Mabel. In you get.
Mabel. Car.
Mabel. Come on, mate.
Get in the car.
Mabel. Car!
Car! Come on, mate.
Come on, don't be a dickhead.
Hey.
I know that it's a bit scary.
It is for me too.
But we're going home.
Hey? We're going home.
In you pop.
There you go. Good girl.
Good job.
Okay.
Oh no...
Lately I've been
Trying to help myself out
Switching my brain
On and off again
Get some time away from me
- I want to shed my skin
-Two hours!
Leave an empty shell
Behind
Start a new life
Somewhere other Than here
Got all these Grand ideas
But everything I have is
Too heavy to hold
And everything I do
Feels out of my control
And everything I have is
Too heavy to hold
And everything I do
Feels out of my control
Lately I've been
Trying to sort Myself out...
Steady on.
We don't even have a doctor yet.
...rearrange all of
These thoughts
Bigger than me
I want to shed my skin
Leave an empty shell behind
Start a new life
Somewhere other than here
I'm always with you, my dear
Everything I have is
Too heavy to hold
Everything I do
Feels out of my control
Everything I have is
Too heavy to hold
I'm trying to let go
I'm drowning in Myself...
Grass for days, Mabes.
Rabbits to terrorise.
So much to sniff.
You're gonna love it.
Hey?
Here we are, Mabes. Hey?
Got all these grand ideas
Everything I have is
Too heavy to hold
I'm trying to let go
Who coughed?
Wait outside
if you're going to cough.
Mrs Bunyan. Hello.
Surgery opens at nine, Dr
Anderson.
-I'm so sorry. -Well, you've
got a busy morning.
- Let's get moving.
- Thank you.
No animals in the surgery.
Oh, Mabel's a therapy dog.
She'll sit right here in the
corner.
No, she will not.
Bloody hell.
This is a doctor's surgery,
not a five-star rehab
in the Byron Bay Hinterlands.
- Therapy dog.
- Dr H said that she'd be fine.
Dr Holliday is on holiday
and I run the show here.
She can come in with me then.
Sit down, Billy Pope. Wait your
turn like everyone else.
Thank you, Mr Pope.
It's great to have you back
again, Dr Anderson.
Oh, cut it out. I'm Penny.
I'm so sorry that I'm late,
everyone.
Hopefully, you won't be
waiting too long.
Come on, Mabel. Come on.
Oh.
Mabel. Good name.
See this mole on my arm?
It's been there about three
years.
Yeah, that's nothing to worry
about, but we'll book you in
for a full-body skin check in
town.
- Could it be cancer?
- Oh, probably not.
But it's worth checking after
a lifetime of Appleton sun.
But there is a chance
it could be cancer?
It's best to rule everything
out.
Okay.
I don't want to take up
more of your time, Penny,
but there is one other thing.
Well, Miss Vaughn,
I am here for all the things.
Apparently,
it's going to be a big year
for baked goods at the show.
Are you going in the scone
competition this year
with your nanna's recipe?
And go against these?
No way.
Very wise.
What was it?
Put your potatoes down, love.
Have a stretch.
- We'll do plain sprints, no
weights. -
Aunty Barb, that's the last
thing I need to be doing.
Get a drink. Then sprints.
I'm not going to win
with these times.
Kazzy Pearce will be able to
b*at me even if she's still
preggers.
Stop that.
You're the greatest
female potato racer
the town's ever seen.
You'll get there.
Come on.
We can fit you in
around three, Gavin.
I've got a job at three, Mum.
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, son.
- Hi, Gavin.
- Where's Doctor H?
Ah, he's on long service leave,
so I'm here taking his place
for the next few months.
Nah.
Ah, Kazzy Pearce.
So, I'm due in two weeks, right?
The potato race is in four.
Your sister's not
b*ating me again, got it?
Got it.
But there's some risks racing
so close to having a baby.
Yeah, why don't you
take that over there
and put her over by the books?
- Do you know about prolapse?
- Yeah.
Of course I know about
prolapse. That's what I'm here
for.
Okay, good.
So, what undies do you
recommend?
Undies?
To hold everything in me clunge.
Like, surely there's some
prescription undies?
Ah, yeah. They're called
prolapse support garments.
- But they're pretty expensive.
- I can't pay through Medicare?
I've got a health care card.
Um...
Here, take a look.
Three hundred bucks! f*ck me
dead!
So, what's the computer
situation here?
There is no computer situation
here.
You and Dr H do everything by
hand?
Always have.
What if the hospital needs
something quickly?
Seriously?
A fax machine?
We have a system. It's worked
perfectly well for 30 years.
Dr H mentioned I'll probably be
here longer than his holiday,
didn't he?
He did.
So, I'm going to need
a computer, okay?
Righto. Do what you like.
Heard there's a new doctor in
town and she's a massive
cockwomble!
Heard the local hairdresser
still uses streak caps
and is a massive slut bag.
Streak caps? Foils forever.
Dr Anderson, if you won't
be needing me
- for anything else...?
- No.
Are you making Joan
call you "Dr Anderson"?
Of course not. Mrs Bunyan, you
can't be calling me Dr
Anderson.
It's weird.
I'll be calling you Dr Anderson
while we're here.
- So long. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Still a bundle of fun,
your mother-in-law.
She's all right.
Did you know they don't use
computers here? Not one.
I don't use a computer either.
You're a hairdresser.
- Hey, put that back.
- I need it.
- Ah, you don't need a speculum.
- I do.
You can administer
your own pap smear?
Yeah, maybe.
I love a pap smear.
- You're mental.
- You are.
So, speaking of,
are you going to try again?
Ah, I have about half an egg
left.
I've told you,
you can have some of mine.
It's not meant to be.
I'm looking forward to
Elliott's party. Are you
organised?
No. Thank God for Aunty Barb.
Thank God for Aunty Barb.
I'm going to book you in
for a treatment next week.
You're a mess.
I'm telling you, she'll get
bored.
Joan! She'll be here any minute.
- I don't care if she hears me.
- Well, I do.
I want her to feel welcome.
She's had a rough couple of
years. Go easy, hey?
So disappointing
that man got her promotion.
Yeah, it was so unfair.
Oh, I can't believe she'll be
here.
And just in time
for the Appleton Show.
Maybe she can help
with show business.
We're all right with show
business.
Ethan? You decided what show
bag you're getting this year?
Aunty Barb, I'm 19.
I have an apprenticeship
and I make me own craft beer.
Never too old for a show bag,
but.
Have you told Elliot about the
music?
No, I didn't.
I thought we could tell him
tonight together on his
birthday.
What, Nanna?
Well, we'll have to run it
in front of the committee...
We are the committee.
The Cold Chisel tribute band...
Bold Sizzle.
They like to use a local
support act, so we gave them
your demo...
- And they loved it!
- Of course they loved it.
Seriously?
What do you say to your nanna
and your Aunty Barb?
I'm bloody stoked. Thank you so
much.
Happy birthday, darling.
Your first paid gig,
and on Appleton Race Day.
- It's paid?
- You bet it is. 250 dollars.
What?
Oh, look.
- Here's the food.
- One of the best ones. Whoo!
Why are they all broken?
It's true. The doctor's back in
town.
Hey, Mark.
How's my beautiful boy?
Ah!
Your beautiful boy
needs his nappy changed.
Mmm.
- How long are you here for?
- Don't know yet.
How are you going?
Don't know yet.
Righto. So everyone's out the
back?
Come on. Let's go get you
changed.
Phooey! Phooey! Yuck!
- To the...
- Did you want...?
- No!
- You don't want it.
Pass it, Bob.
Here's our girl.
The woman of the moment.
- This is for you.
- Aunty Pen. Really?
- Here at last. -It's
Elliot's birthday, Aunty Barb.
He is the man of the moment.
But our girl, she's back!
Only for a few weeks.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
Oh my God!
Thank you so much, Aunty Pen.
It's a telecaster.
This is huge!
Goodness me, so shiny!
Can't wait
to hear you play it.
You won't have to wait long.
This darling, Penny, has a gig
at the Appleton Show.
- Wow!
- Come on, Aunty Barb.
Love, how are you settling in?
I can't believe you're staying
in an Airbnb
when Barb and I
have still got your room.
- Didn't want to impose.
- Family don't impose.
Family can definitely impose.
Okay, why are we not eating
Aunty Barb's potato salad?
Let's get going.
Mark! Dinner!
- Where is Mark?
- You're so welcome.
Gosh, this is the best.
This is my dream guitar.
Well, he told me that
it might be your dream guitar.
Look at this.
- So nice.
- Sounding good.
Thanks, Aunty Pen.
Oh well, I might get going
'cause we've got another busy
day tomorrow, hey, Mrs Bunyan?
Take some cake for your morning
tea.
I will.
I wish you could stay forever.
I really do.
What's so great about the city?
It stinks.
The traffic, you don't know
your neighbours...
I'd like not to know my
neighbours.
There's people on dr*gs.
There's people on dr*gs
at this very table, Aunty Barb.
And what about living five
minutes
from an actual
Westfield shopping centre?
And the musicals.
Appleton Theatrical Society
did a fabulous production
of Grease last year.
- Fabulous.
- Mmm.
They did.
Well, on that,
I've been thinking about this
for a while, and...
I think I might want to move
home.
Like, Dr H's holiday
might be a trial.
- Really?
- Oh!
- Sweet.
- Awesome.
Really?
Yeah, I sold my place in Sydney.
- What?
- Oh my God.
- You sold your place in Sydney?
- Yeah.
That's a big move, Pen.
Yeah. I mean, I always thought
that I would come home
eventually.
Did you know about this?
I can help you with the boys.
And how is being a country GP
going to be enough for you?
I can tell you,
it's different every day.
You couldn't get out of this
town fast enough when you
finished school.
Why are you being so weird
about this?
- I'm not being weird.
- You're being weird.
You are.
What? Don't take all the cake.
Yeah, I'll take as much as I
want to.
-Girls! -It's not your cake.
It's Elliot's.
- Well, I bloody made it.
- Oh!
Ah ha!
You did not. Aunty Barb? Huh?
Well, I did I did all the piano
keys.
Did you stick
these liquorice logs on, did
you?
Oh...
Ooh...
See? It's going to be so fun
having me back.
Good night.
- Bye, darling.
- Bye.
G'day! Billy Hindmarsh with
you from Appleton FM,
and it's three weeks now
until the Appleton Potato
Race.
It's been timed pretty
perfectly with the harvest,
and right about now,
those potatoes are coming
out of the ground,
and they're getting put
in those sacks
to be carried by
our fine potato athletes.
So, good luck, fellas.
And the ladies.
You look like you might be a
cappuccino drinker, Mrs Bunyan.
No, thanks. Moccona will do me
fine.
I thought it might be nice for
us to have an espresso machine
here
because we both go through
a lot of coffee
and they're very easy to make.
Ha! I don't need another job.
Thank you.
Okay.
I'm headed to Nikki's for lunch.
You've got a patient in 20
minutes.
Okay.
Penny Anderson, I'll be coming
to see you next week about this
finger.
Come and see me this arvo,
Sharon. We can fit you in.
Thanks, love.
Be careful of that
finger if I was you, Shaz.
I hear she's back here
'cause she sliced into
someone's brain
and made them an idiot.
Cut the crap, Denise.
Sure no one's sliced into your
brain? Made you an idiot?
Look, Aunty Barb,
obviously, you and I
would have to be on Survivor.
Both athletes. We've got grunt.
- A lot of grunt!
- Grunt.
Nikki's a genius.
She won't do you wrong.
Can I book you in for 4:00 p.m.?
Whereas, um, Penny,
it's a different story.
- What did I miss?
- Okay, bye.
So, if you had to be on a
reality TV show, what would it
be?
- Oh, I wouldn't be on any.
- - Oh, that's not the game!
Why do you never play
this game properly?
You have to be on one.
You could be on the Bake Off.
You make wonderful scones.
Oh, what about one of
the dating ones? Come on.
Would you go on
one of those dating ones?
- I don't need to.
- I don't want to.
And I can't do anything
that would be remotely
interesting for anyone watching
reality TV.
Oh, but you're so good
at being a mole.
You are heaps better at being a
mole.
Okay, being a mole is
a talent I have.
I will admit that.
That's why I'd be great
on any of them.
Speaking of being a mole,
how do I get you-know-who to
agree to some computer
training?
- Penny!
- Sorry, Aunty Barb, she is...
Joan's stressed at the moment.
Try her after the show.
You training for
the potato race, Penny?
Oh, no way.
I'll just wait until the Monday
after
for all the back, hip,
and ego injuries
to come flooding into the
surgery.
Has Nikki roped you into it?
Well, you're not a true local
until you've run in the potato
race.
- That's what Nikki says.
- Rubbish!
I am a proud sixth-generation
potato racer.
Penny is the only one in this
family that doesn't get the
potato race.
It is not that I don't get it.
I just have no interest
in putting a sack of potatoes
across my shoulder
and running around an oval.
Here, can you put these
in the surgery?
Why hasn't Mrs Bunyan put them
up?
Because she doesn't mix show
business with her medical work.
Please.
I hate to be this arsehole,
but you've got a typo.
Of course you found a typo.
It's printed now.
I don't want to see it.
Don't show me.
- It's pretty significant.
- Show me.
Like, how did none of you
pick that up?
What?
$200. There's a zero missing.
Ugh, as if.
Well then, there's one too many
on the blokes'.
Nah.
The blokes' prize money is
$2,000 and yours is 200?
200 bucks is all I need.
Buys me a train into the city
and a ticket to a musical.
Sorry, if I win, that is.
If Rania wins, she will be...?
Oh, I'm taking my daughter,
Miriam, to Sydney
to climb the Harbour Bridge.
Two-hundred bucks won't get you
up the first pylon.
Okay. I'll tell her.
Your patient's waiting.
Oh, um...
Nikki, that's crazy.
Like, this is... this is crazy,
and I can't believe that
you would think that it isn't.
We'll be talking
more about this after work.
No, we won't.
You were very quiet through
all of that, Aunty Barb.
I've tried a few times
to get some more from the kitty
for the ladies' race,
but... never had any luck.
I can't believe
I didn't notice it before.
Righto. These are done.
What is it?
Why is the prize money
for the potato race
$2,000 for the blokes
and 200 for the women?
Blokes' race is a much bigger
deal.
Right. Why?
More history. They carry more
weight.
Men's race gets more sponsors.
But isn't that unfair?
-How? -Isn't sport supposed to
be equal?
It's not.
Yeah, but it should be.
Take it up with the committee.
Aren't you the committee?
Billy Pope,
Dr Anderson will see you now.
- G'day doc.
- Hi, come on through.
Mr Pope, you're on the
committee.
Did you know about the prize
money for the potato race?
Back in my day,
you raced for the honour.
Do you think your grandad ran
for the prize money?
Come on. He was the greatest
champion the race ever saw.
I don't think he ever took home
a dollar for it.
You know Nikki b*at his record
two years ago?
So it doesn't bother you that
the ladies' race
doesn't have the same prize
money as the men?
Love, it would bother me if it
did.
Um, we need to get
your blood pressure up.
So, it might be
your Parkinson's medication.
Let's try taking just one
Mirapex at night before bed.
Righto.
Are you in a rush?
I just can't afford
a double appointment.
Look, no disrespect,
but can't be talking potato
racing while the clock's
ticking.
- We bulk bill, Mr Pope.
- Not for double appointments.
Well, today we do.
Ladies' race just isn't the
same.
Sorry love.
- Yes, that's good.
- Thanks, Maria.
Hey, Gavin.
Who are you training
for the potato race this year?
None of your business.
Are you training any women?
Why do you even care?
I want to know the difference
in, you know, skill.
And I thought you would be the
one to know about that.
Don't even know why
they want to race.
They're not built for it. They
can't carry the same weight.
They can't run as fast. They...
they cry if they trip over.
Gavin! That's completely bull S
and you know it.
The ladies' race
has its own brand of special.
May not be as fast or as heavy,
but it's just as glorious.
Which is why the prize money
should be equal.
Chicks want everything that's
ours these days.
That's what's bull S.
Love it when Gavin pops in.
He's like a sunny day
after a week of flooding.
- Okay. Thanks.
- Cheers.
How much longer are you working?
Well, until I pop, mate.
Yeah, you're about to pop.
Can't you rest?
Yeah, it's funny, the money
tree out the back of me house
has stopped bloody growing.
Can you believe it?
Speaking of money,
what is with the blokes getting
paid two grand for the potato
race,
- and the women get...
- Yeah, and we get 200.
Yeah. What are you having?
Oh, ah, um, sausage roll
and tomato sauce,
and...
a vanilla slice, please.
Yeah, I'd be stoked with 200
bucks.
It was no hundred bucks
a few years ago.
Someone has to do something
about it.
Yeah? How?
Six bucks 80.
Hello, Aunty Barb.
- Hello, Mrs Bunyan.
- Hello, darling.
How nice to see you here.
I've come to talk about the
prize money for the potato
race.
It's not on the agenda.
Can you add it to the agenda?
It's 4:59.
Um, I didn't realise I...
Can't it be part
of general business, Joan?
It's 5:00 p.m.
I call this meeting of the
Appleton Show Committee to
order.
Present are
Joan Bunyan, president.
Barb Brickner, secretary.
Yep. Apology from Billy Pope,
committee member in charge
of entertainment.
- Flu?
- Yep.
Apology from Billy Pearce,
food and beverage.
Hope the flu doesn't get
all the Billys.
Apology from Billy Morton,
committee member in charge
of the potato races.
Don't know what's happened to
him.
The bastard didn't even
bother texting.
- Catch you later.
- G'day. Yeah.
To middies and schnitties.
To schnitties and middies. Yeah.
Mm!
- See ya.
- See ya.
Item number 17,
food and beverage.
The refugee's action
group wants to put up a stall.
Some of the refugees want
to share their food.
Bloody hell, Barb.
This is the Appleton Show,
not the multicultural festival.
Don't put that down.
I've never tried Syrian food,
Joan,
and they want to do it
for a gold coin donation.
Isn't that lovely?
Rania wants to put
the locals out of business
by offering up free food?
Rania wants to be part
of the community.
Meet people, make some friends.
If you've got the choice
between a jacket potato
for 15 bucks from Tracey,
and a goat curry for a dollar,
what are you choosing?
It's show day, Joan.
I'm eating it all.
Righto. Back entrance
of the pavilion.
-Can I ask about the plan
for... -Not general business
yet.
Item number 33.
The potato race.
30th year of the ladies'
race.
The debacle of '91, we had no
choice.
Personally, I'm quite proud
of the debacle of '91, Joan.
I'm proud the show survived it.
All those in favour
of Cheryl Abbott's
potato sack fashion competition
"Hessians on the Field" say
aye.
Aye.
General business.
Any member of the public
wants to raise a concern
with the committee?
Oh, me!
I want to raise a concern.
Penny Anderson, member of the
public, wants to raise a
concern.
Noted. Penny Anderson,
what is your concern?
-The prize money for the potato
race. -What about it?
The men get $2,000,
and the women get 200.
And?
It's unfair.
- Says who?
- Says everyone.
Have any of the ladies running
in the race mentioned this to
you?
No.
Your sister, the current
Appleton Ladies' Potato Race
champion?
No.
But there is equal prize money
pretty much everywhere now.
Not in rugby league, not in
cricket, not in AFL. And why?
Because they're not up to
the men's standard.
Once they get the crowds
and the skills,
maybe they'll deserve it.
I would like to propose that
the show society
does the right thing and makes
the prize money equal.
How? Got any ideas how we're
going to get the extra 2,000
three weeks out from show day?
Surely you have a reserve.
We do not have a reserve.
-Sponsors? -Sponsors are locked
in and paid.
Fancy asking them
for more money, Barb?
No, I do not.
Sorry, Penny. Sponsorship's
hard enough to get as it is.
I just think the prize money
should be equal
and we should do something
about it.
Righto. Any other general
business?
This meeting
of the Appleton Show Committee
has ended at 6:59 p.m.
Here, can you pass it
to me, Aunty Barb?
Ready?
And...
ready,
set,
go!
Look at her, Mabel-cakes.
She's a potato-racing goddess.
You know what?
Mrs Bunyan can get stuffed.
This is bigger than her. Hey?
It's bigger than her.
What was it, Aunty Barb?
1:57.
Ugh, that's garbage!
Darling, you're two weeks away
from your fortieth birthday.
Your times are going to get
slower. Let's do some weight
training.
I've been doing weight training.
I've been doing
everything you told me.
I just want to win
one last time.
I don't want it to end yet.
Okay, well, let's go again.
There's no easy way to
Way to say goodbye
There's no regrets
I've followed your footsteps
But I got to find my own
path
Ooh, ooh, I'll be
Ooh, ooh, I'll be brave...
Hey, do you like this?
"Appleton Ladies' Potato Race
Prize Equality.
Let's mash the potato ceiling."
What do you think? Yeah?
Shall we?
Not bad.
It's time for me
Now or never
It's time for me
Now or never
- Hi.
- G'day.
You always told me
How far I could go...
Yeah, go on.
Yeah? Pop it.
Thanks, Kazzy.
Ooh, ooh, I'll be
Ooh, ooh, I'll be brave...
Oh, Doctor. You've got
the results of my test?
-Miss Vaughn, everything's
fine. -Oh.
I'm actually here to ask
if you would like to donate
to the Appleton Ladies' Potato
Race prize equality fund?
I'm not one of those feminists.
-Do you think women should
vote? -Yes.
And do you think that people
should pay the same amount of
money
for your scones as they would
for Billy Pearce's scones?
They should pay more.
Mine are much better.
Congratulations, Miss Vaughn.
You are a feminist.
Oh, goodness me.
At my age?
So, I'm taking donations of
anything from ten cents
upwards.
Yes, all right. Just a minute.
How's $20?
That would be wonderful, thank
you.
Through the open field
And I look to the sky
And follow the voice
That carries me
'Cause it's time
For me...
Hello there. Would you like to
donate to the Appleton
Ladies'...
- No.
- ...Potato Race.
Hello there. Would you like to
donate to the Appleton Ladies'
Potato Race?
It's time for me
Now or never
Piss off.
Okay then, thank you.
It's time for me
Now or never
You heard how Pen's going
with the fundraising?
Ugh, it's just, it's so Penny.
To just come in and try and
change something without asking
anyone.
I mean, without asking me.
Not even, what, two weeks
after she gets here?
You don't want more money?
I just want it to be like it is.
I don't understand why she
needs to make a big sh*t show.
I feel so embarrassed.
- We never...
- See? There you go.
She's making you feel
embarrassed.
I should be.
How did I not change this
before?
Aunty Barb, there would be
no ladies' race without you.
$200 prize money?
We should be doing better than
that.
We don't run the race for
the money, Aunty Barb.
We run it to feel the thrill of
the crowd in the grandstands.
The pressure of
the potatoes on our backs.
The burn as you round
the third corner,
dust flying up in your mouths.
The mud making you feel like
you're running through cement.
The pump of the sack on the
ground at the end as winner.
See? It's not about the money.
Hey, darling.
- Anyone put any notes in?
- Not that I saw.
Nikki. Can't you help me?
-An endorsement from the
champion? -No!
-You're being so dumb. -You
just put in the money yourself.
You make about 500 an hour.
I wish.
You could fund both races
with that coat, Pen.
I have thought about this.
It needs to come from the
community or it means nothing.
And before you ask, no, we
can't split the men's prize
money.
I won't be asking you
that. Can you imagine?
We can't take anything
away from the men,
but we need to make it equal.
But it's not equal.
- How are you, Gavin?
- It's not equal.
-Well, you may think that,
but... -I know that.
- How many races have you run?
- Hardly the point.
'Cause I've raced eight
and I've coached 12,
and I'm telling ya, it's not
equal.
Have you actually ever put a
50-kilo sack of potatoes on
your back?
- No.
- No.
This race is a tribute to the
men...
And it's men, believe me...
That carted them sacks
from the fields and the sheds
to the trucks and the shops.
I am fully aware of
this town's history.
- My whole family...
- Right.
So you know then that it's not
equal,
so why are you wasting all our
time with your lezzo bullshit?
Come on. Gavin?
Oh, piss off, Bob.
It's because of limp-d*ck
fucks like you
that women in this town
don't know their place.
- Gavin!
- It's not equal!
So take all your leftie
bullshit back to Sydney where
it belongs
with all them other fuckwits
and h*m*.
That's enough. I mean it, Gavin.
That language?
It's appalling language.
You should start thinking about
walking home.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Come on, Gavin.
No one wants the cops
up here tonight.
Just go!
- I'm so sorry, Uncle Bob.
- You've got nothing to be sorry
for.
What he said, that was...
It's nothing I haven't
heard before, love.
He's so angry that boy. So
angry.
This kind of sh*t, Pen. See?
It brings out the ugly.
Aren't you meant to be
on a beach in Noosa?
It is she!
The student has returned from
her time in the world to her
teacher.
Oh, but she's so sophisticated.
Gone is the teenage acne
and the ill-considered glasses.
He sees her transformed into a
woman of substance and style.
But, um...
she's developed a penchant
for trouble-making.
You've been talking to Mrs
Bunyan.
You've made my life very hard
with your manilla folders.
My dear, it's a battle your
teacher wasn't equipped to
have.
I don't like computers much
either.
So when are you coming back?
I'm quite enjoying my freedom
from lancing the boils off
Appletonian bums.
How are you finding it?
- I like the work.
- Mmm.
Can I help ya?
Yep.
If you pull it
from here, gently,
you won't have to put
so much arm into it.
- How's Nugget?
- At the vet.
- Is he okay?
- Of course.
He's such a charming horse, the
vet just likes having him
around.
You know everyone thinks you're
mad, riding Nugget to the
shops.
The word you're actually
looking for is "eccentric."
Well, Aunty Barb tells me
where he chooses to relieve
himself is the talk of the
town.
I don't know your Aunty Barb
as well as I should.
She, um... she never gets sick.
- She's the best.
- Of course.
She raised you.
When I came to town,
I think the only person
who made me feel welcome
was Lucy Vaughn.
She brought in a butter cake
on my first day.
She brought me scones.
Dr Penny Anderson,
change is hard for all of us,
especially in a country town.
You're a local treasure now.
So how did you do it?
I stayed.
Stay.
And won't be long
before there's a soccer field
named after you.
Or... maybe the potato race
track at the showground.
For the potato uprising.
Please don't retire.
Can't we run the surgery
together?
There's no way I'm hanging
around
while Joan learns
how to use booking software.
Yo, Nickhead.
Pen, Eddie's eaten
some of Mark's weed.
- Oh sh*t.
- sh*t?
N-no not necessarily sh*t,
sorry.
W... how much? How is he?
I think he's a bit
groggy.
Okay, I'll be, um, I'm on my
way.
I shouldn't have left him with
Mark.
Of course you should.
He's his father.
He's a real mess at the moment.
Can't find any work since he
got laid off, and he just...
he just doesn't know
what to do with himself.
Except smoke cones. That's one
thing.
How are you paying the rent?
I was doing more shifts at the
pub.
As well as running a salon
and looking after the kids.
Hello. Oh, he's looking good.
All right.
I don't want you worrying
about money.
I'm always worrying about money.
- I can help you with it.
- No!
- It's nothing to me.
- I said no.
When can we take him home?
Soon.
Flowers all grown
In the deadbeat sun
Flowers got cut
And the damage was done
You took it for granted
Went on the run
Flowers grew back
When the rain poured down
But now you've come back
To the paddock
Waltzed through a gate
That I thought I'd shut
There are reasons to be
And reasons to go
I'm gonna tell myself that
Good things will come
Good things will come
Couldn't get to sleep
Memories uncut
How the time has passed
And all the people I loved
You've lived the same
Amount of minutes
As I have too
Flowers grew overwhelmingly
Without you
But now you've come back
To the paddock
Waltzed through a gate that
I thought I'd shut...
-Donate for potato race
equality? -No, thanks.
-Donate for potato race
equality. -No, not today.
- Hi.
- Hey!
Donate for potato race equality?
- No.
- No thanks.
Good things will come
Good things will come
Why force it, control it?
The light goes where it
wants
Why force it, control it?
The light goes where it
wants
Why force it, control it?
The light goes where it
wants
Hey. Good girl.
I'm glad things are
working out for you, Mabes.
Aw.
It's an Airbnb, Elliot.
Someone does it for the owner.
I'm the someone, Aunty Pen.
You're old enough for coffee,
aren't you?
- Old enough to, ah, take it
black. -
How's school?
It's okay.
I've been asking how's school
and you've been saying
"it's okay" for 12 years.
How are we going to communicate
when I finish that final exam?
What are you going to do
when you finish?
Mum and Dad
think it's stupid.
That I'll never earn a living.
Oh, well, they just
want you to be safe.
Aunties, on the other hand,
want you to enjoy things.
I'd like to write music
for movies and TV and stuff.
So how do you do that?
Well, there's a composition
course in Sydney,
but even getting the audition
is...
Okay, well, you get yourself
the audition
and I'll help you with the rest.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Well, is there anything else
you need done around the house?
Can I see your rate
sheet?
Mum says that helping each
other is part of what it is to
be in a family.
Mmm, wish she felt that way
about the potato race.
You need to up your game with
that.
I don't know how I can do
anything more.
Yeah, something simple.
Like, just write that down to do.
- Aunty Pen, meet Miriam.
- Hi.
Hi. You're Rania's daughter,
aren't you?
We need to set up a GoFundMe
page.
Right. I'm going to need you
to get me the following.
Photos of you.
Photos of the potato race.
Maybe of your mum.
Old photos of Appleton.
-There's a bunch of those
inside. -Great.
Get your phone,
take photos of the photos,
and Airdrop them to me.
-Okay.-I'll dig through the
family Facebook
- and find some of Mum racing.
- Let's get to work.
Hi, I'm Elliot.
I just turned 18,
and I live in Appleton.
We had our town's biggest
moment before I was born
when we were the 1992 Tidy Town.
This is my mum.
She's the Appleton
Ladies' Potato Race champion.
This is my Aunty Penny.
She's the local doc,
and she wants to change
the prize money so it's equal.
And we're live.
Can I see?
- I just sent you a link.
- Oh.
- Should be...
- Yeah, you sent it.
Okay. Great.
Hi, I'm Elliot.
I just turned 18
and I live in Appleton...
That is very cute.
...biggest moment before I was
born when we were the 1992
Tidy Town...
- We tried.
- Facebook as well.
This is my mum.
She's the Appleton
Ladies' Potato Race champion.
Look at her. Isn't she awesome?
Here's the thing.
The men's race gets $2,000
and the women's race only gets
What?
Let's do it.
Let's raise the money.
Oh, look, we've got someone
already.
- That's awesome.
- Oh my gosh.
- Aw, 20 bucks.
- I've got someone here too.
- Oh.
- Oh, look, we got another one.
- Oh my gosh. It's happening.
- Yeah.
Mum! Mum!
Yeah? I'm busy.
Where's your potato sack?
- It's in the boot. Why?
- Can you get it for me?
What? Why?
What are you doing?
Training.
Mark?
You having your dinner in your
room?
Nah, Mum. I'm coming out.
Righto.
Hey. Watch it. Geez.
Ah, thanks, Mum. This looks
great.
"Thanks, Mum.
This looks great."
- Beer?
- Thanks, Mum.
"Thanks, Mum."
Hey, I think it's a bloody shame
what Penny's trying to do
to you and this race, Mum.
Don't you think, Mark?
Shut up.
Good chops. Love your chops,
Mum.
"Good chops.
Love your chops, Mum."
Hello?
Is that Dr Anderson?
Who's this?
It's Luke Pearce.
She's about to have the baby.
She can't move. Can you come
here?
Oh, right.
Yeah, no, I'll be, um, ten
minutes.
I'll be five minutes. Five, if
I can.
Yep. Okay.
- Let's get you to the hospital.
- There's no time.
Get a look under there.
Kazzy, can you move to the
bed? - Mummy's all right.
I can't move a muscle
out of this position.
Okay, Luke. You have to help.
- Help me get Kazzy to the bed.
- Yeah.
Come on, babes.
You can do it.
Just up here. Almost there.
I'm right here, babes.
- I'll be just over here.
- Up, up, up, up.
You can do this.
We're here for you.
All right, I reckon you got
one or two more pushes.
Geez, you reckon?
When the next surge comes,
I want you to give it
everything, okay?
I... forgot...
how... much... this...
...hurts.
Well done. You did it, Kazzy.
You've got a beautiful healthy
baby.
Good job.
It's a girl.
Hi.
Hello, little one.
What's...
What's Penny short for?
Penelope.
Nah, that's rank.
Let's call her
Jasmine?
We can call her Jazzy,
'cause it rhymes with Kazzy.
- It's cute, hey?
- That is so cute, babes.
Oi, don't forget to pack
me support pants, Penelope.
We've got a race in two weeks.
Absolutely.
Come on, girls.
Stop being a pair of soft cocks
and come and meet your baby
sister.
Here. Come on. Look.
Yeah? Come on.
Say hello to your sisters.
Say hello to your little family.
Just ten
days until the show now.
The potato racers are going to
be stepping up their
training
to make sure they've still got
it,
and, of course, the question
on everybody's lips
is who will win this year's
championship.
- It's that time of year
again... -
Elliot, I need to go.
Coming.
What's up, Eddie?
Mum, can I come to training?
I need to go right now.
Great, I'll put these in the
cupb...
Sorry.
Fucks sake!
Sorry.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Sharon.
How's your broken finger?
I was expecting to see you last
week.
Yeah, well, you won't be seeing
me again any time soon.
Why?
Don't need your politics
shoved in me face.
You know,
doctors shouldn't be political.
Like school teachers and the
ABC.
Thanks, Sharon.
See you next time.
I hear someone wonderful
brought a baby into the world
in a tiny caravan last night.
Uncle Bob, I've made a big
mistake.
No one wants this, and I've
just...
I've upset everyone.
Maria, can you
take over here, please?
Sure, Bob.
Come on, darling.
Love, since you've been doing
this,
I've been doing a bit of
research with your Aunty Barb
about pay in women's sport.
You all get the rough end
of the pineapple for sure.
It's not good enough in footy
and it's not good enough in the
Appleton Ladies' Potato Race.
I just did it for Nikki and
Kazzy...
I know, love.
And now Nikki's
hardly even talking to me.
She hates me.
She could never hate you.
Yeah, she could.
Potato racing is a big deal
in the hearts of
a lot of Appleton women.
I know! I'm married to one.
You keep going, love.
I'm proud of you.
Popular girl.
It's probably just council
again complaining about the
posters.
Uncle Bob, look.
Oh my God.
Wow.
Mabes!
Mabes. Look.
Look at all these donations.
Look.
Hey.
We are up to 15 hundred dollars.
Check that out.
TikTok numbers: 1.3 million
views, 900 K likes, 100 K
comments.
What are people saying?
Never read the comments.
- Why not?
- Because they're usually awful.
- Oh.
- GoFundMe, we've made $10,000.
- Whoa!
- It's going up really quickly.
Wow. We could make 20 grand.
But we only need to make it
equal.
What would we do with more than
that?
Make it the world's richest
potato race for women.
Show this town that even if
they don't care about equality,
the rest of the world does.
But I only meant and said
on the GoFundMe
this year's race.
So, let's...
cut it off.
Cut it off.
Good.
A small town in regional
New South Wales
is getting a roasting
as a local woman fundraises
to make their potato race equal.
I just thought it was unfair
that the men's race gets $2,000
and the women's race gets 200.
Donations have poured in
from around Australia
and the world,
but some in town are spitting
chips.
The men's and the women's
race just aren't the same.
Okay? We don't need this sh*t.
Yep. Too right.
Donations
have poured in from all...
G'day! Billy Hindmarsh with
you from Appleton FM.
Five days to go to the show,
and let me tell you,
I'm hearing the competition's
really hotting up
for the ladies' race.
All this media attention has
fired up people from all
over...
Hello, Appleton Supermarket.
Barb speaking.
Is this Barb Brickner?
Barb Brickner, yes.
Would you like to make a
comment about the potato
race?
No, I don't have a comment
about the race.
Well, we were just
thinking...
Thank you.
Are you on the Facebook?
Facebook, Joan.
We can't have you
sounding old-fashioned.
I am bloody old-fashioned.
Have you got the Facebook?
Of course. What is it?
Bring up the Appleton Community
Page.
Apparently, it's kicking off
all over the Facebook.
Bloody Penny.
What is it?
Kylie Pearce has written,
"That B-I-T-C-H should
stick to pap smears
and let the locals do
the potato races."
And look what your
Gavin's saying about my Penny.
Gavin?
Who's Ainslie Parker?
I don't know
any bloody Ainslie Parker.
Mark said there were trolls
on that page.
Maybe she's a troll?
This one says he's going to
find us,
clock us to death with potatoes,
and chuck us over the falls
in the sacks.
Christ. What are we going to do?
We'll have to call an
extraordinary general meeting.
Penny's raised a lot of money.
Too much, apparently.
So what?
She shouldn't be rewarded for
that. For breaking the rules.
Well, she has,
and we can't just ignore it.
Righto. Extraordinary general
meeting tomorrow night.
Can't be tomorrow. Everyone
will be at Nikki's fortieth.
Can't be Sunday. Heritage
Tomato Club are in the hall.
Well, it'll just have to be
Friday.
- The day before the race.
- Righto.
Put a notice on the Facebook.
Yes, Barb speaking.
Hi, Barb, this is Gail
from the Southern Daily.
No, we don't have a comment
to make at the moment.
Oh no, I understand. But
we're just putting together a
story...
No, I don't want to be
part of the story.
Yes, well, surely,
it's a community issue.
Thank you. Bye.
- Time.
- Um...
Two minutes 50?
Give it to me. It can't be.
I'm sorry, Mum. I dropped it.
- Ethan, for f*ck's sake.
- Sorry.
Why can't you do anything
properly?
All right, let's go, girls.
Not too late to b*at them girls.
Piss off, Gavin.
A lot of money at stake now,
so I'm hearing.
I'm not going to dirty race.
You Andersons and your dirty
racing.
There's nothing dirty
about having a strategy.
I'm not into a strategy
that hurts other potato racers.
I want to win fair and square.
Ready. Set. Go.
Against them?
Good luck, Nicola.
This is so much heavier
than I thought it would be.
A thousand bucks of your
winnings and I'll make sure
that you'll win.
I said piss off, Gavin.
It's 7:45, love.
I'm going to head off to the
shop.
Do you think you can manage
without me today?
I think so, Barbie.
You think you'll be all right
for Nikki's party later?
Oh, I'm sure.
You rest up, love.
- Another one?
- No, I'm all right.
- Come on.
- I can't.
- Soda water.
- Yeah.
- Cher from Clueless.
- Bingo.
- Woo.
- You girls
all look absolutely
fan-bloody-tastic.
And you are...?
I'm Dennis Lillee, the greatest
test cricket fast bowler of all
time.
Dennis Lillee?
Christ Almighty, Uncle Bob.
How old do you think I am?
Okay, he retired
from test cricket in 1984,
but his legend lives on.
Nikki!
Oh my God! Mermaid! I love it.
Happy birthday, Nikki.
What, we're both Madonna? So
good.
Let's dance, Nikki. I love this
song.
Your hair.
Born to be queen
Conquering everything
So, boys, bow down to me
Bow down to me
Like royalty
The crown fits perfectly
Call me "Your Majesty"
'Cause I was born to be
queen
Oh. This.
Oh, yeah
Set the wheels in motion
And watch them turning round
I want to sail
Across the ocean...
Don't you remember this part?
I've grown weary of this
town
Take the pressure down
'Cause I can feel it
It's rising like a storm
Take hold of the wheels
And turn them around
Take the pressure down
Yes.
In this city full of danger
We lead our separate lives
Come on.
And I was frightened
By a stranger
With desperation in her eyes
Wake me up after
the sunset...
Yeah. That's cool, huh?
It's not like any of these
trolls
actually come to my house
or anything.
It's all what Bob calls
keyboard warriors.
When are you going to
go back to work?
Bob actually prefers it there
by himself.
Nikki. Nikki!
There you are.
- Are you having a good time?
- Having a great time.
Good. Here's your present.
How much did this cost?
It's your fortieth.
Yeah, but I buy myself
a ticket to a musical
with my potato race money.
Well, now you don't have to,
and you can take someone
and stay in a nice hotel.
That one's just around the
corner from the theatre.
Why didn't you just
put the money that this was
into the potato race, and we
could just stop all the drama?
Ugh, you're such a dickhead.
- What? I'm the dickhead?
- Yes, you are.
You are the dickhead.
It's not fair that you work
harder than everyone else in
this town
to just scrape by.
I wanted the prize money to be
equal so you would have some
more money.
I don't need your money.
I don't need you
putting 50 bucks in my wallet
every time you come over.
I don't need you buying my kids
expensive presents
or, or, or putting rent
into my bank account.
I need you to f*ck off
and leave me alone.
And I'm sorry that I had three
kids and that you couldn't have
any,
I'm sorry that your life
has fallen apart in the city,
and I'm sorry I married
your boyfriend.
But he's turned out to be
a drunk anyway,
so I guess you won that one too.
Yeah, don't blame me
for the shitty decisions
that you've made with your life.
Oh, now it comes out.
Don't blame me
because you were too scared
to leave this place
and have an actual life
and risk doing something
that you actually liked.
Like, you're a loser, Nikki,
and a dumb loser.
A loser who would sacrifice
getting some more money in a
potato race
so she doesn't beaten
by actual competition.
There you both are.
Come in for cake.
Happy birthday to
you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Nikki
Happy birthday to you
Hurray.
- Hip, hip...
- Hurray.
- Hip, hip...
- Hurray.
Speech.
No,
no, no, no. No, no. I'll be
right.
Let's eat cake.
Can I say something?
Um.
Happy birthday to my wife,
Nikki.
It was a surprise,
us building a life together,
but somehow we've done it.
Things were rough, mate,
I was doing odd jobs,
and this one day I get a call
to install some basins
at the hairdressers,
and, bugger me,
Nikki's there doing
her apprenticeship, and...
...sh*t bricks, somehow she'd
gotten even more beautiful from
school.
Aww.
She asked me if I was training
for the potato race.
Training became the highlight
of me week.
And then Ethan came along,
and...
And here's to Nikki.
Nikki!
I'm proud of the family
she's kept together.
Ethan with his apprenticeship.
Elliot going to Sydney for his
music.
Eddie surviving putting
the wrong thing in his mouth.
We're a lucky family.
And that's what counts.
Happy birthday, Nikki.
We all love you.
We love you Nikki.
Aunty Barb, can you take me
home?
Come on, love.
See you at home.
- Thank you. Good night.
- Night.
Come on.
You're officially bananas.
I like to ride down the road
in the middle of the night.
Feel the Appleton chill on my
face. Dream I'm a bushranger.
I think I'm going to go
back to Sydney.
You've had a rocky start.
No, I was cruel to my sister
tonight.
I was so cruel.
She probably deserved it.
No, she didn't.
And Aunty Barb's hardly
getting out of bed,
and I've got Joan starting
computer training after the
show
and it's already giving her
anxiety.
Like, actual anxiety.
Joan Bunyan, a person you know
thinks mental illness can be
cured
with an alarm clock
and a walk up the hill.
Like, I came back here
to be with my family...
All I've done is hurt them.
Come and pat Nugget.
I'm all right for now, thanks.
Pat Nugget.
It'll make you feel better.
I promise you.
See?
Yeah.
Patting Nugget is rather lovely.
I just don't deserve
to feel lovely right now.
You know, when Graham and I
first got here,
we decided we weren't going
to hide what we were,
even though Appleton is...
Appleton.
We lived here together,
we went on runs together,
joined the footy club together.
We even went in your beloved
potato race together.
Graham nearly b*at your Pop,
as it happens.
People couldn't stand us.
Thought we were flaunting
our lifestyle.
The surgery was pretty much
empty for the first six months.
It took time,
but people eventually got used
to us.
Then, they loved us
because we're so charming.
You'll be loved too
in exactly the same way
in a good 15 or 20 years.
What I'm saying, dear student,
is that people here need you.
And maybe you need them too.
Come on.
Off we go.
G'day! Billy Hindmarsh with
you from Appleton FM.
Well, tomorrow is the big day.
The one day of the year
we're all looking forward to,
the Appleton Show,
and, as expected, locals are
going to face tough
competition
from women all over the state.
This year's Appleton
Ladies' potato race...
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
All right, shh. Shush, everyone.
Be quiet, please. It's... shh.
It's 5:00 p.m.
I declare this
extraordinary general meeting
of the Appleton Show Committee
to order.
Present are Joan Bunyan,
president.
Barb Brickner, secretary.
Apology from Billy Pope,
committee member in charge
of entertainment.
Apology from Billy...
Never mind about them, Barb.
Those bastard Billies are never
here.
We are here to discuss
the Appleton Ladies' Potato
Race fundraising campaign
where $12,000 has been raised
without...
...without permission from
the Appleton Show Committee.
On the agenda to speak
are Gavin Bunyan...
...and Dr Penny Anderson.
Gavin!
Bloody ridiculous amount of
money,
even if it was for a sport that
women could do properly.
What?
No,
put the money into a kitty
and support this race
into its future.
After Saturday's race, at least
three of the boys will need
physio.
Pay for it.
Thank you.
This, this race kicked off
in the early 1900s
to celebrate the blokes...
Ooh, God forbid,
to celebrate the blokes
that did all the hard work.
They didn't, yeah,
they get the profit
from a good potato yield,
but they got the glory of
showing everyone how strong
they were.
How athletic they were.
And then...
and then someone, yeah,
comes along and tricks us
into letting the chicks run as
well?
And, and, hey,
and now, now, they want
the same prize money,
but they don't even do
the same amount of work.
It's bloody bullshit.
- Language!
- No.
The ladies' race,
I'll finish on this,
the ladies' race is a sideshow.
Don't waste good money on it.
Gavin Bunyan.
Go home! Boo!
- Penny?
- No, Joan!
I'd like to say something
in response to Gavin, please.
But your name isn't on the
agenda.
I just put it on the agenda.
Hello, everyone.
Barb Brickner nee Anderson here.
Fifth-generation potato racer.
I've always loved the race.
Something about the speed,
the strength, the potatoes.
Let's keep it moving, Barb.
30 years ago,
I got sick of watching my pop
and my dad
and my brothers do the race
so I got dressed up as a bloke
and I did the race myself.
Kev Bunyan got wise to me
just after the third turn.
I remember that.
He tried pulling me off.
But I kept going.
I showed everyone that a lady,
I mean, a woman,
can run the potato race.
Here's me winning
the inaugural Ladies' Potato
Race the following year.
But, I didn't have the guts
back then to ask for equal
prize money.
But I do now!
Do it, Joan.
We need to do it!
Righto, righto.
Penny, you're up.
After that,
we'll take a public vote on it.
I drive home past the footy
fields
where a whole heap of mums are
coaching kids playing soccer.
And I drive past the shops
where the women are buying
the dinner for the night
that they will probably
go home and cook.
After working all day and
feeding their kids at night,
a whole bunch of them
train for the potato race
as if it was the Sydney Marathon
or the Olympic
hundred-metre freestyle.
Yes.
And we dare to pay them
a fraction of the prize money
for running the exact same race,
the exact same distance,
on the exact same day
in
Front of the exact same crowd?
I don't think so.
It's the 21st century.
Come on.
Kazzy Pearce just had a baby
and she's running in it
on the weekend.
Look at that board up there.
Who's name is on it
more than anyone's?
My sister.
Nikki Anderson Bunyan.
Now, if she was a bloke,
her ten years of winning
would have bought her a new car.
So we need to make this
the richest potato race
on earth tomorrow
for the women to right a great
Appletonian historical wrong.
Ten thousand for the winner
and the rest divided
between the place-getters.
Let's show them that the
Appleton Ladies' Potato Race
is running into the future!
Everyone present is allowed a
vote.
Raise your hand
if you think the money should
not go
to the ladies' race on show day.
Raise your hand
if you think it should.
Tomorrow's Ladies'
Potato Race
will be the richest
in Appleton history.
She's gone and done it.
Well, it's a
beautiful day here in Appleton
after the usual foggy start.
We have the perfect day out
for you.
It's been a great
potato season this year,
particularly good for the
reds and the Dutch creams.
We're not far away from the
start of our annual potato
races,
and in the women's event,
will Nikki Bunyan keep her
crown?
Not long to go now.
Do you feel
The weather changing?
The clouds are getting heavy
They're holding you down
Holding you
Do you see the colours
fading
They seem less saturated
You're coming down
So good.
You're coming down
You're boring...
- Hey, Rania.
- Goat curry?
- Yep.
- Makes you run faster.
Sorry, sorry.
That's pouring through your
blood While you're dancing in
the crowd
Do you feel it?
Do you feel it?
All my friends are high
While I'm alone
In the coloured lights
Strangers overnight
I guess that candy
Just hit you right...
How are things
looking for the race?
Don't know if I feel like
telling you, you bloody
traitor.
- Filled up in half an hour.
- Terrific.
Nikki was right.
Every CrossFit bimbo
between Bowral and Boggabri.
Brisbane too, I reckon.
Many of the local girls?
Kazzy. Rania's daughter,
Miriam. Nikki, of course.
Is that those Billys up
there in the commentary box?
They haven't done
a bloody thing all year,
and now they sit up there like
they're Richie Benaud?
Not today. Not this race!
It needs to be a lady
in the box today.
A lady who knows all there is
to know about the potato race.
- No, Joan.
- It needs to be you, Barb.
Come on.
All my friends are high
While I'm alone
In the coloured lights...
Well, the stakes
certainly are high
for the girls this year
in the Appleton Ladies' Potato
Race there, Bill.
Well, the stakes are
always high, Bill,
in the Appleton Potato Race.
The men's race.
Yes, isn't that
the truth there, Bill?
And I tell you what,
I wouldn't mind winning ten Gs.
You might finally shout a round
of schooners there, Bill.
Yeah, righto.
I might do that. I might.
Get out.
Out.
Why?
Ugh! Bloody women.
We'll just check the bags,
then we're ready to go.
Yeah, I'm hitting, like,
around two minutes, usually.
-Excuse me, are you Nikki
Bunyan? -Yeah.
As in, ten-time champion of the
Appleton Ladies' Potato Race?
Yeah, that's me.
Oh my God, can I please get a
selfie?
Can I get one too?
- Please.
- Yes.
Oh, thank you. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
While the competitors
are making their way to the
track
for this year's Appleton
Ladies' Potato Race.
It's hard, mate, 'cause your
shoulders don't want to admit
it,
but your boobs are your best
friend in the potato race.
Think of them like talismans.
They're, like,
lighting the path to victory.
It's the mistake
everyone else makes.
They forget about the
importance of upright boobage.
Pow! Pow!
Oh! Did you get the Ns on the
back?
I didn't think you guys would
do that. Look at you all.
Yeah, just...
- Line up, girls.
- Everyone, line up.
- Here we are.
- Got to be careful.
- Good stuff.
- Where's Penny?
- She's over there.
- She's over there.
26. Get it? You ready?
Is she racing?
- Looks like it. Get out there.
- Go, Mum.
- All right. Thank you.
- Go get them, babe.
Go, Mum. Woo.
And now they're
loaded up with sacks,
heading to the starting line.
What are you doing?
Well, you're not a true local
until you run a potato race.
You don't have any training.
You will hurt yourself.
I'll be right. Go win that ten
grand.
Hi.
Hey. I'll do you, love.
Come here. I'll load you up.
There you go. I got hers. I got
hers.
You got that? All right.
Two seconds. Okay.
Smash it. There you go.
Good luck.
Should be good.
Bloody love the ladies' race.
On your marks.
Get set.
And they're off to a good start.
Nikki Bunyan out in front.
Just ahead of Kazzy Pearce.
Penny Anderson bringing up the
rear.
The rest standing nicely.
Nikki Bunyan's out in front!
Behind her, Miriam Hamid
and Kazzy Pearce.
Going well. Going well.
Something's...
Something's happened on the
track!
It's potatoes!
One down. Two down!
It's carnage!
Potato carnage!
But the race goes on.
Nikki Bunyan still in front.
Keep going. Miriam, keep going.
Nikki Bunyan stops.
Nikki goes back.
Miriam and Kazzy power on
ahead of the pack.
What are you doing?
- Get up!
- Piss off.
- Get up.
- It's ten grand!
- Get up.
- Get back to the race.
We're going to share your bag
across both our shoulders.
We are finishing this race.
Okay. You hold onto me, okay?
Oh, here she comes.
- You're such a dickhead.
- You're the dickhead.
They're about to cross
the finish line.
It's Miriam Hamid!
And she's done it!
Miriam Hamid takes it.
Miriam Hamid takes the race.
Oh!
The richest Ladies' Potato Race
in Appleton history.
Here they come.
Nikki and Penny
cross the line, last place.
Congratulations.
I'm so sorry that I
tripped
and I'm, I'm sorry that I
just...
I tried to take over
something that...
Don't be dumb. I am so sorry.
Look how wonderful this is.
It's like a real sport now.
It's the best thing ever, Pen.
Oh.
Oh, what is this?
Okay, you know the last in a
race gets a wooden spoon?
In a potato race, obviously,
it's a potato masher.
Thank you.
Gavin Bunyan, can you
please report to the marshals?
Gavin Bunyan.
And also, your mother
would like to speak to you.
You're in big trouble!
Pen.
Feel it falling off
Like clothing
Ethan! Come on!
Taste it rolling on your
tongue
Ethan!
See the lights above you
glowing
Oh, and breathe them
Deep into your lungs
It was always simple
Not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the
strings Playing puppeteer for
kings
And you've had enough
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally
clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know
that You control where you go
You can steer
So hold this feeling
Like a new-born
Of freedom surging
Through your veins
You have opened up a new
door
So bring on the wind
Fire, and rain
It was always simple
Not hidden hard
You've been played at a game
Called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally
clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know
that You control where you go
You can steer