05x36 - Will the Real Oak Please Stand Up?

[bunniefuu]

male narrator: Making good
time on their journey

toward the Johto League,

Ash and his friends
stop in a small town

and decide to treat themselves
to a little gourmet dining.

- This is the best burger
I've ever had.

- Pika.

- [theme music playing]

- Huh?

- Hey, kids, get ready
for Professor Oak's Radio Show.

- Hello, boys and girls.

Been catching
lots of Pokémon?

- Professor Oak's show.

- And DJ Mary too.

- [singing]
Pokémon!

- No time to question
my moves

I stick to the path
that I choose

Me and my friends
are gonna do it right

You'll never see us
run away from a fight

To be a master
is my dream

All I've got to do
is believe

- I believe

- I've got a chance
to win

I'm on my way
to victory

- Pokémon!
- I can be a champion

If I just believe

I'm on a master quest

- Master quest

- I want the whole world
to see

- I believe

- I'm gonna be
the very best

'Cause all I've got to do
is believe in me

- Pokémon!

- So it is possible that
Starmie's blinking crystal

is somehow being used

to communicate with beings
in outer space.

- You know,
it does seem like

Starmie are from
some other world.

- Wow, do you think so?

- Now it's time for
Professor's Poetry Pantry.

Do you have a Starmie poem
for us today, Professor?

- I sure do, Mary.

Put your fighting faith
in Starmie

to make sure that you're safe
from harm-y.

- Uh, I hate to say it,
but that poem...

- It was kind of awful, huh?

- Pika.
- Toge.

- I don't know about that.

They say you have to think
about them for a while

to get what they're about.
- Huh?

- A Pokémon poem
may seem silly,

but there's always
a deeper meaning in there.

- Great news, kids.
Check it out.

- Tomorrow Professor Oak
will be doing

a live outdoor recording
of his show in Maroon Town.

And admission is free.

- That's right, Mary.

And I'll follow up
my lecture

with a question-and-answer
session.

- Recording starts at : p.m.
on the Pokémon stage

at the Maroon Town
fairgrounds.

And I'll be there too,
of course,

hosting the entire affair.

- Whoa! Mary's gonna
be there too!

Okay, next stop: Maroon Town.

- But how would we
get there in time?

She said it's tomorrow
at : .

- Hey, Maroon Town happens to be
right on our way,

and it's only one town away
from here.

- Yeah! Then let's hit the road
to Maroon Town, you guys.

- Pika, Pika.

- Finally a town.

I could use a rest.

- I could use a restaurant.

- It's your fault, James,
for losing the twerps.

- It's Meowth's fault.

- Sure, blame the little guy.

- Wobbuffet.

- Get back!

- [stomachs growls]
- [all groan]

- I'm starving.

- Wobbuffet.

- I'm exhausted.

- I can't walk
another step.

- Huh? What's this here
poster about?

- Whoa, that's Professor Oak,
and they're up everywhere.

- You're right for a change.
But what is it?

- A public recording
of Professor Oak's radio show.

- Here in this dinky town?

- Unless there's a free lunch,
I'm not interested.

- And after the taping
there's a free lunch buffet

for the stars of the show.

- A lunch buffet?

- Salads.
- And fruit cups.

- All's we gotta do...

- all: Is be the stars.

- Hi, kids. I'm everyone's
favorite deejay, Mary.

Welcome to today's
live show.

Well?

- Way too dramatic, babe.
Tone it down.

- Wobbuffet!

- Just who are you
supposed to be, anyway?

- I'm the big-mouthed,
overbearing producer.

Every show has to have one,
baby.

- Sad, but true.

- I couldn't help
but overhear you talking.

Are you Professor Oak
and Deejay Mary?

- I am Professor Oak,
the one and only.

- And I'm Mary,
the incredible deejay.

It's so nice for you
to have us, Nurse Joy.

- Welcome, on behalf
of Maroon Town.

But I'm surprised to see you,
since you originally said

you wouldn't be arriving
until tomorrow.

- Uh, yeah,
let me explain that.

I'm the big-top cheese here.

You see, I told the professor
that Maroon Town

was full of loyal Pokémon fans,

and he said he wanted
to meet them all

as soon as he could.

- I'm impressed, Professor.

In that case let me take you
to the stage right now.

Wow, you three
must've been hungry.

- Oh, yeah. It's been a long
journey for us.

- You got more grub
where this came from?

- All this food was supposed
to be the after-show buffet.

I could go see if there's
any more backstage.

- That's the plan.

You just keep
bringing it all out.

[laughs]

- Fine, and then while
I'm doing that, Professor,

would you mind answering some
of these children's questions?

- Uh, questions?

- Of course, of course.

Feel free to ask the professor
anything.

- Jessie, what if I don't
know the answers?

- Hey, that's for you
to figure out.

You're Professor Oak now,
aren't you?

- [all chattering]

- It's horrible.
They're staring holes through me

with those sweet
and unsuspecting eyes.

- No sweat, James.
I got all the answers for you

in these here books.

- You're a great producer,
Meowth.

- Hello, Professor.

I'm a really huge fan
of yours.

- Always nice to hear.

- Um, so what exactly
is that leek thing

that Farfetch'd is always
carrying around?

- A fine question.

What is that?

- Farfetch'd, Farfetch'd...

it doesn't say anything about
Farfetch'd in here.

Let's look in here. Hmm.

Wow, I didn't know tomatoes
were actually fruits

and not vegetables.

- Pokémon facts,
not fruit facts.

- Never mind, I'll fake it!

I have the answer
to that question, young lad.

Farfetch'd has a hockey stick.

- I never would have
guessed that.

But now that I've heard it
from you it must be true.

- Why is it that Electric
attacks don't work on Pokémon

like Quagsire even though
they're Water types?

- Uh, well, uh,
because of...

- Hang on.
I've got that here.

[whispers]

- Now that's because Quagsire
have the characteristics

of both Water and Ground types,

and of course you know
that Electric attacks

don't work on ground types,
isn't that right?

So even though Quagsire
is a Water type,

its Ground type
characteristics

protect it from
Electric attacks.

- Wow. You really do know
everything, Professor Oak.

- Well, that's my job.

[laughs]

- Is it true Clefairy
are aliens, Professor?

- How will I know
it's the right time

for evolving
my little Eevee?

- Is there really
such a Pokémon as Celebi?

- What do I do to evolve
my Tyrogue into a Hitmontop?

- Get them to slow down, James,
or we won't be able to keep up.

- Settle down, everyone.

Questions one at a time,
one at a time.

- [giggling]

- As President of
the Deejay Mary Fan Club,

I'm pleased to welcome you
to our town, Deejay Mary.

- I can hardly believe
I'm seeing you in person.

- Isn't that nice?

- Can we all take your picture,
Mary?

- Well, uh...

- A star never says no
to her fans, Mary.

Absolutely, folks.
Take all you want.

- [camera shutters click]

- [laughs nervously]

Go ahead.

A girl could get used
to this kind of treatment.

Whew, that was close.

For a minute there
I thought they'd figure out

we were phonies.

But we fooled them all,

and here we are still getting
the star treatment.

- Hot springs are always
so relaxing.

- Hey, I've got an idea.

I'll go find a phone
and order room service.

- Hold it!

- Huh?
- We've got a good thing going

and I don't want you
messing it up.

- Yeah, just think about
all the other freebies

that could be
coming our way.

- Then we'll keep riding
this gravy train.

- all: All hail the impostors.

- What do you mean the professor
and Mary are already here?

- They are.
- But that's impossible,

since this is Professor Oak
and I'm Deejay Mary.

- Then who's over there
having breakfast?

- How's that?

- She's got to be kidding
with that hairdo, right?

- And their manners
are terrible.

- Professor Oak,
I've been thinking about

what you said yesterday
and I'm pretty sure

that's not a hockey stick
Farfetch'd holds,

but some kind of a root.

- Well, you're on
the right track,

but the stick
you're talking about

isn't actually a root.

It's the stem of a plant.

And it certainly isn't
sporting goods.

- Then why did you say something
different yesterday,

Professor Oak?
- Huh?

- Yeah! You told us
that Farfetch'd

carries a hockey stick.

- Just because we're kids you
shouldn't give us fake answers.

- Wait, wait.

It really is believed
to be a stem, just like I said.

- Tell me, Professor,
is it a stem or is it a root?

- Can you prove Clefairy
are aliens like you said before?

- No, I can't prove that.

Some have said Clefairy
are extraterrestrials,

but there isn't any proof of it
in Pokémon science.

- Something's wrong.

I don't trust
this professor at all.

- I think they're trying
to fool us with a phony Oak.

- Professor, what do you think's
going on?

- Professor Oak!
- Huh?

- Hi.
- Hey, thanks for coming.

- It's clear that since fate
has brought us together again,

we must have been
meant to be.

- Actually, fate wants you
to stand over here.

- Well, thank you.

And it's nice seeing you
again too.

- Can you folks identify
those people

over at the breakfast table?
- Huh?

- How can the professor
be two places at once?

- Ah!

The twerp.

- Get out here!
- Why are you pretending to be

the professor and Deejay Mary,
and whatever it is you are?

- Hmm.

- What are you
talking about?

- [screams]

That voice!
This thing is not Mary!

- Where do you get off
calling me a thing?

I am Mary.
I am, I am, I am!

- And obviously
I am the professor.

- You're an impostor.

- What do we do now?

The real deal is here.
The jig is up.

- Who are you and what are you
doing impersonating us?

- You're impersonating me,
sweetheart.

- I'm me, and I ought to know.

- Tell her, Professor Oak.
I'm Mary.

- Somehow the fake Mary seems
more real than the real one.

- Or the real one's
more fake.

- You've got a lot of nerve
showing up here like this

and ruining my good name,
whoever you are.

- Professor Oak,
this is outrageous.

Don't let that phony
talk to you this way.

Our only shot is to play this
bluff for all it's worth, James.

- That's right, keep it going.
- Right.

You'll never convince anyone
that you're Professor Oak

with that haircut.

- [growls]

I like this cut.

- Stop!

- Since neither of you
will back down,

we'll have to have a contest

to determine
which of you is real.

- All we have to do is ask
questions about Pokémon,

and whoever answers correctly
is the real professor.

After all, Professor Oak
is the world's leading authority

on Pokémon research,
isn't he?

There shouldn't be
any Pokémon question

he can't answer
correctly.

- Fine. Let these be the terms.

Whoever loses will concede
the battle

and leave with no further
argument.

- Professor!

- But what if you lose?

- Don't worry. There's only one
Oak in this world, my friends,

so it should be easy enough
to spot the fake.

And if somehow I do lose,

it only proves that I haven't
studied sufficiently,

and I'm due to start over
from the beginning anyway.

- Ah.

- Only the true professor
would say something like that.

- Well, how say you,
Professor Oak?

- Well, I uh, that is, I...

- Accept.
- Ooh!

Ow. I mean, wow.
Wow, I accept. Yes.

- Oh, Professor,
you're so confident.

- Hey, wait, who's gonna be
the judge for this contest?

- None of us can do it,

because we already know
who the real professor is.

I know. Nurse Joy,
you be the judge.

- Huh?

- There couldn't be a more
perfect choice.

- I guess after all the
game shows that I've watched,

I can probably fake it.

- Who's that Pokémon?

It's Corsola.

- Corsola!

- [applause]

- Hi, everyone.
I'm Mary.

- And I'm Mary.

- And we have a very unusual
show for you today.

- A contest to reveal
the real professor.

- Why do we have to have
two announcers?

- They're both trying
to convince us

they're the real Mary.

- I can tell, because the real
one is more beautiful.

- Thank you, Brock.
So nice to hear.

- Ah! There's something way
scary about that Mary.

- Our test will consist
of three questions.

- The first contestant to answer
two questions correctly

will be judged as the real
Professor Oak.

- Our first question
requires a speedy response.

But if you give a wrong answer
you may not respond again,

so listen closely
and be careful

that you don't hit the buzzer
too soon.

- Now take it away,
Nurse Joy.

- Right. Here is the first
question.

What is the evolved form
of Slowpoke--?

- [buzzer dings]

- Ah, that was quick.

- Yes, as a child I played
a lot of video games,

and I was known
as "Flying Fingers" Sammy.

- Give us your answer now,
please, Professor A.

- The correct answer
is Slowbro.

- [buzzer sounds]
- Huh?

- Ha! Oh, so sorry,
Professor A,

but that was
your final answer.

- Sorry, there was more
to the question.

You were correct in saying

Slowpoke evolves
into Slowbro, but...

- Oh. Old "Flying Fingers" Sammy
jumped the g*n.

- But what is the name
of the psychic attack

that Slowbro learns
upon reaching level ?

- [whimpers]
- [clock ticks]

- [all gasp]

- [growls]

- [buzzer dings]

- Uh, I think I know.

- Hurry up and say something,
James.

- I've got amnesia.

- Ugh, we're finished.

- [bell rings]
- Yes, that's right.

Professor B is correct.

The attack is Amnesia.

- [cheers]

- I'm right and he's wrong.

- oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!

- Yup, that's right.

I guess to pretend
to be the professor,

he'd have to know
some things.

- Luck is on my side,
so I'll just keep guessing.

- This guy really knows
his stuff.

- That's one correct
for Professor B.

But that's no surprise, since
he is the true Professor Oak.

- All right, Nurse Joy,
let's have question number two.

- This question deals
with a silhouette.

Examine this silhouette
and tell me which Pokémon it is.

- What is that?
Some kind of mutant footprint?

- I remember answering
a question like this once.

- That's right, Ash.

It looked like a footprint
or something,

but it was actually a Jigglypuff
seen from underneath.

- Let's see which professor
knows it.

- Now Professor B has the
privilege of answering first.

- Uh, is it the hand
of a Sudowoodo?

- Ha! That's a great answer.

- And now Professor A?

- It is clearly the tail
of an Aipom.

- Nurse Joy, has either one
given the correct answer?

- The answer is,
Aipom's tail.

Professor A is correct.

- [cheers]

- Good job, Professor.

- That's it.
You're halfway there.

- Professors A and B
each have earned one point.

Our last question
will determine the winner

and the identity of the true
Professor Oak.

Okay, Nurse Joy, I think we're
ready for the final question.

- Wow, winner take all.
Pretty dramatic stuff, huh?

- Who are you?

- I'm the producer
of this here show, kiddo.

- Listen, Meowth, if you don't
do something we're gonna lose.

- Just leave it all
to Meowthy, baby.

Everyone knows Professor Oak
is known

as much for his poetic ability

as he is for his Pokémon
knowledge,

so why don't we decide this
with a poetry contest?

- [cheers]
- Poetry contest! All right!

- I'm sure the true professor
could come up

with an original Pokémon poem

that would knock the socks off
those who have socks, right?

- I like it.

- I've got no problem
with that at all.

- A poetry battle, huh?

- This'll be awesome.

- Pikachu.

- Bad move. You don't know
a thing about poems.

- That's where you're wrong,
dear Jessie.

In fact, I was a champion
stand-up poet in grade school,

and I won the Golden Tongue
Award three years running.

- Oh.

- A round of Pokémon poetry

will now decide this contest
once and for all.

I guess we just need
the audience

to suggest a theme for us.

- Wobbuffet.
- Huh?

- Oh, sorry.
I have a bad habit

of blurting that out sometimes
for no reason.

Wobbuffet.

- Fine, Wobbuffet will be
the theme of our two poems.

- So we're gonna do Wobbuffet,
huh?

- No problem.

I can spin together a beautiful
line of verse.

Stand back and I'll start
this off.

It inflates its psychic self,

but light will put it
on the shelf.

Wobbuffet.

- [gasping]

- Not bad,
if I do say so myself,

for a little Wobbuffet poem
I just whipped up on the spot,

but then I guess that's the kind
of stuff you'd expect

from the real
Professor Oak.

- I don't get it,
but it did sound kind of pretty.

- I guess it had
a certain ring to it.

- Pika?

- James, that was really
fantastic.

I never knew you had a talent
for rhyme.

- Maybe now you'll listen to me
when I talk.

And by the way, don't call me
James. I'm a professor.

- Ahem. Not bad, but let me
show you how it's done.

Wobbuffet. When life is
a mystery, it's your answer.

- [groaning]
- Oh, man, that's a little deep.

- Yeah, it's so deep
it's a ditch.

- This verse applies
both to one small element

of a Wobbuffet's life,

and on another level
to the struggles of all people

to understand and make the most
of their lives.

- Give it up. Your poem went
over like a lead balloon.

- I could have done
better than that.

If I'd just said "Wobbuffet
wears a hair barrette"

at least it would have rhymed.

- Time to announce the winner.

- Now, Nurse Joy,
who's the winner?

- Hmm.

- Contestant A is the one
and only true Professor Oak.

- Hmm.
- Way to go.

- How can you say that?

It's so obvious that my poem was
superior to his pompous drivel!

- Not true.

Your work showed no
understanding of Pokémon poetry.

- Huh?
- I ought to know,

since I'm a fifth-level master
of Pokémon poetry.

- Hey, that is impressive.

- How come you didn't
know that?

- All of Professor Oak's poems
have one thing in common:

the ability to reassure
and relax people.

Such as...

"Blastoise fight or hide away,

to fight again
some other day."

Obviously one meaning
is literally to be careful.

But the deeper message
is for all people

to save their strength for
those difficult times in life

when they will really
need it.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- And to give another
example.

"Sandslash rolls
into a spiny ball,

three meals a day
and eats them all."

On the surface this poem sounds
like just a description

of Sandslash
and its lifestyle,

but it also carries
a lesson for us,

that we should enjoy
a balanced life

and try all the new experiences
that life offers us.

So the professor
has clearly proven

that he is a master
of Pokémon poetry,

and sometimes
he even gets it to rhyme.

[laughs]
- Now, Joy.

That's laying it on
a little thick.

- You, on the other hand,
are obviously an amateur,

and your clever rhyme
doesn't change the fact

that your wearing
a bad wig.

- Amateur? How dare you?

- I paid a fortune
for this disguise!

- Wobbu!

- That's no imitation
Wobbuffet.

That sounds like
the real thing.

- Wobb!
- There it is again.

- Put a cork in it
down there.

Huh? Ah!

- Wobbuffet!

- That's Wobbuffet
and Meowth.

- If they're here...

- That means Team Rocket
is here.

- Pika.

- About time
you figured it out.

- Now, playing the role
of Professor Oak.

- We hope you all enjoyed
this little joke.

- Now I present
who we really are.

- To protect the world
from devastation.

- To unite all peoples
within our nation.

- To denounce the evils
of truth and love.

- To extend our reach
to the stars above.

- Jessie.
- James.

- Team Rocket blast off
at the speed of light.

- Surrender now or prepare
to fight, fight, fight.

- That's right.

- Wobbuffet.

- Team Rocket!

- I knew there was something
fishy going on.

- Yes, and we've had
a whale of a time.

- But we're slippery as eels.

- Weezing, Smoke Screen now!

- Weezing.

- [coughs]

- [laughing]

- We've decided that we'll
take our food to go.

- Oh, no, the catered lunch!

- Oh, no, you don't.

- [squawks]

- A Pidgey.
- I caught it on the way

and thought it might
come in handy.

- Look out.
Inbound Pidgey.

- Go get them, Pidgey.
Quick attack.

- [cooing]

- Hey! All my snacks!

- Pika!
- All right, we got it!

- Now, Pidgey,
use Gust attack.

- Don't make me laugh.
A little thing like that?

- Couldn't blow out
a candle.

- Hey, come back
when you grow up.

- [coos]

- We're blasting off again!

- Wobbu!

- That was fantastic.

- They made the classic mistake
of judging an opponent

solely by its appearance.

Terrific work, Pidgey.

- [coos]

- Feels like time
for a poem.

If it's a big Gust
you intend,

then it's a Pidgey
you should befriend.

- [cooing]

- Professor, I'm sorry I thought
you were a fake.

- Don't even think about it.

Gather round now
and let's talk Pokémon, okay?

- Yeah!

- Now that is the professor.

- Pika.

- The kids sure know
he's the real thing.

- Toge, Togepi.

- Often imitated
but never duplicated.

- male narrator:
One simple but meaningful poem

was all it took to resolve
the case of the phony professor.

And now it's time
for Ash and his friends

to continue their journey.

- Someone, anyone,
get us down from here.

- Hey, I thought
of another poem.

- I think we all had enough
of your poems.

- Those little twerps
don't seem so tough.

- [screams]

all: But we always end up
blasting off!

- [singing] No time to question
my moves

I stick to the path
that I choose

Me and my friends
are gonna do it right

To be a master
is my dream

All I've got to do
is believe

- I believe

- I'm on a master quest

- Master quest

- I want the whole world
to see

- I believe

- I'm gonna be
the very best

'Cause all I've got to do
is believe in me

- Pokémon!