03x04 - Man Talk

[bunniefuu]

What Did You Get
For Nineteen?

Number Nineteen...
Ferdinand Magellan.

All Right!
Magellan!

One More Right,
And I Ace The Test.

Ladies And Gentlemen,
This One Is For The Car

And The Trip
To Hawaii.

Number Twenty Was...?

Coronado.

It Was Pizarro.

It Had To
Be Coronado.

Tanya, We're Talking
Senor Pizarro, Here.

Ask Andy.
He Gets Straight As.

Hey, Andy?

What Was Number Twenty?

Cortez.

So We Got
One Wrong.

Theo...

Yeah.

See You Later.

Okay.

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

I Need To Discuss
Something With You.

What Is It?

It's A Relationship Thing.

I've Been Seeing
Tanya For A While

And We Like Each Other.

What's Wrong?

Another Girl Is After Me.

Randi Taylor.
She's Incredible.

Every Guy At School Has
Asked Her Out And Failed.

And She Wants You?

No Matter
Where I Am

She's Looking At Me.

It's Not A Regular Look.

It's One Of These...

All The Time?

Every Time
I Turn Around.

How Come Every Time
You Turn Around

You're Looking At Her?

To See If She's
Looking At Me.

I See.

She Starts It.

Does She Know You're
Going With Tanya?

She Has To,
But I Don't Think She Cares.

She's Willing To Throw Caution
To The Wind To Get You?

I Don't Know
About All That.

But Look What She
Left In My Locker.

"Hi, Theo...
Randi."

Check Out How She Dotted
The "I" In Her Name.

With A Circle.

Not A Circle.
It's A Heart.

Okay... If You Look
At It Long Enough.

What Should I Do?

That's A
Tough Question.

I Like Tanya

And I Don't Want
To Hurt Her Feelings.

But It's Obvious
Randi Likes Me.

If I Don't Do Anything,
She'll Feel Rejected.

You Don't Want That.

So, As A Courtesy

I Should
Take Her Out Once, Right?

Well?

Well, What?

Tell Me What
I Should Do.

You're My Father.

I'm Coming To You
For Guidance.

You Want Me To Tell You
To Go Out With Randi.

You Think I Should Take Her Out?

I Didn't Say That.

So I Shouldn't Take Her Out?

I Didn't Say That.

What Are You Saying?

I Have Five Children.

I've Lived Through
Two Older Daughters.

I've Dealt With
Matters Of The Heart.

I'm Not Doing
That Anymore.

Just Tell Me
When You're
Getting Married...

What The Date Is.

I Will Show Up.

I Will Bring A Present.

I'll Have
A Card

That Says "Congratulations
To Theo And Randi"

Or "Theo And Tanya"

Or "Theo And
The Ice Capades."

So I'm On My Own?

If You Have
A Problem--

A Matter Of The Heart--

And You Want Somebody To Talk To

Who Will Listen And
Not Give You An Answer

I'm Here All The Time.

Thanks, Dad.

You're Welcome.

(Knocking)

Come In.

Hey, Theo.

What's Up?

Ready To Study?

I Suppose.

A Little More
Enthusiasm, Will You?

We're Talking
Higher Education, Here.

When Did You Get
Excited About College?

One Day I Realized
I Wanted To Go.

When His Dad Said
If He Didn't, Get A Degree

He Wouldn't Get
The Family Business.

That Helped Me.
So Could We Start?

Okay.

First, Can You Guys
Keep A Secret?

Yeah.

Sure.

You Can't
Tell Anyone.

Do You Know
Randi Taylor?

Are You Kidding?

Burger Supreme.

She's After Me.

Are You Sure?

Yes.

How Do
You Know?

This Was In
My Locker.

Wow! You
Are Set.

See The
Heart?

Where?
Where?

Over
The "I".

That's
A Circle.

It's
A Heart.

Maybe Her
Pen Slipped.

How Do You Live
Such A Full Life?

I Didn't
Do Anything.

She Made
The First Move.

Unbelievable.

I'm Not Surprised.

Lots Of Girls
Like You.

Get Out Of Here.

They Talk
About You.

Really?

You Know
What They Say?

What?

You're Good-Looking,
But You Don't Know It.

Get Out Of Here.

That's What
Women Like--

A Guy Who's Good-Looking,
But Acts Like He's Not.

Cockroach, I'm
An Okay-Looking Guy.

They Love It When
You're Not Conceited.

That's Why Women Like You.

Please!

When I Started Acting
Like I Wasn't So Good-Looking

It Helped A Lot.

That's
My Problem.

I Don't Know How
To Act Around Girls.

Just Be Yourself.

With A Little Me
Thrown In.

Yeah, Very Little.

You Asking Randi Out?

I Don't Know.

That Attitude Will Get
Her More Interested.

I'm Not Sure
I Want That.

Have You Talked To Her?

Let's Drop It
And Start Studying.

This Is Better
Than Studying.

This Is Life.

No, Gerald.
Theo's Right.

We're Here To Get Me
My Scrap Iron Business.

Let's Start With
The Verbal Section.

These Are
Word Analogies.

Number One:

"Magnet Is To Metal As:

"A) Hammer Is To Nail.
B) Radar Is To Airplane.

C) Theo Is To Randi."

"C."

What Are You Doing?

I Am Sending Denise
A Care Package.

Oh, Good.

Whoo-Hoo!
Macadamia Nuts.

You're Sending Her
Macadamia Nuts?

Yes.

Denise Hates
Macadamia Nuts.

Why Are You
Sending Them To Her?

You Know Denise Loves
Macadamia Nuts.

No, She Doesn't.

She Does And You Know It.

I Love Macadamia Nuts, Too.

Well, If You Go To College,
I'll Send You Some.

You're A Nice Person.

Have You Spoken To Rudy?

No. Why?

Rudy Wants To Have A Tea Party.

Theo And Vanessa Are Busy,
And I Have To Go To The Office

So Could You Have Tea With Rudy?

Are You
Kidding?

I Love Rudy's Tea Parties.

She Makes The Most
Delicious-Tasting Invisible Tea.

She'll Be Thrilled.

Where Is She?

In The Living Room With Bobo.

Hey.

How You Doing?

You Know What?

I'm Very Upset.

Why?

Well,
I Heard

That A Certain Person--

I'm Not Naming Any Names
Or Anything--

Is Having A Tea Party
And Didn't Invite Me.

I Thought You Were Busy.

Everyone Else Was.

Busy?

Do I Look Busy?

Do I Look Like A Busy Person?

I'll Get The Tea Set.

No, No, No.

Wait, Wait, Wait.

If We're Going To Have Tea

We Have To Do It The Proper Way.

We'll Have It At Teatime.

When's That?

: P.M.

And We Will Dress Sort Of
Fancy-Like.

I'll Wear A Dress.

You'll Wear A Jacket And Tie.

No Pants?

Daddy!

Amplifier Is To Hear
As Microscope Is To See.

Right!

All Right.

Let's Take A Break.

Good Idea.

Yeah, My Brain Cells
Are Smoking.

I Keep Thinking
About Your Problem, Theo.

I'd Love To Have It.

Who's It Going To Be?

Tanya, Or The
Ever-Popular Randi?

Maybe I Can Keep Tanya
As A Steady Girlfriend

And Date Randi Once In A While.

Dream On.

That's Not How It Works.

Theo, You Have
To Stay With Tanya.

Why?

He Gave Her A Ring.

He Can Take It Back.

So You're Voting For Randi?

Absolutely.

Don't Feel Sorry For Tanya

'Cause I'll Start Dating Her.

You're Not Going Out With Tanya.

I Will If You Dump Her.

I Don't Believe This.

Would You Rather She
Went Out With Strangers?

Yeah!

Theo

If You Dump Tanya,
She Can Date Anyone.

It Should Be Me.

Give Me One Good Reason.

'Cause I Haven't Had A Date
In Four Months.

Wait A Minute.

What About That Date
With Lisa Worthington?

We Didn't Go Out.

We've Never Gone Out.

You Told Me You Went Out
Six Or Seven Times.

I Meant To Say

That I've Asked Her Out
Six Or Seven Times.

Do Girls Talk About Us
Like This?

Nah.

Are You
Kidding?

I've Heard My Sisters.

What Do They Say?

Everything,
And They're Worse Than Us.

Wait A Minute.

You Mean They
Sit Around

And Talk About
Our Bodies?

Absolutely.

And They Show No Mercy.

That's Disgusting.

You Guys See Yourself Being Married?

I Wonder What It Would Be Like

To Be With The Same Person
For Years.

My Folks Still Kiss
After Years.

Mine Are All Over Each Other.

Is That All
Taped Up?

Yes.

It's All Taped Up
The Way You Want It?

Yes.

Ready To Go?

Yes.

Good.

Then It's Too Late
To Include These.

Cliff, You Are Terrible.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, How Did The Studying Go?

We Covered A Lot Of Subjects.

Anything To Do With College?

Some Of Them.

(Ring)

Huxtable Residence.

Hi, Tanya.

You Do?

Uh, Well, Okay.

I'll Be Here.

Yeah.

See You Then.

Tanya?

She's Coming Over.

You Don't Look Too Happy.

My Relationship With Tanya
Is In Trouble.

Really?

Clair--

Matters Of The Heart.

Proceed With Caution.

Theo, What's Going On
With You And Tanya?

It's Not Working Out
The Way It Should Be.

We're Not Like You And Dad.

Your Father And I Have
Been Married Almost Years.

You Dated In High School.

You Always Knew
You Were Meant For Each Other.

I Don't Know About That Now.

I Had My Doubts At First.

I Never Did.

I Knew Your Mother Was The One
From The First Time I Saw Her.

You Mean You Never Wanted
To See Anyone Else?

Never.

That's How I Want It To Be
With Me And Tanya.

Wait A Minute.

Cliff?

You Never Wanted
To See Anyone Else?

Never.

What About Eunice Chantilly?

Eunice Chantilly?!

Mm-Hmm.

See, Theo,
All Through High School

Your Father Had A Severe Case
Of Overheating

For One Miss Eunice Chantilly--

A Flouncy Little Tart
In High Heels And Tight Sweaters

Who Was
And Still In The Ninth Grade.

Son, She Was Just A Friend

And Someone I Could Talk To.

Eunice Chantilly
Was Known For Many Things

But Conversation
Was Not One Of Them.

And I Am
Convinced

Your Father Still Has
A Picture Of Eunice
Hidden In This House.

Theo, Come Here.

Do You Want To See Someone Else?

Yeah.

But I Still Like Tanya.

That's Okay, You're Young

And You Have
Lots Of Time.

But, Uh...

Just Whatever You Decide To Do

Be Honest With Yourself
With And Tanya.

Okay, I Will.

Okay.

And, Mom...

Hmm?

I Want To Thank You
For Helping Me Out.

Anytime.

(Doorbell)

Hi.

Come On In.

Can I Take Your Coat?

No, I'm Not Staying Long.
I Have To Get Back Home.

Okay. Well, Have A Seat.

Theo, I Want
To Talk To You.

I Want To Talk
To You, Too.

You Do?

Yeah.

I Want To Be Honest With You.

So Do I.

Good.

I Know About
The Note From Randi.

You Do?

Marsha Told Me About It.

That's Sort Of What
I Wanted To Talk To You About.

I See How You Look At Randi.

You Seem Interested In Her.

Am I Right?

Well, Not Really.

Yeah, You're Right.

Do You Think We Should
Stop Seeing Each Other
For A While?

What Do You Think?

I Think We Should.

You Do?

The Last Couple Of Weeks

Things Have Been
Different With Us.

I Know.

It Isn't Just You--
It's Me, Too.

Do You Know Charlie Myers?

Isn't He In The Band?

He's My Section Leader...

And We've Been
Talking A Lot Lately.

Doesn't He Know
We're Going Steady?

We've Just Been Talking

But I Think Maybe
We'd Like To Go Out.

You Mean Like On A Date?

Yeah.

Whoa.

Aren't You Thinking
Of Dating Randi?

Kind Of.

Are We Breaking Up?

I Guess.

I Should
Give This Back.

No, Keep It!

It's A Friendship Ring,
And We're Still Friends.

Right.

And Who Knows?

Theo, You're The First Guy
Who's Ever Been Wild About Me.

Come On.

Really.
Thanks.

When Someone Likes You That Much

It Gives You Confidence.

If It Wasn't For You

I Couldn't
Have Talked To Charlie.

Uh... I'm Glad.

I Better Be Going.

Okay.

Well, I Guess I'll
See You At School.

Bye, Tanya.

Bye, Theo.

(British Accent)
I Say.

I Say.

Would You Care, Old Bean,
To Join Me For Some Tea?

I Need To Talk To You.

This Is Serious.

We Need To Talk.

Okay.

Tanya Just Left.

You Want To Hear Something?

She Dumped Me For Another Guy.

Well, Weren't You Going
To Dump Her For Another Girl?

But, Dad...
Charlie Myers?

She Dumped Me
For Charlie Myers.

What's Wrong
With Charlie Myers?

Nothing, Dad.

I Just Can't Picture
Him And Tanya Together.

I Don't Think You Can Picture
Tanya With Anyone Except You.

Now Come On.

(British Accent)
Let's Have Some Tea, My Boy.

Here We Go.

Charlie...

Charlie Myers, Dad.

Charlie Myers.

I Know...

I Know.

Ah, It's Teatime.

Yes.

And I Brought With Me
My Friend, Theo Huxtable

The Earl Of Melancholy.

Do Sit Down.

Thank You.

Have A Seat,
My Good Man.

Charlie Myers.

Shall I Pour?

Please Do.

Ahh, My Goodness

The Weather Certainly
Is Wonderful, Isn't It?

Hasn't The Weather Been
Simply Delightful?

Yes, What Do You Think, Earl?

Whatever You Say, Dad.

I Have To Apologize
For The Earl's Behavior.

He's Quite Depressed, You See.

Woman Problems?

(Ring)

The Phone.

(Ring)

Huxtable Residence.

Theo?

Well, He's A Little
Depressed Right Now.

Who's Calling?

Maxine.

Well...

Maxine?!

I'll Take It!

Dad, That's
Maxine Kirkwood.

She's A
Majorette.

Looking For A Major.

I'll Take It In
The Living Room.

All Right. Good Luck.

(Ring)

(Ring)

That Was The
Lady Maxine Calling

For The Earl Of Rebound.

Quite All Right.

I Would Like To
Propose A Toast

To The Beautiful Lady Rudy--

Whose Teeth Happen To Be
Much Larger Than Her Face.

But This Is A Toast,
An English Toast.

Not About Teeth.

Not About Your Teeth?

I Said About The Tea.

Tea.

Whose Tea-Th...

I'm Sorry.

But We'll
Toast, Anyway.