01x03 - Cluckwork Orange

[bunniefuu]

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- And that kids, is how you milk a bear!

(Bear groans)

- Uh... that's not how I do it.

- Then you're doing it wrong.

Now feel free to patrol the mobile petting zoo.

Go ahead and pet anything you want.

The gator's a real softie, but uh,

be careful with the chicken. He's a bad hombre.

- (Clucks)

All: Awesome. Yesss. Yay!

- (Groans)

Beth: Whoa, someone is not flossing.

- Huh. I've never seen a chicken without alfredo sauce.

Hi there, friend!

- (Angry cluck) - Ow. I said friend.

Ow. Ow. Ow!

Why are you doing this?

I hope I don't get mad chicken disease! Ow.

- Hey, smarten up,

or you're gonna be swimming with the noodles.

- (Clucks) - Oh ya, chicken?!

You wanna dance with the deepfryer?

- Ooh, this cocoon is amazing.

Nice one arachnai friends.

- (Squealing) - Bacon, come back!

- (Gasp) No, no, do not climb into his mouth.

- How else am I supposed to fill this nasty cavity?

Duh...

- Gators aren't sleeping bags.

- Who's a good wolverine? Who's a good wolverine?

- Hey there chicken dude.

- (Clucks)

(Happy cluck)

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♪ La, la, la

♪ La, la, la La, la, la ♪

- I thought so.

You're not bad, you're just misunderstood.

- Wow, check out the chicken whisperer.

- I have a pink pony! Yeeeee-haw!

- Okay kids, say thank you to the nice zookeeper lady

and let's head on inside.

All: Thank you zookeeper lady.

- Animals! Truck! Now!

- Aw, you're so sweet.

Gimme some wing up top, bud.

(High five slap)

Check you later.

(Sad music, and sad clucks)

- Now everybody go wash your hands extra well before lunch

because animals are dirty, dirty creatures.

(Door slams, engine rumbles)

- Now everybody wash up extra well before we leave

because children are dirty, dirty creatures.

- Cody, stop sucking your thumb.

You were just petting a wolverine!

- Halt! You wolverine germs shall not pass!

Ahhhh! (Snarling)

(Hisses, growls)

- (Chuckles) Kids.

- Blahhh. - Ewww!

- Blahnh. - Blahhh.

- Whoa. (Landing thud)

- Lunch. The most second meal of the day.

Oh hey, chicken.

Whoa. Chicken?

What are you doing in there?

- (Clucks) - No. I can't keep you here.

Chef'll see you and flip out.

- (Clucks)

- Hide you using a variety of disguises?

Hmmm. That might work.

Ready when you are, chicken.

Yee-naw.

Too accusatory.

Kind of farmy.

Not spacey enough.

Yes! That's the one!

I should probably go put on my backup clothes.

I never had a dog or a cat or anything,

but I'm ready to be a pet owner

and is there any bond greater than a boy and his chicken?

Nun-uh. I'm gonna take good care of you.

I feel weird calling you chicken,

'cause people eat chicken.

I know, I'll call you, Nugget!

- (Clucks)

- Let's go explore the daycare... "new student"!

Wink!

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- I'm seeing chickens!

My vision book says that means I'm afraid of commitment.

Well, I am not afraid to commit anymore.

Beverly? It's Chef.

No more renting, I'm gonna buy that tuba!

- Ever since that petting zoo,

I've been feeling kinda weird. Almost like...

(Coughs up a hairball)

I don't remember eating all this hair.

- Aw... I'm gonna call him Nestor.

Oh, and you're turning into a werewolf!

- Nah.

- What? Huh?

All right, who's taking my--

Hey! Give that ba-spppffft!

(Splashing)

- (Clucks)

- Whoa-ho. Courtney, lunch goes in your mouth.

- I was making sure none of my food groups

were touching when your chicken did this to me!

- Well, if your lunch had chicken in it

maybe Nugget was trying to rescue it.

- It. Was. Tuna!

You've got a bad chicken, Jude.

Now what am I gonna eat for lunch?

- Take mine. (Splats)

Don't tell Nugget about the egg salad.

(Flames whoosh)

(Sinister music)

- What a city! Hard work,

but Harold town was totally worth it.

Stay back chicken!

N-no! (Resounding booms)

That's-that's city hall!

Not the opera house.

(Stomping)

Noooo! That's the secret ninja headquarters!

(Loud squawk)

Harold: Noooooooooooo! (Echoes)

(Crying)

(Angry growl)

Stop fowl creature!

(Gasps)

(Punching thud) Ow! Ow!

Ahhhh!

(Whimpering)

Where did you train?

- Hey, Harold. You seen-- - Your feathered fiend?

Yes! It just went chickzilla all over Harold town!

- (Snarling)

(Growling)

- I'm sure it was an accident.

- No. He was looking right at me.

That bird is a bully!

Your chicken is bad, Jude. Bad!

(Rock music plays, flames roar)

- (Cluck) - Stay back, vile creature!

- Nugget and I do not appreciate your judgy,

judgemental, judging. C'mon buddy.

♪ The cat chases mice while my grandma makes rice ♪

♪ And they close the school cause there's an outbreak ♪

♪ ...of lice

- Uh, Owen.

Did you just turn into an angry chicken? Haha.

Why am I asking him that in English

when I speak fluent chicken?

(Clucks)

Eeeeeeeeee!

What? How could this have been my fault?!

- Nugget must've thought your skipping rope

was a giant worm and wanted to eat it.

- You can't skip rope with a worm, Jude.

You have to tie several worms together to make it long enough.

Ha. Trust me, I once tried to do that--

- We were skipping rope with a worm? Coooool!

- Your chicken, is... I'm gonna use a bad word here, okay?

Mean!

- Izzy is right,

which is something I never thought I'd say.

- Yep, your bad chicken has to go.

- C'mon guys. Nugget isn't mean or bad, he's just...

misunderstood.

And look how generous Nugget is?

He laid all these eggs.

- She! The females lay the eggs.

- Well, I don't know about that,

but not everyone is against Nugget.

- (Giggles)

- Bridgette, you like Nugget, right?

- (Squawking)

(Nunchucks whoosh) - Ahhh!

- Nuh! Oooh!

Why do you have nunchucks?

Why Nugget?

(Hitting thud, pained grunt) Why?!

Are you okay? It's over now.

Or it's not.

(Eggs whoosh)

- Ahhh! (Splat)

- Now do you see, Jude?

Bridgette just got scrambled.

- (Sighs)

Can someone please tell me what just happened?

- Dudes, I was so wrong.

My chicken is totally whack!

How could something so cute and fluffy be so evil?

- We need to get rid of it before it att*cks again.

- Nugget is my chicken.

I'll do it.

They say if you love something,

you have to set it free.

And if that something is a violent psycho chicken

with anger issues,

then it should be in the wild where it belongs.

Which is where you belong, Nugget.

So be free, my friend!

- (Clucks)

- I know you want to stay with me.

I know, but you can't, Nugget,

you can't.

Now fly! Fly away!

- Um, can chickens fly?

- No. No they can't.

- (Clucks)

- Wow. Nugget sure can fly fast.

He's already in the clouds!

- Actually-- - Probably best to say nothing.

- (Clucks) - Bye, little buddy!

- (Boings!) (Clucks)

♪♪♪

(Nunchucks whoosh)

- (Snarling)

(Skids to a halt)

- (Gulps)

- (Chomp) - (Clucks)

- I'm sorry you had to let your friend go loose, Jude.

- I learned a valuable lesson from all this.

Egg salad makes me- (Farts)

- Ahhh!

(Gagging) Ew!

- The more important lesson is:

you can't keep a violent, wild animal in a daycare!

- You can't?

Hurry, Suzanne! Hide in here.

(Glass shatters) Chef: Ah. No!

(Objects clatter) Bad gator. Shoo!

Ahhh! My tuba!