04x07 - Playing the Ponies

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[IDLY HUMMING]

[SNAP]

Ooh! Ooh.

[HUMMING]

One chicken soup.

Chicken soup coming up.

Ah, chicken.

[HUMMING]

Chicken soup. Take it away.

Don't go away, now.

Hey, waiter.

What is this, pork or veal?

What did you order?

Veal.

Then it's veal.

[DOG GROWLING]

Say, waiter,

what's this dog
growling at me for?

Ah, don't mind him.

He's mad 'cause you're
eating out of his plate.

Oh.

Let me see.

The chicken soup,
tenderloin steak,

and coffee.

Is that all?

Uh-uh. Custard pie.

[THUMP] Ooh!

Oh.

Cash.

How did you enjoy your meal?

The soup was watery,
the steak was tough,

and the coffee
was just like mud.

Well, I'm glad you liked it.

Don't forget
to tell your friends.

Have an after-dinner mint.

Bah!

[RINGS]

I'm getting fed up

with this restaurant business.

All I hear are squawks.

And, you, eating up the profits.

Get back where you belong.

Oh, shut up. I don't have to.

Why don't we get out

of this restaurant
business, anyway?

Why don't catfish have kittens?

I wonder.

Enjoy your meal?

Well, I'm glad you liked it.

Don't forget to tell
your friends.

Uh, have a mint,
or, uh, some peanuts,

or some pepperinos.

MAN: Ah! Pepperinos!

[WHIMPERS]

[COUGHING]

I'm on fire.

Water.

W-w-water.

[GULPING]

[LAUGHING]

One baked mackerel.
Must be fresh.

One fresh mackerel coming up.

[REEL WHIRRING]

Ooh!

[WATER SPLASHING]

Ah. Mackerel.

Make that broiled mackerel
a filet of sole.

What do you think I am,
a magician?

[SPLASHES]

[REEL WHIRRING]

Whoo! Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop.

[WHOOPING]

[SPLASHING]

Ah. Filet of sole.

Hmm.

[HUMMING]

[SIZZLING]

I'll have a hot dog.

Nothing for me.

One bow-wow.

CURLY: One bow-wow, coming up.

[HUMMING]

Hey, get out of here.

Get out of here
and stay out of here.

Hey, waiter.

Yes, sir.

Never mind that hot dog.

Give me a couple
of eggs on toast.

Adam and Eve on a raft.

Scramble those eggs.

Wreck 'em.

Here, boy. Give me a paper.

That horse of mine lost again.

I'm gonna sell the dog.
He's all run out.

Only a sucker would
buy Thunderbolt.

Well, there's
one born every minute.

Look at this.

"Madcap wins
$ , sweepstakes."

So what?

Ten thousand dollars
for just winning a race.

That's the kind of game
we ought to be in.

You said it.

If we could find a sucker
who'd buy this place,

we could get us a horse.

I got an idea.

Hey, fellas.

Who won the big race?

Madcap.

Madcap?

And your horse Thunderbolt

beat him last week
for six lengths.

Why didn't you enter him?

Oh, uh, well,

I've made enough money
on Thunderbolt.

Besides, I want to sell him

and get into something quiet.

You know, uh,

like the restaurant business.

[WHISPERS] Oh, boy. A sucker.

Let me handle this.

Now, we might be
interested in your--

Hey, what's the idea
of making me

do all the work around here?

Be quiet. We're
talking business.

Oh.

Now, we might be interested

in your proposition.

Can your horse run fast?

Thunderbolt?
He's the fastest horse

on any track, wet or dry.

What's your proposition, gents?

Well, I'll take the restaurant

as a down payment
on Thunderbolt,

and you can give me
the balance if you win.

I mean, uh, when he wins.
MOE: It's a deal.

Ooh!

Oh! Ooh.

Hurry up.
Get in there and get dressed.

Right now! We're leaving.

Oh!

Well, gents,
here's your restaurant.

Where's the horse?

At the fairgrounds.
Stall number three.

You... You wouldn't
be taking anything

away with you, would you?

Uh-uh.

What have you got there?

Where? There!

Oh, that's a goiter.

You boys ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Oh! Ooh!

Get away.

Hmm.

MOE: Gentlemen, I'm mortified.

I'm at a loss for adjectives.

I want to apologize
for my two partners.

I didn't know I was connected
with common thieves.

[CURLY CHUCKLING]

[WHINNYING]

Look.

Thunderbolt.

This is the apartment.

Oh, what a piece of horseflesh,
boy.

Ha-ha. Am I proud of him.

Hey, look.

He must have slept
under a lumber pile.

Never mind the smart cracks.

What he needs is a workout.

Race him around the track.

Get busy. Come on.

Come on, Thunderbolt, old boy.
Come on, old boy.

And we got to time him, see.
Let's get the clock.

Wait a minute.

I put it in. I can get it out.

MOE: Well, you put it in.

Why don't you get it out?

[CLOCK RINGING]

How time flies.

Yeah.

Come on, you.

Come on. Let's get busy.

Hey, Curly, get the...

Where is that pudding head?

Come on.

What's the big idea?

You told me to race
him around the track,

and I did, and I beat him.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Why, you... Give him a rubdown.

Hmm. That's just what I need.

Start on this leg.

Ah, the other horse!

Aw, running makes me hungry.

I'm starved.

Oh, peanuts.

Hmm.

[WHINNYING]

What did you give that horse?

Just salted peanuts.

[MOANS]

He must be crazy.

Hmm.

[COUGHING]

[PANICKED WHOOPING]

[SLURPING]

What happened?

This chump
gave the horse hot peppers

instead of peanuts.

So that's what
made him run so fast.

Oh.

And you ate some too.

[LAUGHING]

[RASPING] Water. Water.

[CHUCKLING]

[GULPING]

It's kerosene!

[WHINNYING MOCKINGLY]

And the next race

is the $
Vincent County Sweepstakes.

Among the thoroughbreds
competing today

are Bandy Legs, Bride's Biscuit,

Muddy Water,
Turtleneck, Hail Storm,

and a last-minute entry,
Thunderbolt.

[CLUNK, MOE GRUNTS]

Hey, Larry. Oh, Larry!

Did you get the peppers?
And how.

All we got to do

is feed these hot peppers
to Thunderbolt

and the race is in the bag.

Where's Curly?

In there with Thunderbolt.

Come on.

[PLAYING FANFARE]

Come on, get on that horse.

It's time for the race.

Give me a hand.

Contact.

Upsa-daisy.

Ah! Oh!

Ouch!

Help. Oh! Ah!

Get it out.

Help.

Get it out.

Whoo.

Get it out.

[SHRIEKS]

Oh.

Get it out.

What's a matter with you guys?
Get on that horse.

Oh, I can't ride now.

Oh, getting tenderhearted, eh?

No, I can explain--

Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

[MOANING]

Pipe down.

You want to make Thunderbolt
and us nervous?

[PLAYING FANFARE]

Come on, the race is starting.

LARRY: Hey, hand me my whip.

[TOOTS]

[TOOTS] Whoop-whoop.

[LAUGHS]

[TOOTING]

[THUD]

[CROWD MURMURING]

Now, don't forget:

give him the peppers
after he gets going.

We'll show him the water.

Okay.

Get number six in line there.

[RINGS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Come on, Thunderbolt.

Hey, Larry! What?

You're going the wrong way!

Turn him around, chucklehead!

[SCREECHING]

The peppers!
Give him the peppers!

[WHINNYING]

Look. He won't run.

I wish we had
the restaurant back.

Show him the water!
He's burning up.

Look, Thunderbolt: water.

Look.

Hey, Moe. I dropped it.

New water, Thunderbolt.

Meet me over there.

Look, Thunderbolt.
The water. Come on.

[SCREECHING]

Hey, they passed us.

What do we do now?

We got to keep this water
ahead of him.

Come on, Thunderbolt.

Whoa!

I got an idea.
Take this. Get in there.

[ENGINE ROARING]

[CHEERING WILDLY]

[SCREECHING]

[WHOOPING]

What happened?

I stopped, but you didn't.

But we won! We won! We won!

BOTH: La-la-la-la-la!

[LOUD MUNCHING]

[♪]