oh, no.

Well, now what
are we supposed to do...

- [laughs]

- Oh, God, you guys
aren't gonna be

one of those couples,
are you?

- I just fed him a grape.

Want me to feed you one?

- Okay.

[laughs]

- Hey, you guys ever see
that video

where the lady
was stomping grapes

and she broke her--

QUINN: Aloha.

- Oh, my God.

- Quinn?

- You guys seen Mark
around?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- Quinn.

Quinn, Quinn, hey.

- Can we talk later?

Look, I have to find Mark.

- Will you just go back
to our room

and change into
your normal clothes

and scrape that stuff
off your face?

- [scoffs]

- And put your glasses on?

- No.

Look, if looking like this

is what gets Mark's attention,

then here I am.

- But this is not the way

to get attention from guys.

- Hey, Quinn, I don't know
if you're doing anything

Saturday night,
but if you're free, I thought--

- Good-bye.

Quinn.
- I want Mark back.

- But this is the wrong way
to do it.

- Lola said that this is
the kind of girl some guys want.

- But this doesn't work
for you.

- Wow, Quinn.
- Keep walking.

- It sure seems like
it's working.

- My wizard attacks
your magic dragon.

- And I respond with my wand
of many mysteries.

- Burn.

- Can I play?

- You broke up with her?

- Can I date her?
MARK: No!

- I'll give you my wizard card
and two magic trolls.

- Stop.

Quinn.

- Yeah, baby?

- What are you doing?
- What do you mean?

- Your face, your hair,
your lack of glasses, your--

- You like?

- No. This isn't you.

- Well,
it's what you want.

- I'm not dating Brooke

because she looks hot.

We just really connected.

- Uh-huh.
- Seriously.

We both collect
antique calendars,

we both like to knit--

- I'd rather not hear about

your magical connections
with Brooke.

- I'm just saying
I like her for her.

Her hotness is just gravy.

- You hate gravy.

Remember the one time
I put gravy on your potato?

You didn't speak to me
for two days.

- Quinn, I--
- Just forget it.

Forget everything!

[upbeat music]

- I'm telling you,
they're called daddy longlegs.

MAN: Hey, come on,
they can't all be daddies.

- No, I know they can't
all be daddies, but--

[horse chuffs]

- One, two...

Three, four...

Five, six...

Seven, eight...

WOMAN: ♪ All the things
I'm expected to remember ♪

♪ Can be
a perfect catastrophe ♪

♪ That's me
wanting a little ♪

♪ I've been caught up
in the middle ♪

♪ Spread my wings
and stand tall ♪

♪ Spread my wings ♪

♪ And stand tall ♪

♪ Do you want to see me now? ♪

MAN: ♪ Would you miss me? ♪

[horn honks]

♪ Would you miss me? ♪

♪ 'Cause I miss you ♪

♪ I miss you ♪

- What's your problem?

- Nothing, Logan.
Just keep riding.

MAN: ♪ I miss you ♪

- You been crying?

What's wrong?

- Nothing.

- Come on, talk to me.

- Mark broke up with me.

- Oh, yeah.
I heard you got dumped.

Broken up with.

- Yeah, after two years.

- Why'd he dump--

Break up with you?

- 'Cause he fell
for Brooke Margolin.

- Ooh, she's hot.

Hot-ish.

- You got to quit
following me around.

[horse neighing]

Look, this is a school.

You're not enrolled in it.

Now, please,
just go on home.

All right?

Will you stop following me
everywhere?

Look, I'm not your owner,
and I'm not your friend.

There, I said it.

All right?

- Michael.
- What?

- Can I use your Jet X?
- It's back in my dorm.

- Oh, man!
- What's the problem?

- I laid down in the lounge
to take a 5-minute nap,

which turned into
a 45-minute nap,

and if I don't get to class
in four minutes,

Mr. Thatcher's gonna give me
a zero and ruin my life.

- Well, uh--
[horse whinnies]

[adventure music]

[chuffs]

♪ ♪

I'll get you there.

Give me your hand.
- Where'd you get a horse?

- No time for questions.
Give me your hand.

H'ya!
- This is insane.

H'ya!
[horse whinnies]

♪ ♪

- I mean...

I guess I can't be
mad at Mark.

- Well, if it makes you feel
any better,

I think Mark's an idiot.

- Yeah, yeah.
I know you hate him.

- I-I don't hate him.

I mean, he's an idiot
for breaking up with you.

- Why do you say that?

- I don't know.
I mean--look.

We all know you're weird,

but you're smart,

you're pretty,

and you're kind of fun.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

And, uh, why are you dressed
like that?

- I was trying to compete
with Brooke.

- Well, don't.

Hey, there's Quinn.

ZOEY: Faster.
MICHAEL: Giddy-up!

[horse whinnies]

- Weirdest day ever.

- Uh-huh.

[adventure music]

♪ ♪

- Giddy-up!

♪ ♪

- Here, right here.

- Whoa, whoa, boy.
This is the place.

[horse whinnies, chuffs]

♪ ♪

- Thanks.

- No charge.

[horse chuffs]
[laughs]

Who's a good boy?

Who did good?
You did.

[chuckles]

Uh--
[clears throat]

Nothing to see here.

It's just a young man
and a horse

having a conversation.

Move along.

[clicks tongue]

[upbeat music]

Hey, come on.

♪ ♪

You know, if we're gonna be
hanging out together,

you need a name.

Let's see.

I think I'll call you...
Sparkplug.

You like that?
[horse chuffs]

Yeah, I'll call you Sparkplug,

and you call me Michael.

Can you say Michael?
[horse whinnies]

Yeah, I knew you could.

- There he is.
- Winchester.

[gasps]
Winchester!

Oh, Winchester!

Oh, you had me worried
half to death.

- Winchester?

- This is Faye Dobson

and that's her horse.

- Oh.

This is your horse.

- Yes.

My husband forgot
to lock the gate

and he got out
some time last weekend.

- Yeah.

We met each other
a few days ago.

- Well, thank you
for looking out for him.

I thought I'd never
see you again.

Isn't that right,
Winnie?

[horse neighing]
[Faye laughs]

Oh.

Well,

I should get him
back home.

- Hey, before you go...

Can I have a minute alone
with Spark--

Winchester?

- Of course.

[horse neighs]

- Well...

Looks like this is
good-bye.

I never really wanted
a horse anyway.

Anyway...

Got you a cookie.

I was gonna give it
to you later, but...

Looks like this is it.

You be good now.

[sobbing]
And don't forget me.

You can take him now.
[sobs]

Okay.
- Thank you again.

- Yeah.
- Come on, buddy.

[horse chuffs]
Come on.

[chuffs]

- [imitates chuffing]

- What's wrong?

- [grunting]

Nothing.

- Need a hug?
- [sniffs]

- Come on.
- [sobs]

WOMAN:
♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[ding]

MAN: Mmm.

LOGAN: Weirdest day ever.