04x11 - Dance Mania

[bunniefuu]

Okay.

Inches.

All Right, .

That's All The Measurements
I Need For The Bookshelves.

I'll Add The Numbers.

No, I'll Do It.

Thanks.

+ = , + = .

Put Down The , Carry The ...

"Carry The "?

Yeah.

Unbelievable!
You Carried The .

What's Wrong With That?

Dad, That's Old Math.

There's A Better Way
To Do This.

What Is That?

The Base Method.

It's New Math.

Base Method?

Every Foot Is Inches.

You're Kidding!

I Haven't Made My Point Yet.

Okay, I'm Sorry.

Every Foot Is Inches.

We'll Use A Base .

That Means

Represents One Unit.

The Numbers You Add
Aren't Actually Numbers

But Parts Of A Unit.

It's Much
Quicker.

Thank You,
But I Only Have Five Numbers.

I'll Just Use The Old Method.

Dad, You Should Learn
The New Math.

When We Started New Math

Janet Meiser's Father
Studied It In Night School.

Janet Meiser's Father
Is A Wimp.

Any Time You Want To Challenge
The Old Versus The New

Just Let Me Know.

Do I Hear A Challenge?

You Can Hear Whatever
You Want To Hear, My Dear.

You Won't Yell
When I Add Faster?

I Will Not Have To Yell

Because I'll
Be Finished.

Okay.

Let's Add
The Following Numbers:

...

No, No!

I'll Give
The Numbers.

Okay.

You Ready?

Mm-Hmm.

, , , , , .

(Ciphering
To Himself)

.

Yeah.

That's What I...

I Was Just Checking.

No, I Did...

Ahhh...

I Got It First.

I Was Just Checking.

See How Slow Your Way Is?

Want To Check Ways?

Wait Till They Read My Will

And Then You Base Method
X , Carry The .

Hi, Theo.

Hey, Mom.

I Discovered Something
Very Interesting.

My Hairdresser, Antoine

Does The Hair For The Producer
Of Dance Mania.

Dance Mania?

Mm-Hmm.

The Kids That Dance On That Show
Are The Best.

Yeah, He Said It's Popular.

It Is.

One Time, Cockroach And I
Went To Get Tickets.

They Had A Two-Year
Waiting List.

That's Terrible.

Yeah.

That Reminds Me.

As I Was Leaving,
He Gave Me These.

Do You Know Anybody
Who'd Be Interested?

Mom!

Mom, Mom, Mom...

Are These Two Tickets
To Dance Mania?

Uh-Huh.

Mom, These Are Two Tickets
To Dance Mania.

(Yelling)

Mom, If You And Dad
Ever Go Broke

You Can Come To Me
For Anything.

Thank You, Theo.

Cockroach Is Coming Over.

He'll Go Nuts
When He Sees These.

I'm Leaving
Before He Can Thank Me.

♪Dance Mania!♪

(Doorbell)

What's Up,
Cockroach?

Theo.

Cockroach,
Look At Me.

What Do You See?

I See Theo.

What You See Is
Your Best Friend.

Here.

What Are These?

Nothing But Two Tickets
To Dance Mania.

The Television Show?

That's
Right.

We'll Be Dancers
On Dance Mania.

They Tape The Show Saturday.

You Could Ask Anyone.
Why Me?

Cockroach,
You're My Best Friend.

I'm... I'm Touched, Really.

Hey!

It's All Right.

We've Got To Make The Most
Of This Opportunity.

This Is Our Chance
To Become Immortal.

After We Do This

We Can Walk Up To
Any Girl And Say:

"Do You Know
Who We Are?

We're The Guys
From Dance Mania."

No, We Won't Even
Have To Say It.

They'll Know It.

They'll Point At Us
And Say, "It's Them!"

We'll Go,
"You're Right."

We'll Be The Best Dancers
In The History Of That Show.

We've Got To
Practice Our Moves.

Do You Think
There's A Chance

We Might Get To
Dance With...

Tina!
Tina!

Ooh!
Ooh!

Tina Hunter.

We'll Be Dancing In
The Same Room With Her.

And Breathing
The Same Air.

(Chanting)Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!

And...

Hi.

Hey.

I Just Talked
With Vanessa.

She Says Everything Is
Going Very Well Down Here.

Yes, Indeed.

What's That?

Vanessa Used New Math
To Get These Measurements.

I'm Figuring Out
How She Did It.

Let Me See.

Oh, She Used Base .

You Know About This?

Mm-Hmm.

I Learned
When Denise Took It.

How Come Nobody Told Me
About This?

You Know How Some People Are.

You Try To
Teach Them Something.

They Get An Incorrect Answer
And Say Stuff Like:

"I Was About To Do That."

Or, "If You Were
A Better Teacher

I'd Have
Gotten It."

You Know--
Pitiful Excuses Like That.

I Don't Know Anyone Like That.

Here's Your Juice,
Dad.

Thank You, Dear.

Vanessa, How Would You Like
To Teach Your Father New Math?

You Want Me To
Teach Dad Something?

What's The Matter
With You People?

I'll Do It, Dad

If Mom Stays
Here With Me.

No, I'm Out Of This.

How About Rudy?

If He Gives
You Trouble

Send Him Upstairs
To The Principal.

Okay.

Class, Let's Begin.

Okay.

Dad, Since I'm Your Teacher

It Would Help Me Get Into It

If You Call Me
Miss Huxtable.

Whoa!

Check It Out.

Food, Drinks...

And Tremendous-Looking
Women.

Cockroach, I Think
I've Found Out

What Heaven Looks Like.

Be Cool.

Hi, There.

Nice Outfit.

Man, This Is What
Life's All About.

You Know It.

Don't Eat
Anything!

We Have To Stay
Light On Our Feet.

Good Thinking.

I'll Have Diet Soda.

Okay, Everyone,
Line Up.

I Have To Choose Dancers
For Our Second Batch.

When We're
Inside

Move Toward The Front
Of The Dance Line

So We're On Camera.

I'll Be There.

Cockroach,
She's Here.

Tina.
Who?

Excuse Me.

Excuse Me.

I Have To
Get Through.

She Spoke To Me.

All Right.

Let's See...

You, You...

And You.

I'm Sorry,
Ladies And Gentlemen

That's All
For Today.

Thanks
For Coming.

What?!

He Can't
Do That!

Excuse Us.

Let Us In.

We've Reached
Our Limit.

But We Have Tickets.

All These People Do.

The Number
Of Dancers

Is Limited Because Of Fire Laws.

We're Not Going
To Start Fires.

We Don't
Even Smoke.

Rules Are Rules.

We Have
Connections.

His Mom's Hairdresser
Knows The Producer.

I'm Just Doing My Job.

But Look At
These Outfits.

And We Have Moves.

Theo, Show Him.

Excuse Me.

Yes.

Uh-Huh.

Right.

Good News.

All Right!

I Have Room

For One More
Dancer.

One?

No Way.

We're A Team.

Yeah, We're Together.

I'm Sorry.

I'm Already Making A Concession.

Only One.

Who Will
It Be?

Cockroach, You Go.

No, You Should Go.

No, Go Ahead.

You Got The Tickets.

Guys, I've Got
To Get Inside.

Make A Decision.

Cockroach, Go Ahead.

Okay.

See You.

(Television Audio,
Dance Music)

Female Vocalists:
♪Dance Mania♪

♪Dance Mania♪

Announcer:
From New York, The Big Apple,
Fun City...

It's Dance Mania!

(Dance Music)

(Dancers Whooping
And Shouting)

♪Dance Mania♪

♪Dance Mania♪

(Chatter)

Hey, Theo...

Cockroach!

Hey!

The New Tv Stars!

Everybody's Going To Watch
Dance Mania Tonight.

I Invited My Girlfriends
Over To Watch.

Can We Come Over, Too?

Sure, I Guess So.

All Right,
Party At Darlene's.

Can You Both Come?

Yeah, We'll
Be There.

Tell Me,
What Was It Like?

Were You Nervous?

I Didn't Get On.

Oh, That's Terrible.

Tragic.

Cockroach Did.

Yeah.

For Sure?

Definitely.

Group:
All Right!

Unbelievable!

Hey, Did You
See Tina?

See Her?
I Danced With Her.

You Did?

Oh, I Don't
Believe It!

Your Reputation
Is Set For Life.

I'd Pay $ Million
To Be You For One Day.

Listen...

I'll Tell You
Something.

I Got On The Show
Because Of Theo.

They Only Had Room
For One More Dancer

And He Insisted
I Go Into The Studio.

That's Nice.

All Right,
Tell Us...

What Was Tina Like?

Don't Leave
Anything Out.

She's Sweet,
Has A Great Personality.

Time's Up.

Let Me Finish This Last One.

The Time Keeper Said Time's Up.

Stupid Rule.

Now, Let's See
How You Did.

Gee, Dad, You Didn't
Even Finish It.

Because Your Watch Is Fast.

Dad, You Only Got Seven
Correct Out Of Ten.

That's A C-Minus.

It's Passing.

But It's Below Average.

Are You Satisfied
With Being Below Average?

Yes.

I Think You Should
Take This Test Again.

And We Won't
Time You.

Now, The New Math
Is Very Tricky.

It Takes Patience,
But I Know You Can Do It.

You're Really
A Very Smart Person.

I Agree.

(Television Audio,
Old West Music)

Theo!

What?

Change The Channel.

I'm Watching A Movie.

Dance Maniai S Coming On.

Change It.

Rudy, Rudy!

Look What You Did.

You Turned The Tv Off.

You Can't Tell Me
To Change The Channel.

I Was Here First.

We Want To See Cockroach!

There's A Tv Upstairs.

We Want To Watch It Here.

I'm Not Moving.

You Know What Your Problem Is?

You Two Are The Most
Inconsiderate People

I've Ever Known.

All You Do
Is Think About Me, Me, Me.

You're Disgusting.

I Thought You'd Want To See
Cockroach On Dance Mania.

I Saw It When They Taped It.

It's Silly.

If You Want To Waste Your Time

Be My Guest.

Well, I Will!

Vanessa, You Know Something?

You're A Jerk.

You're A Bigger Jerk!

(Laughing)

Rudy, I've Told You
Not To Leave Toys Laying Around.

It's Very Dangerous.

Toys On The Floor

Is The Top Cause
Of American Household Injuries.

Who Told You That?

It's A Fact, Okay?

Okay!

It's No Fact, Jerk.

It's Not Enough You Try
To k*ll Me With This Toy

But You Insult Me, Too.

You Should Watch Your Step.

Oh, Yeah?

You Should Watch
Where This Is Going.

Theo!

There.

You Happy?

(Screeching Car Brakes)

(Faint Ringing)

Mom!

Now You're Going To Get It,
You Maniac!

Maniac?

I'll Throw You Out There, Too.

Theo's Trying To k*ll Us!

What's Going On
Out Here?

Theo Threw My Phone Out,
And It Got Crushed.

Now He's
Threatening Us!

I'm Sitting Here
Trying To Watch Tv

And They Start Harassing Me.

Hey, I'm Trying
To Take A Math Test.

Go Get Rudy's Phone.

I Don't Want Any More Trouble.

Dance Mania's Starting.

Yay!

Ohh!

All Right!

Walter's Mother Is Very Excited.

Yes, Indeed!

Dance Mania.

Tina--
My Woman!

Look! There's
Cockroach!

(Cheering)

He's Dancing With Tina,
That Lucky Dog!

I Can't Hear
With Everybody Talking.

Shhh!

Don't Tell Me To "Shhh."

I'll Talk When I Want.

Theo, Stop It Now.

Dad, I Was
Watching A Movie.

You Let Rudy And Vanessa
Come Down And Have Their Way.

They Always
Have Their Way.

I Never Have My Way!

Dad, I Almost
Break My Neck

On Rudy's Phone

And Now I'm The One
Suffering For It.

Go Close The Door.

Fine.

You Know, I'll Just
Go In The Kitchen.

I Don't Need To Look
At Some Idiot Box

To Have A Good Time.

All Right,
Cockroach!

Good Move!

Yeah!

Theo, I Get The Feeling
That Something's Troubling You.

I'd Like To Help You Out,
But You've Got To Help Me.

Who Or What Has Upset You?

Is It Me?

Your Dad?

Rudy's Toy Phone?

The People
At Dance Mania?

Cockroach?

Mom, Can't I Be Upset

Without Knowing
What I'm Upset About?

Could It Be You're Upset Because
Cockroach Is On Tv With Tina

And You're Here
With A Bag Of Pretzels?

That Has Something
To Do With It.

Why Did He Get On
And You Didn't?

The Stage Manager Said
They Could Take One More Person.

I Said, "Cockroach, You Go."

Cockroach Said, "You Got
The Tickets So You Go."

Why Didn't You Go?

That Wasn't Supposed To Be
The End Of Our Conversation.

I Was Going To Say

"I Know I Got The Tickets,
But You Go."

Then Cockroach Was Supposed
To Say, "No, Theo, You Go."

Then I Was Going
To Say Okay.

But Cockroach Said Okay First

And Before I Know It,
He's Dancing With Tina.

So What You Wanted
Was For You To Be Dancing

And Cockroach
To Be Watching.

That's How It
Would Have Been

If Cockroach
Wasn't Selfish.

So, You're Upset
With Cockroach.

Yeah!

Why Take It
Out On Us?

Because Cockroach
Doesn't Live Here.

You Shouldn't Be Upset
With Cockroach, Either.

He Aced Me Out
Of A Great Opportunity.

You Aced Yourself Out.

You Took The Gamble
That On The Third Time

Cockroach Would Say,
"No, Man, You Go On."

That Didn't Happen.
You Lost.

You Should Have Been Honest
With Cockroach And Said:

"Yo, Bro, Out Of My Way."

"My Woman Tina Is
Waiting For Me, Her Destiny."

Then There Wouldn't
Have Been Any Gamble.

I Don't Think I Would Have
Felt Right Saying That.

That's How You Felt.

Now You're Angry Because
You Didn't Say That.

If You Want To Be Angry,
Be Angry With Yourself.

Don't Take It Out On Us.

We'll Get Angry Back.

Fine, I'll Be Cool.

Thank You.

Next Time You Give
Somebody Something

Do It Because You Want To.

Don't Expect Anything In Return.

Mom?

Yes?

"Yo, Bro"?

(Dance Music)