A Christmas Gift from Bob (2020)

[bunniefuu]

Good evening, sir. This way.

Champagne?

Aw. Look!

Bob! Gorgeous.

- Isn't he adorable?

- Ooh.

Look at that.

Oh! Bob the cat!

Look at that.

There he is.

There's great demand

for his work right now.

This way!

Thank you, sir. Perfect.

Can I have everybody's

attention, please?

Thank you.

Welcome, everybody, to our

annual authors' Christmas party.

Hear, hear.

Hear, hear.

Some of you are familiar faces

and some of you are new,

and it is such a pleasure

to see all of you here today.

It's going to be

a tremendous evening,

- with some fabulous speakers.

- Oh, yeah. Thanks, mate.

But I would first

like to welcome...

- Here you are, Bob. Shh.

- One of our new authors,

James Bowen,

and his companion, Bob.

Well done. There you go.

The story of how these two lost souls

met and saved each other

here on the streets of London

has touched readers

from all over the world.

And we are delighted to announce

that James is hard at work

on his new book

about their adventures,

aren't you, James?

Which we cannot wait

to publish next August.

What are we doing here, mate?

80, um, Mr. Bowen,

what does the big day

hold in store for you?

Oh, you know, Turkey with

the trimmings, I guess,

in front of the TV.

Pigs in blankets for him.

So, nothing special, then?

Oh, that's pretty

special for us.

Of course. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean...

Can I say hello to Bob?

Oh, Jacqueline Wilson.

Hello, Jacqueline.

- Hi.

- Yeah, of course.

Thank you. Hello, Bob.

- Love your books.

- Oh. That's so nice.

Not Bob, obviously.

Can't read.

But, um, yeah.

I see you're sneaking away.

I don't blame you.

Such a posh invite.

Couldn't say no.

I know. Congratulations,

though, on your new book.

Or should I say commiserations?

I recognized

the look on your face.

You did?

You haven't started it yet,

have you?

Not yet, no.

I can't, um, settle on a story.

I know the feeling.

I'm sure you'll

get an idea soon.

They often happen

when you least expect it.

So, good luck with it, anyway.

Thank you. Lovely to meet you.

And you too.

Aw, merry Christmas, Jay!

Come and get your mulled wine.

Nice cat, mate.

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Juggle? Are you ready,

ladies and gentlemen?

Here we go.

That's it. Like that.

Can you believe this?

Merry Christmas.

- Get off!

- Get his legs!

I haven't done anything.

Get off me.

- Hold him down.

- Get off me.

I haven't done anything.

You're hurting me. Get off.

You're causing a scene,

all right? Stay down.

- Stay down.

- I haven't done anything.

Stay down.

Or you're gonna hurt yourself.

- Hey! What's going on?

- Hold him.

Why are you holding him

on the ground?

Does it need three of you, really?

Well, well, well.

If it isn't cat boy.

- Long time no see.

- It's you.

Still your old

charming self, I see.

Tell you what, you can

sling your hook right away.

All right, what's going on?

Just standard stuff,

really, love.

Uh, ill*gal busker. Got a bit

punchy, but we calmed him down.

- What's wrong with you?

- Excuse me, officer.

- I thought I told you to piss off.

- Do you know this person?

No, but I'm pretty sure

he wasn't breaking the law.

Yeah, he was busking

over there, in Camden,

not there in the

borough of westminster.

And?

And you need a permit

to busk in westminster.

- You don't need one in Camden.

- Oh.

- All right, phone it in.

- Look, this is stupid.

Can we just charge this guy

and then we can all go home?

Charge him with what?

Playing his guitar?

You knew he was legal,

didn't you?

Control. That's confirmed.

He's right. Let him go.

Let, let him go? Let him go?

- It's unbelievable.

- That's as*ault.

- I wanna press charges.

- Just walk away. Trust me.

Calm down.

He hasn't done anything wrong.

- But he's getting away.

- I said calm down.

So what's the story?

Are you Harry Potter's lawyer?

- Excuse me? Mm.

- All that legal stuff.

Borough of this and that,

and a magic cat

on your shoulder.

Let's just say

I'm familiar with the law.

It's a pretty chill cat.

Most of the time.

Saw him giving the eye

to that dickhead back there.

- Yeah.

- He knows you, doesn't he?

Yeah. Ghost of Christmas past.

Him and Bob and me

have a bit of history.

Bob.

That's one house burger.

- Can I get the bill, please?

- Yes, right away.

- And a saucer?

- Mm-hm.

Thank you.

They do serve

something resembling food

at the Christmas shelters,

you know.

That obvious, eh?

Haven't been to

a shelter since this.

Stanley knife. Sliced straight

through my sleeping bag.

Lucky they only took

my money belt.

Okay.

Have you tried monmouth street?

There's a warm air vent

above the kitchen to that hotel.

You're one of them

outreach workers.

No. God squad?

I used to be in

the same boat as you.

I was homeless too.

I ended up on heroin.

Junkies. Hate 'em.

Not as much as

they hate themselves.

So how'd you get clean?

Magic cat?

He helped me get clean,

Learn a few lessons

I needed to learn.

Like that.

Fall down seven times,

get up eight.

Except sometimes you can't.

'Cause you've got nothing

to get up for.

'Cause you feel like you're

nothing, got nothing to give.

- I know. I know.

- You don't know anything.

I don't know why I came here.

Just so someone else

can preach at me.

That is all anyone does,

especially at this time of year.

I should have just let them

bang me up over Christmas.

Sit down, okay?

Finish your food.

All right. Give me five minutes.

No preaching, cross my heart.

Just a story.

Okay? Sit down.

Five minutes.

It was a few years ago.

After I got clean.

The last Christmas me and Bob

worked on the streets.

Yeah. Don't blame you, mate.

Not even a please?

Sorry, mate. Guess we're out.

No. No, no, no. Oi, you.

Stay there. Stay there, okay?

Back before you know it.

Don't let the elephants out.

Ah. Where is my good friend Bob?

He, uh, sent me

to fetch his breakfast.

Hmm. I told you he was

the wise one round here.

What time do you close tonight?

I've gotta top up

my electric after work.

Uh, 10:00.

Got a late delivery.

Christmas stock.

Another week of that word.

Hmm. Not exactly my favorite

time of year either.

Oh.

Oh, it's the anniversary.

I'm sorry, moody.

Ah, it's okay.

Anyway,

Christmas is all right.

We have all to believe

in something. Hmm?

Christmas. Krishna.

Cricket.

I suppose I'm buddish.

Buddish?

Yeah, I sort of

believe in buddhism.

Karma, all that kind of stuff.

Ah, Karma.

What goes around comes around.

Like the poor butter maker.

Why do I feel

one of your stories coming on?

He was a farmer.

His best customer

was a shop owner

who ordered one kilo

of butter every month.

In return, he paid the farmer

flour, beans and...

One kilo of sugar.

Okay.

One day, the shop owner

weighed the butter,

but it was only 900 grams,

not a kilo.

Ooh, he got very angry.

"I am going to call

the police on you."

The farmer, he was polite.

He said he was a poor man,

couldn't afford to buy

the weights for his scales,

so he measured the butter

with the only weight he had.

The kilo of sugar.

Exactly.

Do good, it will be repaid.

- Do bad...

- Less butter on your bread.

Here.

- For Bob.

Merry krishna.

Thank you.

J oh, bring us

some figgy pudding j

j oh, bring us

some figgy pudding j

j oh, bring us

some figgy pudding j

j and bring it right here j

j we wish you

a merry Christmas j

j we wish you a merry Christmas

a merry Christmas and... j

oh, surprise!

- Bloody hell.

- I used your spare key.

Do you like it?

I thought you could use

some Christmas cheer.

There's a lot of things

I could use right now.

Like getting my gas

and hot water back on.

Haven't had a shower

in three days.

Thought there was

a nasty niff in the air.

Come on. Good boy.

Nan always did

this in my family.

Bits of wisdom, prayers,

wishes for the new year.

You write things you were

thankful for in the old one

and then you just hang

them on the tree.

"Thank you for

James's friendship."

See? It's not so bad.

"Angels are all around us

if we just know where to look."

Seriously?

You really don't like

the holidays,

do you, ebenezer grinchface?

I need to work out

what's gonna keep me and Bob

going for the month.

Fifteen...

Go on, then, grinchface.

Give us the news.

I need 200 quid

to last the month.

What?

Fifteen to get gas

and electric back.

Then four quid a day.

Bus and tube, say 40 quid.

Papers to sell

during the Christmas rush.

Two weeks' food for me and Bob.

- Call that 50 more.

- Okay.

It's been ages

since he's had a checkup.

Gotta see a vet soon.

Still seems a lot.

Especially the heating.

Earth to bea.

We're in the worst

cold snap for years.

Earth to grinchface.

Homeless guy came in to us

last week with frostbite.

He lost three toes.

I got given this place

for a good reason, you know.

And no one is regretting

giving it to you.

It was a big step,

and they were happy to help.

Hold on.

A friend. Dr. Becky.

She's doing a free vet clinic

at the project on Friday.

Bring Bob.

If you two are still speaking.

Okay, mate. You stay there,

all right? It's cold out.

No, Bob. Bob. Stay. Stay.

All right, mate.

Come on, then.

Come on, then. Let's go.

There's your daddy.

Hey, darling. How'd you get on?

Well, she did very good,

but we have to stop giving

her all those treats.

Okay.

Okay.

A tale of two kitties, eh, Bob?

If I could afford it,

I would, you know.

- Spare some change?

- No, mate.

- Hey, James.

- Hey.

- Busking in town?

- Maybe later.

- See how the papers go first.

- Ah.

- You've got competition today.

- Yeah.

Any spare change

for fighting poverty?

Hey, mate.

You got any spare change?

No? You got a nice suit, though.

Any spare change? No?

All right, Bob.

Good boy.

Hello, love, you all right?

Get your blanket out.

Here you are, Bob. Good boy.

Any spare change?

All right, mate. There you go.

- Good boy.

- Any spare change would help.

- Big issue. Big issue!

- Spare change?

- They're nice and christmassy.

- Yeah, I like it.

Give it a try. Help or buy.

It's getting busy, isn't it?

- Big issue, madam?

- Everyone's got a gimmick.

Big issue! Big issue, sir?

- Hello, James.

- Hi, Irene.

Hello, Bob.

- Bit hectic today.

- Yeah, nightmare.

- Well, must be off.

- See you.

Bye, Bob.

Big issue. Big issue, madam?

Big issue. Big issue, madam?

Any spare change, please?

Every little helps.

Watch where you're stepping.

Oh, piss off, mate.

I can step where I like.

Just be careful

is all I'm saying.

You shouldn't have

your stupid cat in the way.

Mate, I'm just trying

to work here.

- Well, yeah. So am I.

- Right, okay. Idiot.

What'd you say? Huh?

You want some, then, eh?

- Come on, then. Let's have it.

- Hey, James, no.

Just walk away, okay?

I'm just trying to work here.

- We can't have this out here.

- He just nearly stepped on Bob.

It shouldn't be in the way.

I've never heard of

that charity.

James, people are watching.

People are watching.

- You should watch yourself.

- Can you go?

- All of them are just scammers.

- I know.

Listen, why don't you just come

back and do this tomorrow?

You're not gonna sell anything

anyway, not with this lot round.

- Yeah.

- Okay? Sorry.

No, you're probably right.

This way sir. Yeah.

- Yeah. Looking very good.

- Look into the lens, please.

Oh. What a splendid cat.

Ah.

Ah. Sorry. He's a bit hungry.

Ah. Well,

I'll tell you what...

Now, you buy her something

lovely to eat tonight, okay?

- Thank you so much.

- Jolly good.

Let's get a photograph,

shall we?

- Make it a good one.

- Great. Fabulous.

Right, very good.

Uh, well, happy Christmas

to both of you.

- And you. Thank you.

- There we are!

This way, sir!

Give us a smile! Lovely.

Mug.

Look at that.

A thousand... something.

I'd like to change this, please.

Sure.

Have you

seen one of these before?

It's an Albanian iek.

Well, it's one thousand

Albanian iek.

- Albanian iek.

- Lek.

Which converts

to just over seven...

Seven pounds sterling.

Uh, seven pounds and 55 pence,

to be precise.

Okay. Yeah, I'll take it.

Well, we need our commission,

I'm afraid.

You see, we have

a ten-pound minimum.

I'm sorry.

But you could try

the Albanian embassy, maybe.

- Do you know where it is?

- You could Google it.

Thanks.

I like your cat.

I've just explained.

I've already been to four shops.

They're not selling it anywhere.

- Some woman.

- Hey. Bloody hell.

Are you okay?

I'll look in one other shop...

Yes. Yeah.

- Thank you.

- Lunatic.

Look, we can, um... down here.

- I just didn't see him coming.

- No.

- Obviously.

- Um...

- You, uh, you hold on to Bob.

- Ooh. Yes.

Some people, eh?

Just don't look

where they're going.

There you are.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

That's okay. Don't thank me.

Thank Bob.

Don't miss a thing,

do you, mister?

What a character you are,

sitting there without

a care in the world.

- Okay, can I...

- Yes.

Come on, then, Bob. Let's go.

Let's go, Bob. Let's go.

Okay.

Oh. Hang on. I'm sorry. Um...

Oh, blast. I never

have any cash.

Oh, don't worry.

It's fine, honestly. It's okay.

Well, what's your spot?

I could pop by

and buy a magazine

or listen to you play.

Uh, covent garden,

or angel, outside the tube.

Angel. Of course.

- Okay. Hope you're okay.

- Thank you.

J that's just life j

j I hear that said a lot j

j that's just life j

j head down, shot up j

- thank you.

- Take care.

J that's just life j

j whose life? J

j not mine j

j oh, I'll piece it together

I'll make it better j

j take what I'm given

and make it bigger... j

the cat's had no say

about whether it's

out here or not, has it?

Well,

he doesn't have to do anything.

He's just sat there.

All I'm saying, love,

is that that cat does

not look happy to me.

Poor little moggy.

I mean, it's freezing out here.

And imagine being stuck

with a waster like that.

I mean, if you ask me,

people like that,

they shouldn't even be allowed

to own a hamster.

Look, I don't know

who you pissed off

to get you transferred to us,

but you stick to the driving

and I'll stick to the animals.

And, please, don't call me that.

- All right. Sorry, sweetheart.

- Give me strength.

No! Come here!

Oi, oi. Here we go.

Get him away from my cat.

Come back here you... Oi, titan!

- Hey, can you control your dog?

- You stupid mutt.

That's what I'm talking about.

He's endangering that cat.

- Dragging him out here.

- Fine.

You're animal welfare, aren't

you? Why don't you do something?

Fine. We'll pay him

a proper visit later.

But first let's sort out

this comedian.

What's the matter with you?

- Light there, yeah?

- Light here?

It's a bit smudged there, yeah?

That's good, man.

Do the side bit here.

Here you go, Bob. Look.

Hey, look. Food.

Hey, Bob, what's the matter?

You not hungry?

Hey, what's the matter?

Are you okay?

Hey? Are you hurt?

Did that dog do this?

Okay.

Little bit of cold

in there as well.

Gonna get a bit of this in.

It's gonna be nice, Bob.

Yeah. Nice bubbles.

Nice. Nice bit of water.

Get you all clean.

Look at that. Right.

Okay. Let's get this up here.

And then... you gonna come in?

Come on. Come on, Bob.

Sorry, mate. You haven't got

a choice. You gotta do this.

Can't let that get infected.

Come on, Bob.

Come on, Bob.

There you go. Good boy.

See? Not so bad, is it?

There you go. Good boy.

Good boy. There you are.

Now you like it. Well done, Bob.

Here, look.

There you go, Bob. Good boy.

Good boy.

Okay, take you out.

There you go. Good boy.

Let's get you

wrapped up in a towel.

Yeah, just checking me socials.

Oh, I like thejumper.

Wow. Grinchface found a sense

of humor. Hello, handsome.

I thought I'd take you up

on the offer.

- The vet. It's today, right?

- What vet?

- What?

- No, I'm just kidding.

It is today. Right over there.

You setting up for

Christmas dinner?

Yeah. We're expecting about 60.

Some telly, board games...

Ah, I love a bit of monopoly.

Well, you know what they say.

"All property is theft."

I'll leave you to it.

Come find me later.

Okay.

No, leave the chicken alone.

Don't look at the chicken.

Okay, who's next?

So, this is the famous Bob.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- All good, I hope.

Yeah. Yeah, all good.

So, how's he doing?

Actually, he got

a bit of a scratch yesterday.

Um, a dog went for him.

I don't know if it was that

or he got caught

trying to get away.

Just back here.

Um, I didn't notice it

till I got home.

Let's have a look.

- It's okay, mate. You're okay.

- Ooh. Yeah, I see.

Yeah, it's not much,

but you're right to come

and get it looked at.

There's always

a danger of infection.

All right, well,

why don't you leave him with me?

- Um... I'll be ten minutes.

- Okay.

You be good.

I'll take care of you, Bob.

- Need a hand?

- That'd be good, yeah.

What's that saying?

"Christmas isn't a season.

It's a feeling."

I shouldn't fall for it really, but I do.

Every year.

Go on, then.

I can tell you're dying to.

No, it's fine.

Whatever you're feeling.

It's cool.

I blame nan.

She lived for Christmas.

Started soaking her plum pudding

in Brandy in August.

Hmm.

Decorations up

the day after bonfire night.

Felt sorry for me, I think.

Being fostered.

Had to give me twice the

Christmas normal kids got.

I don't know.

Maybe it's in my DNA,

revering the ancestors and all.

Whatever form your family takes,

that's what Christmas

is about, I think.

It's important.

Bit different for you, then?

I woke up one Christmas

morning in a psychiatric ward.

Didn't know where I was.

Doctor standing over me

with a needle...

Of god knows what. Then...

Zoning out again.

How old were you?

Six. Seven.

Tested me for

schizophrenia, bipolar.

That's it, then?

No other Christmas memories?

I remember hearing my dad's

voice on the phone one year.

You know that I'd be there,

if it weren't for...

From the other side

of the world.

Wishing he was in the next room.

But he wasn't.

Look at that.

It's one of the richest

places on the planet.

Someone's down there right now

blowing two grand on

a bottle of wine.

Yeah, and I'll send home

a family of five

with macaroni and tinned fruit

to last them a week.

Go figure.

Doesn't add up.

It's like some

of us are invisible.

No, they know we're here.

Why else puts spikes

on doonnays?

They just want us out of sight.

- I should, um...

- Yeah.

Right.

Well, I have cleaned him up

and I've given him

an injection of antibiotic.

He might be sore for

a day or two,

but other than that

he's in really good Nick.

- Hear that, Bob? High five.

- Mm-hm.

Five.

High five. Thanks a lot.

Come on, then, mister.

Okay, come on, then. On we go.

- Good boy. Thank you very much.

- My pleasure.

It's gonna be a good day today,

Bob. I can feel it.

- Aww.

- All right.

- Ah, it's Bob!

- That is Bob.

- Hi!

James.

James.

James.

- There you are.

- Hi.

Guess what else I found for Bob.

- Oh, Irene, you don't have to.

- No.

Oh. Irene. That's, um...

Who'd like to hear some

Christmas Carols, Bob style?

Yeah!

J bobbing through the snow j

j in a one-cat open sleigh j

j down the streets we go j

j meowing all the way j

j meow, meow, meow j

j bells on Bob's tail ring j

j making spirits bright j

j oh, what fun it is to sing j

j a bobsleigh song tonight j

j jingle Bob, jingle Bob j

j jingle all the way j

j oh, what fun it is to ride j

- j in a one-cat open sleigh j

- There you are, Bob.

J hey, jingle Bob, jingle Bob j

j jingle all the way j

j oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-cat open sleigh j

Thank you.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Hey, Bob. Thanks a lot.

- There you are.

- High five?

- I think he's clever.

- Good boy. That's a good boy.

- Aww!

Excuse me, mate. Sorry, mate.

Are you gonna be here

day after tomorrow?

- I can be, yeah.

- Right.

I've got a big party

of Asian tourists coming in.

They'd love you lot. Good money.

Pose for a few photos,

a few songs. What do you think?

Yeah, that would be amazing.

What time?

- Midday?

- Okay.

Life saver. Good man.

- See you then.

- No worries.

I know. I know.

Might have spent

a little too much.

But it was a great day.

Look at that.

We're almost halfway

there already.

And...

There's more coming.

See this, Bob?

That was you and me

when we were on our own.

And this...

Is us together.

J explains a thing or two j

j like when I'm here I don't

feel like I'm in the room j

j maybe it ain't normal j

j to wanna be

anywhere else soon j

j maybe I ain't as crazy j

j as I think j

j and everybody's twisted j

j in different ways j

All right. Here you are.

J someday I'll learn j

j to love my twists and turns j

j and everything

that makes me j

jwholamj

j I'll be a better man j

Look at the cat.

- Thank you very much.

- That's all right.

Good afternoon.

I'm animal welfare

officer Davies.

This is my colleague, Mr. Booth.

We wanted to chat to you

about a couple of concerns.

- What sort of concerns?

- Ooh, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Just wanna make sure

he's happy, healthy.

Yeah, course he is. Look at him.

- What's his name?

- Uh, Bob.

- Bob. Nice to meet you.

- Bob.

If it's okay, I'd like

to take a look at him,

- maybe take a couple of photos?

- Yep.

Shall I take him

to the Van, yeah?

Leave it, Leon.

- Bob. Bob, no.

- It's okay, Bob.

- Just gotta be slow.

- Hey, that's okay.

Ah, he had an injection

there the other day.

- He might be a bit sore.

- Injection?

Yeah, he had a little scratch.

I don't know what from.

But the vet just wanted

to give him some antibiotics

just to make sure

it didn't get infected.

You got the papennork for that?

Yeah, at home.

I can send it on to you.

Yeah. Here are my details.

- Can I get yours as well?

- Uh, yeah.

Is Bob microchipped?

Uh, yeah, under my name.

James Bowen.

Sorry, I've just

gotta turn this on.

You need to keep that on

in case we need you.

Is there anyone else

we could talk to,

someone that knows you and Bob?

Uh, my friend bea. She works

at a charity on upper street.

I can give you her number.

Hang on.

Is there anything else

I can do, or...?

You could get a haircut.

Ah.

Maybe write a statement.

Uh, how long you've had Bob.

What his life is like.

That sort of thing.

- Just in case.

- In case of what?

Well, might get referred

up to the authorities, see.

Might need a court to decide

whether you're fit enough

to keep him or not.

In case I'm good enough to keep?

Of course I can keep...

You can't take him away from me.

No, no. That's where you're

wrong, sunshine. See, we can.

- Hey. Let's... let's... hey!

- If it's in the cat's

- best interest we can.

- Don't touch me.

- Calm down. Calm down.

- I didn't touch you.

- Both of you calm down, please.

- He's completely fine.

Listen, let's not get ahead

of ourselves. Both of you.

Bea, you gotta help me.

Someone's gonna call you

about Bob. Animal welfare.

I think her name's Ruth.

Bloke she's with

is a total prick.

And, uh, I don't know,

I gave them your number.

I said you could vouch for us.

I don't know if someone targeted

us or if they reported me or...

I don't know. Who'd...

What's the matter?

Why is it always

about you, James?

What's happened?

Look around you.

Break-in last night.

They took everything.

All of our food, telly,

computers, bedding.

Everything they could.

I mean, who the hell

steals from a project

for people who've got nothing?

Can you get more stuff?

With what, James?

Shirt buttons?

We haven't got any money.

Christmas day's not happening.

Bea.bea.

Is there anything else I can do?

Maybe write a statement.

How long you've had Bob.

What his life is like.

That sort of thing.

Lovely. Now, like every chef,

I need to have a little bit

of refreshment.

The chocolate chips will sort of

just evenly

distribute themselves.

Right, Bob. Come on, then, Bob.

Now, let's go.

Good boy. Okay.

Okay, come on, then.

Out we go. This way.

Let's go. This way. Good boy.

All right, mate.

What do you need?

- No, I'm good.

- Come on, I know you.

- You like the good stuff.

- I said no.

When did you turn

into such a prick?

Are you gonna piss off?

Or what?

Bob.

- Hey, get off!

- Give me the bag.

- Give me the bag.

- Get off!

Get off!

Are you okay?

You all right?

Oh.

Come on, mate.

Maybe we can still

do some pics. Come on.

Come in, guys. Sit down.

I've just got an email

asking me to comment on this.

Apparently someone sent it

to the local news station.

Calm down.

I'm working here

with my cat, okay?

Can we not, can we not do this?

Look, this isn't

what it looks like.

It is exactly what it iookshke.

It's exactly

the sort of brainless behavior

that got you transferred here

in the first place.

So, I'm gonna tell you

exactly what happens now.

Ruth, talk to the TV company.

Make a "no comment" comment.

We don't discuss ongoing

inquiries, blah, blah, blah.

- Right.

- And find witnesses.

Anyone who can tell us what

the rspca will need to know,

if we pass it up to them.

- Is...

- Bob.

Is Bob in a safe home?

Separated from other animals?

You know the drill.

Oh, I've had some joy

already there, boss.

Spoke to housing.

Mr. Bowen's in

assisted accommodation.

Keeps it tidy, no other animals.

Is the animal healthy?

I need to check out his story

on taking it to the vet,

but he seemed okay.

Okay. Well, keep talking to

people. And remember the law.

Is Bob free to display,

and I quote,

"normal behavior patterns"?

And as for you, stay out of it.

You might be right on this one,

but I can't afford to be wrong.

I'm not gonna be plastered

all over the papers.

Cruella de muswell hill.

It's not happening.

If a guy who works on

the street is being separated

from his cat at Christmas,

it's got to be done

by the book. Got it?

Yes, boss.

Hello.

Here we are. Is that you, yeah?

Excellent. On you pop.

Nice one. Hello.

Thank you. Hello.

Thank you for a good trip.

There we go. That's you.

In you go. Did you have fun?

- See the sights, yeah?

- So stupid.

See you.

Yes, mate,

that's the one over there.

That's the one over there.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah, all right. Right-o.

There you go.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Idiot.

Stupid.

That's gone as well.

I'll be right back.

Don't let the elephants out.

Hi, moody.

Twenty on the electric, please.

Big freeze coming in

from Greenland.

Ah, great. When?

End of the week, I think.

Best tune in to the radio.

Thanks.

Uh... there you are.

Do you have any tape?

My guitar's bust.

Hmm.

Here. Use mine.

Oh. Thank you.

Bob, no! Ah!

Bob! What have you...

Stinks.

Thank you.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Five-minute warning.

- Calm down.

- I'm working here with my cat.

We are conducting

a routine investigation,

but we 're also appealing

to the public for help.

Anyone who knows the man

and the cat in the video

or the photograph,

please get in touch...

Ma'am, five minutes.

Yes. Sorry, darling. Thank you.

So that we can resolve

where the cat should be.

And they say

there's a cold front

coming in this weekend,

just in time for Christmas.

- Might even get a bit of snow.

- Brilliant.

Could be a white

Christmas this year.

How do we feel about that?

Hey, it's what

we 're dreaming about, right?

You're listening

to the sounds of the season.

Traffic and weather,

together on drive time.

Are you coming, mate?

I'd stay there too if I could.

See you later, monster.

Next batch!

Where shall I put this, Sarah?

Over there?

Just back there.

Sorry. Excuse me. I'm looking

for a miss chan. Bea chan.

- She's just over there.

- Thank you.

It looks pretty full-on.

Yeah, it was hard enough,

but we just got burgled as well.

That's awful. I'm so sorry.

It's gonna be a long winter.

Then I'll be as quick as I can.

So, bea, how long have

you known Mr. Bowen and Bob?

Nine months, maybe ten.

I go round to James's flat

fairly regularly.

I see. Is it true that Bob

was recently seen by a vet here?

Yeah. Dr. Becky.

Bob was injured somehow?

It was just a scratch.

James brought Bob

in first thing.

Becky fixed him right up.

- Do you want her number?

- Yes, please.

Um, so you've known them

almost a year.

Is there anything

in Bob's behavior

that struck you

during that time?

- In what way?

- Well, it's not normal

for a cat to be out

on the streets most days.

Bob was a stray.

That's where he lived till

he teamed up with James.

Uh, I didn't know that.

But some might say

spending his days with James,

it's not exactly

a suitable environment,

not normal behavior.

You know cats. Obviously.

- Lost mine in the summer.

- Hm.

Dexter. He was a real star.

But, so, yes, I'd say so.

Pretty independent creatures.

Not gonna do anything

they don't wanna do.

Oh, definitely not.

So every day before

he leaves home,

James gives Bob the choice,

to stay at home in the warm alone

or go out with him.

And every day,

well, almost every day,

Bob goes with him.

And what about James?

Is he... is his

home life stable?

James is no Saint,

but he's taken big steps.

And Bob's given him

responsibility,

not something he's had before.

Two musketeers.

All for one, one for all.

When James went cold Turkey,

Bob never left him for a minute.

Was he using when he had Bob?

He was on the program.

Methadone.

Bob gave him the strength

to get clean.

If you were to split them up,

it doesn't bare thinking about.

I don't wanna keep you.

You've been a great help.

Thanks.

You're not really thinking

about taking Bob

away from him, are you?

We need to do what's

best for Bob.

It's not only up to me. Sorry.

J cold side of the bed j

j when I wake j

j forgot I was alone j

j forgot I was alone j

j whose eyes see the words j

j I don't say j

Happy Christmas.

Hi. How you doing?

J you're coming back to me j

j you're coming... j

This is ridiculous.

J cold side of the bed j

j when I wake j

j forgot I was alone j

j whose eyes see the words j

j I don't say... j

Oh, come on. I'm thirsty.

My god. I just don't.

I just don't. Hey, mate.

We're off for a wee

Christmas pint.

Want to join us?

Come on, you two.

Peace on earth,

goodwill to men and all that.

Hmph.

Hey, first pint's on me.

Come on, before he defrosts.

- Okay.

- Good man.

- Uh, not great.

- Tell us all about it.

Thanks, Dave.

See you later. Cheers.

Merry Christmas.

Do you think I'd sell more

papers if I had a cat?

- Um, I don't think so.

- Sorry.

- All right.

- Sorry.

Listen, suits are your thing.

Look at you.

Look at the effort

that you put in.

Sorry.

I mean, you could get

a bunny outfit for easter.

- Sorry.

- Love heart for Valentine's.

Uh, Pete, watch you don't melt,

sitting by that fire, eh.

'Cause he's a snowman.

Here, I've got

a good one for you.

What do you call a snowman

who works at a bakery?

- A baker.

- It's funny.

- Hm.

- Wow. Tough crowd.

It's funny. It's funny.

All right, let's hear it.

You got a problem with me?

I don't know. Do I?

You will have

if you don't spit it out.

I know it was you who shopped me

to the animal welfare people.

What?

I saw you the other day

near covent garden tube.

Yeah, you and your mate in

the council Van, pointing at us.

Why are you helping them

spy on me and Bob?

Spying?

On your cat?

Why would I be spying

on your cat?

I don't know. You tell me.

White Van?

James street?

That was Danny.

He had some work for me.

School had frozen pipes.

Wanted me to thaw 'em out.

Picked me up from there.

I didn't know you were there.

Hardly worth it, is it?

Fifteen quid.

So, tell me,

how did you get the cat?

I found him in my flat.

He was a stray.

He wouldn't leave me alone.

Jammy sod.

Won't deny he pulls

in the punters.

I didn't mean that.

I couldn't care what you make.

You're lucky to have him.

Mm-hmm.

When you look after someone,

it gives you purpose,

it gives you meaning.

It makes you a better person.

I've got a little girl.

Maisie.

Not so little any more.

And a junked-up teenager

in a Ford fiesta...

Took me nine months

to walk again, so...

I don't miss much.

Don't miss her mother.

I miss maisie, though.

So... so where is she now?

Maisie?

West London. She's got a kid.

Never met him.

I wonder if he might

look like me, you know.

If he's lucky.

Nah.

She don't need me in her life.

You're inside there...

Somewhere.

That's me done.

See you around.

Lucky to have him.

When you look after someone,

it gives you purpose,

it gives you meaning.

It makes you a better person.

Hey, Bob.

Guess who I've just

been out with?

Mick. Yeah.

Of all people.

Nasty Mick.

Mick the spy.

Except he's not a spy after all.

Bob. Come on, mate.

Must be hungry.

Come and get your dinner.

Bob? Bob.

Bob.

Mate, are you okay?

Bob.

Come on.

Come on,

pull yourself together. Think.

This is Dr. Becky

at the green veterinary centre.

Please leave a message

after the tone.

Dr. Becky,

it's bea's friend, James.

Um, it's Bob, my cat. He's sick.

Really sick.

Call me, please.

- Don't let the elephants...

- You gotta help me.

Is he eating? Drinking?

Nothing.

Let's put a bowl of water

by his head.

And we should keep him warm.

- Did you write these?

- Some.

My friend bea's idea.

Hmm.

Should never have let him

come out in this weather.

Wouldn't have animal welfare

on my case.

Animal welfare?

They're threatening

to take Bob away.

Maybe they should.

I don't know how

you did it with mo.

Just sitting there, waiting.

Well, from the outside

it looks very different.

You just deal with it.

It becomes your reality.

How do you go on?

There were three pilgrims

on a journey to a holy place.

Each had suffered great sadness.

Each was looking for peace,

a way ahead.

Each had two sacks,

one on his back, the other

round the neck at his front.

The first man

filled the sack on his back

with all the good things

in his life.

Like your tree.

Happy thoughts, memories.

Okay.

At the front,

he kept all the bad things.

His sadness, guilt.

Bad memories.

Because he... he wanted to think

about them. Make sense of them.

Even though there was

none to be made.

Because of this,

he didn't make much progress.

He soon gave up the journey.

I had a feeling he would.

Now, the second man.

He carried

the good things at the front.

He liked to show them off.

He kept the bad things

on his back,

eventhough they weighed heavily.

His journey was slow as well.

He too gave up.

The third one got it right,

I'm betting.

He also carried the

good things at the front,

but to him they

were an inspiration.

Like, uh,

sails on a ship,

moving him faster.

And he didn't carry

anything on his back?

Yes, he did.

But he cut a hole in that sack,

so all the bad things

slowly dropped onto the road.

Hmm.

- And he reached the holy place?

- And found a new way toward.

So which one was you?

I have been all three.

But now I just carry

my good memories of mo

and let them inspire me.

And the bad?

Mm. That took a while.

But now I understand...

The greatest act of love

I showed mo

was in letting him go.

To a better place.

So, the memories...

The beeping of that machine,

the tubes, the wires,

The signing of those forms,

I was free to let them go too.

You must not let your future

be weighed down by your past.

You will get to where

you need to go.

But what about him?

Maybe he will be

a part of that journey.

But if not,

you have already proved

your love a hundred times over.

I had better go.

It's already Christmas Eve.

Busy day ahead.

Let me know if there's

anything I can do. Hmm?

Bob.

Bob.

Bob.

Bob!

He'll be in here... Somewhere.

Always.

The greatest act of love

I showed mo...

Was in letting him go.

Now, who's a good boy?

Good boy, Bob.

Bob.

It's a stomach thing, probably.

It's not unusual for cats.

Has he eaten anything he

shouldn't in the past 48 hours?

Yeah. Um...

Some chicken.

Some old food from the fridge.

- It had all gone off.

- Did he vomit?

Yeah, lots.

That's good.

That's nature taking its course.

And the rest will have

just worked its way

through his system.

He'll be all right now.

He doesn't deserve

to live like this.

Freezing all the time.

Getting sick.

It's not good enough.

What are you

talking about, James?

What happens when a cat

gets taken in by animal welfare?

Do they have those

smart cat kennels,

like, they're well looked after?

Isuppose.

What are you babbling on about?

You've had a shock,

but Bob's fine.

Yeah, she's right.

Take time together at Christmas

and Bob will be

his old self again.

You'll soon be back

into the old routine.

Yeah, well,

that's the problem, isn't it?

Hi. This is James.

Well, James' phone.

Please leave a message

after the beep.

I don't want to hear any more.

I think the cat

should be separated.

You reached the voicemail for

Ruth Davies, animal welfare.

Please leave a message

and I'll get back to you.

Hi, Ruth. This is James Bowen.

I've come

to a decision about Bob

and I need to talk to you.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

What about him?

You must not let your future

be weighed down by your past.

You have already proved your

love a hundred times over.

Come on, then, mate.

Good boy, Bob.

Come on, then, mate.

That's the guy.

Platform one,

down the stairs to the right.

- Great. Thank you.

- No worries.

James, I haven't

seen you in days.

I just came to wish you

a happy Christmas.

Aww, thank you so much.

Oh. Hold on there, now.

I have some stuff for you too.

People came by,

dropping these off.

- It's all for us?

- Mm-hm.

Wow. Thank you.

- Come on, Bob.

- Happy Christmas.

James!

James.

Where have you two been hiding?

I've been looking all over.

- I got you a card.

- Ah.

How sweet of you.

Not surprised you've

been lying low,

with all that council

nonsense as well.

Council nonsense?

Here.

Oh! Thank you.

- Aren't you going to open it?

- Yeah.

Oh, Irene, that's too kind.

Look, Bob. Bob, look.

Your own bed.

I don't know what to say.

I feel awful. This is, um...

You really have no idea, do you?

- See?

- There he is.

- Merry Christmas, James.

- Thank you.

- It's all right.

- It's really kind of you.

Merry Christmas, James.

- Here you are.

- Thank you.

Merry Christmas, James.

Merry Christmas, Bob and James.

Merry Christmas, my love.

Merry Christmas.

Where have you all come from?

Thank you.

Wow. Thank you.

- Happy Christmas.

- Thank you so much.

- I don't know what to say.

- Happy Christmas, James.

All right, mate.

Got a little surprise for you.

This is for Bob.

And that is panda from China.

Thank you so much.

Look, Bob. Look.

Doesn't he look lovely?

What you do think? You like it?

- It's very kind of you.

- Right, follow me.

Thank you.

James.

Mick.

This is my daughter, maisie,

and this is my grandson, Michael.

Wow. Michael, look at you.

That thing you said to me in the pub,

you know, made me think, and, uh...

Here we are.

Thanks.

Over my dead body.

- Let me handle this.

- Fine.

If you could all

just give me a moment,

just to speak to James.

- Can you keep hold of Bob?

- Yes. Yes, of course.

You'll be all right, Bob.

You really should

switch your phone on.

Might have avoided all this.

It's been a difficult few days.

For all of us.

Anyhow, we've been speaking

to people, evaluating your case.

So have I, and, um...

- I think I've decided that...

- Wait.

Do you know what these are?

Letters, notes, cards, emails...

"I'd just lost my husband

of 40 years.

The curtains were still drawn

from the funeral.

But when James let me

spend a few minutes with Bob,

it gave me a reason

to draw back the curtains.

You could say they've let

the light back into my life."

There's an online petition too.

800 signatures in less

than 24 hours.

What? Who...

Uh, under the name moodymo12?

That's, that's all amazing,

but, um...

I know you'll look after him,

and, um,

I know it's for the best.

James. No.

You don't understand.

You belong together.

We're not looking after him.

You are.

I... I don't know what to say.

There's something else.

A charity,

inspirational animals.

Uh, they work

with therapy animals.

They visit people in hospitals.

They want you and Bob

to be paid ambassadors.

What?

Really?

What?

- Really?

- Yeah.

Might come in handy

when Bob visits the hospitals.

Thank you.

Think you're so bloody clever,

don't you?

Oh. I've got...

For all you've done.

James. Did I miss anything?

I get to keep him.

You get to keep him.

J mother and child j

j holy infant so j

j tender and mild j

j sleep in heavenly j

j peace j

j sleep in heavenly peace j

See? I told you.

The butter maker.

You reap what you sow.

- Except you left out a bit.

- Did I?

Sometimes you don't even know

you've got seeds to sow.

Well, we all have those.

Like the miserly king, who...

Moody.

Thank you, Charles.

Look. Look, look.

Oh, my lord. It's Arabella.

It's the cook from

the television.

She's only second cousin

to the flipping queen.

Well, quite the fan club.

Mr. Bowen, I couldn't

let Christmas pass

without repaying your kindness.

And if there's anything

I can ever do

for you and Bob, any time...

Thank you.

Hey.

- Merry Christmas.

- Happy Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Look, Bob. Snow.

Happy Christmas.

Bob. Try a bit of this.

- Good boy.

- See you soon. Yeah, bye.

He's almost back.

Yeah? Hey.

- Something smells good.

- Ben.

- How did it go? Yeah?

- Amazing.

Could have sold 'em all,

but I kept one back for you.

Wow. Look at that.

Best-selling issue of the year.

I've gotta show him.

There he is.

- Look at this, mate.

- Hi, Ben.

- How you doing?

- Look. Cover star.

Hey, look. What do you think?

Look, Bob? Do you like it?

I'm gonna put it up here, okay?

Pride of place on

the mantelpiece.

- Right, drinks. Drinks.

- Drinks.

- Cheers, guys.

- Cheers.

- To Christmas.

- Oh! Quick. It's starting.

This year, once again,

we are spending Christmas day

at the splendid

upper street project.

A charity which strives

to spread some seasonal cheer

to those who may be struggling

to make ends meet.

Hm. She's an angel.

So, what do we have

for you today?

After the savory,

always some sweet.

Now, let's see if

these are ready.

Ah. Perfect. Golden brown.

Now, these treats would grace

any Christmas table.

Especially these,

which I've made in honor of

a very special friend of mine,

without whom I may

never have known

of this quite remarkable place.

Bob, look. You're on TV.

Happy Christmas, Bob.

Now, Turkey...

He's been eating all morning.

He's had a couple

of pigs in blankets, hasn't he?

He doesn't seem

to be too interested.

Thank you.

Me and Bob were thinking

we might play charades later.

- What do you think?

- Yeah.

We should start thinking

of some.

I don't know how

I can ever thank you.

You don't need to thank me.

I've started work

on the new book.

If I hadn't met you,

I'd never have thought of it.

- Thought of what?

- What to write.

Actually, I've got

a little gift for you.

Happy Christmas.

Ah, mate.

Ah, this is so cool.

It's from me and Bob.

- Thank you.

- It's all right.

I didn't know what to get you,

and then I remembered

your nan's tree

and the messages about Christmas

and the feeling it gave

you and...

The little book of Bob.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah, it is.

What have you got in here?

Yeah.