02x09 - The Big Test

[bunniefuu]

Announcer: scott paper company
takes pleasure in presenting...

Robert young...

And jane wyatt.

With elinor donahue, billy
gray, and lauren chapin...

Hey, dad, listen! I'm gonna
get an outboard motor!

You are?

Can i?

Bud, outboards are
pretty expensive.

Listen, dad, you
won't believe it,

But I can get this
one for 40 bucks!

It used to belong to andy
fessler, but he's getting a new one,

And I can have his old
one for only 40 bucks!

Of course, it isn't new, but
you ought to hear it, dad.

She purrs pretty.
She purrs pretty!

"Put-put-put-put-put...

Put-put-put-put-put..."

And I got all the money for it
myself, dad. I already earned some.

Gosh, you ought to see it. I had it
over at andy's running in a barrel.

Hi, honey. Boy!
"Put-put-put-put..."

What kind of a day have you had?

Well, it's been pretty
"put-put-put-put-put."

It'll be great for you and me
on fishing trips this summer.

And now is the time to
buy it, in the off-season.

Kathy: hey, daddy!

Hi, daddy! Guess
how many as I got?

As? Is it report
card time again?

Uh-huh. Guess how many as.

Well, let's see.

Try six! Okay, I guess six.

Wrong! I got eight, see?

And here's another thing,
dad. I could use the motor

To take out fishing parties
and make some money.

Bud, will you stop
talking for just a second?

I'm sorry.

Hmm.

"Anderson, kathy.
Language... A. Spell..."

If I had an average of
three fishing parties...

Bud. Yes, sir.

"Music... A. Ar..." Uh-oh.

What happened here?
Only a "b" in arithmetic?

Oh, that was patty davis' fault.

I copied her answers one day,

And she had them all wrong.

Only three fishing
parties a week, dad,

And the motor would pay
for itself in one summer.

Bud, we'll talk
about that later.

Okay, but I ought to let andy fessler
know if I'm gonna take it or not...

Is there no way
of turning you off?

Opportunities like this
don't come along every day.

I said we'd talk
about this later.

By the way, son, where's
your report card?

Okay, dad, we'll talk
about the motor later.

Rup-put-put-put-put-put...

Put-put-put-put-put!

Put-put-put-put-put!

Put-put-put-put-put!

Put-put-put-put-put...
Put-put-put-put-put!

Put-put-put-put-put...

Honestly, what's he doing?

Is he studying to be a nitwit?

Oh, got this today.

Two as, nothing below a "b",

And I made honor roll.
Put-put-put-put-put!

Hey, dopey, shut off your motor

Before I come in there
and strip your gears.

And I got elected to
the student council.

If you want my autograph,
enclose a self-addressed envelope.

Oh.

Bud: put-put-put-put-put-
put-put-put-put-put...

Put-put-put-put-put!

Pretty good report
card betty got.

Yeah, and an onboard would
keep a fella on the outside,

Where it's healthy.
Health is very important.

Where did you say
your report card was?

Oh, it's around, I guess.

Put-put-put-put-put...

And I'd save on clothes, too,

Because I'd be wearing nothing
but old clothes most of the time.

Put-put-put-put-put...
Around here, you mean?

Yeah. I guess that's it.

C, b-, c...

Some of those teachers
have a crazy way of grading.

What's this? A "d" in science?

A "d"?! Let me see that.

Oh, how'd that get on there?

I thought science was
one of your best subjects.

Well, it is. The teacher just
hasn't found that out yet.

Well, he'd better
find out pretty soon

Before you wind up
with grades so low

You won't be able
to get into college.

Do you realize what you're doing
to yourself with grades like these?

Oh, but, dad...

You're throwing away
your whole future.

Nowadays, if a man
wants to get ahead,

He has to be prepared.

This is serious, son.

Well, glover just
marked me way down

'Cause I didn't hand
in some homework.

Why didn't you hand it in?

Well, uh... I didn't do it.

I was too busy earning
money for the outboard.

I see. Well, at this
point in your life,

Your education's a great deal more
important than an outboard motor.

Yeah, I guess so. But gosh...

I'll make you a proposition.

That motor sounds
like a pretty good deal.

We could make good
use of it next summer.

So, you get this "d" up to an
"a" on your next report card,

And I'll help you buy the motor.

Gee, will you really, dad? Yeah.

An "a"? That's
awful rough, dad...

sh**ting from a
"d" way up to an "a".

Couldn't we lower
that a little? To what?

D+? No.

C-? No!

I'll make it a "b".

But that's the absolute minimum.

It's that or no deal.

What do you say, son?

Oh, okay.

But do you realize the unfair
burden you're putting on me?

I'm gonna have
to start studying!

An outboard motor?

Why should he be rewarded
for getting a little crummy "b"

When I do better than
that all the time? Well, you...

Seems to me that's putting
a premium on stupidity,

And that's not fair. That's
bud's strong point... His stupidity.

Well, you see...

If he gets a motor, how
come I don't get a new dress?

Because your father
can't go fishing in a dress.

That's not it at all, smarty.

I just want to see bud start
to get some decent marks.

So do i.

But I'm just afraid he'll be
working to get that motor,

Not to get an education.

A false incentive gives him a
false idea of the value of learning.

He learns something
merely to get a reward,

And once he gets, he'll promptly
forget everything he's learned

And drift back
into his old habits.

At a p.t.a. Meeting yesterday...

Look, I can't argue
with a p.t.a. Member.

But at least give my
ignorant plan a chance.

I'll guarantee you one thing...

You're gonna see a lot of
scientific action around here.

A lot of it.

Bud: "to determine
if air is matter,

"Take an empty drinking glass

And invert it."

"After the rubber balloon

"Has been in a cold
place for ten minutes,

Remove it and notice its size."

"After you have connected
the positive pole of one

"To the negative
pole of the next...

"Connect the other two wires

To the terminals of the bell."

I'm coming, I'm coming!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Operator, to whom do I
report a phone out of order?

Hey, dad, look
how good it works.

Uh, never mind, operator.

Jim, why don't you
answer the phone?

No, dear. Young tom edison
just invented electricity.

What?

Oh.

When do the report
cards come out again?

I think next week.

Would you like to bet
an outboard motor that...

No!

The other night
at the p.t.a. Meeting

A speaker told
about a little boy

Whose indulgent parents
promised him $10 for every "a" he'd get.

And do you know what happened?

Certainly. The boy graduated from
grammar school independently wealthy

And now visits his parents faithfully
every week at the poorhouse.

Oh!

Oh, my gosh. I
forgot to write up

Those experiments old
glover gave us for homework.

Either I find somebody to
copy, or I'll be a blown buzzard.

Look no further.

Oh, no. I don't want to
start getting ds like you.

I've got a reputation
to protect.

Read this, will you?
It's perfect. Read it.

Hey, this is all right.
Who'd you copy it from?

I didn't copy it. I've
been studying, boy.

Yeah, I noticed that.

You know, you're getting
to be an awful square.

Not for long, though, junior.

Wait till you see
me next summer,

Steaming out across the lake.

Put-put-put-put-put...

You said you wanted to see
me after class, mr. Glover?

Oh, yes, I did, bud.

I wanted to ask you about this
paper you handed in yesterday...

The experiments you
wrote up for homework.

It's, uh, it's very good.

Thank you, sir.

But how do you
account for the fact

That it is identical,
word for word,

With joe phillips' paper?

Do you feel there
is much benefit

In copying someone else's work?

But I didn't copy it, sir.

I haven't said you did.

But now, bud, put
yourself in my place.

Let's say you have a
student who's been getting ds

And another one
who makes bs and as.

If the "d" student suddenly
turns in a perfect paper,

Exactly like the
"a" student's paper,

What would you think?

Well...

I'd say that it
looked kind of fishy.

But I didn't copy,
sir. Honest, I didn't.

Are you telling me that
joe copied your paper?

No, sir.

All right, bud.

We'll call this a
closed incident.

Inasmuch as you have been
doing better work lately,

I'm giving you a
"c" on this paper.

A "c"? But this is perfect.

And I need to be getting
some as because...

Well, you don't know
how important this is to me.

Under the circumstance,

I think "c" is a fair grade.

We have our quarterly
exam in a day or two.

That will give you ample
opportunity to prove yourself.

All right, bud?

Yes, sir.

Sir, if I do real
good in my exam...

Say, like a 98 or a 99...

Do you think I'll get a
"b" on my report card?

It's possible.

But that's pretty rough, bud.

Very few make 98. Very few.

It's for me!

Hello? Yeah, I
called, mr. Fessler.

I guess I shouldn't have had you
hold that outboard all this time.

No, it doesn't look
like I'm gonna get it now.

No, you'd better go
ahead and try and sell it.

Wait, bud! Okay, so long.

What'd you tell him that for?

I haven't got a chance, dad.

I couldn't no more
pull a "b" in that class

Than I could
drop-kick mr. Glover

With pockets full of lead and
his shoes bolted to the floor.

I thought you were
doing real well.

So did i, but... Well,
I'm a victim of fate.

Oh, now...

Life is dealing to me
right off the bottom...

With a stacked deck.

Oh, come, now.

I'm a pawn in an
iron claw machine,

And I've been clawed good.

All right, all right, hamlet.

Let's cut out the
dramatics and...

How would you like it if you'd
handed in a real good paper

And then had mr. Glover accuse
you of copying somebody else's?

Did you copy it?
No, honest, I didn't!

All right, I believe you.

Maybe I'd better go down and
have a talk with mr. Glover and...

No, don't do that. I don't
want him to think I'm a sissy.

Besides, I'm whipped anyway.

Now, wait a minute.

Do you know what I'd have
to get on the quarterly exam

To bring my report
card up to a "b"?

I'd have to get a 98.

Well, get it. Oh, sure.

What's the use? I've lost
the outboard anyway.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me you were working
solely to get that motor.

Don't ever let your mother
hear you say a thing like that...

Oh, we were just...

Discussing, uh... Something.

Yes, I heard.

I don't want to hear what the
speaker at the p.t.a. Meeting said.

I'm not saying anything.

All I want to do is introduce
the latest development.

Go ahead, kathy. Tell daddy
what you wanted to tell him.

Daddy, I've been getting
some awful low marks lately.

What? Not you.

Not my part-time quiz kid.

But I'm working harder,

And if I get back
up to as and bs,

Will you buy me
some shoe skates?

You mean she deliberately...

Which are now on
sale at gorman's

For only 14.95 plus tax.

Any questions, sir?

Come on, girl.

Wait! He hasn't answered!

The answer is no.

But bud's getting a motor!

Margaret: from what
I've heard, daddy, too.

Bud...

Look, son, man to man, now...

You and I are both in a spot.

But we're going to win.

When's that exam?
Day after tomorrow.

Okay, I'll call andy and ask him

If he'll give us a couple
of more days on that motor.

In the meantime, you have
tonight and tomorrow to study

Like you've never
studied before.

In fact, I'll help you.

No, dad. Don't help me.

Why not?

I can't take a chance on
getting any of it wrong.

And we use uranium 235...

The most powerful
fissionable material.

Now, if we wish to cause
an atomic expl*si*n...

Well, what's the
matter with you, bud?

Is your foot caught?

No, sir.

I just wanted to
ask you if it was okay

If I stayed after class and
studied for the exam tomorrow.

Well, certainly. That's fine.

I've pretty well covered
everything in our textbooks,

And I want to
know if it's all right

If I study out of some
of your other books.

Well, you're welcome.

This is a rare moment indeed.

Help yourself.

I ran off and forgot my...

Oh. You scared me.

I just knocked some
things on the floor,

And I was picking them up.

I see.

I sure am learning a lot.

I'm gonna do real good
on the test tomorrow.

Yes, I'm sure you are, bud.

I'm sure you are.

Well, now, we've got to
come to a decision on this.

It's to important to evade it!

Are we going to wear formal
or informal dresses to the dance?

I say formal.

Roy?

I think I'll just wear

My little green gingham frock

With the matching bloomers.

Oh, roy, every time we try

To decide to decide
something important, you...

Oh, hello, mr. Glover.

Sorry I'm late.

But something rather
important has come up.

A pretty serious problem.

Oh, good!

I suspect a student
in one of my classes...

I won't say whether
it's a girl or a boy...

Of contriving to get hold of
my exam questions ahead of time.

Oh, that's unforgivable.

As chairman of this council,

I suggest we take
immediate action

To have this student punished...

Maybe even expelled.

Now, betty, let's not
be too hasty to judge

Or to condemn,

At least not until
we know all the facts.

Yes, sir.

This student asked
to stay after class

And study for the exam
out of some of my books,

Which I admit surprised me.

I guess I should've suspected
something right then.

However, I left the room

To take the exam questions
to be mimeographed,

And then remembered
I'd left them on my desk.

When I returned, they
were in the student's hands,

And he or she quickly
put them back on the desk,

Looking quite startled.

He or she... Let's
say it's a she...

She said they had
fallen on the floor

And she was merely
picking them up.

Yeah, and doing a
little fast reading, too.

Well, I don't know.
But there you are.

I still say... Remember, now...

This is purely
circumstantial evidence.

I don't know that she
was reading the questions.

Yes, but...

Say, I have an idea. What
kind of grades does she get?

Very low, but showing
marked improvement lately.

However, I have
reason to suspect

This is due in part to copying
another student's work.

This kid's a crook.
Let's face it.

Wait, roy.

Mr. Glover, if you left
the questions as they are,

Could you tell by the way
this girl answered them

Whether she'd seen them before?

Yes, I think I could.

To get a real high grade
in this particular exam,

One would have to be
an exceptional student...

Which this one is not...

Or have advance information.

I said let her
take the test as is.

This will give her a chance
to acquit or convict herself.

And then we voted.

I don't know. Sounds
a little sneaky to me.

That's what mr. Glover
thought, but we outvoted him.

After all, father,
this is a serious matter.

Oh, I agree, but...

Kathy, get some more biscuits
out of the oven, will you?

Okay.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I stopped by andy fessler's
to take a look at the motor.

She's sitting
there waiting, dad.

Margaret: hurry upstairs
and wash your hands, bud.

Okay. I think I
finally got it made.

I know this stuff
forwards and backwards,

Inside-out, right side up...

Fine, fine, son. Go
upstairs and wash. Okay.

And I finally made a good
impression on old man...

Or, mr. Glover.

I stayed after class
and studied for the exam

Out of some of his books.

It was bud.

He was the girl.

Oh, no, it can't be.

Bud wouldn't do
a thing like that.

Of course, he wants
that motor awfully badly.

I know, I know.

And why should he
be so confident today,

When he was so
discouraged a few days ago?

Well, he's been studying.

At least I thought he was.

And to think this little
trap was my bright idea.

Well, I'm not
gonna let him fall...

No, no, betty. We
mustn't warn him.

He has to go through with this.

I have to know.

I have to know.

What's the matter, dear?

Can't you sleep, either?

No. I can't get bud off my mind.

What a miserable
spot for a kid to be in.

I feel like an executioner

Sending his own son to the...

I keep telling
myself he didn't do it.

Wouldn't it be better
if we talked to him?

No. If we warn him now,
we'll never know for sure.

Here's a switch for you.

I've been lying here
hoping and praying

He'd flunk his examination.

Bud, wait! I've got to
talk to you. What's up?

I wasn't supposed to tell you
this, but you're walking into a trap.

Huh? Your exam...
It's a trap set for you.

I don't know if you can
get a high grade or not,

But don't!

Well, I've got
to. Listen, dopey...

You're suspected of
reading the questions

When you were in there
studying yesterday.

I don't know whether
you did or not,

But if you get a high grade,
they'll know for sure...

Bud, aren't you coming in?

Oh. See you later, bud.

Bud? Aren't you coming in?

Yes, sir. Yes.

You will notice that one
or two of the questions

Have more than one part.

Be sure to answer all parts.

When you've finished,
you may leave.

And, uh, naturally,

I went over his examination
paper immediately.

You may look it
over if you'd care to.

Oh, excuse me for
barging in this way,

But you're mr. Glover,
aren't you? Yes.

Well, I'm bud anderson's father,

And when you have a moment, I
would like to talk to you about...

The matter of the...

Margaret, what
are you doing here?

Same thing you're doing.

Well, what happened? Did he...

Look at this. He
not only did well,

He got the highest
mark in the class... 99.

Oh, no.

I want you to know I was not
in sympathy with this method.

But in view of the
results, I thought...

Wait a minute. There's
something you have to know.

I did something I
know I shouldn't have,

But I just couldn't stand to
see bud walking into this trap.

So I told him the whole plan.

I know I wasn't supposed to...

You... You told him?

And he still answered the
questions the way he did?

Surely he didn't think
he could get away with it.

Oh, it's all mixed up now.

There's something
wrong somewhere.

It doesn't make sense.

Where is bud? Does anyone know?

I have him waiting
in the next room.

I told him we might
want to talk to him later.

Well, you'd better bring him in.

Let's hear what he has to say.

Roy?

Father, I'm sorry. I...

It's all right, betty.

What do you suppose
he was thinking?

He must've known a 99 would
practically convict him.

I don't know. I...

Hi.

Tuck your shirttail in, son.

Bud, I'm sure you know
what this is about.

Your exam paper, needless
to say, was almost perfect.

Knowing what this indicates,

Do you have any
explanation to make?

Well, sir...

Well, my gosh, I
knew all the junk...

Or... The material... Perfectly.

Well, then my sis tips
me off to the trap.

What's a fella gonna do?

I didn't want to flunk when
I could answer everything.

So I finally decided
to put it all down

And fight it out later.

I knew what everybody
was gonna think.

But I never looked at those
exam papers yesterday.

Honest.

I picked them up off the floor

And had them in my hand, yes.

But I never looked at them.

I didn't even know
what they were.

But if I had know, i...
Probably would've looked.

Mr. Glover, may we
talk for a moment?

Well, I'm in on this, too.

Mr. Glover, I know
you could look at this

More objectively than I can,

But I believe bud.

All I'm asking is
a chance for him

To prove to
everyone's satisfaction

That he's telling the truth.

Look, if he'd seen
those exam questions,

All he would've bothered to
study were the answers to those.

But he says he knows
all the material.

I say give him the test
on different material.

Let's see if he knows it.

Well, I hardly have time to
make out a whole new exam

For just one student.

Well... Make it an oral test.

Ask him everything. Cover
the field. Make it tough.

Isn't that fair?

Okay. Have him come to my room.

Jim, aren't you putting
bud in an awful spot?

Yeah.

But it has to be done, honey.

Has to be done.

All right, bud.

First I want you to tell me...

What is electrostatic inertia?

Think, bud. Think.

I... I don't think I know, sir.

Electrostatic, did you say?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I meant electromagnetic inertia.

Oh.

Well, that's where you
have an electric current

And the seed of the
electromotive force is cut.

And the current
continues for a short time.

Now, that's one way.
The other way is...

That's fine, that's fine.

Now, bud, tell
me... What is air?

Air is the invisible, odorless,

Tasteless mixtures of gases
which surrounds the earth.

It consists chiefly of nitrogen
and oxygen... At about 4 to 1...

Together 9% argon
and 3% carbon dioxide,

With varying amounts
of water vapor, helium,

Krypton, neon, and xenon.

We'd better get over
to andy fessler's.

Andy fessler's? Yeah.

We have to pick up
an outboard motor.