Monster's Christmas, The (1981)

[bunniefuu]

("Silent Night")

- Once upon a time, there was

(girl speaking drown
out by "Silent Night")

(monster grunting softly)

Now that was many years ago,
the monsters were very happy,

always laughing and singing.

(monster grunting softly)

Now there was nothing monsters like better

than Christmas carols, and so
every year on Christmas Eve

they had a huge carol-singing competition.

Then one Christmas, a wicked
witch called Fistenduke

entered the monsters' competition,

but she sang so horribly
that she came in last.

Fistenduke was so, Fistenduke,
what an awful name, Teddy,

was so furious that she started a fight.

And Fistenduke stole all
the monsters' voices.

And the monsters stole
Fistenduke's magic wand and hid it.

She hid the monsters' voices in her cave

inside the mountain of rumbles,

and told the monsters

they could only get their voices back

if they came to the cave
and said the magic word.

The monsters couldn't
speak, so there was no way

they could say the magic word.

(monster grunts softly)

Now, every Christmas the monsters search

for someone who can say
the magic words for them.

And that's when--

("Silent Night")

Until they find that person,

they'll never be able to sing
their Christmas carols again.

Poor monsters.

(object clunks)

Father Christmas.

(light playful music)

(monster grumbles)

You're not Father Christmas.

(monster grumbles)
(stocking thuds)

Hey, that's my Christmas stocking.

I know what you are, you're a monster.

(monster grumbles)

And you don't scare me,
'cause you can't even talk.

(monster sniffles)

Oh no, of course. I'm sorry, I forgot.

It's the carols, isn't it?
The singing and everything.

(monster moans)

I know, that old Fistenduke
took all your voices away,

and now you can't tell
anyone the magic words.

(monster moans)

Of course, someone else
could say the words.

(monster grumbles)

But there's still
Fistenduke, the old witch.

(monster groans)

If only monsters were magic too.

What's that for?

Um, poker?

Uh, fire?

A sword, a sword. No, no.

I know, I know, a baton like a policeman.

(bold synth music)

(monster grumbles)

The wand, the wand, you've
got the witch's wand.

If I had the magic wand,
I could do anything.

I could say the words for you, couldn't I?

And Fistenduke couldn't
do a thing about it.

And everything would be good,

and you'd get your voices back.

(monster grumbles)

Just one thing, you've got to get me back

in time for Christmas.

(monster grumbles)
Come on,

let's go and get the magic wand.

(light whimsical music)

♪ I'm got to get their voices
back, it's really up to me ♪

♪ Without my help, the monsters
will forever silent be ♪

♪ So off to get the magic
wand and get into the cave ♪

♪ And meet the wicked witch ♪

♪ And say the words I know we'll say ♪

♪ The monsters from a silent night ♪

♪ And from a silent day ♪

♪ And with the help of the magic wand ♪

♪ I'm sure we'll find a way ♪

♪ And I must not be scared ♪

♪ I must go without delay ♪

♪ If I'm going to get their voices back ♪

♪ And be home for Christmas day ♪

(sinister whimsical music)

(gentle music)

First, where've you
hidden the witch's wand?

(monster grumbles)

(curious music)

(gentle music)

This is spooky.

(eerie music)

Oh, that's your place.

(monster grumbles)

(mysterious music)

(wand whirring)

(triumphant music)

I'm tired. Let's have something to eat.

How 'bout a chocolate?

(monster grumbles)

Don't monsters like chocolate?

(monster grumbles)

What do monsters like?

(monster grumbles)

(page crinkles)

Hey, you ripped my book.

(monster grumbles)

Pictures? You eat pictures?

(monster grumbles)

Pictures of flowers?

This was one of my Christmas presents.

I could draw you some
pictures of flowers I suppose.

(monster grumbles)

(light whimsical music)

Yuk. Go away.

(monster groans)

(light whimsical music)

(suspenseful music)

(light whimsical music)

(monster groans)

You greedy leech.

Forget about it, this one's a sunflower.

(light whimsical music)

(monster grumbles)

(evil monster growls)

(wand whirs)

(monster grumbles)

(wand whirs)

(monster grumbles excitedly)

(wand whirring)

(fire crackles)

(monster laughs)

Come on, Mr. Monster, let's
go to the witch's cave.

(monster snorting)

(objects clatter)

(monster cries out)

- Oh, it's you. Oh, get out
of here, I'm trying to sleep.

What? The wand?

You found the wand?

Well nevermind that. Where is it?

(monster groaning)

Where out there?

(monster groans)

A monster?

Oh, I don't care how many
monsters or what size they are,

just go out there and find the wand.

- It's an awfully long way.

All the way through the forest,

and then, up the mountain?

(monster grumbles)

Then the witch's cave.

(monster grumbles)

And all on my own.

(monster grumbles)

Are you sure you won't come?

(monster grumbles)

Nearly forgot.

(paper crinkles)

(monster grumbles)

(lighthearted whimsical music)

Bye, Mr. Monster.

(lighthearted whimsical music)

Anybody there?

(tense bouncy music)

(girl gasps)

No!

Put me down. Please, monster.

Help! I'm on your side. Put me down.

(gentle curious music)

(monster chattering)

I want to be a monster too,

and I'm going to get all your voices back.

(monster chattering)

(gentle music)

(evil monster grumbles)

(gentle music)

Well, how do I look?

(monster chattering)

Do you think Fistenduke
will think I'm a monster?

(monster chattering)

(sighs) Oh, I wish you could talk.

Stop it! That tickles.

I'll tickle you.

(monster chatters excitedly)

Is that what monsters
do when they're tickled?

(monster chattering)

(suspenseful music)

(evil monster grumbles)

(monster chattering)

(tense music)

(evil monster grumbles)

(tense music)

(monster chattering)

(bouncy synth music)

If only you could tell me
what the magic words are.

(monster chattering)

(gentle music)

(evil monster gasping)

(gentle bouncy music)

(girl gasps)

(urgent bouncy music)

(water rushing)
(tense music)

(evil monster grunting)

(evil monster splashes)

(slow synth music)

(evil monster gasping)

(gentle melodic music)

(mud bubbling)

(water bubbling)

(gentle melodic music)

(monsters chatter)

(monsters exhale)

(light whimsical music)

(monsters grumbling)

(gentle somber music)

Oh, no.

(monsters grumble)

I need that wand.

You are a mud monster, aren't you?

(monsters grumble)

If you don't give it to me,
I'll never get your voices back.

I've come such a long way.

The first monster made
me a monster too. See?

(monsters grumble)

All but my hands.

And I do want to get
out of here, so please.

(monsters grumble)

Thank you.

Look. Now pay attention.

How many legs do monsters have per head?

12?

(monster chattering)

16?

(monsters chattering)

15.

(monster chattering)

15 legs and, four eyes as well?

(monsters grumble)

(paper crumples)

(monster grumbling)

(girl giggles)

(monsters grumbling)

(girl laughs)

(paper crumpling)

(girl laughing)

(monster burps)

(whimsical music)

(tongue sputters)

(whimsical music)

(tongue sputters)

(girl growls)

(light whimsical music)

(monster chuckles)

Is my head ready?

Yuck.

(monsters groan)

Oh no, I mean, yuck, good.

(monsters grumble)

(mud gurgles)

- The magic word

hello.

A noisy greeting from below.

(mud chattering incomprehensibly)

- The magic word is like hello,

a noisy greeting from below.

(monsters groan)

Hello, below.

(monsters chuckle)

Hello, below.

Hello, baloo.

Hello, baloo.

Hullabaloo.

Hullabaloo, hullabaloo, hullabaloo.

(monster clap)

Right, I know the magic word,

but where are the voices hidden?

- Above the horse and deep inside.

Behind the teeth the voices hide.

- Above the horse and deep inside.

Behind the teeth, the voices hide.

What does it mean?

(monsters chattering)

(mud gurgles)

(monsters grumbling)

Oh well, time to go I suppose.

- [Both] Sh. (grunt)

- Oh.

(deep buzzing)

(monsters gasp)

(light whimsical music)

(Fistenduke grunting)

- 18, 19, 20, and now.

(woman on TV drown out
by Fistenduke groaning)

And a one, and a two, and a three,

and a four, and a five, and a six,

and a seven, and an eight, and

(drown out by Fistenduke groaning)

nine, 10, and lift your hands
very clearly above the head.

And 19, 20, and hold.

Well ladies, we should
be nicely loosened up now

and ready for something a little
more strenuous on the bar.

(gentle somber music)

(monster hisses)

(suspenseful music)

(monster grumbling)

(suspenseful music)

No!

(girl's voice echoing)

(monsters yell)

- [Woman On TV] And hold.

Up and hold.

And up.
(Fistenduke groans)

And up and over and round,
and up and over and round.

And up and over and round,
and keep those legs straight.

And up and over and--

- Oh, get out of here.

Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?

(monster grumbles)

Oh!

Oh,

you clever, Nasty.

You found the wand.

No more exercises.

Oh, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me, give it to me.

Ah!

Ah!

Now, I've got it, and
you're going to get it.

(wand whirring)

(wand sputters)

You fool.

Where is the orb on the end?

It's not there.

(monster grumbles)

Ah!

Go on and get it!

Go on!

(whimsical music)

Turned people into toads
for less than this.

(curious music)

(eerie whirring)

(anticipatory music)

(monsters grumbling happily)

(triumphant music)

(curious music)

- Hello. What have we here?

A baby monster.

Oh, bit angry are we, dear? (laughs)

What are you doing here?
Got lost, did you? Hm?

Well, well, well, well,
well, can't speak, can you?

(laughs) Not since I
took your voices away.

(Fistenduke laughs)

Oh, I hate monsters.

So big and ugly.

Not you. You're not so bad. Hm.

Ugly, oh. But not so big.

You know what I like
best about monsters, hm?

This. (laughs)

Oh, I think that's so funny.

That's what happens when
you pull their ears.

You know, there's something
else monsters are good at. Work.

You've stumbled in here
at exactly the right time.

Mm, must have things
right for Christmas, eh?

Dusting and sweeping and polishing.

Oh, we'll have everything ready

for us all to sing the carols.

All except you, that is. Mm?

Oh, come on now, none of
that. Crying comes later.

Now is the time for work. Come along.

Come along. Oh, nice hands for a monster.

(triumphant music)
(monsters grumbling)

Welcome to my little gymnasium.

Uh, plenty to do here.

Now first, you can polish
the horizontal bar.

Then I want the whole place dusted up. Hm.

The mats turned and shaken,

and I'll have the walls
wiped right down, right down.

Now the floor, I'd like this whole floor

scrubbed and polished.

And then you can start on this exercycle.

Clean it right down with a damp cloth,

and then oil all the moving parts, hm?

Oh, now perhaps you'd like
a little something to eat

before you start.

I don't want you fainting on me.

Well, a little Christmas something,

especially for a monster. (chuckles)

Oh.

This is such fun.

I haven't done any
drawing for a long time.

If you get indigestion it's
because I'm out of practice.

(Fistenduke laughs)

Oh, there are fish eyes. Oh.

And uh, some thistle leaves.

(eerie music)

I think.

(startling music)

Oh, and a little bat's milk, of course.

(Fistenduke vocalizing)

Ah, here we are then.

A special treat. (vocalizing)

- Madam.

(Fistenduke vocalizing)

(tense music)

(monster groans)

(monsters chattering)

(triumphant music)

- Oh, show me.

Mm, not bad.

You can hoist them up again later.

Uh, over there.
- Hm?

- Bicycle.
- Mm.

(Fistenduke hums "Deck the Halls")

Wipe it clean.

Have you done the trampoline?

Oh? Well, the horse
then, polish the horse.

♪ Don we now our g*y ♪

The horse, the vaulting horse.
By the dumbbell, stupid. Oh!

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

- Above the horse, deep inside.

Above?

(mysterious music)

Behind the teeth, the voices hide.

(eerie music)

- What are you staring at? Mm?

(curious music)
(monster panting)

(tense suspenseful music)

(monsters yelling)

(suspenseful music)

(humming) Shine up those dumbbells.

(Fistenduke vocalizing)

(curious music)

Well, have you found the orb?

(monster grumbles)

No. Huh?

Monsters? Monsters are coming?

(monster grunts)
One, two,

three monsters are coming?

The mountain monster, hm, hm?

Um, um, a fast, fast monster.

(monster grunts)

Uh mud, mud monster.

They smell terrible.

Huh? Oh yes, that's a monster.

It's my new helper.

Well, I need someone 'round here,

you're always out wasting your time.

Ah, don't keep opening and
shutting your mouth like that.

That monster, um,

can,

speak?

Why didn't you tell me?

(triumphant music)

(monsters grumbling)

I'll get you.

Oh, you ugly, little leech. Ah!

Nobody fools Fistenduke.

Oh, just you wait. (yells)

Excuse me. Ah!

(triumphant music)
(monsters grumbling)

(curious music)

(monster grunts)

Ah! Sh.

(curious music)

Get.

(lighthearted music)

(suspenseful music)

(triumphant music)

(monsters grumbling)

Ah!

Huh?

Oh!

(tense synth music)

(wand whirring)

(Fistenduke laughs sinisterly)

(scary music)

Oh!

(Fistenduke gasps)

(curious music)
(monster grumbling)

(drums rolling)

(Fistenduke gasps)

(Fistenduke laughs)

That's what happens to clever people.

And now we'll see what happens to people

who don't mind their own business.

You came in here, into my
cave, to take something.

Didn't you?

You came in here to take
the monsters' voices.

And that makes you a thief.

(monster sighs)

And you know what happens
to thieves, don't you?

Especially thieves who
try to fool Fistenduke.

Ha!

(monsters grumbling)

Ah!

No!

(wand whirring)

(Fistenduke gasping)

Oh!

(suspenseful music)
(monsters grumbling)

(magical airy music)

(monsters chattering)

- Hullabaloo!

(girl's voice echoing)

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is bright ♪

♪ 'Round yun virgin ♪

♪ Mother and child ♪

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ Shepherds quake at the sight ♪

♪ Glories stream from heaven afar ♪

♪ Heavenly hosts sing alleluia ♪

♪ Christ the savior is born ♪

♪ Christ the savior is born ♪

("Silent Night")

(monsters humming "Silent Night")

♪ Love's pure light ♪

♪ Radiant beams from thy holy face ♪

♪ With dawn of redeeming grace ♪

♪ Jesus Lord, at thy birth ♪

♪ Jesus Lord, at thy birth ♪

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is bright ♪

♪ Round yon virgin ♪

♪ Mother and child ♪

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪