13x07 - The Ex Files

[bunniefuu]

[Kris] Kendall, do you want, um,
shredded cheddar cheese?

[Kendall] Cheese makes you fat, right?

-[Kris] Yeah.
-[Kendall] No. No cheese.

[Kris] Good attitude.

I wish I had your strength
and determination,

but because my photo's already in the can,
I get to eat the cheese.

What just happened?

[Kendall] I wasn't supposed to eat that.

I just got my teeth whitened,
like, an hour ago.

[Kris] Oh, let me see.

[Kendall] Literally, specifically,
I'm not supposed to have tomatoes.

Are they red?

[Kris] You look beautiful. Looks good.

Do you want to run a clear brush
over them with no toothpaste?

[Kendall] Sure.

[Kris] Kendall, I made that chili myself

with really fresh ingredients,
so it's not like there's preservatives

or artificial coloring in there.

[Kendall] That doesn't matter
if you're not supposed to have tomatoes.

-[Kris] Oh.
-[Kendall] They stain.

A tomato, whether artificially preserved
or not, it stains things.

[Kris] Oh.

-Do you want some baking soda?
-[Kendall] Mm-mm.

-[Kris] You're good?
-[Kendall] Yeah.

-[Kris] Are you sure?
-[Kendall] Yep.

-[Kris] You want some more chili?
-[Kendall] What?

[Kris laughs]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

-[Kim] Yeah, I'll show you around.
-[Scott] Oh, no. I'm sorry.

Prouvé is the chair I'm talking about.
-[Kim] Prouvé.

[Scott] Prouvé makes nice chairs.
Your mom has some. Kourtney, too.

-[phone chimes]
-[Kim] Yeah.

Khloe's, like, "My assistant
just found all my wedding photos.

Do I just shred those?"

-[Scott] Aw.
-[Kim] "Why am I keeping them, right?"

And I'm like, no. Totally keep them.
Make an ex box.

-[Scott] Yeah. An Xbox?
-[Kim] Like an ex box.

Like an ex...

-[Scott] Oh, [bleep].
-[Kim] ...box.

An ex box is not the video game.

It's like a box of everything
with an ex of yours.

You know, you don't want to have,
like a ton of stuff

of your ex-boyfriends around the house,
so you can just make a little box.

Big, small, whatever you want it to be.

You know, it's cute to keep an ex box.
Me and my friends always did.

-Everyone has an ex box.
-[phone rings]

[Scott] I don't have an ex box.

I had a PlayStation in my pants.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

[Kylie] Red would also be kind of cool,
Kendall.

[Kendall] Red, okay,
but people get scared.

You know what I mean?

People aren't taking risks, anymore.

So, like, the more, like, simple
that you go...

[Kylie] Red would be dope, though.

[Kendall] We are sh**ting
for our Kendall + Kylie line today.

And it's super fun.

I always miss sh**ting
with Kylie and working with her, so...

to be able to hang out
with her today is nice.

♪ ♪

[photographer] Great. Yep! Yep!

Let's do this.

[phone rings]

[Kylie] Wow.

About a week ago, Rob asked me

if him and Chyna can move
into one of my old homes.

And I agreed, 'cause me and Chyna kind
of put everything behind us.

And my brother seemed really happy
and I wanted him to enjoy

his new life, and I wasn't here
to block anyone's blessing.

I'm going to go over there
and see what she did to my house.

My mom calls me to keep me informed
on what was going on in my home.

And apparently, Chyna threw something
at my television that I left there.

It's just a little disrespectful.
I wouldn't do that to anyone else's home.

Yeah.

I just feel so bad for Rob,
and I feel like she doesn't like him.

So just, like, coexist, you know?

It's really hard to support a relationship
that's really unhealthy.

Especially, when it's hurting my brother
and now it's affected me.

And I just kind of wish
they could stop this roller coaster ride.

Bye-bye.

[Corey over the phone] Hey.

My mom just told me to call you
'cause I wanted to know what was going on.

Everyone goes through their own drama.

It's not really my business,

but I called Corey to just see
what was going on with my home.

[Corey] If I wouldn't have gotten there,
it would have been really bad.

I just ran out of the house
and ran over there to just get Rob,

make sure he was safe
and didn't do nothing stupid

and make sure he got out of there.

Her hands were [bleep] up.

One of her real, whole nails was gone.

She was trying to bust the car window.

And I sat there with her
and tried to just calm her down.

[Kylie] I just feel so bad for everybody.

[Corey] I'm letting him chill.
I'll work on him later.

-[Kendall] Can you tell me what happened?
-[Kylie] Bye.

She moved out of the house today.

[Kendall] Oh, they're living
in your house?

[Kylie] And it's just really sad
and I don't think it's gonna end well.

I'm just like...

♪ ♪

[Rob] I appreciate
you all going through this.

[indistinct conversation]

-[Kim] I bet Chyna called.
-[Rob] Yeah, she did.

-[Kim] Just to, like, be funny.
-[Corey] Thank you, now.

Thank you, thank you.

[Kim] Why?
Rob and Chyna got into a big fight.

[camera shutter clicking]

Rob started Snapchatting his thoughts
and his feelings,

and that's really not like him.

[Rob] I get home and Chyna
took the baby, took everything

that we built for the nursery
for the baby Dream.

So, yeah. I am not feeling so good.

And... it's crazy here.

[Kim] We're all worried about Rob,
so I brought Corey with me

over to Rob's house,
just to see what was going on.

[Rob] That's crazy.

The police just came, like,
eight of them, or whatever. That's crazy.

Look, do I look drunk in the video
or something?

Like, I don't even drink.

[Corey] No. People can call,
people-- all those things sound...

Like, people that don't know you
might get the idea that you were suicidal.

-[Rob] Oh.
-[Corey] That's what's going to happen...

[Rob] I wanted, I wanted,
I wanted people to know that I'm hurt.

That this is [bleep] up.

The fact that you say, like,
okay in a year--

if he's not getting his [bleep] together
in a year, I'll drop him.

Like, who are you to say,
"I'm gonna drop you"?

And, like, how much do you guys
want to bet?

I'll bet money
that she does not come back to me.

[Corey] I know one thing,
you cannot go back down that lane,

'cause it's gonna be worse.

You got a taste of how bad it could be.

And you already know,
I know you all been through situations.

But it's gonna get way worse. Way worse.

She tried, but she can't do it.

[Kim] I've always been super cool
with her.

I have a different relationship
with her than, like,

you know, what you guys have with Kylie.

And I always hear her out and stuff,
but just seeing the motives

is, like, what's hurtful.

[Rob] But I just-- that's what
I need to know from her in person.

[Kim] She'll never tell you.

I mean, I've always felt like them
as a couple just isn't that healthy.

And I think they know that, too.
It's not, like, some secret.

Rob can be really irrational
and he just has to learn

to really take responsibility for himself
and not blame Chyna.

This just, like, all has to stop.

[Rob] You had a baby with me.

I would expect you to-to be
in love with me.

And you keep saying
we're getting married, and this and that.

You know what I'm saying?
I would expect all that to be real.

I wouldn't expect that to be lies
and fake.

And I wouldn't expect-- I'm believing you.

[Kim] It's so clear what this
relationship is,

and that they're just not meant
to be with each other.

You should be out.

What happened to where you're so insecure
that you think she has the power?

You have the power.

[Rob] I know I do, but it's crazy.

♪ ♪

[Kim] What the [bleep] is that?

Sliced mango.

Ooh, I wonder how long it's been
in that jar.

What do you think Kourtney's code is?

Wait, you know your 20-year
reunion is this year.

You've got to go to your 20-year reunion.

-[Kourtney] Who cares about high school?
-[Kim] Some of your exes will be there.

[Khloe] Like, when you were dating Scott,

did you ever talk to him,
like, about your exes?

[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Kim] I can't believe
you don't keep an ex box.

[Khloe] I could look it up online.

-That's, like, how--
-[Kourtney] But not, like,

your whole wedding photos, you know?

[Kim] Khloe is changing her last name
from Odom to Kardashian.

And Khloe mentioned she wanted
to throw away her wedding photos.

But I really believe that, like,
the people in our lives

that we've chosen to spend time with,
they've all taught us so much.

Why not keep certain things?

[Khloe] I want to see
what's in your box with Scott.

[Kourtney] You want me to open up my legs?

Should I say "hotter" and "colder"?

[Khloe] Sure.

Warmer?
-[Kourtney] Warmer.



[Kourtney] No! No, I'm gonna get it.

-[Khloe] I am, too. Why?
-[Kourtney] No, I'm getting it.

[Kourtney] You don't have to look.
-[Khloe] Where are you going in there?

[Kourtney] I'm getting it.

[Khloe] What do you think's in there?

[Kim] Definitely a prosthetic penis.

-[Khloe] Oh.
-[Kim] Oh!

-[Khloe] Ooh...
-[Kim] Alaia.

[Khloe] A leather box?

[Kim] If you have an ex box,
you'd want it to be an Alaia one.

[Kourtney] "Dear Buford, happy Mom's Day."

-[Khloe] Aw.
-[Kourtney] What is this?

New Orlea... L.A. to New Orleans.

How's that for ya?
-[Khloe] Aw.

[Kourtney] We went to Cabo.

That's a cute kid.

[Kim] He is a cute kid. Was.

[Kourtney] Oh, this is
from a different boyfriend.

Here you go, Khlo.

[Khloe] "Dear Kourt,
my feelings for you go so deep.

You cannot even ponder the thought."

What? "Kourtney, what I'm about
to tell you is a secret."

Oh, my God, I can't wait.
"What I'm about to tell you is a secret."

-[Kourtney] What?
-[Khloe] " You didn't read the letter?

"Since the last time I talked
to you on the phone,

I have trouble eating and sleeping.

There were times
where I'd go out and hook up at a bar."

That was it. What kind of letter is this?

"Kourtney, you and I have a special bond,
and I know you know that.

There is not enough time
or paper in the world

to express to you how much I regret
doing what I've done."

There's definitely not enough time
or paper in the world.

[frantic] "I hope that you can forgive me
one day.

Kourtney, please, we're both so young,
and we have our whole...

lives in front of us.

We all make mistakes. I'm young.
Please, I know, if one day

you ever gave me a second chance,
I would not let you down!"

Honestly, I think this ex box
is just, like, a waste of...

like, if you guys enjoy it,
good for you guys.

I don't know. The best thing
I saw was this letter,

but that's not even from Scott.

[Kim] I'll show you mine,
and see what you think. I'll find it.

-[Kourtney] Well, you have it from TJ?
-[Kim] Yeah.

[Kourtney] Anyone else?

[Kim] I mean, I have, like,
I'm sure, like, Kris Humphries' photos

and stuff somewhere.

[Kourtney] Well, what about
your million boyfriends in between?

[Kim] I don't even know
if I took pictures with half of them.

♪ ♪

[woman] Oh, my God, he's here.

[bodyguard] Move, move.

[speaking indistinctly]

[woman] That's Rob?

♪ ♪

[Rob] Chyna and I go at it over,
like, the most pettiest [bleep] ever.

But then, like, the next day,
it's usually, like, all good.

And I'm very happy with Chyna,
and I feel like I contributed

to this whole misunderstanding
that isn't that serious.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ ♪

-[Chyna] Look at this.
-[woman] Where's my little one?

Where's my little one?

Dream, we love you.
Where's my little one, Dream?

We love you.
We love you. Where's my little one?

[Rob] Chyna does make me very happy.

And my whole thing in life is
having a good household.

I don't want to have a kid with somebody
and then us not be together.

I don't want to have this
on-and-off arguments.

I want us to come together
and be-be very good.

[speaking indistinctly]

And I got to spend time with you
in New York.

-[Chyna] Oh, I'm glad you came.
-[Rob] I know.

♪ ♪

[Kim] Wait a minute, Kylie,
what is on your belly?

-[Kylie] What?
-[Kim] Do you have psoriasis?

[Kylie] No, what?
Oh, this right here. Do I?

[Kim] Get over here.
[gasps] It's psoriasis. Bible.

[Kourtney] You guys are such twins.

-[Kylie] No!
-[Kim] You have psoriasis!

-[Kylie] No!
-[Kim] Welcome to the club!

[Kylie] No! [sobs]

[Kourtney] Did you guys see
that Rob was in New York with Chyna?

[Khloe] Like, it's wild.

[Kourtney] Why does he [bleep] switch
his mind?

-Like, what is wrong with him?
-[Khloe] Because it's her.

[Kourtney] Ugh, I just feel bad
for his mental state.

[Khloe] Apparently Rob and Chyna
are back together,

and that makes me sad for Rob.

I really thought there was
no way in hell that he would forgive her

but also that she would want him back,
from what my understanding is.

Like, the things she was saying and doing

and the names she was calling him,
why do you want him back

if you think those things
of your significant other?

[line ringing]

-[Rob] Yo.
-[Kim] So are you and Chyna back together?

[Rob] Um, yeah, it doesn't... Whatever.

[Khloe] Rob, she texted all your sisters
and said that she's disgusted by you

and she's ready to leave you
since you can't get your [bleep] together.

[Rob] Yeah. Okay.

[Khloe] You're staying in something
so dark and toxic? It's...

[Rob] What am I staying in?
Like, what are you even saying?

[Khloe] Am I crazy?
What-what does that mean?

[Kim] We're just saying we think
that it's a really toxic relationship,

and we would love you
to, like, focus on being a good dad

and focus on, like, yourself

-and maybe not...
-[Rob] Stuff I'm already focusing on.

You guys, like, are speaking
out of your ass.

So stop being stupid.

[Kim] We just want to help him
be in a happy place.

Like, that's all we want for him.

I can't keep on rushing over there
and helping him figure it out

and then he goes right after her
to go be with her.

-[line disconnects]
-Oh.

[Kylie] He's so delusional.

She'll say they're not cool
during a fight and they'll be fighting

and he'll, like, just post,
like, wife emojis on her page.

I'm like, "So you guys are fighting,
but you go..."

He goes to social media
and then he'll like all her pictures

or post emojis on her pics when,
like, she doesn't [bleep] with him.

And for him to say none of it
ever happened

when we were there and we have witnesses

and he told me to my face exactly
what happened is just crazy.

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-[Kylie] That's some weird [bleep].

[Khloe] I think there's this picture
in Rob's head

for a family, and that is a mother
and a father together

with their baby.

It's just hard for him to understand,

like, okay, maybe
that's not what's gonna be your reality.

♪♪

[Khloe] Ooh, I think these are my Yeezys.

[Kim] Hello, hello.
-[Khloe] I guessed right.

My Yeezys. Thank you.

-Ooh, fancy.
-[Kim] What is this cake?

[Khloe] The girls gave me it
'cause I got my passport redone

today and my name change.

[Kim] [gasps] How cute.

[Khloe] My divorce has been, like,
the longest divorce in history, I swear.

But it's final. Yay.

I finally get to change my last name
back to Kardashian

and just, uh, like, move on with my life.

Mmm! The cake is so good.

[Kim] This is my ex box.

-[Khloe] Oh, compared to Kourt's?
-[Kim] yeah.

-[Kim] Oh, prom photos.
-[Khloe] Ooh, let me see.

[Kim] Look at this makeup.

[Khloe] Oh, my God,
how thin your eyebrows are.

[Kim] This is a kid I pulled out

and I said, "I really want my kid
to look like this."

[Khloe] But does Kanye know you have this?

[Kim] I mean, I told him this morning.

-[Khloe] And what'd he say?
-[Kim] He could care less.

These are two petals from the flowers
TJ gave me on our one-month anniversary.

June 21, 1994.

A balloon. Magazine ads.

[Khloe] Oh, my God.

[Kim] Do you wanna see something gross?

This is from one of his uncle's videos.

[Khloe] Why?

[Kim] On a prop someone used.
I don't know.

I don't know what video.

More chocolate from Neverland.

This is the map
of how to get to Neverland.

Confidentiality agreement
from MJJ Productions.

[Khloe] That, to me, is, like,
just hoarding.

[Kim] You mean you don't want
to keep the chicken nugget box

on your first date?

-[Kim gasps]
-[Khloe] Ser...

[Kim] The nine-piece Chicken McNugget,
with some grease left in there--

-you don't keep it?
-[Khloe] Let me ask you--

So, when you're at McDonald's
on your first date,

how, like, how did you sneak
that box away?

[Kim] I don't know.

[Khloe] I think everybody
holds on to memories

and belongings differently.

I'm not someone who really,
like, dwells on a situation

and keeps every last little thing,
unlike some people in my family.

I think maybe 70% of it
is probably burn-worthy.

[Kim] I would never.
That's, like, memories.

-[Khloe] Chicken McNuggets.
-[Kim] Hmm.

♪ ♪

-[Kendall] So I go straight at the light?
-[Kris] Yup, good one.

-[Kendall] I haven't been there in ages.
-[car honks]

[Kris] Whoa, K-Kendall. Geez!

[phone rings loudly]

-[Kendall] Oh.
-[Kris] It's your dad.

-[Kendall] Obnoxious ringtone.
-[Kris] I have to get a new one.

[Kendall] The ringtone's fine,
I have that one too...

-[Kris] Hello?
-[Caitlyn] Hey, it's me.

[Kris] Hey, you. What's going on?

I'm sitting in the car with Kendall.

[Caitlyn] I'm... [static]
...with my Kendall!

-[Kendall] Hi, Dad.
-[Caitlyn] Hi, Kendall.

[Kendall] Hi.

[Caitlyn] The reason I called is,
uh, I had this lady...

-[Kris] Yeah?
-[Caitlyn] ...you know, a new facial--

it's, uh, it's that new mask
that they have.

Anyway, I was thinking maybe
we could, uh, have it over at your place

and I'll meet you over there
and we'll get 'em done.

[Kris] What, she's gonna give us
both a facial?

[Caitlyn] Yeah, you know,
it's just, what the heck, we'll try it.

[Kendall] I think you should do it.

-[Caitlyn] You want to do it?
-[Kendall] Yes.

[Kris] Well, what day?

[Caitlyn] I don't know,
we can figure out the day.

[Kris] My emotions are
definitely a roller coaster when

when it comes to Cait, and I do feel bad,

but I think it's healthier, as a family,
to have a relationship with Cait,

so, for the sake of my kids,
I'm really trying to be a good friend.

[Caitlyn] Don't sound so excited.

[Kris] Okay, it sounds like a lot of fun.
How about that?

[Caitlyn] Okay. All right, I love you.

[Kris] All right, love you too.

-[Caitlyn] Love you, Kendall.
-[Kendall] Love you.

-[Kris] Bye, can't wait.
-[Caitlyn] All right, bye.

-[Kendall] A Costco?
-[Kris] Slow down.

Brand new Costco.

-[Kendall] What?
-[Kris] Look at-- You have no idea.

-[Kendall] Huge.
-[Kris] Yeah.

[car honks]

[Kris] Oh, oh, [bleep].

You know what, I am taking
my life into your hands,

-and this is a very scary feeling.
-[Kendall] I promise you...

♪ ♪

-[Khloe] Hello, hello, hello!
-[Kris] Hello!

[Kylie] Ooh! Better late
than never, right?

-[Kris] Hi.
-[Kim] Mom, if it isn't bad enough

that Kylie is coming for my throne

and we have major beef...
this [bleep] ho over here...

-[Kris] What ho?
-[Kylie] Me.

[Kris] Oh.

[Kylie] Everyone thinks
that I'm coming for Kim's throne,

but we actually have a really funny,
good relationship,

and we talk all day long,
so it's funny that people think that,

and we just... we like to play along.

[Kim] This thot-- that ho over there.

[Kris] Oh, hi.

[Kim] ...decides to try to copy me again.

-[Kris] What'd you do?
-[Kim] She got [bleep] psoriasis.

-[Kylie] Uh-huh.
-[Kim] She has psoriasis.

[Kris] You did not. You have psoriasis?

-[Kylie] Mm-hmm.
-[Kim] On her stomach.

[Kris] I'm so sorry.

[Kylie] Hopefully it's just a rash.

[Kris] I wonder if it's ringworm.

[Kim] All right, should we call Rob back?
He's saying "call me."

[Kris] Oh, dear.

[Kim] Rob and Chyna are about
to start filming the second season

of their show and no one feels
that they can fuel this bad,

unhealthy energy by filming
another season of their show.

Ultimately, everyone just wants
to protect Rob,

so we called a family meeting
to discuss it and figure out,

like, what we can do to help him.

-[Kris] Let's try to have an open mind.
-[line ringing]

-[Rob] Hello?
-[Kim] Hey.

-[Rob] Hey.
-[Kim] So I'm here with everyone.

Like, when we get protective over you,
it's just us saying,

like, "Hey, this is... [bleep] like this
is all happened to all of us before."

[Rob] I've never once said
or judged or even tried to change

the outcome of any
of your guys' relationships.

[Khloe] You have your head so far up
Chyna's ass it's-- you're, like...

[Rob] I definitely do not.
I don't have my head up her ass.

[Khloe] To be honest with you,
I mean, this is such a toxic relationship,

and we all don't think it's a good idea
that they film this show.

-[Rob] No, I'm done, I'm done.
-[call disconnected]

[Khloe] I don't want my brother
just to keep getting taken advantage of.

Does she still communicate
with you if you aren't filming?

To me, doesn't look that way.

[Kris] Do you know what Rob does
all day long?

Call her names
and say she's a lot worse things than...

[Kylie] So why would you want
to put them in a show together?

[Kendall] "A show" should not
be coming out of anyone's mouth,

that's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

The fact that everyone's lives
revolve around a show,

and to make someone happy with a show,
is the most sad, depressing thing...

-[Kourtney] But it's a job.
-[Kim] Well, it's a job.

[Kendall] Get your head together,
get your [bleep] together,

go move out of the state...

-[Kourtney] You're not right.
-[Kendall] I'm 150%, 1,000 right.

[Kourtney] Sometimes a show helps
you do that.

-[Kris] Hey, hey.
-[Corey] Kendall makes sense.

[Kris] The show is what got him
out of bed.

[Kendall] He's depressed.

[Kourtney] But I would say
that the show has made Rob care

way more about what other people
think about him, which is not healthy.

[Kim] I think my brother is trying
to hold on to the show

because it's, like, his way
of holding on to Chyna,

and it's his way to make Chyna happy,
and it's trying to please someone else,

and I think that it's just too much.

♪ ♪

[knocking]

-[Caitlyn] Are you there?
-[Kris] Yeah.

[Caitlyn] Hey. Big day.

After all the years that I stole
makeup from you,

because it was so difficult to get...

I still have bags of it in drawers
that I haven't used in,

probably, ten years.

[Kris] Well, can I tell you a story
just to respond to that?

[Caitlyn] Tell me that story.

[Kris] Is... I would look for my makeup

and I would say,
"My kids stole my makeup!"

-And you let me believe...
-[Caitlyn] I let them take the blame.

[Kris] That's right.

[Caitlyn] Yes, I did.

-[Kris] That's so mean.
-[Caitlyn] So, anyway...

[Kris] Mm-hmm.

-Let's go get a facial. Yeah.
-[Caitlyn] Boy, that's the old spirit.

Because I don't see Caitlyn
that often, it takes me a second to

it takes me a second to digest
and absorb this is the person

I was married to for 23 years.

-[Caitlyn] Can I use your closet?
-[Kris] Sure.

[Caitlyn] Aha! Boy, we're coming around.

[Kris] I'm trying to get used
to the new normal, for me.

[Caitlyn] Remember the old days?
I used to hate to get facials?

[Kris] I remember you used to hate
get your nails done or your hair cut.

-[Caitlyn] I know.
-[Kris] Or take a shower.

-[Caitlyn] Oh, take a show--
-[Lejla] Let me know if you're cold.

-[Kris] Okay. Okay.
-[Lejla] We do have hot towels.

But the cooling helps the inflammation
in your skin.

-[Kris] Mmm!
-[Lejla] So let me know.

-[Kris] This feels good.
-[Caitlyn] It does feel good.

I'm telling you, Kris,
this girl thing's a lot of work.

[Kris] Uh-huh.

[buzzing]

[Kris] What do you do over there
at your house at night?

-[Caitlyn] I sign my name.
-[Kris] What?

[Caitlyn] I sign my name.

[Kris] What are you signing your name on?

-[Caitlyn] The book.
-[Kris] Hmm.

[Caitlyn] Actually, the book is finished.

Guess how many times
I have to sign my name?

-[Kris] I give up.
-[Caitlyn] 10,000 times.

-[Kris] Oh, boy.
-[Caitlyn] But, no, honestly,

I'm at the house most of the time.

[Kris] Well, if you ever get bored,
you can come over here,

and have a glass of wine.

[Caitlyn] Well, thank you
for inviting me over for drinks.

[Kris] Caitlyn's writing a book,
and given the fact

that I didn't-- let's call it--
agree with her version of many things

that happened, I have a little anxiety.

-[Lejla] How's that feel?
-[Kris] That feels good.

[Caitlyn] You know, I'd love
to bring you a copy of the book.

-[Kris] Sounds good.
-[Lejla] Let me show you skin.

-So, ready for makeup.
-[Kris] Wow. That looks so good.

[Caitlyn] Okay, now you can
just concentrate on me.

[Kris] Why don't you put some
of that mask right over her lips?

-She needs it.
-[Caitlyn] Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

[Scott] Punoosh. Where the heck is Taylor?

-[Kourtney] Where's Taylor?
-[Scott] Is he sleeping?

-He's not walking around, is he?
-[Penelope] No.

[Kourtney] So we had a meeting
about Rob and Chyna,

and just, like,
if they should have their show or not.

I mean, we were just saying,
for the well-being of, like, Rob

that we don't really think
that he should have it.

[Scott] It's not the worst thing
for him to get across to the world

what's going on,
and he gets to actually show his side.

I mean, I feel like, ultimately, like,

this is-- like, kind of really
should be Rob's decision. I mean...

[Kourtney] Yeah,
but he's not a rational person.

I personally just don't think
sh**ting season two of Rob & Chyna

is the best decision,

because I don't think
that it would be the best,

like, for them to feel like they have
to see each other all the time, you know,

they have to film this TV show together,
so, I don't think it's a good idea.

-[Scott] Does he want to do it?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Scott] I mean, there's not
a ton he wants to do, so...

[Kourtney] But I think he wants to do it
for the wrong, unhealthy reasons of...

-[Scott] Which are?
[Kourtney] ...thinking it's hanging on

to his relationship when, like, it's not.

[Scott] What?!
You just ate one of those mints?

-[Penelope] Uh-uh.
-[Scott] Open up.

-It's bigger than your mouth.
-[Kourtney laughs]

♪ ♪

[Rob] You don't know all the details,

so you're just hearing her argument,
and that's it.

You don't know the type of
conversations we have and what

we had yesterday,
or what we have after the fact.

She says what she has to say to you
'cause she's in the heat of the moment,

and that's what it is.

Just like I post [bleep] on the Internet
when I'm in the heat of the moment.

-[Kris] Mm-hmm.
-[Robert] She texts all her people

and let 'em know what's going on
in our relationship.

-[Kris] Why can't you two figure out how--
-[Robert] Instead of keeping it private.

[Robert] And we are,
and that's what we are figuring out,

and that's our conversation
we had yesterday.

And that's why we both have a plan
and what we're gonna do moving forward.

I want to be with her.
That's what's gonna happen.

That's what I want to do,
and we're working it out.

We're figuring it out.

She's focusing on herself,
doing what she has to do.

I'm trying to focus on me--

going to the gym every morning
with the dudes from Platinum

at 5:30 in the morning.

So, it goes both ways.
I'm doing my [bleep].

Like, the diamond [bleep],
the clothing [bleep], the sock [bleep]

-[Kris] Mm-hmm.
-[Rob] Just focusing on that stuff.

Doing fun [bleep] with Dream,
and, you know, not being so down

and depressed
and making everything so down.

It's just, like, we're trying to be happy
and do all the happy stuff, fun stuff.

Like, that's it.

Obviously, I love my family--
my mom and my sisters--

but how they feel about Chyna
and the negative things...

I feel like nobody's on the same page,

and I feel like they just take things
the wrong way or think I'm unhappy.

I feel like
it's just a huge misunderstanding.

Her and I are completely fine right now.

[Kris] I love my kids more
than life itself,

and I want them to be happy,
and I want them to make good choices,

but I can't be in the middle all the time.

Sometimes a mom has to step back

and let their kids work things out
themselves.

Yeah.

[Rob sighs]

All right.

♪ ♪

[footsteps]

[Kris] The clitter-clatter of little feet.

[Caitlyn] Little feet.

You know, actually, the last time
I stopped by...

-[Kris] Uh-huh.
-[ringtone playing]

-[Caitlyn] My phone didn't ring.
-[Kris laughs]

[Kris] Caitlyn's over for a glass of wine
and just to chat,

and to drop her book off, and
I think it's a really positive step

in a great direction.

-[Caitlyn] So, how are you doing?
-[Kris] Good.

[Caitlyn] Upstairs in the other room,
I bought that g*n,

and it's sitting up there.

And I live all by myself.
I don't have any security.

-I thought you needed the security.
-[Kris] I asked you... I asked you

the day you left, "Is there anything
you want to take with you?"

[Caitlyn] Yeah, and I said "no.
I'll leave it to you."

[Kris] I said, "You don't want a picture?
A memory? You don't want a candle?

You don't want a candle?
You don't want a glass?"

[Caitlyn] No.

[Kris] We've had these glasses for...

-[Caitlyn] I know.
-[Kris] ...25 years.

-[Caitlyn] I...
-[Kris] And you want a g*n?

[Caitlyn] Actually,
the only problem I have...

with the g*n being...
It's registered in my old name.

I've got to get that changed.
I've got everything changed.

But in some of these states, I think,

if you go through gender confirmation
surgery is the only way you can, uh...

-[Kris] What?
-[Caitlyn] Yeah.

[Kris] Would you have done
that if you already have...?

-[Caitlyn] Know what?
-[Kris] What?

[Caitlyn] Don't even go down this road,
'cause I'm not talking about it.

[Kris] Oh.

[Caitlyn] So, how's everything going
in your life?

[Kris] I wish I didn't work as hard
some days, but it is what it is.

[Caitlyn] Let's be honest.
You absolutely love it.

[Kris] I do, but I wish it was
in moderation some days.

I'm like a fireman.
All I do is put out fires all day long.

-[Kris] That's my job.
-[Caitlyn] That's your job.

[Kris] I'm gonna get one
of those yellow suits and a hose.

[Caitlyn] So, when you want quiet...

-[Kris] Mm-hmm.
-[Caitlyn] ...you come to my house.

-You lie on the couch...
-[Kris] Mm-hmm.

[Caitlyn] ...look at the view and...

[Kris] Will you rub my feet?

-[Caitlyn] And listen to...
-No, I didn't say I would rub your feet,

but... and you can just lay there
and clear your mind. Yeah.

[Kris] Well, anytime you want action,
you can just come here...

[Caitlyn laughs]

...and it's chaos 24/7.

[Caitlyn] Those were the old days, okay?

[Kris] Oh, my God.

You know what I was gonna tell you?

I always wondered why you peed
sitting down.

[Caitlyn] When you're struggling
with your identity,

there's little things that you can do.

It just makes you feel better
about yourself, yeah.

[Kris] I always wondered about that.

[Caitlyn] Yeah, plus, it's messier.

[Kris] It's kind of... perfect.

Because you never have to yell at you
for not putting the seat down.

[Caitlyn] Well, thank you.

[Kris] Yeah.

♪ ♪

-[Kourtney] Hey.
-[Kim] Hey.

[Kourtney] Which thing do you like better?

I mean, you could post that, or that.

-[Kim] That.
-[Kourtney] Yeah, I think that, too.

-Glasses post?
[Kim] Is that the robe from my wedding?

-[Kourtney] Yeah.
-[Kim] That's so cute.

[phone chimes]

Wait. Did you get this e-mail from Rob?

It says, "Don't want to fight.

I wanted to take a minute
to write you all and let you know

how I am feeling after the drama.

I'm grateful to have a family
with such a strong support system.

I really am.

I'm trying to work on myself
and trying to grow and change,

and I'm looking to be the man
that you all are proud of.

Part of it is working
through my issues with Chyna.

I love Chyna, and I want
to be able to tell my daughter

that I did everything I could
to make it work with her mother.

Most of my confidence comes
from me having the show every day.

I want a second season of Rob & Chyna.

I want to use this show to make
myself stronger."

I get it, that Rob thinks
that the show is helping him find himself.

But I think that if there's no
show, there's no relationship.

[Kourtney] The one good thing,
I think, about having a show is,

like, maybe he can do something
constructive from it,

which he didn't do last season.

Maybe there needs to be, like,
boundaries if he does it.

Like, if you don't go to therapy
once a week, you're done filming.

[Kim] I mean, I just want Rob
to, like, see our side

and just, like, understand it
from our point of view.

[Kourtney] I just think no need to start
having little e-mails here and there.

It's just better to have
one big conversation.

[Kim] For sure.

[Kourtney] It does mean a lot
that Rob is reaching out

and being the bigger person.

It shows me that he wants to change.

So I think we do owe it to Rob
to sit down face-to-face.

[Kim] All right, so we're gonna talk
to him on Sunday.

[Kourtney] Yeah. Looking forward
to another fun conversation all together.

[Kim] It's gonna be a tough one.

♪ ♪

[knocking]

[Kris] Hi, P. Hi, guys.

-[Kim] Hey, Mom.
-[Kris] Hi. How are you?

-[Kim] Busy with e-mails.
-[Kris] Yeah.

[Kim] Did Cait bring the book over?

[Kris] I read it.

And, basically, the only nice thing
she had to say

was that I was great socially
at a party one time.

Like, who cares...

[Kim] But yet he stayed married
to you the longest.

So it doesn't make sense.

[Kris] None of it made sense.
Everything she says is all made-up.

Why does everything have to be
that Kris is such a bitch [bleep]?

I was curious and said,
"What the hell is going on?"

She said,
"You just would never understand."

And then, all through the book,
"Kris knew."

"Kris knew before I even made love
to her."

I'm like,

"What?" [Kim] My mom's been putting
in so much effort,

trying so hard to have a good relationship
for their kids together.

Caitlyn has every right to feel
however she feels,

but why bring my mom into it
one more time?

I just feel so bad for my mom.

[Kris] I really tried hard
to improve the relationship

and spend a little bit of time
thinking maybe there's something here

here that I'm not seeing.

I've done nothing but open up
my home and my heart to a person

who doesn't give a [bleep].

So I'm done.

I'm not gonna be used as a person
who benefits someone else's life

just to make them look better.

I just can't sit back
and be an enabler anymore.

I've never been so angry

and disappointed in somebody
in my whole life.

I'm done.

Done. Dunzo.

Sorry.

♪ ♪

-[Rob] Kim.
-[Kim] Hey.

Roberto.

[Kim and Rob chuckle]

[Kourtney] Robbie.

[Kim] We were all supposed
to be here as a family and talk to Rob,

but my mom is still
really upset about Caitlyn.

So Khloe's with her.

And we just kind of, like, split up.

With our family, when it rains, it pours.

What's going on with you and Chyna?

[Rob] I don't know.
Like, right now, we're good.

One day, we're fighting,
one day, we're not.

I don't mind that when everything's good.

I don't plan on having...

[Kim] But it's not good all the time.

You don't know. It's so unpredictable.

[Rob] It's never been anything
that's made me, like,

want to give up on her.
We just had a baby, so...

I just envision being with the person
that I had the baby with, and...

[Kourtney] But it is also a new part
to your relationship.

So while people think it's this,
like, fairy tale time,

you're also figuring out, like,
what life is like in your relationship

with another person now involved.

[Kim] I think because there is
so much going on, like,

to do a show... like, Khloe and Lamar
were like, "To do a show is not it for us.

Like, we got to just work through this
and figure it out on our own

on our own instead of having
to put so much drama out there."

Because you do have to.

[Kourtney] Also, you're then allowing
all these millions of people

into your relationship
and to be able to comment, and tweet you

and leave Instagram comments,
like, about your situation.

It's just, like, you have to be
a really strong person to deal with that.

[Rob] No, I agree.
But that is something I want.

I haven't even, like, figured
my life fully out yet,

and I feel like that's an opportunity
that I could try and figure something out.

[Kim] Yeah, but what about
working on, like, yourself,

like, just trying to figure out
what works for you?

[Rob] I was doing good
when we were filming, honestly.

Things were great this year.
Then, uh, the end of the year,

just, like, things ended on
a whatever note.

We're both working on ourselves.

I have a lot of [bleep]
I got to figure out,

um, regardless of her or anybody, period.

And, trust me, you all have been
through situations that...

you could look back and be like,
"Oh, we're [bleep] crazy."

It could be the same situation
that I'm going through.

You can't, like, tell somebody
how to live their life.

They just have to experience it themself.

[Kim] I really feel like Rob
is taking in what we've been telling him

and that he's just really taking the steps
to better his life.

I just feel bad that we've been,
like, fighting so much

just about you and your relationship.

And, like, I feel like we just need
to, like, step back.

Obviously, we're here if you ever need us,

but, like, we don't want to, like,
just be involved in your relationship.

[Kim] So, I mean, ultimately,
this is, like, up to you.

[Rob] I definitely do love her
and want to be with her.

And so I'm not gonna just give up.

[Kim] Coming up next week...

[Kourtney] Are you excited
to get back out?

[Kim] Am I gonna be nervous
the whole time in Dubai?

Yes. It's not like I'm doing baby steps.

It is an international trip.

-[Caitlyn] Kylie?
-[Kendall] I thought she was with you.

She's just obsessing over Kylie
and ruining the time we spend together.

-[man] Scott Disick!
-[Kourtney] Scott is still drunk.

[Khloe] Scott relapsed?

[Kourtney] Should we go bang down
the bathroom door

and see what [bleep] whore is in there?

What the [bleep] are you doing here?