04x24 - Gone Fishin'

[bunniefuu]

Mom, We're Going Out In
The Backyard To Play, Okay?

Okay, But Rudy

Wear Your Hat.

But It's Spring Outside.

Yes, But It's Only Degrees

So Put It On.

Okay. Kenny, Put
Yours On, Too.

I Don't Have To.

I'm A Man.

So?

Men Don't Get Cold In Spring.

They Only Get Cold
When It's Below Zero.

That's Why They Send Men
To The South Pole.

There Are Women

At The South Pole.

Oh, Yeah, But They Stay Inside.

Oh, I See.

I'll Call Your Mother

And Tell Her That You Went
Outside Without Your Hat On.

I'm Sure She'll Say It's Okay
Because You're A Man.

Let's Go, Rudy.

Okay.

Cliff:
Hey, Look
At Kenny!

You Told Me
You'd Never Wear A Hat

As Long
As You Live.

You Are Not Going To Believe
What Happened To Your Son Today.

What?

No, Ask Your Son--

Who Has Gone Fishing
Or Times

Who Has Never
Caught Anything--

Ask Him What He
Reeled In Today.

A Rubber Tire.

No, Ask Him
What He Caught.

You Caught A Fish?

Where Is It?

The Morgue.

He Caught A Dead Man
In A Three-Piece Suit.

The Police Think

It Was A Gangster Named
Jimmy "The Snake" Martin.

So Granddad Said:

"Wait A Minute, Fellows.

Let's Just Change Places
So We Can Reel It In."

So We're Reeling In,
And I Got Mine In

And Granddad Has His In

And Your Son Is Pulling

And His Pole Is Bent Over
Like This.

He Said, "Dad, I Got Something."

So I Said

"I'll Help You Pull It In."

I Wanted To
Bring It In Myself.

But The Fish Wasn't
Putting Up Much Of A Fight.

Dad Thought It
Was An Old Tire.

I Said, "Dad,
This Is Not A Tire.

I Can Feel It."

And It Wasn't.

Theo:
So I Said

"Let Me Reel It In."

I Pulled With All My Might

And This Thing
Floated To The Surface.

And Then He Pulled It
And Saw The Thing...

And My Son
Saw It

And My Son Said,
"That's It!

I'm Not Fishing
No More!"

And "Phoom" Took Off.

I Had To Run And Catch Him.

My Man Was Gone.

I Said

"Hold It, Man."

I Said, "You Go
Get The Police."

And He Went And
Called The Police.

Dad And I Covered
The Man Up.

He Came Back
With The Reporter

And They
Interviewed Him.

The Police Asked Us
Some Questions.

So They Went Off,
And Here We Are.

But I Must Tell You That
I'm Proud Of My Friend

Who, After Being For
In Catching A Fish

Is One For One
In Catching A Dead Man.

That's Enough Warming Up.

Let's Play Now.

We Don't Have
Enough People.

We'll Play
One-On-One.

I'll Be The Goalie.

You Try To
Kick It Past Me.

That Will Be Easy.

Nuh-Uh.
I'm Quicker Than You.

In Your Dreams.

Goal!

Yes!

Whoo!

You're Stupid.

You're A Sore Loser.

Sun's In My Eyes.

Right.

Bet You Can't Do It Again.

Kenny,
Come Here.

Look.

Wow, A Bird's Nest!

Look, Babies.

I Wonder
Where The Mother Is.

She Should Be With Her Children.

Maybe She's Looking For Food.

The Man Bird Gets The Food.

The Mother Stays With The Nest.

Is That What Your Brother Said?

No, That's The Way
Things Are In Nature.

Nuh-Uh.

I Saw A Tv Show About Birds

And The Mother Bird Flew Away
And Got Bugs For Her Babies.

We Should Watch Over Them.

If The Mother Doesn't
Come Back By Tomorrow

We'll Adopt Them, And
We'll Take Care Of Them.

I Guess That Will
Make You The Mama Bird

And Me
The Daddy Bird.

Look At That.

Hi.

Ooh, Hi.

Everybody In The Office
Is Talking About Theo.

I Told Everybody At The Hospital
About My Son, The Fisherman.

It Is Kind Of Exciting--

Our Boy Getting
All This Attention.

You Better Believe It.

And He's Handling It
With Great Maturity, Too.

Mom, Dad...

Do You Know Who
You're Looking At?

Check Out Page Two
Of The Daily Chronicle.

It's A Picture Of You
By The Lake.

When Was This Taken?

A Reporter
Came By School Today

To Ask Me Some Questions.

At Lunch, He Took Me
To The Lake

And Took My Picture.

Read The Headline.

"Brooklyn Boy Hooks Dead Meat."

Isn't That Great?

It Was That Gangster,
Jimmy "The Snake" Martin.

He Ran A Stolen Car Ring.

The Police Have Been
Looking For Him.

Read On, Mom.

"A Brooklyn Youth,
Armed With A Fishing Pole

"Solved A Mystery

That Baffled Police
For Three Weeks."

I'm A Hero.

You Should Have Seen The Kids

When I Had The Photographer
Hanging Out With Me

And The Reporter.

Dad, A Teacher
At School

Asked Me To Write
A Story About It

In The School Newspaper.

You're Kidding.

I Went To The Newsstand
To Buy The Paper.

The Guy Looked
At Me And Said:

"Page Two, Right?"

I Said, "Yeah."

He Said, "Hey, Man,
Autograph This."

So I Signed It

And Pretty Soon, I Had
People Crowding Around Me

Asking Questions.

Yesterday Was The Best Thing

That Ever Happened To Me.

Theo, Did You
Say These Things?

What Things?

"I Pulled The Line

"And The Bloated Corpse
Popped Out Of The Water.

"It Was A Mess.

"The Guy Was Purple.

"His Nose Was Pushed
Over To His Ear.

"He Looked
Very Bad.

It Looked Like Some Mobsters
Had Worked Him Over Real Good."

Did You Say This?

I Told The Reporter
I Was Calling The Police

While Dad Pulled The Body
From The Water.

And From That
He Got This?

Dad, I Got All
The Local Newspapers.

Thank You.

I Had To Go To
Five Different Newsstands.

(Phone Ringing )

I'll Get It.

Huxtable Residence.

Yes, This Is Theodore Huxtable.

You Do?!

Okay, Could You Hold On
For One Second?

Yeah.

Dad, It's
Action News.

They Want To
Interview Me.

They're Putting You
On Television For This?

Give Me The Telephone, Please.

This Is Clair Huxtable,
Theodore's Mother.

One Moment, Please.

This Isaction News

And They Do Want
To Talk To Him.

Action News!

They're The Number One
News Team In The City.

I Have To Do It.

Suppose They Exploit You
Like That Paper Did?

They Won't Exploit Me.

I Promise.

I Can Handle Myself.

How Do You Know That
They Won't Exploit You?

He Can Do The Interview,
But We Have To Be Present.

Fine, You're
The Boss In This.

Dr. Huxtable And I
Have Talked This Over.

We've Decided To Let
Theodore Do This Interview

But We Must Be Present.

What Time Would You
Like To Do It?

Fine, We're At
Stigwood Avenue

In Brooklyn.

See You Then.

Yes, Thank You.

Thanks, Mom.

Okay, At : , A News Team
Is Coming To Tape.

I'd Better Get Busy With Dinner.

Can You Make Your Own Salad?

I Think I Can.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can,
I Think I Can, I Think I Can.

So, Vanessa,
How Does It Feel

To Have A Brother
Who's A Celebrity?

Theo, It's Really No Big Deal.

All You Did Was Fish Up
A Dead Body By Accident.

Vanessa, Do You Know How Many
Important Things In History

Have Happened By Accident?

Penicillin
Was Discovered

When Somebody Left
A Cheese Sandwich Out Overnight.

Theo, In History

You Wouldn't Have Been The Guy
Who Discovered Penicillin.

You'd Have Been The Guy Who
Left The Cheese Sandwich Out.

All Right, What About
Sir Isaac Newton?

He Was Just Sitting There
Under A Tree

And An Apple Hit Him On The Head
And Gravity Was Discovered.

Theo, In History

You Would Have Been The Branch
Holding The Apple.

All Right, Vanessa.

Maybe I Am Just A Branch

Or Maybe I Am Just The Guy
Who Left The Cheese Sandwich

But I Don't See Action News
Calling To Interview You.

Now If You'll
Excuse Me

I Have To Go Upstairs

And Figure Out What I'm Going
To Wear For My Interview.

Hey, Mom,
How Do I Look?

Very Nice.

I Wore The Dark Blue Jacket

Because Lots Of Newscasters
Wear Blue

And I Read Somewhere

If You Wear Blue,
People Trust You More.

Theo, Sit Down.

Son, Your Father And I
Are Very Concerned

About Your Going
Through With This.

We're Going To Be Present.

You Know, Mom, You Would
Make A Great Manager.

A Celebrity Sometimes Needs
A Good Manager To Protect Him.

If I Get A Movie Deal,
You Can Negotiate The Contract.

Mom, Isaction News Here Yet?

No, Not Yet.

How Do I Look?

You Look Sharp.

You Think They'll
Interview Your Friends?

No, Just His Sister.

All Right, You Two.

This Is Between
Theo And The Reporter

So You Two Leave.

That's Fine.

We Have Things To Do.

It's A Secret.

We're Not Even Going
To Tell Theaction News Team.

( Doorbell )

Is That Them?

Yes.

Hi, I'm Harriet Waters,
Action News.

This Is My Cameraman,
Wayne Urick.

I'm Mrs. Huxtable.

This Is Dr. Huxtable.

We Watch You
All The Time.

Thanks For
Watching.

You Must Be Theo.

You Saw My Picture
In The Newspaper, Right?

Yes. That Picture Went Into
Papers All Across The Country.

Really?

You Think It Got
To Hollywood?

Probably.

Could We Start?

I'd Like To Finish
So We Can Have Dinner.

Oh, Of Course.

I'd Like To sh**t Theo
Sitting On The Couch.

Yeah, Fine.

We'll Be Right Here.

I Understand.

That's Fine.

This Is Harriet Waters,
Action News

Talking To Theo Huxtable,
Who, Two Days Ago

While Fishing With
His Father And Grandfather

Discovered The Body
Of Alleged Mobster

Jimmy "The Snake" Martin.

Theo, How Do You Feel

Knowing That You've
Helped The Police

Solve A Major Crime?

I Feel I've Done My Duty
As A Citizen.

I Love Brooklyn

And I'm Glad I Was Able
To Serve It This Way.

What Were Your
Very First Thoughts

When The Body Surfaced?

As The Son Of A Physician,
I Ascertained Immediately

That The Body Had Expired
About Three Weeks Ago.

Did You Know That
After Your Discovery

The Police
Dragged The Lake

And Found The Bodies Of Several
Other Underworld Figures?

I'm Not Surprised.

According To
My Information

The Police Believe
That You Have Discovered

A Major Dumping Ground
For Slain Mobsters.

When This All Happened,
I Got The Feeling

That The Body Was Just
The Tip Of An Iceberg.

Theo, Tell Me, How Are You
Handling Your Newfound Fame?

I'm Taking It All In Stride.

Those Birds Look
Really Hungry.

I Wonder Where
The Mother Is.

We're The Mommy
And Daddy Now.

Get Out A Frying Pan.

Are You Sure They Like
Their Worms Cooked?

They're Babies.

You Have To Cook Their Food
To k*ll The Germs.

Okay.

What's The Butter For?

You Always Put Butter
In A Frying Pan.

It Keeps The Worms
From Sticking.

Clair:
Rudy!

Quick, It's My Mom!

We Have To Hide This!

Um... Drawer.

Um... Mom, We're In Here.

Rudy!

Is The Interview
Done Already?

Almost.

It's Getting
Dark Outside.

I Just Wanted To Make Sure
The Two Of You Were In.

We're In Here.

Excuse Me, Please.

Do You Need
Something, Mom?

I Can Get It.

I Need You To Move.

Who, Me Or Kenny?

Both Of You.

But, Mom, We Can't.

What Is This?

Ooh!

Rudy!

Why Are There Worms
In My Frying Pan?

I Should Be Going.

No, Kenny!

You Come Back Here.

What Are You Doing?

Mom, It Was A Secret.

Kenny And I Are Mommy And Daddy
Of Baby Birds.

Baby Birds.

They're Right Over There
On The Electric Meter.

Oh, Look At That.

They're All Alone.

Their Mommy Left Them.

Are You Sure?

Yes, We Watched Them

Since Yesterday After School.

The Mommy Hasn't
Come Back At All.

They Were Chirping Real Loud,
So We're Frying Up Some Worms.

I Don't Think
We Should Do This

Because Worms Are
Living Creatures, Too.

Yeah, But They're Ugly.

But I Bet
Their Mothers Miss Them.

How Will We Feed The Birds?

We Should Call The A.S.P.C.A.

And Let Them
Take Care Of The Birds.

Well, We'll Go Out

And Put These Worms Back.

You Want Us
To Save The Butter?

No, Dear, I Really Don't Think
We'll Need That.

Okay.

Do You Have
The Reverse Angles?

I Have It All.

I Think
We're Finished.

Okay, Let's
Hit The Road.

Thank You For Being
So Cooperative.

When Will This Be On?

Tonight At : .

: Central Time.

No, It's Not
A National Broadcast.

Just Local.

Well, Thank You.

We Will Be Watching.

Mom, The Birds
Are Shivering.

It's Too Cold Outside.

Can They Come Inside
Until The A.S.P.C.A. Comes?

Oh, Isn't That Sweet?

These Birds Are
Better Off Outside.

Suppose The Mother
Came Back?

I'll Put Them Back.

Where Did You Find Them?

I Found Them Outside
On The Electric Meter.

Let Me Show You.

Okay.

Well, Dad, I Think
I Did Pretty Well.

Chip Off
The Old Block.

This Is Unbelievable.

I've Got To Go Upstairs

And Tell All My Friends
To Watch The : News.

Dad?

The : News Was Over Here
To Interview Theo.

No, They Didn't Want You.

No, And They Didn't
Interview Me.

They Just Wanted Theo,
That's All.

And You Know What
I Just Experienced?

Remember The First Time
You Saw Me Play Football

And I Scored Three Touchdowns,
And You Said:

"Chip Off The Old Block?"

You Should Have Seen Him
In The Interview.

Mature...

I Mean, The Birth
Of A Mature Man.

Huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm Proud.

Okay, All Right, Dad.

I'll Ask The Lady
When She Comes Through

If She Wants To Interview You.

All Right.

Yeah, Break Out Your Trombone.

Bye-Bye.

Don't Forget Your Galoshes
When You Go To Work On Monday.

As You Recall

Yesterday, A Young High School
Student From Brooklyn

Fished His Way To Fame.

There You Go.
Turn It Up.

Theo Huxtable Brought Up
The Body Of Missing Mobster

Jimmy "The Snake" Martin.

I Visited With Theo Today.

Here's His Reaction
To This Unusual Event.

I'm Taking It All In Stride.

But In An Ironic Comment
On Life And Death

While Theo Was Discovering Death

His Sister Rudy Was Discovering
Life In Her Own Backyard.

Kenny And I Found
These Baby Birds.

Their Mommy Wasn't Around,
And We Didn't Want Them To Die.

Rudy Didn't Know What To Do,
So I Had To Step In.

You Did Not.

Mom Told Me To Call
The A.S.P.C.A.

They'll Save The Birds.

So While Theo
Was Calling The Police

To Take A Dead Body Away

Little Rudy Was Calling
The A.S.P.C.A. To Save A Life.

From All Of Us At Action News,
I'm Harriet Waters.

Good Night.

(Action News Theme Music )

Very Nice!

Very Nice.

I Don't Believe This.

I Sat Here.

I Did All That Talking

And The Whole Story Was On
Rudy And Those Birds.

Some People Have A Shorter
Moment In The Sun Than Others.

(Giggling )

I Called Up
All My Friends.

I Told Them To Watch
The : Action News.

And All Of A Sudden,
What Do You See?

"I'm Taking It
All In Stride."

The Whole Story Was On
Rudy And Those Birds.

You Did Get Carried Away
With Your Own Heroics.

How Could They Do This To Me?

They Can Do Anything
They Want To Do.

At Least That Dude
On The Newspaper

Made Me Look
Like A Hero.

They Made Me Look
Like A Fool.

Theo, That's Not Uncommon

On Your Father's
Side Of The Family.