Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

A Christmas Wedding Tail (2011)

Christmas & New Years movies collection.
Watch on Amazon   XM Merch   Collectables

Christmas & New Years movies collection.

A Christmas Wedding Tail (2011)

Post by bunniefuu »

Isn't Christmas beautiful?

The decorations, the ornaments

and my favorite--

gingerbread! Yum!

My name's Rusty.

And I hope you're in the mood

for a good old-fashioned Christmas tail,

'cause I've got one.

This wasn't just any Christmas.

Yep, that's me-- Rusty Campbell.

No, that-- that's not me.

Over-- move over-- yeah, that's me.

Look at you, Mr. Handsome.

And that beautiful

babe next to me-- that's Cheri.

Watch it, buster.

What?

I'm telling the story here.

Seriously, folks, isn't she the most

beautiful bride you've ever seen?

Your owner's not so bad either.

Do you, Jake, take Susan

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to have and to hold,

in sickness and in health,

for as long as you both

shall live?

Oops, getting ahead of ourselves here.

If you want to hear

this Christmas wedding tail,

we've got to go all the way back

to the beginning.

? It's Christmas time of year ?

? Everybody swing ?

? Yeah, it's Christmas time

of year again ?

? And the trimming's

on the tree ?

? 'Cause everybody here

loves Christmas ?

? Here we go, let it snow,

h* h* h* ?

? Well, it's Christmas time of year ?

? With the presents

under the tree ?

? Yeah, it's Christmas time

of year again ?

? There's a stocking there for me ?

? Does everybody here

love Christmas? ?

? Yeah, here we go, let it snow,

h* h* h* ?

? Here we go, here we go,

h* h* h* ?

? Here we go, here we go,

h* h* h* ?

? Here we go, here we go,

h* h* h*. ?

It was early October

and Susan had taken me

to the dog park

for some quality bonding time.

Little did I know

my life was about to change forever.

There's got to be something

available, Pat.

There's got to be something

available, Pat.

No, Susan, listen,

you've got to be patient, okay?

There's got to be something.

You hear that?

That's not sleigh bells.

That's the sound of crickets.

Towards the end of the year,

none of the major museums are hiring.

None of them?

Relax. Don't get your bloomers

in a bunch, okay?

A curator with your qualifications

is gonna get offers.

It's just gonna take some time.

Well, I hope so.

Maybe something back East,

let me get out of California

altogether.

Don't worry, you will.

But in the meantime, do me a favor.

You know how those small towns are--

they suck you in.

And next thing you know you're running

a little coffee shop or something..

Don't worry.

I'm a city girl.

The small town is not for me.

That's when I saw her,

her tail floated through the air

like a cloud.

I just love a woman

with a sense of style.

-- Rusty!

Is everything okay up there, Susan?

Rusty, Rusty.

You go get 'em, Sue.

You go get 'em. All right, all right.

Pat here.

How can I be of service?

You need a job, huh? Well,

you came to the right place, buddy.

I'm going into a tunnel. Oh my gosh.

Oh look, I'm losing you.

Don't touch my fish.

They're poisonous.

- Hey there.

- This is an A and B conversation,

so why don't you C your way

out of it?

My name is Rusty.

I'm Not Interested.

At least tell me your name.

If you don't tell me,

I'm going to have to guess.

Foo-Foo? Pookie? Tawana?

Not even close.

Rusty, got you.

Cheri, I leave you for a minute, and

already you've made some friends here.

Cheri. I loved

the way it rolled off the tongue--

or the way it would have rolled off

the tongue if I could actually speak.

It was love at first sniff.

Everything okay?

Lana, what are you up to?

Oh, it's okay. I think they just

got away from us for a second.

- It's good to see you, Jake.

- Thank you, Reverend. How are you?

- I'm great. Thank you for asking.

- Good.

Listen, I've got to run.

Hey, Susan, do me a favor.

- Will you tell your mom I said hi?

- I will.

See you guys later.

Come on, let's go, Lana. Come on.

Hi.

Rusty, you cannot run away

from Mommy like that.

You about gave me a heart attack.

Okay, easy with the Mommy stuff.

I'm with a lady here.

Oh, it's okay.

They've got great security here.

It's really not a problem.

Besides, it looks like

they like each other.

"Like" is a strong word.

- Yeah.

- This is my Cheri.

Yes, I said Cheri.

And my name is Jake.

Cheri. Wow.

I'm Susan and this is Rusty.

Hey Rusty. How are you, buddy?

Well, it's nice to meet you guys.

I haven't seen you around though.

Are you new?

Yeah, we just moved up

from LA.

Oh, a city dog, huh?

I should have known.

Really? That's a big change.

Why the move?

Um, lots of reasons.

Mostly my mom has an antique store

over in Los Olives.

Gussied Up--

maybe you've heard of it.

- I have.

- Yeah, I'm just helping her out.

Well, I hope your mom's

working you hard.

Oh yeah, she's a sl*ve driver.

In fact, I'd better get going.

- Okay, sounds good.

- Okay.

Nice meeting you. Okay.

Come on, honey.

Hey, you know, if you want

to actually do something fun,

I work at a winery.

Bridle wood-- maybe you've heard of it.

No, I haven't.

If you would like,

I could give you a personal tour.

Maybe Friday at 5:00, 1:30 or 2:30...

...or 4:45-- whatever works for you?

As I sat there

watching for what felt like an eternity,

all I could think about was,

"The next words out of her mouth

could define my romantic destiny."

Oh, you can be so dramatic.

Sounds like a plan.

Sounds good.

Nice meeting you.

All right.

It's been a pleasure

meeting you, madam.

Oh, believe me,

the pleasure was all yours.

Bye.

Come on, Cheri.

I love it

when a plan comes together.

That night I could barely sleep.

She was all I could think about--

her gorgeous hair,

the way her hindquarters shook

when she walked.

Hey, there might be

kids watching this.

It turns out I wasn't

the only one bitten by the love bug.

You met someone?

What's his name?

Does he have a job?

Mom, it's no big deal.

We met at the dog park.

Hey!

Dude.

- Hey man.

- You just about gave me a heart attack.

Sorry.

I was just cleaning this.

So did you get

this whole thing cleaned?

I cleaned it.

It's clean.

- Hey.

- What?

- I meta girl.

- What?

Yes, at the dog park.

She's beautiful.

She's even got a little dog

that can hang out with my little Cheri.

- Here's the kicker.

- What?

She's not from around here,

just moved into the area.

And I told her I worked at a winery.

I invited her over for a little tour.

He offered to show me around

the winery where he works.

The winery? He works at--

does he own the winery?

You told her you work at a winery?

You should say, "I own a winery."

- That's what I say.

- I don't know.

Details.

I guess I figured

new town-- new start.

Maybe it's time to get back

on the horse.

Did you say anything

about the kids?

Well, no. It was this fast. It was

like, "Hey, our dogs like each other.

You want to come to the winery?"

It was that fast.

I didn't get a chance

to talk about the kids.

Are you crazy?

You didn't say anything about the kids?

A single mother

of three boys--

some men might find that

intimidating.

Wait wait wait,

don't you watch "Oprah"?

Sensitive guys are in, dude.

Says the guy who thought

"The Notebook" was a comedy.

Look, you don't know anything about him.

Just don't get hurt.

I won't let myself get hurt, Mom.

Okay, I have to go pick up the boys.

What time do we open anyway?

Two hours ago.

Okay, Rusty, let's go.

Come on, let's go get your boys.

Wait a second. So you don't

actually work at a vineyard?

You own this vineyard?

I actually inherited it

when my folks passed away.

it's beautiful.

It is beautiful.

I've actually had a lot of offers

from people to buy this place,

but I can't imagine

anyone else managing it.

And half the people that work here

have been here since before I was born.

Whoa. Watch your step.

- Here, hold on to my arm.

- Thank you.

What about you?

What was your business back in LA?

I was a curator

at the California Museum of Art.

- Really?

- Yes.

Wow. What happened?

Budget cuts.

My department got consolidated.

So here I am.

Ouch.

Where are all the grapes?

The grapes have already

been harvested.

They've been barreled.

They're fermenting.

And we'll bottle them

by Christmas.

Oh, Christmas.

I love Christmas.

Yeah, me too.

It's the time of year I can remember

my whole family being together.

Mm.

Yeah.

- Are you hungry?

- Yeah, I'm starving.

That's good, 'cause I had the chef

make something special for us.

- Shall we?

- We shall.

Let's do it. All right.

- There it is.

- There you go.

Oh, that smells delicious.

Sir.

Okay.

Wow, thanks, Frank.

It's a special mixture

of black truffles, sausage

and oyster stuffing

in one stunning chicken.

Okay.

Or I'll be right back.

- That's Frank.

- Yeah, he's a keeper.

He's my boy. He's my boy.

Speaking of chicken,

did you know

that the longest recorded flight

of a chicken was 13 seconds?

No, I did not know that.

I am an encyclopedia

of useless information.

Well, if you're speaking of poultry, did

you know that Donald Duck's middle name

was Fauntleroy?

- Fascinating.

How about this one?

Cookie Monster's first name--

Sid.

Sorry. Yeah, food.

That was very impressive.

Wow. Well, I guess we know

our children's programs here.

Apparently.

- Hey, I actually wanted to talk--

- You know, there's something

I wanted to tell you.

Sorry, you go ahead.

Go ahead.

No, I insist.

- I have three boys.

- I have two children.

What?

Really?

I can't believe

you just said that.

You don't know how worried

I was to tell you that.

No, I was worried that you were--

not that you were gonna say,

but I was" I didn't want

to say it too. I'm--

Can I show you pictures?

Yes, please.

This is so great.

I had no idea.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Why would you lie?

- I know.

- Oh.

- That's my youngest.

That's Emma.

She's seven.

Oh, I bet she loves

ponies and Barbies and--

More like spiders and frogs

and snakes.

You know, anything that slithers

or spits venom-- she's probably got it.

Still, she's adorable.

She's a cutie.

And this is my oldest,

just turned 11,

loves anything

with a ball or a puck.

Oh, he's so handsome.

What's his name?

Her name is Madison.

It's a girl?

She wanted to join

the rugby team.

I had to draw the line somewhere.

I hope I'm not scaring you right now.

No no, not at all.

In fact, here you go.

The one on the left is Logan.

He is going to be the first

nine-year-old

with his own

four-star restaurant.

- That's amazing.

- Well, maybe he can help me out

'cause I can barely boil

a pot of water.

The one in the middle is Josh.

He is gonna be the next

Mark Zuckerberg.

Is he really?

I don't know where he finds

the time to study though.

He's always tinkering around

on his computer.

And who's this little guy

on the end?

Oh, that's my Ryan.

He's too young.

He doesn't know what he wants to be.

He's a snappy dresser.

Yeah, that's a new phase.

He actually hasn't said much

since his dad passed away.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, the psychologists say

he will talk when he's ready.

Well, after my wife passed

I had a really hard time

wanting to talk to anyone about it,

so I get what he's going through.

It's a lot of emotion and pain

to deal with.

Yeah, so much, you don't

really know what to do with it.

Exactly.

It's so hard.

I can only imagine

how hard it must have been

for the boys.

Well, they're lucky to have a mom

like you to help them through it.

Yeah.

Well, that was

kind of amazing.

That was great.

It was really fun.

We should do it again.

Okay.

Wow, you have frogs here.

Yeah.

- Till the next time then.

- Okay.

What can I say?

My little Rusty was

an excellent matchmaker.

Why don't you tell them

what happened next?

Once things

got rolling between them,

things moved pretty fast.

And Jake and Susan grew

closer and closer.

Finally it was time

for the kids to meet.

They seemed to have

a great time, didn't they?

You're going down, sister.

You wish.

No one beats Madison.

Hike the ball already.

Come on.

Hike.

Oh yeah, it was classic.

Yes! Oh!

- Yes yes yes!

Nice job. Let's go back.

Fire g*ns. g*ns ablaze.

g*ns ablaze. g*ns ablaze.

- Loser.

- Daddy!

Everyone started

spending time together.

? Angel rubbed her eyes ?

? She turned away ?

? She thought that her mind

had gone astray ?

? But the little man

gently touched her ?

? Said, "Girl,

I'm on your side..." ?

- I'm supposed to put all this in here?

- Yeah.

- All of it?

- All of it.

Yeah, that's good.

That's a whisk.

- Do I mix it up here like this?

- No no. Okay.

This is important.

I have to be able to impress Susan.

- No, you should--

- I don't know anything about cooking.

Okay, thank you.

- Bend down a little bit.

- Press "on"?

- Press the "on."

- Uh-huh. Okay.

That's not funny.

That is not funny.

And everyone was having

the most amazing time.

? There he goes, Whoo! ?

Best of all, I got to spend more time

with my beloved Cheri.

Those were good days.

Yes, they certainly were.

And before you knew it,

the Christmas season was here.

? Deck the halls

with boughs of holly ?

? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia

Ia Ia Ia Ia ?

? 'Tis the season

to be jolly ?

? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia

Ia Ia Ia Ia ?

? Don we now

our g*y apparel ?

? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia Ia

Ia Ia Ia ?

? Troll the ancient

Yuletide carol... ?

Jake decided

to invite us all over

for Thanksgiving dinner.

- I didn't take it though.

- Yes, you did.

You guys, slow down by the pool.

I don't want anyone--

oh gosh, don't get hurt, please.

Oh, this is so beautiful.

I don't need anyone

getting hurt before the meal.

- I know. Thank you so much.

- I didn't take it.

Give it back.

Hey, it took all day

to make that oyster stuffing.

Oh!

- My computer.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh boy.

What is going on over there?

I told you not to take Bridget

out of the cage.

Wait, who's Bridget?

Bridget's the mouse.

There's a mouse? Where?

- Over there.

- Bridget!

- Where?

- Oh, here it comes. Here it comes.

it's coming over here. Oh!

I would like to show my thanks

to this young chef right here

for making these peanut butter

and jelly sandwiches.

Logan, Well, you know, we would be

eating oyster stuffing right now

- if you didn't bump me over.

- Guys, guys.

- All right, guys.

- How about something--

what is something you might be

grateful for, young man?

Okay, we haven't heard anything

out of that side of the peanut gallery.

- Oh, Dad.

- Yes, ma'am.

- I'm thankful for sports.

- Lovely.

Oh, cooking.

Collecting bugs.

Collecting bugs" lovely.

What about you?

I'm thankful for computers.

I'm thankful

for computers too.

- I'm thankful for bacon bits.

- Oh yeah, those are nice.

And what about you, Mama?

I'm thankful that my daughter has been

looking a little happier lately.

Aww. Thanks, Mom.

I am.

I am very thankful as well.

In fact, I'm so thankful for

how this group

has come together so lovingly,

I have something very special

that I would like to ask

your mother.

Susan, can you stand up

for a second?

I think he's gonna do it.

Do what?

What are you doing?

Susan Davis,

you have made me happier

than I have been

in a really long time.

I think my daughters

can attest to that.

And I don't want to stop feeling

that way for the rest of my life.

Susan Davis, will you make me

the happiest man on earth

and marry me?

Yes, I will.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Well, Cheri,

looks like you're stuck with me.

Come here, big guy.

Ryan.

- I'll be right back.

- Yeah, it's okay.

Hey, buddy.

What are you doing over here?

Hey, look at me.

I know that you're sad,

but nobody could ever

replace your dad.

Jake-- he cares very much

about you

and your brothers.

What are they even talking about?

I have no idea.

And you dad will always be

very special to me.

But just think about it--

wouldn't having a man around the house

be kind of cool,

like maybe some sisters

running around?

Look, everything's gonna be okay,

'cause you know what?

Us getting married

is not about just us.

It's about having a family.

I promise

everything's gonna be okay.

You'll see.

Okay?

Let's go eat.

Hey.

Well, you think the little man's

gonna be okay?

Yeah. I know he's gonna love you.

He just needs time.

You know, we don't have to have

a huge wedding.

No, I think we should.

I think it would be good for them.

- Okay.

- Do you have a date in mind?

Yeah.

I was thinking Christmas.

You're kidding.

No.

You said it always

reminded you of family.

Hmm?

I can't think of a better way

of celebrating

the two families

coming together.

Besides, the kids will be off of school.

Everyone's gonna be in town.

It'll be perfect.

Hmm?

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Oh no.

Yeah, they'll be great together.

Of course

with less than a month to go,

things were bound

to get interesting.

Are you-- are you crazy?

- What is the big deal?

- We're not getting any younger, come on.

Well, are you sure

you're ready for this?

Of course I'm ready for this.

She's sweet. She's smart.

She's super motivated.

He's considerate and caring,

charming, funny.

Well, I think the kids needs

a male figure in the house, you know.

She's gonna be a great influence

on the girls.

- It'll be perfect.

What did the kids say about it?

I mean, Ryan didn't seem too happy.

How are the girls taking it?

'Cause I'm not taking it very well.

Well, it's not gonna happen

overnight, that's for sure.

Do you know what? I think in the long

run it will be the best thing for them.

Well, what about me?

What about what I want?

When you said you were gonna get

back on the horse, I didn't expect you

-to jump into the Kentucky Derby.

- Mom.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

You just did the whole marriage thing

and now you're on

the Sea of Tranquility.

And there are tons of fish

in that sea.

And you are talking

about settling down

when you should be getting down, man.

I mean, what's the big rush?

Look, we could spend eight months

planning this thing out...

Or we could just not dwell on it

and just get married.

Do you watch television?

Do you know what a bridezilla is?

I do not.

All they want is perfect.

Please educate me.

They want perfect flowers

and a perfect dress

and perfect perfectness--

perfect perfect.

You know what?

Perfect perfect-- we're not 25.

We don't need

some ridiculous wedding.

We've been through this already before,

both of us have.

We don't need that.

We just want something simple...

And no nonsense...

- Intimate...

- Little wedding.

At least let me handle the music.

That's good.

We're so good, dude.

We have our own Facebook page...

- Frank.

- ...My space page.

We're huge in Germany.

No.

Come on, man.

We just played the Renaissance Faire.

And all the knights in the crowd

were like,

"Arrrgh, thou art fine minstrels."

But they didn't sound like pirates

when they did it.

No.

I'll give you a massage.

This is a no.

- But I love you.

- I love you too.

This is tough love. No.

As long as you're happy,

I will support you.

- Thanks, Mom.

- I'm scared, but I'll support you.

Come on.

Don't forget, if it wasn't for me,

none of this would have happened.

I may have the mental capacity

of your average

two-year-old human,

but I couldn't help but notice

that the girls weren't exactly thrilled

with the idea that their father

was getting hitched to this woman.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- May I help you?

- Yes. I'm getting married.

Congratulations.

And my goodness, what beautiful--

- oh honey, honey.

- Swing swing.

May I say what beautiful daughters

you have?

They are lovely.

Well, you are gonna make

a beautiful bride.

I mean, my goodness,

you have lovely bone structure.

And we can find something to accentuate

your gorgeous blonde hair.

Let's try something on.

Okay.

You look splendid.

- I think it's a little long.

- No, it's perfect.

You put some heels on--

just right.

Yeah. Oh.

- I think it's a little too long.

- Yeah.

Well, what do you think?

You look like Tarzan's wife.

This is one of my

most popular designers.

She still looks like Tarzan's wife.

Oh.

Okay, this is

a brand-new one. It just came in today.

Now it's floor-length,

which is a must, I think.

It's got a corseted bodice

which shows off your figure perfectly.

It's got full support

and a neckline

that is gonna make

that groom's heart flutter.

- I think it's a little too sparkly.

- I like it. It's pretty cool.

Speaking of flutter,

is this in dollars?

Honey, you can't put a price tag

on the most important day of your life.

Yeah, but this is

a down payment...

- it's okay.

- ...on a house.

We don't need to go to college.

Do you have something

on sale maybe?

I do have some stuff

in the back.

You're welcome to fish through.

Follow me.

She shoots.

She scores.

Hey puppy. Hi.

Did you miss me?

Oh, you are a good boy.

- Hello.

- Hi sweetie.

I made Santa sugar cookies--

your favorite.

Oh yeah, those were my favorite

when I was, like, 10.

Oh, then I supposed it was Santa and

his elves who ate them all last year?

Okay, maybe I had a couple.

- How did it go at the dress shop?

- It was interesting.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay, that's an understatement.

And the girls?

I think the girls are about as excited

about the wedding as the boys are.

Did you really expect otherwise?

It's a big change for them.

You can't expect them

to fall in love with you overnight.

I know.

They just want to feel

safe and secure.

They want to know

they can count on you.

Well, they can.

I know, but they need

to learn that.

Right now they're just probably

feeling totally invisible,

like they don't have a say.

They want to be appreciated

and encouraged, you know?

I mean, everyone works

at their own pace.

So just give it time, sweetie.

- I'm gonna get that.

- Okay.

- I'm just gonna--

- I guess you don't like them any more.

- Huh-uh.

- I'll do crudites, you know, tonight.

Hello?

So how are things

out in the boondocks?

Fine.

Yeah? Well, I've been in the office

all day, busting my hump for you.

And I got you an opportunity

that I think is gonna make you flip.

Oh?

Chief Curator of the New York Museum

of Contemporary Art.

You got nothing!

Take that.

MOCA?

That's right.

Isn't that crazy?

- That's unbelievable.

- Yeah, it's wild, isn't it?

The last curator took a similar position

at the Louvre.

Take that.

And here's

the luckiest part of all:

They're gonna be in Los Angeles

tomorrow conducting interviews.

Wait, tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Isn't that crazy?

I was able to call in some favors

and pull a few strings

and I got you a prime 11:30 slot.

Am I good or what?

I'll be there.

So seriously, I'm asking,

am I good or what? Just say it.

Um...

Okay, I am personally

sending you an email...

with all the details. Done.

Okay, thanks.

Wow.

Here we go. Come on,

she's kicking your butt, tubby.

Come on.

Embarrassing. Embarrassing.

MOCA?

Oh my--

Oh, come on, people.

Hello.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Where are you?

I'm running some errands.

What's up?

Well, I was just calling

to remind you

about the coordinators

this afternoon.

That was today?

Okay, what time?

3:00, my office.

You know what?

I might be a few minutes late.

I have to go pick up the kids.

Okay. Sounds good.

I'll see you then, honey.

Bye.

I'm actually very traditional.

I was thinking

white folding chairs

and, um--

and some white--

um...

I'm highly allergic to dogs

and I keep sneezing

and it makes me very sick.

Yeah, well, I'm allergic

to your perfume.

Now I'm gonna make your wedding

fabulicious.

Now I was thinking

for decorations,

it should be leopard.

Rrow!

We would have horse-drawn carriages

and runners down the aisle.

You know what?

Let's lose the horses.

I think that sounds a little much.

Rusty might get jealous.

Yeah, my cousin

has this great restaurant.

The meatballs there

are to die for, literally.

Be quiet for me

one minute, please.

I just want to feel the energy

of your dogs.

Awkward.

My energy is creeped out.

We'll have a wedding scene

look like Santa's workshop.

Oh h* h* h*!

Well, it's on Christmas, isn't it?

Yeah-- no.

Yeah, he's going with it.

h* h* h* h* h*!

Oh, at the wedding we can tell you

how to do everything.

We can do "Drop It Like it's Hot."

And then we could do booty shake,

booty shake, booty shake.

Brownies--

brownies for all of your guests.

I'm liking this vibe.

I really like that.

And what's nice about hay bales

is they also double as a toothpick.

'Cause you get that meat stuck in

there. You just need a little toothpick.

You get it out of a hay bale

and you just do-- it's perfect.

Little elves

dancing around the tables.

Your poodle can stay

because it's hypoallergenic.

Of course I am.

But the other dog has to go.

Do I need to state the obvious?

No, I don't think so.

Your dogs" they're telling me

that they love granola.

Running man, running man,

running man, running man.

She can do a running man

while she's coming down the aisle.

- Like that?

- That's awesome.

Everybody has a hootenanny

good time.

They come on in.

They leave. They're married.

Well, maybe they don't last long,

but it doesn't matter.

The wedding

was the most fun part of it.

See, this is great. We're learning

about each other right now as well.

Now if you need a preacher,

I can be your preacher.

I got a Bible for it.

Yeah, hello.

Wow.

If you need a pastor--

h* h* h*--

Santa Claus is licensed

to do weddings.

So I'm detecting a real--

real Christmas theme here

to the wedding.

You guys need extra security?

'Cause I know a couple guys.

- Really? Really?

- That's good. No, that's good.

- Well, you know.

- Really?

I will not come to the wedding

if that dog is there.

Okay.

Lady, I won't come to the wedding

if you're there.

The way we see it,

the bride should be married like a queen

and treated like a queen--

with the exception, of course,

of a subsequent beheading.

Thank you.

Lots and lots of doves

flying overhead

during your vows.

Can you train these doves

not to poop?

No worries.

Yeah.

Aside from the hippies and the yogis,

I would say that went pretty well.

Personally I'd go

with the Santa Claus guy,

because that way there'd be

presents at your wedding.

I know someone at the dog park-- Pepe.

He could probably be an officiant

at your wedding, but I'd have to see

if his papers are in order.

Well, this is where we live.

Hey. Are you too busy

to give your mom a kiss?

How was school?

Fine. I'm learning how to make

Emeril's fish soup.

I need to get

the spice portions correct.

Mm-hmm.

- Can I make it for dinner tonight?

- You know, you have homework.

- But Mom.

- Sorry, it's a school night

and you need to get ready for bed

so we have time for your

multiplication before, okay?

You left early this morning.

Oh yeah. I had some errands to run

before it got too late.

How were the coordinators?

You know, I think we're gonna end up

doing it ourselves.

Well, it's your wedding.

I saw your letter

about the rent.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Of course I'm gonna worry

about it, Mom.

You said things were bad, but you

didn't say they were this severe.

Things have been a little hard

since your father died,

but I'll be fine.

Do not worry about it, okay?

Okay.

Where's Ryan?

He's over there.

I caught him looking through

Paul's things earlier today.

You go on upstairs and rest.

I'll make dinner.

Okay.

Hey, buddy.

You all right?

How was it today?

Did you play soccer at lunch?

-- Where are you guys going?

- I don't have it.

- Josh.

So while the idea

of a Christmas wedding day

might have sounded

fun and special,

they were about to learn it presented

one teensy little problem.

I heard back from

the Congregational Church,

the Baptist Church

and the Presbyterians.

They're all busy with their Christmas

services and the restaurants are closed.

- Something's got to be open.

- Yeah, there is--

Chang's House

of Dim Sum and Donuts.

- Oh, I love their shrimp toast.

- I love their crullers.

So this is our only option?

Yeah, and for $150

it'd better be a good one.

Ay-yi-yi.

- No no no no no no.

No no no. No dogs allowed.

Oh, we have an appointment.

Jake Campbell and Susan Davis.

- We had an appointment with Howard?

- Hank.

Hillary Spaulding.

And no animals are allowed

on the premises.

No dogs? Ouch.

Oh.

I assure you

they'll be well-behaved.

Clearly this lady does not know us.

- Yes, I know.

- That's what they all say.

But I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "I can leave

a nice little present on the fairway."

Yeah, too late.

And won't the greens keeper

just love that?

We were actually hoping that the dogs

could participate in the ceremony.

Yes. See,

they're the reason we met.

So no dogs" no ceremony.

No $150 a plate.

Well, then welcome

to the Los Olives Country Club.

Pleasure.

If it's a nice, quiet, romantic ceremony

that you're looking for,

I believe you've come

to the right place.

But let me show you

some options.

I'll get another golf cart over there.

After you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

And if you lift a leg, you're done.

I think this lady needs a few days

in obedience school.

I really think you're gonna love

the facilities, yes.

The banquet facilities

are world class.

Our chef is world-renowned.

And you're gonna love the catering.

Hey, Rust,

what are you--

what are you thinking of me

hitching up with your mom?

Is that all right?

Oh, there's a bridal suite too,

if you need to get ready beforehand.

It's fabulous.

It's so pretty.

Isn't it pretty, honey?

Yeah, it's gorgeous.

No, you're not gonna see

anything like it for miles around,

I assure you.

Oh my, is that what I think it is?

Ignore him, Rusty. He's just a stray.

it's another dog! Let's get him!

- Rusty, no. Get back here.

- Whoa whoa whoa.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Why are you guys chasing me?

Just get him.

Hey.

- No!

- Guys, wait up.

Now I got you.

- Aha! Now I'm gonna chase you.

- Don't chase me.

Rusty, listen to me. Stop it.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna get-- whoa!

I know. Goodness.

- You guys both go sit.

- Okay, just go.

- Sit down.

- Stay.

Relax. We'll talk to you later.

I can't believe she's gonna let us

have the event at the country club

- after all that. That was madness.

- I know. I know.

Wow, there's nobody here.

- Is it always this quiet?

- Yeah, it's a ghost town.

I remember when my mom and dad

opened this place,

there were antique stores

up and down the street.

Now they're all tasting rooms.

- Oh. We're the enemy?

- Mm-hmm.

- Look out.

- Hi.

Crazy lady carrying blankets.

She's behind on her rent.

- She's cuckoo.

- Is she really?

I don't know how much longer

she can keep this place going.

You just gotta figure out

how to get some butts in this place.

How do you do that?

I have no idea how to sell antiques.

Well, then why don't we get them in here

some way you do know,

I don't know, like--

- oh.

- What? What oh?

Do something you know.

Do something

you love.

You are a genius.

Do something with Christmas.

- That is a great idea.

- Oh, heads up. Heads up. Oh.

- Oh. hi.

- Hi.

Oh, sorry. Hi.

I didn't know you guys were here.

Hey, do you need a hand?

No.

Okay, here we go.

That day they got to work on a plan

to grab the tourists' attention.

The new family came together

and chipped in

to make sure it was perfect.

Oh, I just love a man who's handy.

I built a birdhouse once

with my own two paws.

? It's Christmas time,

it's Christmas time again ?

? The stockings are hung

and the tree is trimmed ?

? The sounds of the season

are ringing on in ?

? it's Christmas time,

it's Christmas time again ?

? Well, me and my baby

by the mistletoe ?

? Boy, don't you know? ?

? She'll be so happy ?

? When Santa comes tonight ?

? it's Christmas time,

it's Christmas time again. ?

Go. Go.

- Here you go. Merry Christmas.

- You'd better go.

? A-one, two, three, four, one ?

? Silent night ?

? Holy night... ?

Well, they do have a certain

je-ne-sais-quoi.

? All is bright ?

? Round yon Virgin ?

? Mother and Child,

Holy Infant... ?

I know they're your friends,

but no. Uh-uh.

? So tender and mild... ?

- Wow.

- Oh no, he's coming at me.

? Sleep in heavenly peace... ?

Oh brother.

? Sleep in heavenly peace. ?

Well, at least we're getting

the worst out of the way first,

- I think.

- You think?

Ja. Hello. Testing.

Is the micro--

- No.

- Uh, no.

Go like this.

- No.

- No.

? Here comes the bride,

here comes the bride... ?

I didn't even know

that note existed.

? Jingle bells ?

? How I love you, oh ?

? Jingle bells ?

? How I need you... ?

- Make it stop. Make it stop.

- I can't breathe. Make it stop.

? On a one-horse

open sleigh ?

? Over the fields we-- ?

? Laughing all the way... ?

- Okay, that's it.

- .' Jingle bells... .'

Wait, they're gonna do a Journey medley.

Don't you want to hear that?

- Susan, come on. Honey, they're not--

- No. No, I'm done. That's it.

Having sampled the highlights

of the Los Olives indie music scene,

it was time to move on

to the next element

of the wedding.

And after her delightful picnic

with the Campbell girls,

Susan thought it might be

a good idea for her boys

to spend some time

with their new stepfather.

- Who's hungry for cake?

- I do, I do, I do.

I want to try

some cake, Whoo-hoo!

Do we have to?

Joshua Edward Davis,

get out of this car right now.

Okay, come on.

Wow. And you two

are staying in here

until we're ready to go.

And if you're good,

I'll get you a treat on the way back.

I had to admit, more

and more I was really liking this guy.

Ryan, don't you want to come

see some wedding cakes, honey?

Okay.

Let me handle this.

Hey, buddy.

So you're not so thrilled about

your mom and I getting engaged, huh?

I get it. I think my daughters

would agree with you.

And I know that you're

missing your dad. Right?

I want you to know

I miss someone a lot too.

Madison and Emma's mama

was a really special lady

and I miss her a lot.

I really do.

But your dad--

I'm not trying to replace him.

I couldn't.

It'd be impossible.

What I can do

is I can help him.

I can help him take care of you,

take care of your brothers

and help look after your mom

a little bit.

And one thing

I'll guarantee you

is that I won't leave you.

He said that too.

Hey.

What do you say,

let's go in and get some cake?

? Joy to the world,

the Lord is come... ?

Wow, it smells good

in here, right?

- Yeah.

- What do they have here?

- Ooh.

- Whoa.

Bakery.

Come on.

I think over here maybe.

What do you think?

My heart cries out for the piece

of fondant on display here.

- He is nine, isn't he?

- Yeah.

- Hi, folks. How are you?

- How can I help you?

Good. We're getting married.

Congratulations. Have you thought about

what kind of cake you might like?

Not really.

I mean, we're here.

It's about as far as we've gotten.

Flavors?

- I was thinking angel food.

- Like a red velvet.

- Okay, lemon coconut.

- Raspberry cream.

Or--

Or lemon raspberry

coconut cream.

Okay, I think we have

some work to do.

Why don't I go get us

some books to look at?

Thank you. Good. All right, we're gonna

rock-paper-scissors for this.

- All right, you're on.

- Red velvet. What are you?

Um, lemon.

- Hey, where are you going?

- I smell something.

Can't you just

wait patiently?

- Hold on.

- Is that--

is that-- is that tiramisu

or a cappuccino torte?

You are going to get us

in so much trouble.

- Is it gonna look good?

- Or taste good.

All right, here we go.

Here are some samples for you.

Now I'd like to explain

each of these in detail, if I may.

First of all, we have the--

oh, not--

Just wait.

Wait wait just a second.

Okay, this is the sour cream fudge

with swirled marble.

I find the sour cream fudge

particularly playful.

Food Network.

We have the vanilla

French butter cream.

If you could just wait

and let me explain.

That's good.

This is-- this is not gonna

be a helpful--

- They're hungry. Sorry.

- Right. I just want--

- Guys.

- There's a detail that should--

Rusty, get back here.

- I just want to get a closer look.

- Maybe they got samples in the dumpster.

Oh, that's disgusting. Come on.

isn't that the most

beautiful thing

you've ever seen

in your whole life?

You're only three.

Yeah, but that's 21

in dog years.

- That didn't go so well.

- Okay, can I try some?

- Come to Rusty. Oh.

- Rusty!

What was that?

Oh gosh, that's so good.

What was that?

What is-- what is--

what is going on?!

What?

How did you get in here?!

You get out of here!

Get out of my bakery!

Get out of here, you!

Argh!

Furry, mangy, pile of fleas,

you get back here!

Are those your animals?

Do you have any idea

what they have done

to my kitchen,

to my cake?

They've ruined a $2500 cake!

Okay,

you get to go upstairs

and go to bed.

Go to bed.

Hi. Everything okay?

Oh yeah, other than the fact

that Rusty ran through the kitchen

of the bakery

and destroyed everything,

everything is great.

Hey, it's Pat again.

I have some fantastic news.

Call me immediate--

- Pat Blake.

- Hey, it's Susan.

Susan, what have you

been doing?

I've been waiting here in my office

all day for you to call me back.

I was out walking the dog.

I thought you'd like to know that

I had a very interesting conversation

with Mr. Bob Martinez

over at MOCA.

And?

Are you sitting down?

I am.

- You got the position!

- You're kidding me.

No. He said you're by far

the best candidate for the job.

That's incredible. I--

Chief Curator, New York City.

It's exactly what you wanted.

Yeah, I don't know what to say.

How about "Yeah"?

How about, "You're amazing, Pat.

And nobody else could have

done this for me, Pat."

Listen, they're sending

the contract over right now.

I'm gonna have the lawyers

take a peek at it.

All I need from you is a commitment

to start on the 1st.

I'll even book your flight out

on the 26th.

Oh, that's the day

after Christmas.

Well, you want time to get settled

or organized or whatever you do.

The kids probably need

a school to go to.

Right, yeah.

Of course.

What's the big deal?

It's just it's short notice is all.

Well, when you live life

in the fast lane like you are, Susan,

you gotta hold on tight.

This is exactly

what you've been waiting for.

I want to hear a celebration.

I want to hear excitement.

I want to hear jumping for joy.

Are you even jumping?

No, I am.

I've met someone.

Actually I've more than met someone.

I'm engaged to be married.

What? Why'd you go and do

something silly like that for?

Yeah, it just happened

on Thanksgiving.

We are going to be

getting married

on December 25th.

Listen, can I give you a little

piece of advice?

Because I've been married

four and a half times.

- Half?

- It was an annulment.

It was a stupid Vegas thing.

Whatever.

I know a thing or two about marriage.

Listen to me.

This whirlwind-romance-

spur-of-the-moment stuff

is fake. it's not real.

It doesn't exist.

It's a movie.

Do you understand?

It feels pretty real to me.

Fine. Then get married

to Mr. Mayberry

and spend the rest of your life

living in a small town

working at your mom's shop, because

that's what you're gonna be doing

if you marry this guy.

That's gonna be your life.

Or go to New York City,

the job of your dreams--

running the second-biggest

art museum on the East Coast.

You deserve this position.

And I would hate to see it go

to somebody else, Susan.

I know. Yeah.

Listen, give me 24 hours

to think about it, okay?

You got 12.

Marriage.

Disgusting.

You know, you were made

for that job.

Yeah, you can tell him

that I'll give him another 5% off,

but tell him that I know

that he knows that I know

that he's already getting a good deal.

Yeah, you guys are

our best customers.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, let me call you back.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Welcome.

- How's Rusty?

- Grounded.

I'll bet.

Can we talk for a minute?

Sure, yeah.

Let's go inside.

It's getting chilly out here.

New York?

Yeah. I've been wanting

something like this.

It's a tremendous opportunity.

MOCA is one of the biggest museums

in the country.

How did they find you?

I mean, who hires someone

without an interview?

- You interviewed.

- I did.

It was the day that we met

with the coordinators.

L-- they were in LA

and I went down.

You went down to LA

for an interview?

I didn't think anything

would come of it.

- And you didn't tell me?

- No, I didn't--

I didn't want to worry you.

I didn't--

Oh yeah, so you just lied about it.

That's so much better.

Okay, wait, did you never think

that I was gonna work again?

Of course not, but I thought these were

the kinds of things we could discuss...

- Yes, we are.

- ...that we could be open about them.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm here talking to you about it.

I want you to come to New York

with me.

I can't just leave here.

This is the only home that my kids know.

Their friends are here.

Their school is here.

I understand, but they can make

new friends. That's what kids do.

This place has been in my family

for 40 years--

40 yea rs.

There's nothing

more important than family.

And besides, I thought

we had a good thing here.

What about your mom's store?

What about that?

'Cause she took pity on me

and gave me a place to live?

I mean, I have worked

my entire life, Jake,

ever since I graduated

from high school.

I put myself through college.

I got two master's degrees--

to end up here?

This is not me. This was never meant

to be permanent for me.

I am not a small-town person.

You have this. You have the winery.

What do I have?

What defines me

other than mom?

Wife?

I didn't mean that.

Jake--

No, I know exactly

what you mean.

You know, when I told everyone

that I wanted to marry you, they said,

"Slow down.

You're moving too fast.

You don't know her

well enough."

And I told them

I knew exactly who you were

and that you were exactly

the person I've been looking for

since my wife died.

I guess I didn't know you at all.

Jake.

You know, I'm just gonna

go back to this place

that can do without me, okay?

? You can't control ?

? The way of the world, so ?

? Live in the moment ?

? With love in your heart... ?

Unfortunately, no one knew what to do,

but they couldn't shake the feeling

that they'd rushed into this

and maybe it was a mistake.

I worked my whole life

for this job, you know?

I know you did, baby.

You'd think he'd be

more understanding.

I hate to say it,

but I told you so.

I know. I know.

it's like when we make

a bottle of wine.

First you've got to cultivate

and grow the grapes.

Then you've got to check

the sugar content to make sure

you're harvesting them at

the right time. Then you ferment them.

You age it for months,

and then you bottle it.

You'd think maybe he would see

what a great opportunity this is.

Well, he lives here.

His kids' home is here.

And then, and only then,

you know you have

the perfect bottle of wine.

I thought

I had the perfect bottle.

Have you thought about staying?

Of course, but--

But what?

It's good money, Mom.

If I took this job,

I wouldn't have to worry any more.

Well, it sounds like

you've made up your mind.

It's not my decision.

She's the one leaving.

Have you told her

how you feel?

Of course I have.

I want him to come.

I haven't been this happy

in a long time,

but I can't just pack up

and leave all this to go out East.

I'm not gonna do it, Frank.

I can't.

I'm gonna call Pat.

I'm going to accept the position.

? Never forget ?

? This bliss ?

? Mark this day ?

? With a kiss... ?

-- .' It doesn't get .'

? Better than this ?

? I can't imagine ?

? Better than this ?

? I can't imagine... ?

Mommy?

Yeah, baby, what's up?

You two should be together.

You think so?

Everything's gonna be okay.

Don't worry.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you too.

Come on.

? Never forget ?

? This bliss ?

? Mark this day ?

? With a kiss ?

? It doesn't get ?

? Better than this ?

? I can't imagine ?

? Better than this ?

? I can't imagine ?

? Soon all of our memories,

frozen in time ?

? Get lost in the shadows

of days gone by ?

? But you never forget

when the timing is right ?

? So mark this day ?

- .' With a kiss .'

- .' All of our memories .'

? Frozen in time ?

- .' Mark this day .'

- .' Get lost in the shadows .'

? Of days gone by ?

- .' With a kiss .'

- .' But you never forget .'

? When the moment is right ?

? Mark this day ?

? With a kiss... ?

Yes, I will.

It really hurt to see her like this.

I knew how much

Jake meant to her.

I also knew how she felt, having to

move back in with her mom at that age.

Independence is important.

But she wasn't the only one upset.

I know.

I don't know

what we're gonna do.

- Hey, Daddy.

- Hello.

Love you.

Hey, sweetheart.

- Daddy.

- Yeah?

What's gonna happen to Susan?

Mm, have a seat.

Let me talk to you guys

for a second.

So Susan got a really nice

job opportunity

and she's moving

to New York.

Why does she have

to leave?

It's complicated,

honey.

I thought she wanted

to be our mommy.

I didn't know that it mattered

so much to you two.

It did to you.

And we want you to be happy.

And now Cheri doesn't have

Rusty any more.

See?

Hmm.

Come here, give me a hug.

- Love you guys.

- Love you, Daddy.

We're gonna be okay.

- Yeah, you too, come here, girl.

- Yeah, come here.

- Come on, honey. Yeah.

- Good girl.

We had five days left,

and there

wasn't a moment to lose.

Cheri and I had to come up

with a plan,

and fast.

- Rusty.

- Come on, Rusty.

Come on, Rusty,

stop playing around.

- Stop playing around.

- Rusty, come back!

- Mom's gonna k*ll us.

- Not if we catch him first.

Rusty! Rusty!

Rusty, come on, get back here.

Rusty, come back!

Rusty, Rusty!

What's she doing?

Now you have got to come with me.

It's important.

Why is she even here? There's no dogs

allowed in the tree house.

I think she wants us

to follow her.

I guess that's why she's barking.

Here, you go first.

Cheri!

- Cheri! Rusty!

- Cheri, get over here!

So what are you

doing here?

Following Cheri.

What are you doing here?

I don't know.

Rusty brought us here.

Right, your dog just happened to bring

you here at the same time we're here?

- He did.

- Are you calling us liars?

Maybe. What are you

gonna do about it?

You're the ones moving

to New York anyway.

It's not like

you couldn't come.

Please, if she really cared,

she wouldn't go.

Then you shouldn't make it sound

like it's all her fault.

Quiet!

Stop arguing.

He's right.

It's not about whose fault it is.

It's about what we're gonna

do about it.

My mom loves your dad.

And your dad loves her.

So the question is

how are we gonna make sure

that they still get married?

I think we need some extra help

on this one.

Let's go.

Emma was right.

It was time to bring in

the big g*ns.

And there was only one person

in the whole town

who could possibly fix

the situation.

Okay, guys, it's safe.

Come on.

Okay, so what's the plan?

One of us has got to go over there

and tell him what we want for Christmas.

- The wedding.

- Exactly.

- So how do we pick who does it?

- Okay, we've got one shot at this.

Who's the one person

he can't possibly say no to?

- Me?

- Just trust us.

Well, hello, children.

What are your names?

Look, I know you're not

the real Santa,

but that's okay.

Your secret's safe with me.

But I do know

that you're his helper,

so I was wondering

if you could ask him a favor.

Well, Santa's pretty busy

this time of year,

but I'm sure he can

do something.

What's your favor?

Well, my brothers and I

and the girls over there--

we'd like to get our parents

back together for Christmas.

They were supposed to get married

Christmas Day,

but now they're not.

Can you help them?

Hmm.

Well, that's a lovely

Christmas wish.

And don't you want something

for yourself,

say, a video game

or a bike?

No, this is all I want.

Can you help?

Well, it's a pretty tall order,

but I'll tell you what:

Elf Herbert, bring me

one of those flyers, please.

This is Elf Herbert.

Thank you, Elf Herbert.

You get them to come to this

and Santa's gonna see

what he can do, okay?

Okay.

Now you make sure

you get them there by noon.

Got it.

And you kids,

you all have a wonderful Christmas.

- Merry Christmas, Santa.

- Merry Christmas.

Now on your way.

Santa's got work to do.

Merry Christmas, children.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Oops.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

- h* h* h*!

- Welcome all to the annual

- h* h* h*!

- Welcome all to the annual

Los Olives Christmas Fair!

Girls, what do you want to do?

I want to go to the stage, Dad.

You want to go to the stage?

You want to listen to music?

- Yeah, come on.

- Let's go over, come on.

- Okay.

- Come on.

Come on, we're gonna

miss the performance.

All right, all right,

we're going. We're going.

I mean, like, isn't this something?

They do it every year.

They've got music.

They've got games.

I even think they have a couple of

reindeer over there by the petting zoo.

- What about dogs?

- Somebody pet me.

Okay, let's get this

over with, come on.

Uh, you know,

I know things are

difficult right now.

But promise me you'll try

to have a good time

-for the boys' sake.

- I promise. Okay okay.

- Hey, Jake, you made it.

- Hey.

- Can we go play?

- Yeah, I'm gonna look around.

- Okay, all right. Don't go far.

- Yeah, come on.

See you later.

Bye. What are you doing here?

You're looking at the main attraction.

We go on in five.

Stop it.

Are you playing here?

Just because we weren't good enough

to play at your wedding

doesn't mean that we're not

good enough to rock this house.

- How are you, gentlemen?

- Hey, Father.

- Reverend, how are you?

- Good to see you.

Frank, do you have a moment?

I just need to speak with you.

- Lead the way, Padre.

- Excuse us, Jake.

- Uh, yeah.

- I'll see you in a little bit.

? Tra Ia Ia Ia Ia ?

? La Ia Ia Ia. ?

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

We're gonna play another

Christmas carol for you,

but before we do that

I'd like to make a dedication

to two very special people

in the audience.

Jake, Susan, this is for you.

? Silent night ?

? Holy night ?

? Allis calm ?

? All is bright ?

? Round yon virgin... ?

Well, it looks like

they want us to dance.

I'm not sure

that's a good idea.

Come on, it's Christmas.

? So tender and mild... ?

You know these past few days

that we've been apart

- have been kind of hard.

- .' Sleep in heavenly peace... .'

Don't. it's okay.

No no, I-- I have to.

? In heavenly peace... ?

I feel like I'm all alone.

I feel like I'm missing

a huge piece of me that I--

I feel like I've just lost it.

But I didn't lose it.

Not yet.

It's still here.

I don't want to spend

any more of my life without you.

And I'll do anything

to prevent that.

Look, the girls are miserable

and Cheri is crying every night.

Yeah, the boys have been

pretty upset too.

I didn't think

it would be this hard.

I miss you.

If you want,

we'll go to New York with you.

You know what?

I'm kind of starting

to like it here.

What about your job?

There'll be other jobs.

There's only one you.

Susan Davis,

will you still marry me?

Yeah. Yes.

Are you guys gonna

get married or what?

You'd better.

It's Christmas. Do it.

You guys.

You guys.

Hey, Jake, we haven't rocked out

in a while. Get up here.

Come on, get up here.

Let's do this.

All right.

? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?

? Jingle all the way ?

? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?

? In a one-horse open sleigh ?

? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?

? Jingle all the way ?

? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?

? In a one-horse open sleigh... ?

Guys, come on.

? Dashing through the snow ?

? In a one-horse open sleigh ?

? O'er the field we go ?

? Laughing all the way,

ha ha ha ?

? Bells on bobtails ring ?

? Making spirits bright ?

? What fun it is

to laugh and sing ?

? A sleighing song tonight... ?

Are they really gonna

sing the whole thing?

I think so.

? Jingle all the way ?

? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?

? In a one-horse ?

? Open sleigh. ?

? The first Noel the angels did say ?

? Was to certain poor shepherds ?

? In fields as they lay ?

? In fields where they ?

? Lay keeping their sheep ?

? On a cold winter's night ?

? That was so deep ?

? Noel, Noel... ?

- Pat Blake.

- Hi Pat. it's Susan.

Well, it's about time.

Where have you been?

I've been holding MOCA off all day.

I re-read your contract though

and I gotta tell you,

you're getting a heck of a deal.

I would like you to tell them,

"Thank you very much for the offer,"

but I'm going to pass.

Susan, I'm sorry, hold on.

We must have

a bad connection,

'cause it sounded like

you just said you were passing.

I did.

Okay, Susan,

I want you to listen to me.

I know how these small towns are.

They get inside of you

like one of those parasites--

when you go to a country, and they say

"Don't drink the water"

but you drink it anyway.

'Cause that's what's happening here,

Susan. I need you to be rational.

Everything you've ever worked for,

I'm getting you--

New York City, MOCA.

This is the big time, honey.

I know. You're right.

It is everything I've been working for,

but I've been working

for the wrong things.

I get it. it's the money.

You know, I had a feel--

okay, you just give me a number

and I'll go back to them

and I'll get you your money.

Family is the most

important thing.

An expense account?

A company car. A company car.

No, a longer lunch, of course,

so you can spend time with your family.

- No, not interested.

- You tell me what you're looking for.

I will go back to them.

I promise I'll get it.

Not unless they will move

the museum to Los Olives.

That could be difficult.

Thanks, Pat.

Bye.

I gotta check this Los Olives out.

Do not put your butt

on my couch!

Of course now there was the challenge

of putting everything back together

at a moment's notice.

And if there's one thing Jake

and Susan loved, it was a challenge.

The country club gave away the room

for a Christmas party.

Guys, guys, settle down

for a second here.

The caterer's booked.

The officiant went to Maui.

And our florist has been booked

by a charity event,

which is kind of irrelevant,

because it's too late for them to get

the flowers that we wanted anyway.

Okay, well, what about the cake?

She said something about

a restraining order and then hung up.

And the tuxedo guys is closed

until New Year's anyway.

We can just wait.

We don't have to do it on Christmas.

We can call

a justice of the peace.

Look, I promised my bride-to-be

a Christmas wedding.

And that is exactly

what you're going to get.

You're sweet.

I promise,

All right.

Hey hey hey, guys, guys.

Finally the big day had arrived.

- Merry Christmas.

- Santa came.

Come on, wake up.

We've got to go open presents.

- Come on, come on, Mom.

- Come on, Mom.

- Rusty. Rusty.

- Where's Grandma?

- Come on, Rusty. Come on.

- Five more minutes.

- No, now. Come on.

- No, come on, now.

- All right.

- Rusty wants you to.

You are crazy, boys.

- Move it, move it, move it.

- Come on, go go go.

- Look, Santa came.

- Nice.

Oh my gosh.

Yay! Here we go.

- Oh boy, a bone.

- That's mine, yep.

Merry Christmas, girls.

- Come here, honey.

- Cool.

This is awesome.

- Sweet.

- Daddy, it's my bunny.

Aw, look at that.

it's the bear you always wanted,

but you never got it for Christmas.

This is.

How did you know I wanted it?

This is for me too.

- I got a frog.

- A frog?

- Look at it.

- What?

? 'Tis the season to be jolly ?

? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia

Ia Ia Ia Ia ?

? Fa Ia Ia Ia Ia ?

? La Ia Ia ?

? La. ?

My client does not even get out of bed

for less than 250K per year

plus stock options. That's his

bare minimum. Take it or leave it.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Excuse me, excuse me.

Sir, I'm sorry, you're gonna have

to get off the phone.

The ceremony is gonna

begin any minute.

- We're gathering the--

- I will. I'm going there.

- The bride comes right through here.

- Excuse me. Thank you, Reverend.

Yes yes, thank you, thank you.

I'm off. I'm off. I'm off. Go.

Are you still there?

Oh, yeah yeah yeah.

Of course I'm always

in my office.

Yes. Deal or no deal?

- Deal? Deal? Deal? Deal? Done.

- Excuse me, sir.

- There you go. Relax.

- Please take your seat, sir!

What side is the bride's family on?

Thank you, Your Honor.

- All right, are we all ready to go?

- Yes.

- How do I look?

- You look beautiful, Mommy.

You look great.

And I just want you to know

that I'm willing to share my room

if I have to.

Oh, you're the best.

Are you okay?

I'm just so very happy for you.

Oh, thank you.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Let's get going.

We mustn't keep people waiting,

must we? Fly fly fly.

Come on, let's go.

- Yes, we can.

- I love you.

- Reverend.

- Jake.

Come on, hurry up.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here

in the presence

of these witnesses

to join Susan Davis and Jake Campbell

in holy matrimony.

I looked forward to this moment

since the day I first laid eyes on her.

I knew Cheri was the girl for me

and part of me actually wanted

to pinch myself

just to make sure

it was actually happening.

Of course without opposable thumbs

I couldn't really pinch myself,

but still it was

too good to be true.

But that's not all

that came over me that day.

It had been a long time

since I saw Susan smile like that.

I knew that just as much

as Cheri and I

were destined to be together,

so were they.

If I had tear ducts, I would cry.

May I have the rings?

Do you, Jake,

take Susan

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to have and to hold,

in sickness and in health,

for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Susan,

take Jake to be your

lawfully wedded husband,

to have and to hold,

in sickness and in health,

for as long as you both

shall live?

I do.

By the powers vested in me,

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

Jake, you may now

kiss your bride.

I know her.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I present

Mr. and Mrs. Jake Campbell?

? When the Christmas lights ?

? Are twinkling ?

? And the glistening snow ?

? Has fallen ?

? Sleigh bells keep... ?

Nice service, Rabbi.

I couldn't help but notice

your sparkling personality

and a winning

public speaking ability.

And I said to myself,

"Pat Blake--" that's me--

"that guy needs a headhunter."

Check it out. Give me a call. We'll do

beautiful things together, me and you.

Why, thank you so much.

I believe this belongs to you.

Oh, germs.

And I do have some people

I need to say hello to.

Well, you do that. You say hello

to them. Do your thing.

- Thank you so much. Lovely meeting you.

- It's great to meet you.

? For a Christmas dance

with you... ?

Logan's cooking went without a hitch.

Several guests, well,

acknowledging they'd never had

a marshmallow peanut butter

fudge wedding cake before,

said it was the best

they'd ever had.

He even had a small

non-chocolate version

for those of us who are

chocolate-intolerant.

Finally there was the garter toss,

a bouquet toss,

and it was time to go.

You know what that smell is?

Money.

Right, that's the smell of money.

I see this place.

I see why Susan likes it here.

'Cause that valley is pure.

And you know what that valley needs?

- One thing. One thing only.

- No.

Exactly. Condos.

All over the place-- condos.

Get rid of the green stuff.

Oh man.

We're gonna like living here.

All right, you've stood

by me enough.

Please. Please.

? We could trip

the light fantastic ?

? In the clouds

where reindeer frolic... ?

And so that's

the story of the Christmas wedding.

Everything worked out in the end.

The family came together.

And, as it turned out,

Los Olives was in need

of someone with a little bit

of art knowledge.

And here we all are--

two parents, one in-law,

three boys, two girls...

And two dogs.

All living under one roof.

And I suppose

you're expecting me to say

"They all lived happily

ever after," right?

- But they did.

- Yeah, they do now,

but not at first.

Someday I'm gonna have to tell you

the story of what happened

when they all first

moved in together.

- Oh, and the family honeymoon.

- Yeah, who could forget?

Trust me, folks,

you don't want to miss that one.

? And the glistening snow ?

? Has fallen ?

? Sleigh bells keep ?

? A perfect rhythm for ?

? A Christmas dance ?

? With you ?

? A Christmas dance ?

? With you ?

? With you ?

? With you. ?