Growing Fangs (2021)

[bunniefuu]

[birds chirping]

[footsteps approaching]

[curtains opening]

Amá!

[rock music playing]

Ugh, I know. I know.
I know what you're thinking.

"What kind of teenager flosses?"

That's not even the half of it.

[spits]

[music ends]

Thank you.

Thanks.

All of it.

Javi.

Here goes nothing.

[clears throat]

There's something I want to say.

-Javi, don't fill up on the blood again.
-But I'm a vampire!

Primero, your human stomach.

And I've been thinking about it
for a while now.

Javier Luis Garcia.

-And I think I'm old enough to be heard.
-Javi. [speaking Spanish]

-[all exclaim]
-[hisses]

[in Spanish]

[hisses]

[speaking Spanish]

People!

[groans]

-Are you stuck up there again?
-No.

Yes.

-Dad.
-I got you, mija.

Thank you.

There you go.

Okay.

I've decided I want to tell Jimmy
I'm half-vampire.

Valeria.

We know he's your friend, but he's human.

So is Dad.

Hey, didn't you fall madly in love
with one human, right, mi amor?

[both chuckling]

Besides, I think Jimmy's a good kid.

-Yes. Yes, he is.
-[father] Yeah.

We all love Jimmy,

but we're already taking too many risks
every time he comes over.

-[sighs]
-Remember what happened last week?

[Jimmy] Are you not hungry?

We can't eat that stuff anymore.

Spicy food?

Yes, spicy. Ooh.

[speaks Spanish]

Oh, do you have any garlic?

[laughing]

-No.
-All good. I always bring some with me.

[all] No!

-Abuelita.
-Mmm?

You were fine with Dad knowing, right?

[grandmother] No.

[in Spanish]

But that's not fair.
Jimmy's my best friend.

What about your new school?
Aren't you making any new friends there?

I wanna go to monster school like Val.

-Oh!
-Ugh. He can take my place.

You don't wanna learn
about your vampire side?

No, amá. That's not what I meant.

I didn't like human school either,
but at least I had Jimmy there.

But can't you find a new Jimmy
at your school?

Go talk to the vampiros, mija.
You're one of them.

-No, no, no!
-[chattering]

No, no, no, no!

[in Spanish]

[laughs]

[Jimmy] Hey, Val.

Hey, Jimmy.

Whoa. You got a dog
and you didn't tell me?

Wait, he's-- Um, he's scared of people.

You know, I wouldn't want you
to get bitten. [chuckles]

Yeah.

All right, but you know dogs love me.

[Valeria] Yeah.

How's school been?

Honestly, not good since you left.
[chuckles]

Jimmy, why didn't you tell me?

I haven't heard from you in a while.

Yeah.

Are you liking your new school?

[chuckling] Yeah.

It's a school, you know.

Maybe I can come
to one of your games or something.

Oh!

Maybe.

-[Jimmy clears throat]
-[Valeria chuckles]

Well, I gotta get to school.

Right. Yeah.

[Jimmy] Hey.

I miss you, Val.

You're the only person I can talk to
about anything, you know.

Me-- Me too.

[sighs]

[groans]

[rock music playing]

[woman] Heads up.

-[growls, hisses]
-Ooh!

Hi.

[cat meows]

Oh, no.

On your left.

[meowing continues]

[music ends]

Yeah. "Just make a friend, Val.
It'll be easy."

[grunts]

[pop music playing]

[music ends]

That's Elsie Fang.

She's the star of the basketball team.

[crowd cheering]

And she smells like the perfect mix
of peppermint and blood clots.

Like, it's not like
I have a crush on her or anything.

Okay, fine. Maybe a small one.

Oh, my--

Ugh, I can't believe Wesley caught fleas.

See, this is why you never hang out
too close to werewolves.

-They don't all have fleas.
-Ugh.

Who are we gonna get to be the mascot
this close to the pep rally?

Ugh, if anyone would do this,
they'd be my hero.

[chuckling] Hey, gals.

Um, I overheard you might need
someone to fill in as mascot.

[whispering] Trágame, tierra.
Why am I doing this?

[gasps] Oh, yeah. That's why.

[chuckles]

Oh, my gosh.
You have no idea what this means to me.

It can't be that hard
to be a Dark Hallows Demon, right?

Oh, actually,
it's the mascot for the other team.

Last night we turned into bats
and stole it from their school.

-Whoa. You can do that?
-Mm-hmm. You can't?

Yes, I can. Yes.

It's just that it's a huge game,
so we have to pump up the school.

Yes. So, what's the other team? [chuckles]

The Horrid Humans.

Yeah, I know.
Such a terrible mascot, right?

But if there's anything
that will unify the school,

it's our hatred of the Horrid Humans.

Just curious. [chuckles]

Have you ever met a human before?

-So I'll know how to act.
-No.

But they should be pretty easy to mock.
Just act unpredictable and violent.

Yeah.

[sighs]

[Elsie knocks]
Hey, how's it going in there?

Yeah, don't come in!
I'll be right out. Give me one second.

You look amazing.

Thanks.
It's kinda hard to breathe in there.

[Elsie] Val.

For real.

Thank you for doing this.

You know, nobody ever comes to our games.

-Our stands are always empty.
-[laughter]

The pep rally's gonna change that.

-Thanks to you.
-[chuckles]

All right, team, let's get on over here.
Oh, who wants the last Gatorbleed?

-[girl ] No, thanks.
-[girl ] Mm-mmm.

No one? Okay.

Here, Val, you take it.

[sighs]

No, thanks. I'm good.

No, really, take it.
You're part of the team now.

Okay. Before you judge me,

I mean, you try being the only
half-living hormonal teenager

in this school of undead.

[chuckles]

Destroy the humans!

[whooping]

[all] Val! Val! Val! Val! Val! Val!
Val! Val! Val!

-Val! Val! Val! Val! Val!
-[stomach gurgles]

Val! Val! Val! Val! Val!

-[instruments tuning]
-[chattering]

-[yawns]
-[groans]

[howls]

Dora. Starters up front.

Oh. Right.

Uh, yeah. [chuckles]

-Thanks, Val.
-Yeah.

Sports were never my strong suit.

Why are you on the team then?

Better than being alone.

Yeah.

All right, girls. Let's go!

[whooping]

[stomach gurgling]

[crowd cheering]

[grunts]

[sighing] Okay.

[grunts]

[Elsie] Here come the Horrid Humans!

[booing]

[crowd] Humans suck!
Humans suck! Humans suck!

[Valeria] No. No, no, no, no.

[Valeria] It's fun, it's fun.
You can do this. Stop.

You can do it. You can do it. Do it.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

[crowd] Humans suck! Humans suck!
Humans suck!

-Humans suck! Humans suck! Humans suck!
-[Valeria panting]

[crowd] Humans suck! Humans suck!
Humans suck!

[cheering]

[sobbing]

[gasps]

[panting]

No, wait, wait, wait, wait!

-[stomach gurgles]
-[gasps]

[retching]

[school bell rings]

[phone chimes]

[chiming continues]

[door opens]

I got some interesting results.

Please don't tell the school.

For my eyes only.

Here. Drink this.

And stay away from that Gatorbleed, okay?

That'll make any human
toss their blood platelets.

I'm half-human.

My chart says vampire and human.

There's no halves about it.

You know, I'm a witch.

I'm tall. I'm Muslim.

And I am fabulous.

[chuckles]

[phone chimes]

[Jimmy on phone]
Hey, Val. Everything okay?

Came over to check on you.
Your mom packed me some enchiladas.

Hey, maybe I'll see if your dog
will let me pet him. [kisses]

Hey, buddy! Come here.

Whoa. Whoa. What-- [screams]

-[Elsie] It's a human! Grab him!
-[pants]

If you want some enchiladas, I'll share.

[Elsie] Okay, okay. Don't panic.

I can do this. I don't know
where he's been, but I can do this.

Stop!

Val?

[all] Ooh!

Let go of him. He's my best friend.

Val, what are you?

I'm a vampire... and human.

-[gasps]
-[girl ] What did she say?

[Elsie] Get her too!

-No, come on.
-[Jimmy] Come on. No, no, no. What?

[hisses]

Jimmy, the enchiladas.

[screams]

-[Elsie] Is this garlic?
-[girl ] Garlic?

-[girl ] Ew! Let's get out of here!
-[girl ] Run!

[chuckles]

[Jimmy] You saved me.

-You're not terrified of me?
-[Jimmy] That depends.

-You ever been tempted to bite me?
-Oh, don't flatter yourself.

-Dude, why didn't you tell me?
-I couldn't.

-You have fangs?
-I know!

[Dora] Hey, Val?

I just wanted to tell you...

Um, I'm actually half-werewolf.

Really?

For the first time,
I didn't feel so alone.

[chuckles]

[rock music playing]

We're very happy to have both of you here.