02x24 - Off to the Races

[bunniefuu]

Back From A Triumphant
Day Of Shopping.

Get Everything
You Wanted?

No.

Mmm. Hoagie.

So What Happened?

We Had A Fight
In Grendel's Department Store.

About What?

Mega-Woman.

Mega What?

Mega-Woman.
She's A Doll.

She Can Stop Laser Beams
And Walk Through Walls.

She Has A Galactic Necklace,
A Power Ring

And An Anti-Matter Suit.

Mm-Hmm.

And I Imagine

These Items Are Sold Separately?

And Not Only That

There's A Whole Family Of Them.

There's Mega-Girl
And Mega-Boy.

She's Married To Mega-Man

And They Drive Around
In A Mega-Mobile.

You Should See
What They Cost.

Mega-Bucks.

A Little Doll This Size
Cost $ . .

I Said, "Rudy, I Just
Bought You A Doll.

I'm Not Buying
Another One."

Rudy Had A Mega-Fit.

And I'm Sure
You Took Out

Your Anti-Fit
Galactic Shield

And Saved The Day.

Yes, I Did.

Guess Who
Called Today.

Who?

I'll Give You A Hint.

"Is This Doctor Heathcliff
'Combustible' Huxtable?"

Oh, No.

You Don't Mean
Colonel Turner?

Colonel Sanford B.
"Tailwind" Turner.

You Want Some Mustard?

Gahhhh!

Vanessa Took The Message.

You're
Not

Considering Running
Against This Man Again?

Absolutely.

You Have Such A Short Memory.

Last Year After That Race,
You Spent Three Days In Bed

And I Had To
Fill The Ice Packs

And I Didn't Get Any Sleep

Because Every Time
You Turned Over

I Had To Hear

"Oh, Clair, My Legs.

My Legs, Clair.
Clair, My Legs."

That Was Then.

I Have Been Working Out,
And I Am In Shape.

Look
At Me.

You Look Good.

Okay.

Can I Have
A Napkin?

A Napkin?

I Am Lean

And Mean.

So Why Ruin That...

Why Ruin It By Racing?

The Only Thing I'm Going To Ruin
Is His Pride.

You Did That
Last Year

When You Won.

We Didn't Win.

It Was A Tie.

No, It Wasn't.

You Won.

Hey.

Denise, The Relay Race
I Ran Last Year-

Who Won?

Nobody. It Was A Tie.

I Told You It Was A Tie.

It Was Not.

It Was.

Don't Listen To Her.

She Couldn't Even See
The Finish Line.

Then We'll Play The Tape
Of The Race.

We Don't
Have To.

We Don't Have
To Play The Tape.

Denise.

I Told You Never To Say
It Was A Tie.

Not The Tape.

We Watched It Last Night.

We Don't Need
To See It Again.

Yeah, Dad,
I Was Mistaken.

We've Seen This Tape
, Times.

Is It Still
In One Piece?

Sit Down.

Now...

Turn This Thing On,
And There.

Do You Know

I Had A -Yard Lead
On Him

And He Still
Caught Me.

Watch This.

Look!
You're Winning.

No, No.

You're
Winning.

No, Not Yet.

Here It Comes.

Slow It Down.

* Da Ta-Da Ta-Da Ta-Da *

Bow!

You Won!

Tie!

It Was A Tie.

You Won.

Okay, I'll
Run It Again.

No!

Dad, No!

Hey.

How You
Doing?

I Just Ran
A Tape Of My Race.

How Come Nobody Called Me?

Sit Down.
I'll Run It Again.

I Can't.

I'm Going To Cockroach's.

I'll Drive You.

Bye.

I'm Looking At
The Shape I Was In Then

And I Can See How He Caught Me

But This Year, I Am Ready.

What Are You Trying To Prove?

You're A Bunch Of
Middle-Aged Men

Trying To Recapture Your Youth.

You're As Young As You Feel.

It's All In The Mind.

Then That's Where I'll Put
The Ice Packs Next Time.

That's Him.

If You Want To Race,
You Race

But I'm Out Of It.

Out Of It?

O- U-T Of It.

Huxtable Residence.

Is This Heathcliff Huxtable?

Is This

Tailwind Turner-

The Man I Fought Off
In The Relay Race Last Year?

These Are
The Rules Of Track:

Whoever Crosses
The Finish Line First

Is The Winner.

That Was Me.

I Have News For You.

I'm In Shape This Year.

We're Not Competing.

I Want You To Run With Me
For Charity.

Do What?

Scott Oakley Can't Run.

Will You Replace Him
In The Relay?

Hold The Phone Just One Second.

Dear, He Doesn't Want
To Run Against Me.

He Wants Me To Run...

But He Wants Me
To Run...

It's You And Me Together?

Together At The Penn Relays.

Penn Relays?

Just A Minute.

Dear, It's
The Penn Relays.

He Wants Me To Run With Him
In The Penn Relays.

It's Thousands Of People
Rooting For Me

At The Penn Relays.

All My Life, I've Wanted
To Run In The Penn Relays.

Um...

What Leg?

Anchor Leg.

Just A Minute.

He Wants Me
To Run Anchor Leg.

Dear, That's The Leg
Of Honor And Glory.

In The Pe...

Who Are We Running Against?

That's The Beautiful Part.

You're Running Against
Charlie Stevenson.

Charlie Stevenson Set
The Conference Record

In The Southeast
When We Were In College.

When Did You See Him Last?

It's Got To Be Years,
I Guess, When I Saw Him.

He Was About Five-Ten,
Weighed Pounds

And All Legs.

That's What I Remember.

Now He's Five-Ten Both Ways.

Really?

Well, I'm Sorry. I Need
Some Time To Think It Over.

I Need To Know Now.

I Accept.

Welcome Aboard.

Thank You.

Dear...

Tailwind Turner, The
Fastest Man In The World

Is Going To Hand Off To Me,
Combustible Huxtable-

The Fastest Man In The Universe.

Fast?

Fast.

Faster Than The Speed Of Light?

Faster Than The Speed Of Light.

Good, Then You'll Be
Too Fast For The Camera

And There Won't Be
A Tape.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

Ohh...

Ahh.

Bet You Can Run Fast.

I've Been Known To Do That.

You Know Who Else Can Run Fast?

Who?

Mega-Woman.

I Don't Know Her.

You Would Like Her.

She's Got
Laser Beams...

Really?

And Breathes Underwater.

Oh, She's A Fish.

No, She's
A Woman Like Me.

Can I Have Her?

How Much Does She Cost?

Nine Dollars.

Whoa, That's A Lot Of Money.

If You Get Me This

You'll Never Have To Get Me
Anything Else Again.

If I Buy You This Mega-Woman

I Don't Have To Buy You
Another Gift Or Anything

For The Rest Of My Life?

Right.

I Like This Deal.

Yes, Indeed.

Hi.

Oh, There's Mom.

We'll See What She...

No, No.

You Don't Want Me To Ask
Mom About Mega-Woman?

Oh, Dad.

Rudy, I Already Told You
No Mega-Woman.

I'll Pay For It.

You Don't Have A Job.

I'll Get One.

Doing What?

Cleaning Up My Room.

You Already Do That For Free.

We Could Pay Rudy
For Doing Extra Housework.

What's First?

Paint The Kitchen.

No, No, No.

You Can Start By Helping Me
Clean The Cupboards.

Okay.

I'll Do It For
Nine Dollars.

It Pays Cents.

I'll Take That.

Hey, Mom,
Have You Seen Dad?

He Wanted
To Get Some Sprints In.

He Ran This Morning.

Yes, But The Race Is Tomorrow.

Twice A Day?
Should He Be Doing That?

He's Almost .

He's Just .

Fifty Is Around The Corner.

You're Saying Is Old Age?

Well, Yeah.

Then What's Middle Age?

Um... Twenty-Five.

Then What Does That Make Me?

Just Right.

You'd Better Be Glad
You Said That.

I'm Finished Dusting.

Good.

Can I Have My Cents Now?

As Soon As I Inspect Your Work.

Theo, Give Me A Dollar.

For What?

I Cleaned Your Closet.

Nobody Asked You To.

I Did It.
You Owe Me A Dollar.

Rudy,
I'm Not Giving You A Dollar.

Then I'm Messing It Up.

I'll Mess You Up.

Get Away
From Me!

All Right, You Two.

No Messing Up The Closet
Or Each Other.

Mom, We're Back!

That's Not The Way We Act. You Do.

What's All This?

Dad Was Acting Weird
In The Car.

Weird?

All I Did

Was Act The Way
My Children Act Sometimes

When They're In The Car
And I'm Driving.

She Was
Driving

And I'm Sitting On
The Passenger Side

And I Decided To
Turn The Radio Up Loud.

I Had The Sound Going

So It's Bouncing
All Over The Car.

I Just
Sat There

And I Was Just...

Here's Dad, Okay?

People Were
Staring At Him.

Sounds Like You Had Fun.

You Should Have
Seen Dad.

He Was Great.

Talk Slow. Talk Slow.

He Was Fast.

Hello. What Else?

He Was Real Handsome.

Thank You Very Much.

We Were Very Proud
That He Was Our Dad.

Until He Got
Into The Car.

Thank You
For The Ride.

I Saw Today.

Nineteen?

I Was Resting,
Recovering From My

And This -Year-Old Boy
Was Running The Quarter-

Just Practicing-

And He Went Past Me...

Woosh.

I Just Watched Him.

Nineteen.

And It Had Speed.

It Had Power.

It Had Bounce.

Nineteen.

Cliff, Do You Want
To Be Again?

Only If You'll
Be With Me.

Sure.

The Children Could Be .

Pow!

Ladies And Gentlemen.

Tailwind Turner Hands Off
To Combustible Huxtable.

Pow.

Look At That Stride,
Ladies And Gentlemen.

No One's Ever Seen That Stride
On A Man This Old Before.

And Ladies And Gentlemen...

Kapow...

Cliff.

Yes, Dear?

Honey, What Time Is It?

It's Ten And A Half Hours
Before The Race.

Pow.

Are You Nervous?

No. Just Excited.

Hahhh!

Are You Disappointed That
The Children Won't Be There?

Oh, No

Because I Asked Dr. Morrison
To Film The Whole Thing

From The Time
I Get On The Field

To The Time I Take
My Victory Lap.

So They Can See It
Whenever They Want.

Or You Can See It
Whenever You Want To.

I'm So Excited About Going.

I Could Run Down
To Philadelphia Right Now.

The Only Thing About It Is
The Speed Limit Is

And I Might Get A Ticket.

We Have A Long Drive
Tomorrow, Honey.

We Have To Start Early.

I Don't Need Sleep.

My Body Is Well-Tuned.

Pow.

Yes, I Must Admit
You Are Looking Good.

How Good?

You Are Looking...

Real Good.

Well, I'm Sorry.

I'm An Athlete.

Pow.

Our First
Race Of The Day

Is A One-Mile Relay
For Charity.

The Edward P. Hurt All-Stars
Are In The Blue Jerseys.

The Tuppenny All Stars In Red.

Running The First Leg
For The Edward Hurt Team

Is Ira Davis.

James Hodge Will Start
For The Tuppenny Team.

And They're Off!

Ira Davis Is Challenging
James Hodge.

Now Davis Taking The Lead
For The Edward Hurt Team.

Running Second Leg
For The Edward Hurt Team

Is D'mara Amiyami.

For The Tuppenny Team,
James Burnett.

D'mara Amiyami
Is Opening Up The Lead.

For The Third Leg
Of This Race,

Sanford B. 'Tailwind' Turner

Will Take The Baton For
The Edward Hurt Team,

And He'll Go Against Larry
James Of The Tuppenny Team.

The Anchor Legs Of The Race

Will Be Run By Heathcliff
Huxtable And Charlie Stevenson.

Uh-Oh. Larry James
Has Injured His Leg.

He's Struggling To Get
The Baton To Charlie Stevenson.

Huxtable Moving Out
To A Big Lead.

Wait A Minute.

There Seems To Be A Substitute
For Charlie Stevenson.

We Don't Have The Name
Of The Runner

To Run The Anchor Leg
For The Tuppenny Team.

Huxtable Has A Sizeable Lead.

The Anchor For The Tuppenny
Team Coming On Strong.

Ladies And Gentlemen,
She's Gonna Catch Huxtable.

She Does It.

Oh!

Ladies And Gentlemen, We've
Just Discovered The Anchor

For The Tuppenny Team

Is -Time Olympic Gold Medalist
Valerie Brisco-Hooks.

And Valerie Brisco-Hooks
Crosses The Finish Line

Ahead Of Heathcliff Huxtable.

The Tuppenny Team
Wins The Race.

You..!

I Can't Believe That I Ran
Against An Olympic Champion.

I Think You Should Be
Very Proud Of Yourself.

You Ran A Good Race.

Yes, I Did.

Yes,
You Did.

Yes, I Did.

My Favorite Part
Was The Look On Your Face

When You Realized
It Was A Woman

Who Had
Passed You.

And Then

The Look On Your Face

When You Realized The Woman
Was Valerie Briscoe-Hooks.

Well, They Had To Get

A Three-Time
Olympic Medal Winner

To Beat Me.

And I Want To Know Why
Did That Woman-

When She Passed Me-

Pat Me On My Boom-Boom?

Because She Couldn't Resist
That Fine-Tuned Body.

How Do You Feel
About What They Did To You?

Are You Kidding?

Tailwind Set Me Up So Good.

I Looked At Him.

I Started Laughing.

I Tell You What-

For
Seconds

I Thought The People
Were Cheering For Me.

And Then The Next Seconds,
I Knew They Were Laughing At Me.

I Felt Pretty
Good About It.

Yes?

Who Is It?

It's
Rudy.

Come In.

Mega-Woman Wanted
To Say Good Night.

Good Night, Mega-Woman.

And How Is Mega-Woman
Enjoying Her New Home?

She Likes It, But She's Lonely.

Why?

She Misses Mega-Boy,
Mega-Girl

And Mega-Man.

Well, We Don't Want Mega-Woman
Apart From Her Family

Do We?

No.

So I Think That
Tomorrow...

Yes?

You And I...

Yes?

Will Get Up And Go
Down To The Toy Store...

Yes.

And Give Her Back
To Her Family.

No!