11x20 - Windows Of Opportunity

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat, Why does

♪ a love kiss

♪ stay in my memory? ♪

SONG: 'When My Baby Smiles at Me'

Shall I wait for Mrs Protheroe, Mr Salter?

Not tonight, David.

Not tonight.

Now, watch where you're... That's it.

Quite steep, that.

♪ There's such a wonderful light in her eyes

♪ The kind of light

♪ That means just love... ♪

Oh, thank you for a lovely evening.

My pleasure, Rosie.

Argh!

Rose!

Rosie!

Rosie!

Why don't you sit down, Mr Salter?

Never mind sitting down!

Blaketon would have had blokes lined up for this by now.

- How is she? - Still unconscious,

but I've seen the X-rays, there's no problem.

She's in safe hands. - Can I see her?

No, but the sister said you can wait in her office.

The nurse'll take you through. - This way.

- Checked there's nothing missing? - Nothing.

Us coming home must have scared them off.

- And you didn't see him. - No...I hadn't put the light on.

It was the end of a romantic evening.

All of a sudden, there he was. - Was he just trying his luck?

Or do you have things of value in the house?

Ah.

That should be in the bank, Mr Salter.

Don't trust 'em.

Wasn't that what he was after?

Aye, well, didn't get it, did he?

So, David,

who are you going to vote for as our parish representative?

Oscar Blaketon or Joyce Jowett?

Seeing as Mr Vernon's not here to advise me,

I thought I'd vote for both of them, so I don't offend anyone.

I can advise you. Only one can represent us on the Council.

Let's make it Blaketon.

You're still upset, aren't you, Mr Scripps?

Upset? I'm livid.

CAR HORN

He's livid, Mr Bellamy.

Aye, well, you would be, wouldn't you,

with public facilities on your doorstep?

Let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

Toilets. Right outside my garage if Jowett has her way.

Cornerstone of her campaign

it says in the paper. - Bernie.

David.

He's really angry.

Oh, aye? How can you tell?

Er, it doesn't matter. When you dropped Mrs Protheroe off

did you notice anything out of the ordinary?

I've been racking my brains but there's nothing there.

I was thinking of something

like a car parked nearby. Strangers inside maybe?

Oh, right.

No. - Right.

Harvey Cottrell, the answer's no.

You jumped the g*n there, Mrs Stanton.

That cabinet we talked about last year...

- That you offered me two quid for? - I didn't know what it was.

And I do now, and I think it's worth serious money.

You'd better come in.

It must have been someone else. It's not Dutch, it's English.

What do you say to three quid. - Out!

Is this a game? You just asked me in.

You wangled your way in.

Stop scanning the room, nothing's for sale.

A tenner - the table, chairs and cabinet.

You'll not get a better offer. - I'll not be asking for one.

So you're flush? A woman on her own,

scratching a living from hens and a couple of sheep?

My husband left me well provided for. Hands off!

Worth a few bob that.

Melted down.

I'll be back, Mrs Stanton. Sooner or later,

everyone does a deal with Harvey Cottrell.

Nice sofa. - Out!

- Fiver? - Out!

Ladies, my village plan is meant for you,

the guardians of future generations.

TANNOY WHINES

OSCAR: 'Ladies and gentlemen!'

...draughty doorways. Is it fair ...

'Your chance...'

...denied a state-of-the-art climbing frame?

'Oscar Blaketon!'

Slow right down.

Is it fair that between home and school there's no toilet?

TANNOY WHINES

Been going behind the hedge for , years.

Why suddenly make it parish business?

'The man for the job.'

There you have it, ladies,

Blaketon, custodian of the past... - Bernie, this mic is rubbish!

...or Joyce Jowett...

- Help! - ...vanguard of the future.

SONG: 'When I'm Cleaning Windows'

♪ Now I go cleanin' windows

♪ To earn an honest bob

♪ For a nosy parker it's an interesting job

♪ Now it's a job that just suits me

♪ A window cleaner you would be

♪ If you can see what I can see

♪ When I'm cleanin' windows...

Morning, Mr Blaketon.

What job's that, then?

- You old enough to vote, Reggie? - Yeah.

Then you should know who to vote for.

♪ When I'm cleanin' windows ♪

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police.

It's John Salter.

'He's been back again. Done me over.'

- Assaulted you? - 'No.'

Nicked a mirror.

Right, well, we'll be up there as soon as we can.

John Salter... He's had a mirror nicked.

How long were you out, Mr Salter?

Two hours at the most.

Any idea how they got in?

Window in the pantry.

In Blaketon's day, this wouldn't have happened.

Blaketon had his finger on the pulse.

The mirror, is that all that's gone?

What do you mean, all? It didn't look anything special

but it's been in the family for years.

What I meant was...

Safe and sound, thank you.

Well, at least Mrs Jowett's got some policies.

So have I - to do nothing.

Maintain the status quo.

That's right, Bernie, status quo. That's what people want.

That's what they'll get from me. There's too much progress.

That's two-and-six, please, Gina. What's going on?

Affairs of state, Reggie. Shall we have toilets in the high street?

So long as they've got windows to clean!

Ta-ra.

Canvassing tonight, Oscar?

Persuading them is one thing, Bernie,

getting them to vote, that's another.

We could always fetch them in a taxi.

If you're going to make suggestions...

Actually, that's a very good idea.

What brings you to the frozen north, gentlemen?

Ah, democracy, Mrs Stanton.

Oscar Blaketon...

The Man For The Job.

Oh, aye, this election.

I might just pop down if the weather holds.

The weather doesn't matter.

I can fetch you and bring you back afterwards.

Ah. So long as I vote Blaketon, I suppose.

After that I can go whistle.

Not at all, Mrs Stanton.

I'd be happy to put in any requests you have to the Council.

Oh, right! Well...

I'd like someone flogged to within an inch of their life.

Er...who?

Whoever pinched my Greek fella.

There he was, striking a manly pose,

within the bounds of decency, of course.

I came down this morning and he'd gone.

Have you reported this? I've no phone.

They don't respond to smoke signals at Ashfordly Police Station.

We could get one of the officers to call in and take some details.

Mm. So long as I vote Blaketon.

The Man For The Job.

Well, you seem to be a lady who knows her own mind.

Aye.

And I wouldn't vote for jumped-up Joyce in a million year.

Course not.

TRICIA: John Salter's always been like that.

Full of charm, you mean?

Well, yeah. Underneath that gruff exterior he really is...

Who wants a brandy? - I'll get it, Trish.

It is odd, someone taking a mirror and nothing else.

Was it valuable? - I don't know.

MIKE: Tell you what I don't like, coming back

after what he did to Rose, he means business.

MIMICS: It wouldn't have happened in Blaketon's day.

Blaketon had his finger on the pulse.

Not that we ever noticed.

Hey, Trish, where did you get these postcards?

From my grandad. They were sent to him in World w*r I.

Those are the best. There's a couple of hundred here.

Let's see.

Cheers. - MIKE: Jenny?

Oh, no, thanks.

No sight of an Eileen Fowler! - PHIL: Who's she?

TRICIA: A keep-fit woman on television.

Half my patients wouldn't be patients if they took her advice.

If that's true we should do something about it.

I know that look, Jenny. What are you thinking?

Prevention's better than cure, you're always saying it. So...

let's get them leaping about. Blokes as well.

Ah.

About time an' all.

- Oh... - You've had me worried, Rosie.

Where am I?

You're in Ashfordly Hospital.

- Why? What's happened? - Nurse.

DOOR OPENS

Ah, Merton. - Oscar.

I was at High Holling canvassing.

There's a lady there by the name of Mrs Stanton.

She's had a bronze statue nicked.

I told her that one of your lads will be more than happy

to take a few details. - Did you, indeed?

While I'm here, I thought I'd appraise you of this.

The famous Village Plan.

OSCAR: It's in flagrant breach of election rules.

It should read, "Printed and published by Joyce Jowett"

followed by her address, and it doesn't.

The end is nigh, gentlemen.

Flippancy's all very well...

This is a matter for the Returning Officer, as you well know.

SONG: 'When I'm Cleaning Windows'

You could have ploughed some of these windows,

they were that mucky.

That would break them.

I wasn't being serious. I was... Cheers, mate.

Ta.

No biscuits?

Oh, no. We're...out.

No worries. Just as well I brought my own.

- That's a nice camera. - Aye.

I don't take a good photograph.

Mr Vernon says that I'm just one of those unfortunate people.

- Whereas he takes a brilliant one. - How did you know?

Yeah, well. It's a matter of getting the subject

at the right moment, natural-like.

Tell you what, go and stand over there.

David!

See what I mean? - Oh, but...

You'd have got the side of my head.

My mouth would have been open. I was going, "What?"

Yeah, but caught in the moment. Natural.

Yeah, but I wanted...

All right. Look at me, full on.

Try not looking as if you're going to be hung, David.

Crack your face a bit. What's the funniest thing you've seen?

Do you mean like ever or just lately?

Ever would include just lately.

Let it come into your mind.

Yeah, I've got it.

Smile about it, then.

David, just say "cheese", mate.

Cheese, mate.

SHUTTER CLICKS

I shall have to vote for him now, I suppose.

Who - Oscar?

Kept his word. He sent a policeman.

♪ I'll be the only one... ♪

Made of bronze, you say.

Yeah.

But somehow very lifelike.

I'd grown quite fond of him in an odd sort of way.

Any idea how much he...

how much it was worth?

No idea.

Come to think of it, he had a look of yourself to him.

Only smaller, of course.

Er...can you think of anybody who might have taken him?

Er... it.

Well...

Harvey Cottrell would be my first choice.

- The furniture bloke? - He were here the other day,

conned his way in, then offered me peanuts for some things.

Eyes everywhere, of course.

And he showed an interest in the Greek fella.

Mm. Talked about melting him down.

Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee?

Er...no.

No, no. Thanks all the same. I'd...

I'd best get back.

♪ To your surprise, I'll be the only one ♪

Morning, Mr Scripps.

I'd like a taxi, please.

David.

Mrs Jowett.

- The very same. - She wants a taxi.

If it's not too much trouble.

Mind she doesn't winkle things out of you.

What do you mean?

Preferably today.

- Where to, Mrs Jowett? - First, some leafletting.

First? What do you mean, there's going to be...

How's Mr Blaketon's campaign going?

Oh, well...

I don't know.

The chap who assaulted you, I don't suppose you saw him?

I'm afraid not, no. Was it the mirror he was after?

- I really don't know. - It wasn't just any old mirror.

I mean it was a cushion mirror. Jacobean.

John, you remember that man that came round a couple of weeks ago -

he was trying to buy things off you.

He got really nasty when you told him to...

He got nasty when he sent him packing.

So he did.

Harvey Cottrell. - That's him.

MUSIC: 'Listen People' by Herman's Hermits

Wait for me here, David. Unless you'd like to come and help?

- Oh, er... - No, maybe not.

Good morning! I hope I can count on your vote on Thursday the th.

Joyce Jowett. That's my Village Plan.

Can I interest you in my Village Plan? Thursday th.

HOOTS HORN

KNOCK ON DOOR

MERTON: Come in.

I take it you will both be at this keep-fit class of Jenny Latimer's?

Tell you what, Sarge... We will if you will.

And I will, if Ventress will. So that's that taken care of.

Right, gentlemen, what news?

Harvey Cottrell, furniture dealer.

Armed and entering with intent, Whitby .

He's been sniffing around John Salter's

and Mrs Stanton's recently.

Right. Go have a word.

On the van.

Mr Cottrell. PC Bradley, PC Bellamy, Ashfordly Police.

New furniture for the nick, lads? I've got all sorts inside.

We're looking for something special.

Bronze statue, Greek fella.

We believe you've had a blitz in the Aidensfield area.

Correct me if I'm wrong. Isn't the form, you make an offer

- and the punters say yes or no? - What if they say no and mean it?

Do you go later and help yourself?

You see, it's not just a Greek statue

we're looking for, Mr Cottrell.

An elderly couple have been assaulted and so far...

you're the common factor to both crimes.

You've outstayed your welcome.

Even so... we'd still like a look around.

MUSIC: 'Feel Too Good' by The Move

You'll not find any items unaccounted for.

I've got names, addresses, prices paid, the lot.

♪ She's got me strollin'

♪ So you wonder why

♪ Man, I was rollin'

♪ She has all I got... ♪

I don't understand the female mind sometimes.

Women died to get us the vote.

There's Mrs Hargreaves saying she lives too far

to make it worth turning out.

We've cracked that one, Mrs Jowett.

Oh, really. How?

STARTS ENGINE

CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC

WOMAN: To your left...

Phil...

And then to your right.

And to your left.

And back up again.

Look down at your toes and feel that stretch.

Back up to your right and to your left.

- Not a bloke in sight. - Sssh!

She's a good-looking lass that Suzy Fuller.

Checking the premises, gentlemen?

And reach that over. That's lovely.

And back, and the other arm. And reach over.

Just to finish off,

we'll sway very gently from side to side.

Thank you very much, ladies.

Miss Latimer, could I have a moment of your ladies' time?

Well, yeah...

This is what it's all about, ladies.

Banding together to achieve things.

In America it's women's liberation.

I'm not saying we plan to rule the world. Yet.

But I do say we're overdue

certain public facilities that'll make our lives easier.

I want you to take home a copy of my Village Plan,

reflect on it,

and vote for Joyce Jowett.

And I promise you

women's voices will be the loudest to ring in this parish.

There we are, then.

Sorry I left my money at home, Alf. Forgetful these days.

Talking about money,

that wad that you've got stuffed under the floorboards...

Oh, aye, all round the nick, is it?

You know that Mrs Ventress and me are big fans of building societies.

They pay five per cent.

Since when have you lot been my financial advisers?

Since deciding that your life savings

are a crime waiting to happen.

I'll thank you to mind your own interference.

I could do with a drink.

Ah, how did it go, then?

They've all survived I think.

I'll have four halves of bitter and an orange juice please.

We had a visit from Mrs Jowett.

She gave us a speech. - What?

She didn't join in, I notice.

She used the words "women's liberation", Oscar.

Women's liberation? In Aidensfield?

And what have you lot done about Cottrell?

Well, we've spoken to him.

I want him more than spoken to.

I want to know why he did what he did.

- Mr Salter... - My friend gets a bang

on the head that could have k*lled her, and you lot do nothing.

Miss Latimer, did my wife turn up for the class?

- She did indeed. - Best be going.

I said I wouldn't be turning out.

- Jenny, what are you having? - Orange juice, please.

Another orange juice and that's...

- JENNY: Tricia? - Gina, call an ambulance.

JENNY: Tricia?

MIKE: Trish, what's going on?

I went to the hospital. They said you'd discharged yourself.

Mike, I fainted. That's all.

They said it's all right as long as I get checked by a cardiologist.

- Cardiologist? - Can we talk about this later?

- What's wrong? - I was about to call the station.

Mike, I've been burgled.

Reggie?

What are you doing?

Your windows, Mrs Jowett.

From the inside out?

No. No, of course not.

I thought I'd try doing the insides. The door was open.

Where's your bucket?

I was looking for you.

Well, now you've found me.

Sit down there. Sit down.

Do not move a muscle.

Postcards?

Collectors' items from the first w*r.

And of interest to Harvey Cottrell?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Sorry, Sarge. Mrs Jowett's on the phone.

Tell her I'm voting for Blaketon.

On second thoughts, don't. We won't get rid of her.

Well, we may not yet. She's made a citizen's arrest.

Reggie Turnbull, the window cleaner.

It's a simple enough question.

What are you doing in Mrs Jowett's house?

I was about to clean the inside of the windows.

- Do we look stupid, Reggie? - How did you get in the house?

- The back door was open. - What's this?

You've been taking photographs in my house.

A hobby of yours, is it, then? Photography?

I think it's time we went down to the station.

Don't you, Reggie?

So, Reggie, since when did you need a camera to clean windows?

I told you. It's just a hobby of mine.

- Specialise in interiors, do you? - No.

- Wildlife mostly. - Really?

So if we have this film developed,

what will we find?

Birds and bees?

Or something more interesting?

And while I'm here, Constable, I'd like to report several breaches

of the Representation of the People Act . Do you know it?

Well, it's not up here

along with illegal parking and that sort of thing.

But fire away.

I have it from a very reliable source that my opponent Mr Blaketon

has hired the services of a local taxi firm

to run his voters to the poll.

Good grief.

Well, if money changes hands, it's downright illegal

And he's using licensed premises as committee rooms.

For all I know he could be treating people in there to get their votes.

Would you pass that on to Sergeant Merton

and ask him to do something?

I'll pass it on straight away.

Thank you, Constable.

Elections. They bring out the best in people.

- Well? - Well, what?

Have you brought Harvey Cottrell in yet?

- Now, John, just listen... - No. You listen.

Harvey Cottrell stands out like a sore thumb.

Offered me five bob for that mirror.

I put a flea in his ear. He comes back and nicks it.

How much simpler can it be?

Mr Salter, your mirror isn't at his premises.

So there's no reason to bring him in.

He won't have it on display for you lot, will he?

Honestly, want a job done, do it yourself!

Now, just a second, John.

Ladies...er...

Ladies and gentlemen,

the hustle and bustle of th century life

is all very well in its place.

But that place is not Aidensfield.

Aidensfield is a place of peace and tranquillity.

And I am the man to ensure

that that peace and tranquillity remains.

I am the man for the job.

Thank you very much.

LOUDSPEAKER WHINES

That sounded good.

They tell me it's a close-run thing.

Me versus Joyce Jowett? I find that very hard to believe.

Don't you?

Yeah.

If you'd said, I could have done lunch.

Well, I'm not that hungry.

- I only came here to nag you. - I thought you might have done.

Well, then. Tests?

You made arrangements? - No, I haven't.

Mike, I don't really need to.

Trish, you promised.

I know what's wrong.

I've known for years.

When I was a kid I had rheumatic fever.

I'll explain another time,

but it's left me with mitral stenosis.

- Which is? - A narrowing of a heart valve.

And you went out and did a fitness class?

I've had it for years. It's never bothered me before.

I must've overdone it. It's nothing to worry about.

I'll probably live till I'm . Happy now?

It depends on what you'll be like.

A sweet old lady or a raging battle-axe?

That's for you to find out.

Now, about that lunch... Is there any news of my postcards?

No, afraid not.

Trish?

Who cleans your windows?

Reggie Turnbull. Why?

No reason.

- Oh, hello. - Take me and my spade

to Harvey Cottrell's yard.

- I don't think you should... - Just drive, David!

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station.

Oh, yes, Bernie.

Really?

Yeah. Thanks for letting us know.

John Salter's just commandeered David and his taxi.

He's armed with a spade.

My guess is he's on his way to Harvey Cottrell's place.

SONG: 'Tired Of Trying, Bored With Lying Scared Of Dying'

♪ The fascists horrify you They're a sin and a shame

♪ Discrimination, immigration... ♪

- Shall I look after your spade? - No. You wait in the taxi.

♪ Man, what's the incentive to try?

♪ You know, I'm tired of trying... ♪

Changed your mind, Mr Salter? Now, hang on a minute.

You're coming with me, Harvey, down the nick.

Taxi's waiting.

You can't just come here like a mad axeman.

First you'll pay for hurting Rosie

and then tell the police where my mirror is.

Come back, Cottrell!

- Where's Mr Salter? - In there, Mr Bradley.

Get out of there, Cottrell.

Mr Salter, calm down!

You're going to pay for what you've done.

Calm down, man!

Get out!

Mr Salter!

Get out, Cottrell!

Give me the spade, Mr Salter.

You can count your lucky stars Cottrell's not pressing charges.

Aye. Well, says it all, eh?

He's guilty as sin.

Just leave it to us if he's guilty or not.

What was that spade about? Digging a trench in the man?

I don't know why you lot have suddenly taken against me.

I want this joker to do time.

I've told you, John.

Leave it to us. You've done enough damage.

Look, I'm sorry.

What can I say? Thanks, Alf.

Don't mention it.

I tell you what you can do, if you really want to make amends.

Why don't you and that money you keep under the floorboards

take a walk down to the building society in the morning?

Reggie?

Have a seat.

Your money for last month. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

It's been a bit difficult this last few days, Mr Wilkins.

Oh, aye?

Not got so much done. You know how it goes.

No, I don't.

Mr Wilkins, I think I'd like to give it a rest for a while.

It's a bit awkward that, Reggie. I've got bills to pay.

Customers waiting.

You never said it'd come to knocking old people around.

You heard about that? Does it get better every time it's told?

Have I k*lled her yet?

- Well, no. - She slipped, Reggie.

It were unfortunate.

I still got t'mirror in the end though.

Aye, well, I'd like to call it a day, Mr Wilkins.

Facts of life, Reggie.

One... Aidensfield's a very classy area

and I'm not done wi' it yet.

Two... It's your fingerprints on them photos as well as mine

and I've kept every one of 'em.

You're in this till I say otherwise.

Three... It isn't just pensioners I clobber.

MIKE: So, this is what he calls wildlife, eh?

What did you hope to find?

They all look pretty innocent to me.

Reggie cleans windows for everyone in the village.

He does Tricia's, John Salter's...

He probably does Alice Stanton's as well.

In each case one specific item has been stolen,

which suggests the thief knows exactly what he or she is after.

Go on.

If Reggie does clean windows for Alice Stanton,

that links him to all the houses that've been burgled.

Might explain what he's doing in Joyce Jowett's house with a camera.

Perhaps you should pay Alice Stanton another visit.

Good luck, Mike. Funny lady.

♪ I know you're very busy but I don't mind

♪ We gotta be grown-up so don't be blind

♪ You know the only one you love is all mine... ♪

Morning, Mrs Stanton. PC Mike Bradley.

Aidensfield Police. - Hello. What a lovely surprise.

Odd question for you. Um...

Your windows... does Reggie Turnbull clean them?

Yeah, he does.

Nice lad. Comes once a fortnight.

He likes my home-made biscuits.

I was just about to make a cup of coffee.

No, really. I must dash. We'll be in touch.

MOTORBIKE REVS

Reggie? What's happened?

I'm sorry, Gina. Really. I didn't know where else to go.

My mum said Mr Blaketon... - Sit down, love.

Well, I think Dr Summerbee

should take a look at that face of yours, Reggie.

Please, not her.

Come on, then.

What's all this about? - I met this fellow last year.

I were doing the windows at Herondale shops

and he comes out of one.

He says, can we have a chat?

If I'd said no, none of this would've happened.

Obviously you didn't.

What was his name?

Peter Wilkins.

He takes me to a cafe, buys me breakfast.

He seemed really nice.

I'm not making excuses, but that's what he did.

Do I do a lot of houses, he asks.

Posh houses, houses with stuff in them that's worth a few bob.

Of course I do.

And he asks you to keep a record of what the people have.

Not exactly.

He bought me a camera that morning.

Said any chance I had to take snaps of people's rooms.

So he'd go through the photos and then rob the places?

The cheek of it!

Why the cuts and bruises?

I told him today I wanted out.

I never thought people'd end up in hospital.

Mrs Protheroe, she's dead nice.

He says I'm in it till he says.

Hold that on there. I'll be back in a sec.

What am I going to do, Mr Blaketon? - Go to the police station.

You can tell them your story.

You've had the guts to tell me.

You'll have the guts to tell them.

- Any luck, Mike? - No, Sarge.

Reggie's not home and his mum doesn't know

when he'll be back. We've got no real evidence.

I know.

Afternoon, Merton. - Oscar.

This lad here has got a tale to tell.

If you'd told us this the other day,

you'd still have a face left.

Give us Peter's address, Reggie.

Greendale Mill, Herondale Road.

- I know it. - I'm not the only one he's got.

I think there's like a team of us in different villages.

Delivery people and stuff. People with access.

Who does he sell it on to?

Someone in Dublin. He's always saying they can't get enough of it.

Dublin? How does he get it there?

A cargo boat leaves Whitby once a fortnight,

does a round trip of the Irish ports.

What's going to happen to me? - You'll pay for what you've done.

But one or two will speak up for you

when the time comes. Oscar Blaketon included.

Put him in a cell, PC Bellamy, till we decide what to do with him.

Come on, you two. Cheer up. It's not the end of the world.

What are you so cheerful about?

By the end of the day Joyce Jowett will be history

and we'll be celebrating a bright future.

I'm not so sure about that.

Everything staying the same.

It's going to be a close thing.

What do you mean? Close?

Not everybody's that keen on you, Mr Blaketon.

Mrs Butterworth said, "I'm not going to vote for that..."

- The polling station closes soon. - Oh, aye?

Mrs Butterworth said what?

You'd better get off and collect the rest of the support.

Bernie...?

MUSIC: 'Get Away' by Georgie Fame

♪ Gotta go

♪ I hope you're ready, girl

♪ Take a look outside

♪ Don't mind the weather, girl

♪ Let's take a ride

♪ Get away

♪ We'll leave the city

♪ Or we'll have to stay

♪ Don't have to pack, girl

♪ Just get away... ♪

Sarge, I've made some phone calls about these burglaries.

We aren't the only station with burglaries outstanding

all with the same MO.

A specific piece taken in each case.

Same sort of stuff?

Even another bronze statue.

Good work, Mike. This'll look good at HQ.

We'll finish the job tomorrow.

You'd better cast your vote in the village

in case there's been a riot.

Right, Sarge.

♪ Gotta go

♪ Get away

♪ Take a look at that deep blue sea

♪ Don't you think it looks great... ♪

- All right? - Thank you very much.

I'll pick you up after fifteen minutes.

♪ The time is right

♪ Don't let it slip away

♪ Instead of dreaming about tomorrow... ♪

- All done, then? - Yeah.

Another blow for women's liberation.

♪ Gotta go

♪ Get away

♪ Take a look at that deep blue sea... ♪

- Hello, Michael. - Evening, Bernie.

Have you seen David? Voting ends in ten minutes.

I'm sure he'll turn up. You know David. Ever reliable.

Oh, very funny. Go on. Get your vote in at least.

Here you go.

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Arms. - Gina? It's me.

I'm at Mr Salter's house. - David, what are you doing there?

I'm taking him and three others to the election,

but we've had a puncture.

'I've got to tell Mr Blaketon and Mr Scripps.

We've got to be there by : .'

Otherwise Mr Blaketon, he won't win. So Mr Scripps...

Calm down, David.

'Can you get Mr Salter to help you with the tyre?'

- Yes. - Don't panic.

I'm sure Oscar will understand you've tried your best.

'I'll tell him. Ta-ra.' - Right, bye.

Come on, folks, we're off.

Thanks, Mr Salter.

MUSIC: 'Hold Tight' by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich

♪ Hold tight, count to three

♪ Gotta stay close by me

♪ And hold tight, sing and shout

♪ Just ride my roundabout And hold tight, shut your eyes

♪ Girl, you suit me

♪ For si-i-i-ize

♪ Forget the other guys

♪ You'll never fall each time you call

♪ Hold tight

♪ Hold tight

♪ Hold ti-i-i-ight... ♪

SWERVING AND HOOTING

♪ And hold tight, carousel

♪ Girl, you'll soon ring my bell

♪ And hold tight, we will fly

♪ Swinging low, swinging high

♪ Hi-i-i-i-igh... ♪

Where've you been?

Oh, never mind. You'd better get in there quick. You might be too late.

♪ Each time you call

♪ Hold tight

♪ Hold tight

♪ Hold ti-i-i-ight... ♪

PETER: Aye. Yeah.

I'll phone you back.

Mr Wilkins? I have a warrant to search these premises.

Oh...

May I have the pleasure of this dance?

Are you sure?

HUMS VIENNESE DANCE

Careful.

Careful!

In you go.

Oh, dear.

Right. Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted the other night?

I don't know. Where were you?

I was about to ask you on a cruise.

- Oh, don't be so daft. - No, really, I was.

Folk round here reckon I've got long pockets.

They're right. But I'd spend all I've got on you, Rosie.

- Oh. - How do you fancy it?

You and me, dancing the night away?

Oh, it'd be smashing.

What are we going to use for money?

What are you...

I'm a big fan of the building society.

% they give.

The Caribbean, I thought.

Oh!

SHE GIGGLES

Er...postcards, Sarge, Donald McGill.

They belong to Tricia Summerbee. - Yes.

And this fella, Bellamy, belongs to your friend Mrs Stanton.

It doesn't look a bit like me.

I feel sorry for young Reggie, getting mixed up in all that.

What are you going to do with him now?

The courts'll decide, but we've put a good word in for him.

It's a shame. He's such a nice lad.

He was obviously terrified of that Wilkins bloke.

Hi, girls. What can I get you?

Gin and tonic and whatever Tricia's having.

- I will have... - Orange juice?

Not you as well. I thought I was the doctor around here.

Don't worry. I'm keeping a close eye on her.

Will you all stop worrying? I'm fine. Honest.

JENNY: Nevertheless, you should go easy on the keep fit for a while.

And I think we might have to find new premises.

Joyce Jowett said she saw two dodgy characters hanging around outside.

Congratulations, Councillor.

Ah, yes. Thanks, Alf.

Even if it was by just four votes.

Yes, well, those four votes were very crucial,

weren't they, David? - Oh, yes, Mr Blaketon.

So what are you folks having? The drinks are on me.

I'll have a pint, Councillor.

- BELLAMY: Same again. - And me.