01x12 - The Charitable Countess

[bunniefuu]

You know something?
Society is the same the world over.

You're in if you're either famous,
rich, talented, aristocratic

or notorious.

It's a fact.

All the Social Register
is good for these days

is to find out
who married Mabel's boy.

Tonight the continental chapter
has been invited to a charity ball

in aid of the hordes
of homeless orphans in Rome.

"I piccoli banditi", they call them.

The little bandits.

It would be easier if they gave
the dough direct to the kids,

but this type of charity
doesn't work that way.

A big, fat tax-exempt binge

makes parting with the green stuff
easier to bear.

The (Iontessa Kristina Rovagna
requests the pleasure

of the company
of Signor Simon Templar.

(Shouting in Italian)

(Shouting in distance)

Smptyw
Si! '

OK.

Guido! If you take
from clothes lines...

Pick thin ones!

Mama mia! ls better, huh?

- You like?
- ls beautiful.

For me?!

It is big, but I fix.

I've got nothing, Franco.

I steal camera from tourist,
but he see me!

And when I run away...l drop it.

You come back here with nothing?!

I'm sorry, Franco.

Keep it.

But she's brought nothing!
It is not fair.

I decide what is fair,
Vittorio, not you.

- Have you never had bad luck?
- Sure I have. I've been born!

That goes for us all,
that is why we stick together.

Amici! You stink!

The last dance at Montessori Palace
we get only three spare tyres,

six chauffeurs' wallets,
hub caps and no motor rugs!

You must be quicker, faster.

All the rich people in Rome
will be at the dance tonight,

and I want results.

Are there any questions?

Then, go! And remember our slogan...

If you can lift it, you can steal it.

Oh, and one more thing,

I personally shall look after the car
of our dear friend and benefactor

La Contessa Rovagna.

Come!

(Classical music playing)

Kristina,
you've never looked lovelier.

- Thank you, Simon.
- The dress, necklace... Magnificent.

It is nice, isn't it? Oh, I have
the next dance with Count Alzerno.

He's stone deaf and a terrible bore.

Simon, are you busy later?

Yes, I shall be taking you home.

That's exactly
what I hoped you'd say.

(Door closes and car drives off)

- Home with this.
- What about you?

I fix one more car. Go on, beat it.

Si, but be careful.

It was a tremendous success.

Ah, yes. You did a marvellous job,
Aldo. Thank you so much.

Good night.

You're too gracious, Countess.

- Good night, Mr Templar.
- Good night, Signor Petri.

There's nothing else
you want tonight?

(Countess) Positive.

Good night.

It's a lovely room.

Yes, it's even lovelier
through a champagne glass.

- Wiu you?
“ Why not?

- Tell me something, Kristina.
- Anything.

Why bother with a ball? Couldn't you
collect the money and send a cheque?

Without a ball,
I wouldn't raise a dime.

Nobody gives a hoot
about Father Bellini's children.

You mean it's just sheer snob appeal?

The social climbers
fight to get on my committees.

The "outs" get in the papers
with the "ins".

Besides, it was fun, wasn't it?

Sure, I never saw
so much food and liquor!

Lovely sound. (Giggles)

Ooh, Simon,
I'm a teeny-weeny little bit loaded.

What shall we drink to? To you?

To money.

What will Father Bellini take out
of tonight's bacchanalian booze-up?

You expect me to talk figures
at this hour?

- Just a rough estimate.
- In lira, I need a pencil.

Dollars will do. There were
, guests at bucks a head?

That's close enough.
Gross receipts about $ , .

- How about expenses?
- I try to keep them low.

But you have to serve decent food,
hire a name orchestra. About , .

So in all Father Bellini
will take , bucks.

Give or take a few hundred.

I had no idea it was so much.
Congratulations.

Simon...

I could do so much more
if I had someone like you to help me.

- In what way?
- Nothing too dramatic.

I know you're very busy,
but if you sat on a few committees...

Everybody knows you, your name
would sell carloads of tickets.

Tickets for what?

I've had an appeal from the League
for the Care of Aged incurables.

It's a terribly worthy cause,
sick old people with no place to go.

Anyway, I'm giving a party
on Friday night to discuss plans.

- Would you come?
- I'd love to.

You'll find the work
terribly rewarding.

I'm sure I will.

Excuse me!

What is it, Aldo?

My book. I can't sleep
unless I read for a few minutes.

Especially this late.

- Yes, well, it is four o'clock.
- Don't go, Simon.

I'll see you Friday. What time?

Eight o'clock.

Fine. Thank you for a lovely evening.
And for the champagne.

I'll see myself out.

- You were listening at the door.
- I have a right to know.

You have no rights, Aldo,
just privileges.

That's not strictly true.

Try not to get along without me,
Kristina.

It would make you so unhappy.

(Car engine)

Signor Templar!

(Laughs) Marco de Cesari,
you old thief. How are you?

(Laughing) I am magnificent!
And how are you?

- I'm fine, thanks.
- ls good to see you again.

- It's good to see you.
- The same place?

- Same place.
- All right.

(Laughing)

You look beautiful, signor!

Like a Fred Astaire
and Ginger Rogers musical.

So, where you been tonight?

You know what I like
about Roman taxi drivers, Marco?

- You mind your own business.
- Yes.

Where you been tonight?

A charity ball
at the Montessori Palace.

La Contessa Rovagna, eh?

- Sure, I pick you up at the house.
- You know her?

Everybody in Rome knows La (Iontessa.
She's an angel of mercy.

- What about her husband?
- Oh, the Count. Poor man.

A man of years" old,
he died of unnatural causes.

Oh? What happened?

What always happens when a man of
marries a woman half his age.

Marco, not that?

He was water-skiing
and he hit a rock. (Laughs)

(Car engine)

Look out!

(Boy screams)

Signor, he ran right in front of me!

Out of nowhere!
I didn't even see him!

Now, this won't hurt.

It's just a sedative,
to make you sleep, huh?

(Sighs)

- He will be all right.
- You're sure?

Shock, a few bruises. Nothing more.

Thanks for getting here so quickly.
Sorry to have dragged you out of bed.

- You're welcome.
- Arrivederla.

Good night.

- Now, then. What's your name?
- Franco.

- Franco what?
- just Franco.

All right, just Franco,
where do you live?

- Why?
- So we can tell the police.

Shut up, Marco! Give him a chance.

You live with your parents?

My papa is Tarzan
and my mama is Gina Lollobrigida(!)

You see? You are too soft with him!

He steal! He steal, er,
spare tyres, motor rug...

- Knock it off, Marco.
- He is piccolo bandito.

So send me to jail. I am not afraid.

Nobody is going to send you to jail.
I promise.

- You do?
- Word of honour.

OK, you keep spare tyre,
I keep motor rug.

- There's no need to bribe me.
- I keep both?!

Why not? You stole them.

- Is very fair.
- You see? He admits everything.

He's what you call... He's a
delinquent, a delinquent juvenile!

Marco, he is only years old.
Now, leave him alone.

Or maybe you'd like to go to jail
for drunken driving?

Me? Marco de Cesari?

Then lay off my friend.

(Mutters in Italian)

- You hungry?
- Si.

(Ian I go now, signor?

Sure, if you want to.
But it's . am.

Tell you what, I'll fix you something
to eat, then you can go if you want.

Maybe, signor, if you let me,
I stay till the morning.

Then I... Then I go.

- OK?
- OK.

OK.

So now you know what?

He is here for life!

years from now
he's still lying on your sofa!

He drink your liquor,
borrow your women.

In years he's welcome to them.

You will pay and he take!

Marco, look at him.

- Look at his skin, what do you see?
- Dirt.

No, under the dirt. The pallor.
You know what's wrong?

- He's a thief.
- No...

He's skin and bone.

I'm no doctor, but I know
malnutrition when I see it.

He is starved?

(Sighs) So what are we going to do?

I'm not sure.

In the morning
I'll call Father Bellini.

Yes, Signor Templar,
we can always find room for one more.

Er, any time you wish.

Arrivederla, signor.

(Knock at door)

Entare!

- Countess! What a surprise.
- Good morning, Father.

Please, sit down. Coffee is
almost ready. You will have some?

- And some fresh, hot bread!
- Not this morning, Father.

As you wish.

I read the reports of your ball.
It sounded very grand.

You should have been there.

I resisted the temptation
with great effort! Was it a success?

Oh, I think so.

But see for yourself.

- I can't believe it.
- It's true.

It is a fortune. What can I say?

How can I possibly thank you?

You don't have to.
I only wish it were more.

More? My dear countess, you have
no idea the good that can be done,

the children that can be cared for
with $ , .

Franco, do you trust me?

No.

That's honest enough.

Have you never lived
with your parents?

No.

- Well, who brought you up?
- Me.

Don't you think you'd be better off
in Father Bellini's mission?

Yes, but Father Bellini cannot take
every piccolo bandito in Rome.

He'll take you.

- You asked him?
- Mm-hm, this morning.

- He say yes?
- That's right.

No. I cannot go.

You see, I have responsibilities.

Such as?

Well, I have a g*ng,
and they rely on me.

Especially Angelina.

Oh, I see. Angelina.

Far be it from me to come between
a gangster and his moll.

- You laugh at me?
- No, Franco.

I understand.

Ecco le!

- Marco, you get everything?
- Everything.

But I have to guess the size
so I get everything too big.

Hey-hey, pretty snazzy-jazzy, eh?

You be the best-dressed
delinquent juvenile in Rome.

That is for me?

Mm-hm. Finished breakfast?

One more mouthful, I burst.

He got a good appetite, eh?

Five eggs, six slices of toast,
half a pound of bacon,

but who's counting?

And two bananas.

Hey, you got
a built-in garbage disposal.

(Ian I try the clothes, signor?

You're gonna have a bath first.

A bath with water?!

(Templar) That's the usual way.

But they are not good for the health!

- Grab him, Marco!
- (Franco screaming)

(Marco laughing and singing)

(Sobbing)

Shut up, Angelina!
What good is crying?

I ask all over town,
no one see a sign of him.

- The police have him.
- I think maybe.

So, now I am leader. When one man
gets caught the others go on.

Even if he never comes back,
always the leader is Franco.

(imitates aeroplane)

(imitates expl*si*n)

(Laughing) You missed.

- I wanted to!
- Liar.

You try.

All right.

Now... (Chuckles)

The big bomber.

(imitates aeroplane)

(stops)

You think I got all day
to play games?!

You been in the tub an hour,
now wash!

- No.
- Wash.

- Make me.
- All right.

You ask for it.

Signor, please, I give you the tyre!

You think you can bribe me?

The spare tyre and motor rug!

- Both?
- Si, signor.

OK, you got a deal.
Now, hurry up and get out.

This bath it is lovely,
the very first time with hot water.

Sure, but come on, get out.

Come on, come on, hurry.

Signor, the plug, it is stuck!

Nonsense, how can the plug be stuck?

What goes in must come out.

Piccolo bandito!

Not bad.

We'll clear very close to $ , .

Exactly what I estimated.

Yes?

Kristina...

with my organising ability
and your title,

we don't need Templar.

Are you afraid of him?

Not a bit.

Then what's your objection?

His notoriety
will sell hundreds of tickets.

Call the papers and say he's going
to be co-chairman of my next ball.

Franco we can find room for, but...

his whole g*ng?

There are only eight of us, Father.

You can count on me
for bunks and lockers.

You're very kind, Signor Templar.
Very well, you can come.

Thank you, Father.
You too, Signor Templar.

- You're welcome.
- Wait outside.

Yes, Father.

Oh...there is one more thing.

- Yes, my son?
- Signor Templar has been very kind.

And through force of habit, you see,
I...l am ashamed.

When?

In the taxi.

- What's funny?
- I tell you...

You, the great,
the famous Simon Templar,

and a little boy of
can pick your pocket. (Laughing)

Oh, Franco, Franco, I love you!

That is good, signor.

(Shouting in Italian)

I am sorry, Signor Marco.

You understand,
all my life I do these things.

It is hard for me
to stop all at once. Forgive me.

Franco! It is the forgiveness of God
you must ask.

To steal is a sin.

Surely, God has heard the expression
that Rome was not built in a day?

Wait outside, Franco.

(Door closes)

(Laughs) He's irresistible!

Not to me!

He is not bad at heart, signor.

He steals through ignorance,
poverty...

and despair.

And there are thousands
like him in Rome.

Homeless, hungry,
desperate little savages.

In a way, it's a terrible indictment
against our society

that so few people really care.

Of course, there are some
who see the need and try to meet it.

Like Contessa Rovagna.

- You know her?
- Mm-hm.

A truly Christian woman
with a generous heart.

This very morning
she gave me a cheque for $ , .

$ , ?

Yes, it's true.

The proceeds from her charity ball.

The largest donation
this mission has ever received.

- Wonderful, huh?
- Yes, it certainly is.

In fact, it's downright amazing.

May I ask what you want
to see the Countess about?

Just tell her I'm here.

Simon! Darling!
What a charming surprise.

- There's more to come.
- Really?

Why didn't you tell me, Maggie, dear?

What did you call her?

- You mean he doesn't know?
- Know what?

Oh! He's in on the charity racket,

but you haven't told him
about your purple past?

Well, I will.

Aldo, my boy, the Contessa
is what they call in America

a very busy broad.

Signor Templar,
I don't like your tone of voice.

Aldo, please don't get nasty.

Otherwise, I'll have to beat you up
and make a mess of this room.

And it is a beautiful room.

What did the furniture cost, Maggie?

... thousand?

Hello, what have we got here?

Hmm... This is a fake.

The devil! I paid , ...!

Ah-ah! Remember,
you are a lady now, Maggie.

She wasn't always, of course.

In fact she was born plain
Maggie Oaks of Weehawken, New jersey.

The Park Avenue accent is acquired.

Kristina, is this true?

Yes, now sit down and shut up.

That's right, Aldo, do as you're told
and your uncle will tell you all.

Our Maggie was a precocious tyke,

by the time she was
she was bumping and grinding her way

through all
the New jersey nightspots.

Sit down, Aldo,
there is more to come.

Miss Oaks was a maid with big ideas.

Using everything she had,
and she had a lot of everything,

she landed
in the Folies Bergére in Paris,

where one night the Count Rovagna
saw her in her pearls and a tassle

and he decided
that she was definitely his dish.

Am I boring you, Maggie?

- Not a bit.
- Good.

Anyway, Aldo,
she married the count in good faith,

and faithful she remained.

The count, at ,
had survived four previous marriages

and Maggie figured the wear and tear
had taken its toll.

However, the count fooled her.
He seemed indestructible.

He went through astonishing stages
of senility. Didn't he?

And how.

Five years ago, when the count
at last had the decency to kick off,

our Maggie was miserable.

- Weren't you, pet?
- Utterly.

Especially when she found he had an
income which stopped with his death.

- Bet you were wild, huh?
- Diabolically.

She had some fur coats,
old jewellery,

a derelict castle
mortgaged to its moat

and about lira in hard cash.

However, the charms which were
such an asset were well preserved,

and in her bones was the stern marrow
of Weehawken, New jersey.

It's still there.

I'll bet.

What else did she have left?
A genuine title,

a solid social position...

and her figure.

How do you do it, Maggie?

It ain't easy.

The vats of champagne,
the cargoes of caviar

that have slid down your gullet.

Your metabolism
must be absolutely marvellous.

Now, where was I?
Oh, yes, Maggie's resources.

She worked out an excellent
solution - the charity ball.

The idea's old hat in New York,
but new to Rome.

Do you know what she did once, Aldo?

She sponsored a luncheon
for the prosecution of immorality

and that night,
a ball in aid of unmarried mothers.

Such dexterity is not to be believed.

All right, we get the point.

I haven't made the point yet,
Maggie, dear.

I'm being so long-winded because Aldo
has a brain the size of an olive.

I don't want to over-tax it.

Shall I throw him out?

This I've gotta see.

Is your insurance paid up, Aldo?

As a means of a livelihood,
Maggie's charities were sensational.

Restaurants fought for her patronage.

And always kicked back
% of the total bill.

Aah, she's been holding out on you.
The game is up.

- Is it?
- Yes.

You're beautiful,
brilliant and I adore you,

but I'm gonna rap your knuckles.

You've danced long enough,
now you pay the piper.

The piper being you.

Exactly.

I see. I'm to be fined
for my misdeeds?

You get the point.

This is blackmail!

Shut up
or I'll throw something at you!

Temper, temper, Maggie.
Let's be civilised.

- Or specific.
- Suits me.

The point is, I resent you.

You've collected , bucks,
supposedly for Father Bellini.

Your expenses came to grand.
minus equals .

Yet you gave
the good Father only nine.

What I want to know is
where is the other , clams?

Guess.

In your bank account.

- So?
- I want it.

You're crazy. Do you really think
that I'll give you $ , ?

Mm-hm. Which I shall give
to Father Bellini.

And it needn't cost you a cent.

How do you figure that?

That diamond necklace of yours.

Even in the limited markets I could
take it to it would fetch , .

You could have an imitation necklace
made and no one would know.

Simon, darling, I won't thr*aten you
with the police, you'd only laugh,

but I'm not giving you a dime.

And if you want my diamond necklace
you'll have to steal it.

- Is that a challenge?
- If you like.

- Then it's a deal.
- Great.

You'll be in jail so fast
your head'll swim.

- Think so?
- Oh, Simon, you're very handsome,

and you've quite a reputation,

but you can't bluff me, honey.

- You're a fraud.
- Takes one to know one, Maggie.

- I'll steal it on one condition.
- What condition?

Aldo, please don't try and keep up,
you'll collapse.

One condition. None of this
must interfere with our friendship.

It won't, as far as I'm concerned.

Good, then I take it my invitation
to dinner next Friday still holds?

Sure, if you're not
in the local pokey.

I won't be.

Oh, Maggie, you won't mind
a little publicity?

Not about your secrets
but about our wager?

Darling, I never mind publicity.
just play fair.

I always play fair.

So long. You're a wicked woman,
but a good sport.

Aldo...you can talk now. Ciao.

You're both...mad.

He is absolutely divine.

Do you know, I think
after I've made him a laughing stock

I just may marry him.

And what about your necklace?

Simon Templar has as much chance
of stealing my necklace

as he has of stealing the Vatican.

OK?

Signor, when do you plan to steal it?

I haven't decided,
probably at the dinner on Friday.

- With the guests?
- Presumably.

- The police chief is going.
- The more the merrier.

- The Contessa agreed?
- For charity.

- She will keep her word?
- Of course, she is a great lady.

- And a great sport.
- She does wonderful things.

- Fantastic things.
- One more, Signor Templar?

Why not?

Well, he's a mixture, darling.
Brute strength and tender finesse.

Yes, you'll meet him on Friday.

All right, then. Bye!

The Chief of Police is outside.

The Chief of Police is inside.

Enrico, how nice to see you.

Now, Kristina, is this true,
this nonsense about your necklace?

Well, of course it's true.

It is idiotic exhibitionism
and I absolutely forbid it.

You can't, darling.
No laws have been broken yet.

And I can absolutely guarantee

that Simon Templar
will not steal my necklace.

What makes you so certain?

- You.
- Me?

Enrico, you'd like to catch him,
wouldn't you?

So would half the police of Europe.

Could your detectives
pass as waiters?

- That could be arranged.
- They won't look like detectives?

Kristina, I have plain-clothes
detectives on my staff.

I can't guarantee
every one can serve caviar!

So long as they're not too gauche.
And not too many. Four is plenty.

I don't want to
frighten Mr Templar off.

I will see to it that Captain Romelli
handles the matter personally.

Oh, you are sweet, Enrico.

Thank you, Kristina.

I will see you on Friday.
Arrivederci.

This came for you, (Iontessa.

Oh, I've been waiting for this.

What is it?

The obvious solution.

So obvious that only I thought of it.

(GBSPS) Isn't it perfect!

An exact copy.

It's worth...$ .

I don't see the point of all this.

The point, dear Aldo,
is I am enjoying myself.

Now, please go someplace
and use your brain.

That's what I'm paying you for.

Hmm.

(Marco tutting)

But...what happens
if you get caught in the act?!

You get maybe years in prison.

Let's look on the bright side.

All right,
you get five years in prison.

The bright side is
Father Bellini gets $ , .

There's one problem.
He won't accept stolen goods,

so how do I get money
for the necklace without stealing it?

Franco, when I said your whole g*ng,
I didn't know one of them was a girl.

That makes a difference?

I'm afraid so. There's no
accommodation here for girls.

- But where will she go?
- In the convent.

- I... I cannot.
- You must be reasonable.

Father, I try,
but Angelina, she depend on me.

Franco, I am sorry,
but it is impossible.

Then I do not want to come.

Listen to me,

you are a bright boy,
you have a good mind.

You can have a real future.

Grow up to be a man
who really means something.

Father, l...l like you.
You are kind...and gentle.

But it is all of us or none of us!

Franco!

(Telephone rings)

- Father Bellini.
- Father? This is Simon Templar.

Fine, thanks.
I'd like to speak to Franco.

He's not?

Do you know where he is?

I need his help and yours.

I'll be over right away.

Come on!

Good, huh?

Mmm! Franco? Why you come back?

You do not want
to live in the mission?

I got bored, so I quit.

L...miss you. We all did!

Angelina, shut up
and eat your chicken.

Yes, Franco.

- Did you really miss me?
- Every minute.

- Then you're crazy.
- Yes, Franco.

Womenc)

(Templar) May I come in?

Father Bellini said
I might find you here.

We don't need help from you.
Mind your own business!

Shut up, Vittorio.

I am sorry, Signor Templar.
He has no manners.

Come in, please.

What happened to the new clothes?

I sold them.
Angelina is eating a shirt.

Guido, the pants.

And Vittorio and I
are eating the shoes.

Hmm. Well, I've had a long talk
with Father Bellini

and everybody
can stay at the mission.

Including the person we mentioned.

- Really?! Angelina?!
- Mm-hm.

It won't be too crowded?

Not after Friday.

Friday you steal
the necklace of La (Iontessa.

Mm-hm. Gather round everybody,
I'm planning a little surprise...

(Polite chatter and light music)

Four armed detectives
and the chief of police?!

- How will he do it?
- He won't.

Signor and Signora Vespa.

Louisa, darling!

Enrico, how nice.

- You're looking very well, Count.
- Eh?

- You're looking very well!
- Oh! (Laughs)

Where is he?

- He's backed out.
- What?

Imagine, the Saint welched on a bet!
It's too marvellous!

(Butler) Signor Simon Templar!

Simon, darling!
I thought you'd probably left town.

I probably will, with your necklace.

Come and meet some lovely people.

La Signora Vespa.

(Speaks Italian)

- And her husband. Simon Templar.
- How do you do?

- Enrico's been dying to meet you.
- I'm sure he has.

Count Alzerno, Simon Templar.

- Pleased to meet you, sir.
- Eh?

- Pleased to meet you!
- Why do you want to beat me?

He's as deaf as a post and a terrible
bore but filthy rich so just smile.

(Laughfi)

Oh! My good friend
the Princess de Ribes.

Princess. A lovely necklace.

(General chatter)

Are you superstitious,
Signor Templar?

Not particularly, why?

There are people at the table.
For somebody that's very bad luck.

I wonder who.

Offhand, signora,
I would say La (Iontessa.

- Simon, darling!
- Yes, Kristina?

- I take it you're backing down.
- Why?

Darling, we can't sit here all night.
Why don't you admit you're licked?

So, who's licked?

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe
you're expecting a stick-up.

- This is it.
- He threatens us with a g*n!

Arrest him at once!

This is exciting!

What are you waiting for?
I order you to arrest Signor Templar!

Wh...eh...? What is this?!

(Enrico) How dare you disobey me!

It's quite simple,
police headquarters had a call

saying the party was cancelled.

These are friends of mine.
Until recently they were stuntmen.

Kristina, but it's quite magnificent!

Control yourself, Princess.
Your turn is coming.

(Snoring)

M'lady. These'll do very nicely.

Signora?

And now, Kristina, your necklace.

Thank you. I shall never forget this.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have not
quite been the victims of a hold-up.

(Clicking)

(All muttering)

You came here tonight to discuss
helping the incurable aged.

Instead, I would like you to consider
the plight of the curable young.

Come in, Franco.

(Speaks Italian)

Yes, Princess, you're right.

They are poor.

Poor beyond anything any of you here
can possibly imagine.

They exist by stealing,
as Signor Vespa knows.

What you've eaten tonight
would feed Franco for a full week.

And they're all the same,
hungry most of the time.

So when they're hungry, they steal.

Now they've arrived
at a crossroad in their lives.

One road leads deeper
into crime and degradation,

the other leads them
into a decent future.

A chance to amount to something.

It's a chance society
seems reluctant to give them.

Only last week the Contessa gave
a charity ball for Father Bellini!

That's true, signor.

But the proceeds
fell short of their objective

by almost precisely the value
of La (Iontessa's diamond necklace.

Isn't that true, Kristina?

We were disappointed, yes.

You all bought tickets.

You all attended.

Now I am asking you to give
just a little bit more.

Guido was so brutally beaten
by his stepfather

he'll carry scars
the rest of his life.

Angelina, her mother k*lled herself.

Franco...he never knew his parents.

They all have the same story -

never any home life, never any love.

Father Bellini quoted me something,

which far more eloquently pleads
their case than my words.

"In as much as ye have done it
to the least of these my children,

"ye have done it unto me."

OK, kids, thanks.

Come along, children.

(Snoring)

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to sell these
for the benefit of the children.

However, if you object strongly
to what has happened, be my guest.

However, before you do,
please consider just for one moment

how very little
these trinkets mean in your lives

and how very much
they can mean to them.

Thank you very much.

Bravo! Magnifico! Magnifico!

Kristina, it has been
a most wonderful evening.

- You may certainly keep my jewels.
- But it is priceless!

Quiet, Enrico.
And keep my necklace and earrings.

Goodbye, Kristina!

- Good night.
- Good night.

- It was a wonderful evening.
- Ciao!

(Man) Goodbye, Kristina.

Now, Maggie, I'll have the real one.

Don't be ridiculous.

Kristina, you've no choice.

I'm not going to knuckle under
to blackmail.

I have a great deal more intelligence
than you give me credit for.

Let us assess the situation.

The tiara and necklace
from Lady Blenwick.

The diamonds
from the Princess of Ribes.

And from you
a $ string of cut glass.

The world hates welchers.

If you welch on this bet,
you'll be laughed out of Rome.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

You're absolutely right, get it.

Yes...Countess.

Well, you've won but I shall
get even with you next time.

- Maggie, you're a real sport.
- I'll drink to that.

To you. Maggie,
you're a very charitable countess.