[whimsical classical music]
I fell in love.
[makes g*nsh*t sound]
I heard him before I saw him.
[man] To be or not to be:
That is the question.
Whether it is nobler
in the mind
to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune
or to take arms against
a sea of troubles
and by opposing end them?
To die...
To sleep, no more.
Uh, to sleep more...
Um, um-- By a sleep to say
we end the heartache
and the thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to.
'Tis a consummation devoutly
to be wished.
To die, to sleep. To sleep.
Perchance to dream.
Ay, there's the rub,
for in that sleep of death
what dreams may--
-Oh, I'm sorry, I--
-I'm sorry, I was just, um--
I was rehearsing, I--
I-- I was just
looking for Room--
-[bell rings]
-Yeah, I think it's--
It's probably
down the corridor.
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
Now, blend it gently.
Ah, yes, lovely.
-You've got this.
-Mm-hmm.
[loud clacking]
Gently!
We must treat our ingredients
with love.
I am in desperate need
of a volunteer.
Uh, this is my class.
You can't just--
If I don't get one person
to transfer--
You know we get paid
by the number of students,
-you little sh*t--
-I will be forced
to cancel our class.
Please, someone, someone,
anyone, anyone?
-Does it involve cooking?
-There's no cooking.
[Ava] Sorry.
What-- What kind of a class
is it?
I should have asked,
but what could be more boring--
-It's a workshop.
-Ooh, work,
I like the sound of that.
-What kind of a workshop?
-Drama.
I hate drama.
[students chattering]
[chattering stops]
I found one.
Let's give a round of applause
to our savior!
Yeah!
[students whistle]
Classes will be three
evenings a week.
Oh, uh, well, you see,
I-- I can't.
That's too much, because I--
I know it's the same
as the cooking class.
Don't worry, we're-- we're not
even going to do a whole play.
We're just going to workshop
some scenes.
Work.
Yes, see that's where--
[Dylan] From Romeo and Juliet.
And you would be perfect
to play the part of the nur--
Wouldn't she be perfect
for the nurse?
It doesn't sound
like a compliment.
Sor--
I'm Dylan, by the way.
-What was your name?
-f*ck.
Eh? Oh, Ava.
-Ava.
-Ava.
You won't regret this, Ava.
Oh, thank you so much!
You-- You've made
all my dreams come true!
-Oh!
-Oh!
[clapping]
It's gonna be great.
Let's take a bow.
What the f*ck?
[whimsical music,
birds chirping]
Uh, I'm Simon.
I think we have
a scene together.
I, um, uh--
I-- I play the priest.
Uh-huh, nurse and priest.
I guess our Hamlet days
are behind us.
I feel like I--
This-- this was my wife's idea.
I-- I think she just wants me
out of the house more.
Yeah. Husband and daughter.
"Gourmet cooking,
you'll love it!"
All that stirring and for what?
A snack.
Ros insisted there
would be auditions.
I, uh-- I-- I-- I--
I played Hamlet at college.
I-- I still roughly remember
the big bits
from my brief moment
of triumph.
At least you had one--
triumphant moment.
Well, I guess we can't really
drop out now, can we?
All those disappointed kiddies?
At least we're
needed for something.
So, um, well, I guess I'll see
you on Wednesday.
Yeah. Yes. I-- see you.
You spend
those early years of marriage
wondering if it'll take.
You know, will he meet someone
else, so irresistible,
sexy, and fun, or wise
and warm, that...
hot Earth mother that they all
seem to long for.
But you make it through
the rapids, you relax.
You see the finish
line and then boom!
[scoffs]
A woman no better than me.
It's like being run over by
a tricycle and left for dead.
[whimsical music]
Ah!
sh*t!
Get off!
You little f*ck! Come here!
-[glass shattering]
-Ah! Oh...
Oops.
[grunting]
[screaming]
Oh, hi. How'd it go?
No auditions.
Hardly anyone turned up.
Well, great,
so you got in, then.
It was probably a mistake.
Well, don't quit.
I am just loving
my pottery class.
What do you think
of my first assignment?
Look crooked?
Maybe a touch?
Well, you know what they say.
If something's worth doing,
it's worth doing proudly.
Hey, I'm sure you will
enjoy your drama class
once you get into it.
What is it?
Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, that's a k*ller.
-What'd you get?
-Uh, I'm playing the priest.
Oh, aren't you a lucky boy.
I got to, uh--
I got to go read the play.
-Romeo and Juliet.
-Mm-hmm.
Would've thought you'd be
reading a cookbook.
Do people
read cookbooks for fun?
I'm-- Is that a real thing?
Well, if they
want to cook, yeah.
Um... about the cooking
course...
Mm-hmm.
I might...
... stop.
Ava, we did talk about this.
-Oh, didn't we?
-[Matthew sighing]
Look, I know the job
situation isn't fair.
Fair?
They ripped the life
out from under me.
Change is hard at first.
-Oh...
-But then you learn to adjust.
We're doing a lot
better than most people.
My job's going great.
We have to
cut back on a few things.
Vacations. Might
have to move into a condo.
But now that Deborah's
all grown up and married,
-we're going to be fine.
-It's not just about the money.
How would you feel if you lost
your job and your career?
Well, not great,
obviously, but I try
to look at the bright side.
Look at all the new
things opening up for you.
Hobbies,
afternoon naps, new friends.
Soon you'll be going
out for coffee
with the gals
and trading cookie recipes.
Don't quit this class, Ava.
Plus, I was looking forward
to having an actual meal.
Ha.
-Well, good night.
-Uh, night.
[whispering] Thank you.
[sighing]
[doorbell rings]
[thumping on door]
[doorbell
and thumping continue]
[Debra] Mom?
Mom?
Mom. Mom.
We could have been m*rder*d.
They took everything,
even our phones.
We had to go next
door to call the cops.
[Ava] Oh, my God. Sit down,
sit down. Sit. Sit.
We were asleep in
the next room when it happened.
I got up to pee and I was like,
"Where's our TV?"
They-- They-- They were robbed.
-While we were sleeping!
-Oh, darling.
This is the last time I live
in an affordable neighborhood.
Is it okay if we stay
here for a few days?
Yes, of course it is.
You call
the insurance company yet?
-Insurance?
-Oh, I feel faint.
Are there any nice treats
from your gourmet
cooking class?
Oh, that sounds yummy.
Oh, um, no. Oh, toast!
I'll make
something like that...
You're about to become a father
and you don't have insurance?
But on the bright side,
we could be dead.
And enter.
If I profane with my...
... unworthiest hand...
... the-- the holy shrine,
the gentle sin is this.
My lips,
two blushing pilgrims, do stand
ready to smooth that rough
touch with a tender kiss.
Uh, good pilgrim. You do wrong
your hand too much.
Which mannerly
devotion shows is this?
For saints have hands.
Pilgrims' hands do touch.
And palm to palm
is holy palmer's kiss.
-Okay, stop, stop. Stop.
-What?
They just-- They don't need
to be quite so close together.
Well, I think they would be.
Yeah, I think so too, man.
-Totally.
-Yeah. Well, it's called
blocking and the director
is in charge of it.
So, uh, we're going to
need a lot more distance.
I-- I don't think so.
It's more powerful
if the passion is implied.
But-- But I can't feel
the passion from,
like, right here.
You know, like... Well,
here, I definitely feel it.
Yeah, yeah, I can feel it, too.
That's great. Okay, well,
we're just going to take five,
everyone. Tom, you can review
the material over there,
real quick.
And, um, just have a word--
[low voice] What are you doing?
You are my girlfriend.
[Michelle] You said
that wasn't why I got the part.
[Dylan] Well, it's not,
but you were all over him.
[Michelle]
Uh, it's called acting.
[louder] Well, it didn't
look like acting to me.
Which means it was good acting.
Come on, Juliet is not a sl*t.
Well, I mean, she kinda is.
She kisses him, like,
the minute she meets him.
What are you talking about?
She's 13 and smitten.
Okay? You know what?
Maybe I nee--
Maybe I need someone younger,
someone--
You can't have a 13-year-old.
-You'd be arrested.
-Well, okay, fine.
Then maybe
I need someone older,
someone
who's not gonna be...
Yeah, that's it.
Yes. I need to totally
re-conceive the whole play.
That is what people
do with Shakespeare!
Audiences don't want
the same old, same old.
Then Shakespeare
gets all the credit.
I should be getting the credit.
I'm the artist here.
-You.
-[Simon snores]
And you. Hi. Guys.
-[claps]
-[Simon snores]
-Hello?
-[Dylan claps]
Hi.
Yes. You are my new
Romeo and Juliet.
-[Michelle and Tom] What?
-Yeah! Come on.
It's original.
It's unexpected.
It's hilarious. It's comedy
-[whispering indistinctly]
-and tragedy coming together.
I mean, what could
be better than that?
We're living
in a post-genre world, right?
Okay, uh, Tom, take a seat.
Thanks.
You guys do the same
passage as Michelle and Tom
were just doing.
Let's go.
Come on.
Where Romeo
and Juliet first meet.
Uh, top of page 80.
[Simon clears his throat]
-Ready?
-Yeah.
If I profane
with my unworthiest hand
this holy shrine,
the gentle sin is this:
My lips,
two blushing pilgrims.
Ready stand
to smooth that rough touch--
-I--
-with a tender kiss.
Look, I-- I don't-- so-- sorry.
-I don't remember being young.
-It's fine. Just read it.
Come on, how hard is that?
Guys, am I the only one
trying here?
[Michelle laughs]
Okay. Um...
-[whispering] What?
-Good pilgrim.
Okay, good pilgrim.
Good pilgrim.
Good pilgrim.
[normal volume] Good pilgrim.
[Ava chuckles]
Good pilgrim, you do wrong
your hand too much.
Which mannerly devotion
shows in this.
[clears throat]
For saints have hands
that pilgrims' hands do touch.
And palm to palm
is holy palmers' kiss.
Now touch hands.
Have not saints lips,
and holy palmers, too?
Ay, pilgrim. Lips
that they must use in prayer.
O, then, dear saint,
let lips do what hands do.
They pray. Grant thou,
lest faith turn to despair.
Saints do not move,
though grant, for prayers.
Are we-- Okay.
Saints do not move,
though grant for prayers' sa--
Should I-- Am I...
Do you want me to--
Just don't stop
until I tell you.
-Uh...
-Are we--
Then move not while
my prayers' effect I take.
[Ava giggles]
Thus... Uh, thus from my lips
by yours, my sin is purged.
Then-- Oh.
Well, then--
then have my lips--
-[both giggling]
-the sin that they have took.
-A sin from my lips--
-[both giggling]
-O trespass sweetly urged.
-[quietly] This is weird.
-Give me my sin again.
-Again?
-I--
-What is--
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop,
stop, guys. No, no, no.
We're-- We don't
kiss at the first rehearsal.
Does everyone hear me?
No making out at this stage.
We are not sponsored by Tinder.
-I'm sor--
-I didn't know what to do.
I am sorry. I didn't ask.
I just, I mean--
It's nothing.
It was-- It was a kiss, a peck.
I-- You told me not to...
-Oh, my God.
-It's-- It's nothing. It's--
I'm not that guy.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
It's-- It's all right.
We're grownups, right?
-[Ava laughing]
-Well, last I heard.
[Dylan] You two, uh...
Are all wrong for this.
We are very wrong.
You have chemistry?
-Oh, f*ck no. No. No, no--
-No, we don't. We don't. We--
[Dylan] No.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
I-- I-- I really think...
[sighing]
... I can make this work.
-f*ck you.
-I have to put my art first.
[inhaling]
[whimsical music]
Ava?
-Hi, it's, uh, Simon.
-Oh! Oh, hi.
-I-- I-- Sorry, I was just--
-Shopping.
Look, um, I should apologize
again for what happened
last class. I--
No. It's nothing.
-It-- I'm--
-Really, really. It's nothing.
I-- I-- I'd-- I'd better--
No, me too, right?
Life, right?
Always in a rush and, um...
Yeah, well, now that I'm
no longer working...
Well, I'm--
I'm still gainfully employed.
Cutbacks, they-- they pushed
a bunch of us out of the door.
I think the average
age there now is 12.
Maybe it's nice, you know?
-A chance to relax.
-I love my job.
Ah.
I miss it.
And my husband and my daughter,
they-- they
want me to cook now.
Before, Matthew
did most of it.
That's my husband. But, well,
now that I'm home all the time,
it's-- it's only fair, right?
-What do you do?
-Medical research.
I have a Ph.D.
in microbiology.
Incredible.
I thought I was gonna cure
cancer, but I didn't. So...
Whatever I was going to do
in life, it's-- it's done now,
forevermore, apparently.
You know this, um--
this cooking thing?
If I buy restaurant
food and pretend I cooked
it myself,
would that make me a--
would that make me
a bad person?
-Brilliant.
-It's just to get them
off my back, you know,
-in the short term.
-It'll be our secret.
-[both chuckling]
-Well, then. Bye.
Bye.
And you-- you're--
you're quite good at acting.
You're-- You're really good.
Oh. Well.
Oh, thank you.
It's a shame
your moment of triumph
didn't last
longer than a minute.
I did enjoy it. I--
It's just acting isn't
for real people and...
Like us.
Ah, well, so many things
weren't in the end.
-What did you do instead?
-I'm a geologist.
Uh, I thought I'd be
out in the wilds but I sit
at a desk running
computer simulations.
Well, at least
you still have a purpose.
Oh, I'm just counting
down the days 'til
-I can have your life.
-Oh!
[both laugh]
I guess I'll see you in class.
You-- You were
going this way, right?
Can I-- Mind if I walk
with you?
Yeah, sure. We can...
I-- I should
apologize again, I--
No. It's-- It's-- No.
-Forget that.
-Yeah.
[Debra] Oh, my God.
That is
quite the cooking course.
I can't believe
you made this, Mom.
-Okay. Here we go.
-Thanks.
[Matthew] The other day, I saw
your mother fixing a vase.
[Debra] Wow.
She's really settling
into her new life.
Sure is.
Jigsaw puzzles.
My mom does
jigsaw puzzles, loves them.
Oh.
[Debra] Look at all
pluses to you not working.
Sorry, I have a headache.
I think she's starting
to adjust.
-Right.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-All right, well.
-Let's dig in, shall we?
-[Debra] Okay. Yeah.
You think staying with one
person your whole life is easy?
Marriage isn't for sissies.
Marriage is m*therf*cking hard.
Lesson number one.
You want to stay married?
Don't let yourself fall
in love with someone else.
[whimsical music]
[students yelling
passionately]
[student 1] Do you bite
your thumb at me, sir?
[student 2] I do bite my thumb!
[Dylan] Intensity.
Good intensity.
Go back at her. Don't let
her get the upper hand.
Switch hands. Switch hands.
[swords clanging]
Good, good. Great job.
There you go.
Avenge him, avenge him.
[Simon chuckling fades out]
Was I happy?
Sometimes. Yeah.
And that's
what love does, right?
It tricks you into
thinking you're happy.
There are lots of ways
of being miserable.
There's only one way
of being comfortable,
and that is to stop
running around after happiness.
"If you make up your mind
not to be happy,
there's no reason
why you shouldn't have
a fairly good time."
Edith Wharton.
Words to live by.
O, wilt thou
leave me so unsatisfied?
What satisfaction
canst thou have tonight?
The exchange of thy
love's faithful vow for mine.
I gave thee mine
before thou didst request it,
and yet I would
it were to give again.
What? Wouldst thou withdraw it?
For what purpose, love?
But to be frank and, um,
give it thee again.
And yet I wish
but for the thing I have.
My bounty is as boundless
as the sea, my love as deep.
The more I give to thee,
the more I have,
for both are infinite.
You... are amazing.
Have you been
on the stage before?
He had a triumph as Hamlet
in his [indistinct] days.
-Oh, thank you.
-[Ava laughing]
Well, I want you both to
rehearse as much as you can,
all right? And together.
I want to see the sparks.
The audience'll love it.
The audience? Yeah.
We put on
a little show at the end.
Invite our friends and family.
[excited chattering]
It'll be a night
to remember, yeah!
That's amazing!
[bell rings]
[Dylan] Okay,
that's it for today.
-Let's pack up.
-[chatter continues]
Great job.
Great job. Great job.
[student] Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Wonderful job,
wonderful job. Looking good.
Uh, maybe we should run
lines if we-- if we're actually
gonna be seen in public. Ouch.
-Uh--
-That... We are the stars.
Heavy lies
the head that wears the crown.
Uh, let me give you my number.
And, uh,
if you have time, text me.
I'll-- I'll give you mine,
but will it make
much difference?
Well, it'd it be
nice to be a little less...
Uh, a little
less horrible or otherwise.
Ha ha! An achievable goal?
God, I could use one of those.
Uh, where's my bag?
[sighs heavily]
Okay. So, as I mentioned,
Jeremy and I have something
to discuss with you.
-All right.
-Let's hear it.
Um, what if the two
of us stay here until
we save enough for a down
payment on our own home?
Oh.
-I love that plan.
-You do?
We-- we'll save so much faster
if we're not paying rent.
And-- And Debra can go right
back to work because Ava will
be looking after the baby.
She's here alone all the time
anyway and doing nothing, so...
Yes! She's always
complaining how bored she is.
She'll have the baby to keep
her company.
Mm, and cooking.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We don't
want to stop the cooking.
-Mm-hmm.
-But less time for Jigsaw.
Nothing would make me happier.
My baby will be safe with me,
and my baby's baby.
Thank you.
I'm referring to my grandchild.
Oh.
[notification sounds]
-No.
-[notification sounds]
-I think that's you.
-Oh, that's me.
Yeah.
Oh, sh*t.
-Easy.
-That's just me.
Okay.
No one except us texts
you since you stopped working.
That is true.
What is it?
Uh, just someone from...
It's just someone
from the class.
I, um-- I'll just go and, um,
make a cup of tea.
-Oh, cookies, please, Mom.
-Me, too.
-Just tea, thank you.
-Maybe a sandwich, too?
Oh, that sounds good.
Maybe I'll
have a sandwich, too.
-Toasted, please.
-Yes, toasted.
[whispering]
She's making friends.
[pensive classical music]
[panting]
[breathing raggedly]
-Mom?
-[nervously] Hi.
Oh, hi. Hello.
What were you doing?
Nothing.
That-- That doesn't look
like nothing.
[Ava clearing throat]
Okay, enough games.
It's pretty obvious
what's going on here.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
You have a lump
in your breast.
No. I-- I-- I mean,
I-- I-- obviously, I check.
I-- then, I-- but-- I'm being
prudent, obviously.
But... all,
I suppose, lump-free.
-[notification sounds]
-That's me.
And your nerves are terrible.
[chuckles softly]
Aren't you going to
check the text you just got?
Yes, yes, I will.
And you're
really out of breath,
even though
you were just lying down.
And you're flushed.
Do you have a fever?
No, I'm-- All good.
Oh, lovely. Yes, all good.
Yay, healthy. Oh, God.
What the f*ck?
[birds chirping]
Well, I suppose
there's no chance of a new job.
Realistically speaking,
as a female fired at my age,
I could possibly get
hired as a greeter at Wal-Mart.
[both laughing]
Well-- well, I know it
wouldn't help with the bills,
but I assume you've
thought of volunteer work?
Mm...
I should, but, you know,
living so far away
from Toronto
in this small city, it's...
No, I should, I should,
but... it's not
where my strengths lie.
I'm good
at driving a research team
and analyzing data,
not at hand-holding.
Good pilgrim, you do
wrong your hand too much.
Hang on,
that's a Juliet line, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
-Oh, sh*t, what's next?
-Which--
-Shut up, no, wait.
-Which--
No! Let me do it. Um.
Yes. Which mannerly devotion
shows in this, for saints have
hands that pilgrims'
hands do touch and palm--
-Yeah.
-Yes.
And palm to palm
is holy palmers' kiss.
Have not saints lips,
and holy palmers, too?
-Yes.
-[both laugh]
True.
Yeah. Ay, pilgrim, lips
that they must use in prayer.
O, then, dear saint...
-Uh, oh, no, no, no...
-It's contagious.
Let-- No. Let lips...
-[sighs]
Let lips do what hands do.
Uh... they pray.
Grant thou,
lest faith turn to despair.
Saints do not move,
though grant for prayers' sake.
Then move not, while
my prayers' effect I take.
-Mm-- No. No. no, no--
-I--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This-- No, it's--
-This is so wrong.
-I--
It's wrong.
[Ava muttering quietly]
[whimsical music]
[exhaling]
My sister called.
She wants us to come visit.
Well, she doesn't really
want us to come visit.
She wants
to say that she invited us.
She knows I can't
spend more than ten minutes
with that idiot she married.
So, anyway,
I couldn't think of an excuse.
So, there was just this awful
silence that went on and on.
And on. Hello?
Earth to husband. Hello!
I think
I'm going to go for a walk.
We never go for walks.
Won't be long.
Well, thanks
for inviting me along.
[door shuts]
Sieve the tomatoes.
I don't know how you sieve
a tomato.
Sieve the tomato.
Oh, sh*t, on--
Yes. Oh!
[glass shatters]
[Simon muttering quietly]]
[doorbell rings]
Oh, I, uh, I'm-- I'm cooking.
The stove is...
I-- I-- I ju-- I-- I just
wanted a brief word--
You're cooking?
It's, uh, well, um.
-Ah! Sorry.
-I-- so, I-- I just wanted to--
That's-- that's way too high.
Uh, and you--
you need some water.
-Do you know how to cook?
-Yes.
How do you not die of boredom?
I just wanted to say,
what I did today in the park
was completely out of line.
No, no, no. It was my fault,
too,
because I knew
what those lines led to.
-Is there a lid?
-A lid?
Yes. Somewhere. Uh, lid!
You know, I can never
go back to class now.
Look,
we were only rehearsing.
-That was not a rehearsal kiss.
-Okay. Thank you.
No, it wasn't. But I will
never again. I-- I-- I promise.
I would
just like us to be friends.
And that is all. You know,
I'm-- I'm married, too.
I-- I-- I can't believe we're
having this conversation.
You have to leave.
No, no, no, no.
What-- What if one
of my family members came in?
What would I say?
You know, we can't end things
like this. Mm.
You need to add the spices now.
Oh, spices? sh*t!
What the f*ck
is fenugreek? Here.
[door shuts]
-[both whispering] Oh, my God.
-Someone's here.
You were right.
Is there a back door?
French doors, French doors,
back, back, back.
-Wait, wait!
-What?
We-- We're
not doing anything wrong.
-We're-- we're-- we're cooking.
-We're cooking.
Debra?
Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong?
-Is it the baby?
-No.
He's cheating on me.
-Oh.
-Mom, he's cheating on me.
Oh, darling.
Drink this.
I put lots of sugar in it.
I don't want sugar.
I'll get fat.
And then I'll never
lose the baby weight.
No one will ever want
me and I'll die alone.
Jeremy and another woman, I--
Do-- Darling, do you know
this for a fact?
I saw them, Mom.
I was walking
past the coffee shop
and their heads were
so close together.
I don't know her.
She's-- she's got, like,
red hair and pigtails.
Who the f*ck wears pigtails?
No, that-- that-- that--
that-- that could be anything.
You can't leap to conclusions.
Two people
that are acquaintances
and their heads just
happened to get close.
And maybe-- maybe
they even touch each other.
Now, to a passerby,
that would look
more incriminating
than it actually is.
That kind of thing
happens all the time.
-No, it doesn't. No.
-Yeah.
-Heads don't bump by accident.
-Well, I...
-What do you think?
-Are there other signs?
We don't have sex anymore.
That's a sign.
Yeah. It's been a week.
-Not that much of a sign.
-Oh, I don't know what to do.
I don't
want to be a single mom.
But then...
I can't even handle the idea
of parenthood with a husband.
Is it like job hunting?
You know, is it-- is it
easier to find a new husband
if you-- if you still
have your old husband?
But then how-- No,
how can I stay with someone
who would cheat
on me when I'm pregnant?
Um...
No. I'll never forgive him.
Oh, my God.
-It's too late for an ab*rtion.
-Oh, sh--
If only
I found out two months ago.
[quietly]
Can the-- Can the baby hear me?
-No.
-Great.
Now the baby's
gonna hate me, too.
When I'm in labor,
everyone in the hospital's
gonna pity me
and then he'll show up
with his new girlfriend
and I'll look like sh*t
and she'll be all prettied up,
the b*tch.
Shh, stay-- Now, listen to me,
sweetheart. Stay calm.
You do-- Listen. You don't have
to make any decisions tonight.
Hi, what's up?
-Where were you?
-I bought the baby a toy.
A puppet set.
-Hi, I'm Jeremy.
-Simon.
He's in mom's cooking class.
Ah.
Well, I'm going to assemble
the puppets. Bye.
[whispering] No idea.
He did look suspiciously happy.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
But then he is happy
most of the time.
Yeah.
It's one of the things
I liked about him.
No dark side.
But then cheating
on your pregnant wife's
pretty f*cking dark,
if you ask me.
I'll go and see
what I can find out.
Oh, thank you.
He's just lovely.
Yeah.
[quirky music]
Oh. Hello again.
Texting someone?
Reading the instructions
from puppet assembly.
-Lots of steps.
-Let me help.
-So...
-[chuckles]
Baby on the way.
Yup.
Yeah, I remember
when my first child was coming.
I-- You feel so much.
So, so very much and...
Oh. Yeah,
I-- I think you're right.
That goes with that.
You know...
[deep comical voice]
Is this the end of my freedom?
Doesn't this--
Oh, no, I see.
Sure, you swore to death
you do part at the wedding,
but everyone
knows divorce happens.
It's-- People move on.
Never see each other again.
But when you-- When
you create a life together,
you're linked together forever.
And, um...
Wow.
I hadn't thought of that.
Oh, here's a hat!
So, I know what you must
be thinking right now.
They look
smaller on the website.
Do I-- Do I lose my chance
of happiness just because
a random spermatozoa
fertilized a random egg,
God calls bingo and that's it?
We're--
We're trapped until we die.
I mean, that can't be
how life is supposed to work.
I mean, if it were, why--
why-- why would we still
hear love calling to us?
Sunny day and...
... we see a woman
walking down the street
at a nice, brisk pace.
And she pauses to...
... push the hair out
of her eyes and we know--
we just know she is
the one we could love forever.
So, Jeremy.
Are you lying awake
at night asking the question
that eats
away at all our souls?
"Is this really the life
I want to be living?"
Uh...
Okay, yeah.
Maybe asking that a bit.
You know, if you--
if you want a confessor,
I-- well, I'm not-- I-- I mean,
I-- I had a very priestly
experience recently,
so, you know...
Feel free to confide.
I don't know.
You're gonna think,
[goofy voice] is Jeremy
out of his ever-loving mind?
People think that a lot.
Hey, hey. Priests.
You can tell us anything.
Well.
What-- what you said? Yes.
I keep thinking if I don't
make this fantasy come true,
I-- I may never
have another chance. It's--
[goofy voice]
That's all I can talk about.
[Irish accent] You can
share your secret with me, son.
[goofy voice] Um....
J-- Hmm.
Just between you and I,
I've always wanted to...
To... Oh...
To...
-I found out two things.
-Yeah?
One, he's an idiot.
We knew that already, but...
... as idiots go,
he is quite sweet.
And-- and two?
The puppets aren't
for the baby. They're for him.
His dream
is to become a puppeteer.
-Did you know that?
-No.
-[both laughing quietly]
-Shh.
Do you think--
Do you really think that's all?
I have no idea.
I gave him my number, right?
I said call me
if he needs to talk.
Oh, God. Poor Debra.
Well, you'll...
You... wanting to go now?
I'm-- I'm okay,
I'm not in any hurry.
My husband
will be home soon, so...
Good night.
See you at class?
Yeah.
[sighs]
Oh...
-Mom.
-Ah!
If you want to nap,
you've got a bed upstairs.
Thank you, darling,
for the reminder.
-Are you okay?
-I was... Oh.
I don't know what I was.
[chuckling nervously]
You seem really confused.
Just like me and my marriage.
I'm lost.
Let's see what happens
over the next bit.
And don't tell your dad
until we have all the facts.
He might k*ll him.
"How dare you cheat
on my pregnant daughter?"
Something...
[door shuts]
[Debra sniffles]
Something wrong?
-No.
-Good, good, good, good.
But I think something
might be wrong with Mom.
Nonsense.
Your mom's always fine.
-She's-- she's dreamy.
-Your mother's never dreamy.
-She's not a dreamy person.
-[Debra] She is now.
And I know for a fact
she thinks she has cancer.
Bu-- but I think it might
be something even worse.
-Than cancer?
-Alzheimer's.
It can happen at her age.
I just googled it.
Your mother's smarter
than the two of us combined.
Her IQ is off the charts.
She used to be smarter,
but what's with the cooking?
We had Coq Au Vin last
Thursday and yesterday
the toast was burnt?
-Unpredictable moods.
-She's only had a few classes.
Maybe they haven't
got to toast yet.
Have you also noticed how
she keeps smiling to herself?
And not long ago,
she was miserable.
That's why we sent
her to the cooking class.
And for the food, of course.
Exactly.
Our plan is working.
She's making friends.
One of her cooking
ladies texted her.
Erratic behavior.
And she was
just leaning against
that wall,
napping while standing up.
Something weird is going on.
Do you have time to rehearse?
We could, uh,
we could go to the park?
-Um...
-No.
No. No, no, I-- I... No.
I should really go home.
-It's--
-Yeah.
Yeah. Bye.
-Ava!
-Oh, I don't want to have
to spell it out, but we really
shouldn't go to the park.
-Look.
-Huh? Oh.
-Pigtails. That could be her.
-Yeah.
Jeremy does get
off work around now and--
-Maybe we should--
-that is the direction
-of his office.
-Follow her.
Okay, wait.
Slow down, slow down.
[quirky music]
Don't get too close.
[Ava whispering]
Well, wha-- what do we do now?
Just keep going, keep going.
[Simon clears throat]
Well, we-- we can't follow
her if we're in front of her.
Well, we just--
we walk slower, right?
I am walking slowly.
Now let's pretend to gaze.
-Gaze?
-Yeah, yeah, gaze. Gaze. Um...
Hey, h*, look. Look-- look
at the, um-- the-- the tree.
Oh, yeah, it's a cool-- What's
a-- What kind of tree is that?
-I don't know anything about--
-It's a birch.
Oh, it-- it's a birch tree.
That's-- -- That is-- That's
a fine specimen of a birch.
-Yeah.
-If ever I saw one.
She's coming.
Oh, and there's more.
Oh, this-- That's-- That's
a very impressive tree.
That's-- that's really good.
I love it, it's--
-Excuse me.
-No apology.
That wasn't very
Canadian of her.
Just the kind of woman
who would sleep with a married
man with a baby on the way.
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
Come on.
NO, no, no,
they were really in love.
Their-- Their tragedy is that
they couldn't escape Verona.
I-- I think their tragedy
is the delusion
that the infatuation
would last.
-Th-- That's what k*lled them.
-Infatuation? That is love.
She spotted us.
[laughing nervously]
How could she not?
We've been following
her for days.
Ooh, finally a decent pace.
Why is she scared of us?
We're not scary.
Well, maybe
she thinks we're crazy people.
Crazy people don't usually
travel in twos.
-Let's go!
-[Ava laughing]
[Ava] Why-- Why-- Why--
Why are you running after her?
What are you gonna
do if you catch her?
Yeah, that's-- that's, uh--
that's a good point.
[notification sounds]
It's probably your wife.
-No, it's Jeremy.
-Oh.
He say's gonna meet
him tomorrow.
Okay. Okay, let's
see what tomorrow brings.
Where are we?
[Simon] Yeah,
we should've left breadcrumbs.
You know,
if that is the right redhead,
she's-- she's gonna
remember you.
What are you gonna
say to her when she asks
-why you were following her?
-Easy.
She won't remember.
I'm forgettable.
You're not forgettable.
That was
kind of a compliment,
if only you hadn't hurt
my shoulder giving it to me.
I-- I touched you very,
very lightly.
It's so late.
I've been calling you.
[Ava] Oh, Okay. Um.
Yeah, sorry. I, um-- Yeah,
I turned my phone off during
the class and I forgot
to turn it back on again.
Well, where have you been?
I just got a bit lost
on the way home.
Got... It's six blocks.
[Jeremy clearing throat]
Thank you for meeting me.
-Oh, no problem.
-Okay, confession time.
I'm not just in love
with the puppets.
In addition, I'm in love...
with a woman.
Yes... my son.
When I look at Carolyn, I feel
just the way you described
when you saw that woman
brush back her hair
on the street corner.
The way Carolyn moves those
puppets, it's-- it's awesome.
Well, I don't know
if that's exactly
what I was trying to say.
Of course,
it must be even harder
for you as a priest.
You're married to God.
Or is that just nuns?
[medieval music]
-He admitted it.
-What?
He told you he was
having an affair?
He didn't exactly
say he was having sex with her,
but he said he'd fallen in love
with her, which is just as bad.
No. Falling in love with
another person isn't as bad
as having sex
with another person.
Well, I-- I beg to differ.
-Love-- Lo-- love is bigger.
-Love is definitely smaller.
If my wife would-- I would
rather she had sex with someone
-than fall in love with him.
-I would much rather my husband
fell in love with someone
and kept his d*ck in his pants.
Oh, but hey, Jer--
Jeremy could be having sex
with this woman, too.
Sex and love, nothing's
more catastrophic than that.
Can you find out?
[music stops]
[Dylan] Yeah,
we'll be cutting the dance.
-[quietly] I think that's wise.
-Thank God.
So, this woman... how, uh...
how serious
would you say it is?
I-- I think
she really likes me.
I-- If I can
only up my puppet game.
She really loves puppets.
Have you, uh...
Have you spent
much time alone together and...
Well, I'm living
with my wife and the in-laws,
so there's not much privacy.
Uh-huh.
Carolyn's living with
her parents. It's a long story.
Her puppetry grant
hasn't come through yet,
but she's really
sure she's getting it.
If Carolyn doesn't deserve one,
who does?
So, you haven't consummated
the relationship yet?
-Consum...
-Have you f*cked her?
It was just once-- well, twice.
You will never
see my daughter again.
-You will never see that baby.
-[Debra] What do I do?
Well, you can start
by cutting that little as*h*le
-right out of your life.
-Are you serious?
What's your daughter gonna do?
Right now,
she's listening to Matthew,
who says she must banish
Jeremy from her life forever.
It's understandable.
Yeah, but he gets
to be single again.
She gets a screaming
baby and diapers.
Is that really the best move?
Well, I'll keep in touch
with Jeremy and I'll find
out what's going
on in the puppet world.
Mm. I'd better-- don't want
them to figure out the secret.
Thank you. Thanks for your help
with Jeremy.
It's getting cold.
Here.
-Suits you.
-Thank you.
I was gorgeous. I was.
You should've seen me.
They made me prom queen.
I could have had anyone.
But Simon made me laugh.
Yeah.
The men who make you laugh,
they're
the real heart breakers.
So...
How did I feel
getting a call from someone
I don't even like saying,
"Ros, how ya doing?
And by the way,
didn't I see your husband
getting all
cozy with another woman?"
[whimsical music]
[Simon speaking indistinctly]
-[Ava] No, no, no.
-[Simon] But--
you're so good at the verse.
It's like-- it's like a natural
-thing--
-That really is not true. No.
I mean, no, no. You--
[Ros] Hi, honey.
Oh, my Go-- I didn't
expect to run into you.
I was just at the hairdresser.
How do I look?
Oh, hi. Who's your friend?
-This is, uh-- this is Ros.
-Ava.
-Ava Ringland.
-Ros.
-Hi.
-Simon's better half.
Nice to meet you.
So you must
be in his drahma class.
Sounds like so much fun!
Actually, yeah, it-- it kind
of is, much to my surprise.
Oh, well,
I'd love to hear about it,
but I just-- I don't have time.
Hey! Why-- Why don't you come
for dinner. Maybe Friday night?
I would just love to
meet some of his classmates.
Are you married?
You can bring your hubby.
Oh, oh,
we barely know each other.
-We're not--
-Is it an allergy thing?
'Cause I can make anything.
All that gluten-schmuten,
no fried kitten stuff?
[Ros laughing]
Or is it something else?
Something I don't know about?
Yes, I...
My family don't know
I'm taking the drama class.
Oh.
I originally signed
up for the cooking class,
but-- they really want
me to become a better cook.
But-- Anyway, I haven't told
them I've switched.
Well, we can keep secrets,
can't we?
Don't you worry,
I won't let the truth slip out.
So. Friday night, eight
o'clock. We're at 87 Rosewood.
I'm...
Matthew
and I will be there.
Hey, that's great!
See ya at home.
Mwah.
You should really take pottery
next semester.
Super fun.
I wasn't going to act like I
had anything to be ashamed of.
He kissed me,
not the other way around.
I know, yeah.
I know that's bullshit.
[chuckles]
I said yes because I thought
meeting his wife,
getting to see his home...
that would put an end to...
... to...
... well, whatever
it was that was happening.
We'd be done.
And...
If I... had to do it again,
would I have gone?
I don't know. Don't know.
I mean, how many decisions
do you rethink?
How far back do you go?
Maybe it all went wrong
the first time you let
that lad kiss your cheek
in the schoolyard, you know?
Oh! I loved that first kiss.
In fact, I kissed him.
Jimmy Cartwright.
Oh, my God. He was a doll.
Wonder what he's doing now.
[Matthew] I still don't
understand why we have
to have
dinner with these people.
You told
me to make new friends.
I meant during the day
when I'm working.
[Ava] Quiet now, quiet now.
Oh, hey. That looks delicious.
Simon made it.
I did the salad and dessert.
This course the two of them
are taking is amazing.
I can't believe the improvement
in Ava's cooking.
It's a miracle.
[under breath] A miracle.
Oh, no, I don't drink.
You don't?
No, uh, my goal
is to remain as smart
and sane as possible.
There's times
when I'm happy to throw all
that away for a little madness.
Well, isn't this nice?
Having new people
to tell my old stories to?
These days,
the only reason I get
up in the morning is insomnia.
-Cheers.
-[Simon] Cheers.
-Cheers.
-[Matthew] Cheers.
Salad, Ida?
It's, uh-- it's Ava.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was sure it was Ida.
Okay? Ava.
I can work on that.
-[coughs]
-[Ros] Oh.
[Ava] Oh, sh*t.
Are you... all good?
Good.
[Ros clears throat]
-Do you have any children?
-Uh, yes, a daughter.
We're going through
a bit of a nightmare
with our Debra right now.
She married a complete as*h*le.
[Ros] Ah. Small world.
Our two, boy and a girl,
married assholes, too.
But at least we don't
live anywhere near them,
so we manage to dodge
all the "pick up the dog sh*t"
bullshit.
[Matthew] Well, looks like our
Debra's gonna be a single mom.
Fortunately, Ava here is
gonna help raise the baby.
Oh, wow. You're a better
human being than I am.
When the grandkids
start coming,
I am moving to Barcelona.
And I'm not
leaving my phone number.
-So don't you tell them.
-[chuckles]
You know what?
There's
something about this wine.
It's not quite right.
I think we should open
the bottle that you brought.
Mattie, do you want
to help me in the kitchen?
I am just horrible with corks.
Excuse us.
You shouldn't have come.
-Hi.
-Hey.
Come here.
[whispering] So. I think
they're falling in love.
-Who?
-Your wife and my husband.
-That's ridiculous.
-Is it?
-They've barely spoken.
-Exactly.
-Also, Ava would never--
-It's probably just a phase.
But then again, that's
what I said about my son,
and the next thing
I knew, he was an accountant.
So, we shouldn't
let it get too far.
This is, uh,
all in your imagination.
-We could Shania Twain them.
-What?
Oh, never mind.
Just keep an eye on your wife.
I am too old to be single.
I'll open this. Excuse me.
Yeah! So, anyway,
I was a wannabe bad girl.
I taught Sunday School,
but I stole.
-You stole?
-Yeah, just little things,
you know, like, uh, lipstick.
Oh, once a very fancy bra.
Oh, that was such a high.
I kept stealing
'til I was in my 20s.
Not to get all lawyer
on your a*s, but, uh, you know,
if you had been caught
at that age--
Mm, but I wasn't caught.
You can get away
with a whole lot with dimples.
[giggling] Oh, my God!
Why did I confess this?
Honestly. Okay. Somebody else
has to confess something.
-Ada.
-Ava.
Oh, my goodness,
I did it again.
Oh, me? No.
I-- I-- No. So far I never--
I-- I haven't stolen any-- No.
But you do
have a secret, right?
Matthew. You're not going
to believe this,
but your wife and my husband
have not been taking
-cooking classes together.
-Of course they are.
They're taking drama classes.
I'm sorry,
I know I wasn't supposed to say
anything, but come on,
how can this nice man get
upset about his wife
and a little amateur play?
Yes. Well...
I hated the cooking class,
so, yeah, I switched to drama.
They were-- They were desperate
for one more person and--
They're doing Romeo and Juliet.
Simon is the priest,
and I bet she's the nurse.
Actually,
we're playing--
She was-- She's--
She's very good.
-Sorry?
-Your wife.
Aww. And Simon
always regretted not becoming
a professional actor.
That's not true. I...
You know, I did... I did
it when I was very young.
Well, we all do things
when we're young
that we don't do now.
You. In a play.
That'll be seen in public?
Mm-hmm. And there's
a big show at the end.
No, it's-- it's just
for friends and family.
It's-- It's not the whole play.
It's gonna be adorable.
It's just like when our kids
put on a show in the garage,
tap dancing
their little hearts out.
[Ros chuckles]
I don't think I've
ever seen Romeo and Juliet.
It doesn't end well.
[footsteps approaching]
[Debra sighs]
How was your evening?
All I did was cry.
Well, don't
let yourself get dehydrated.
[Debra] I don't know
why my heart feels so broken.
Oh!
I remember
on my wedding day thinking,
you know,
"Was this the best you can do?"
I thought I was gonna
marry Jon Hamm.
Oh!
[Ava chuckles]
-Mom.
-Yes?
I want you to know that...
... if anything
were to happen to you...
... I'm gonna tell
my baby about you.
Oh.
Every bedtime story
will star my mom.
Well, I'm not going
anywhere that I know of.
-You're gonna make me cry.
-No, no.
And, you know,
if-- if there are some things
that you don't remember...
I will remember them for you.
Thank you, darling.
So, your mother's been
leading a secret life.
-Oh.
-What?
[Matthew] She's
not taking a cooking class.
She's acting in some
amateur play with the guy
we had dinner with tonight.
Oh, okay. That's weird.
And it's Romeo and Juliet.
It's just a few scenes.
-Oh. Who do you play?
-[Matthew] The nurse.
Oh, I-- That makes sense.
I can see that.
Does it? What's the nurse like?
Oh, she's a nice, fussy
woman who looks after people.
Mom will be great.
And memorizing is good
exercise for the brain.
[Ava] Hmm.
Okay, then. Night-night.
-[Ava] Night.
-[Matthew] Night, hon.
f*ck.
Mm.
I probably shouldn't
even tell you this,
but that woman tonight
was stark raving mad.
I kinda liked her.
Oh, no, she was nice,
but you missed the really,
really weird part.
She thinks
that you and that husband
of hers are
smitten with each other.
-She said, "smitten?"
-[Matthew] Smitten.
You and that boring
little nobody.
[Ava] Yeah.
[Matthew] I guess
she needs to think that he's
a prize or something rather
than the loser he actually is.
Humph. And can you imagine him,
thinks he can become
an actor at his age?
Ah, well, I guess
they deserve each other.
[footsteps retreating]
See you upstairs.
[emotional piano music]
[sniffles]
[exhales deeply]
Here we go.
[notification sound]
Oh, crap, it's sent.
[knocking]
[Ava] Before we went
to the motel room,
it was like we were ill, like--
like in a fever, you know?
I couldn't
stop thinking about him.
I-- I knew that we had
to end it, but...
... I-- I couldn't.
If even meeting
his wife didn't work...
So, um...
... the only solution I could
see was to confront
reality in all of its pain
and humiliation.
You know,
the two of us at our age.
So, I thought we'd fumble
around in the dark
in a sad little motel room,
two tired saggy people,
and we would see that there's
nothing special there.
And then we could put
it behind us and...
... we'd get on
with our normal lives.
I was mad. Completely f*cking
mad. I-- I think we both were.
What time is it?
No idea.
I think it's getting late.
It was the nightingale
and not the lark.
I must be
gone and live or stay and die.
Lest you stay 'til we die then,
solve that problem.
Love you.
Love you, too.
Lover?
Lover, my lover.
Lover.
I don't know,
it's-- it's a...
It's a-- kind of a delicious,
indiscreet word,
isn't it, "lover"? My lover?
Lover. I-- Well,
it's certainly a word
I never thought
I'd have occasion to use.
I still struggle to
believe that it was me,
that-- that woman
in that creaky motel bed.
Have you ever done this before?
What? No. You?
Not even close.
Do you feel guilty?
It's not
a question I ask myself.
I guess you do?
He cheated on me once. Matthew.
He did?
Yep.
I wanted to die.
I made actual suicide plans.
I-- I had just had Debra, so...
The hardest thing
about becoming a parent
is that it means you'll
never be able to k*ll yourself.
You'd f*ck them up too much.
[Simon laughs]
We were broke and Matt
was still at law school,
and I-- I couldn't handle
moving to some rented room,
going on welfare,
traipsing around in the snow
with a screaming baby and...
I was-- I was just way
too humiliated to go home,
so I vowed to leave him
as soon as I got on my feet.
But... guess what?
[chuckles]
My life went on
and she adored her daddy, so...
[sighs]
What he did to you,
that's unforgivable.
Says the married man in a motel
room with a married woman.
You don't know
what's forgivable
and what's not forgivable
until it happens to you, but...
Did I forgive him, though?
I'm not sure I ever
really loved him after that.
But then, you know, years
have gone by where I haven't
even thought about it.
Some-- some, I don't know,
quick f*ck he had
with an old girlfriend
when we were different people.
Perhaps it's easier
to forget than forgive,
but you see,
that is why I cannot give
my daughter some
self-righteous lecture.
[pensive piano music]
I still don't know
if I made the right choice.
Sometimes I think he doesn't
even remember doing it.
Oh, my God,
to this day, I-- I still
wish he had
just fallen in love with her.
Love-- love is--
It's just a dream.
But sex...
Oh, f*ck. Sex is real.
[upbeat jazzy music]
-Mom?
-Oh!
I can't believe you're here.
Debra, it's Debra.
I thought
you were better than this.
Look, I-- I can explain.
I-- I-- I'm-- I am...
-I'm here be--
-Well, I know why you're here.
You do?
Oh, whoa.
Yeah, that--
I-- I admit it. I--
You followed me.
-What?
-I'm not stupid.
It's obvious you followed me
here, so don't try to deny it.
I did, yes.
I-- I-- I followed
you here be--
and you're here because--
If he can sleep
with someone else, so can I.
Oh. That's why you're here?
That's-- that's
why I followed you here.
I'm not stupid, either.
These days, pregnant
women can sleep around, too.
Not just men who are
married to pregnant women.
That has been established.
Okay? sl*t shaming is over.
Yes. Well,
is he someone I know?
It's the,
uh, guy from Food Mart.
Food Mart?
The cute one.
Carries
groceries out to the car.
Oh, yeah, yeah. He-- he's
cute. Whoa, he's married.
Well, yeah,
or we-- or we wouldn't
-have to go to a motel.
-Debra, a married man?
-That's ma-- crazy--
-For all I know,
the puppet
lady's married, too.
Oh, Debra,
sweetheart, are you sure?
No.
No, no, honestly.
No, I don't
feel like sex with anyone.
-Mm-hmm.
-I have to pee
every two minutes.
It's hard
to work up any momentum.
I was just going to
text Jeremy a selfie
of the two of us in bed.
-Let me take you home.
-Okay.
-Come on.
-Oh, no, no, no.
Maybe I should text him.
'Cause he could stay
waiting there for hours.
You know men-- optimists.
I don't really
know the etiquette
for this situation.
Come on.
[Jeremy]
Are you expecting a call?
[Simon] I just, uh...
Just someone I haven't heard
from since yesterday and, uh...
I made a horrible mistake.
Hmm?
I want to be married to Debra.
And living in Ava and Matthew's
house and-- and feeling
our baby move in her tummy--
I had all that.
I can't
believe I threw it away.
And how's it going
with the puppy lady?
Puppet.
Puppet lady.
What was I thinking?
All she and I have in common
is the puppets.
That's not enough!
However delightful they are.
I don't know if I would've
slept with Carolyn
if you hadn't given that big
speech about,
"Is this the right life?
Maybe I should go after
women on street corners."
What, you only-- you only
slept with her after that?
Yes. You made leaving
your wife sound just wonderful.
But it's not.
-[notification sounds]
-Yes.
No, no, no. No...
Oh, my God.
Bad news?
I should, um...
I don't know what to do.
Then maybe I shouldn't
ask you what to do
to win back Debra.
You'd think sitting for 10
hours alone in the motel
room would bring some
clarity but it doesn't. It's...
Motel. I wasn't
thinking that, though.
Maybe a big romantic
gesture might work.
I-- All those horrible
thoughts: "Is she dead?
Does she not-- Does
she not love me anymore?
Did she just
misplace her phone?"
-And then...
-Debra loves a nice hotel.
We stayed
in one on our honeymoon.
Champagne,
strawberries, Jacuzzi tub.
f*ck...
Okay, bad idea,
but it's all have.
-I need to go somewhere.
-Where?
-Need a drink.
-Okay, can I come?
Have you ever
thought of suicide?
You think that will help win
her back? Isn't it a bit risky?
What if she doesn't get there
in time and I actually died?
Not as a tactic.
Because...
Because there's
no reason to go on.
I don't
think things are that bad.
I have
my health and the puppets.
I can't return
them even if I wanted to.
They-- they were final sale.
So... Yeah.
Going for a drink.
I had to do it. I-- I had to.
I had a pregnant
daughter who needed me.
It's my husband,
it's Simon's wife.
And what the hell
was I thinking?
You-- you have
to have a moral code.
You can't just--
You can't just be happy.
So, I said in my text
that I would do the play--
It was almost done anyway.
But when the play was finished,
that was it. We were done.
[doorbell rings]
I have a delivery.
Oh, sh*t.
-Um. Can I just refuse?
-Are you Debra?
N-- Oh, no, no. Uh, okay.
No. Oh, thank you.
Debra!
If these are from Food Mart
Boy, he's very forgiving.
-They're from Jeremy.
-Hmm.
He wants
me to meet him at Paragon.
-That's a nice hotel.
-Yeah.
Way nicer than
Food Mart Boy's sleazy motel.
I mean, that was really sleazy.
Well, I would imagine
motel costs would add up,
you know, if an affair
goes on for a while.
I mean, what are the options?
Plus, if you're married,
you-- you can't put it on
your credit card.
You have to pay up.
Um, uh, what--
what does the card say?
He loves me.
-Oh.
-Should I go?
It has to be your choice.
These smell so beautiful.
Go.
Dad'll be mad.
I'll say you're at a friend's.
He loves me more
than puppet girl. Yes!
But do I even want
him after everything
that he put me through?
Just see how it feels.
And listen,
any decision you make
now doesn't have to
be the final decision.
There is no statute
of limitations on telling
your husband to get
the f*ck out of your life.
And no matter what,
I'll still be here
to help you with the baby
as much as you need.
Thanks, Mom. You seem
more like yourself.
I guess it wasn't
Alzheimer's after all.
Hmm.
Well, they are close,
aren't they? Dementia and love.
[chuckling]
Yeah.
[snoring]
[gentle whimsical music]
[crickets chirping]
[Simon] Ah!
[slurred] I will be back soon
and I-- I will not be alone.
[balloon popping]
[mumbling incoherently]
The door...
[stumbling]
[continues mumbling]
Keys...
[quirky, sneaky music]
[snoring]
-[Ava gasps]
-Shh.
[Matthew snoring]
[whispering]
How the f*ck did you get in?
-I borrowed-- shh!
-What?
What?
-I borrowed Jeremy's key.
-What? Jeremy knows about us?
-No, no, no. He know-- shh.
-What is happening?
He-- He thinks I'm
liberating the puppets.
-What?
-He's very easy to lie to.
Oh, God. What are you-- Whoa.
Not that it will matter
after tonight.
What are you trying to do?
-A grand romantic gesture.
-Oh, God.
Simon.
[Simon grunting]
-Ow. Oh.
-Oh, my ankle.
-I hurt you?
-[Ava] Ugh. It's okay.
-Did I hurt you?
-It's fine. It's just-- Ow.
It's-- it's all right.
It's-- it's an old injury.
It's just-- Oh, look,
it doesn't matter.
[Simon]
Let me kiss it better.
[Ava] No, go-- no, go-- Go to
the-- go to the door. Go on.
[Simon grunting]
-Shh.
-[Ava] Yes.
There's...
There's
a limo waiting outside
with champagne
and strawberries.
And there's no--
Okay, there's no Jacuzzi--
I'm sorry about that--
But there's--
Uh, you-- I can take
you wherever you want to go.
That is my husband.
Fortunately,
a very deep sleeper,
but you have to leave
before he wakes up.
-Don't worry. I've taken care--
-Shh!
-- of everything.
Debra and Jeremy--
Jeremy
is wooing Debra back even
as we speak and then
they'll be married.
And then, uh, you'll be free
from-- for us to get married.
You s-- I know that's why
you said you had to
stop seeing--
You're a good mother.
You are. But now we can
be together.
-We're...
-Men.
As a gender, you really have to
stop coming up with solutions.
Love,
we are in love, and love
-Simon, just go.
-Conquers all
-Go. Just go.
-I'm gonna--
I'm gonna chill. I'm gonna wake
up your husband now.
-No. No.
-I shoulda done that at the
start, but I was a little
worried you wouldn't let me
-carry you out.
-No!
My-- We-- Yes.
No. God, you're--
You're so drunk.
You know, I hate drunks.
-Stop-- Stop it!
-This is our moment, pussycat.
-Simon, go down the stairs.
-Go downstairs, Simon.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
-I'm going down the stairs.
-Go--
-To the limo!
-Shh.
-Shh. To the lim--
-[Simon's back cracking]
-Oh!
-[Simon gasping in pain]
-Let me help you.
-No, no, I'm okay, I'm okay.
-What've you done?
-No, I'm supposed to be
-carrying you!
-Shh!
-I said I'm...
-No, no, no, Simon.
-I got my second wind.
-No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no. No.
I do not wish to die being
knocked down a flight
of stairs by a man
who claims to love me.
Fitting, though,
that end might be.
-Come on, gimme your arm.
-I'm okay--
That's it, gimme your arm.
That's it.
-You're gonna like the limo.
-What?
-The limo.
-Shh!
-It's no-- There's no Jacuzzi.
-Okay.
[Simon] I'm sorry.
-[exaggeratedly] Ooh...
-[Ava] Stop it.
-[Simon] Ah...
-[Ava] Please.
-[Simon groans loudly]
-[Ava] Shut up!
-[Simon] I'm trying.
-For God's sake.
-[Simon groans]
-Bloody hell, you're heavy.
-[Simon] Ooh.
-Si--
It's really-- Ooh.
-No, no, no-- Wai-- See.
-Quiet.
See how well we work together?
-Yes.
-See how-- Crap. Ow-- Oh!
-Sorry.
-It's okay.
-I kiss it better?
-No. No.
We're-- We're a good team.
-Yes.
-Well, I'm not very good.
-I'm terr...
-Simon.
-You have to be quiet.
-You're gonna love the limo.
-It's--
-Simon.
I haven't been in one before
except when my father died.
But you're gonna
really like this.
-Simon, you have to be quiet.
-Come on.
-Simon!
-It's got balloons!
Simon, stop it!
Now, listen to me. Listen.
Can you do that?
You hit me.
Simon,
don't make this any harder
than it already is.
Listen. These...
These are the reasons
why I fell in love with you.
Okay. And now
I'll tell you the reasons
I fell in love with you.
And the-- oh, the curve
of your neck--
-Ah, that will be--
-Listen. Shh. Simon.
-top of the list--
-Shh.
And then number...
Listen. I...
I fell in love
with you because I lost my job.
It's because I felt useless,
because...
Because I thought nothing
good or interesting or-- or big
or-- or-- or-- passionate would
ever happen to me again.
It's be-- It's because
I wanted to be wanted,
because-- because in the play
I got to pretend to be in love
and be loved and it felt
f*cking wonderful.
I don't know what
your reasons are,
but I suspect
they are very similar.
We are not, I-- I repeat,
we are not Romeo and Juliet.
We are just two people
who are old enough
to know better.
I can't live without you.
Yes, you can.
It is insane
to love me this much.
It's me, it's-- It's me,
it's only me. Now please.
For God's sake,
go home to your wife.
That's really
what you want me to do?
Yes.
[car pulling up]
What the...?
[Simon grunting and panting]
Ooh.
[whimpering]
[exhaling in pain]
[plaintive piano music]
[sobbing]
[footsteps approaching]
[breathing painfully]
[wincing]
Oh, God...
Hi.
-You're home.
-Huh?
-Wha--
-I-- I pulled my back out.
Oh. You poor baby.
Don't move. I'll get
you a nice ice pack. Okay?
People fall in love,
and then they fall out of love.
It's just a matter of waiting.
Because nobody dies of a broken
heart in real life, right?
They just see that perfect,
shiny being
for who they really
are and... stop loving them.
I mean, it might be
different if you're with, like,
a Jon Hamm or Idris Elba,
but for the rest of us...
So, when it became
obvious that Ava,
yes, I knew her name,
had pulled the plug on
their little affair,
I had two choices.
I could kick him out,
punish him,
and end
up with half my savings,
half the value of the house
minus the moving cost,
the legal fees,
the real estate commission,
and grow old alone,
or I could go back to normal.
Well, it wasn't actually
that easy a decision.
I did briefly consider
one other option.
[Simon snoring]
[grunting snore]
Here, sweetheart.
Got a pillow for ya,
make you a little comfier.
-Up, up, up.
-Oh.
That's it.
Is that better?
There.
Thank you.
Any time.
[snoring]
They all snore.
Even the Romeos.
Well,
that was our final rehearsal.
Tomorrow night is show time.
Everyone, get some sleep.
Ava. Simon.
Could I have a moment?
I have plans.
I'll just take a second.
Not only did you seem
to not want to touch him today,
you didn't
even want to look at him.
And you.
Romeo ends up suicidal,
but he doesn't
start out that way.
I don't know
what is going on
-with the two of you, but--
-Nothing.
Nothing is going on.
After tomorrow,
it's your lives.
But for one night,
I need you
to recapture the magic.
[audience chattering]
Hi.
Can I sit right there?
-Sure.
-[Ros] Thank you.
Front row, huh?
Won't that be embarrassing
when we fall asleep?
[Ros chuckles]
And you must
be the pretty preggy one?
I'm Ros. And that would
make you puppet man?
The puppets are in my past.
Ah.
Do you like my broach?
I picked it up on the way here.
-Hmm? Oh.
-Oh, it's about to start.
[delicate piano playing,
audience whispering]
If I profane with my
unworthiest hand this...
... holy shrine...
... the gentle sin is this.
My lips, two blushing
pilgrims ready stand,
to smooth that rough
touch with a tender kiss.
They're Romeo and Juliet.
What?
Good pilgrim,
you do wrong
your hand too much.
Which mannerly
devotion shows in this,
for saints have hands
that pilgrims' hands do touch.
And palm to palm
is holy palmers' kiss.
Have not saints lips,
and holy palmers too?
Ay, pilgrim. Lips that
they must use in prayer.
O, then, dear saint,
let lips do what hands do.
They pray. Grant thou,
lest faith turn to despair.
Saints do not move,
though grant for prayers' sake.
Then move not while
my prayers' effect I take.
Thus from my lips
by thine, my sin is purged.
Then have my lips,
a sin that they have took.
Sin from thy lips?
O trespass sweetly urged.
Give me my sin again.
[audience murmuring]
There's a lot
of kissing in this play.
Don't worry.
It'll be over soon.
Are priests allowed to do that?
I shall forget
to have thee still stand there,
remembering
how much I love thy company.
And I'll still stay,
to have thee still forget,
forgetting
any other home but this.
Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good
night 'til it be morrow.
With a kiss...
... I die.
Romeo.
What's here?
A cup, closed
in my true love's hand?
Poison, I see, hath been
his timeless end.
O churl,
drunk all and left no friendly
drop to help me after?
I will kiss thy lips.
Haply some poison
yet doth hang on them,
to make
die with a restorative.
Thy lips are warm.
[chief watchman]
Lead, boy. Which way?
Yea, noise?
[Ava gasps]
Happy dagger.
This is thy sheath.
There rust...
... and let me die.
[whispering]
I will always love you.
No, you won't.
[applause]
And that was that.
I pulled myself together.
-[chuckles]
-Yeah, I did.
I pulled myself together. Um...
-I learned how to cook.
-[laughs]
Yeah.
It's not that hard, really.
Um, I did volunteer work.
I got outdoors,
did stuff.
And then,
eventually...
[whimsical music]
Oh, uh...
-I-- I was just leaving.
-I was going... in.
You, uh-- you taking
another course?
No, I'm teaching. Yeah, yeah.
Um, it's just basic
science for beginners.
It's part time for now,
but still it's, you know...
-That's great.
-And you..?
Uh, I was-- I was
doing another drama class.
Dylan asked me to play Hamlet.
Oh. Oh, that's lovely.
-I-- No. No, me too.
-I'd better, you know--
Listen, it's--
I'm glad to, um--
It's great to see you again.
-Yeah.
-Oh, uh, uh...
So, what happened
with the baby?
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
it is a-- It's a girl! Yeah!
-Hortense. Don't ask.
-[both laughing]
Yeah. Oh, she's a sweetheart.
And, uh, Jeremy, did they...?
-They're still together.
-Okay.
For now. Yeah.
Well, it's nice
to know how the story ends.
Yeah, and your wife?
Uh, she-- she-- she
had a little brush with, um,
-uh, shoplifting.
-Okay. S-- oh.
But, uh, they just gave
her community service.
She's fine.
We're fine.
Well, you look great, so.
So do you.
-You take care.
-You too.
[birds chirping]
[whimsical music continues]
[fluorescent lights buzzing]
[plaintive music]
[sniffles]
[breathes shakily]
[sobs]
[music surging]
[both panting]
[Ava sobbing]
[Ava laughing]
[music fades out]
["It's Never Enough"
by boywonderbread]
It's never enough
This aching heart parade
Kiss me again
Tell me this ends
Without
my heart breaking
It's never enough
These words cannot contain
What you mean to me
Like running free
without hesitating
And if I used
every single word
There'd still be a place
To explain
everything you are
It's never enough
This aching
heart parade
Kiss me again
Tell me this ends
Without my heart breaking
It's never enough
These words cannot contain
What you mean to me
Like running free
without hesitating
Every time I try to
say what you mean to me
I stutter and weep
'Til I'm left
with a wrinkled brow
Like the water falls fast
from a broken cup
I'm left with this view
And I know that
it's not enough
It's never enough
This
aching heart parade
Kiss me again
Tell me this ends
Without
my heart breaking
It's never enough
These words cannot contain
What you mean to me
Like running free
without hesitating
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A Grand Romantic Gesture (2022)
Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, sidolanters, GabrielAlejo2341
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectables
Valentine's Day, Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Romantic Movie Collection.
Valentine's Day, Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Romantic Movie Collection.