04x03 - It Ain't Easy Being Green

[bunniefuu]

Good-Bye, Old Water Heater.

They Just Said,
"We Can't Fix Him Anymore."

Been With Us For Years.

Gave Me And My Family
Clean Dishes, Clean Clothes

Clean Children.

So Now You're Going To
The Big Basement In The Sky.

Au Revoir.

Finally Getting Rid
Of This Water Heater.

Yes, Yes.

I Can't Help It Anymore.

What Is The Bow For?

The Bow Is So That These Men
Coming By Will Haul It Away.

What Is The Note For?

Read The Note.

Look At It.

"Dear Mr. Sanitation Man:

"I Put A Bow On My
Water Heater To Make Your Day

"A Little
Sweeter.

"Not Many Appreciate
What You Do

"But I, For One,
Am A Fan, True Blue.

Your Friend,
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable."

You Know They'll Haul This Away.

The Only Thing That Needs
To Go In The Garbage Truck

Is Your Poem.

How About If I Put You
Out On The Sidewalk

With A Bow
Around You?

Nobody Will Take You Away.

Alfred...

I Remember The Red And Blue Days

When You Stood For
Everything That I Love.

Mon Frere, Au Revoir.

( Humming "Taps")

Mom?

Yes, Honey.

I'm Wearing This

To Kelly's Party, Okay?

Okay, Bye.

Just A Minute, Rudy.

Yes, Mom?

Come Here, Please.

What For?

You Know,
Just Last Month

We Put That Dress And All
Your Summer Clothes In A Trunk.

It's Getting Too Cold
For You To Wear Them.

Yesterday Was Hot.

Yesterday Was An Unusual Day.

Today It's Degrees.

It Will Probably Get Hot Later.

No, The Weatherman Says
It's Getting Colder

So Put That Dress
Back In The Trunk.

But This Is My Favorite Dress.

Can't I Wear It, Please?

Mmm, I Want You To Dress Warm.

I Am Warm.

You're In The House.

If You Go Outside
Dressed Like That

You'll Catch Cold.

I Don't Care.

I'm Sorry.

The Answer Is No.

I Want To Wear It.

I'm Sorry, Sweetie,
You're Not Wearing It.

Yes, I Am.

Young Lady

Don't Talk Back.

"No" Is "No,"
Understand?

But Mommy, You're
Making Me Feel Bad.

If You Don't Listen,
You're Going To Feel Much Worse.

Take That Dress

Back To The Trunk

And Let's Not
Discuss It Further.

I Have One More Question.

Yes, What Is It?

Can't I Wear My Dress To
The Party This One Time, Please?

No.
Upstairs-- Now.

But Mom...

One More Word

And You're Not Going Anywhere.

I Mean It.

Hello, Sanitation Department?

Yes, I'm From
The Brooklyn Heights Area.

I'm Calling Again.

Are Any Of Your Trucks
Broken Down?

They're Not?

Are They Running On Time?

Okay, Because I Left
Two Bulk Items Out There.

Right, No More Than Four.

I Know That.

By The Way, I Know
I Told You This Before

But I Voted For The Pay Raise.

And I'm Sorry
You Didn't Get More.

Right, Okay.

You're Welcome.

Right.

What?

God Bless You, Too.

( Doorbell )

Yes, God Bless.

Ah, Roberto.

How Are You?

I Came Over To
Study With Vanessa.

She's Not Here Right Now Because
She Went Down To The Store.

I Know.

I Came Over
An Hour Early.

So How's It Going?

Just Fine, Robert.

It's Going Good

With Me, Too.

Dr. Huxtable?

I'd Like To Talk

About My Love Life.

It's Not In
Very Good Shape.

The Last Few Weeks

The Girls I've Liked
Don't Like Me.

Robert?

I Really Don't Want
To Hear This.

I Know.

It Upsets Me, Too.

I Think
My Problem

Is I Go With My Feelings,
But Girls Go With Theirs.

It's A
Matter

Of Fusion Versus Fission.

Hey, Robert,
Let Me Tell You...

Vanessa Should Be Coming
Home Just About Now.

She's Carrying A Lot Of Bags,
And She Could Use Some Help.

So I'd Like You To Sit
On The Front Stoop

And Be On Point

So When She Comes, You
Can Grab Those Packages

And Help Her.

Then We Can't
Finish Our Talk.

What I'm Saying Is

That Because Of The Strength
Of Our Relationship

You Can Be Sitting Out There

And Whatever You're Thinking
Will Come In And Get Me.

I Hear You.

Downtown.

Downtown.

What It Is.

Rudy:
Daddy?

Hey.

Is Mommy Back?

Not Yet, Hon.

I Want To Show
You Something.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Do You Think I Look
Pretty In This Dress?

You Look Gorgeous In That Dress.

I'm Going To Kelly's Party.

You Think I Should Wear This?

Of Course You Should.

I Have Other Dresses.

Wear That One.

There's No Other Dress
As Far As I'm Concerned.

You're Saying To Wear It?

Yes, Wear It Because I Said So.

I Said It's Beautiful, Okay?

I Love You.

I Love You, Too.

Hey, Dear.

Show...

Show Mom Your Dress.

Go On, Spin Around.

Look At This Dress She's
Wearing To The Party Tonight.

Why Are You In That Dress?

I Told You
Specifically

To Put That Dress In The Trunk.

You're Asking For It.

Daddy Told Me
To Wear It.

Don't Try To Use
Your Father Against Me

Because He Has No Idea

About Such
Things.

I Want You

To Take That Dress Off.

I Want You To Put It
In The Trunk

And Don't Defy Me Ever Again.

Do You Understand Me?

Yes, Mama.

All Right, Go.

Cliff, How Could You
Look At That Dress

And Tell That Child

That She Could Wear It
On A Day Like Today?

You Have Witnessed
Three Daughters

Who Have Grown Up
In Your House.

Were You Not Paying Attention?

I Paid Attention,
But I Was Tricked.

I Didn't Know.

Why Didn't You
Check With Me First?

Because I Don't Know
All The Time To Check.

See, Just A Little While Ago,
If I Would Have Checked

It Would Have Helped Me
Not To Let Robert In Here.

But I Can't Check
With The Checker

That Checks The Checker
The Checker Checks.

I'm Sorry.

You're Right.

Thank You.

You Don't Have To
Check With Anybody.

Thank You.

Except Me.

( No Audio )

Hey, Theo.

I Didn't Know You Were Here.

Vanessa And I Were Studying

But Now We're
Going To The Mall.

Want To
Come?

I'm Kind Of Into The Paper.

We Can Wait
Until You Finish.

Then I'll Be Into
Something Else.

But You Have Fun.

This Is Probably My Most
Important Trip To The Mall.

I'm Interested In This Girl,
Joyce Barnett.

Vanessa Invited Her
To The Mall

So I Could Meet Her.

Vanessa's Fixing You Up?

Yeah, I've Lost My Confidence.

Every Girl I've Asked Out
In The Past Three Weeks

Has Rejected Me.

That Must Be Rough.

You Ask A Lot.

Even When They Say Yes,
It Never Works Out.

Twenty-Three Girls
Have Broken Up With Me.

Twenty-Three?

How Do You Deal With
All This Rejection?

Where Are You Storing
All That Misery?

Don't Worry,
I'm Not Letting It Build Up.

A Wise Man Once Said:

"Pain Is Like A Lighthouse--

"If You Allow It Into Your Heart

"It Will Guide
You To Shore."

That's Deep.

Thank You.

Okay,
I'm Ready.

You Look
Fantastic.

Thank You.

I Mean That.

It's Impossible For You
To Look Bad.

Maybe If Joyce And I Don't...

No, Robert.

We're
Friends.

I Don't Want Dating
To Ruin Our Friendship.

That's Why I'm Introducing
You To Joyce Barnett.

And Robert, Maybe
She's The Lighthouse

On The Shores Of
The Seas Of Your Heart.

Can I Use That
Some Day?

It's Yours.

Thanks.

Come On, Robert.

Okay.

Hi, Rudy.
Hi.

Where Are You Going?

To The Mall.

Vanessa, You're Wearing That?

Yeah.

You Wore That This Summer.

So?

But Now It's Fall.

I'm Wearing A Jacket.

What Did Mom Say?

I Don't Need Mom's Permission.

She
Tells Me

What To Wear.

That's Different.

Why?

Because You're Eight.

You Don't Know Enough Yet,
So You Have To Be Told.

It's For Your Own Good.

See You Later.

Bye.

I Know Enough.

She Doesn't Know Anything.

She's Dumb.

Everybody's Dumb.

Hey, Rudy.

Aren't You
Going To Say Hi?

No.

All Right, Fine.

If Anybody Needs Me,
I'll Be At Lana's.

You're Wearing That?

Yeah.

You Picked Those Clothes
Yourself, Didn't You?

Sure. Why?

It's Not Fair.

What?

You Can Wear
Whatever You Want

And Do Whatever You Want.

I Can't Do Anything.

I Wasn't Always Allowed
To Do Whatever I Want.

I Was Treated Like
A Little Kid For Years.

But Now I'm .

My Senior Year In High School.

I'm Practically An Adult.

Plus, I Get
Free Room And Board.

One Day You'll Have It
Just As Good

But You Have To Wait Your Turn.

Hang In There.

It's Only Nine More Years.

Later.

( Musical Introduction )

Ray Charles:
♪ It's Not That Easy
Being Green ♪

♪ Having To Spend Each Day
The Color Of Leaves ♪

♪ When I Think It Could Be
So Much Nicer ♪

♪ Being Red, Yellow Or Gold ♪

♪ Or Something Much More
Colorful Like That ♪

♪ Lord, It's Not Easy
Being Green ♪

♪ It Seems You Blend In ♪

♪ With So Many
Other Ordinary Things ♪

♪ And People Tend To
Pass You Over ♪

♪ Because You're Not
Standing Out ♪

♪ Like Flashy Sparkles
On The Water ♪

♪ Or Stars In The Sky ♪

♪ You Know Green
Is The Color Of Spring ♪

♪ Yes, And Green Can Be
Cool And Friendly Like ♪

♪ Oh, Green Can Be Big
Like An Ocean ♪

♪ Or Important Like A Mountain ♪

♪ Or Tall Like A Tree ♪

♪ Yeah, When Green
Is All There Is To Be ♪

♪ Well, It Could Make You
Wonder Why ♪

♪ But Don't ♪

♪ Why Wonder, Why Wonder ♪

♪ I'm Green ♪

♪ And You're Doing Fine
'Cause It's Beautiful ♪

♪ And I Think It's What
I Want To Be ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

( Garbage Truck
Rumbling )

( Garbage Truck
Pulling Away )

Hey, You Forgot
The Water Heater!

Hey!

Hey!

The Water Heater!

Hi.

Hey.

You Look Sad.

They Wouldn't Take
My Water Heater Away.

I'm Sorry.

What's The Matter
With You?

I'm Little.

And When
You're Little

You're Nothing.

So You're Nothing?

I Am A Big Nothing.

( Laughing )

If You're Nothing,
Then I Can't See You.

And If I
Can't See You

Then I Couldn't
Do This.
( Giggling )

You See?

Huh?

And If You
Were Nothing

You Wouldn't
Be Laughing.

Ha Ha Ha.

Then I'll Stop.

This Is Depressing.

I Wonder What We Can Do
To Make Life Better?

I Know.

What?

I Could Wear My Dress
To The Party.

No, Ma'am, You're Not
Pulling That One On Me Again.

No, Indeed.

Mom Got Pretty
Upset With Me.

She Sure Did.

Why Are You Trying
To Get Me In Trouble?

I Almost Got You Good.

Yeah, Because You're A Crook.

I'm Not A Crook.

You Are A Crook.

And You Don't Seem
To Understand

That When You
Trick Me Like That

Then I Have To Go
Into The Room With Mom

And Mom Talks To Me
All Night Long

"Why Didn't You Check With Me?"

And You're In Your Room...

( Snoring )

Next Time You Do That

You're Going
In The Room With Mom

And I'm Sleeping
In Your Bed.

I'm Sorry.

Good.

At Least You
Get To Pick Out

Your Own Clothes.

I Have One Of The Greatest

All-Time Ideas.

What?

Get Up On This Step.

Jump On My Back, And
I'll Tell You The Idea.

We're Going To Your Room
To Pick Out Some Clothes.

Fall Clothes,
Mind You.

Not Summer
Or Spring Clothes

But Fall Clothes.

And Make Mom Happy.

Hi, Theo.

Hey.

So How Did It Go?

Well, I Met Joyce Barnett.

And?

We Hit It Off.

All Right.

And Then We Broke Up.

What?

It's True.

The Fastest Break-Up
In History.

Robert.

Joyce Couldn't Handle
The Commitment.

You Came On
Too Strong.

I Introduced Them.

He Said, "Hello"

And Asked Her
To The Senior Prom.

Robert, That's
Three Years Away.

I Don't Have
A Date Yet.

Just The People I Want To See.

Why?

Stay Right There.

Clair, Would You
Come Out, Please?

Is Everything Okay?

It's Fine.

I Want You To See Something.

Watch This.

( Instrumental Music )

We Present The Rudy Huxtable
Fall Ensemble

Created By The Internationally
Famous House Of Rudith.

As You Can See

We Have
The Blue Stockings

Which Are Playing Against
The Turquoise Skirt.

And As She Is
Patrolling There

We Have
The Dinosaur

Which Is A Dironomous
Sort Of Thing

Which Envelops Around
The Black And The Purple.

And Our Model
Has On

The Low, Low
Moccasin Loafers

Which Are The Thing
This Year.

And So With
Our Ensemble

We Know That Miss Rudith
Is Certainly Saying:

"I Am Autumn."

"I Am Love."

( Applause And Cheering )

Rudy, You Look Gorgeous.

Thank You.

May I Escort You
To Your Party?

You May.

Then Shall We?

We Shall.

Mommy, I'm Sorry
About What I Did.

You Were Right
And I Was Wrong.

Apology Accepted.

But I Still Think I Look
Better In The Other Dress.