01x13 - Dennis Haunts a House

[bunniefuu]

-Oh, sorry, Dad.
Aren't you going to work today?

-Yeah, but I may
have to take the bus.

Hello?

Hello, Pete's Garage?

This is Henry Mitchell.

What did you find
out about my car?

A yo-yo?

In my what?

[theme music ]

-All right.

This meeting is
now going to start.

-OK.

Don't slop the water
around, Stewart.

-I won't.

-Who wants to say
something at the meeting?

-Uh, I guess I don't.

-Me neither.

-Somebody's got
to say something,

on account of I already
banged this thing.

-Yeah.

But I can't think of
nothing to talk about.

-Me neither.

-Why don't you make up a rule
about the club or something?

-All right.

I make it a rule that you
shouldn't slop water around

in the clubhouse.

-Is that OK with you, Stewart?

-Sure.

-This meeting is all over.

HENRY MITCHELL (OFFSCREEN):
Come on in, Mr. Wilson.

-Somebody's coming.

-Well, we're lucky the coffee
pot is still plugged in.

-Oh.

-Would you take those things?

-Surely.

I really shouldn't
impose like this,

but you've only to
say coffee once to me.

-Sit down.

-All right, thank you.

There we are.

Well, I guess that Alice and
Martha will be home any minute

now.

Although why they went in the
first place, I'll never know.

-The reason women go
to tea is something

I'm sure no man will
ever understand.

-Martha dragged me to
one of her teas, once.

You should have seen the
size of the sandwiches.

They were absolutely
microscopic.

-It isn't only the
size, it's the color.

Have you ever seen
purple cream cheese?

-Or lavender mayonnaise?

-What's the matter, Mr. Wilson?

-I don't know.

I'm afraid to look.

-All right, boys, out.

All of you.

Dennis, wait a minute.

Would you care to explain
what's going on here?

-Well, me and Tommy and Stewart
were having a club meeting,

and you and Mr. Wilson
came in, and I accidentally

poured water on
Mr. Wilson's shoe.

And, uh, I guess that's
about all for right now.

-You meant to tell
me you poured water

all over Mr. Wilson's shoe?

-I didn't mean to tell you, Dad.

You asked.

-Oh, it's all right, Mitchell.

The shoes are old, anyway.

-You see, Mr. Mitchell.

It's all right because
they're old shoes.

-Mr. Wilson probably
has real old feet.

-Dennis, what do you
say to Mr. Wilson?

-I'm awfully sorry you got
soggy feet, Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis, the kitchen is
no place for a clubhouse.

You're going to have
to find someplace else.

-Gee, where, Dad?

-I don't know.

-You got a place we
can use, Mr. Wilson?

-Well, now, I'd just
love to have you, boys.

Only, um, I have
to keep my garage

locked because of the tools.

The greenhouse?

No, that's full of seedlings.

I'm afraid there's just
nothing I can think of, boys.

-Yeah, well, come on, guys.

-Oh, there you are.

-Hi, girls.

Well, have an exciting tea?

-He's going to whistle
a different tune when

he hears what Madame Tina
had to say, isn't he, Alice?

-He certainly is.

She's simply fabulous.

-Who's Madame Tina?

-She's a real,
authentic mudya gypsy.

Now you take that look
off your face, George.

And she's told us things that
you simply wouldn't believe.

-Oh, I can just imagine.

-I'll make some fresh coffee.

-No fair, Dennis.

When it lands on a cr*ck,
I get to kick them.

-Hey, look at that secret
door in Mr. Wilson's house.

-Boy, look.

-Boy, this is neat.

-It's like a whole giant cave.

-What's this thing for?

-Hey.

We got some of those
under our house.

My Dad says they go
to all the rooms.

-Boy, that sure would be a
swell place to hide stuff in.

-Hey, under here could
be our clubhouse.

-Yeah.

-We mustn't tell
anybody because it's

going to be our
secret clubhouse.

And I'll get a box, and
we can make a table,

and I'll get my dad's hammer.

-And I can get a flashlight.

And some comic books.

And Stewart can bring
a whole bunch of stuff

because his dad has
a real junky garage.

-Boy, I'll say.

-What else did she predict.

-She said that we're going
to come into some money,

and that we're going
to cross water.

-There's a creek between
here and town, so she's safe.

Practically everybody
crosses water every day.

What else?

-We're going to take a trip.

-Well, down to the corner
to pay the light bill.

What else?

-What would you
say if I told you

she said you're going to hear
from Daniel Wilson very soon.

-Well, I'd say that
was quite a trick.

Daniel Wilson d*ed during
an Indian uprising in .

Probably of a snakebite.

-Well, did she mention
Daniel Wilson by name?

-Yes, in a way.

When she said you were going
to hear from an ancestor,

I said, "Daniel Wilson?"

And she said yes.

-Martha, don't you see?

You told her before
she told you.

I'd like to see some
crazy gypsy tell me

a pack of malarkey like that.

-Well, maybe it
could be arranged.

-Maybe what could be arranged?

-Maybe she would come
over and give you

a personal reading, George.

-Well, don't leave me out.

-All right, Martha.

I tell you what you do.

You have this lady witch
of yours over to our place

tomorrow.

And all four of us will
have a jolly little session

with our ancestors.

And maybe a few banshees
and leprechauns to boot.

-Hey, look what Stewart's got.

An old honker.

-And look at this
old clock I found.

It works, and everything.

And when it goes off, it sounds
like a real neat rattlesnake

on account of the bell's busted.

-This must be a new kind.

All the ones we got at our
house you gotta plug in.

-A jack.

Still another jack.

Clearly, someone is
trying to reach you.

He reaches out from the past.

He calls, he calls.

-I hope he doesn't
reverse the charges.

-Let's hang this flag up from
your sister's high school.

-You see, he calls again.

And again.

-He's been calling
for quite a while.

Maybe I better call him.

[knocking sound ]

-Wearing tap shoes, Madame Tina?

-Well, I assure you, I--

-Let me try.

-Give me another nail, Stewart.

-Maybe it has to be Mr. Wilson.

After all, Daniel
is his relative.

-Alice, for goodness' sake.

-No, she's probably
right, Mitchell.

I'm the one with the wavelength.

[knocking sound ]

-This would be all
for the present.

-But Madame Tina, we were just
beginning to make contact.

-I just remembered I
have another appointment.

I'm late, now.
Goodbye.

Goodbye.

-Well, that's the
end of Daniel Wilson.

-Why don't you
try again, George?

-What for?

She's gone, she can't cap back.

-Oh, go on, Mr.
Wilson, humor them.

-Huh?
Oh, for heaven sakes.

[knocking sound ]

-How do you explain that?

-It's nothing but a--

-A woodpecker on the roof.

-Or air in the pipes.

[rattling sound ]

-Martha.

Martha.

That sound.

Listen.

[rattling stops ]

-What sound?

-Stopped, now.

It was kind of a rustling sound.

Didn't you hear it?

-I think so.

Did you set the buzzer
on the stove for :

in the morning for some reason?

-That buzzer hasn't
worked in months.

George.

What if Daniel is
trying to reach you?

-Great Scott.

Oh, go back to sleep, Martha.

-Gee, Dad.

I hope Tommy hurries up
with his clarinet lesson.

Because we got a
real neat clubhouse.

-Oh, that's fine, son.

It's got a trap
door and everything.

-Good, son.

Where is it?

-Gee, Dad, if I told you, it
wouldn't be a secret clubhouse

any more.

Hey, Mom?

Could you make us some
peanut butter and banana

and mayonnaise sandwiches to
take over to our clubhouse?

-Well, yes, Dennis, but suppose
we make them peanut butter

only, no bananas.

-OK.

Well, anyway, can Tommy
stay over night with me?

-I suppose so.

-Gee, thanks, Mom.
-OK.

-I'll call him up and tell him.

-And you said Madame Tina
couldn't predict the future.

-Why, it's a tax refund
from the government.

-Well, she said we'd
come into money.

-Well, darling, $ .
is hardly a fortune.

-Well, she didn't
mention a fortune,

all she mentioned was money.

And there it is.

-You see, George, Madame
Tina predicted illness.

-Of course she did.

But this from your sister.

Edna has bursitis
every hour on the hour.

-No, it's not
bursitis this time.

It's a slipped disc.

Edna wants me to come up
for a few days to help out.

I think I'll take the : .

-All right.

Where are you going, now?

-I want to take Edna a present.

-When you step over the hose out
front, don't come back in here

and tell me you've
crossed water.

-Why don't you take a nap.

You did a lot of tossing
and turning last night.

-Well, anybody who's awakened
at : in the morning

has trouble getting
back to sleep.

-I didn't.

[hooting noise ]

-Hoo.

-Boy, taking clarinet
is sure dumb.

-I never even heard a clarinet.

-It's nothing.

Alls you do is play a bunch
of scales for a while.

And then your teacher tells
you how terrible it is.

-Can I try it?

-Well, I guess so, if
you don't wreck it.

[horn honks ]

-Boy.

This sure would be a
swell horn for my scooter.

[horn honks ]

-What you got?

-A record player.

-Where'd you get it, Stewart?

-From my sister.

-Did she say we can have it?

-Sure.

I'll tell her later.

All right, I'll
start a club meeting,

and you better make a rule
we turn on the record player.

-OK.

-You wind the official
clock, Stewart.

All right, this meeting
is now going to start.

[clock alarm rattling ]

-This one any good, Stewart?

-I can't read.

-What does it say, Dennis?

-I don't know.

It's got some print on it,
and all I can read is writing.

[ COWBOY AND INDIAN GUNFIGHT

COWBOY (RECORDED):
Over here, Daniel!

Look out, Daniel!

-Daniel.

COWBOY (RECORDED): Are
you all right, Daniel?

Daniel, say something.

Don't die.

Don't die!

-You know, Mitchell, I do
have an active imagination.

But I was just certain
I was wide awake

when I heard that voice.

-Well, was it clear
and distinct, like

I'm talking to you now?

-No.

It was sort of echo-y.

-You see, psychiatrists
say that sometimes a dream

can be so vivid that it can
last several seconds after you

think you're wide awake.

-Why, of course.

I'll bet that's
exactly what it was.

-More coffee?

-Yes, I'd love it.

-Oh, hello, Mr. Wilson.

-Hi, Alice.

-Did Henry tell you about Madame
Tina's prediction coming true?

-Prediction?

-We got a $ . tax refund
from the government.

-Well, Madame Tina predicted
we'd come into money,

and $ . is money.

I hear you're going to be
alone tonight, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, uh--

-And that's another thing
she said that came true.

Mrs. Wilson phoned
me this morning

and said that her
sister is quite ill,

and it's not bursitis.

So she's leaving tonight
to take care of her.

-You know, I've been
thinking it over,

and I think I will
go with Martha.

Edna has that slipped
disc in her back,

and, well, you know
how much that hurts.

-Would you like us to
feed Fremont for you?

-Fre-- oh, yes, would you mind?

-Of course not.

-Here's the key
to the side door.

It's really very kind of you.

Thank you.

Well, I guess I
better get packing.

Goodbye.

-Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.

-Here you are, driver.

-It's nice if you to want
to come with me, dear.

But Edna hasn't room
to keep us both.

-Well, no, but I
could stay in a hotel.

-Well, how could you help
Edna if you stay in hotel?

-Well--

-Besides, I think you
ought to stay here.

The new couch is
coming tomorrow,

and somebody ought to be
here when it's delivered.

And another thing.

I want you to get a
good night's sleep.

You've been looking a
little bit peaked, lately.

-Goodbye, Martha.

-Goodbye, dear.

-Say hello to Edna for me.

-Dennis, I've warned
you about this before.

Now, where is my briefcase?

Well, I want you to go over to
your clubhouse, wherever it is,

and bring it back this minute.

-Oh, honey, does it
have to be right now?

The boys really ought
to be going to bed.

-All right, but that
briefcase is important to me.

It's full of business
papers, and I want it

here in the house first
thing in the morning.

-OK, Dad.

Jeepers, I'm awfully sorry.

Good night.

-Good night, dear.

Good night, Tommy.

-Good night.

-Good night, boys.

-Hey, quit kicking.

-Can't you sure
never go to sleep?

-Uh-uh.

I wanna stay awake
all night so I

can get my dad's little suitcase
first thing in the morning.

-Does your dad get mad
like that very often?

-Uh-uh.

Only when he gets
mad about something.

You'd better wake me
up if I go to sleep.

-Suppose I go to sleep.

-Yeah.

Well, maybe we'd better
go get it right now.

-Will your folks wake up?
-Uh-uh.

I've got a secret
way of getting out.

[lantern falling ]

-Honey.

Honey.
-Hmm?

-Did you hear that noise?

-What noise?

-A thumping.

-I didn't hear anything.

-Henry, did you
ever feed Fremont?

-Oh my gosh.
I forgot all about it.

We got watching television and
it completely slipped my mind.

-(Reading) "Wesley looked
into the hall and discovered

the cause of the strange sound.

It was Roger's head rolling
slowly down the stairs."

Ahh-- Oh.

-Fremont, this is no
time to be clever.

-Fremont.

[whistles ]

[whistles ]

-Hey, look.

[knocking ]

-Hey, I'd better take this home.

-Hey, I never did
get to try it, Tommy.

-Yeah?
Well, you might wreck it.

-No I won't.

Honest.

[honking horn ]

[clarinet playing ]

[dog howling ]

[clarinet continues ]

-Boy, that was louder
than I thought.

-Hope we didn't wake
up my mom and dad.

-We'd better get back.

-I think I'll put
this on my scooter.

-Fremont.

Sic em!

No, Fremont.

-D-- D-- Daniel?

-Mr. Wilson!

-Daniel-- Mitchell?

-I thought you were gone, so
I came over to feed Fremont.

-Oh, why, no.

I decided not to go.

I--

-Calm down, Mr. Wilson.

You'll be comfortable here.
-I will?

-I still say I'm the one who
made the noises you heard.

-Well, maybe.

But-- who made the
sounds you heard?

-Well, let me think.

There was that honking noise.

Isn't it possible that a goose
flew into your attic, somehow?

-Of course, Mitchell.

That's what it was.

-It's the wrong time of year.

-Henry.

Guess where I just
found these two boys.

-Tell me, honey.

It's a little late
for guessing games.

-They were climbing in
Dennis's bedroom window.

-Gee, I'm sorry, Dad.

You said you wanted
this little suitcase

first thing the morning.

And all we did is get it
as firsted as we could.

-Thank you, Dennis.

-But Henry, they climbed
out of the window.

-Calm down, honey.

-Why, Mr. Wilson,
I thought you are

visiting Mrs. Wilson's sister.

-Well, I wish I-- no,
I decided to stay home.

-We sort of bumped
into each other

when I went over
to feed Fremont.

-Gee, were you home
tonight, Mr. Wilson?

-Was I.

-Henry, the boys
have to be punished.

Climbing out of a window--

[horn honks ]

-If one more thing happens
to me tonight, I'll--

[horn honks ]

-Mitchell, that's the sound.

-It is, isn't it?

Dennis, were you and Tommy over
at Mr. Wilson's house tonight?

-Well, no, Dad.

We were under it.

-Why, you scared the
daylights out of-- Fremont.

-I may be dense, but
I don't understand

one word of what's
going around here.

-I'll explain it all to
you in the morning, honey.

Why don't you run on up to bed.

-What about the boys?

We'll take care of the boys.

Now, go run along.

-All right.

Good night.
-Good night, sweetie.

-Good night, Alice.

-Well, Mr. Wilson.

What are we going to
do with these two boys?

-You know, I think I've got some
ice cream over in my freezer.

I'll go get it.

-Gee.

Did we do something
good, Mr. Wilson?

-Let's just say you discouraged
a distant relative of mine

from making a frightening visit.