05x03 - Escape from Pal-Catraz

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

(TV playing)

Raven: Booker, turn off the TV!
It's time for bed!

Okay, mom.
(Clears throat)

(Creepy music on TV)

Announcer: Coming up next, we reveal
the shocking secrets

of the world's
most infamous prison.

This is
"Alcatraz declassified."

I do love shocking secrets.

(Sirens on TV)

I'll just watch
five minutes.

(Chatter, sirens on TV)

(TV continues)

Wow.

That was a lot of secrets
for five minutes.

Announcer: If eight hours of
secrets wasn't enough...

Eight hours?

It...

It's morning?

I was up all night?

Gotta get to bed.

Announcer: ...Get ready for
eight more hours

of "Alcatraz declassified."

(Chatter, sirens continue)

Okay, five more minutes,
and then bed.

Theme music playing...

♪ Ha, ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ New city,
I'm finding my way ♪

♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

- ♪ C'mon! ♪
- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪

- ♪ We get loud! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough,
but together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

(Raven laughing)
*RAVEN'S HOME

Yep! That's us.

[♪ ♪]

*RAVEN'S HOME
Season 05 Episode 03

Episode Title: "Escape From Pal-Catraz"
Aired on: March 25, 2022.

[♪ ♪]

Raven? Alice?

Booker!

(Snaps) Nobody's home.

It's nap time.

Nappy, nappy, nap time.

(laughs)

Yes, sir. (Sighs)

(Inhales, exhales)

- Hey, pop-pop!
- (gasps) Hey, Alice.

Ready to go to the zoo?

They feed the tigers at 3:00,
and let you watch.

And sometimes,
there's accidents.

I hope by accident, you mean

they feed them too much.

(Giggles) Yeah,
that's what I mean.

I'm sorry, Alice.
I'm really knocked out.

But here's an idea. Why don't
you paint a picture of a tiger?

Okay, but just remember

this was all your idea.

(Doorbell)

What now?!

I got it.

Check out what I found
at the flea market.

A rare copy of nudo mardoonie's
horror classic

"everyone screams."

It has more screams per minute
than any horror movie ever made.

Why are you watching it here?

You're the only
person we know

that has the thing
to play these things.

Forget that!
I've got something better.

There's a marathon of
"Alcatraz declassified" on,

and season three
is about to start.

Alcatraz is the best.
I've been there a million times.

You've been there?

Oh yeah. I know everything
about that place.

Did you know Alcatraz
is Spanish for pelican?

Did you know the island
Alcatraz sits on is a meteorite?

Did you know they give
tours of Alcatraz,

and you can go there right now?

- Then what are we doing here?
- Yeah.

- That's what I'd like to know.
- Booker: See you, grandpa!

- Neil: Later!
- Ivy: Bye, Mr. Baxter.

(Victor sighs)

Finally.

(Sighs)

- (loud music on TV)
- (gasps)

Oh good, you're awake!
You can watch

the finale of "Real Housekeepers
of Hoboken" with me. Oh!

So good, dad!
All you have to know

is that Cynthia's with Brett,
but Brett's with Carl,

who says he's with Tammy,
but everyone knows he's not

except for Rachel,
and she's finding out today.

With the rest of America.

(Whooshing)

- (Screaming)
- (fire alarm blaring)

(Whooshing)

(Gasps) Oh no!
The chill grill.

What about the chill grill?
D-did you just have a vision?

Uh... No, what?
(nervous laugh)

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

If you had a vision about my restaurant,
you have to tell me.

Okay, fine. But, um,
it's nothing to worry about.

You know, you just, uh,

y-you ran out of cheese.

Ran out of cheese?!
It's fondue Friday!

Dad, dad!
Do not get up, alright?

I do not want
you to stress.

I-I'll handle it.

Let me get this straight.

You want me to stay here,
in this chair,

and not move.

Can you handle that?

- (Click)
- Won't be easy,

but I'm gonna give it
a good ole...

College try...

- Oh, he's already drooling. (Laughs)
- (snoring)

They're so adorable at that age.

[♪ ♪]

Welcome to Alcatraz.
I'm Beth, your guide.

Before we start
our tour of the cells,

I'm going to ask you
to turn off your cells.

(laughter)

We're lucky we got Beth.

She's the only one who
makes that joke work.

This is so cool.
I can't believe we're actually here!

If anyone has any questions,
feel free to ask. Now,

- if you'll follow me...
- Beth!

- Yes?
- Did you know Alcatraz

is Spanish for pelican?

Oh! Someone did their homework!

I told you that.

Yeah, and I remembered it.

- Homework.
- Beth: Now,

over here, we have...

Uh, Beth!

- Yes?
- Did you know Alcatraz

had the first lighthouse
on the west coast?

Yes. It was built in...

1853! (Quiet laugh)

"Alcatraz declassified,"
episode six, season one.

Actually, construction
started in 1853,

but it was
completed in 1854.

Roger the tour guide,
field trip, fourth grade.

This is going to be
a long tour.

I hope so.
I am learning a lot.

[♪ ♪]

(restaurant chatter)

Um... Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

I just want to make it...

Thank you very much.

Oh good. No smoke.
It hasn't happened yet.

Wow.

Hello, chill grill,
my old friend.

- Man: Raven?
- Chill grill?

Chill grill, is that you?

Raven Baxter!

(laughs) Wow,
you have not changed!

Well, thank you.
I try to keep it tight.

- Come on, bring it in.
- Oh! Hold up there, stranger danger.

Whoa. Stranger?
(laughs) It's lazlo.

You remember? Back from
when you were a teenager,

I used to laugh at all
your crazy shenanigans.

Hello. Welcome
to the chill grill.

My name is Raven,
and this is my winning smile.

The world-famous band
boyz 'n motion

are coming down here
today to the chill grill.

(Screams)

(Hip-hop music)

See? I was there
the whole time.

No, I'm sorry.
I don't remember you.

Oh. Of course not.
Why would you remember me?

I'm only your father's
right-hand man.

I even sent him a "get well soon" pie.
Did you get it?

Yeah, we got it.

I guess my thank you card
got lost in the mail.

(Fwoosh)

Iazlo, is-is that a fire?!

No, no, that is
blackened catfish.

Table 12! Order up!

I'm watching you, lazlo.

But I'm smellin' the catfish.

Smellin' good, table 12!
Let me get some!

[♪ ♪]

And here we have
the highlight of our tour.

The cell of Alcatraz's
most infamous inmate,

al Capone.

Crowd:
Ooh...

(coughs) Wrong!

I'm sorry, did you
say something?

Oh, I think he said wrong,
but he coughed at the same time,

so it was hard to understand.

Is that what you said, Booker?
That she was wrong?

Yes, Neil, that's...
That's what I said.

This is definitely
al cap one's cell.

That's what they
want you to think,

but this is actually
his second cell

because he escaped
from the first one.

Oh. You watched "Alcatraz
declassified," didn't you?

Ah...

I get one of you wackos
on the tour every week.

Asking to see
the underground cafeteria,

the hidden tunnels,
the lost chamber

where the knights templar
hid their treasure.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Spoiler alert, Beth!

I haven't seen
season three yet.

Booker, none of
that stuff is true.

It has to be.

I saw it on TV.

Sorry to burst your bubble,
but there is no other cell.

This is where
they held al Capone.

Now, if we're done
with this little digression,

who wants to sit
in an electric chair?

(All exclaiming)

(Tourist chatter)

- Booker, come on.
- No.

I'm sorry, she's wrong.
Al Capone had another cell.

(Scoffs) He didn't.
Trust me, I would know.

- Maybe you're wrong.
- (gasps) Oh no.

You did not just tell Ivy that.

Every time someone
tells her she's wrong,

she goes to any length
to prove that she's right.

Nothing makes her madder.

Yeah well, putting your hands
over my ears is a close second.

I'm sorry, Ivy.
This time, you're wrong.

(Scoffs) Only one way
to find out.

Let's sneak off the tour,

and you can show us
this secret cell.

Let's do it.

Guys, I don't think
this is a good idea.

But I do hate missing out
on things. Wait up!

[♪ ♪]

Ha! There it is! Cell 433.

Ta-da.

What do you mean "Ta-da"?
This looks like every other cell.

Yes, but not every other cell

has the initials ac
carved in the corner.

- Come on, I'll show you.
- (rattling)

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Hey, Neil, hold the door.
- Yeah.

Come on, I know
it's here somewhere.

It's not.
Trust me, I'm right.

Just because you watched
a crazy TV show

doesn't mean you know
what you're talking about.

Well, just because
you don't like being wrong

doesn't mean you're not.

Ha! There it is!

A.C. Al Capone. Ha!

That could be anything.

Oh yeah.
Looks like ac to me.

- Neil? Who's holding the door?
- (rattling)

(Bang)

I can't believe we're
trapped in al cap one's cell!

You still haven't
proved that!

No, he's right.
We're trapped.

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

And there you were,

lying in the middle
of a giant pizza,

making snow angels
in the tomato sauce.

(laughs)

You were there?

Was I there?

Who do you think
cleaned it up?

I had marinara sauce
in places

where you shouldn't
have marinara sauce.

(Restaurant chatter)

(Sizzling)

Hey, laszlo, are you
gonna get the toast?

(Sizzling continues)

(Whispers):
Laz...

(pop)

Ow! Oh! Ooh ooh ooh! (Blowing)

That's hot! That's...

- (hissing)
- What now?

- Oh, Raven? What are you doing?
- Huh?

Why is the toast
out of the toaster?

Because you forgot it,

just like you forgot
those burgers in there.

Uh, unlike some people,
I do not forget about toast

or burgers or good friends.

But by the way,
how are Chelsea and Eddie?

Oh, that's alright. Actually, I know
how they're doing

because we have a group text.

Why am I not on that text?

(Hissing)

This man is going
to burn this place down!

(Flames roar)

O-o-oh, come on!

I don't understand
why she doesn't remember me.

I was at her wedding,

which I knew wasn't going
to last, by the way. (Laughs)

Fire in the hole!

(Coughing)

What did you do?

I saved your life,
and I saved the chill grill.

Okay, you should be thanking me.
You're dangerous!

Dangerous?

I have been head chef of
the chill grill for 20 years.

Ha! It's a miracle this place
hasn't b*rned down 20 years ago.

Okay. I see what's happening.

You are trying to take
over the chill grill?

- Now, now, now...
- Well, guess what?

You can have it!

Congratulations.
You are the new head chef.

I quit! Wait till Chelsea
and Eddie hear about this.

Yo, you better keep my name
out your text message!

[♪ ♪]

- I still can't get a signal.
- I'm freaking out!

The walls are closing in!

How long have we been in here?

- Nine minutes!
- (crying)

(Weakly): I hope my family's doing
okay on the outside.

- Ivy, what are you doing?
- Getting us out of here.

If we miss the last
ferry off the island,

- we'll be stuck in this cell all night.
- Oh, great idea.

The tour guide will smell your
stinky feet from a mile away.

We're saved!

If you had been paying attention
on the tour, you would know that

there are cell release buttons
at the end of every hall.

I'm gonna hit it with my shoe,
the cell door opens,

boom. Ivy saves the day.

But, Ivy, that's not gonna...

Booker, please.
I need to concentrate.

Okay...

- (click)
- Yes!

How did that not work?

Well, as I was
trying to tell you,

the cell release buttons
were disabled in 1936

after an escape attempt.

Season two, episode 16.

Is there, um, something
you want to say to me?

Okay!

- You were right.
- And you were...

Also right!

If we were escaping in 1935.

Wow, you really have a problem
admitting you're wrong.

You have no idea.

Ask about the time
she got bangs in sixth grade.

I looked amazing,
I don't regret it,

and I would never
admit otherwise.

See what I mean?

[♪ ♪]

(snoring)

I can't go to the zoo,

the zoo will come to me.

(Snoring)

(Snort)

(Snort)

- Yeah.
- (snoring)

(Snoring)

(Snores)

(Snort, mumble)

(Snores)

(Snort)

(Snores)

(Snores)

I can work with this.

[♪ ♪]

Meatloaf, Turkey dinner,

mushroom Risotto. (Laughs)

- Sounds like three grilled cheeses to me.
- (dinging)

Hello and thank you.

(Clears throat) Hi,
welcome to the chill grill.

What kind of grilled
cheese would you like?

Hello, Raven.

Hello, lazlo.

- What are you doing here?
- Mm!

I'm just an average customer,

out for a casual
dining experience.

Although I hear things
have gone downhill

since the head chef quit.

I know what you're doing, lazlo.

You think I'm in over my head.
You're here to gloat.

Raven, my old friend
who has no idea who I am.

I would never do that.

Uh-oh!

Looks like the bingo hall
down the street just let out.

They're old, they're hungry,

and you definitely don't
want them to eat cheese.

Oh no, no, no.
Wait, wait.

Oh, come on! Please,
don't leave, please.

Listen, I can make you something
other than a grilled cheese.

How about a... How about
a quesadilla on toast?

- Uh, what are these doing back?
- I just sent these out.

You clearly have this
under control,

but if you want my opinion...

- I do not.
- Okay,

as a professional chef...

Sorry, former professional chef,
let me just...

Iazlo! Please stop
distracting me.

That's how accidents
happen, okay?

(Thud, clatter)

Nope, that's how
accidents happen.

(Flame crackling)

Hi, welcome to the chill grill.

What kind of grilled cheese
can I get you?

(Crowd screaming)

Whoa!

(Screaming continues)

Oh snap, I started it!

And when you're finished
putting out that fire,

I could use a refill.

[♪ ♪]

- (scraping)
- If I could scrape

one of these bricks loose,
we could crawl out of here.

Three guys tried in 1962.

And they got out?

Yeah. Yeah, eventually.

In a hearse.

You know what? If you
would have just admitted

that you were wrong
about al cap one's cell,

we wouldn't have
gotten locked in here.

Me? This is your fault!

- No, it's your fault.
- (muffled): It's my fault!

I let the door
close on purpose.

- What?
- What?

Yeah...

You know those
escape rooms where you...

Have to work
together to get out?

Well, I just thought maybe
getting locked in here

would bring you two together.

And my bangs were a bad idea?

Neil, this is not
an escape room.

It's Alcatraz!
It's a you-can't-escape room!

Well, I think we can.
We just have to work together.

- He's right.
- Yeah.

- We can do this.
- Yeah.

(Click, whirring)

We just have to do it
in the dark.

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

(ship horn blares)

It's past 6:00. The ferry's
going to leave any minute.

Yeah, and we're
going to be on it.

Look, we both know stuff
about Alcatraz, right?

You're right.

Let's assume this really
is al cap one's first cell.

How did the show
say he escaped?

Well, there are many theories...

Just need the one that works.

Okay, the guards found a hammer
and chisel hidden in the cell,

so he must have
tunneled out somehow.

Yeah...

With the hammer
and chisel. (Scoffs)

This guy...

He would have had to break
through to another room

or the ventilation system.
Something.

A vent!

(Creak, bang)

Look!

This really is al cap one's
secret cell! I was wrong.

Okay. I said it. Can we just go?

Okay. Who wants to crawl
through the toilet hole first?

I will!

I don't want to be number two.

Would've been funny
if Beth said it.

[♪ ♪]

Iazlo:
Fire's out!

You can stop now!

(Coughs, sighs)

And, uh, tell Victor he needs
a new ticket carousel because...

Well, you k*lled this one.

Okay, uh... Guess I'll go now.

(Sighs) Bye, chill grill.

Did you say something?

- No.
- Oh my mistake.

- I'm sorry, what was that?
- I didn't say anything.

Ah.

Okay, I guess I'll just, uh...

Continue... Leaving...

Lazlo, wait.

Okay, that time,
I definitely heard it.

Look, I thought you were
going to start a fire.

Why would you think that?

Because everything you were
doing almost started a fire!

- You burnt the toast and the burgers!
- Raven,

I didn't burn the toast.
The customer ordered it that way.

And the burgers were twice charred.
It's on the menu!

Okay, okay, then
what about the-the fish?

The flaming flounder?

That is my show-stopper.

Ah, lazlo, I shouldn't have been
all up in your business today.

It's just that dad's
at home recovering,

and I just wanted
everything to be handled.

Raven, your father
is like family to me.

When it comes to
the chill grill,

you don't have to worry.

I got this.

- (Sighs)
- (gasps)

Iazlo, will you come back
to the chill grill?

I don't think it can
survive without you.

Oh yeah...

Also, my dad
doesn't need to know

about the little fire I started.

Fire? What fire?

I always liked you.

- Boom.
- (laughs)

- Ooh! Back to work!
- Okay.

[♪ ♪]

Are you serious?

We can't tell anyone that
we're the first people

to successfully escape
from Alcatraz?

Do you really want your mom
knowing what we did today?

So, we're agreed.
No one can know.

(Kiss) Perfect.

Oh, you're back.

Here. Hold this.

Uh, okay...

Good luck, Booker.

(Yawns)

Hey, kids. How was Alcatraz?

(laughs)

Oh no.

- I'm gonna go.
- Me, too.

Victor:
Booker!

[♪ ♪]