02x04 - Best Seller/The Tomb

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Fantasy Island". Aired: January 14, 1977 – May 19, 1984.*
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Guests are granted so-called "fantasies" on the island for a price.
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02x04 - Best Seller/The Tomb

Post by bunniefuu »

The plane! The plane!

Good morning, boss.

Good morn...

What are you doing
with a mail sack, tattoo?

I want to make sure
these get on the plane.

Oh?

Yes, they are my entries

For the prune
whammies jingle contest.

Prune whammies?

Yes, it's a new
breakfast cereal.

Oh, I see.

Listen to this, boss.

If you get up in the morning,
and you feel real slow,

Pick up a bowl of prune whammy

And it will make
you go go go go.

Marvelous.

I'm only trying
for second prize.

Indeed, and what
is the second prize?

A full length mink coat.

A mink coat?

What are you going
to do with a mink coat

On a tropical island?

Boss, you've got to be kidding.

Smiles, everyone! Smiles.

Mr. Barney t. Hunter,
st. Louis, missouri.

He works in a bookstore.

What's his fantasy?

Oh, he wants to
be a famous author.

Everybody wants to be.
They make a lot of money.

Well, mr. Hunter isn't the
slightest bit interested

In money, tattoo.

Not interested in
money? That's incredible.

Perhaps, tattoo, but you see,

Mr. Hunter suffers
from incurable shyness.

What he wants is
something he feels

He'll never get
in the real world.

He's interested in just
once feeling adulation.

The kind he has seen best
selling author's receive.

For this weekend,

Mr. Hunter wants to
know what it feels like

To be... Hemingway or steinbeck.

Or harold robbins.

Professor neville marlow
and his daughter jill,

With his associate,
mr. Abdul kamil.

A professor, that's nice.
Bring some class around here.

What kind of professor
is he? What's his fantasy?

Archeology and egyptology.

But it's his daughter's
fantasy, not his.

You see in years of exploring,

The professor has never
made an important discovery.

And she wants him to make
an important discovery

On fantasy island?

Yes.

That's impossible.

Oh, is it really, my friend?

And why would I send him a cable

Requesting him to come on a
most confidential matter, huh?

My dear guests,

I am mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to fantasy island.

Oh, mr. Roarke.

How are you, mr. Hunter?

Ah, you want to know

If we can really make
you a famous writer.

Then I guess I do.

Well, rest assured,
we already have.

And a best seller too.

Yes.

Best seller?

Yes, written by
barney t. Hunter.

Published in europe
just one month ago.

It's taken the
continent by storm.

The fantasy island book
shop has sold out 5 times.

Yes, as you can see it's
just the sort of book

To make it's author an
overnight sensation.

Ah, something wrong, mr. Hunter?

My best seller, the title.

"Sex can make you immortal."

Yes, sex and immortality.

Two very popular
subjects wrapped into one.

Written by the king of
sex. Barney t. Hunter.

Me? King of sex?

But of course, mr. Hunter.

At least that's how
you've been billed

At your autograph
party this afternoon.

Should make for some
rather interesting questions

From your readers.

Well, uh, what
sort of questions?

Well, you know, wanting to know

What barney t.
Hunter is really like.

And how did you
do your research.

Mr. Roarke...

I don't know how
to say this but...

Well, I couldn't have
written this book.

Oh, a man of the world like you?

That's just it, I'm not
a man of the world.

I had a very strict upbringing.

How could I have
written a best seller

About... What I've never...

Did you goof this time, boss?

Ah, believe me, mr. Hunter,
there is no reason to be upset.

Just study this book, and
by the time you're through,

You will be just as
expert as your readers.

But there's no hurry,
enjoy your lunch,

And when you're through, we
will show you to your bungalow.

Will you excuse us. Tattoo.

Amazing, amazing.

This confirms an ancient
legend, but mr. Roarke,

Where did you find these?

Oh, in the desert a
few miles from here.

Ah, confirms what
legend, professor?

Are these really important?

I was so afraid I might waste
your time inviting you here.

Important?

This could be the
greatest archeological find

Of the past 50 years.

The legend, mr. Roarke,
is that the pharaoh,

King tutankhamen
of ancient egypt,

Had a twin brother.

Every archeologist
knows about it,

But there's never been
any proof until now.

Impossible.

Ah, how intriguing.

And it's all there in
those hieroglyphics?

Enough of it is, yes.

These writings were put
down in the 14th century b.c.

They tell of twin brothers.
Tutankhamen and nakenato.

Only one pharaoh
could ascend the throne

So the other twin was banished.

Set adrift in a
canoe made of reeds.

Accompanied only by a
few faithful servants

And some funeral artifacts.

Obviously he was not expected
to survive the ocean voyage.

How awful.

Who would send a little
boy to his death like that?

I mean, he must have
been just a little boy.

Tutankhamen was only 9
years old when he became king.

His twin was exactly that
age when he was banished.

Mr. Roarke, with your
permission of course,

I'll need some work
men, some equipment,

Some vehicles, provisions.

Yes, yes, yes. Just in case
these did mean something,

I took the liberty of
making certain preparations

And everything you need

Will be ready for your
expedition within an hour.

Thank you,
mr. Roarke. Thank you.

Well, that's quite a layout.

Well, I am very glad
you are pleased.

Will you be taking us to the
sites yourself, mr. Roarke?

Oh, no, I'm afraid I can't.

But this young man knows
the location exactly.

Professor marlow, miss
marlow, mr. Abdul kamil,

May I present aki.

Let's get started, shall we?

[Engine starts]

Boss, you are sending
them on a wild goose chase.

Can you be so sure, my friend?

Lucretia...

Lucretia smith.

Uh-huh. Ok.

I really loved your
book, mr. Hunter.

Especially chapter 10.

Chapter 10, ah...

Let's see chapter 10, ah.

That's the chapter
on... Oh, frigidity.

You writers are
always so perceptive.

[Clears throat]

Here you go, lucretia.

I'm audrey.

And I'm janice.

Hi. My bungalow or yours?

Oh, don't listen to her.

I beg your pardon?

How about you and me
having a little action,

You gorgeous hunk?

The kind you write
about in chapter six.

Ah, chapter six, oh,
chapter six that's about...

Oh, my gosh.

[Laughs] you better believe it.

That's why you'd have
much more fun with me.

How about it, honey?

You and me after
you finish here?

Ah, maybe we could talk later?
There are other people waiting.

Um, you'll see us later.

See you later.

Ah, ladies.

I know you must be disappointed,

But maybe I could
be of some help?

You?

Of course.

You see only a few people know

That I'm mr. Hunter's
main researcher.

Everything he
writes comes from me.

Um, would you sign
my book, dr. Hunter?

I'm not a doctor.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just thought that well,

Since you were so
knowledgeable...

I just assumed...

Your name?

Um, angela. Angela brennen.

It's a beautiful name.

Oh, there you are.

I have been looking
all over for you.

Now you didn't throw
away good money

On that piece of filth did you?

Ah, mother I'd like you to
meet the author of the book.

Mr. Hunter.

Angela return that book to
this shameless sex merchant.

Immediately.

Smut monger.

Shame on you.

Come, angela. Come angela, come.

We should stay here tonight.

Just over there is where the
pieces of pottery were found.

Professor, this is bad country.

Nonsense, abdul.

We've been in worse
places than this.

Yes, but I feel, I feel
something evil here.

I'm afraid for miss jill.

If there was indeed a
twin named nakenaton,

And if we find his
tomb, and if we open it...

Of course we'll open
it, if and when we find it.

Now, abdul...

You're not going to
bring up those old stories

About there being
a curse on anyone

Who opens a pharaoh's tomb.

But the curse is
real, little one.

Terrible things occurred

When tutankhamen's
tomb was violated in 1924.

Lord carnavron died
from a mosquito bite.

A photographer also
died. And the lady reporter.

And don't forget
the howling dog.

Yes, a dog howled three
times before each of them died.

And the workmen,
two of them went mad

And k*lled their
entire families.

Three others wandered
off into the desert

And poof disappeared.

Professor, the tent
will be ready soon.

Oh, thank you, aki.
Something else, aki?

One of the men, the one who
drove the second vehicle.

He's disappeared.

Disappeared? In the
middle of the desert?

Tomb of a twin.

Especially a banished one...

Is cursed tenfold.

It's no use, jill. We
won't find anything here.

I was a fool to bring us
half way around the world.

Oh, dad, don't give up. Not yet.

It's futile, I tell you. Futile.

Come to think of it,

It's the word
for my entire life.

Maybe abdul was right,
maybe there is a curse.

A real curse on my career.

From all my research work,

I would say that
your romantic urges

Are very active.

You can say that again.

Your approach to
love is very intense,

And it's ecstatic.

You can say that again.

I could tell you more if
you could come to my place.

I'm having a party tonight.

Oh, that sounds terrific.

If I'm not there in two hours,

Go ahead and start without me.

Mr. Hunter?

Yes. Uh-huh?

Is sex really as beneficial
as your book claims?

Ah, well, that all depends.

On uh, the two people.

Excuse me.

Yes.

Mr. Hunter, would you
autograph my book?

Oh...

I'm liz.

Sure.

Autograph it in
lipstick. If you don't mind.

It's more freudian.

It's disgusting the way women
throw themselves at him.

He's a famous author.

He's got beady eyes.

And besides people
who write such books

Should be put in jail.

Just because you're
opposed to sex.

Opposed to sex?
I had you didn't i?

There you go, liz.

Thank you.

Bye bye.

Oh, i, uh no, no, thank you.

Oh, go ahead, barney. It
will get you in the mood.

Yeah.

Mood for what?

The mood for you and
me and chapter sex... Six.

Not her me.

What's chapter six?

[Both] look it up!!

Oh, all right.

You wouldn't want
to hurt my feelings,

Would you, barney baby?

How about a little
later, barney?

Chapter five,
chapter six. Here it is.

Wow, you do that?

Ladies, I'm afraid you
don't understand...

Yes, I do...

Oh, mr. Hunter.

Oh, there's that nice
pediatrician I want you to meet.

Angela, where are you going?

I've got to go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.

No, which chapters
should I read?

Any chapter you want.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

It's my fault, I sort
of did it on purpose.

Not bumping into you.

But I came here just
because I wanted to see you.

You did?

I was hoping we'd
get a chance to talk.

So was i.

Uh, here comes my mother.

Meet me tomorrow.

Where?

The lagoon, 12 o'clock.

I'll try.

Animal!

There he is!! I told
you we could trap him!

[Screams]

No! No!

Jill! Jill, wake up!

Jill, wake up. It's all
right, it's all right.

Oh, I had an awful dream.

It's all right.

Oh, I was dead in
an egyptian tomb,

And they were mummifying me.

They were wrapping me
in those strips of cloth,

And, oh...

It's all right,
honey. It's all right.

It's the cloth they
wrap mummies in.

No, that's not possible!

Jill, jill, tell me
about your dream.

Oh, well, ah...

I was all in gold, and
my face was painted,

And I could see the hands,
and they were wrapping me,

And I could see the tomb itself.

Dad, I could see the rock

With a priest standing on
it and pointing at the tomb.

The rock? What rock?

That rock, the tall
one right there.

Aki, wake the men,
have them prepare.

We start a new dig at dawn.

Over there at the
base of that hill.

[Painful scream]

What happened, aki, is he hurt?

No, sir. Only a small
wound to his foot.

I'll get the first aid kit.

Let's have a look at that.

Get the shoe off.

Professor.

Huh?

I believe what you
seek has been found.

It's the tomb. Just where
your dream sent us.

All right that's good
enough, that's good enough.

Let me get down here.

Wait till I get this bar in.

All right, go up.

Stay away, everybody!

[Coughing]

All right get them out
quickly. Move! Don't be afraid!

It's perfectly safe now hurry.

Bring him up.

It's dead air, people trapped
in a sealed tomb for centuries

All they need is some fresh air.

16 Steps.

The exact number outside
the tomb of king tut.

They're here,
abdul. They're here.

The seals of the
royal acropolis.

18Th dynasty.

This has to be it. Has to be it.

Abdul, bring two crowbars.

Aki?

Here, professor.

Thank you.

Jill, bring flashlights.

Professor, please,
do not go in there.

Abdul, abdul, my friend, we've
been together a long time.

This is probably the most
important moment of our lives.

You don't have to share
it if you don't want to,

But I don't want to hear
any more talk about curses.

Traditional barge.

Carry the young king safely
through the next world.

Yes, there's no doubt about it.

We are in the tomb of nakenaton.

[Voices murmuring]

There are things wrong
outside. I will find out.

Once the boy was set
adrift in a reed boat,

He would have carried
nothing but his personal jewelry

If he had any.

The burial tomb must be
behind one of these walls.

I don't see any,

I mean there aren't any bones
or skeletons around here.

No one but the pharaoh is
permitted to remain in the tomb.

The servants seal the
king in his burial chamber,

Close the outside door,
and go into the desert to die.

Abdul you're getting
your voice back.

You must be feeling
better about things, eh?

Nom professor, I do not.

The two who coughed
when the tomb was opened,

They are very sick.

Also the one who
struck his foot with a pick,

He is feverish.

They say it is because
of the pharaoh's curse.

That's ridiculous. I
want you to tell them...

I can't tell them anything.
They have gone professor.

To take back those who are sick.

All of them gone?
With all of the vehicles?

The jeep is here, professor.

With food and water
and extra provisions.

We're trapped!

Oh, mr. Roarke, there you are.

I just wanted to thank you
for fulfilling my fantasy.

Oh, is poopsy behaving himself?

Oh, he is a perfect
gentleman now.

But it took you to make him
finally stop chasing kitty cats.

Now my little sweetums
will not run out in the street

And get hit by a nasty old car.

Aw, mrs. Howard, I am very
happy I was able to teach poopsy

Respect for his
furry little cousins.

Right, poopsy?
No more kitty cats.

Wave bye bye to
mr. Roarke, poopsy.

Bye bye.

Bye bye, poopsy.

Boss, how did you do it?

How did you stop poopsy
from chasing kitty cats?

Oh, it was really
quite simple, tattoo.

I merely allowed poopsy to
catch one of those kitty cats.

[Growl]

Nice kitty, nice kitty.

[Growl]

It's never happened
this way before.

I just met you.

Suddenly I want to know
everything about you.

Well, when you're born
and raised in cedar rapids,

There's really not much to know.

Well, for all I know,
you could be married.

No.

Engaged?

No.

My mother's been
trying to match me up

With this well to
do pediatrician.

He's really nice, but
he's also really dull.

Angela, I know this
may sound crazy.

Could I ask you a
delicate question?

Uh, I don't believe
in pre-marital sex.

I don't believe in it either.

Now you're making fun of me.

No.

But you're one of the world's
foremost experts on sex.

I mean you didn't just sit
down and write a book like that

From your imagination.

Angela, you've
got to believe me,

Before I came to this island,

I wouldn't even
have had the nerve

To talk to a girl like you.

Mr. Roarke, he's
really something.

What do you mean?

Me. How shy I am.

Mr. Roarke knew
just what subject

My book should be about.

I don't follow you.

Well, that's not important.

There's an explanation, I
just can't tell you right now.

What is important
is I think I love you.

That light may be going out,

But at least there's
fresh air coming in.

I'll try to enlarge the hole.
Maybe I can get us out of here.

Oh, wait abdul. You're worn out.

Sit down, we all
could use some rest.

Mr. Roarke will
send someone for us

As soon as he sees that
the workmen have left.

They will not go to him, miss.

They will return to their
homes in the back country.

It will be a long time before
mr. Roarke learns about them.

No food, no water,

And the extra batteries
are outside in the jeep.

[Dog howling]

That is quite strange.

What do you mean?

There are no dogs
here in the desert.

Here, just like the curse said.

Dad, don't move. There's
something on your neck.

Thanks, aki.

Whatever it was it doesn't
seem to have bitten me.

It's a scorpion.

I do not think so.

I cannot tell what it. Is look.

It's an egyptian scarab.

Nakenaton's symbol.

The scarab belonged to him.

And it as used to
mark the entrance

To the burial chamber.

[Dog howling]

Prune whammies make you strong.

Prune whammies
make you sing a song.

Would you mind telling
me what coat size you wear?

My coat size?

Just a harmless question

From someone who
will help a grateful lady

Win a mink coat.

A real mink coat?

Of course.

Well, in that case, I
wear a size six long.

Just what does a
girl have to do to win?

Oh that's entirely up
to the judging committee.

Ah, just where can I meet
the judging committee?

You are looking at him.

Oh, really?

What's going on?

Chapter six is what's going on.

But I was here first,
tell her to leave.

Me leave? Fat chance.

Ah, look girls, I
told both of you

I'm not participating
in any chapter six.

Oh, no chapter six, huh?

Well, I can't blame
you with her around.

Would you tell her,

I mean tell her that I'm
the one you're mad for.

Please, please... I uh, no...

He swore he'd never
been with another girl,

And he asked me to
have faith in him. And I do.

You're so sure?

Yes.

Well, maybe I did misjudge him.

You just take a little
time and get to know him.

All right. I'm willing
to give him a chance.

We'll go see him right now.

Oh, great.

No, girls really...

Get him on the bed!

Get back, I'm saving
myself for somebody else.

[Knock at the door]

No, you're not!

[Screams]

Angela, help!

Please tell
mr. Roarke I need help!

Ah no...

[Knocking on door]

Ladies, you must come out.

No, I'm not leaving
unless she does.

I'm not leaving, I'm in
too deep to quit now.

How many women
are in there, boss?

Two. That we know of.

In that case, I volunteer to
change places with the hostage.

Angela.

What's going on?

Well, I must say that you
ladies were acting rather,

What shall I say, uniquely.

He had the nerve to tell
us he didn't write the book.

He said you made him the author.

My dear, mr. Hunter.

You were not supposed to
divulge the nature of your fantasy.

I had to, mr. Roarke.

They each wanted
to chapter six me.

Well, there goes my fantasy.

You still have the
rest of the weekend.

Your fantasy? What
was your fantasy?

For once in my life

To take a man away
from my sister audrey.

No, that will never happen.

It will be me who takes
the man away from you.

If you are going to fight
over a man, I am available.

Let's try our luck by the pool.

I think you're right. After you.

Yeah. Thank you.

Boss, is it something I said?

This has got to be the key.

It fits.

The burial chamber
must be behind this wall.

Abdul...

Please, abdul, help us.

Little further, little further.

Let's try to open it.

Look, it's aki.

It's his face, it
looks just like him.

Aki, where is he?

He's gone.

He just disappeared right
in the middle of the desert.

Has he?

I realize relinquishing
those artifacts

To the egyptian museum

Must be quite a
sacrifice for you.

No, the satisfaction
of actually finding them

Is enough for me at this
time in my life, mr. Roarke.

I'm a very happy man.

Oh, well, then I
am most pleased.

There is one thing you
could clear up for me though.

That boy aki,

It's like he lead
us to the tomb.

He wanted us to find it.

And then at the actual moment
when we found the mummy,

He vanished.
Seemingly into thin air.

Unless it was he we
saw on the mountain.

If indeed you saw anything?

We saw something.

Aki is a young egyptian

Who has been coming here
for the last three years

Looking for the
tomb, same as you.

You have fulfilled
his fantasy, too.

But he looked exactly like
the figure inside the mummy case.

Yes, I know.

You see, aki is a young man
looking for his heritage.

And now he's found it.

Well, that's impossible.

The royal house of
king tut hasn't existed

For over 4,000 years.

To your knowledge,
professor marlow.

You saw the face
in the mummy case,

And you saw aki.

Could he not be a
descendant of kings?

Excuse me.

In nearly all our human culture,

Similar legends have
been handed down to us

From time in memorial.

Aki, aki, you have to leave now.

Mr. Roarke is telling everyone

That you are related
to the pharaohs.

Thanks for the warning.

Hurry and load up.

Now that all the
artifacts have been tagged,

We must get back
and seal the tomb.

Yes, your highness.

Your highness?

A great experience,
mr. Roarke, thank you.

I am delighted,
professor marlow.

Miss marlow. Mr. Kamil,
great pleasure.

Mr. Roarke, thanks
for my fantasy.

It was a little more
than I expected.

Me, too.

It will be nice to get
back to clerking again

At the old bookstore.

Mother's talking about setting
barney up in his own store

After we're married.

Oh, how very generous
of you, mrs. Brennen.

Yes, well, if I do there's
going to be one iron clad rule.

Oh, and what is that may I ask?

That my son in law
not sell any books

That deal with chapter sixing.

Goodbye again.

Goodbye.

Bye, bye.

Goodbye.

Boss! Boss!

Something wrong, tattoo?

The prune whammies contest.

I won. First prize!

Oh, congratulations, my friend.

But boss I spend my life
savings on postage stamps.

All that I wanted is to win
second prize, the mink coat.

Well, yes, I know,
but first prize

Must be much
grander than second?

It is, it is.

Out with it, my friend.
What is first prize?

I won an all expense paid
vacation to fantasy island.

[Laughing]
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