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Lovers in a Dangerous Time (2021)

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Lovers in a Dangerous Time (2021)

Post by bunniefuu »

[jazzy synth music]

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

[ Brake clicks ]

[ Country music plays ]

Hey.

Hey, where's your mask?

Oh...um...

I'm just sh1tting you, kid.

Sit down.

Okay.

Actually, I'm surprised

you're open

with all this stuff

going on.

They didn't

shut you down?

No, I've been open

for about a week.

Okay.

Slow, though.

Ain't seen you

in here before.

Usually it's just the regulars

come in this dump.

Well, I'm back in town.

Uh-huh.

Business or pleasure?

Pleasure, I guess,

I'm hoping.

I'm here to see

an old friend.

Or two. We'll see.

Uh-huh. Okay.

What can I get you, kid?

[ Mysterious acoustic scoring ]





[ Breathes deeply ]



[ Sighs ]



Oh, sh*t.

[ Chuckles ]

Dork.

All right, Mom.

Gonna sanitize real good.

Get it, get it,

get it, get it.

Get underneath those nails.



[ Sighs ]



[ Chuckles ]





[ Sighs ]







[ Choir vocalizing ]



[ Ringtone plays ]



Hey, darling.

Hi, hon.

How are you doing?

I'm okay. Aunt Carmen sends

her love again.

Yeah. Well, she sends her love

all the time,

so getting

a little stocked up here.

I know, but I told you

how she is.

I think she just really wanted

to meet you before the wedding.

Well, we did push it off

another year and a half,

so I'm sure we can make

that happen at some point.

Why don't you --

I don't know --

put in a good word for me?

Yeah?

I really think we should plan

a time in the next few months

when you're not working

to come back here.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

Getting stuck here

when quarantine broke

for the last two months,

it's not gonna make me

want to come back any time soon,

but we should plan something.

Well, that was your choice,

Carly, so...

Better safe than sorry.

Well... you could have --

could rented a car.

I know. I just [Sighs]

With Mom's health, it's --

it's been good that I'm here,

but now I'm missing you.

[ Sighs ] Right.

Anyway, I'm just

calling to remind you

I'm gonna be in

tomorrow morning at 11:05.

Yeah, 11:05. I'll be there,

bright and early.

Can't wait 'cause, uh,

we've got a lot to talk about.

Babe, I really wish we didn't

have to cancel the wedding.

I was really looking forward

to getting married next month.

Yeah. Yeah.

I know what you mean.

It'll happen, though,

and, you know, when it does,

we'll just look back

and kind of forget

this whole thing

stopped us. Okay?

I know. I love you.

Yeah, I love you, too.

Bye.

Bye.



Great.

[ Ringtone plays ]



Hey, I was going to call you.

I thought we were gonna talk

last night.

I was waiting.

Yeah. Um, sorry about that.

I'm so sick of Bel-Air.

Oh, I want to come over

tonight, Reid.

No, no, no. That --

That can't happen.

[ Scoffs ] Why?

W-Well...

Carly, my fiance.

Remember her?

Well, she's coming back

tomorrow.

So I really know

how this must sound, but...

You know what?

No, screw that.

I don't know how it sounds,

and I'm sorry.

I just...

I mean, we kind of knew

what this was.

We -- We --

We got to end it now.

So...yeah.

How long

have you known this?

Uh, I mean, I-I --

Known what?

What are you talking about?

That your fiance

was coming back.

Oh, oh. I mean, I...

I always knew she was coming

back, so I'm not really sure...

I meant how long have you known

she was coming back tomorrow?

Um...well, she bought

a plane ticket,

and -- and it was about,

like, a week ago,

a week and a half.

So about

a week and a half.

I mean, you know, things

are --

Things

are opening back up here.

We're in

phase 5-7-Alpha-Q-Delta.

I don't know. I don't what

we're naming them anymore.

Maybe it's

phase fire tornado.

I don't know, but we're opening

back up, so, you know...

So [Clears throat]

basically last week then.

I've been over there

twice since then.

You could have told me.

Yeah. I know.

Okay. Look, I'm sorry.

I-I should have told you,

but I didn't. Now it's done.

She's coming back, and...

yeah, I mean,

we knew what this was.

We agreed to it, so...

Did we?

Yeah, we did.

Sage?

Sage, are you there?

I want to see you tonight.

[ Sighs ]

That can't happen.

"Can't" isn't

the correct word.

It most certainly

can happen,

although

you may not want it to.

[ Chuckles ]

Sage, what the --

What the hell?

No, I'm so sorry, Reid.

So sorry to be so direct

and forthcoming,

but I kind of

have this plan.

Plan?

I'm afraid so.

I really don't mean to get

all "Fatal Attraction"

on you here, but...

Well, I guess it's kind of

what this is.

[ Sighs ]

You know how strongly

I feel about you.

Furthermore, you know

how I feel about my husband.

He and I...

are dead.

Yeah. Yeah.

You mentioned that,

but you know what?

It's weird.

Maybe it's tone or

the phone or I don't know,

but it sounds like

you're planning

some kind of

a crazy little getaway,

us running away together.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, that's

the jackpot answer, honey.

[ Sighs ] Okay.

Um...

we can't.

Reid, I don't want to beat

around the bush anymore.

I've been doing that

this whole time.

The bush is trimmed.

Look through it.

I want this to be more

than a quarantine love affair.

Uhhhh...Sage.

I'll see you later, honey.

Uh, mm...

[ Line clicks ]

Okay. She hung up.

Okay.



[ Cellphone chimes ]

What serious f*ck

is wrong with you?!

[ Cellphone buzzes ]

Mm.

Yo, what up, Mr. Reid?

Mr. Deed, Mr. Steed,

Beed, Bee.

Hey, Harriet!

Oh, my God,

I'm glad you picked up.

Um, what's new?

Well, you know,

it's still quarantine,

so as always, nothing.

[ Chuckles ]

Any word on whether or not

they're gonna let us back

into the office

any time soon or...

You know, I just don't know.

Was it phase 2

or 5 or 29?

No, no, no, no.

No news here.

No, just -- just, you know,

wheeling and dealing.

Just having

a good -- good old time.

Oh, great.

So what can I do for you,

Mr. Deed,

Mr. Steed,

Mr. Bleedy-Bleed?

Well, well, well.

[ Laughs ]

Harriet, Harriet,

Harriet, Harriet,

do you...

Do remember that -- that client

up in Sacramento?

Um, yeah.

Old Sacramento?

What was his name?

Mason something?

Mason Delaware.

Rich dude, right?

Like, a billionaire?

That's the one!

Yes, you do remember.

Good old Harriet.

You remember these things.

That's good. That's good.

Yeah, what about him?

Well, well, well,

do you --

You don't remember

we were dealing with those --

trying to sell off

the profit shares,

and -- and he had his wife

who came to join us?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Mm, I don't really remember

'cause I think

that, like, was more your part

of the deal, but...

Yeah. Yeah.

That was me handling that point.

Thank you for remembering that

so vividly.

I mean,

is there a problem?

We sold them on the deal,

yeah?

Oh, I sealed the deal.

Yeah, I definitely

sealed it pretty tight.

So no, nothing on that.

No, nothing going on there.

Well, you're just gonna have

to give me

a little bit more information

or a clearer picture

of what you're trying to say

there, pal.

'Cause I'm a little lost.

Reid?

Hey, look, look, look.

I-I know that, you know,

lockdown's been tough

and everything,

but, hey, just remember --

Your beautiful,

amazing fiance's

coming back tomorrow.

So there's that.

Yeah. I'm remembering that

pretty clearly right now,

that my beautiful fiance's

coming back.

Thank you for that,

Harriet.

Appreciate that.

Mm-hmm.

Hang in there Mr. Reid.

My bleedy-bleedy boo-bah.

You're gonna make it, okay?

Oh.

Reid?

Rude!

[ Sighs ]

Everybody's losing their mind.

Mmm.

[ Cellphone buzzes ]

Carly!

Girl, what's up?!

Hey. How are you?

Oh, doing good,

doing good, you know.

Hey, speak of the devil...

Mm, I'm not sure

that's the right term,

but I just spoke

with your handsome,

man-some little fianc,

and I'm pretty sure

he's losing his mind.

Really?

I don't know.

It was weird.

It was like, he called

to ask about a client,

but then it seemed like he maybe

forgot about it or something,

but just a heads-up

if you come home

and he's gone mad, so...

Okay.

Thanks for the warning.

So, what's up, my

Carly-Barly-Schwarly-Farly?

You're doing good

out there?

I miss you guys,

and in all honesty,

Reid really

does miss you, too.

So I'm glad

you're coming home.

I'm ready to come back.

And I was thinking the three

of us should get together,

and -- I don't know --

we can sit 6 feet apart

if it makes you feel better.

Oh, yeah, girl.

Totally.

You know I'm all good

about that stuff.

It'd be great to see you.

I-I've, like,

not seen a real person.

Well, I have,

but not hung out.

You know what I mean.

With a real person

in a couple months now,

so it's getting bad.

And feel free

to bring Shane.

Yeah...

About that. Um...

Shane and I kind of

aren't Shane and I anymore.

What?

It's a short story

that isn't very interesting.

And you know what?

I can waste five minutes

of your life

when I see you

in person with it.

So how about that?

[ Flatly ] Sounds good.

What?

I don't know. It's...

Ever since we've known you,

you go through this same routine

with every guy you date.

Are we really getting into this

right now?

Where do you got to be?

Fair enough.

Listen, I don't know

who this Mr. Right was,

and since you refuse

to talk about him,

lower your expectations.

Just...

Wow.

Thanks for that.

You know what I mean.

I get it, girl.

You know what?

I promise --

I will do my very best

to lower all expectations.

You are a terrible liar,

girl.

I love you.

Love you, too, girl.

And miss you guys.

See you real soon, okay?

My Carly-Schwarly.

Schwarly-Barly, you

stay safe out there.

Bye.



[ Rock music ]

Oh, what's wrong with you, man?!

What did you do?

What did you do?

Why? Why?

Why would you do that?

What was the point of that?

I'd like to just...

Oh, you know what?

That wouldn't k*ll me.

That would only hurt a lot,

and I just don't have that kind

of medical insurance

going on right now,

with everything in lockdown.

So I could just...

That's great.

That's good. Yeah.

Perfect.

Why wouldn't it be perfect?

That's exactly perfect.

That's...

She would send a perfect message

because she cherry-picks

her perfection.

She takes it from words.

She looks in a thesaurus.

She double-checks everything,

and she brings on the thunder.

That's what she does.

Great!

So great.

And who am I?

I'm the schmuck that cheated

on her,

that stepped out on her.

I'm that schmuck.

I'm that guy.

All her friends

are gonna be talking about me.

They're gonna be

making up stories.

They're gonna be saying,

"Hey, remember that schmuck

you were with for a while?

He was a real schmuck."

Mm! Mm!

What is wrong with you?!

What is wrong with you?

Are you stupid?!

Are you a f*cking moron?!

Of course you are

'cause you did

all the moronic things

that morons do.

You f*cking idiot.

Sage, yeah,

super-hot, crazy hot.

There's hot b*tches everywhere

in the world.

Why would you do it with her?

Why would you pick her?

Why would you go that route?

The sex was good.

The sex was good.

I understand that.

You need a little lovin'.

You got to -- Alone.

I get it, I get it,

but Sage! Sage!

And now Carly's coming back.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Gonna be great

when she finds out about that.

Look at you,

you dumb f*cking idiot.

And you know what?

You deserve this.

This is all your f*cking fault.

You did this to yourself.

You got no one to blame, Reid.

Nobody at all!

Nobody! Nothing!

Nothing, nothing,

nothing, nothing!

So you know what?

Suck it up, son,

'cause

this is the end for you, pal.

It's the end of the road.

It's the end

of the long, stupid road,

and you're not

getting back the road.

You're gonna be nothing!

And you're gonna be

[Shouting gibberish]

Okay? Get it? Got it?

Great. Good, good.

I'm gonna be over there.

[ Breathing heavily ]

Okay.

[ Breathing heavily ]



Schmuck.

[ Ringtone plays ]



Yes?

[ Soft rock plays ]

[ Burps ]

Buddy, how's it going?

Lincoln?

That'd be me, old pal.

Jesus, Lincoln.

It's been, like,

what, two years?

Well, it's been three,

actually.

Thanks for counting.

Sorry about that.

Yeah.

I know.

I haven't been in town.

I've been on the run.

You know me, business as usual.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I sincerely doubt that.

Any jobs?

Well, there was this gig

up in Boise

that kept me busy

the better part of last year.

All their infomercials

went through me.

Oh, all the infomercials.

How many of the "all the

infomercials" were there?

Eight.

Eight? Eight. That's good.

Eight infomercials. Nice.

All right.

So things have been slow,

okay?

I'm not Fellini yet.

I get it.

You know what, buddy?

I really hate to rush off here.

I can't really chat.

I'm kind of in the middle

of something.

Yeah, well, how long is that

something gonna take to resolve?

I don't know.

The rest of my life.

Something like that.

Simple thing.

Yeah, I-I hear that.

Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm.

Uh, where --

where are you anyway?

At this place

called Kelsey's Pub.

it's a bar here in town.

You know, Kelsey's Pub

is closed 'cause of pandemic.

Pandemic kind of closed

everything down,

kind of shut it all down.

Pandemic?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah, pandemic.

Things -- Thing going on.

I don't know if you know

about it. It's a virus.

Oh, the thing

with the masks.

Right, right, right.

Well, I don't think they

so much care about that here.

I mean, I am the only one

in here right now,

but they are

very much open.

I think they're doing

some sort of, like,

Prohibition bootleg-style

opening kind of thing.

I'm here. I'm in town.

I want to see you.

I want to come over. Come on.

Perfect!

Hey, but you know what?

Better idea -- Don't.

Because I don't think

that Carly's gonna

like you coming over.

I think that --

I don't know what she would

think of it, you know.

Well, according to Carly's

last Facebook post,

she's still quarantined

in Dallas.

So she won't be thinking

anything, now, will she?

Right, right.

So let me come over. Come on.

I forgot that you like to stalk

people on Facebook. That's nice.

That's good. That's good.

Good to remember that.

No, she's in Dallas

with family.

No, actually, the thing

I'm in the middle of

is something

entirely different.

So just not the best time to

play catch-up with an old buddy.

Okay, look, look,

you're upset.

I get it.

It's my bad.

I haven't been around.

You're mad. I understand.

I'll tell you what, man.

Why don't I just

call you back later? Okay?

I assume that you're staying

awhile, right?

Mm, you're not gonna call me.

We both know that.

But yes, I'm in town.

Okay. Well, why don't you

just keep on hanging?

And, you know,

I'll just hit you back.

I'll hit you up, okay?

All right.

All right.

It's good chatting with you.

I'll hang you.

All right. See you

in the three years.

Okay, bye.

Same?

Please.

You know, I don't mean to pry,

but I couldn't help

but overhear

you're a director of sorts?

A director of sorts.

That's a great way

to put it.

You're talking to the world's

okayest infomercial director.

Mm.

Basic public access stuff.

Nothing you would have seen

around these parts.

Mm. Must've been a rough couple

of months for you, huh?

I mean,

what with the lockdown and all.

[ Chuckles ]

Rough couple months.

Yeah. Right.

Worse, huh?

Well, I mean,

if you want to get into it,

you are a bartender,

I am a patron.

We could do the clich...

Lay it on me.

It was a woman.

Yeah, it usually is.

Yeah.

I had a woman once.

We had a daughter together.

Ain't seen her

in a long time, though.

Well...

What happened?

In my case, I guess you

could say it was two women.

Mm-hmm.

This girl and I were together.

We dated, never really got

too serious,

but we were

a real good match, you know?

I mean, it was nice,

and then someone else

came along.

But, I mean, it wasn't an affair

or anything like that.

I mean,

we were never serious, you know?

Yeah. With the first girl?

Right. First girl --

not serious.

Girl number two

comes along.

Uh-huh.

I go off with her.

She ends up leaving me.

Serves me right.

So you chose

door number two,

but what you really wanted

was behind door number one.

Correct. Yeah.

And now here I am,

back where it all went down,

attempting to salvage

the one friendship

I've somewhat maintained

over the years,

but that's gonna have

to be put on hold

because, well,

he's busy with something.

Mm. I hear you.

Tell you what.

Next one's on the house.

Thanks.

No, you haven't yet

[ Bar music fades out ]

[ Mysterious music plays ]

[ Grunting ]



[ Knock on door ]

[ Snorts ]

Who is it?



[ Sighs ]



[ Grunting ]

Nope. False alarm.



[ Breathes deeply ]







Ah!

I see you've dolled yourself

up for our evening together.

Sage.

How'd you get in?

[ Chuckles ]

Through your back door,

stupid.

Ah, yeah.

I've been knocking

for 10 minutes.

Oh,

Called you.

10 minutes, that's -- That's

terrible.

Yeah.

Pobrecito.

I really am sorry

about that.

I, uh...

I was -- I was -- I was...

"I was -- I was -- I was..."

Uh-huh.

Yeah, thanks

for the warm welcome.

You know,

it would have been warmer,

but I didn't want you

to come.

So there's that, yes, yes.

By the way that you look

and smell,

I don't think you're in

any coherent state

to decide on anything.

Okay.

Yes, I am drunk

because I've been drinking,

because of our little phone

chat a little earlier today.

That was a nice one,

put me in a real, uh, pickle.

Like a pickle. Like a Vlasic.

Like, you know, the

[As Vlasic stork] Vlasic guy.

Uh-huh.

-You know, like a stork.

-Yeah, I got it.

I think he's a stork. I don't

know if he's a duck, a stork.

-I think he delivers things.

-I don't know.

-Has a mailman's hat.

-I don't really care.

-I don't know either.

-Moving on.

It's kind of disturbing me

that I can't remember

exactly

what type of animal he is.

Point is, I can't understand

exactly why it is

you would want to have

more than a f*ck buddy,

you know,

situation with us?

Because that was actually

just fine,

and, instead,

you decided to go full-on, um...

What was the term

you used before?

Oh, it's my favorite movie.

-Oh, "Fatal Attraction."

-Yeah.

-That's right.

-I love that movie.

You had to go "Fatal Attraction"

syndrome on me.

And that was

really delightful.

Really cute and adorable

and all those things.

But um, you know, I mean,

you took pictures of me

while I was sleeping.

-I did, I did.

-Why?

Oh, I don't know.

Because you're beautiful, Reid.

Oh, okay.

Ah. Okay, well...

that's nice.

Oh, come on now, Reid.

Stop. Stop drinking.



[ Sighs ]

Look, Sage, I get it.

You don't love

your husband anymore.

Or maybe you never did.

I don't know.

Wow. Okay.

Yeah.

I'm really sorry about that,

okay?

But I actually still care

for Carly.

Mm-hmm.

Still do. And she really

doesn't deserve this at all.

So I...

Wow.

I think that we should just go

with what

we originally planned,

which was that when Carly

was gonna come back,

we would be done.

Okay?

So we're done.

Ah.

[ Chuckles ]

We're really not.

Ha. What?

Okay. Okay.

Pictures all in the bag there?

Is that what you're gonna do?

You're gonna show them

to Carly? Is that your plan?

Well, I think it'd be better

if you did.

Oh, I'm not gonna do that.

Oh, come on.

Come on, Reid.

Oh, we could be great together.

We could.

We could have

one of those loves

that they sing about

in those love songs.

I don't know any love songs

that are...

-Oh, yes, you do.

-amidst a pandemic,

and an affair

and all that.

I just don't think I know

any of those songs.

Well, you need to expand

your musical library.

Oh, my musical library

is just fine.

Thank you very much.

It went to Harvard.

Not when I last checked

your iTunes.

Oh, wow. You didn't check the

hidden playlist that I've got.

Did you just say "Harvard"?

Well, the music went to Harvard.

I didn't go to Harvard.

What the hell

are you talking about?

My music went to Harvard.

I don't know why --

how it's not clear for you.

Mm-hmm.

But, anyway,

it doesn't matter

because, Sage, Sage,

we just...

You know what?

I have an idea.

Get out. Get out of my house.

Okay?

-We're just gonna...

-If you force me to leave now...

-Yeah?

-do you think that'll solve

this apparent

world-record...

pickle that you're in?

Mm-hmm.

Do you have any more

of that 30-year scotch?

[ Chuckles ]



Sage: Okay.

Sage.

[ Clears throat ]

Maybe we should come to

some kind of agreement.

-Okay?

-Mm-hmm.

Let's see.

-Your terms are...

-Mm-hmm.

...that I leave and vanish

from your life completely.

-Yeah. Good so far.

-Mm-hmm.

My terms are that you and I

leave right now

and start a brand-new

happy and exciting life.

I see no middle of the road

on this map.

That's because you need

to recalculate your GPS.

-Oh, come on, Reid.

-It's a little off.

Does nothing about us

sound even the teensiest bit...

appealing?

-Not really, no.

-You hesitated.

-No, I didn't.

-You did.

-No, I didn't.

-You did.

-No, I didn't.

-Did.

-Didn't.

-Did.

-Didn't.

-Did.

-Didn't, did, did, did, did.

-Did, did, did, did, did.

-Did, did, did.

-Did, did, did, didn't.

[ Laughs ]

-Got you.

-Okay.

Let's just -- Let's just stop.

-Mm...

-Let's just stop. Okay?

-No.

-Have you eaten?

Do you want to -- Do you

want to order something?

Yeah. I'm not that hungry.

I drank a lot.

Oh, and maybe if I have

enough to drink...

I'll let you...

[ Chuckles ] That was

a fun night. Wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

How about Chinese?

Oh, sushi.

Yeah. Oh, come on, Reid.

Come on.

You know you want

some sushi.

[ Laughs ]

How about

Jackal's Palace?

Oh, yeah.

That's a good idea.

Don't you have

that ordering app?

Let me go get your phone.

Where is it?

Don't worry, Reid.

Stop worrying.

I'll just take care of you.

Everything will be fine.

Ugh!

[ Glass shattering ]

[ Ominous music builds ]

Oh, Reid.

What the f*ck?



[ Pan clangs ]

Okay.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Okay.

[ Breathing rapidly ]

[ Mischievous music ]

Okay. Okay.



One. Two...

Okay. That's better.

That's better.

That's worse. Okay.

All right. Um...



Okay. All right.

Okay. No more stairs.

Good. Good.

[ Patting ]

Okay.

Next house gonna be

a single story.

Okay. Okay.

All right, Reid.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Yeah, it is.

[ Grunting ]

Okay. Too familiar.

Okay.

Here. All right.

Let's get the things

with the...

That's solid.

Okay.

So there.

And then we'll...

There we go.

Okay.

There we go.

Okay. Okay.

Here we go.

How do they do it in the movies?

It's like -- Nope.

[ Handcuffs clicking ]

You'll have a bruise.

Wait. Good.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Okay. And...

[ Muttering ]

[ Humming ]

[ Handcuffs clicking ]

Lullaby

And good night

[ Humming ]

Solid. Yeah. Good.

Good. You're comfortable?

[ Groans ]

Okay, all right.

[ Groans ]

Mm-hmm.



[ Breathes deeply ]

Okay.

[ Line rings ]

Come on, come on, come on.

What's up, chicken butt?

Yeah! Yeah!

It's so good to see.

It's so good.

Um, you know, I'm just --

Are you okay?

Ah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm super-fine.

I'm super-great.

In fact, I'm just --

Not fine.

Actually not fine at all.

What is it, Reid?

I need your help. Okay?

Simple as that, really.

But I need you to listen. Okay?

'Cause I have things to say.

Where do I begin? Uh, f*ck,

I cheated on Carly.

So there's that.

Um...

Yeah.

Who?

What the hell?

Yeah.

Are you...

You're serious.

Who?

I tried to tell you

earlier actually.

The Sacramento client?

That's the one.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's her?

The rich man's wife?

Boom!

Yeah, you got it.

Wow.

You are sleeping

with the rich man's wife.

-What the hell, dude?!

-Yeah.

So it -- it all started

after we finalized the deal

with the big bosses up north,

and they all took us out

to dinner

because, you know,

that's what they do.

The wife joined us, you know,

'cause she was bored.

So she came down,

and we were all having dinner.

I had a lobster, by the way.

Really delicious.

I think they flew it in

from Alaska.

But, anyway,

so we were having dinner,

and the bosses wanted to --

They wanted to go barhopping.

But, you know, --

So I said, "No."

And you know what?

The wife did, too.

She didn't want to go out. She

doesn't like barhopping either.

I guess we have that in common.

That's really great.

So she decided to stay, and

the husband gave her his key,

and, well, you know, the

entire time, we were just --

She was kind of giving me

these looks.

Oh, and you looked back?

-Yeah.

-Why'd you look back, man?

You never look back.

There was something

about the way the light

might have hit her eyes,

and -- No, she was hot.

She was hot. That was it.

She was just --

Reid!

Just because a woman's hot

doesn't mean you should

go sleep with her.

I know! Right?

Thank you for that.

Oh, come on.

You know what I mean.

I just need your help on this.

Okay?

So, what, this has been

going on since what?

Like a week before

the virus happened or...

Well, look, I-I...

You know what?

I don't think this is something

I should be getting in the

middle of. Do you understand?

I'm good friends with you,

but I'm also good friends

with Carly

and I don't want to be...

[ Sighs ] Ever since

we started working together,

-I just--You know, this is just

-You know what's great?

Is, I actually -- I don't need

your help telling Carly.

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. Well, then

what is this about?

I-I...

I did something.

Yeah, I'll say.

No, no, no,

not that something.

No, a different something

entirely.

Okay.

Sage: Reid!

Reid, is she in your house

right now?

Uhhhh....

-Kind of.

-Okay.

Let me break this down

for you.

She is either in your house,

or she's not in your house.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Kind of maybe sort of, um,

did something.

Did a thing.

Did a thing.

Yeah.

Reid!

Uh-huh, uh-huh

You know what, though?

Harriet, it's actually gonna

be better if I show you,

so, yeah. Stand by.

Hold the line.

Okay. Okay.

[ Sighs ]

This dude.

All right, Harriet,

just don't panic.

Okay?

What in God's name, Reid?

Reid, what the hell

is the matter with you?

Let me out of this.

I'm not gonna do that.

-You have to let her go.

-I can't.

Let me go!

Let her go!

This is insane.

It's completely insane.

How dare you do this to me?

Have you lost

your freaking mind?

If you think that by doing this,

you're somehow off the hook...

She's bleeding!

Oh. sh*t.

I am, Reid.

Okay.

I see that. Just hold on.

I'm gonna help you.



[ Exhales sharply ]

Thank you, Harriet.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Here's the --

Yes.

Thanks.

Just give it to me.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Wow.

Grateful much?

I'm sorry.

[ Laughs ]

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Yes.

You handcuff me to a bed...

Uh-huh.

...and you're sorry

about the fact that

-you cracked my skull open?!

Okay, okay.

Oh, yeah.

She's got a point.

Well, whose side are you on,

Harriet?

Because it should be mine.

Okay? Friends.

We're friends here.

And you know what?

That is beside the point,

because all this yelling,

everyone's getting

really excited,

and I'm getting

a little confused.

How are you confused

about this, Reid?

I'm confused. I have

every right to be confused

because you FaceTime me

to show me some random woman

you're sleeping with that

you've knocked out, handcuffed

to your bed,

and what's next?

What, has she threatened

to tell Carly?

See, that --

That's the problem, see?

Because we had a nice

little agreement in place

that when Carly would return,

that we'd be done,

and we would end

this whole thing.

Remember that agreement?

That was a good agreement.

Oh, I'm sorry. That agreement

was a very gray area.

I just want

to point that out.

[ Whispering]

It was not a gray area.

-It was black and white.

-Very gray.

-Black and white.

-Mnh-mnh.

Reid!

Can we talk a minute

in private

in another room?

[ Sighs ]

Excuse me.

Gray area.

Okay.

Yes?

That's all you have to say

for yourself?

Well, you wanted to talk

about something, so here I am.

-What?

-Um...

you're the one who needs to be

doing the talking, dumb-a*s.

Harriet, now, calm down.

'Cause I tried to tell you

what was going on.

She's crazy,

off her rocker.

You can see that, right?

You can see that, clearly.

So I need you to help me.

What do I do?

It's very simple, Reid --

Let her go.

I'm not gonna do that.

That's -- No, no.

'Cause if I do that,

then she's gonna go do...

Right, right, right.

I get the predicament.

-And?

-Look, I don't know.

I have to think about this.

Okay?

This is very intense

for me, and -- and...

Okay, here's the thing.

I love you guys.

I love you and Carly.

Clearly I don't want to see

Carly hurt, but this,

this is a serious, heinous

crime, you realize?

I know. I know.

Thank you for that update.

Serious crime. Got it.

Great.

How much have you been

drinking tonight?

I would really, really think

that the current predicament

would actually

exactly tell you

exactly how much I had

to drink tonight, okay?

I mean, why? Were you unhappy

or something?

What do you mean?

The engagement.

Carly.

I mean, something seriously bad

must have happened

for you

to do something like this.

[ Emotional music ]

Uh...



Um, well...



...I'm not lying when I say

that the happiest day of my life

was when I asked Carly

to marry me.

Okay?

And I'm pretty sure it was the

happiest day of her life, too.

But since then, it seems as

though she's planning a wedding

that I'm not even a part of.

She's kind of

in her own little world,

and I'm just gonna be

some guy that shows up.

That's very frustrating

because I don't think

either one of us

has been happy

since I proposed.

So I lost myself

in work,

you know, like you do, thinking

maybe, "Oh, just cold feet,

or I'm just nervous

about something."

But it just kept bugging me.

[ Breathes deeply ]

And truth be told,

Carly and I haven't

really been together

since the beginning

of the year.

Like, been together,

you know?

So Sage comes along,

and suddenly

I'm getting some

kind of amazing attention

that I didn't get

even a little bit of,

and I f*cked up.

I did.

You could blame it

on the quarantine

or any of that,

but no, no, no.

I just screwed up,

and the thing is,

I'm gonna tell Carly

about what I did,

but she can't find out

this way

because that's not fair

to her.

You know?

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Look, I can't believe I'm gonna

help your sorry a*s here,

but I am, but just know

that this is for Carly.

Okay?

I know.

Thank you.

Good.

Thank you very much.



[ Metal clangs ]

Uh, Harriet, hold on.

[ Sighs ]

[ Straining ]

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no!

Ah!

[ Laughs ]

You stupid as*h*le!

What? What?

Oh, oh, what?

-I'll scream.

-Oh, will you?

The neighbors

will hear.

Go ahead. You've been screaming

the last two and a half months.

They're not gonna care.

They're not gonna call the cops.

They haven't done it yet.

Right? Right?

But do it.

Do it for me.

Come on, come on. One more.

Let me hear you scream.

[ Ringtone plays ]

Come on. Come on. Come on.

That's fine.

That's what I thought.

God damn it. Son of a --

Hello?

How you doing, buddy?

It's me.

You didn't call me back.

Just like I said

you wouldn't.

Get that thing you were in

the middle of taken care of?

Kind of sort of still

in the middle of it.

Thank you.

Thank you for asking, though.

Appreciate that.

I gotcha.

Listen, man.

Can I call you back?

Can I call you back later?

Sounds me like you're in some

sort of trouble, to be honest.

Hey, Reid. Hello?

Who is it?

[ Stammers ]

Look...

No one, no one.

Just hang on.

Who's that? Who is that?

No one. It's no one.

I'm telling you. What?

All right, all right.

I'll let you go.

You just give me a call whenever

you figure out whatever it is

you're trying to figure out

over there.

I just -- I just can't...

Hang on.

[ Stammers ]

No, no, no, no,

no, no, no.

You're not going anywhere

until we have a talk.

Okay?

Screw you! Take these off!

Okay, okay.

Stop it. Stop it.

Shut up

and let me think, okay?

Let me think.

What is there

to think about?

Uh, uh, uh, us...

Okay.

...actually.

All right.

Yeah.

Let's talk about us.

Okay, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Why don't

you kick us off then?

Let's do that.

You kick us off.

Why did you start banging me?

[ Pops lips ]

That's a good kick.

Harriet: Reid?

Reid, buddy?

What? What is it?

I don't know.

I think he put the phone down.

Someone's yelling.

Hello?

Who's there?

Who's on the phone?

Who is this?

Um, Reid FaceTimed me

and set me down.

I can see his phone.

Are you the one

who called him?

Hello?!

Well, I'm his friend.

Who are you?

I'm also his friend.

Who are you?

No. Who are you?

No, no. I asked first.

What? First, second.

Who cares?

Tell me who you are.

Oh, God.

All right. Fine.

I'm Harriet.

I work with him.

What, like, in sales?

This whole whatever he does?

Yeah. That is what he does

for a living.

Har--

What, what, what, what, what?

What happened?

Harriet?

Remember the girl

I told you about?

The one

behind door number one?

I --

No sh*t.

Hello?

Harry Bottoms?

[ Emotional music ]

Um...

Stinking Lincoln?

Harry Bottoms.

Who's Harry Bottoms?

Harry Bottoms.

We used to...

Stinking Lincoln?

We used to make fun

of our names.

'Cause we both --

I called her Harry Bottoms.

She called me

Stinking Lincoln.

It was, like, a whole thing.

I thought my name was better.

Stinking...

Yeah, I agree.

Okay.

Lincoln.

Lincoln, is that you?

It's been a minute.

Huh?

How the hell are you?

Yeah, seriously.

Like, what has it been?

Like, two or five or...

What is

the actual number now?

I can't believe this.

Well, it's actually

been seven, but...

You've counted.

No, no, never.

You answered awfully fast.

Sure sounds like

you counted.

Well, like you haven't

been counting.

Every day.

Okay. Wow.

Well, okay.

So here's the thing.

I am gonna skip the B.S. banter

and just get right down

to it.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Do you miss me?

You ask that as if you

already know the answer.

Oh, I think I do.

Think I do.

You -- You knew.

You do, yeah.

Yes, yes.

Wow.

Here it's been seven years.

I can't believe this.

I thought if I ever talked

to you again,

we would, like, ping-pong

back and forth for hours

before I'd work up the nerve

to ask you that.

But whoo!

Swing! Home run!

Got it right off the bat.

[ Chuckles ] Oh.

Yeah, well, I always loved that

about you, though.

You were spontaneous.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you know what?

I always liked that

you were, um...

nice.

I always tried,

I thought.

Oh, my gosh. It is so good

to hear your voice, Lincoln.

I just --

Look, is there, uh...

maybe any way

that you could...

pour yourself a drink?

Oh, I can

in about a minute or so.

'Cause I'm down here

at this bar

and I've got the kindest,

coolest bartender,

who's kept them coming for me

all day long.

And I guess I just thought

that if I ever had the chance

to have this conversation

with you,

it'd be best to catch up

with the one

that got away over

a few stiff drinks.

Oh, yeah.

Just let me get a glass.

Okay?

So how in the hell

do you come to know Reid?

I mean, small world,

right?

Man. Let's see.

I've been working with him

for about five years now.

Um, what about you?

Yeah.

He and I go way back actually.

Yeah. High school.

Sophomore year, we met.

Are you kidding me?

This is such a small world.

[ Sighs ] All right.

Cheer--

Oh, crap. Reid!

Oh, right. Yeah.

I guess he ditched us.

Lincoln, do you have any idea

what's been going on tonight?

No. No.

I just called him

to follow up

on getting together.

We had talked

earlier today,

but he was in the middle

of something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, the something

he was in the middle of

wasn't just something.

Well, what kind of something

are we talking about here?

It was a big something.

How big a something?

Like a ginormous something.

That sounds like

a big something.

All right.

Are you sitting down?

All right. Give me

the scoop on the something.

Where does one begin

with this?

The scoop is, he's cheating

on his fiance

with one

of his clients' wives.

Meanwhile, his fiance is down

in Dallas, visiting family.

She got stuck down there with

the lockdown and everything.

And, you know,

these other two,

they've been sleeping together

since the quarantine began.

And I guess his side fling

isn't ready to call the quits,

So...

Ah. So she's gone

all "Fatal Attraction" on him.

Yeah. From what I understand,

he's in deep.

Uh...

I think she came over tonight,

and he beat her unconscious

and then handcuffed her

to her bed, so...

Gotcha.

So what's the deal?

Okay. So the one

that got away

is good friends

with my old buddy.

Now, my old buddy's

been screwing around

on his fiance

with some side hustle.

Now, the side hustle

is over there right now.

And I'm guessing there was

some kind of confrontation

because he whacked her

over the head

and handcuffed her

to a bed in his guest room.

I'm guessing now

he's at a quandary

-as to what to do about it.

-Yeah, gotcha.

You ever hear of any sh*t

like this?

Worst I've ever heard was, a guy

was pissed off

at his mechanic.

So he goes,

he kidnaps the guy,

and then he sends a threatening

phone call to his wife and kids.

How'd that turn out?

Well, as I remember, he came

in here for a drink.

I'm cleaning glasses.

I turn around,

I look out the window.

Guy's trunk opens up,

and out jumps the mechanic,

stark f*cking naked.

And he runs down the street.

-He was naked?

-Uh-huh.

Ah, nice.

Lincoln!

Right, yes.

I'm here.

What's the plan?

Do you think you can

meet me down there?

I'd love to.

I don't exactly know

where he lives, though.

Okay. Have you changed

your phone number

in the last seven years?

No.

You know what?

I had a feeling.

I'll text you his address.

Did you change yours?

Nope.



Um...

Lincoln...

do you ever think

about calling me?

All the time, darling.

Really?

That other girl

back then,

that was the...

that was the wrong door

to go behind.

A mistake.

Biggest mistake.

My biggest mistake

was letting you go.

I'll see you over there,

cowboy.

Can't wait, milady.

Whoo! Yes!

I believe in miracles

You came along

You sexy thing

You --

Oh, God! Gotta get ready.

Well, guess I got to go.

You guess?

I think you know.

Ahh! Certainly shaping up

to be quite the evening,

ain't it?

Well, I bet it tops

my mechanic story.

You think?

Well, let's see.

This friend of yours,

he's got this side hustle

handcuffed

in his guest room

with his woman

coming home tomorrow.

And their best friend,

who's trying to help

him out of the jam,

just happens to be the same girl

that got away from you.

Yeah. I think that's gonna be

sitting at number one

from now on.

Yeah, maybe.

Well, guess

I better get to it.

You know how one minute

you're young and having fun,

and the next you're

[Chuckles]

turning down the car stereo

so you can see better?

So...

basically you're saying

you started screwing me

because you were bored

with your perfect relationship

with your beautiful wife,

who's the best thing

that's ever happened to you.

Oh, and also because

you're getting old.

No, you missed

the point entirely,

which doesn't surprise me

'cause you never listen.

Mnh-mnh. In a nutshell, that's

just what you described.

That is in no way

what I just described.

Do you love her?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away

with me tonight.

Do you want to marry her?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away

with me tonight.

Does she take good care

of you?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away

with me tonight.

Does she fulfill

your every need

and is everything

you've ever wanted in a woman,

even though she's far

from perfect?

Yes. Otherwise, you'd run away

with me tonight.

And do you want to spend

the rest of your life with her?

[ Emotional music ]

Yes.

Otherwise, you'd run away

with me tonight.

And you're all right

with that?

You would just want to run

away with me tonight, huh?

Just like a cheap

paperback romance novel

you find on

the supermarket shelves.

You know, just leave your

husband, just like that?

I never loved him.

You know that.

Right, right.

The money. I get it.

That's nothing. You'd

just be done with that, too,

huh?

Leave that behind?

Who said anything about

leaving it behind?

[ Laughs ]

What are you planning?

It's done.

Trust me.

Okay. Well...

what about me

is so appealing to you?

I mean,

aside from that night.

'Cause obviously that night,

you know, big affair.

It's exciting and

all that stuff.

But what are

the qualities of me

that you really want

to run away with?

You're normal.

Normal?

Oh, you want

a different word?

You're usual,

you're standard,

you're typical,

you're ordinary,

you're stock.

-You're customary.

-Okay. Okay. All right.

But you'd want to leave

behind a fantastic,

undaunted,

rich businessman?

-Well, you're a businessman.

-Okay.

I do all right.

I mean, look around.

Yeah, I do okay.

But your husband does

triple this on a bad day.

Oh, I'd say you do

really, really well.

Well is well enough

for me.

The truth is, years ago,

I was with someone.

You might say I convinced him

to run away with me.

And in the end,

I tossed him aside.

You know,

that's really convincing me.

You're saying you tossed

someone else aside

because that doesn't make me

feel like a schmuck,

that you're gonna pick up

another normal guy

that you're gonna pick up

and toss aside again.

-No, no, but, Reid...

-Okay.

...it's different with you,

though.

Believe me, Sage...

I definitely did see

something in you.

I mean, a guy who steps out

on his fiance

finds something

very, very unique,

very eye-striking

about you.

You were intrepid.

Mm.

That night, sure.

Yeah, absolutely.

And even the few weeks

after that, yeah, absolutely.

And you know what?

Maybe -- I don't know.

Maybe blame it on the lockdown

or blame it on something else.

-I...

-Mm.

Yeah. Being locked up,

being quarantined, being alone.

Well...

again,

we started before that.

Exactly.

You definitely had

something.

Mm.

You still have something.

Something that

Carly doesn't have.

You're so...

Now.

...vivid.

I'm happy with this...

description of me.



No, no, no.

No.

You really don't want

to say no to me.

The fact of the matter is,

I do.

I am, Sage,

because, well,

I love Carly.

So you're willing to throw away

a life of ease with me...

...just to spare

her feelings?

That's a sick question.

You know that?

Yeah, I do.

What exactly do you mean,

"a life of ease"?

Hmm?

Do you think your life

is just going to continue, Reid?

You cheated on your fiance.

She's going to find out.

And on top of it all,

you kidnapped me.

I didn't kidnap you.

What do you call this?

This is

temporary detainment.

Oh, detainment? Hmm.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

That implies that

I'll be let go.

And if, and when, I'm let go,

what do you think

I'll do then, Reid?

[ Sighs ]

Reid, my husband

doesn't know I'm here.

By the time he finds out,

we could be...

He doesn't know I took it.

He has a safe upstairs.

You might say I needed it.

And he got a call

to go to New York.

You'd think with the world

in lockdown,

he'd take a break from work,

but, alas...

Anyway, he won't be back

until next week.

We could be on the other side

of the world by then.

He's out of town.

And he doesn't know

about you leaving.

And he doesn't

know about the money,

and he doesn't know

about us.

Of course not.

How much?

$5 million.

Just down --

Just down there?

Mm-hmm.

In the gym bag?

Mm.

What?

[ Suspenseful music ]

Reid?





Hey! Reid?!

What are you doing?





Reid, what are you doing?!

What are you doing?!

Did you think I was lying

about the money?

Yeah, I did.

Well, now you know.

No bullshit.

You and me.

That's the way

it's gonna be.

Mm.

Oh, come on, Reid.

Come on, come on, come on.

Stop it.

Oh, come on, Reid.

You might

as well uncuff me.

We both know how this is going

to end, one way or another.

Oh, oh, oh.

Do -- Do -- Do we?

-Do we, though? Do we?

-Ah, we do.

Do we, though? We don't.

Ah...

We do.

We don't.

We do.

We don't.

Do. Do.

We don't. We don't.

Do. Do. Do.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Do. Do. Do. Do.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

-Do, do, do, do, do...

-Don't, don't, don't, don't...

Ah, shut up!

I don't think you see it

from my perspective.

Let me just enlighten you.

There is an opportunity

for me.

Yeah. Right.

Well, what opportunity is that?

Okay, so I don't know

if you know this,

but there's $5 million

in a sweaty

little gym bag downstairs.

No one knows you're here.

No one knows about us.

Your husband will suspect you

as soon as he comes back.

'Cause why would

he suspect me?

I'm just some schmuck that

he met on some business trip,

-like, months ago.

-Mm.

I'm forgotten.

I'm normal. So I'm forgotten.

Okay, all right.

And the only problem

with all of that is...

You.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I know.

I know. I know. I know.

-You.

-Uh-huh.

But if...

you know, you weren't

in the picture anymore...

[ Laughs ]

What? [ Laughs ]

In the picture?

-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

-Okay.

-Well, that's original.

-Yeah.

-That's super-original.

-Yeah.

Are you saying you're going

to try to k*ll me?

Uhh...oh,

what if I am?

I'd say

that you're bluffing.

What if I'm not?

Oh, well, I'm calling it.

Okay. Okay.

How are you gonna do it?

Are you gonna take a knife

from the kitchen

and stab me to death?

[ Gasps ]

Oh. How about this?

A rope from the garage

and strangle me.

-Ooh! [ Gasps ]

-Mm.

Got an antique candlestick

or a lead pipe?

[ English accent ]

Maybe a revolver.

-A wrench, perhaps.

-Uh-huh.

I'm really gonna miss

the fact

that you make

board game references.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

That's nice. That's really

nice for me.

Just trying to add

a little more humor

to your already hysterical

plan of murdering me

and trying to get away

with it.

Don't think I won't.

[ Laughs ]

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

[ Laughing ] Oh, Reid.

Reid.

Quit looking at me

like that.

Who are you --

Jack Nicholson now?

Oh. Oh.

Are you, like, gonna

"Who's Johnny" me?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, my God.

[ Brake clicks ]

Oh, my God.

Hey, stranger.

Hey.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, yeah, let's --

You don't got the

COVIDs, do you?

I've spent all afternoon

in a bar.

-I can't promise anything.

-Come here.

Oh, my gosh.

I cannot believe it.

I don't think

I can either.

I have something. I have

something to show you.

Oh? I...

Okay.

Okay, close your eyes.

[ Emotional music ]

[ Clears throat ]

Ah.

I present to you

Staples Center...

-March 3, 2012.

-Yeah.

-One of my favorite nights.

-Mine, as well.

If we'd only known the year

they'd end up having, huh?

Yeah.

It's my favorite keepsake.

Well, I've never known a player

to give a broken stick

to a couple of fans.

-Well.

-But...

-Carter's cheap, I guess.

-Yeah.

I can't believe

you still have yours.

-Of course.

-Wow.

You know,

when we...ended,

that wasn't good.

And that was on me.

-That was not...

-Oh.

-No, that wasn't...

-Yeah, no, no, no, no.

It's -- You know what?

I-I always understood that

whoever she...

she was, you know...

It was stupid.

It's what you...

you know, what you...

-Yeah.

-Um...

Actually, though, I...

There is something that's kind

of bothered me...

...all these years

I have a question about.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Um...

You know that one night,

that long night

when we drove up

to the Palisades?

Oh, yeah.

You know, we had just left

that cute little beachside bar.

-Mm-hmm.

-I, um...

Well, I, you know,

said that I loved you,

and I was

just kind of wondering

if that maybe got

in the way of things.

Yes.

Oh.

Then.

That's key.

-Because now it --

-Yeah.

You know what?

You know what?

We don't have to talk

about this right now.

I just realized that Reid

is in there

-and there's some kidnapped lady

-Right. Of course.

-and it's a whole situation.

-Let's do...

And we probably should

help him with that, and...

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-We'll come back to this. Let's

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And get that situated,

and then we'll get,

-you know, back to us, you know?

-Mm-hmm.

-Oh, my purse. My purse.

-Get your purse.

sh**t, sh**t, sh**t,

sh**t, sh**t.

I mean, I think this is a great

area and everything, but...

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

[ Laughs ]

Okay, let's go.

Come on. This way, this way,

this way, this way.

[ Door closes ]

-Oh, oh.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on. Come on.

Okay. Down. Down. Huddle.

-What's going on?

-Let's get a huddle.

-Are you okay?

-Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, I saw your car coming.

Okay?

Thanks for coming.

Oh, boy.

Thanks for coming.

-Hey. Hey. Why are you here?

-Hi. Hi. Oh.

You were kind of talking

to both of us.

-Remember, drunkie?

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Great. Good.

You look like hell.

You look like crap.

Thank you. Thank you.

Likewise. Likewise, as*h*le.

-Okay, good.

-You smell like Jack.

So we're gonna do this now.

Are you ready?

-Really? Thank you.

-Maybe we should just...

-I wasn't drinking Jack.

-That's okay, that's okay.

It's not the best time

to catch up.

No, no, no, no.

It's the perfect time.

-I'm very concerned.

-Stop. Stop, stop, stop!

I'm very concerned.

I know you're concerned.

I know you're concerned.

You're gonna be less concerned

in a minute, I promise.

-Okay. Are we going --

-Hands in.

Hands in.

Hands...

Okay. I don't know

what we're doing.

Ready? On three.

We're gonna go,

"One, two, three. Go, team!"

Go, team.

Oh, okay.

So, where is she?

Upstairs.

Sage: Reid?

-We got to...

-This is gonna be fun.

Yeah. It gets better.

You do realize

this isn't gonna be

the easiest of situations

to resolve here?

Oh, yeah. Super-aware of that,

but, you know --

I mean, you got

any bright ideas there?

-I have one, I have one.

-Oh, okay.

But it's gonna require

a little show-and-tell.

So I want you

to look in the bag.

-Right there. Yeah, it's okay.

-Oh, great.

-It's okay. It's okay.

-Do I really want to know?

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

It's not that kind of bag.

[ Sighs ] Mm, mm...

[ Intense music ]

Jiminy Christmas.

How much is in here?

$5 million.

-Really?

-Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Here's the kicker,

though --

Husband doesn't know

about us,

so subsequently does not know

that she is here.

Hm.

Reid, that is seriously not

why you called us here today.

I am not helping you with that.

Sage: Reid!

There she goes again.

That...

Who is that?

-The girl.

-It's the...

I don't know.

What is he doing?

Lincoln.

Sage.

-Wow.

-Lincoln.

Lincoln, Lincoln.

Help me, help me.

You got to -- You got to

get me out of this.

-This man is crazy.

-Okay. Okay.

-Okay. Hey. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

-Adults are talking. Okay, okay.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

-Just wait a second. What?

-Hey.

This is

your quarantine booty call?

No, I'm keeping another girl

in the other room over there.

Yes, of course it is.

How do you know her?

Mm, mm...

Harriet: Um, Lincoln,

what is going on here?

Lincoln? Like familiarity,

like you know him.

How do you know him?

How do you know Lincoln?

Oh, um...

Lincoln: She and I

kind of caught up earlier

when we were on the phone

with you

and then you kind of just

disappeared. Remember that?

Right, right. So now you're

best friends?

That's how it works?

You're quick to make friends.

-No, but, um...

-Quick, quick.

Seven years ago or so,

I was actually living in L.A.

-Oh, of course you were.

-And I never told you. I know.

Didn't tell me.

Why would I have to know that?

Anyway, she and I

were...kind of an item,

I guess you could say.

An item.

I don't know. Whatever

you want to call it.

We were sort of together,

kind of, maybe.

-Yeah.

-Wait, hold on.

So together seven years ago.

So you had talked about, like,

a major, like, love interest

years and years ago.

That's Lincoln, isn't it?

All this time, Carly's been

trying to get this out of you,

-just rip it from you, and...

-You know what?

And it's him.

It's him.

I'm just having a little problem

with this

-'cause it's kind of weird.

-You know what?

-You know what? You know what?

-Him.

-It's --

-This guy.

He's got a couple

of good qualities.

I do. You're acting like

I got nothing.

What is -- Come on.

I mean, I'd like to hear

about them,

Actually a lot of good

qualities.

How is it surprising?

[ Indistinct arguing ]

You know what? You know what?

This, Reid --

This is really

none of your business, okay?

Okay, well, it is my house,

but who cares? My house.

I think

we need to get back

to the more important

question here.

Who is she,

and why do you know her?

What is going on?

That's actually

a really good point.

-Yeah.

-That was my first question.

I'm sorry. That's really

none of your business.

[ Chuckles ]

-Excuse me?

-Yeah, hurts, doesn't it?

I don't know who you are,

but...

But what?

But what? What?

Oh, if I were handcuffed

to a bedpost, honey,

I wouldn't be throwing

any "buts" around, okay?

-Okay. Okay, you know what?

-Lincoln? Lincoln?

I think

we need some drinks, right?

-No. No, no.

-We need some drinks?

Um...I can do this.

Uh, wow.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

-Reid.

-Yeah?

Let me introduce you

to the woman who sent me

on the infamous downward spiral

all those years ago.

-That's great. That's great.

-What?

-Amazing. I love this.

-And, Harriet,

let me introduce you

to the girl who, well...

-The one who...

-Hi.

-So this, this, this, this is...

-Yeah.

This is Christmas.

That's what this is.

This is Christmas for me.

This is really good.

I'm gonna be sick.

This is great.

This is great.

This is good.

This is good.

Harriet, would you like

to polish off

a whole entire bottle

of tequila

that I've been saving

for a special occasion?

-I'll take several shots.

-I think so. She's a tequila

girl. You probably knew that.

-Okay. All right.

-Okay.

I'll be waiting.

-Mm...

-Um...

Go down, have a drink.

Or 2. Or 10.

What are you gonna do?

I'll be down in a minute.

Right.

Okay.

Nice to meet you.

So...

So...

Bit of an awkward reunion.

Tell me about it.

So, what, you start banging

Reid, and you come over here,

and his fiance's

coming home tomorrow,

and you won't leave,

and he beats you unconscious

and does this to you?

Did I hear that right?

That's the gist.

The things some of us go through

during quarantine, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, Lincoln.

You always had a way with words

to lighten the mood.

I don't know that there's

any lightening this mood, Sage.

This is some pretty dark sh*t

going on here.

So, what, you leave me,

run off with some rich guy,

screw around with him

for a few years,

and then you want me back,

the simple life.

But instead of me,

you go to Reid?

I didn't know you knew him.

It's a small world.

[ Sighs ] Very.

And the girl...

-is she the...

-Yep, that's her.

-She was the one?

-That's her.

Oh.

Microscopic world.

Hold on.

What are you doing?

Hold on.

[ Line ringing ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

[ Soft rock music ]

-Kelsey's Pub.

-Hey, it's me.

-Me? Who's me?

-Me, the guy from earlier.

The guy looking to top

your crazy sh*t list.

Yeah, yeah. Sure, kid, sure.

What's going on out there?

Quick update.

That little side hustle

-my buddy's been banging?

-Yeah?

Same girl that was behind

door number two for me.

Get the f*ck out!

As God is my witness.

Jesus Christ.

Well, that's -- that's

just too good, kid.

That's just too good.

You're telling me.

Anyway, okay,

I'll call you later, all right?

Yeah, please do.

All right.

I'll see you.

Really?

You want to --

I don't know...

maybe call the cops

while you're at it?

-You know I'm not doing that.

-Okay.

Okay, Reidy-Schmeidy,

let's get this party going.

You got it. You got it.

Okay.

Let me just find

a glass here.

Real quick.

You know what's funny?

You, you and that girl upstairs,

you have something in common.

-That's fun. Have some of this.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Can it, okay?

That was years before

we worked together.

And I didn't even know

you two were pals.

Okay. We were, like,

way back in high school.

-There you go. Real far back.

-Mm!

Good.

Good. Good. Good.

Back in high school,

a little bit in college.

Then he went off to be a

great filmmaker.

And we all know

how that one turned out.

Super-successful, right?

Well, I don't think he had

a lot of friends, okay?

Like, I get it.

I get the situation. Just...

Okay, okay.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Knock it. Knock it.

There it is. Good.

That's good. That's good.

-Mm!

-Nice, nice. Good. Good.

You know what? You need to lay

off of him a little bit, okay?

-Mm-hmm.

-He's great.

Like, him and I

were great together.

We worked, we had fun.

I don't know if you've ever

noticed this, Reidy-Schmeidy,

but I'm not

the coolest girl ever, okay?

I got weird jokes.

People find me annoying,

but Lincoln, Lincoln gets me.

-Okay. Okay.

-Okay?

Only problem was,

you know, back then, we

-didn't make things exclusive.

-Mm.

...and that wicked witch

upstairs,

-the home-wrecker she is...

-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

crept into his life and...

long story short,

he chose that...wh*re.

Okay, okay. That's good.

That's good.

Again, I just, I mean, it's

funny to me.

I don't know if you're getting

my perspective on this, but

-it's Lincoln with two women.

-Mm-hmm.

Two women for Lincoln.

Two.

It's the two of you.

Two. Dos.

Dos equis. Dos.

"Wow" is all I have to say.

Mm. Okay.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Coming from the man who is

in the most f*cked situation

any man's ever been in.

I do, I do. Thank you.

You're f*cked.

You're f*cked, Reid.

Thank you. Thank you.

Like...

Fa-la-la-la-la,

la-la

-You're f*cked. Yeah.

-Okay, I love that.

You know what?

Christmas carols aside,

I'm open to suggestions 'cause

that's why I brought you here.

Go, go, go.

-You and me go.

-Well, okay.

Guess what.

I have a great suggestion.

How about we do

what you suggested earlier?

What do you think? What do

you think? What you do think?

Earlier...Oh, oh! You mean the

like, the m*rder thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gone, dead.

Dead, dead, deadski.

You know?

Okay, okay, okay. Well, just

spitballing here, but how? How

-would you do--How? How? How?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-I would like to know how.

-Oh, I have a great idea.

Okay. I'd love to hear it.

Love the enthusiasm.

Love the enthusiasm.

Let's hear it.

Oh, okay. Okay.

You take this.

-That's good. That's good.

-And on up we go.

-Okay. All right.

-Yeah.

Well, you're insane.

That's clear now.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

-But love the enthusiasm.

I'm in love,

I'm getting drunk,

-and I hate her.

-Okay.

-So that's...

-Over Lincoln? Hate her

-over Lincoln? That's the--

-Go. Just go.

That's the fun thing

about all of this.

You should just grow

a pair and go.

-Okay. Okay.

-Get it. Go.

-You know what, though?

-I think that's a good idea.

You know what? I'm gonna stop

you right there.

Human being.

Human being upstairs, okay?

Let's just put that

into perspective.

I know a monster,

but still a human being.

-Yeah, let's think about --

Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

We can give her bleach.

It's less painful.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

I didn't mean

another suggestion.

I meant, like,

another way to go.

Like another thing we can do

that doesn't involve

any murdering, death, or

k*lling.

I don't think you're thinking

about this clearly.

-Mm. Mm-hmm.

Her dying?

That's the only way you

and Carly

go back to being the way

you were before this nightmare.

You make it sound

real simple.

-Super-simple when you...

-Oh, it is. It is simple.

It's a simple concept.

Kind of hard to execute,

but, you know.

I mean, Lincoln and I

are here to support you.

That's nice.

That's super-nice of you.

Yeah, yeah.

I appreciate your friendships.

So you would just walk

right in...

...and then straight up

just m*rder the sh*t out of her?

Oh, oh, oh. Hell no.

No, no, no, no, no.

That's you, buddy.

That's all you.

Well, let's brainstorm

'cause I'm...

Um...oh,

like what we should do.

-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

-Okay. Well, okay, clearly --

I'm not liking the knife.

Too messy.

-Knife is just too messy.

-Okay, well,

I mean, the bleach is gonna be

messy, too, 'cause, blegh...

Yeah, I know. She could purge it

up, and then it's...

I mean, who wants to deal

with that?

-COVID. COVID. Perfect.

-COVID.

-We suffocate her.

-Sell me.

We -- We tell them that

she just had the COVIDs.

Okay.

I'm liking it so far.

I'm liking it.

The suffocation thing.

That's a lot cleaner,

for one thing.

-A lot easier.

-Yeah.

But you know

what the problem is?

There's actually an incubation

period of up to five days,

-two days for the virus...

-Wow.

...and then three -- I know. I

learned this.

I learned this. Google.

Google magic.

-Google magic. Okay.

-Yeah. Yeah. Five days.

So she would be symptomatic

in five days

and then maybe die

within those five or six days.

-All right, all right.

-That's too long.

We only have

till tomorrow.

-We could hang her upside down.

-Okay.

-Hang her upside down.

-Make all the blood fl--

I guess that would take

a long time.

It might take a little

while longer, too, yeah.

The pool,

the pool, the pool!

-The pool. Okay, okay, okay.

-We'll drown her.

Make it look like

an accident.

-Aqua death. I like aqua deaths.

-Yeah.

Yeah, okay. So she...

Okay,

so what's the story here?

-You know what? You know what?

-What? What?

We got all this alcohol.

We could get her drunk.

-Yes! Yes!

-We get her super-drunk,

super-duper-drunk, and then

she drank so much,

-and then she --

-She just, boom, drowns.

-Here's the story.

-Gone. Can't swim.

So...

how bad

is it out there?

It's bad.

Most of my colleagues

treat me like

I don't even exist anymore,

you know?

I don't get phone calls

returned, text messages,

that kind of thing.

Just doing these sh*t

infomercials last seven years.

I left that much of a mark

on you, huh?

A bit of a minor depression

did occur when you left, yeah.

But I got to say, most of that

was because of what I gave up.

Not because of you.

Her?

She's really something.

Oh. Really something.

And, you know,

the thing is,

I've been kicking myself

all these years,

and then I find out tonight

she's been thinking

the same thing I have

ever since then.

That's a lot of wasted time,

Sage.

But I'm not you.

Well...

sometimes life sneaks in

through the back doggy door,

you know?

You could try

owning up to it.

I did.

It felt pretty good.

Lincoln, I'm sorry.

[ Jazzy music ]

That didn't really do for me

what I thought it would do.

-Lincoln, come on. I'm --

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Come on, we're...

Me, you...

that's done.

I'm over that.

I just guess I always thought

if I ever heard you say

that to me,

it would make me feel real good.

And, instead, it's just

kind of -- I don't know --

eh, take it, leave it,

pbht.

Lincoln.

-Baby, I really didn't --

-Baby?

Baby? Oh.

Ouch.

Look...

you're stretching now,

aren't you?

You're getting desperate.

I know

when you get desperate.

This has gotten desperate.

Well, all right, Reid.

We certainly got a situation

on our hands, don't we?

-Mm-hmm.

-My ex, my other ex,

your side hustle...

and your girl's

coming home tomorrow.

-Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.

-What are we doing?

Well, we were thinking

of k*lling her, so...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, that's the plan.

-Yeah.

-What are your thoughts?

-Oh, okay, okay.

What?

Well, here's the thing.

-Here's the sitch here. Okay.

-Tell me.

-So if he lets her go...

-Mm-hmm.

...she's likely gonna go to

the police and ruin his life...

-Yeah. Yeah, that's bad.

-and it's not a good

-It's bad, it's bad.

-situation at all.

And if he agrees to the

ridiculous demands...

Insanity.

[Laughs] he's gonna end up

in a foreign country with her...

-Right.

-and we'll never see him again,

-and it'll destroy Carly, and...

-Equally as bad.

...seeing as how they're my

nearest and dearest friends...

Nearest and dearest.

...I don't want

to see that happen.

-Another big problem.

-Right.

Seeing as how you are still

the love of my life,

which is something we can talk

about later, of course...

-I'm not getting into this.

-...and she...

that wh*re kind of drove

a wedge between us,

I really, really, really,

really don't like her...

-Mm-hmm.

-...so that's my motivation.

It's pretty good motivation.

It's about like mine, except

for the "loving you" part...

-Yeah. Mnh-mnh.

-...'cause I'm not there.

I'm not there.

I'm not there, buddy.

I'm just not.

Okay.

-Well, that's all insane, so...

-No.

...maybe we can think

of something else.

I don't know about that.

I think that's a pretty

solid plan, right?

I think that's, like,

the clearest we've thought of.

I mean, there's more to it,

of course.

-It's not just, like, "k*ll."

-No.

There's actually a whole story.

You're gonna love it.

It sounds like just dead,

m*rder, you know, a human being.

-It's the plot of a movie, man.

-Give a second.

You're gonna love this.

Plot of a movie.

Give me a second.

[ Cellphone rings ]

-Kelsey's Pub.

-Hey, what's up, buddy?

So they want to k*ll her.

-k*ll her?

-Yeah.

Pretty sure that's it.

Just k*ll her.

Just dead.

Just nothing.

-Gone. Done. Out.

-Yeah, yeah.

I gotcha.

Well, g*dd*mn, kid.

I knew you was going

for the high score,

but I think you're about

to bust the bank here.

I believe I would advise you

against that.

Right. Yeah, okay.

Gotta go. Bye.

[ Upbeat bar music ]

[ Sneaky music ]

[ Grunts ]



S-S-sh*t.

[ Straining ]



[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

[ Sighs ]















[ Grunts ]



So we just k*ll her?

-Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

-Yeah. Pretty much straight up.

I mean, it's a little more

complicated than that.

You're making it sound simple,

but it's not simple.

-Yeah.

-It doesn't seem that much

more complicated than how

you're saying it.

Well, there's a lot

of moving pieces to it.

Yeah, but we planned it out.

We planned it out.

So in a nutshell,

you've lost your minds.

No, no, no, no.

'cause this sounds

like the talk of someone

who has lost their mind.

As clear as clear can be.

A long talk?

You had a long talk about this?

It's funny you should

say all this stuff

after all the sh*t

that I've done for you.

All the sh*t you've done for me?

-Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I don't think you've done

-anything for me.

-Oh, really?

In fact, one might say

you abandoned me.

[ Laughs ] Okay. One might say.

One might say that.

One might say that.

I'm not saying it.

Who would that one be,

exactly?

Is that the one

that's gonna be the guy who

was my best friend

back in high school

Uh-huh. Here it is.

...who was kind of my friend

in college,

but then he decided to take

one f*cking film class

so that he could become

the next, what was it,

Martin Scorsese?

I think it was Scorsese,

or Spielberg,

or David Fincher,

or maybe it was Nora Ephron.

I don't know.

Maybe you're a little more of a

"You've Got Mail" kind of guy.

I don't know about that,

but either way, he decided

to pick up and move

all the way to, what,

Connecticut of all places?

Why?

Because there was

a Middlesex Film Commission

director's spot available?

'Cause I don't remember that

ever being on the roster

of film locations,

New Hollywood wave.

Maybe that's just me.

I don't know.

Maybe that's just me. But

what ended up being the case?

I think you were,

what was it,

a second unit A.D. on

a "micro-budget feature film,"

which we all know

in Middlesex would be a...

-Porn sh**t.

-Porn, porn, yes.

That was my bad.

How would I know?

-How would I know?

-How would you know?

Gee, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe when someone's

unzipping their pants

-during the audition process.

-You were doing porn?

-It was a one-time thing.

-Okay.

The point is there,

Scorsese wannabe,

it was 15 years,

and in all that time,

you maybe sent me some e-mails

about some crowdsourcing stuff

that you wanted

for some projects

that you were trying to pitch

to everyone else.

So, yeah,

real lovely, lovely stuff.

Not even a "hello." Not even

a, "Hey. How's it going?"

-So screw you, okay?

-Okay, maybe I abandoned you.

-One might say. One might say.

-One might say.

I'm not saying it,

but one might say.

-One might say a lot.

-Not me,

-but one could say.

-What? Right.

One might just suggest.

What would you call it?

Maybe it was because

I was the one

who got by in school

with a C average.

-You were Mr. University.

-Oh! [ Laughs ]

-I was Mr. Community College.

-Guys. Hey.

Hey.

-Hey, hey, hey.

-You know what?

The amounts of tears

you're crying

could just fill

this entire valley.

-Guys! Guys! Guys!

-Okay. Whoa. Here.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Blah blah blah blah.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,

I can't take this crap anymore.

I know. He's awful.

Isn't he?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm awful? I'm awful?

No, no, no. He's sorry.

You're sorry.

No, I'm not sorry.

Don't put words in my mouth.

Can you guys just, like, man up

and shake hands?

There you go.

You guys are such good friends,

like, lifelong buddies.

We're here

for an oh-so joyous occasion.

Now...

you go m*rder

his sloppy seconds.

I'm sorry.

Sloppy seconds?

-His sloppy seconds?

-That's true.

-I don't know about that.

-I had her first.

You had her second.

That's the joke.

Well, sometimes the chef gets it

right on the second turn.

You know what? You might want

to refrain from the jokes,

you know, if we're gonna have

a future together.

Me okay, you not so much.

Okay. Fair enough.

Would you go yell at him?

Now, now, real quick, real

quick. Are you guys okay with

this? 'Cause I'm okay with this.

Obviously I'm all right.

Perfectly all right

with doing this.

But I didn't know

if you were okay with it.

-I'm all right with it.

-Can you live with it?

-Can you live with it? You know

-But I'm not okay with it.

what? I don't care

if you're all right with it.

You're gonna walk up there

and stab her to death,

and that's just gonna be it?

Maybe something

a little more clever than that.

I don't know. I don't know.

Some kind of...

You have a knife in your hand,

you're gonna walk upstairs.

-What else is there to it?

-Okay, okay, fine.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it, okay?

Now, just remember,

you guys are accomplices.

You're the accomplices.

-Straight, shoulders back.

-No, no, no, no.

Okay, okay, okay. I need

the knife. I need the knife.

-Give me the knife.

-You got it.

-Thank you for giving me knife.

-Careful.

-I appreciate that.

-I'm a good guy here.

Okay. So I'm gonna go do this.

All right.

-Yeah.

-I'm gonna go do this.

If you've got the cojones,

go do it.

Of course I have the cojones.

I've always had the cojones.

You're still here talking.

You're still here talking.

There's only two cojones

and I've got them both, so...

-Then go.

-You got it. You got it.

-Then go.

-Okay, okay. I'm gonna go.

Okay.

You're not going.

-You're stalling.

-You guys want to come watch?

You guys want to watch this?

'Cause it's gonna be epic.

It's gonna be pretty amazing.

-Go.

-You don't want to watch?

-No.

-Okay. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I'm on it. I'm on it.

I'm on it like a car bonnet.

You've got this.

You've got this. Whoo!

[ Jazzy music ends ]

sh*t.

Um...

[ Footsteps approaching ]

-Yeah, I can't do it.

-Oh, thank God.

-Nope. Nope.

-Oh, thank God.

Nope, nope.

Not gonna do it.

-Come on, man.

-I can't do it.

-Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.

-Exactly.

You can't just go up

and k*ll this woman.

I know she is who she is, but...

You didn't want me

to do it either, did you?

-Of course not!

-Yes, I did, I did.

But I couldn't do it.

You wanted him to do it?

-It just...

-I couldn't do it.

-It got so real.

-Super-real.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-It got totally real.

-When you picked up the knife,

then I was like, "Oh, God.

What have I done?"

I felt like a badass, though.

Like, I felt like a badass.

You were a badass.

Like, I had the knife,

and I was like,

"I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to go"

But then I thought,

"You know what?

-It's probably not me."

-You were such a badass.

-It's the alcohol.

-I don't think so.

-Reid, Reid. You gotta

-It's the liquid courage.

-go talk to her.

-Yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah.

Let's all go talk to her.

That's actually the best idea

this guy's ever had in his life.

-Let's all go talk to her.

-That's not a bad idea.

I could use some backup.

My friends.

I don't have anything else

to say to her.

You lead the way.

You lead the way.

Come on, come on.

We got to help him out.

Come on.

It's gonna be okay.

-Come on, guys.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

...say to her.

-Oh, sh*t.

-What?

Oh, God.

Oh, boy.

Looks like she lubed

her way free.

Yep. The old slip and lube.

That'll do it.

-Oh, God.

-You know what?

I'm really looking forward

to the day that

John Wilkes Booth shoots you in

the back of the head.

That's gonna be a good day.

And you say you're not mad, huh?

-Well...

-Oh, this is just great.

She's gone, guys. What the hell

are we supposed to do now?

Gone?

Harriet, she's not gone.

-No.

What do you mean?-

She's gone.

She's still here.

How do you know?

Hmm? Hmm?

Yeah.

[ Suspenseful music ]

You satisfied now?

Houston,

we have a problem.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

We should...

Yeah.

[ Gulps ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

-Okay.

-Let's get this wicked witch.

I'm totally getting

a Scooby-Doo mystery vibe.

-Wait, wait, wait.

-Take it easy. Take it easy.

I've got to get my

light. I've got to get my light.

All right. Are we ready

to call the police yet?

We're not gonna call

the police.

-That's a terrible idea.

-Yeah. No police, ever.

Okay.

In case you haven't noticed,

she's now cut the power

to the house.

When did she do that?

You know as well as

I do that she's a wacko.

Okay. Wacko's a good word

to describe her.

Wacko's an understatement.

She's a psychopath.

No, no, no.

I like the word "wacko."

Psychopath's, you know,

just played out.

Oh.

She's a wacko-path.

Wacko-path.

I like that.

That's good. That's good.

I like that.

I like that a lot, actually.

Wacko-path. Wacko-path.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Oh, hold on.

-Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.

-Oh, my God.

Shush, shush,

shush, shush, shush!

Okay, okay, okay.

Hello, Sage?

See what you've gone

and done now, honey?

You've made this

incredibly complicated.

Yeah, well, okay. You might have

a point there. Yeah, all right.

Those two,

those two friends of yours...

they know now.

What do you mean,

"they know now"?

Are you saying that

if I ran away with you,

then I wouldn't be able to

associate with my friends?

That's very controlling.

I don't like being controlled

like that, Sage. Kind of weird.

Connections to your ex-fiance

would be unhealthy, Reid, hon.

Oh, we're gonna talk

about unhealthy now.

You are gonna lecture

me on unhealthy.

That's cute. That's cute.

-[ Whispering ] Outside.

-Yeah.

Just keep her on the phone,

okay?

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Don't try to be witty, hon.

It doesn't suit you.

Yeah.

Don't call me "hon" anymore.

That's a stupid nickname.

I don't like it.

It's like when people

call each other "babe."

I hate that word, too.

I don't know why. I hate them.

So, what, hon?

What's your plan?

Are you and I gonna start

being you and I?

Or are you gonna try

to k*ll me?

Those are really

your only two options,

and those two friends

of yours

that you sent outside

to go look for me,

they're really not

gonna help you and me.

Okay. You know what?

I have an idea.

Why don't we leave my friends

out of this, huh?

We could

just send them on back,

and it could

just be you and me.

Just you and me.

You and me, Sage, huh?

What do you say to that?

'Cause I like that idea.

I think it's a good idea.

It's a really fantastic idea.

It can be the adventures of

Reid and Sage. What do you say?

I wanted it just to

be you and me,

and it's going to be you

and me.

I'm not crazy.

Reid, I'm totally not.

Got it?

I know it might seem like

I'm acting

like a nutty chick

in some Friday night

Lifetime Network movie.

But I promise you,

I'm totally sane.

Cut the crap, Sage.

Come on.

Stop it.

Listen to me.

[ Laughs ]

Face it, hon --

I am in control here.

Okay. Okay.

Over there.

Across the pool,

by the solar lights.

Oh, yeah, I see that.

There's something over there.

Do you think it's her?

Maybe.

Let's go check it out.

-I'll go around.

-Okay.

-Lincoln, wait. Wait, wait

-What? What? What?

She's insane, you know?

Yeah, of course I know.

I mean,

we could die tonight.

[ Romantic music ]

Yeah, I suppose we could.

This could be it.

It could.

I, um...

I don't want to have

any regrets, Lincoln.

No.

No, no, no.

Regrets aren't good. No.

No. No, no.

I've had a regret for

seven years.

This is corny, isn't it?

Yeah. Very corny.

Do you care that it's corny?

I don't care at all.

No. It's fine.

If, um...

I were to tell you

right now that I loved you,

would that get

in the way again?

Oh.

Bottoms,

when we were together...

Yeah?

...all those years ago,

those were --

Those were the best.

Those nights,

you know, the Palisades.

-Long nights.

-Beautiful nights.

You know what I do to pass

the time now?

What?

-I go to bed early.

-Mm.

I don't like

going to bed early.

Well, you know, it's getting

kind of late right now.

I love you.

Mm.



[ Laughs ]

That was a weird lead

into that, wasn't it?

It was very weird.

We also just kissed

during a pandemic.

Are we supposed

to do that?

I don't know, but I love

breaking the rules with you.

Are you scared?

-Oh, terrified. Terrified.

-Me too.

-That's probably the reason.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

Let's go find what's her name

before she kills Reid.

Oh, yeah. After you.

Let's find her.

Hey, Sage, let me

ask you something.

Just being serious here.

Do you get, like,

a sick pleasure

screwing with

people's lives?

You know, me, Lincoln,

your husband,

probably your parents.

-Aah! God!

Mm, okay.

The man cheating on

his fiance is gonna judge me.

[ Suspenseful music ]

[ Whispering ]

One, two, three.

[ Gasps ]

Damn it.

Maybe she went out front.

-Oh, wait a second.

-What?

I seriously doubt

she cut the power.

-The breaker boxes!

-Oh.

She probably

just shut them off.

-I think I know where they are.

-All right.

Okay, since I'm the fast one,

I'll run and go.

-[ Sighs ]

-Come on. You know this.

I'm gonna go shut them on.

[ Whispering ]

You go check on Reid,

because he needs help,

so...

Should we be splitting up

like this?

Come on.

Fair enough.

I'll be back.

Yeah,

I'm sure you will.

-Come on, tiger.

-Okay.

[ Mysterious music ]





Woman: Good night.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]



[ Ominous music plays ]





Reid?

Huh? [ Gasps ]

[ Footstep ]

sh*t.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

sh*t, sh*t,

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Hey, hey, hey!

Let's not go outside.

Come on, come on, come on.

Have a snack.

Have a snack.

Maybe some tea.

We'll just figure this out.

-I don't want a snack.

-Okay. All right. Okay.

I had pretzels.

Carly, Carly,

what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I got home early to

surprise you.

[ Gasps dramatically ]

-Surprise!

-Yeah, I know. Super-surprised.

-Why is Harriet's car out front?

-Yeah, okay, okay.

-Yeah, yeah.

-And who's the other car?

Good questions.

Good questions. Yeah.

-And why is the power off?

-Well, well, well...

And whose bag is this?

Reid, what the hell

is going on?

-Need police, okay?

-The police?!

-Yes.

-Aah!

Who the hell is that?!

-Oh. That, that's just a client.

-A client?

Yes. Yes.

-Reid, what is going on here?

-Where's your phone?

-Where's your phone?

-It's in my bag.

I put it in my bag

before I got out of the car.

Why would you do that?!

Because I didn't know I was

walking into a home invasion!

Okay. We got to be prepared

for these things.

Why would I prepared

for a home invasion?!

I don't know.

These are the kind of things

that happen when

you least expect them. Okay?

What is going on?!

They don't plan these in

advance.

-It's not like "Home Alone."

-Reid.

[ Suspenseful music ]

Hold on to your butts.

You got this, girl.

That's got to be.

Hang on. Hang on. Okay.

I'm not going out there

with a crazy lady.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

You need a weapon.

A knife.

There's a knife by sink.

Go by. Go get it.

-A knife?

-Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Just use your feels, baby.

Use your feels.

Okay, watch your cute-cutes.

Watch 'em!

Watch your cute-cutes. No.

Don't cut them. Don't cut them.

Good. Yes. Do you hear?

Do you see it?

Do you feel it? Where is it?

You got it? You got it?

Good. Let's go outside.

Come on.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunts ] Come on.



Oh.



[ Grunts ]

Hey!

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Sage. Sage. Sage. Sage.

-Don't.

-Sage, Sage. Sage, Sage.

Sage, Sage.

Come on now. 6 feet.

Right? Wear the mask.

Wear the mask.

I'll admit this has escalated

just a little bit.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Escalated.

That's kind of putting it

mildly, I would say.

All right. So it's blown through

the f*cking roof.

-Whatever.

-Reid, who is this?

Oh, you wouldn't know who I am,

sweetie.

What do you want?

Oh, nothing you can give me.

Sage, let her go.

Okay?

Just let her go.

Let her go, Sage.

-Come on.

-Oh, Reid.

I think you know what needs

to happen now, yeah?

Don't do this.

Come on.

Come on now.

Why don't you tell her

about us, honey?

Reid.

Okay, Reid, I'll tell her.



You've been gone a long time,

sweetie.

He and I,

well, you might say...

we broke quarantine.

[ Screams ]

Oh, come on now, sweetie.

Sage. Look, we're done, okay?

We're over.

We're through.

It was a mistake.

It was a terrible,

terrible mistake, okay?

Carly, Carly,

it was a terrible mistake.

Oh, my God, guys.

I'm coming.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

-I'm -- Aah!

-Shush, shush, shush, shush.

Oh, my God. What's going on?

I heard a scream.

-His fiance is back.

-Oh, my God.

The garage, it leads

to the kitchen, right?

-There's a door in there.

-Oh! Yeah, there's a code.

-There's a code.

-Open the door. Open the door.

-Come on.

-Is this what you want to do?

You talk about me

throwing away my life.

Is this what you want to do

to throw away your life?

You want to do this to her?

'Cause this is gonna end

your life. Okay?

This is it.

This is it, Sage.

You know, the first night

I met him,

there was this perpetual bliss

in the air.



We went home together

that night.

We went home here,

in this house.

And again. And again.

Oh, and again, and

again, and again.

Reid!

-No, no.

-Oh, remember how I kissed you?

Don't listen to her.

Carly, it's okay.

Carly, it's gonna be okay.

You always did like that,

didn't you?

Carly, Carly, Carly.

It's gonna be okay.

Blame it on the COVID

shutdown, Reid, if you want.

It's all right.

That you were bored

and nothing to do.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay. Carly.

-That's all bullshit.

-It's okay.

-It's gonna be okay.

-Nothing to do.

-Shut up!

-It's gonna be okay.

Shut up!

You and I started this thing

before that thing.

Your sweet fiance here

wasn't gone two days,

and what do you do?

Aah! Damn it!

Oh, okay.

Go on!

Go fish, b*tch!

You dropped

your favorite toys.

Okay? All right?

Give me those.

Oh.

Yeah, stay.

Hey, don't move.

[ Handcuffs clicking ]

Come on.

Tight as they go, Carly.

[ Handcuffs click ]

Okay.

There you go.

Nice moves, Car-Bar.

O'Shar.

Would someone please tell me

what is going on here?!

-Okay, okay.

-And who are you?

-I'm Lincoln. Good to meet you.

-Oh.

You know what?

It's not the time.

You don't have

to listen to him.

I'm just saying.

We came all the way...

He's probably

a little bit drunk.

I'm real glad

you made it in safe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Super-glad you made it.

-Yeah, the flight was great.

-You came in early.

-What happened?

-I did come in early.

Yeah, exactly.

What happened?

Who is this guy?

[ All talking at once ]

You brought a date

to a crime scene?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[ All talking at once ]

-Shh. Okay.

-You're all talking at once.

I cannot hear you.

What happened?

Okay, well, one of us

should just tell the story.

-Okay, Reid.

-What?

This is Lincoln.

He's the love of my life

from seven years ago.

Why none of my relationships

have ever worked out.

-Can we shake now?

-No, we cannot shake.

-Okay.

-Yeah, don't touch his hand.

-This is the guy?

-Yeah, this is him.

-Yeah. And, anyway...

-Okay, we...

...I called him

because I'm back

and I was at a bar

all day drinking.

Why are!?

And he was wigging out,

and I came over --

You guys!

Somebody has to tell me

what's going on here!

[ All talking at once ]

Why is there a girl

in my kitchen?!

She's psycho.

I see that.

I don't need you

to tell me that.

Oh, my God.

Then she gets a little wacky.

And I had a little bit

too much to drink.

[ All talking at once ]

Yeah, we invented a word for

her, which is "wacko-path."

-Harriet's word, really.

-Well, yeah.

Maybe we should

call the police.

-Guys. Guys.

-What?

That's our luck,

isn't it?

Ohh.

That's great.

-Yep.

-It is great.

She really is gone

this time.

Well, this time.

-Typical Sage.

-Not forever.

Yeah.

She's not coming back

after I threatened her

with a knife,

right?

-No.

-Well...

You did threaten

her with a knife.

I'm so sorry.

It was good

to see you again.

Let's do this again

in another seven years, yeah?

We'll do something

a little different next time.

Maybe go to a amusement park

or something.

I know.

I'm just exhausted.

I thought coming in early

would be a good thing.

-I'm gonna go call the police.

-Yeah. That's a good idea.

You know what?

I'll help you out.

Okay.

All right, so unfortunately

it seems like

we can't get ahold

of her husband.

He was supposed to be

on business in New York.

We contacted the hotel,

and he never checked in.

We sent a unit over to his

residence, and no one answered.

Do you have any idea

where she might be?

No.

That'll top it.

Top of the list.

I couldn't have made that up,

not in my wildest dreams.

Yeah, well, he's

about to get

the biggest a*s chewing

known to man.

They gonna make it work?

Probably not.

Did he love her?

Which one?

Either, I guess.

Crazy side hustle?

Nah.

His fiance?

I don't know.

If I was to give a professional

watering hole opinion,

I'd say

these are hectic times.

People are cooped up.

They don't know what to think.

And as old Norman Bates

used to say,

we all go

a little mad sometimes.

This pandemic, well,

maybe it drove him to it.

Yeah, but they started this

whole thing before the pandemic.

Well, then it kept him busy.

Gave him something to do.

I'll tell you,

it's a dangerous time

to be a lover out there,

kid.

That's

your professional advice?

Ah, Jesus Christ.

What do you want from me?

I'm a bartender.

It's past midnight,

and, yeah,

I'm kind of blowing smoke

out my a*s at this point.

You want a doctor's opinion,

talk to Dr. Phil.

All right. All right.

Easy, old man.

Easy.

Hey...

this whole thing

stays between us, right?

f*ck you. What?

You think I'm some kind of rat?

Listen, I ain't never talked

to the cops in my life,

and I ain't gonna start now.

I didn't do that back

in Bensonhurst.

I sure ain't

gonna do it in L.A.

What I'm saying is,

your secret's safe with me.

You shutting down shop yet?

Come on, kid.

Bring her over.

You think

they'll be okay?

I honestly don't know.

Hm.

I just feel really bad

for Carly, you know?

Yeah, I hear you.

-Hey...

-Hmm?

...if we, um,

start this,

should I be worried?

Oh. Come here.

Don't worry.

[ Peaceful music ]

What about that maniac

on the loose?

-Sage?

-Yeah.

Nah.

Don't worry about her.

But, I mean...

Besides, you could take

her, easy.

-Yes, I could. Yes, I could.

-Yeah, you could.

What if she comes back?

What if the police find her

and she gets a lawyer?

What if she talks

to her husband?

Reid, what are we gonna do?

Don't worry about it, Carly.

We'll be fine.

[ Woman vocalizing ]



[ Sighs ]

[ Taps ]



Where did we go wrong?

I don't know.

Were you happy

when I proposed to you?

I was happier at home.

That's fair.

What do we do now?



Boy, I tell you.

Of all the sh*t that happened

during this crisis,

I never thought the story

I'd remember most

would be about

some squirrel-bait b*tch

hell-bent on trying to keep

an affair alive.

Well, if you're gonna

put it that way,

all I can say is, the things you

go through during quarantine.

Mm.

-That was some sh*t, all right.

-Mm.

sh*t happens.

That it does.

-sh*t, it did happen. It does.

-Yes. Yes, it does.

Look, you're back in town,

right?

You ain't got no plans.

You looking for work?

Yeah, I am.

I am.

Come back in

day after tomorrow.

I could use a good

right-hand man.

I'll be here.

Thanks.

I can't live without you

Time doesn't heal all pain

The hurtin' never goes away

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

To an unbelievable night.

It was something.

I've tried hard

to forget you

Ahh!

Well.

"Well" what?

What's first?

Oh, I don't care

what's first.

I don't care

what's second.

I don't care

what's 3rd, 4th, 18th, 19th.

As long as it's us.

Like it should have been

the whole time.

But, instead, you know,

I made us not us.

Shh, shh, shh.

Listen, mister.

You're my knight

in shining armor,

and don't you

ever forget it.

-Okay, Katharine Hepburn.

-You know you love it.

Didn't know

you were gonna recite

-another cheesy movie quote.

-You know you love it.

-Come on. What about this here?

-What?

Oh, yeah.

I think it's time.

Time to bring them

together. Right?

-It's been a long time.

-Oh. Oh.

Oh, you got it?

You got it in straight?

Whoo!

You know who'd be proud?

-No.

-Carter.

Yeah. Well, anyway...

-We'll fix it later.

-Yeah, we'll fix it later.

I got some tape,

so that'll be good.

Good. All right.

Well, what do you say?

Another fun night

at the Palisades?

Let's drive out there.

I'm ready for some alone moments

with you.

The hurtin' never goes away

Your memories won't fade

I've tried hard

to forget you

To push it all aside

But no matter it is I do

I can't shake you off

my mind

I'll hang up the phone

Come and get you

then and there

And we can just start over

Just tell me when and where



'Cause I can't live

without you

Time doesn't heal all pain

The hurtin' never goes away

Your memories won't fade

Good to be home.

Okay. I want you early tomorrow.

I'm expecting a delivery.

-Right?

-I'll be here early.

-Okay? Okay.

-I'll be here for the delivery.

I got this, all right?

Don't worry.

We're gonna try to find

an open restaurant.

They close early

'cause of COVID.

Yeah, yeah.

We got to get going.

-Fly, lovebirds, fly.

-And it's always

-so wonderful to see you, so...

-Of course, sweetheart.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

[ Suspenseful music ]

[ Gasps ]

Lincoln!



Hello, daddy.

Hello, sweetheart.



[ Rock music plays ]





[ Man scatting ]







Kelsey: [ Echoing ] Hey.

Where's your mask?

Reid:

Oh, what's wrong with you, man?!

What did you do?

What did you do?

Why? Why?

Why would you do that?

What was the point of that?

I'd like to just...

[ Man scatting ]

Kelsey: [ Echoing ] Hey.

Where's your mask?

Where's your mask?

[ Music ends ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]
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