WOMAN: Are you ready?
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪
♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪
♪ Do I look good today? ♪
♪ Today, today ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪
♪ And you want
to see my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
- I can't believe
I have two tests tomorrow.
- Well, I have to turn in
a 10-page paper
and I haven't even started yet.
- Yeah?
Well, I have more homework
than both of you guys
put together.
- Hey, pass the suntan lotion,
would ya?
- Sure.
[pop music playing on radio]
You know,
we really should be studying.
- Yeah, we should.
- So should.
- But we're just gonna
stay here
and lay in the sun, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- Absolutely.
- Oh, thank God.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
What are you people
doing up on our roof?
What are they doing
up on our roof?
- They appear to be
lying on chairs.
- Our chairs.
- Why are you all cranky?
- Someone hide your mirror?
[laughter]
- Funny.
Now get off our roof.
- No.
- We're not bothering you.
- Why should we have to leave?
- Because this is
the guys' dorm,
which means this roof is
for guys only.
- Chase, tell Logan
he's being an idiot.
- Actually,
I kind of agree with him.
- Thank you.
- Huh?
- Chase!
- You're taking Logan's side
on this?
- Well, look,
PCA was just a guy school
for a long time.
Then they let girls in,
which is great.
- Sometimes.
- But I think the guys do
kind of
need a place where we can just,
you know, be guys.
- Fine.
So pull up a chair and burp.
We don't care.
- Guys can't just be guys
when there's girls around.
- Why not?
- 'Cause when females
hang around males,
it just causes the males
to behave differently.
They can't help it.
- It's basic biology.
- You got a C-minus in biology.
- Yeah?
But who was the best-looking
guy in the class, huh?
Yeah, me.
- Uh...
[clears throat]
I was in that class.
- What's your point?
- Okay, I admit,
guys do act different
when girls are around,
but it's not 'cause of
"nature" or biology.
- Right, it's 'cause of
dumbness and stupidity.
- There you go.
Now why don't you be nice boys
and go fix us
some more lemonade?
- Uh-uh.
Now leave.
- No.
- Uh-oh.
She crossed her arms.
- It's on.
- So on.
- Fine.
Then I'll just go
tell our dorm advisor
to make you leave our roof.
- Then I'll talk to him too.
- Me too.
♪ ♪
- Uh, hey,
can you turn up the music?
- Yeah, sure.
♪ ♪
Hey, cool boom box.
- Oh, thanks.
I just got it.
♪ ♪
[electricity crackles]
- Was it expensive?
[all talking at once]
- Hey! Hey!
All right, cool it.
So why can't you girls lay out
on your own roof?
- 'Cause our roof's lame.
- Yeah.
It doesn't get any sun
and it has bugs
and there's a tree above it
with a bunch of squirrels
so it smells like squirrel pee.
- Look, PCA used to be
just for guys only,
and now our roof is
the last place we've got
that's just for us.
- Girls, listen.
The roof is part of
the boys' dorm, so if they
want to keep it private,
I think they have a right to.
- Ha!
Later, losers.
[both scoff]
- Okay,
if we can't go on their roof,
then they can't come in
the girls' lounge anymore.
- Uh, yes, they can.
- Nicole.
- Conversation over.
You're free to go now.
- Why did you do that?
- 'Cause I like
guys hanging out
in the girls' lounge.
That lounge is my ice cream,
and boys are the sprinkles.
- Whatever.
I gotta go see Dustin.
- Okay, I'll come with you.
- He's in the infirmary
with chickenpox.
- Bye.
Have fun.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Knock knock.
- Oh, hey, Zoe.
- So I talked to
your roommate's mom.
Turns out he's already had
the chickenpox.
So you don't have to stay here
in the infirmary anymore.
- Um, thanks,
but I think I should stay
a couple more nights.
- But if you feel okay,
why would you want
to stay in the infirmary?
- I don't know.
I just...
- Hey, Dustin.
- Hey, Shannon.
- Shannon?
- [whispers]
My nurse.
Shannon, this is my sister Zoey.
- Hi.
Thought you might like
a little ice cream.
- You thought right...again.
- Oh, Dustin.
- Well,
I'll leave you two alone.
- Wait.
Before you go,
can you take a picture
of me and Shannon
with your phone?
- Sure.
♪ ♪
Say "pox."
both: Pox!
[phone beeps]
- Okay, I'll check on you
in a few minutes.
Nice to meet you, Zoey.
- Yeah, you too.
So who do you want me to
send this picture to?
- Everyone.
MAN: ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
[lively music]
♪ ♪
- I hate our roof.
I hate it so much.
- It gets, like, no sun.
- Yeah, I think I'm actually
getting whiter.
- And it smells like
squirrel pee.
- See?
I'm not crazy.
- Hey, you know what?
- What?
- Hmm?
- Maybe we ought to prove
to Chase and Logan
that guys can be "just guys"
even when girls are around.
- How are we gonna do that?
- By being around them
when they don't know
we're around.
- But if we're around
trying to prove it,
we'll be around them,
and we're girls.
So they'll be around girls
when we're trying to--
- Maybe you should
let Zoey talk.
- I'm saying,
what if one of us
pretends to be a guy?
- Okay,
four problems with that:
hair, face, boobs.
- That's three problems.
- Two boobs.
- We can get around
those problems.
- It would be
the ultimate acting challenge,
and I am the ultimate actress.
- You really think
you can convince
Chase and Logan
that you're a guy?
- Easy. Chase is gullible
and Logan's a moron.
- Okay, but if
we're gonna do this right,
then we're gonna need
a little inside help.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Lola's gonna pretend
to be a guy?
- Yeah.
- Uh, okay, I can think of
three problems with that.
- Don't worry about those.
Will you help us?
- Uh...make a fool out of
my roommates?
Sure, what'cha want me to do?
- Okay, first, you help us turn
Lola into a believable guy.
You'll be sort of like
our guy consultant.
- Okay.
- And you can't stay in
your room for a couple of days.
- Why not?
- 'Cause we're gonna make Lola
the new temporary roommate.
- And where am I
supposed to sleep?
- You pretend to be sick
and you can sleep
in the infirmary.
- Oh, no.
Uh-uh.
No, I heard about
Nurse Crutcher. Mm-mmm.
- No, they have a new nurse.
Want to see her?
- Okay.
[phone beeps]
- Well?
- Well, I think
I'm coming down with a fever.
Ugh!
[lively music]
[laughter]
- Okay, Lola.
- You ready to become a guy?
- Yup.
Make me a dude.
[laughs]
[pop music]
MAN: ♪ You think you can tell ♪
♪ You think that you know ♪
♪ You think that it's true
if you say so ♪
♪ But figure it out ♪
♪ It's only a game ♪
♪ You're seeing
the same old face ♪
♪ And time with a new name ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Maybe you think
I'm wasting my time ♪
♪ Standing around
in the wrong line ♪
♪ But look in my eyes ♪
♪ I need you to see ♪
♪ Think that
I just might change your mind ♪
♪ If you let me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And how could you tell
if I was to change ♪
♪ Into the same thing ♪
♪ And how would you know ♪
♪ When they always told you ♪
♪ What to be? ♪
♪ Ahh, ahh, ahh ♪
♪ ♪
[clapping]
ZOEY: Whoo!
- Well?
- Unbelievable.
- I could almost date you.
- Come here, baby.
[smooching]
- No, no, no, no, no.
Back off, boy.
- [laughs]
Michael, what'cha think?
- It's good, but I still vote
for the mustache.
- Yeah.
Well, it's time for you
to stop voting and go check into
the infirmary, okay?
- Okay.
But don't you think
this mustache would help
the overall look
of Lola's whole--
- He had to go.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
[Michael coughing]
- Man, you sound awful.
- Uh...what's wrong
with Michael?
- We don't know.
- Dude, you sure
you don't want to stay
in your own bed
at our dorm?
- Yeah.
I think I ought to hang here
for a couple of days.
[coughs]
- All right.
- Where's the nurse?
- Shannon!
- Oh.
[chuckles]
When did she start working
at PCA?
- About a month ago.
Is one of you sick?
- [coughing]
- Yeah.
Michael here.
- [groaning]
I can barely stand up.
Help me.
- Oh, of course.
- So soft.
[coughs]
- Well, I 'd say
you're in good hands.
- Very good hands.
- [groans, coughs]
- Well, feel better, man.
- Oh, I'll try.
[groaning]
- Poor thing.
- Oh...
thank you,
but I'm just glad I have you
to take care of me.
- Oh, I won't be
taking care of you.
- Huh?
What do you mean?
- Shannon's the nurse
for the lower school kids.
[door opens]
- But I was told that--
- Stupid Taco Hut!
I asked for a macho beef
and bean burrito
and they give me all beans!
[dramatic music]
What's wrong with this one?
- He's very sick.
- [laughs nervously]
Actually, I feel much better.
Thank you--
- Lay down.
- No, seriously, I--
- Lay down!
- Aah!
Cheese and rice.
- I love my job.
[chuckles]
Yeah.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
[beeping]
- There.
Your new glasses.
- They won't explode,
will they?
- Probably not.
- So how do they work?
- Well,
this teeny little thing here
on the bridge is
a wireless camera
with a built-in microphone.
And back here on the thingy
that goes around her left ear
is a tiny speaker.
So with the computer,
we can see and hear everything
she sees and hears
and she can hear us via this.
- So what's the plan?
- You go to the guys' dorm
and you show their D.A.
the fake letter
from Dean Rivers,
and then
you'll be roomies
with Chase and Logan.
- Right,
and with Quinn's glasses,
we'll be able to see and hear
everything you do and say.
- And you can hear us.
- So if you ever get stuck,
we'll help you out.
- You have the letter?
- Oh, yeah.
Here.
- Whoa.
It looks so real.
How did you make this?
- Please.
I have a high-end computer
and a color laser printer.
I could make you French money
if you wanted it.
- I would love
to go shopping in Paris.
Oh, let me fantasize.
- All right, Steve.
Think you're ready to fool
Chase and Logan?
- Yeah, you look like a guy,
but can you act like a guy?
- [clears throat]
[spits]
[belches]
- I think she's ready.
- Mm-hmm.
[lively music]
♪ ♪
- 'Sup?
How you doing?
- Display visual image
and...
there.
We're seeing exactly
what Steve is seeing.
- Whoa.
- That's so cool.
- Oh, here.
Talk to her.
- Lola, can you hear me?
- Loud and clear.
And call me Steve.
- Sorry, Steve.
- I love her guy voice.
It's kind of hot.
LOLA: [guy voice]
Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
'Sup, dawg?
[normal voice]
Oh, my God!
That top is so cute.
Where'd you buy this?
I love it!
- Steve, quit acting all girly!
LOLA: Uh...
your shirt rocks.
Late.
♪ ♪
- All right, just get to
the guys' dorm.
She almost blew her cover.
- It was a really cute top.
♪ ♪
[rock music]
- So since Michael's gonna be
in the infirmary
for a couple days,
is it cool if Steve bunks
with you guys?
- Sure.
Why not?
- Cool with me.
- All right.
Thanks, dudes.
- They bought it.
- All right, we're in.
- Yay!
- Perfect.
- Okay,
I'll check you guys later.
♪ ♪
- So, Steve...
Michael's bed's the top bunk
over there, if you want to
set your stuff down.
[door closes]
- Ah. Cool.
♪ ♪
- Blix?
- Sure.
Chuck it.
- Chuck it?
Very guyish.
♪ ♪
- So, where you from?
LOLA: Oh, Chicago.
Yeah.
Go Tigers, whoo!
- Uh...Tigers play in Detroit.
- Huh?
- Chicago's team is the Cubs.
- Uh-oh.
- Whoops.
- Yeah, I know.
I meant the Tigers at...
- The zoo!
- Ahem.
The zoo. Ha!
- The zoo?
- The zoo?
- I, uh...enjoy animals.
♪ ♪
Good Blix.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[lively music]
♪ ♪
[both giggling]
- [stuttering]
Why...
must...
I sit in a tub of ice?
- To bring down your fever.
- B-b-but I don't have a fever.
- Then it's working, ain't it?
- [shivers]
♪ ♪
[cell phone ringing]
♪ ♪
- Yeah?
Hmm?
Oh, man, I totally forgot.
Give us 15 minutes.
Chase, dude, get up.
- Okay,
must you be hurling balls
my way at...
- We're missing
water basketball.
- Ah, I forgot.
- [yawns]
What up?
CHASE: We're missing
water basketball--get up.
LOGAN: Yes,
and Mr. Irresponsible...
- Nicole, they're up!
[knocking]
Quinn, get in here!
CHASE: I'm hurrying.
LOGAN: I do not want to lose
to those guys again.
- Oh, we can't play
water basketball.
- Why can't we?
- Uh, we don't have
a full team.
Michael's sick.
- Oh, yeah.
Hey, Steve, you swim, right?
- Uh-oh.
LOLA: Uh, sure,
but I don't have swim trunks.
- You can borrow
a pair of mine.
- But--
- Come on, we can get changed
by the pool.
- Yeah, let's play some
water ball!
- Look, I really can't.
I have sinus issues and, um...
- What are we gonna do?
- She can't go swimming.
- Why not?
It's gorgeous out.
- What's the matter with you?
She's wearing a full boy
body suit!
- And a wig and makeup!
- You don't have to get
all yelly.
- Don't worry, Lola.
We'll figure something out.
[laughter and chatter]
[upbeat music]
- Hey, guys,
we'll be ready in a sec.
- Come on, let's go
get our swim trunks on.
♪ ♪
- Guys, help me.
I can't swim and
still pretend to be a guy,
if you know what I'm saying.
- Relax.
We've got a plan.
Okay, when Chase comes back,
just tell him--
- Dude, come on.
- [gasps]
[splash]
- [gasps]
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, no!
- Oh, man.
My teeny camera.
- We'll get you
a new teeny camera!
Right now, we got to get Lola
out of swimming.
- Steve.
- I know.
- Ooh!
I have an idea.
- What?
- Meet me at the swimming pool.
I have to go to my dorm room
and get Marvin.
- Marvin?
- [sighs]
Just hurry up and get dressed.
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
What are you doing?
- Feeling your glands.
Oh.
I don't know
what's wrong with you.
I'm gonna have to
take more blood.
[dramatic music]
- Sweet mother molasses.
♪ ♪
- Why not?
- You said you could swim.
- Oh.
Ha...
Did you mean swim like...
in water?
- Come on, you guys are
gonna play or forfeit?
[boys yelling]
- Where's Quinn?
- I don't know.
She said she'd be here.
[all yelling]
- Okay.
We're not gonna forfeit.
Would you just put on your
trunks and get in the pool?
[lively music]
♪ ♪
- Okay, Marvin, do your thing.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[splash]
- Snake!
- Snake!
[all screaming]
- Snake?
- Aah!
[whistle blows]
- Get out of the water!
Everyone!
Get out of the water!
[all screaming]
- Aah!
[Lola gasps]
- Aah!
♪ ♪
- Lola?
- Hi.
- Okay, I am so very confused
right now.
- Somebody start talking.
- Well, we wanted to prove
to you guys
that guys can be guys
even with a girl around.
- And if girls make you
act different,
it's just because
you're being idiots.
- Yeah, it has nothing to do
with biology.
- Yes, it does.
- You hung out with "Steve"
for a whole day
and did you act any different?
- No.
- You treated me
just like a guy.
- Wow.
You people really want to
hang out on our roof, don't you?
- No, we wanted to
prove a point.
- But your roof is really nice.
- And ours is all suckish.
- So?
all: So?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[thud]
- [groans]
- Hey, where are you going?
- Shh!
I'm sneaking out.
♪ ♪
[both screaming]
- What's going on?
- Where do you think
you're going?
- I'm leaving, all right?
I'm outtie, okay?
I'm not sick.
I was just faking
the whole time.
So you tortured me
for nothing, all right?
Now good-bye.
- Wait.
You're scratching.
- So I'm itchy.
- You got the chickenpox.
- What?
- You must have caught them
from Dustin.
- Sorry.
- Wait.
I got the pox?
I don't care.
I am not staying in
this house of hurt.
- Lay down.
- Look--
- Lay down!
- Aah!
[thud]
♪ ♪
- My husband's in prison.
[rock music playing]
- I cannot believe I have
two book reports due on Monday.
- Well, I have
the same two book reports due
and a chemistry test.
- Well, I have to give
a half-hour oral report.
♪ ♪
- Hey, pass the suntan lotion,
would ya?
- Lotion.
♪ ♪
- You see?
Guys, girls hanging out
and no problems.
- Yeah, we'll see.
- Hey, where's Quinn?
- Oh, yeah.
What happened to Quinn?
- [laughing]
Oh, Marvin, you make me laugh.
[laughs]
[Marvin hisses]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
NURSE:
And they give me all beans!
02x07 - Girls Will Be Boys
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Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.
Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.