771 - June 8, 1969

[bunniefuu]

[ ominous music ]

NARRATOR:The great house of Collinwood in the year .

And a child has told his father of a strange discovery

he made in the Old House on the estate.

And so, Barnabas Collins finds himself a suspect again,

forced to answer Edward's questions.

And realizes that if his secret is discovered now,

he will be powerless to help Chris Jennings

and David Collins in the future.

I couldn't convince Edward that a vampire is non-existent.

So, we will have to give him one.

What are you talking about?

Dirk will not live out this night.

After he dies, he will become a vampire.

I will see that Edward discovers him and destroys him.

Then the case will be closed, and my own secret kept safe.

Come, we better go into Dirk and stay with him until the end.

[ dramatic music ]

[ ominous music ]

I don't understand it.

There's no way out of this room.

Oh, Barnabas, I'm frightened.

You mustn't be, we have no time for that.

You know what happened to Dirk, don't you?

I did not expect him dying so soon.

He's dead?

Yes.

That is what I have sentenced him to.

BETH: Barnabas.

Beth, there is much to be done tonight.

His dying is part of my plan.

To know where Dirk was, where he slept.

So that when the day came and the vampire had to be found,

you could lead them to him.

BETH: But how can we find him?

When his first need is satisfied,

he will know a fear of the day.

The terrible sense that the darkness is disappearing

and the light will come.

He will look for some secret dark womb

that will keep him safe.

And we must find that place.

But how?

It will be not far.

But there are so many places he could hide in this estate.

We must try to find him, and get control of him.

Come.

But will you be safe?

He will not touch me,

nor you when you are with me.

But it wouldn't be--

Barnabas.

Oh, Barnabas.

Carl.

Good evening, Mr. Collins.

Well, is it a good evening?

I'm not sure whether it is or not yet.

Oh, what a time I've had.

Oh, Barnabas, you've got to do this for me.

It's the only way out, I swear it is.

Oh, oh, oh, you just can't imagine

what a time I've had sitting on that train,

not sure of what I was going to do or say.

And then I thought, Barnabas.

And it made all the difference, I swear it did.

Carl, what are you talking about?

Oh, I brought you a present.

Yes, I did, yes, yes.

It's fresh from Atlantic City, New Jersey.

The queen of the boardwalk cities.

Saltwater taffy.

Oh, wait 'til you taste it.

Just one chew and you'll think

you're smelling fresh air blowing in from the sea.

It's very good of you to remember me, Carl.

There's something we must do, Mr. Collins.

Yes, it's most urgent.

Oh, no, no, that'll wait for two things.

First open the box

and then I'll tell you what happened to me.

Carl, what Beth and I have to do can't wait.

You see, Dirk has disappeared mysteriously.

Well, if Dirk is gone,

then Judith will just have to find someone else.

Here, no, no, open the box.

- Then I must go. - Yeah.

- COLLINS: Huh? - It's empty.

Empty?

Oh, oh, she must have ate it.

I gave you the wrong one.

Well, you know how women eat when they're nervous.

Wait, but, Barnabas, I have another one right here.

Carl, it's perfectly all right.

Why don't you just go back to Collinwood?

Oh, Barnabas, but I can't.

Not until you tell me

it's all right for her to stay here.

Her?

COLLINS: Yes, well I should speak to you alone about this.

But since you're in such a hurry,

there's no reason Beth can't know.

I mean, she will anyway, everyone will.

But you see, Barnabas, I just thought

that this would never happen to me.

I swear I did.

What would never happen to you?

Well, you know I just thought I would go through life

being one of the Collins brothers,

you know, the unmarried one.

You've gotten married?

Oh, absolutely not.

Why I wouldn't do anything like that

behind my family's back

as if I were ashamed of it or something.

Oh, you don't know Carl Collins.

Or for that matter, p*nsy Faye.

p*nsy Faye?

Yes, you see, she wants a church wedding.

Oh, you know how girls are.

Barnabas, you can be my best man.

Yes, it's settled, you are.

Well, I'd be very happy to Carl,

but can we discuss this tomorrow?

No, Barnabas, we can't, you see, she's waiting.

- Who is? - p*nsy.

Oh, Barnabas, please, you must do this one thing for me.

Just this one thing, please.

Anything, Carl.

You see, I really want to prepare Judith

so that my p*nsy is shown to her best advantage.

Can she stay here?

Of course she can.

Oh, Barnabas, I knew you were my friend.

Oh, oh, just wait 'til you see her and hear her sing.

Oh, she's great.

Shall I go on to Collinwood?

No, I don't want you in the woods alone.

But he may keep you here for hours.

I won't let him.

Ta da, presenting direct from her triumphs

before Her Imperial Majesty, Queen Victoria of England,

that world famous mentalist

and most beguiling songstress, Miss p*nsy Faye.

[ Collins cheering and applauding ]

♪ Oh, I'm gonna dance for you ♪

♪ Gonna dance your cares away ♪

♪ I'll do bounchi-coo ♪

♪ And the tora-boomdi-ay ♪

♪ I'll sing a happy song ♪

♪ And we'll dance the whole night long ♪

♪ When the music begins ♪

♪ I'll give you some spins ♪

♪ I'll even invent a step or two ♪

♪ So on with the show you'll love it I know ♪

♪ Oh, I'm going to dance for you ♪

COLLINS: Bravo, bravo.

Well, I'm delighted that you're here, Miss Faye.

You see, Miss Chavez and I cannot continue

the little chat we were having.

You see, one of our servants is missing.

Oh, p*nsy, I've got it, I have.

What you got, love?

The perfect way to introduce you to Judith.

Oh, honestly, Carl, the way you go on

about that sister of yours.

I am sure she's just as nice as she can be.

Sometimes I think you're afraid of her.

COLLINS: Me?

Oh, oh, oh, no, no.

It's just that I want her to love you as much as I do.

And I think I have the perfect way of doing it.

You'll do your act for her.

Oh, Carl, I've retired.

- A farewell appearance. - p*nsy: Oh, no!

Yes, you're a mentalist, you'll find Dirk for them.

Oh, that's a great idea. Don't you think so, Barnabas?

I don't see any reason to make Miss Faye do our work for us.

I am sure that we will find him after we look for a few places.

Oh, but you find that, she's great.

Do you know that the first time I saw her act,

she even read my mind?

- Oh, Carl. - I mean, you know,

I was sort of embarrassed, I'll admit it,

because anybody could tell what was on my mind.

I can well imagine.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, you go on, I'll just make me-self right at home here.

Oh, please do.

Beth, could you get Miss Faye some coffee?

I'll be back as soon as I can.

I'll drive you to the house, Barnabas.

We'll tell Judith up instead.

BETH: Would you like some coffee?

Don't touch it.

You wouldn't happen to have

a drop of sherry around, would you, hm?

I imagine so.

You don't live here?

No, no, I work up at the big house.

How big is it?

Very big.

Like a castle, he says.

I didn't know whether to believe him or not.

I mean, being in my line,

men tell ya lots of things.

Oh, yes, I'm going to be very happy here, I can tell that.

Cheers.

Barnabas, we simply must find Dirk

and hear exactly what he told Jamison.

It's hard for me to believe that there are monsters

running around on this estate,

but so many strange things have been happening lately.

Well, I'm very anxious to find Dirk myself.

Judith, if you'd only listen to me.

Dirk, you know-- Carl, you know nothing about it.

I know I may not have been here,

but I know how to find him, I have a way.

Well, you tell Judith about your plan.

I think I'll go and investigate the cottage,

he may be there.

Oh, don't take any chances, Barnabas.

Don't worry, Judith.

Carl, you should have offered to go with him.

Judith, I am not going to leave this house

until I explain my plan.

Judith, I know how most people don't take me seriously.

And with good reason.

Oh, Judith, but that's all changed.

I mean, do you know that I haven't played

a practical joke in nearly hours?

Well, I'm certainly glad to hear it, of course.

And the reason is a person.

Carl, you didn't bring somebody back

from Atlantic City, did you?

Somebody terrible, like that tart you met

in Albany last winter?

No, no, Judith, no one like that.

JUDITH: Well, I hope not.

You see, the person I am referring to, she's...

she's a world-famous mentalist.

A mentalist?

Yes, and highly regarded in her profession.

Did you know that Scotland Yard even used her once?

Carl, you're not going to send for any mentalist to find Dirk.

I don't have to send for her, she's already here.

What?

Oh, yes, oh, Judith.

I mean, what I mean to say is...

Well, you see, I was on the train

and then I saw her there, and Judith, she looked

so pale and so wan.

And I sort of suggested that she might come up...

and rest a bit, you know, so to speak.

Where is this person now?

She's at cousin Barnabas'.

Oh, Judith, please just give her the chance.

If you give her the chance, she'll find Dirk for you.

BETH: Did you find Dirk?

No.

Did you search the cottage?

Yes.

Where is that Miss Faye woman?

She's upstairs resting for her performance.

Oh, we shall have to go through that charade.

What if she does have powers?

I think it's hardly likely.

- We can't be sure. - [ knocking ]

Go tell p*nsy that Carl and Judith are here.

You go to the-- you go to the main house,

I'll be over there after.

But we mustn't let Judith question your being here.

[ knocking continues ]

This is too absurd.

I don't know why I ever agreed to it.

Oh, Judith, please just keep an open mind.

Cousin Barnabas, I'm afraid my brother has imposed

an awful imposition on you with this mentalist.

He hasn't at all, Judith.

Ah, there you are, my dear.

I'd like you to meet my sister... J-Judith Collins.

Pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure.

How do you do?

Well, should we begin?

Yes, I think we'd better start.

My sister's very worried about this man.

Did you bring something of his, this fella that's missing?

Yes, yes, well, I did.

I brought a cuff link, I think.

Yes, I did, that will do, won't it?

That'll do.

If you will all please sit.

Carl, if you'll turn on my music, please.

Yes, love, I mean, p*nsy.

I've got to have my music to get in the mood.

I'm sure you do.

Can't concentrate unless I hear my little song.

Hmm, if you'd turn down the lights,

it would make me feel a lot better

and I'd look a lot better. [ laughs ]

That's a joke.

[ music plays ]

p*nsy: Hm, worth about a quid, I'd say.

I--I think we'd better begin, p*nsy.

Oh, yes.

There's someone out there,

and I've got something of his.

A pair of lovely cuff links he needs.

A gentleman by the name of...

Dirk.

Dirk Wilkins.

Where are you, Dirk?

Let me know where I can find you.

Let me know.

Dirk, Dirk.

p*nsy!

This has never happened before, something's wrong.

He is dead.

Dirk Wilkins is dead.

And his m*rder*r is in this room.

[ dramatic music ]

[ moans and pants ]

What do you mean, p*nsy? What do you mean Dirk is dead?

Who k*lled him, p*nsy?

Tell us who k*lled him.

What did I say?

What did I tell you?

You have shown us you have an overactive imagination.

Thank you, Miss Faye.

Now, will you please take me home, Carl.

Judith, you can't leave now.

Young lady, do you think I'm going to stand around here

and listen to all this nonsense?

Judith.

You owe us an apology, all of us.

Judith, you have no right to talk to p*nsy like that.

No right at all,

especially since her and I are going to be married.

- I will go home alone. - Judith.

Of all the impossible things you've ever done.

Judith. Judith, please,

this is no way for us to start. Judith.

You tell me what I did wrong.

BARNABAS: You accused one of us of m*rder.

Oh, that's really scary, isn't it?

I mean, not to remember,

that's not happened to me before.

You have no memory of what you said?

Think, p*nsy.

I can't think.

[ gasps ] I mean, why did Carl leave like that?

Who told you that Dirk was dead?

A voice.

I don't understand it.

Oh, I do wish Carl wouldn't ask me to perform.

I mean, I'd rather sing than do my mental act any time.

I have a lovely trained voice, as you know.

Yes, I know you have.

She didn't like me, did she?

I tell you what, I'll go see what I can do with him.

I should just go up there and show her

I'm not afraid of her.

I'll look after Judith, stay here.

Oh, you certainly mucked up that one, p*nsy girl.

You should just go up to that big house

and tell Carl Collins.

JUDITH: I don't care how you think or feel.

CARL: Judith, don't you understand, I love her.

JUDITH: No, I don't understand your being in love

with a woman like that at all.

CARL: Judith, no matter what you do or say,

I am going to go on loving her, and loving her, and loving her.

JUDITH: I think you're quite mistaken, Carl.

I don't think you know her well enough.

CARL: You never gave this woman a chance.

Barnabas, Dirk isn't in this house.

He isn't, I know.

Come with me.

I think I know a place where he'll have to be.

If we get there in time, we can get there and wait for him.

CARL: An ordinary girl.

JUDITH: Well, that doesn't make it any better

to be a suitable wife for you.

Who's there?

[ gasps ]

[ bat screeches ]

[ screaming ]

BARNABUS: We must find the cover.

BETH: Why are we here?

He has found his secret sleeping place.

Where is he now?

Where?

I feel a responsibility towards this family

whether you do or not.

And that woman is eminently unsuitable.

Now don't look at me like that.

I am far more mature and wiser than you are.

And she will leave this estate tonight,

do you understand that, tonight.

Oh, Judith.

You can go with her if you want to,

that's your privilege.

But don't expect me to give you any more money

or allow you to come back here ever again.

Miss Faye.

Oh, my God.

No!

[ ominous music ]